Moments In Time - Part 5, Season 8
by AliyahNCIS
Summary: An AU version of the show in which Tony and Ziva got married the summer before S4 and keep it a secret during the series. A glimpse into what their life together could have looked like. If you're starting here you'll feel pretty lost, please check out Parts 1-4 first.
1. 8x1 The Spider and The Fly 1

_A/N: Hello all! Welcome to the next installment of Moments In Time :) This one will be significantly shorter than Part 4, but still somewhere over twenty chapters. There's a lot of compilation chapters in this one where I had to combine a couple episodes due to lack of material. I look forward to having you guys along for the ride. Trust me, this part is going to have some great moments :) On a side note, there is one line in the flashback that is very similar to one in a story by LittleSammy on Archive of Our Own. Because I can't remember how I came by that line, I want to give credit for the inspiration to LittleSammy who is an amazing author, a huge Tiva fan, and a dedicated part of Operation Bring Back Cote. Go check out her stuff, you won't regret it! Thanks for everything, I can't wait to hear what you think! Love ~Aliyah_

**Tuesday September 21 continued**

It was a late night after an early morning, but Tony couldn't make himself put down the remote or shut off the TV. Footage from a Mexican street stared back at him and Tony clenched his jaw. The mistakes were glaringly obvious now, from a distance. He only wished he'd seen what was happening sooner, then maybe he wouldn't be on Vance's bad side...again. Gibbs materialized out of the shadows. "Watching it over and over isn't going to change anything."

Tony pressed play, saw Rivera give the signal and chaos ensue. "It was a trap."

"Yup."

He sighed. "I should've known something wasn't right."

Gibbs finished his coffee and flicked the empty cup into a wastebasket. "My guess is you were distracted by more than one thing."

"Should've been here for Ziva's ceremony. We've been partners for five years, it's wasn't fair that I missed it. Moments like that only come around once."

Gibbs was saved from having to decide if the comment hinted at a Rule 12 infraction when Vance strode around the corner. "Status report."

Unable to shake the feeling of being demoted and relegated to non-agent duties, Tony clicked the small TV off. "Ziva and McGee are still following leads. Looking pretty slim by now."

The director crossed his arms. "This is starting to impact our workload. Paloma Reynosa could be anywhere. I don't like it." Neither did Gibbs and Tony, but for once they said nothing. After a moment Leon handed Gibbs a folder. "New case. West Virginia. I suggest you leave now."

Never mind that it was the middle of the night and they hadn't slept yet, now they had a six hour drive to look forward to. Tony grabbed his things without comment, but inwardly he worried about how he could help Ziva if the pattern of nightmares continued without tipping Gibbs off that something was going on. Maintaining that coffee was all the sleep he needed, Gibbs handed Tony a travel pillow from the trunk. "Take the rest while you can DiNozzo."

Opting for the backseat where he could lay down and have a little more privacy, Tony pulled his unzipped sweater up over his shoulders and closed his eyes, phone clutched tightly in one hand. The vibration woke him an hour later and he made himself ignore the call but tapped out a quick explanation and started a game of 'I Spy'. Ziva's responses were reluctant, but she tried. Forty-five minutes passed before she thought about sleeping again and insisted he do the same. A final 'ILY' closed the conversation and Tony found it a challenge to shut his eyes and relax. His wife needed him and she was over eight hundred miles away. Not cool.

The crime scene was enlightening but chilling. Nine hours was a big headstart for a drug dealer with innumerable connections. Even after processing the area and a long drive back to DC, Tony followed Gibbs off the elevator still trying to wrap his head around the logistical issues. "West Virginia has five bordering states Boss."

Gibbs was grouchier than usual on a day and a half without sleep and it hadn't helped that the last time they stopped for coffee someone messed up and put a whole bunch of sugar in his. "Giving out geography lessons?"

Tony spread his hands. "I'm just saying, that's a lot of land to cover."

The team leader sipped his free and fixed coffee. The glare could do powerful things. "Get Ziva back from Miami. Tell McGee the copter was heading north when it went down."

His heart leapt at the thought of having his wife back before the end of the day. "North as in Canada?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Maybe." He continued in the direction of Autopsy and Tony took advantage of an empty bullpen to make his phone call.

It rang several times before Ziva answered. "Shalom Tony."

He grinned. "How much do you love me?"

Her tone was cautious. "Why?"

"I hope you haven't gotten too comfortable in that hotel room Zi, you're on the next flight home."

"Home?" He could easily imagine the joy lighting her face.

"Home," Tony confirmed.

She closed her eyes. "I have been waiting to hear that for sixteen days."

"Me too babe."

Ziva straightened her dress. "I am out for an early dinner with Rob, but I will leave right away and get a cab. The next few hours will seem very long when you are so close."

"Dinner?"

She folded one arm across her waist and he could almost feel her piercing stare. "Everyone needs to eat Tony."

"But...with Rob?" he protested.

Ziva rolled her eyes and muttered something in Hebrew about husbands. "It has been two weeks, we are becoming friends." She paused. "He has invited me to his apartment more than once. I am choosing the more appropriate option for a married woman."

Tony's jaw tightened. "He's hitting on you?"

Exasperated, she changed the subject. "What time is my flight?"

He checked his watch. "Ninety minutes."

"Then I'll see you in five hours." For a moment Ziva dropped the work tone. "I love you."

Tony felt relief, knowing he'd played the jealous fool once again. "I love you. I'll be counting the minutes."

"As will I," she said softly before hanging up.

Though he expected time to drag, doing the work of two and a half people made it pass rather swiftly. Almost before he realized it the elevator doors dinged and Ziva came out, her eyes brightening at the sight of him even as the shadows underneath that were only just noticeable and faint smile gave testament to how rough the past two nights had been. She didn't look nearly as relaxed as she should've after two weeks in the Miami sun. With everything in him Tony wished he could hug her, smother her in an embrace so tight and long she'd know she was back where she belonged. But his brief fantasy of jumping out of his chair and kissing her with enough passion to make her toes curl had died with the re-emergence of her night terrors and the realization that today's date marked one year since they'd gotten her out of the camp.

"Hello Tony." Her voice was soft and he ached for the vibrant light she'd possessed before being sent away. "I'm back."

Nevertheless Tony tried his best to keep up the facade and act like seeing her again after two very long weeks was no big deal. "Well hello Little Miss Sunshine State. How was your excursion into the South Beach nightlife?"

Ziva took her hat off and dropped her things on the floor. "Unexplored. I was working the entire time."

He cocked an eyebrow and chuckled. "Would those be tan lines I see?"

She gave her shoulders and arms a brief glance. "Where do you think you are looking?"

"Does it matter?"

Playing along, Ziva leaned forward, purposely giving him a view down her shirt. After the stress of the past two days she desperately needed their banter. "Actually, it does. I can assure you Tony," she practically purred, "I do not have tan lines."

"Oh." In that one syllable she knew she'd lost him and Agent Tony slipped into the background while Husband Tony took a minute to imagine his wife naked on a towel. "So you did lay in the sun?"

"I did," she confirmed. "But only for a little while." Ziva pushed away from her desk. "And I also came up with something case related before my flight."

He sniffed the air when she got closer. "You smell like ocean and shea butter." She gave him a sharp look he didn't notice with his eyes closed. When they opened, their gazes locked and Tony slid his hand over hers while Ziva's fingers worked gently through the soft hairs on the back of his head. He had to keep himself from humming in pleasure and Ziva tried to focus on the job as she fought the temptation to do something that might get caught on camera, like kiss him or bury her nose in his neck just to breathe in the familiar scent of her husband that she'd missed so much.

She let her hand drop and he pouted at the loss of contact. "The drug shipment Rob informed Director Vance about came in by boat last night. It was confirmed this morning that the deal was closed by the Reynosa family." One eyebrow rose. "Alejandro Rivera even paid a political visit to the mayor."

Tony snorted. "The Wonder Twins have been busy."

Ziva frowned. "Who?"

He spared her only a glance, choosing to keep his eyes on the computer screen. "Wonder Twins. TV superheroes. They're brother and sister. When they touch rings they activate - form of a waterfall, shape of a dinosaur. That sort of thing."

She blinked, trying to see how that connected to anything, then decided to continue as if the TV tangent hadn't come up. "What do you think they were doing?"

Tony's expression was grim. "Looks like they were mixing business and pleasure."

Ziva tapped her fingers on the desk. "Is killing Gibbs' father business or pleasure?"

"Both." Silence rested between them for a moment, then he took her hand and spoke quietly, unable to wait another minute. "Come with me Ziva."

She followed him without question to a dark, empty Observation. Late at night, few people still haunting the office - the risk of being caught was minimal. Once the door was locked Tony pulled her into a hug. Ziva lay her had on his chest, grasping a handful of shirt and holding on. He let her rest in the security of his arms for a long time before lowering his mouth to hers. Ziva drank in the kiss greedily, feeling every moment of their separation in his touch. Again and again their lips met and melted together, slipping over and between one another as they sought to make up for time that had been lost.

Finally they parted with one last peck, staring into clear green and rich brown eyes. "Let's go home."

It took conscious effort not to walk down the hall with arms around each other's waists and Gibbs appeared while the partners were gathering their things. He went to Ziva first, offering a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Glad you're back Ziver."

Her smile was still only a glimmer. "Me too."

He scrutinized her face, trying to decipher the source of the weariness clinging to her, but couldn't decide which of the many factors was the worst right now. Instead Gibbs turned to Tony. "You stick to her like glue DiNozzo."

"Super glue Boss," Tony chuckled, then backpedaled when he saw Gibbs' expression. "I mean, not like super glue like stuck together literally, but you know, the kind of super glue that-"

Gibbs whacked him and Ziva tried not to laugh. "Quit while you are behind Tony."

He shot her a dirty look and grabbed his coat, letting her walk ahead of him to the elevator. As soon as the doors closed their fingers folded together and Tony and Ziva shared a smile - this was what it felt like to be home.

**NCIS**

Instead of going straight back to the house, the couple swung by Mark and Cassie's to say a brief hello and get their dog. After two weeks away Meira was ecstatic to see them and her excited yips and barks probably woke the kids. She spent the ride back with her head stuck between the front seats, eagerly bestowing sloppy kisses on whoever was close enough. Ziva, who'd missed her furry companion quite a lot on her solo morning runs on the beach, was happy to indulge Meira with a walk around the block. Tony, taking anything that kept him close to his wife, found no hardship in joining them. Thoroughly spoiled with petting and dog biscuits upon their return, Meira retired to her bed carrying her now slightly ragged stuffed bunny and plopped down with a sigh.

Left alone for the moment, Tony slid his arms around Ziva from behind and propped his chin on her shoulder. "Think the nightmares have anything to do with today being the anniversary?"

Her fingers skimmed over his wrist. "I had considered that." She leaned back into his solid warmth. "It is likely." Ziva turned and kissed him, her intent obvious.

He knew she wanted to forget, but Tony couldn't let her do it this way no matter how much his body was screaming at him to give in. "Honey," he breathed onto her lips, "we can't. Not with your nightmares so close. I-I'm so afraid to hurt you, to remind you of the camp." After so many months he was no longer afraid of hurting her physically, but emotionally was another story and he didn't want to be responsible for making it worse.

Ziva shook her head. "Do not push me away Tony." Her voice fell to a whisper. "I just want to lose myself in you."

Tony groaned. "You are so not playing fair."

"Love me neshama, please."

He couldn't handle her begging. She should never have to ask for his affection, but this situation was different. How was he supposed to protect her from herself? "Get the lock," Tony said at last. "Then we'll talk."

But once Tony and Ziva entered their bedroom there was no talking. Despite his concern Tony gave in, but he was very, very careful with her just in case. The contrast between their last night together before she left and this one were glaring, but Ziva couldn't bring herself to care. All she wanted was to be enveloped by her husband's love, to soak in everything she'd been missing since she left. And perhaps by some miracle the demons of her dreams would not be able to get past the cocoon of oneness they now surrounded themselves in.

They savoured that time of being joined together and afterwards no space got between them while Tony drew his fingers over her cooling skin and whispered how lonely and miserable he'd been without her. Thanks to Gibbs the gang hadn't been able to distract him aside from a couple brief conversations with Mark, nor was Meira there to keep him company. Ziva pulled his arms around her. "But you are safe ahava, and I will take that over any other option."

He nuzzled her neck. "Did you miss me?"

She chuckled and rubbed her hand over his smooth cheek - the results of a quick shaving session in the men's bathroom at work when he'd learned she was coming home. "Many times every day," she assured him. "I have grown used to you being always within reach or sight. Rob is a nice man, but he was no replacement for my partner."

Tony made a face and sat up partway. "Nothing like mentioning another guy in our bed to ruin the mood."

Ziva pinched him. "You wanted to know. I believe there was a demand in your last text that I tell you everything I experienced."

He sighed. "Fine. Lay it on me, I can take it. Tall? Dark? Handsome? Young? Prince Charming with a Mercedes? Did his best to win your affections? Need I go on?"

She rolled her eyes. "Shorter than you, taller than me. Brown hair. Decent looking. Early forties. He was charming, yes, and he certainly played it up, but I am not available and he is dedicated to his job. We parted as casual friends."

Tony shook his head. "A single guy does not want to just be friends with a woman who looks like you Ziva." He kissed her gently. "Take it from a man who thought at one point that might've been enough."

Ziva shifted onto her back and looked up into his eyes, where he'd always let her see all the way to his soul. "Do you remember our first kiss?"

The question seemed totally off topic and he tried to feel out where she was going with it, sifting his fingers through her soft hair. "Undercover?"

"No," she whispered. "Our first real kiss."

Tony's mind went back, back, back almost four and a half years to May 13, 2006 and watched Ziva follow him home the night Gibbs abandoned his team, and sit in his livingroom with her hand on his back as he struggled to cope with the immense responsibility that had been thrust upon him without warning.

"_I don't think I can do it Zi. How am I supposed to lead the team? I'm not Gibbs. I can't-"_

_At that point her finger on his lips stopped the flow of self-denigration. "Do not say you cannot Tony. You need to have faith in yourself."_

_He turned a responsibility laden gaze to her. "I've always answered to someone else. What if I can't be in charge?"_

_She ran her hand down his arm, completely serious. "I believe in you."_

_All at once Ziva found herself engulfed in a tight embrace and she shifted onto his lap to make the position more comfortable. How they went from that to falling asleep in each other's arms was a mystery she pondered upon waking up the next morning, stretched out on Tony's couch, her body cradled possessively against his. Tony opened his eyes soon after she stirred and sighed. "Do you have to get up?"_

_He was still the man of last night in need of his partner's support, but he was different now too and Ziva tried to figure out what had changed. "I have no other plans."_

_Exhaling shakily, Tony wet his lips. "I want to kiss you. Is that okay?"_

_Her head tilted slightly. "What made you think you had to ask permission?"_

_His thumb rubbed over her cheekbone. "I'm trying to be a gentleman." Ziva leaned closer and her mouth met his. The shock of connection was like a spark that jumped between them and the kiss quickly grew heated as her hand slid up his neck and his held her face gently. Before they ventured into the forbidden territory of messing with clothing however, Tony broke away and pressed his lips to hers briefly. "I want to be with you Ziva. Not just as your partner and a couple times here and there during the week, but every night after work and all day on weekends. I want you all to myself. I don't want you looking at other guys and wondering about relationships with them because you're the only one I've seen for so long and I want to be that for you. Will you go on a date with me?"_

_Since the main thing keeping them apart had ridden off into the Mexican sunrise early this morning, Ziva was ready to give in to what she wanted - a relationship with her partner, who'd proven himself to be ten times the man she'd expected the day they met. She smiled. "Yes."_

_His eyebrows shot up. "Just like that?"_

"_Just like that," she confirmed._

"_Okay," Tony grinned._

_Ziva lay her head down on his chest and listened to his heart thunder inside. When the beating calmed back to a regular pattern, she lifted her chin and let her lips find his again, smiling onto his skin. "I think I am going to like this kissing thing."_

_That made him laugh and he held her close while rays of bright May morning sun promised not only a beautiful day, but a bright future as well._

"How could I forget?" he asked, pulling himself out of the memory with difficulty. "That was one of the best mornings of my life."

"Have I been a part of many bests for you Tony?"

"Almost all of them." He forced the words out through a tight throat and Ziva cupped his cheek.

"Then stop worrying so much. Rob is not competition."

"Yet," Tony muttered, only half in jest. The way she stared at him made him think he'd finally pushed too hard.

Ziva considered throwing her ring box at him to try and get the point across that her commitment to them could not be swayed, but instead she rolled over in something of a huff and got comfortable under the covers. If she stopped talking, Tony could only argue with the air so long before he felt completely ridiculous. She felt eyes on her a long time, but eventually he lay down behind her, brushing a kiss over her shoulder. She smiled into the darkness and slid her fingers over his. Apology accepted.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday September 22**

No one was more excited to have Tim back than Abby when she found him waiting outside her lab after Gibbs escorted her down in the elevator. "McGee!" she cried, tackling him with a hug that nearly knocked the wind from his lungs. "I'm glad you're okay."

Giving into a desire he usually ignored, Tim held her firmly against his chest, sinking into the welcome she offered. When the forensic scientist finally pulled away and began describing her time without him, McGee had the inexpressible urge to kiss her but knew what a dangerous thought that was. Instead he followed her inside and let the familiar sound of her voice wash over him.

He was the first one in the bullpen and savoured being back when he belonged. Only moments later Tony and Ziva walked off the elevator laughing, the obvious closeness between them like a billboard proclaiming Rule 12 had been broken. Swallowing that particular realization for his own well-being, Tim instead accepted Ziva's hug and Tony's handshake. "Well, well, well," he grinned, "McEskimo, back from the frozen north. Are you thawed out yet?"

McGee rolled his eyes. "Believe it or not Tony, they live in actual houses. Not one igloo in sight."

"I don't believe you," Tony argued. "The last time we were in Canada, it was freezing. Did they give you any of those little donut holes? I bet you're addicted to their nicotine laced coffee now. And what about-"

Gibbs walked in, cutting Tony off. "Got another dead drug dealer. Ziva, take McGee." He handed her a piece of paper and McGee grabbed his things, his smile falling at such a quick return to business as usual. But before they got too far Gibbs nodded at his junior agent. "Welcome back McGee." Which made all the difference. It was nice to be missed.

**NCIS**

Unhappy about proper partnerships being switched up twice in one day, the first thing Tony did back at the office was make tea and grab a mug of coffee, hoping for even a couple minutes alone with his wife. Without an audience the bright face she'd put on for the others was gone, replaced by a fatigue reflecting their broken night of sleep. Another nightmare was almost expected but definitely unwanted and it left him tired and her on edge, although they'd done a pretty good job concealing the aftereffects from their team. So he was surprised to hear her chuckle as he rounded the corner.

"Something funny David?"

She gratefully accepted the steaming cup and smiled her thanks. "Just an email from a friend."

He settled on the edge of her desk, sipping his coffee. "Does this friend have a name?"

Ziva raised an eyebrow at him. "Why do you want to know?"

Some days he really tired of their game. "If it starts with R and rhymes with Bob then I have a vested interest in the answer."

As they were currently alone, Ziva let him look at the email. "It is harmless."

Tony's eyes scanned the lines. "Miss having company...your smile brightened my days...maybe work will bring you back down this way. Fondly, R." He made a noise in his throat. "Zi, he's coming onto you. You're not going to respond, are you?"

Her brow furrowed. "It would be rude to ignore him Tony."

"But...but-"

Ziva stared at him. "I know I am taken. You know I am taken. Why is this bothering you so much?"

"Because he doesn't know that."

"I will not encourage him," she stated. "But perhaps..."

He saw the wheels turning and frowned. "What?"

"You remember what Abby asked you last week?" Tony nodded. It was kind of hard to forget. "It is possible to kill two birds with one shot if we let this play out and our teammates assume what they want about my friend. The pressure would be off us both and you will not have to act as much because the jealousy is real."

He sighed. "I don't like it, but you've got a point. Nothing is more dangerous than a curious Abby."

"I agree."

With a plan set the day continued only to be complicated by Alejandro Rivera's unexpected appearance and subsequent but not subtle enough threat to Abby. Then Mexican Day of the Dead dolls began appearing on cars and Gibbs issued McGee a blistering order to keep Abby safe and get Tony and Ziva to his house when there was no answer from his dad. Thankfully the partners had left only moments before and were easily redirected. Meanwhile Tim had his gun in hand, ushering Abby to his car where they waited for Ducky and Jimmy to be covered by additional agents before leaving.

Despite the heightened threat level Abby was in a good mood when they walked in the door. "I'm glad to be home."

Whether intentionally or on purpose, the slip made something jump in McGee's heart and he was totally unprepared when he turned around after turning locks and Abby kissed him. No ulterior motive or pressure, just one sweet kiss and a slightly shy smile. "Welcome home Timmy." She sailed into the kitchen, leaving a trail of belongings following her, and called back. "I'm cooking tonight. Chicken gumbo. That'll beat the socks off anything they fed you in Canada."

McGee was still trying to process everything and only managed a, "You bet." What had they gotten themselves into?

**NCIS**

Three days after they'd put a second coat on both their room and Ryan's, the new paint smell still lingered despite open windows and fans left on high. Which was why the newlyweds were downstairs on the couch catching some precious time along together before they went to sleep. Once she finished her tea CJ turned to her husband, who was paging through a sports magazine. "Brent?" He looked up and smiled, waiting. She bit her lip. "Will you tell me...about being adopted?"

An awful lot flashed through his eyes as her words sank in and he blew out a breath. "Whoa, guess I should've been expecting that."

She tilted her head. "If it's too painful I'll take the question back."

Brent slid his fingers between hers. "No, it's okay." He leaned back against the cushions. "My first parents died in a car accident when I was six. That sucked. I didn't have any other family to go to, so foster care was the only other option. I can't say as I remember much about that first year, I was pretty much in a fog for all of it. By the time I was eight I ended up in a group home and it was easier to be a loner than try to belong to anyone."

CJ's heart hurt for the loneliness that brief history conveyed and she ran her fingers through his hair, drawing a small smile from him. "Occasionally we went on day trips to do something fun out of the city. The time that stands out was an outing to go fishing. We ended up at this outdoors store called Wilderness Adventure. They were right on the river and they provided all our poles and tackle and bait for free. The owners were super nice and took time to talk to all the kids, which was nice since it's hard to get a lot of individual attention in group homes. For some reason though, they kept coming back to me."

He shrugged. "Maybe because I was quiet and had more patience just to sit and wait than they expected from a ten year old. Whatever the reason, they made me feel special. I was still really surprised though, when they showed up a few weeks later with vouchers for an indoor rock climbing studio so all of us kids could try, and volunteered to help chaperone some weekend. That was neat. I had a pretty good friend named Brian whose bunk was below mine and we had a blast learning how to rock climb. Afterwards, we invited them back for supper and they sat at my table. It doesn't take much to become a hero to a kid and they were mine just from those two meetings, so getting to spend extra time with them was pretty cool."

CJ shifted her position and draped her arm over his shoulder, her other hand moving in a soft caress up and down his arm. "Anyways, they just kept coming back. A few months later they sat down to talk to me about giving them a chance as a foster home. I wasn't sure what to think, my luck so far had been relatively dismal, but I really liked them, so I said yes." His lips curved up at the fond memory. "I was adopted by William and Kathy Pierce just after my eleventh birthday. And though I don't remember my first parents a whole lot now, then it was still important that I kept their last name. My new mom and dad didn't have a problem with that and I got another chance at a happy family."

"Wilderness Adventure, that explains where your love of the outdoors comes from."

He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. "Yeah. It was a great way to grow up - camping trips and hiking and swimming and exploring. Mom and Dad were nature lovers at heart and I learned so much from them."

"I'm kind of surprised you became a teacher," CJ mused, "instead of joining them in that business."

Brent swallowed. "I never planned to be a teacher Kris, but when they died I couldn't handle being around the store anymore, or doing the things they loved. I lived with them two years longer than my first parents and I loved them so much. They left me everything but I didn't want to remember, so I sold it all and picked my major a month later."

She closed her eyes and held him tighter. "I'm sorry beloved, for everything you lost." Surviving two sets of parents seemed too much for a young man to handle.

"Me too." Sometimes, even though the event was almost two decades old, the weight of those losses still hung heavy on his heart. "I miss them. They were really good to me, you know? Treated me like I was their real son. The love they poured into me while I lived with them...it was more than any foster kid had a right to, and I soaked it up like a sponge."

"They loved you the way you now love our son Brent," CJ whispered. "I am so glad they taught you that."

"That's one reason I want to adopt Ryan," Brent shared. "I want him to know he belongs to me, to us. That nothing can ever take him away. That little boy has filled a lot of broken places in my life CJ. Thank you for sharing him with me."

She blinked back the tears. "I wouldn't trust anyone else with him Brent, you know that."

He turned his head to see into her eyes. "Does that mean we can file the paperwork?" He'd wanted to give her some time after the night they talked about Jason, since it was their first disagreement as a married couple.

Joy lit her entire expression and CJ lowered her mouth to his. "Yes."

Brent heaved a sigh of relief. "I want to talk to Ryan first, so he understands. Maybe tomorrow? Then we can go to the courthouse on Friday and get the process started. I want everyone to know I'm his dad Kris, that'll be the second most important thing I'll ever do with my life."

One eyebrow rose. "And the first?"

He cradled her cheek in his hand and kissed her softly. "Loving you."

_That_, CJ thought as she got lost in her husband's touch, _is a very good answer_. No one else had ever made her feel as special and wanted as the man she was blessed enough to have married. Theirs was going to be a very special love story.

**NCIS**

**Thursday September 23**

Two months of fear and worry came to an end with one long burst of automatic gunfire. The plan had worked to perfection - planted information for Alejandro's listening device to catch about Gibbs and his father going to the safe house, the false report of Paloma's death, and one lost son's revenge proving the consequence of such an act. Despite the fact that they'd tried to kill Gibbs and Jackson and threatened the team, Ziva couldn't help but feel compassion for the handcuffed Alejandro who knelt in broken glass and watched his sister die from wounds he inflicted.

The moment brought back unpleasant memories of an eerily similar scene in Gibbs' basement five years ago, so Ziva was glad to be alone with her husband for a few minutes while they waited for the ambulance. He caught her baby finger with his, then adjusted the hold to link all their fingers, squeezing lightly to convey his support. Back at the office there were reports to write and file, a debrief with Director Vance, and finally another meeting of all team Gibbs members in the squadroom. Ducky and Jimmy were released from protection and Jimmy allowed to return home, but the senior ME offered one last dinner at his place first, which Jimmy happily accepted and left to call Breena.

As for the rest of them, Gibbs leveled a stern glare at the guys first and a lesser one at the girls. "Everyone back to their own places tonight. Protection detail is over." Each of them nodded while having no intention of heeding his words. Out of habit Tim walked Abby down to the lab and Gibbs rolled his eyes. In one ear and out the other. His gaze narrowed though when Tony and Ziva got ready to leave together as well. Annoyed, he marched over and grabbed Tony's arm, pulling him away from following Ziva. "You hear what I just said?"

Tony gave him a scathing look and wrenched his arm away. "The nightmares are back Gibbs, I won't leave her alone to deal with them. Besides, I'm her ride home."

He studied the agent's face, his concern clearly visible, and finally gave a quiet nod, letting him go. Tony adjusted his backpack and caught up to Ziva, who was holding the elevator. Her own haunted eyes were all the confirmation Gibbs required to know she needed her partner tonight.

**NCIS**

Things had not gotten any better by the time he got back from walking Meira. Tony found Ziva in their room, where the bed had been pushed against the wall, completely cutting off access to their closet. She was huddled under the covers on his side, staring vacantly into one corner. He took in the change and lifted an eyebrow. "Redecorating?" She didn't respond and he sighed. Not the time for even a lame attempt at humour. Shedding his clothes, Tony located sleepwear draped over a chair and pulled back the blanket, sliding under. He lay there studying his wife and reached over to brush the hair from her face. She started, as she'd been doing a lot the past few days, and he frowned. "What's going on Zi?"

She tugged on his shirt to bring him close, trapping herself between his body and the wall. "I am trying to feel safe."

Those whispered words put all his protective instincts into overdrive and Tony gathered her into his arms, surrounding her as much as possible. "Oh babe, I wish I could take this for you."

Ziva turned her face into his neck and willed herself not to cry. "I know." She shuddered just thinking of all the memories that had been dredged up this week. "Sometimes I wish it too."

Since her desire to keep from tainting him with Somalia was so high, the remark was a telling insight into her state of mind. Out of reassurances, Tony kissed her hair and closed his eyes, praying this part of the nightmare would soon be over.

**NCIS**

The house Gibbs returned to was much quieter than it had been in weeks, only his father puttering around in the kitchen making coffee - no Abby talking his ear off or Tony haggling for a movie genre not set in the Old West. To his amazement he found he missed the commotion. He hadn't realized how empty the place had become. Jackson turned around and offered one of the two mugs to his son. "I'll be heading home tomorrow Leroy. It's time to get back to my store."

Gibbs sipped the steaming brew. "Think I'll go with you."

Surprise showed on Jackson's face. "Sure you can spare the time?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yup. Do what you have to for family. DiNozzo can be in charge for a week."

Jackson walked by and patted his shoulder. "Thank you son, I'd appreciate the help."

Gibbs' phone rang just then and he headed towards the basement before answering. He didn't want his dad getting curious and asking questions. "Gibbs."

"Why do you never just say hello?" Celeste's gentle voice inquired.

He shrugged. "It's usually work."

"Except at nine-thirty every night for the past several weeks."

"Yeah, except that." Gibbs pressed speakerphone and set his phone on the boat, grabbing an awl off the workbench. "Got some good news."

"Oh? What's that?"

"We got Paloma, and her brother. It's over."

"Really? Jethro, that's wonderful!"

"Yeah."

He didn't sound convinced and she frowned. "What's wrong?"

Gibbs sighed. "Two months. I don't think she ever had anyone watching us after that incident with my dad. But she made us afraid and I hate that."

"Being scared made you cautious, it kept you and your team alive and you won this round. That's got to be worth something."

He rubbed his face. "It is." Though it would take awhile for his pride to stop stinging.

Celeste scratched behind Lexie's ear. "Does that mean Josh can go home now? I'm quite ready to have my freedom of movement back."

"I'll talk to him right after this," Gibbs conceded. "At least I know you're safe."

"Well I won't miss having to think about every move I make or place I go. No more looking over my shoulder will be a treat. Although," she mused sadly, "I suppose that means this is our last phone call."

"Been thinking about that," he put in. "Kinda got used to hearing from you."

"Me too."

Gibbs hesitated. "Maybe we could...keep it up?"

There was relief in Celeste's voice. "I'd like that." She wasn't ready for the time they spent together to be up. Not until this summer and speaking every day had Celeste truly realized how much she missed her ex-husband. "When?"

"Once a week," Gibbs suggested. "Whatever day works best. We can take turns calling."

Not wanting to rush him she agreed and the conversation was over shortly after. The next number he dialed belonged to Josh. "Reiger."

"Stand down Marine. We're all clear."

"Threat's been neutralized?"

"Permanently," Gibbs confirmed grimly. "Thanks for keeping her safe."

"Glad to do it." Josh adjusted his ballcap. "Any chance I get to hear the story behind this lady Gunny? She certainly is a fascinating woman."

"Don't get attached," he snarled.

His friend laughed. "Happily married Gibbs, remember? I know better than to do more than just appreciate meeting her."

"Good. Take care of yourself Josh."

"You too Gunny. Semper Fi."

"Oo-rah," Gibbs replied, hanging up. He eased down onto a sawhorse and rubbed his face. It had been one long summer.

Reply:

_Christie (MIT47) - Well, I kind of owed you guys for the time off I took. Me too. That ended up being a pretty sweet moment for A&amp;M. I'm always looking for a way to sneak them in here and there. I liked them before I liked Tiva. It took me forever to come around to T&amp;Z as a couple, but then I fell in love. There is a reason for the nightmares that no one has guessed yet. haha...well, Rob pretty much is Ray, just with a name and description change. I really can't change the character since I'm following canon. No, I'd heard they were trying to get a new spin off started, which seemed odd since NCIS Red didn't go last year and the original is struggling this year. I don't know much about NO, but I like it just because Abby's from there. Silly, huh? Thanks for the tip. And I hope you enjoyed the beginning of Part 5. It's going to be another crazy ride. Thanks for the loyalty and your lovely reviews Christie, I appreciate everything :) Have a great week! ~Aliyah_


	2. 8x1 The Spider and The Fly 2

_A/N: Since I've been told it is the best present I could give, I'd like to dedicate S8 to my dear friend chellemaria who has stuck with me through thick and thin and been the best encourager and kindred spirit a girl could ever ask for :) Thank you for everything. I love you :)_

_*peeks around a corner and waves* Hi guys! I bet some of you thought I was never coming back but here I am, at last, with a new chapter for MIT. There are, however, some conditions on my return. The first is that this will not yet be a regular thing. I am still desperately trying to get details sorted out for the rest of the story and while I'm much closer than I was when I started, I am unfortunately not finished yet. The second is that I do have one other chapter that is ready to post, but I'm going to hold it back for at least a couple weeks in an attempt to spread things out until I'm ready to return to a consistent posting schedule. I just thought it wasn't fair to keep you all waiting forever. I really am so sorry for the delay, although that's not necessarily a strong enough word for five months of being away, and I do hope that a few people still remember me and this story. I promise you there is so much more to come and I look forward to sharing everything, I just need your patience for awhile longer. Thank you for the comments and questions I've received over this hiatus and I can't wait to hear what you think of this new chapter. Love to all! ~Aliyah_

**Friday September 24**

Tony jerked awake to the sound of his cellphone ringtone and was simultaneously aware of the sleeping ninja sprawled across his chest, and the fact that it was 0630 and they'd missed their alarm. With the nightstands now halfway across the room, Tony realized he had no choice but to move Ziva, which he hated to do since she'd only been asleep for a couple hours due to Somalia intruding on her rest again. Whispering an apology, he shifted her off of him and rolled over, jumping up and grabbing his phone just before the final ring ended.

"DiNozzo," he answered, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"You're in charge," Gibbs announced.

Tony blinked. "I'm what?"

"SAIC until I get back."

"From where?"

Gibbs was silent a moment. "Going with my dad. Store needs a lot of work."

"Okay." Tony still felt a little confused, but it would be nice not to have to be so careful for a few days. "Have a good time."

Gibbs grunted and was about to hang up when he thought of something. "How's Ziva?"

Tony sighed. "Don't ask Boss."

"You watch her six DiNozzo. This is when partners matter most."

"Yeah, got that," he muttered.

Gibbs nodded and closed his phone. There really wasn't anything else to say.

Tony stretched out across the bed and worked his fingers into Ziva's hair. "Babe?"

"Mmm." She snuggled into the pillow and didn't wake up.

If only he could give her the day off to sleep, but being alone wouldn't help right now. "Zi? C'mon honey, it's time to go." His hand drifted down her back while he pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

Ziva slowly opened her eyes, the depth of pain in them making him want to cry. "Tony."

She said his name like a plea and Tony cupped her cheek, bringing their lips together. The soft caress quickly became more as two pools of emotion were poured together and it took everything he had to break away. "I'm so sorry Zi, we can't. We missed the alarm, we're going to be late."

With the weight of another continent dragging her down Ziva pushed herself into a sitting position and gazed at the dresser as if clothes might magically appear out of it so she didn't have to move. Trying to help, Tony dug through the neat piles and tossed a pair of cargo pants and a casual comfy sweater her direction. Bra, underwear, and socks followed and she got dressed at half the speed he did. In the kitchen Tony snagged half a bagel for his breakfast and a glass of juice for Ziva knowing she wouldn't feel like eating, then returned with that and a brush. Smiling faintly, she drank while he rushed through braiding her hair, a skill he'd perfected over the last couple months. Ziva passed him an elastic off her wrist and caught his hand, squeezing to say 'thank you' before Tony helped her up and they hurried out the door.

Ziva's watch read 0728 by the time they stepped off the elevator, so it came as a surprise that they were the first ones in the bullpen. McGee stumbled in five minutes later, already trying to explain. "Sorry Boss, I-" then he looked over and realized Gibbs wasn't there.

Tony's eyebrows rose with interest. "You what, McTardy?"

McGee chuckled nervously. "Uh...Abby wouldn't go home last night, something about separation anxiety. Getting out of the apartment this morning took longer than usual."

"Really?" The lilt in his voice paired with gleaming green eyes spelled trouble for Tim.

"Never mind," McGee mumbled, getting to work.

All was quiet in the area for almost an hour, but finally McGee frowned. "Boss is kinda late."

"I am not," Tony retorted, without looking up from the case he was reviewing.

McGee rolled his eyes. "I don't mean the person in charge because Gibbs isn't in the room."

"Neither do I." He leaned back in his chair, folded his arms behind his head, and grinned delightedly. "You're looking at your temporary team leader."

The probie's gaze studied Tony warily. "How temporary?"

"Until our beloved silver haired fox is done helping the Gibbs' family patriarch get his store back up and running." He shrugged. "Could be a week, maybe two. Heck, even a whole month! With Gibbs one never knows."

McGee sighed heavily. "So that means..."

"Campfires," Tony inserted gleefully.

"And a demand that..."

"I be addressed as 'Boss'? Absolutely."

"Including taking on all his habits?" Last time the amusing aspect of that trait wore off fast.

"Never can tell," Tony replied vaguely. "Now, back to work McInquisitive. If we get our desks cleared by the end of the day, I can easily be talked into a reasonable dismissal time."

That was the best news he'd heard in days. "On it Boss," McGee blurted without thinking, then groaned internally when he could see Tony puff up in his peripheral vision. It was going to be an unbearable couple of weeks.

**NCIS**

It was during a sporadic IM conversation with Abby that McGee's gaze strayed across the bullpen. Dark patches like bruises coloured the skin under Ziva's eyes, her shoulders sagged forward so unlike her usual impeccable posture, and her concentration was completely scattered, as evidenced by the few letter she typed at a time, pausing often as if she'd lost her train of thought. He sighed. They didn't have to say anything for him to know her nightmares were attacking full force during this anniversary week of her rescue. And he was sure, even though neither would confirm the detail should the question be posed, that Tony was probably sleeping on his partner's couch or maybe even in her bed so he could be there when the terror propelled her into wakefulness.

Sighing, Tim tapped out a quick message to his best friend_. Ziva's having a rough week. I wish there was something we could do to help_.

Only a handful of minutes later the back elevator dinged and Abby's pigtails peeked around the partition. She turned sad eyes on her counterpart before walking very quietly over to their teammate's desk. "Ziva?"

The Israeli looked up. "Hello Abby. Did you need something?"

"If you're experimenting with super glue again, Agent McGee volunteers to be your assistant," Tony put in without being asked, staying focused on his stack of paperwork to avoid seeing their expressions.

Inwardly McGee groaned. Last time it had taken three bottles of nail polish remover to get the mess off the floor, their shoes, and his hands when her mixture accidentally tipped and he tried to save it. His fingers throbbed for a week while the skin grew back. But knowing the reason for her visit, he felt the tiniest bit of relief that a repeat was not likely. Today at least.

"Actually Ziva," Abby played with a black braid, "I was wondering if..." She glanced at the guys and grabbed Ziva's hand. "Come with me."

Obligingly Ziva let herself be pulled to the elevator and once inside Abby shut it down. "I didn't want to say it back there and embarrass you, but...do you need a hug?"

Ziva's heart melted. "Yes," she answered quietly, "a hug would be lovely."

Far from her usual exuberant manner, Abby enclosed her friend in a gentle embrace. Letting herself be held, Ziva rested her head on Abby's shoulder and for a long time the two women stayed that way. Finally releasing her, Abby's eyes searched out the shadows and exhaustion etched into Ziva's face. "Are they really bad?"

Ruining Tony's ability not to know was already two people too many who were aware of the details, Ziva would not do it again. To reply she simply nodded and Abby's brow furrowed. "What can I do?"

Shaking her head sadly, Ziva sighed. "Nothing I'm afraid. I only need to survive this latest round. Waiting them out is the sole option."

Abby bit her lip. "Does Tony...does he help Ziva?"

The question walked a knife's blade and caution in responding was key. "Having someone close to remind me what I see is no longer real..." She turned her anniversary ring with one thumb and shrugged. "He tries Abby."

"He loves you, you know," the girl confided as if it was a great secret.

"And I love him," Ziva admitted after a brief pause, "but Gibbs will never change his mind. Being partners...at least we are together. That is better than not at all."

So many things flew through Abby's wide eyes. "If you were on separate teams..."

Ziva shook her head against the possibility. "This is not just a team, we are a family. Being split up is not something I am prepared for."

Tears gathered as Abby absorbed the implications. "Oh Ziva."

Though she felt a little bad about the details being omitted, everything else was pure truth. "I know." She rolled her shoulders. "Please keep this to yourself."

Abby threw her arms around her friend. "Don't give up."

Ziva patted her back. "Thank you Abby. I should go now." She flipped the switch up and stepped out when the doors opened. "Have a good day."

Instead of returning to her desk, Ziva went to the breakroom for tea and stood at the counter, idly dipping the white mesh bag into hot water and pulling it out over and over as she started towards the window. She hadn't moved by the time Tony wandered in several minutes later. "You're going to need a lot of sugar to combat how strong that is by now," he commented after watching her for a bit.

Ziva jumped and looked down at her cup. Frowning, she dumped it in the sink and started over. Less concerned about being careful with Gibbs gone, Tony moved closer and set his hands on her shoulders, pushing the braid aside to kiss her neck. "Last night still bothering you?" She didn't answer and he gently kneaded tense muscles.

"Abby knows we love each other." Ziva spoke quietly and not until her drink was properly doctored.

His eyebrows rose. "That's what she wanted to talk to you about?"

"No," Ziva clarified, "she wanted to give me a hug. The rest just...came up."

"What did you say?"

She leaned back into him and his arms slid around her waist, risky behaviour for a room with no doors. "That we can do nothing about it because of Gibbs and I refuse to separate the family." Ziva sighed. "We are on unstable ground now ahava, as these details slip."

"Shaky ground," he corrected automatically, thoughts racing. "We knew the truth would be impossible to hide forever."

"I asked her not to say anything. But I do not know how long that will last."

"This is a pretty important revelation honey. I think we can trust her."

"Time will tell." Ziva sipped her tea and turned around. "I love these moments with you yakiri, but I think we should get back to work."

Tony rubbed her Star of David pendant between his thumb and finger. _Couldn't live without you_. "Don't forget, okay?" He tapped the emerald and rose gold anniversary ring. _You will always be my love_. "If the worst happens, we'll do it together Zi. Always you and me, that's a promise." Which he sealed by claiming her lips for an all too fleeting moment.

Her fingers snaked up to wrap around the thin but strong chain she'd given him for the same anniversary, with an extra link that reminded of her love in both languages they spoke. "I know. Ti amo."

He grinned. "Ani ohev atach." One hand gestured to the hallway. "After you, mia bella."

A smile teased her lips and Ziva went first, grateful now more than ever for this man, her husband.

**NCIS**

Force of habit found McGee stepping out of the elevator at Lab level without recalling exactly how he got from his desk to that floor. Shaking his head at himself, Tim walked in the door and watched Abby gather her things from the office and fridge. She smiled brightly at him. "Ready to go?"

His brow furrowed. "Protection detail's over Abby."

Her face fell. "Oh. Right." Green eyes darted nervously around the room. "I guess I just got used to the routine."

It made sense. Leaving together and spending evenings in each other's company had been their normal for two whole months, going back to the way things used to be would feel odd for awhile. "Yeah, I know."

Abby fingered one pigtail. "What about a compromise?"

Interest sparked through Tim's expression. "I'm listening."

"I'll go back to my own apartment tonight only if you agree to bring back weekly movie nights." It was a long held tradition between them, something that rose and fell with the circumstance and tides of their undefinable relationship, and she was ready to start looking for a way back into her best friend's life as something more than just his friend.

"Done," he agreed immediately. "At your place or mine?"

"Switch every other week."

"Works for me." McGee held out his arm. "And since your car hasn't moved from its spot since the end of July, I guess I'm your ride home."

If only home could be where she'd considered it for the duration of this protection detail, but for now she'd have to reacquaint herself with the gothic atmosphere of her apartment and the handmade coffin that served as her bed and try to be content. Something she'd broken seven years ago would not be easy to repair, but for the first time in so long Abby hoped it could be possible. Tim was the only man she could even think of giving her heart to for good. Above all things, she knew he would do a better job at taking care of hers than she'd done with his so long ago.

**NCIS**

**Saturday September 25**

Ziva woke up in a cold sweat, the desert images that had dragged her out of sleep fading as her eyes focused and took in her familiar bedroom and the shape of her husband laying only inches away. She leaned her elbows on pulled up knees and rested her head in her hands, damp tangled curls spilling over her fingers. Six days. It had been six days and nothing was working. Wanting to cry but feeling like it would be wasted effort, Ziva got up and padded softly into the kitchen, bare feet hardly making a noise on the floor. Tony stirred when her weight left the bed, but to her surprise didn't wake. Figuring at least one of them ought to get a good night's sleep, she made tea quietly and carried the china mug back to their room.

Finding her favourite blanket on the overflowing closet shelf, she slid the door closed and lay down flat on the floor, pushing her mug midway underneath against the wall. From her cushion Meira watched, curious, and Ziva spared her a single pat before sliding under herself, bringing the blanket with her. It was a throwback to her coping mechanism for not feeling safe as a child. All her favourite things would get relocated beneath her bed, then she and her special blanket curled up in the corner so she was totally protected on three sides, the bed above, the floor below, and the blanket covering even her toes, and with only one direction to watch one for hidden dangers.

Ziva got comfortable and slowly sipped her tea, trying to relax. A few minutes later Tony's head peered over the edge of the bed and she couldn't help but think how funny he looked upside down. "Ziva," he groaned, "why are you under the bed?"

She blinked solemnly into the mug. "It is the only thing I have not tried."

Tony's face disappeared and she heard a sigh, then the creak of the bed as he climbed out. A minute later the space at the end of the bed was covered, then the long side looking into the room. His footsteps walked away and there was a sound she couldn't identify, first crinkly and then metallic, and finally he came back. The blanket lifted and he pushed a sleeping bag ahead of him, placed a bowl of chips in front of her, and brought his own covering in after. Tony unzipped the sleeping bag and patted it. "Softer than the floor."

She complied only as far as lining up the corner with where she was and tucking herself back into it. Tony nudged the bowl closer and clicked on the flashlight she hadn't noticed. "I'm gonna take a wild guess and say ghost stories shouldn't be the fare at 0130?"

Ziva couldn't quite manage a whole smile. "You need a campfire for ghost stories."

Tony nodded thoughtfully. "You're right, of course. So, is it Childhood Mischief for $200, Junior High Mishaps for $400, High School Blunders for $600, College Faux Pas for $800, or the all important Most Embarrassing Moments Ever for $1000?"

Only someone who loved her beyond all rationale would play Life Experiences Jeopardy with her when he'd rather be sleeping. "I will take Childhood Mischief for $200 Anthony."

"Will you go first, or should I?"

Ziva hugged the pillow he'd thought to bring. "Your stories are better at making me forget."

"Okay then." For the next three hours Tony pulled out and elaborated on every childhood incident he could remember, borrowing from some of his friends and even making up a few until she called him on it. They got closer with each telling and he kept hold of her hand, gently rubbing his thumb over her skin, trying to impart the depth of his love in one simple act and hoping to help her relax. They both fell asleep from exhaustion somewhere before dawn and when Meira poked her head under the blanket they were cuddled together, as always finding a safe haven in the same place their hearts had found a home. That morning their dog let herself out and for a time the couple just rested in their love.

**NCIS**

It occurred to Tony at a random moment while he and Ziva walked to the diner Saturday evening that it was a good thing they'd taken advantage of her willingness that first night back, because sex hadn't even been an option anytime since. While he had no intention of pushing the issue, recognizing how much stress they'd endured over the week gave him an idea. But he kept it to himself for the time being. Ziva smiled at him and he rubbed his thumb over her engagement ring. They'd been taking every opportunity to wear them since her return, after work each night instead of just on weekends.

A bell jingled over the door when they walked in and Tony waved at the owner. "Hi Travis."

He leaned over the counter and grinned. "DiNozzos, where've you been? I haven't seen you guys in weeks."

The couple exchanged glances and settled on red vinyl stools. "Things got pretty crazy at work. We were both sent out of town."

Travis gestured towards the jukebox. "Come to take the old girl for a spin?"

Ziva folded her fingers together. "We came for sundaes actually, hot fudge. Tony swears yours are the best."

"Is that doubt I hear?" the man asked incredulously. "Well you just wait lady and prepare to be amazed." Putting on a show for his customers, Travis got fancy with the ice cream, even tossing a scoop over his shoulder and catching it in the dish. Hot fudge was drizzled generously over it with a flourish, then he twirled the whipped cream canisters like they were six shooters and squeezed a nice dollop on each. Sliding them across to his clapping audience and presenting two spoons, Travis eyed Ziva. "Go ahead."

One bite had her eyes closing in pleasure and she dug in for a second. Tony chuckled. "I'd say you've proved your point."

Ziva smiled sweetly. "I will not doubt you next time."

"See that you don't," Travis ordered sternly, though the twinkle in his eyes gave him away, and he tucked a towel into his apron, grabbing two plates that had just come out to deliver to a corner table.

"Worth the walk babe?"

She licked ice cream slowly off her spoon. "We should do this more often."

Tony shrugged. "Fine by me. Not like any of it has time to stick to you anyways."

Ziva squinted at him. "Was that a veiled compliment about my weight, or a cut?"

His eyes widened. "Dig. And no, I value my life more than that, thank you." She didn't look convinced, so he slid his arm around her waist and bent his head close. "Zi, there is nothing wrong with your weight. Last time I checked you were still at least five pounds below normal. I have never once thought anything negative about your appearance and after spending months coaxing you to eat a full meal, I'll buy you ice cream every day if that's what you want."

Leaning into him, Ziva sighed. "You are not in trouble. And I appreciate the offer, but it is nice for a treat once in awhile. Besides, Duke would never let me live it down."

Tony kissed her cheek. "Who says we have to tell the warden about frequency of dessert consumption?"

She wrinkled her nose and sat up, scrutinized the melting concoction. "I think I will go for a run tonight."

He huffed. "Please do not start being number obsessed. I'm sorry."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "It is not for exercise, it is for stress relief. Meira and I have not been out for awhile. We are in need of some girl time."

"You owe me a kiss when you get back."

She fluttered her eyelashes. "And why is that?"

"Because you're abandoning me to watch _Paycheck_ by myself."

Her mouth opened slightly. "You would watch it without me?" As one of Tony's favourite movies, it had become tradition to enjoy that one together.

He affected a nonchalant air. "You're the one who decided that running was more fun than hanging out with your husband."

Ziva pressed her lips together and considered this new information. She had been planning to go for an hour or more, but Tony could be very good at bribery when he wanted. "Perhaps just a short run. You could shower while I'm gone and we can watch the movie when I get back."

He swirled his spoon around in the soupy, brownish mixture. "Define short."

"Half an hour?" she offered.

Tony sighed. "Okay. But only if we share the shower, then watch a movie."

A sly smile slid over her lips and Ziva was amazed that she could feel playful even in the wake of a string of awful nights. "Is that the deal crasher?"

"Non-negotiable."

"Very well." Her eyebrows rose with interest. "But what will you do while we are out?"

His trademark half-grin appeared. "That, Mrs. DiNozzo, is for me to know and you to find out."

Thirty-two minutes after Ziva and Meira ran out the front door, Tony was pulling his wife under the warm falling drops in their shower. With the water running over them he brought his mouth to hers and possessed her lips with a passion he'd pushed to the back burner all week. Thoughts of Somalia were far from her mind as Ziva indulged his exploration, tilting her head to better accommodate her husband's kisses. A single taste of her was not enough and Tony sought Ziva's lips again and again, conveying love and desire but not pushing for anything more than just a simple exchange of caresses and the feel of her wet naked body pressed against his.

The heat of the water had lessened considerably by the time they parted, but the smile on Ziva's face gave Tony hope that no pressure intimacy had been the right choice. Taking the time to get clean, the couple exchanged favours in the washing of hair and backs, and afterwards Tony wrapped her in a warm towel and took her to their room, gesturing to the purple and pink sheep pyjama bottoms he'd laid out for her. Ziva laughed at the pants, something that had been more joke than anything else when she and Abby went shopping several years ago. The matching shirt had a night scene with a field of sleeping sheep on it, and overtop she claimed one of Tony's hoodies, then happily followed him out to the livingroom and snuggled with him on the couch for the next two hours.

When the credits rolled after an unexpected happy ending, Tony tugged on a curl. "Got a suggestion Zi and I really need you not to take it the wrong way." Prefacing his words like that got her attention and she simply waited to hear what he had to say. "I know this week has totally sucked for sleep and though you've been more relaxed today, you're still subconsciously carrying the tension in your body. Would you...let me give you a massage tonight? Not to start anything, not in exchange for intimacy, I promise," he hastened to assure her, "but just to try and calm you down before it's time for bed."

Ziva touched his cheek. "Do you think I would not trust you ahava? I can tell when you are sincere, when there are no ulterior motives. That is what I see in your eyes."

He rested his forehead on hers. "You've been jumpy since you got back sweetheart, and not always giving me the impression that my hands would be welcome on you. I'm just trying to handle this the right way."

She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry Tony. I am not trying to punish you. My control over my reactions this week has been almost non-existent. But I didn't realize that was how you were seeing things. Forgive me?"

His lips graced her palm. "Nothing to forgive," he whispered hoarsely. "Is that a yes?"

Already anticipating his talent in that area, Ziva nodded. She walked ahead of him to the bedroom and pulled off both top layers. Tony chewed on his lip, then pointed. "The bra has to go too babe, but I won't look." He listened for it to land on the floor, then heard her stretch out on the bed where he'd already spread a large, soft towel. "I found those massage oils in a basket underneath the sink. We haven't used them in awhile."

With her head laying inside her arms, Ziva kept her eyes shut. "Lavender is supposed to help with sleeping and relaxing, but is there any of the jasmine left? It would remind me of home."

It was one of the first times she'd mentioned Israel since becoming a citizen of the United States, so Tony overlooked the sting. There had to be a balance between the land of her birth and the country she'd chosen. He found the right container. "Yup, lots. Are you ready for this?"

"I am looking forward to it," she answered drowsily.

She'd already lain with her head facing the bottom of the bed and twisted her hair up in a clip to keep it out of the way, so he sat down on the chair he'd positioned there and poured some oil into his hands, rubbing them together to warm it before spreading the viscous liquid over her back. Using his thumbs, he pressed down starting at the base of her neck and spread outwards across her shoulders. Though she relaxed completely at his touch, Tony could feel the tension coiled in her muscles and bent to kiss her cheek while he had the element of surprise, breathing a Hebrew phrase supplied by Aunt Nettie in her ear. The corners of her lips curved up and she started to disagree but he shushed her.

"Stop arguing with my opinion when it's in your favour Mrs. DiNozzo." He continued to slide his thumbs along the outside of her spine. "You're really not supposed to talk during a massage."

"You started it," she argued mildly, causing a roll of his eyes that she couldn't see.

Focusing on his task, Tony enjoyed the smooth glide of his hands over her skin and rubbed up and down both sides of her back in opposite directions using long, sweeping strokes, relieved to feel the muscles giving up some of their stiffness. When he'd repeated the pattern enough to really get a sense of where his efforts needed to be concentrated, he moved to the side of the bed and started at her neck again, stretching the muscles in her shoulder to the side and following the natural curve of her body as he worked his way down the muscle, then pushed his thumbs more firmly into the tissue when he came back up. Ziva shifted a little so he eased off, writing ILY on her skin in apology.

His palms swept over her back in broad motions up and down, getting into slightly less safe territory when tracing the line of her hip, and kneaded up to work through that muscle. But he behaved admirably, keeping his attention on the reason for the massage rather than what else he could do while she was half-naked and totally trusting. That in itself was why he gave that area no excessive consideration and moved onto the next step - he wouldn't give her reason to think her trust had been misplaced. Sliding his thumbs together up the muscles he'd just been addressing, Tony followed the motion all the way to her neck, using just one hand as he traced the vertebrae into her hairline.

"That feels nice," Ziva murmured, fighting sleep. If she gave in now her poor husband would end up spending the night on the couch because she was taking over a space they normally shared and she preferred to have him close.

"I'm glad to hear it." Tony repeated the movement one more time before switching to her other side and going over the whole process again, slowly, his reward in the release of stress as it practically oozed out of her with each continued sweep of his hands and the gentle pressure applied. Going back to the base of her spine, he set his hands on her hips and pulled his thumbs together. Where they met in the middle at her spine, he ran them up both sides right to her neck, mirroring the way the massage had begun. He moved his hands in circles up and down the expanse of her skin, stopping to knead her shoulders and neck where she tended to carry all her tension, and finished it off by pulling his hands one after another down the center of her back and back up, spreading over all the muscles one last time.

Then he instructed his wife to stay put and came back a minute later with a hot towel that he placed on her back to complete the relaxation experience. Once the heat dissipated, he patted her skin to remove excess oil, washed his hands, and joined her on the bed, nudging her over a bit so there was room to lay beside her. Tony freed her hair from the clip and pushed the unruly curls to one side. "Well?"

Ziva cracked one eye open. "Even better than advertised. I feel like a puddle of jelly."

He chuckled. "I think you mean jello. And I hope that's a good thing."

She brushed her fingers over his face, smiling genuinely. "Very good. Toda raba ahava, you have not lost your touch."

Tony captured her hand and kept it against his cheek. "I don't ever plan to, not with you to practice on anytime I like."

Her brow furrowed. "I would like to return the favour."

"But you're ready to flake out on me now and a raincheck for another night would be better, right?" he finished her unspoken thought.

"It sounds selfish when you say it out loud."

Tony shot that opinion down. "I'll take a raincheck Zi, with no negative feelings of being overlooked. Tonight was just about you."

She sighed. "It has only been about me. For the last year everything has been about me. I am ready to stop being the needy one in this relationship!"

"Hey." He rubbed her back soothingly. "You're going to undo all my hard work if you get upset. Take it easy honey. Don't you know I like doing things for you?"

Ziva huffed. "You do entirely too much! When is it my turn to be what you need?"

Tony chuckled. "I have some ideas about that, when we get out of this storm. I seem to recall a few promises about my birthday and making it up to me?"

Remembrance flickered in her gaze, along with a slight blush chased away too fast for him to enjoy it. "As soon as I-we sleep through the night, I will do anything you want."

"Be careful what you say Zi, my creativity knows very few limits."

She caught his bottom lip between hers, easily convincing him to drop the teasing in favour of a little pre-bedtime making out. But considering she was without a shirt and he hadn't touched her in a less than innocent manner all week, that particular enjoyment had to be cut short lest he give into temptation. Blowing out a breath, Tony tugged the pyjama top over her head and nestled his head into her neck. "Later babe, when I'm a whole lot less concerned about keeping my hands to myself."

"I'll hold you to that," she whispered, and they got up to clear off the bed and brush their teeth. He was curled around her to fall asleep, pretty proud of himself for the relaxed, content state she was in, absolutely certain that tonight would be peaceful.

**NCIS**

**Sunday September 26**

His bubble was burst at 0300 when Meira's whines woke him and Tony didn't even get a chance to wonder how he'd gotten so far away from his wife before he rolled over and registered the scene on the other side of the bed. Meira was not only awake, but curled up beside Ziva, her body pressed tightly against that of her mistress, her muzzle resting on Ziva's shoulder. He blinked and raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. "You're not supposed to be on the bed." Their pet stared back unrepentantly and Tony sighed. "But I guess this once won't hurt anything. Especially if it makes a difference for Zi." She was as uneasy and restless now as she had been calm and soothed several hours before. He rubbed his face, wishing this whole week was a bad dream. "See if you can help her girl, I certainly haven't had any luck."

Ziva was crying in her sleep, twitching and jerking occasionally, and Tony longed for the oblivion that had existed before he'd dragged the truth from her about her treatment in the camp, so he wouldn't have a mind running rampant with all the possible things she could be remembering. He would give anything to make this better for her. Scooting closer, he ran a hand lightly down her back, wondering if he should even wake her when this nightmare wasn't as violent as the others. It wasn't restful, but at least she was sleeping. The tears he glimpsed on her face were his undoing, however, and he slid right up behind her, looping an arm over her waist to restrain her arms in case she came out of it flailing.

"Zi? Wake up honey, please." Meira observed the process solemnly, tentatively licking Ziva's cheek and erasing a few salty tracks. Tony risked nuzzling her neck and kissing behind her ear, hoping she'd recognize his touch out of whatever horrors she currently faced. Then their usually placid dog barked and Ziva startled awake, utterly confused to be confronted with a concerned ball of fur right in her face.

"Meira? Lama at po?" _Why are you here?_

"I think she was worried about you," he filled in. "She doesn't like it when you cry." He rubbed his hand down her arm, folding their fingers together when he got to the bottom. "Neither do I."

Ziva's eyebrows drew together. "Ani bekhi?" _I was crying?_

Tony wrinkled his nose. "I don't know that word, but I can make a safe guess. Yeah, you were." He drew his fingers over her cheek and she did the same, seeming surprised when they came away wet. "What was the dream about?"

She shook her head. "I don't remember."

He kissed the back of her hand. "You can tell me babe, I won't react." Or rather, he'd try really hard not to, but sometimes that required a more monumental effort than he was capable of.

"No," Ziva repeated, "really. I do not remember. I felt...alone, and afraid. It was all darkness. If there was a memory, it was gone before I opened my eyes."

That was a relief. One less thing for both of them to try and forget. "I'd rather it always be that way." He swallowed. "You know you're not alone though, right? There's two of us here that love you very much, and a bunch of others that don't get the privilege of being so close."

She leaned back into him. "I know yakiri, and I am always grateful."

Her hand drifted over to settle on Meira's soft coat. "And what are you doing on our bed bat yafa? Yours is on the floor." The puppy eyes were out in full force and Ziva chuckled. "That is a very good try and I thank you for being here, but it is time to go back to bed." She pointed to the round cushion nearby with a body sized indent in the center. "L'makom." _To your place._ The dog studied her with a dark, soulful gaze and they engaged in a brief battle of wills before Meira finally jumped down and plodded over to her bed. She sat there staring at Ziva and the latter arched an eyebrow. "Artzah." _Lay down._ With a huff she did as told and the dark haired woman smiled. "Kelev tov." _Good dog._

Tony put his arms around her. "She listens really well to you."

"That is because I mean business. You can be a pullover sometimes, when you think she is being cute."

He lay back down, determined to keep her close this time. "Pushover. But I excuse all language mistakes between 2359 and 0600."

"Very kind." Ziva yawned and rolled over, turning her face into his shirt. "Boker tov."

Tony groaned. "I hope not."

Her fingers skated lightly over his chest. "Go to sleep ahuvati. I will as well."

"You're okay?"

She nodded slightly, her cheek rubbing on the material. "For now."

That wasn't exactly comforting but he'd take what he could get. With a final kiss dropped on her hair, Tony closed his eyes and let sleep take him again. Maybe this time it would last.

**NCIS**

As soon as Ziva stepped out of the car she was swarmed by all three kids wanting their hugs. "Aunt Ziva! We missed you! Did you go to DisneyWorld?" McKenna wanted to know.

"Uncle Tony was lonely without you," Alec confided.

"Are you back for good?" Ryan asked.

Ziva wrapped her arms around them, her heat swelling at the welcome. "It is nice to be missed McKenna, thank you. And no, I did not go to DisneyWorld, I had to work. Perhaps Uncle Tony will take me one day." She cupped Alec's cheek. "I was lonely without him too. Married people are not meant to be apart."

"That's what Dad says," the boy shared.

"I hope I am back for good Ryan, but sometimes the work Uncle Tony and I do takes us away. However, I am very happy to be home."

"Ahem." Tony stood to the side with hands on his hips. "What am I guys? Chopped liver?"

Ziva chuckled. "Ma ani, ez?" _Literally, What am I, a goat? For protesting unfair treatment._

He stuck his tongue out at her for trying to best him and the kids exchanged glances and ran over, tackling him to the ground and tickling him mercilessly.

"Help! Help!" Tony yelled, squirming and jerking and trying to get them back. "Ziva, do something, quick!" She stood and watched, laughter bubbling in her throat. "Mark! Swish! Help!"

Rolling their eyes at his theatrics, the two dads walked calmly over and each hooked an arm around a small waist. "Hey!" they protested. "Let go!" Tony lay still, trying to catch his breath.

"Three against one is unfair odds amigos." Brent and Mark set Ryan, Alec, and McKenna down.

Brent hauled Tony to his feet and grinned at the kids. "Now it's our turn." Their eyes widened and they took off, shrieking and yelling. The men gave chase and soon had all three begging for mercy. Then they collapsed on the grass, soaking in the sunshine, each with a child cuddled against their chest. It was such a cute scene that Cassie had to take a picture and Ziva looked on, wondering if two and a half years was too long to wait on trying for their own baby. Perhaps they would have to talk again when they had saved enough for one round of IVF. But if the first failed and they had to endure another year in that disappointment, Ziva wasn't sure she could handle the weight. No, they would have to wait. Patience was a virtue, but no one ever said it was easy.

Everyone was having so much fun that the start of an actual basketball game was quite delayed, but once on the familiar turf of the court all six guys put on an impressive show - running and jumping and shooting and blocking - working together and against each other like the well oiled team they'd been almost twenty years ago. The eyes of each woman followed her man, the female half of the group a captive audience and dedicated cheering section, all the while keeping tabs on the three kids and two dogs gallivanting around the park, splitting their time between the playground and games like hide and seek and tag, putting out more energy in a couple hours than most adults possessed for an entire week.

When one team finally bested the other, though not without going into overtime, and the men made their way towards the shade huffing and puffing from exertion, their wives met them with cold drinks in hand. Getting up from her place on the blanket, Ziva handed Tony a towel and cocked her head towards Brent and CJ, who were unashamedly kissing at the edge of the basketball court. "Have you noticed the change in her? CJ is so different since their wedding, like she is holding nothing back now."

He wiped his face thoroughly and claimed her lips just for a moment. "Like you when you finally realized that unconditional love meant it was never going to change."

A smile lit her eyes. "If you change your shirt, I will hug you for that."

Tony grinned, yanking off his damp tank top and quickly drying sweat, then slid his arms into a grey OSU t-shirt and pulled her close. "That's a nice reward."

Around them all the other players were cleaning off and changing too, the rule if they wanted to hang out close to their girls until everyone headed home, and Ziva wasn't the only one who noticed Brent and CJ. Mark and Jordan chuckled quietly, Darien rolled his eyes, but Adrian took it upon himself to whistle at them. "Nice show newlyweds."

The couple broke apart, CJ's cheeks a bright red that competed with her nickname, and Brent shot his friend a dirty look. "You're one to talk Zip. Didn't you just get married two months ago? I think you guys still fit in that category."

"Yes," Adrian agreed, linking fingers with his other half. "But Em and I confine displays like that to the privacy of our home."

"I'm in love with my wife, so sue me," Brent grumbled. Then he stuck out his tongue at Adrian and brushed his lips over CJ's once more. "We're all married. It's not like you've never seen someone kiss before."

Something unexpected flitted over the other guys' expressions. "Could that be a challenge?" Mark asked.

Tony grinned. "Are we going to have a contest? Who can do the best job kissing their wife? Because I could totally get behind that."

"You would need a willing partner first," Ziva informed him calmly.

"Are you saying you're not?" His brow furrowed.

Cassie smirked and spoke for all the women. "She's saying nobody asked us and we don't want to be part of a rivalry competition."

"Oh." Even Mark looked a little deflated.

Jordan changed the subject. "Did everyone pack their swimsuits? Because I think a trip to the splashpad with the amigos might be in order. It's really hot out today."

Adrian put up his hand. "I'm in."

"Me too," Darien nodded.

Tony sighed. "I can't let you guys have all the fun."

Brent's eyes sought out his son. "If the water's as cold as it was last time we won't last long, but they'll have a blast."

Mark whispered something in Cassie's ear the rest weren't privy to and added his vote. "Since two thirds of the kids belong to me, I guess my mind is made up for me."

The others laughed and began packing things up. Before they got in the car Ziva leaned close to Tony, her lips grazing his earlobe. "I did not refuse to be part of a kissing experiment, only that I prefer not to do it where others are watching." His eyes lit up and she smiled enticingly. "Later amore, when there is just us."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Oh," Ziva gazed at him with love flooding her gaze. "I am counting on it."

_Replies:_

_Guest - some of that stuff I didn't even know about Brent until I wrote the scene. My characters only feed me information as I need it :P Me too, about Z's nightmares, but at least she isn't alone anymore. Oh Gibbs, one of these days he's going to have to give up Rule 12 and let what happens happens. I'm not sure what he's going to do with it for sure, but Celeste will spend time trying to reason him out of enforcing it :) Thanks for reviewing! It is definitely going to be an adventure :) ~Aliyah_

_Christie - sorry, didn't mean to make it a big mystery. Tony said it right in Ch 1 - the trigger for the nightmares is that it's the anniversary of Z's rescue from Somalia. I'm not going to be including the Ryan/adoption convo right now, I'm thinking about going back to it as a flashback when the adoption's final. It's really not going to mean that much to him because Brent has been his dad for months and as far as he's concerned, they were official when they all married each other. I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. There will definitely be more of Celeste. Thanks for the idea re: M&amp;C. Some of the frat gang people have kind of faded into the background with the B/CJ/R stuff taking up so much room, but I look forward to exploring more of the others this season as well :) I'm thinking we'll probably drop in on M&amp;C for one of their date nights and see what that's like. I'm glad they're your favourites, my OCs always appreciate having fans. Thanks so much for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah PS. Have you ever considered getting an FF account? Then I could reply to your reviews directly. But if you're happy with this method, I am too :)_

_earanemith - I'm glad you're excited, me too! But there's a lot of work to be done. I know, the nightmares are no fun. Hmm...Rob is just going to be in the background taking some of the heat off T&amp;Z. EJ is the one who will be a nuisance. I did write a description of Meira when they got her, but I don't know what kind she is. I saw a picture when I was on Google Images searching for dogs and she seemed to be the one for T&amp;Z. She's tan coloured, with a black splash covering her back and sides. And she has floppy ears. Sorry I can't be more helpful. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_amaia (MIT4 Ch 47) - I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed this part of the story. Real is always what I'm shooting for so if it felt that way then I accomplished my goal. I know. It's sad that we're without our weekly dose of T&amp;Z now, but at least FF is here to salve the wound a bit. You're very welcome. Thank you for reviewing :) ~Aliyah_

_amaia - that's a lovely reaction for only the first chapter, thank you. I love T&amp;Z alone in small dark rooms, always seems more intimate and romantic. I know, Rob. But he has to be there whether we like him or not. He just won't be a focus like on the show. My apologies for prematurely posting Ch 1 and then leaving you all to wonder for months about what happens next. I'm glad to be back now. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Emma - that's nice to hear, thank you. Haha...took me a moment to get it, I'm not very up on my pop culture references. Thank you for the kind words. I do apologize that it has taken me so long to finally update. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Miriam - hi :) Oh my goodness, that's a lot of reading in two days! Thank you for your interest in this story. I am sorry the update took so long. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Guest - Thank you for saying so. It's very nice to be a favourite. I'm truly glad you're enjoying the stories :) ~Aliyah_

_Azucar (AHTH) - I have always wished for more than what they gave us. I'm glad you liked my version. I do my best to avoid heartache in my stories, I'm much more of a happy ending kind of girl :) Thanks! ~Aliyah_

_Azucar (MIT Aftermath) - Thank you, I'm glad you think so. No, there is actually quite a bit more. Moments In Time is an entire series so if you started with Aftermath you actually missed quite a lot. There is a list of them in order on my profile. I hope you get the change to check them out. Thanks for reviewing! PS. If you leave an anonymous review I have no way to reply to it until I post a new chapter. My apologies for the delay._

_Azucar (For Her) - I'm glad to hear that. There were certain things about this T&amp;Z future that were not ideal but I always have to go where the characters are leading me. They did go to Israel together and with Kalye, but she had to go on her own too. Something changed in her when she stayed in Israel, that's the part that didn't come home with her. It's rather sad really. Ireland - because I believe visiting there was on Ziva's 'I Will' list from her childhood, though now I believe I maybe have mis-read or heard because I think it was Iceland, but I tried. Also because she wanted to live in a castle, so them staying in an old castle that had become a hotel was as close as I could get her. I never really thought about it but I'm sure they brought back souvenirs. One can hardly go somewhere and not bring Abby back something :) Sorry, what they did on their second honeymoon will have to remain in the fade to black and behind closed doors area. I don't do smut. To quote a Christian author I heard speak at a conference - of course my characters have sex, just not where you can see them ;) Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. ~Aliyah_

_Guest (TRZD) - I'm sorry to confuse you. I like to reuse characters I like when they can fit into other stories (the exception is shrinks, they are custom tailored to each individual story/need), but then I often change their history because I like being creative and it's fun to do things a bit differently when I have the chance. ~Aliyah_

_Lazy Reader - again, I am very sorry for the long wait on an update. There was so much to do but I never envisioned it taking so many months. I'm so glad to hear that you like my writing, that's a great compliment. It's also nice to know that my long absence hasn't caused everyone to forget about MIT, there's always a danger of that. Unfortunately when I went back and did an inventory of chapters I realized how many of the chapters had more scenes and details that needed to be added so posting another one right away was not an option. I hope you enjoy everything that's in store for Part 5. Thank you! :) ~Aliyah_

_ \- don't worry, I will definitely be continuing. Part 5 looks to be just over 30 chapters and I already have What Lies Between - the story for what happened the summer of S8 - sketched out. It may be 10 chapters or so long. Part 6 is in the planning stages and Part 7 consists of 7 chapters already but because I wrote that before I began posting Part 1 of the series, some of it has to be redone to incorporate new/different information. Season 10, while it has some great T&amp;Z moments, I won't be doing as MIT goes AU after the explosion in S9. Thank you for your interest, I'm glad you're enjoying the story :) ~Aliyah_


	3. 8x1 The Spider and The Fly 3

_A/N: Hey guys, here's another chapter finally. Sorry, I know I said the first week of December but this was as close as I could get. Apologies also for the first alert that went out for this chapter, I left some editing notes in and had to fix that and re-post it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to have another chapter up before Christmas or not, but I'll do my best. In case I don't see you before, have a very Merry Christmas! ~ Love, Aliyah_

**Sunday September 26 continued**

"You've got that look on your face again." Mark came up behind Cassie, where she was sitting at the desk in their room, after checking to make sure the kids were asleep. "What is it this time?"

She smiled at him, happiness lighting her eyes as she flipped pages in what had been designated as her family notebook - a large thick book with several sections, each reserved for one member or couple within the gang, where all important information was collected. Cassie had spent the last decade and a half recording phone numbers, email addresses, birthdays, anniversaries, favourite foods/movies/games/places, nicknames and how or why they were given, as well as prayer requests so she and Mark could bring before God what mattered in their friends' lives.

"I forgot to update it for Brent and CJ's wedding date. Watching them today reminded me. I'm so happy for him."

"Me too." He tapped one of the prayer requests that had been written down shortly after they were married and she started keeping track of everything. "Swish is getting closer on this one." _Please draw Brent back to You Father. Love him enough to cover the pain of his losses._ "His new family is helping that along."

"God certainly takes His time on some things," Cassie mused. She'd been praying for Brent ever since he lost his parents and decided faith wasn't doing him any favours. "I think it makes a difference that CJ is on her way back too."

Mark rubbed her neck. "Did you ever question God Cass, after your mom died?"

She sighed. "That's so much different. I had a whole year with Mom to prepare for not having her around. It wasn't easy, but I wasn't surprised when the end came. Brent and CJ had no warning for their losses, they just came out of nowhere and totally blindsided them."

"You didn't answer my question."

Cassie leaned into his touch, his hands on her always felt so good. "If I didn't have Jesus I'd be completely alone, even if I was with you," she shared quietly. "Giving up believing was never an option."

He dropped a kiss on her hair. "I'm glad to hear it." If they hadn't been Christians and committed to 'for better or for worse', Mark wasn't entirely sure their marriage would've survived the loss of Cassie's mom and how deeply she'd grieved.

Silence fell between them for several moments, then Cassie stood and slid her arms over her husband's shoulders. "So what was that you whispered earlier about 'just wait until the kids are in bed'?"

Mark chuckled against her mouth. "Mrs. Reece, I will be delighted to show you."

**NCIS**

**Monday September 27**

Ziva's first reaction upon opening her eyes to pale early morning sunshine was tears, but for the first time in seven days they were of pure joy and relief, in no way related to those of sadness or distress. Closing brown eyes again to whisper a prayer expressing thanks, she savoured the gift of a full night's sleep. Feeling light, her soul unburdened at last, Ziva slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom for a shower, turning her music on before stepping under the deliciously hot spray.

The sound of water running brought Tony out of dreams and he rubbed bleary eyes, blinking groggily. Ziva wasn't beside him. That in itself spiked his heartrate, but he soon put water and missing wife together and realized she was in the shower. Staying in bed an extra couple minutes in protest of the usual morning routine, which always seemed worse on Mondays, he finally got up and shuffled his way to the kitchen to start coffee. After staring at the tiny drips in the two cup pot for several seconds, Tony sighed, deciding to get dressed while he waited for it to brew. Watched coffee never boiled or some such nonsense.

In clean clothes, since he'd showered yesterday after basketball and water fun with the kids, he felt a little more awake but the tantalizing smell of fresh caffeine would help even more. The bathroom door swung open and steam rolled out, moderately loud Hebrew pop music pouring from the iPod speakers they kept on a shelf in that room. On his way past Tony peeked inside and had to grin at his wife dancing around wearing only a towel and singing along to the lyrics. He leaned against the doorframe and enjoyed watching for awhile when she was unaware.

As soon as she noticed Ziva stopped, a bit embarrassed to be caught, but on second thought she crooked her finger at her husband, beckoning him closer for a kiss. Tony set his mug on the counter and willingly accepted her offering. It was so easy to get lost in his wife's mouth, the sensation of her lips gliding over his, and he kept his eyes closed for a moment after she pulled away. He cradled her cheek. "You seem in fabulous spirits this morning."

Her chocolate gaze danced. "I slept through the night!"

His mouth fell open, this revelation something he hadn't yet noticed. "No nightmares? Really?"

"Really." A beautiful grin claimed her face. "I feel wonderful!"

"I'll bet." Tony hugged her close, incredibly thankful for the reprieve. Then his watch beeped and he checked the time. "That's our half hour warning. What can I get you for breakfast?"

"A smoothie would be lovely. And I can take it with me if I run out of time." She pressed her lips to his. "Thank you ahava."

"Babe," the thousand watt DiNozzo smile made her blink at its force, "that is my pleasure."

They got ready for work and made it on time, something that didn't matter quite as much when Tony was the boss this week, and right away were pulled into a case. At lunchtime, a thirty minute break her husband dictated they take, Ziva nibbled on a protein bar while her pen moved across a small sheet of paper.

_Dear ahava, thank you so much for your patience and love towards me this week, for your faithfulness even though the last several days have been so difficult and dark. I appreciate you more than I can say, that you have always been there for me to turn to, your constant presence and love teaching me what unconditional means. _

_So many times I have not deserved this gift and yet you give it freely anyways. Every day as your wife just makes me even more thankful for you, my husband, and this precious life we have built together. Toda raba, ti sono infinitamente grata, thank you with all my heart. Your Ziva._

She folded it in half, touched her lips to the letter, and went over to tuck it in the inside pocket of his jacket where he kept his wallet. He would have reason to reach for the leather holder soon enough and a smile grew as she pictured his face when he found her gift. Bringing that look of awe and sheen of tears to his eyes to see her heart expressed in words was something she would never get tired of.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday September 28**

When Ziva woke early in the morning after her second nightmare free sleep, she smiled at her husband's face only a breath away and brushed her lips lightly over his, carefully sliding out from under the covers. His hand shot out to grab her wrist. "Do you have to go for a run?"

That was not even close to what she was planning, but it was supposed to be a surprise so she leaned down and touched her lips to his again. "I will be back before you know it."

Tony's nose wrinkled and he sighed deeply, though he didn't bother trying to talk her out of the exercise. Several seconds later he was back asleep and Ziva slipped silently out of the room. Taking care to be extra quiet while she gathered the baking supplies needed for her project, she set about whipping up a box of marble cake mix, her husband's request for the make up birthday she'd promised him two weeks ago. Twenty minutes later, as Ziva was spooning batter into paper cupcake liners, Meira poked her nose out the bedroom door and trotted over to check things out.

The Israeli woman smiled down at her pet. "Boker tov motek. I'm sorry, I cannot take you for a walk yet." Meira lifted her head, sniffing the air, and Ziva chuckled. "No, you may not have any batter." She glanced towards the door before sharing in a whisper, "But if you ask him very nicely, Tony might share some of his cake with you." The dog leaned against her mistress's leg while she poured batter for a small layer cake and used a knife to swirl chocolate through the golden part.

Shortly afterwards Ziva put both concoctions in the oven and set the timer. She washed her hands, pulled on the sweatpants she'd grabbed earlier and one of Tony's hoodies, and knelt down to Meira's level. "You have been very patient. We can go out now."

At 'out' Meira dashed towards the door and found her leash, offering the braided green object to Ziva and wagging her tail. The two DiNozzo ladies enjoyed a leisurely walk, arriving home in time for her to fill Meira's food dish and get her clean water before Tony's dessert needed to be taken out of the oven. She washed the bowls and utensils used earlier while waiting the required ten minutes before she could do anything else. Getting metal racks from beneath the sink, Ziva removed all the cupcakes and the two small, round cake layers from the pans to cool.

Only one was held back and though it was still quite warm even after waiting a couple extra minutes, she iced it with the French Vanilla frosting anyways, stuck a candle from the catch-all drawer in the center, and used a match to light the wick. Opening the door to their bedroom, she walked slowly towards her husband, softly singing, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Tony, happy birthday to you."

He frowned, forcing his eyelids apart a crack. "Is this _Back to the Future_? Because I could've sworn I already had my birthday."

"It does not count when you had to spend it alone," she retorted.

Technically he hadn't been alone. And the date hadn't gone unnoticed. As he'd predicted in their early morning phone call on September 13, Abby had festooned his desk with streamers and balloons and Gibbs did glared at him several times over the course of the day because of that, even though he had nothing to do with the decorations and no one could stop Abby in party mode anyways. Chocolate bars, favourite coffee and coffee related drinks, plus movie tickets and Blockbuster coupons had poured in all day, but none of it had been the same without his partner sitting at the desk across from him and laughing at all the fuss.

Tony came back to the present. "So today is my birthday?"

"Yes." Ziva looked pointedly at the dripping, blue striped candle. "And you need to make a wish."

He kissed her fingers. "I already got mine, because you came home."

She rolled her eyes. "Make a wish anyways. It is tradition."

Tony took a deep breath and blew out the candle. His wish this time was shallow and very much pleasure based, but hopefully it would come true now that the nightmares had finally decided to give Ziva a break. He looked at the cupcake she held and smiled fondly. "You did this the first year too, after I got out of the shower. How did you know that was my favourite birthday?"

Ziva shook her head slowly. "I did not. But it is my favourite because it is the first one I spent with you."

"That deserves a kiss," he decided, tugging her down beside him. Tony's fingers slid into her hair and his mouth claimed hers for a long, profound moment, then he took a large bite of the dessert and tried to talk around it. "D'lishus." She snorted and wiped a bit of icing from his lip, sticking her finger in her mouth. His eyes followed the action closely and he swallowed hard. "Um...Zi..."

Her gaze strayed to the clock. "Not enough time," she informed her husband regretfully. Then her eyebrows rose. "But we still need to shower before we go into work."

Tony's eyes lit up. "If that was an invitation, I'm all in."

Ziva chuckled, letting her hand fall slowly down his chest. She angled closer, her low voice sending the good kind of shivers down his spine. "As for the other thing...hold that thought until tonight amore. I am very much looking forward to repaying the debt I owe."

He groaned when she moved out of reach, but not before stealing a bite of his cupcake. He stayed there, frozen in place, until she stuck her head back around the door. "Are you coming?"

Out of bed in a flash, Tony gave her the famous DiNozzo grin. "Wouldn't miss it for the world." Making out with his wife in the shower was a fabulous way to start his birthday.

**NCIS**

Originally when she thought about marrying Brent and the three of them being a family CJ had assumed that she would teach until three as she always did and be home with her boys after school, to make them dinner and catch up on their days. But Brent really enjoyed cooking for her and Ryan had become his little helper in the kitchen, which was something she didn't want to take away from either of them. But it left her feeling kind of useless some days as she sat at the table, doing nothing but asking questions and getting answers on everything she'd missed since they parted ways in the driveway that morning.

They'd only been back from their honeymoon two weeks and Brent had picked up on the fidgeting and subtle tells his wife put out several days ago, but it was taking time to decide what to do about it. After Ryan was in bed, tucked in and kissed by both parents once they took turns reading a story and heard his prayers, the couple got comfortable on the couch with hot drinks as was their routine and Brent put in a movie. He didn't even wait for the previews to start before looking at her.

"You're not used to sitting on the sidelines, huh?"

Her eyebrows drew together. "You might have to explain the basketball analogy Coach."

He folded his fingers around hers. "For seven and a half years you pulled multiple duties - mom, dad, taxi driver, cook, housekeeper, rule-maker and playmate. You work hard at the gym all day and come home unable to shut all that off even though Ry and I are trying to give you a break." CJ's lips parted and he kissed her to forestall any argument. "Don't deny it Kris, I've seen how you never hold still even when you don't move from that chair until dinner's ready."

She studied the wobbly reflections in her tea. "I don't want to just be the one you take care of. I want to help Brent, to contribute to this family. And right now I'm not."

"How do you mean?" As far as he was concerned she was helping out a lot. The house was cleaner than it had ever been when he and Cody were the sole occupants. She and the dog were becoming better friends as she walked him to help out when Brent's time was running short. And she added such a richness to his life just by her presence, something he was grateful for every minute of the day.

CJ let her hand fall to rest on Cody's head, he'd taken up residence at her feet, and fingered one soft ear. "You take him to school and bring him home. Ryan helps you make supper. He loves doing homework with you. He doesn't want my help for baths anymore. The only time I ever spend with him is at bedtime and then both of us are doing that!"

"Oh." For a minutes Brent felt totally deflated, then it dawned on him that she missed her son, not that she begrudged the time he and Ryan spent together bonding. "Ohh."

"Yeah," she said quietly. "And now I feel like a heel for bringing it up because you are such a good dad." She rubbed her forehead. "Maybe it's all in my head."

He rubbed her knee. "No, I get it." Brent leaned his head back. "So what can we do to fix that? Can't have the mom feeling left out." The question was mostly rhetorical as he pondered their dilemma. "We could take turns, who he goes to school with and who brings him home."

Relieved that he was taking her seriously, CJ nodded. "My schedule hasn't changed, it's still the way I set it up to work around Ryan when there was just the two of us. So that would be a nice start."

"We need more than one compromise," Brent mused. "How about, if I bring him home we start supper right away and you can go shower and pamper yourself while we're working, then he's all yours for as long as it takes to cook and I'll do Cody's walk. When you bring him home you can catch up on his day while taking the dog out and I'll go shower, then maybe all three of us can pitch in for supper and we'll sort out homework plans while the meal is cooking."

A genuine smile curved across her lips. "I'd like that a lot." She pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You're a genius. I knew I married you for a reason."

Brent turned to her and grinned. "More than one I hope."

"Definitely more than one." CJ leaned over to set her mug on the floor, Cody was well trained enough to leave it alone, and shifted closer to her husband. Undoing the top button on his shirt, she slid her hand inside, her palm warming the bare skin of his chest, and brought her mouth to his. Loving this side of his wife, when she felt secure enough with him to be brave and initiate any kind of intimacy between them, Brent reached up to tug her ponytail loose, sifting the silky coils between his fingers while his other hand crept along her waist and snuck under her top, relishing the freedom to touch her.

More than a few minutes later a little voice in the hall door jerked them apart in a hurry. "Mom?"

CJ pulled away with a small gasp and wiped her mouth, swallowing as she tried to act like everything was fine and their son hadn't just caught them making out on the couch. "Hi monkey."

Ryan had Mr. Boo tucked under one arm and he didn't seem to know what to say.

Brent cleared his throat. "What did you need buddy?"

The boy shrugged. "I forgot my water bottle."

All eyes were drawn to where the blue, basketball decorated bottle sat innocently on the kitchen table. Trying to diffuse the awkwardness, Brent smiled. "Can't have that. Let me fill it up for you." He went to the sink turned the water on, bringing the full bottle to his son moments later. Kneeling before Ryan, he handed it over and rubbed the boy's arm. "Are you too big to be carried back to bed?"

Some of the uncertainty in his eyes melted away and Ryan shook his head. Brent hefted his son into his arms and headed for the stairs, leaving CJ alone. He volunteered in case Ryan wanted to talk to him about what he'd seen, she shouldn't always have to deal with the questions about being married. Once back in his basketball coloured room and tucked under a green striped comforter, Ryan nestled his head in the pillow. "G'night Dad."

Unable to tell if it was a dismissal or not, Brent kissed his son's head and stood. "G'night Ry. Love you."

He sighed. "Love you too."

Leaving the door open a crack Brent blew out a breath and rejoined his wife. "Well that was unexpected."

She closed her eyes. "Talk about embarrassing. I feel like I've been caught with my boyfriend on the porch because Dad turned the light on."

He chuckled. "Sounds like there's a story behind that one."

"I guess we confine those activities to our bedroom now?" CJ sighed. "Too bad, it was kinda fun."

Brent pulled her into his lap. "I don't think we have to hide honey. We weren't doing anything wrong."

She rolled her shoulders. "The lines start blurring when we're messing with clothing beloved. I don't want to make him uncomfortable."

"Him or you?" CJ frowned. "Because I think it's good for Ryan to see that his parents love each other. It creates security for kids when the marriage is solid. Take it from a kid who witnessed both sides." At a couple of the foster homes he'd been in tension between the mom and dad was so thick it could've been cut with a knife. Not a nice feeling.

"It's a lot to get used to, the idea that he could always walk in on us. I mean, we know better than to get inappropriate outside of closed doors, but this is all so new and...strange sometimes."

"I know." Brent brushed his lips over her knuckles. "But I'm really proud of you."

Her fingers grazed his jaw. "Is this never strange for you? To go from being a single man with only his dog to worry about, to a married man with a family to take care of? You must miss your freedom sometimes, the days of having nobody to check with first before you make plans or no other people around if you wanted to stay in your pyjamas all day and do your own thing."

"Nope," he answered quickly. "I don't miss those days for a moment Kris. I can't. Though if you want to stay in your pyjamas all day I'll gladly join you." She squirmed away from his tickling and he sobered. "I knew within weeks of meeting you and Ryan that I wanted the two of you to be my future. I've had a lot longer to prepare for this than you did. I spent months desperate to be in your life, to be your husband, to be trusted that way with your heart and everything else that goes with it. And Ry..." Brent shrugged. "He was the son of my heart long before he was my son on any piece of paper." Because the child asked for it, Pastor Garrett had written a special certificate out after the wedding that proclaimed Ryan Taylor and Brent MacKay to be father and son. It was now framed and sitting proudly on Ryan's dresser where he could see it every morning when he woke up.

Tears gathered in CJ's eyes and rolled down her cheeks. "I love you so much Brent. I hope I tell you that enough. Thank you for all of this."

Smothering her in a long kiss, Brent hugged her tightly. "I'm the one who should be thanking you." This life with them was everything he'd ever hoped for finally come true.

**NCIS**

"So," Ziva began after they were ready for bed, Tony in boxers and her body clad in a low cut, nearly transparent, dark violet coloured negligee. It had a jeweled bodice, clung to her body in all the right places, and didn't even reach mid-thigh. He could just see the matching panties underneath and his fingers itched to explore each lacy line, "you have had your birthday supper and cake just like you asked for. Now we are here and I did promise to do anything you wanted." Her fingers wandered idly over the top, which accentuated a part of her body he was intensely fond of, and Tony had to swallow hard to keep from drooling at the suggestion in her tone. "What did you have in mind?"

Tony drew her into his arms and joined their lips, then kissed slowly up her neck, his teeth grazing the delicate shell of her ear, making Ziva shiver in anticipation of what was to come. "Page fifty-seven?" he offered.

His wife laughed, recalling their rather inappropriate conversation the day she joined the team. "Mmm," she scraped her nails lightly down his chest. "We have not done that in awhile."

He nipped at her neck and felt her pulse throbbing just below the warm skin. "Please tell me you're saying yes." After Somalia they'd shied away from getting too creative with intimacy, and some things he knew might never be okay again, but Tony was hoping quite fervently to at least start working their way back.

Ziva chuckled low in her throat. "A promise is a promise."

He captured her mouth for a deep kiss. "Mrs. DiNozzo, you do birthdays very well."

Slender fingers slid along his cheeks. "Ahava," she whispered, "I am so thankful for one more to spend with you."

Tony's hand snuck under the edge of the gauzy material to lay flat on her back, pressing her body into his and after that no words were needed as the world faded away and there was only a husband and a wife and the way they loved each other.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday September 29**

It was early afternoon on what was becoming a paperwork only day when Tony's phone rang. "Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo's desk."

"Hello Anthony," came Ducky's cheery accent. "I was wondering if you could send Ziva down to see me?"

He frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"I only need a few minutes of her time."

Tony didn't like the evasiveness even though he'd spent almost ten years working under Leroy Jethro Gibbs, who was the master at ignoring questions he didn't want to answer. "Uh, sure. I'll tell her."

He hung up and stared at Ziva, tapping his pencil nervously. "Hey Zi, Ducky wants you down in Autopsy."

She stopped typing her report and looked up. "Did he say why?"

Tony frowned. "No, and that bugs me. Ducky isn't one for being concise with his explanations."

"Hm. I guess I had better go find out then." Confusion swirling around her mind, Ziva pushed back her chair and headed for the stairs. She usually only took the elevator now if she was leaving with her partner. Just in case there was ever another power outage, she preferred to chose whom she'd be stranded with. Exiting the stairwell on Basement Level 2, Ziva approached the sensored doors and stopped just inside them. "What can I do for you Doctor?"

Ducky looked up from a file, a smile creasing his face. "Hello my dear, please come in."

She entered as far as the chair by his desk and crossed her arms. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like what you have to say?"

His expression grew serious. "You're as aware of the date as I am Ziva."

She rubbed her forehead. "What does the anniversary have to do with it?" The last three nights, thankfully, had been free of the nightmares that had kept she and Tony from rest for over a week, but she hadn't yet put the shadows completely behind her. Though for Tony's sake yesterday she'd done her best to ignore them.

Ducky regarded her knowingly. "A year is a significant length of time. I'd like to consider this a follow up appointment. My final request for blood tests and a physical examination, after today those things will be up to your doctor." He hesitated. "I'd also like to take photos of everything that has healed for comparison."

Already thinking this was overkill when Elin had insisted upon monthly blood tests from her first visit after returning home until the doctor no longer felt the need to worry about her patient, Ziva almost missed the second part. The word 'photos' had her stiffening and she stared at the floor. "Is that entirely necessary?"

The ME touched her shoulder, unsurprised when she shifted away. "I believe it is."

She clenched her jaw and focused on taking deep breaths in and out through her nose. Finally she sat rigidly in the chair and pushed up her sleeve. "Get it over with."

Ducky didn't take her demeanor personally and got to work, being as gentle as possible while also making sure the task was done thoroughly. A few minutes had come and gone multiple times before he put away all his equipment and let Ziva get dressed again. She finished buttoning her shirt and he noticed again that she had neither spoken nor made eye contact with him since his announcement. "I do apologize for the indignity of it all dear girl. Please know it was not my intention to cause you any discomfort."

Ziva squared her shoulders. "It is fine. Good day Doctor."

Watching her walk away, Ducky began to wonder if the knowledge he'd gained was worth the amount he may have set her back.

**NCIS**

The Ziva who returned to the squadroom nearly an hour after she'd ventured downstairs was a far cry from the one she'd been before Ducky's phone call. For the remainder of the workday she remained quiet and withdrawn. She didn't speak a word and pretended not to hear any questions directed at her about the reason for her visit to Autopsy. As much as Tony hoped it was only a front, the defeated slump of her shoulders and dullness in her eyes hinted that this was indeed real and not an act.

He dismissed McGee around suppertime, having heard that the geek couple's much anticipated first again movie night after the summer's events was planned for tonight. Tony thought Tim might actually be more excited by the fact that it was his turn to choose the film than anything else, but he sure got himself down to the lab in a hurry, so perhaps it was his pigtailed goth best friend who really put a smile on the probie's face. When they were the only two left in the bullpen Tony made his way over to Ziva's desk and sat on the edge.

"Hey, ready to go?" The brown eyes turned his direction seemed to look right through him and she blinked as if she didn't understand the question. Watching her with concern, he touched her hand only to have Ziva yank it away like she'd been burned. His eyebrows drew together. "What is going on?"

She stood abruptly, gathering her bag and coat, then turned off the monitor and walked towards the elevators. Tony scrambled to grab his things and follow her, but he wasn't quick enough and the door slid shut in his face. Frustrated, he slammed his hand against the metal and yanked open the stairwell door, clattering down cement steps two at a time. Outside in the parking lot Ziva stood staring at the passenger door of his car, unable to get in because he had the keys. He stopped by her side. "Ziva."

Creating space between the two of them, she did not appear to acknowledge his words. Feeling a little less sympathetic and more annoyed, Tony pressed the unlock button and dumped his stuff in the trunk, pulling the driver's door open and doing up his seatbelt with jerky movements. Ziva spent the drive home staring at nothing out the window and she was inside the house before he realized she'd pilfered the keyring. By the time he finally made it through the front door still having no idea how to handle whatever this was, his wife had changed into long sleeved black clothing, a tell tale sign that she was hiding if her distant demeanor wasn't enough to convey that already.

He tried multiple times to find a way in but she remained out of reach and Tony was at a loss for how to get her back. Though he put his best culinary talents on display in the kitchen to make shakshuka, Ziva showed no interest in eating supper and in fact didn't respond to him at all, seeming an ocean away even though they were in the same room. When she came to bed wearing more clothes than she had since last winter Tony felt the need to ask again what had happened, but she only shook her head and curled up on her side away from him.

Aware of her distress, Meira slowly approached the bed and sat with her nose only an inch from Ziva's, a warm pink tongue flicking out to lick her mistress's cheek. That seemed to break a hole in whatever wall she was building to keep them out and Ziva lifted her hand to gently pet the dog's head. Though she made no sound at all, Tony saw silent trails of tears streaking down his wife's face and finally ignored all the 'back off'/'leave me alone' signals and molded his body to hers, holding on when she wouldn't or couldn't.

He was unable to determine if it was a positive sign that she didn't push him away or not because she was just so empty, and it scared him that she could've gone away so fast. Memories of her smile that morning when he kissed her awake physically hurt, because since seeing Ducky she hadn't even looked at him once. Praying for something he couldn't even put into words it was so big and important, Tony wrapped his arm tighter around his wife and hoped that daylight would make everything clear.

**NCIS**

**Thursday September 30**

To his great disappointment the arrival of morning didn't make anything better and Ziva came out dressed in long plain clothing that covered almost every bit of her, such as he hadn't seen since the early days after Somalia. She couldn't hide any more if she tried and she might as well have been wearing a neon sign that screamed 'not fine'. In her current state he didn't trust her to drive let alone leave the building, so they carpooled to work and in the elevator Tony tucked her hair back.

"I'm sorry honey, but I can't have you in the field today if something comes up." She gave no sign that she'd understood and he swallowed. "Won't you tell me Zi, please?" It was hard not to provoke a response, especially when he couldn't figure out if he'd rather shake her or wrap her in an embrace so tight she couldn't get away from his love no matter how hard she tried. Tony sighed. "I wish you'd help me understand why you're wearing this defeat again, like you've forgotten you're a survivor not a victim. Please remember that's how I always see you."

With no response even to that he gave up and let them off on the fifth floor. All morning Ziva just went through the motions of working, but she seemed to be locked in her own invisible prison and no one could get through. While they were getting coffee from the breakroom Tim glanced towards the bullpen. "Any idea what's going on with Ziva?"

"Not a clue." Tony chucked his stir stick in the garbage with more force than necessary.

"I haven't seen her like this since..." he trailed off.

"I know." The clipped words warned that his patience with this conversation was short.

"Do you think it has something to do with whatever Ducky wanted yesterday?"

Tony wanted to bang his head against a wall but had a feeling it would only make things worse. "That seemed to be the trigger. Has she said anything to you?"

McGee shook his head. "She's spent the day acting like we're not even in the room." He huffed on his coffee a few times but even that didn't draw a reaction from the senior field agent/temporary team leader. "Do you think we need to stage an intervention or something?"

"Oh yeah, that would go over well," Tony shot back sarcastically. He sipped the strong brew and made a face. Not enough sugar. "But if she keeps this up I might drag her back down to that shrink she was seeing last year." He wasn't sure if Honora could get through to Ziva, but someone had to try.

The younger man seemed surprised. "She did get some help then?"

"You didn't think she'd just be fine on her own, did you?"

McGee remembered quite vividly the slow, measured steps with which their teammate had returned little by little after they rescued her from the desert. "She wasn't fine for a long time." He looked at his teammate. "Do you think she is now? I mean, before yesterday?"

Tony's grip on the paper cup tightened. "I think fine is a stupid word. But she was better." He gave up on the coffee because it still tasted bitter, like everything had since he woke up to no change in his wife. "Time to get back."

Tim watched his friend go and wondered why he'd never noticed before that Tony was only ever as fine as his partner. Today was not a good day.

**NCIS**

Gibbs dragged himself in the door of the motel and stretched muscles stiff from another day of physical labour. Slowly but surely the store was coming, though it would take quite a bit more work to put it back in pristine condition. He kicked off his shoes and grabbed a glass, pouring himself a healthy shot from the bourbon bottle that had taken up residence on the little counter where the coffee maker was. That had been his first purchase once he'd rented the room. After a summer together in close quarters Gibbs and Jackson had made great progress in their relationship, but he hadn't wanted to push things by trying to stay at the house with his dad. They both needed some space.

He suddenly remembered the one thought that had kept him going all day and dug his cellphone out of the rucksack where all of his clothes were neatly tucked away. Gibbs had no intention of getting too comfortable in the room, not when he had a home waiting for him to come back to. Dialing a number burned into his brain from repeated use, he sat back against the headboard and waited. As soon as she picked up he started explaining. "Sorry I'm late Les, another long day helping my dad." Silence filled the line and he frowned. "Les?"

"Almost done Jethro," she answered, and he realized she had him on speaker. "Please excuse my distraction."

He sipped the amber liquid, glad he hadn't kept her waiting. "Take your time." Rifling through one of the many pockets from his military issued bag, Gibbs found the small pieces of wood and tools he'd brought. Seeing as his boat wouldn't fit in the cramped motel room, he'd have to get by with whittling for awhile. At first he'd thought maybe something for Abby or Ziva, but once his knife began cutting away small slivers of wood an idea came to him and now he had a project

to work towards.

With her editing spread out all over the table she'd squeezed into the livingroom, Celeste found her attention slowly drawn away from words on a printed page and the small, neat notes written in purple ink, to the little sounds she could hear on her ex-husband's end of the line. It brought back all sorts of fond memories, time they'd spent in his basement together over the years. She hoped someday to be helping him sand another boat. Very little made Celeste feel closer to Gibbs than being part of what he was creating with his hands.

Dropping her pen, she picked up the phone and headed for the kitchen. "I need to make tea."

Gibbs chuckled. "Should've known."

She smiled. "Are you saying I'm predictable Jethro?"

He paused. "No. But I know you Les."

"Yes," she said softly. "Twenty years is a long time." It was actually closer to seventeen, but the number didn't matter so much as time they'd spent becoming friends.

Gibbs sighed and put more force than necessary into gouging pieces out of the wooden block. "That's the problem with guys, sometimes it takes us too long to realize what a good thing we have."

Celeste set the kettle on its base and pushed the switch. "You're not out of chances yet." There was no response and her eyebrows drew together. "Was that something I should've kept to myself?"

"Hard to say." His chest hurt and maybe it was just the musty motel air, but he suddenly found breathing difficult.

She gave him space, waiting for the water to boil, and fixed her tea with a splash of milk and just the right amount of sugar. The soft scraping noise resumed and Celeste settled on the couch, missing the comfort of having a fire burning at night. Even though California's eighty degree heat made it unnecessary, she'd grown up with woodstove heat and any other place she'd been to, whenever she rented a house, there was always a fireplace. "What are you working on?"

"That's need to know." Gibbs blew away the shavings and shook his head. "Why do you put up with me Les?"

Celeste ran her fingers around the rim of the glass. "I don't think you want me to answer that." Because _'I never stopped loving you'_ would definitely be too much for a man who'd struggled with commitment issues since Shannon and Kelly died. Never get too close, never get hurt that much again. It was a lonely motto to live by. He didn't seem to know what to say, so she threw him an easy topic. "Tell me about your day. Any interesting kid stories?"

"Ziva's finally living back at her own apartment. Tony called earlier this week to tell me the nightmares just stopped on Sunday night for no good reason. They waited an extra day to make sure she was okay. I think it'll be good for them to have some space from each other. The last nine weeks have been pretty stressful."

"It'll be good for you, you mean," Celeste retorted. "Stop trying to hide your real opinion Jethro. You're only happy because they're not sharing an apartment anymore, not because they're happy. Still the same protective father you've always been."

"Tony and Ziva are too dependent on each other," Gibbs groused. "Wish I could break them of that."

"Don't go interfering. If something is meant to be, you can't - and shouldn't - try to stop it."

He swallowed half the bourbon in one gulp. "Ziva keeps dropping hints that someday my opinion won't be enough to stop her from going after what she wants. And Tony...I don't think he has any idea how long it's been since he looked at a woman other than his partner. The longing in his eyes some days gives me the urge to knock some sense into him. But he might be too far gone now."

Celeste repeated a question she'd asked him months ago. "Would it really be so bad?"

"If it didn't work out, the team would never be the same again. If it did work out..."

"The team would still never be the same again," she finished quietly. "Is it the change you're really afraid of?"

Gibbs swirled his drink and ignored her. "They're my rules Les."

She rolled her eyes. "And who put you in charge?"

"Morrow. Director Shepard. Vance."

"Of their lives yes, what gives you the right to command their hearts as well?"

He slammed the glass down on the bedside table. "I don't want to talk about this." Celeste always made him just a tad uncomfortable because she challenged and wouldn't let him away with his usual brush off answers.

"Just think about it then, that's all I'm asking," she said quietly. "If you love them, you'll put their happiness first above your own fears."

"New topic Les," Gibbs growled.

"You said something about helping your dad?"

"He needed a hand cleaning up and fixing the store. Getting too old to do it all by himself."

"That's very generous of you."

"Yeah, well, it's a start." Gibbs cut away another corner. "Can we talk about something else?"

Celeste sat back and looked up at the ceiling. "You called me. It's your turn to pick."

He rubbed his face. "Seen any dolphins lately?"

She smiled. "Good one. A couple, jumping in the waves at sunset yesterday. It's one of those times I wish I could draw. I've always wanted to, but my hands don't cooperate. I can never get what I'm seeing onto paper and make it look real. But if I could, that's the first thing I'd capture."

Gibbs liked when she sounded happy and relaxed, there hadn't been enough of that when they lived in the same house. So he continued choosing things to talk about that she loved, making Celeste glad that Rosie was out of town visiting her parents. With the apartment to herself and her ex-husband doing his best to keep her attention, it almost felt like a date.

**NCIS**

**Saturday October 2**

Ziva continued to live like a shadow for the rest of the week and come Saturday, with nowhere to go and no one expecting them to do anything, she couldn't find a reason to get out of bed. Feeling like he was dragging an extra thousand pounds around, Tony got up and dressed so he could take Meira for a walk. Once outside he took a deep breath of fresh morning air and stretched. Eager to get going, she pulled on the leash and Tony obligingly followed her down the street. Meira was rather selective about where she did her business this morning so he just tagged along, giving her the freedom to explore.

On their second jaunt around the block, now only out to enjoy themselves, Tony sighed. "So I guess you've noticed Zi's not doing very well." Meira sniffed a bush and looked back at him. "Yeah, I know, it's kinda hard to miss." He knelt down to give her a good scratch under the chin. Meira lifted her head and closed her eyes, in perfect doggy bliss. "She hasn't talked to you, has she?" The dog only appeared offended that he'd stopped. "No, she hasn't talked to me either. That's two whole days pretty girl, I don't know what else to do."

Meira tugged him towards a clump of short trees and Tony nodded. "I guess you're right, I could just not give her a choice. But at the same time, I hate to push her. She can only stay catatonic on me for so long before something breaks." A bunny darted out from under one tree and Meira yipped excitedly. "Get her interested in something? I wish. It's not that easy, especially when she won't even look me in the eye." The dog came right over and nosed his knee and he frowned. "Horses? Horses are good, they've worked before." Then he shook his head. "She's not going to leave the house Meira, I pretty much guarantee it."

She cocked her head to the side and he thought hard. "Maybe if I get her out of bed at least. If she only goes as far as the couch today that'll be something." Tony ran a hand over her coat. "Thanks girl. You're a good listener." Meira flicked a sloppy kiss over his cheek. He made a face, wiping away the slobber. "Thanks a lot. I love you too. And yeah, you give pretty good advice." Straightening he squared his shoulders. "Alright Meira, let's go back home and see what we can do."

He fed their dog breakfast and went to sit beside his wife. Running a gentle hand down her hair he felt the difference and found a good place to start. She'd been neglecting personal hygiene the past couple days and the situation called for a shower. "Come on Zi, let's go into the bathroom."

Her lack of animation was almost as frightening as the way she did what he wanted without questioning or resisting. His Ziva wasn't nearly this compliant and that worried Tony deeply. He stripped them both naked and turned the water on quite hot before stepping in. The steady spray made her blink but nothing else and Tony felt like he was washing a mannequin and not an actual person as he shampooed and conditioned her hair and smothered a cloth in body wash.

The only reaction he got was a flinch, then a full body shudder as he drew the wet terrycloth gently over her scarred back. Frowning because he literally could not remember the last time touching the marks had caused a problem, Tony did it again and watched Ziva close her eyes tightly, her face contorting almost as if she was in pain. That response was so out of the ordinary that he stopped and took a good look at her back to see if she'd somehow reinjured herself, but all the scars were as he remembered from the last time he'd really studied them - continuing to heal and slowly fading or remaining the same, giving him some idea which ones she would bear forever and which would be only a distant memory ten years from now.

Skimming his fingers over her skin returned the same flinch and expression and he couldn't for the life of him figure it out. Tony pressed his lips to her shoulder. "Honey, do they hurt?" She made a move as if to reach for him and then let her hand fall back to her side, steadfastly staring at the floor. What she hadn't the ability or words to tell him was how badly they hurt inside and Ziva would've given anything in that moment to confide in him. But the opportunity was lost along with so many others and he finally gave up.

Their shower ended on somewhat of a sour note because she was holding back and he knew it, but Tony still dried her body carefully and helped her dress in yoga pants and a long sleeved shirt before swallowing her in the hoody that used to be his. He tried one more time, bringing his mouth to hers, and Ziva responded without consciously deciding to do so. The hint of hope in his eyes died when that was the most she did, but it was more than yesterday and he had to take what he could get.

She spent most of the day sitting on the floor in front of the couch with Meira in her lap and all her favourite movies playing on the TV, even _Sound of Music_ and _Pirates of the Caribbean_. It made her wish for the clarity to appreciate what he was trying to do when everything around her was so dark and cold and haunted. Tony managed to coax a few cups of tea and half a bowl of soup into her as the hours passed and though the films filled the house with sounds of swashbuckling and singing, he detested the silence between him and the woman he loved more than anything else in the world.

Later, when they were laying in bed once more, Ziva stared at the rings he'd slipped on her finger and felt his strong arms around her. "Ani mitzta'eret ahava," she said in no more than a whisper, "ani ayefa meod zot." _I'm sorry ahava. I'm so tired of this._

"Oh Zi." Tony closed his eyes and buried his face in her neck. "I know."

That was the last of any interaction, but she'd let him in a crack and Tony would do whatever it took to get through the rest of the walls.

**NCIS**

**Sunday October 3**

Tony lay beside his wife as the clock approached noon. "Will you come with me to the park?" There was a minute shake of her head and he lifted some curls away from her face. "Do you want me to stay?" Another tiny motion vetoed that idea so he chose to give her some space. He worked very hard in the basketball game, spoke little, and left soon after they were done, which made the others wonder what on earth was going on. It was hard to remember the last time Ziva had missed practice, let alone an occasion where Tony barely said ten words to any of them.

Concerned glances were exchanged around the group and finally Mark shrugged. "We'll give them a couple days. If I don't hear anything by Tuesday I'll make a house call."

"Let us know if you need back up," Adrian offered, frowning in the direction his friend's car had gone.

"Group interventions are only for when I'm sure nothing else will work," Mark reminded the guys, seeing that they were ready to head over there now and demand answers. "Cassie and I will keep you posted."

Darien leaned against the tree. "They do not need anything else going wrong."

"I agreed." Jordan played with Allie's rings. "Haven't they been through enough this year?"

"At least he showed up," Brent pointed out. "That's better than last time."

Last time they almost lost the chance to see Tony alive again, but the others didn't need to know that. Mark carried it as a heavy enough burden, no need to spread it around. "Keep them in your prayers gang, they can never have too many of those said for them."

The others nodded and Mark put his arm around Cassie's shoulders as they went to collect their children from the swings. Some days being a family was a lot more challenging than others. But this is when they were called to love the most. There was no such thing as giving up.

**NCIS**

The dam finally broke at ten o'clock on Sunday night, more than three entire days since the whole mess began. Tony was again holding Ziva in his arms, keeping her as close to his body as possible, when she finally stirred. Any movement whatsoever was out of the new abnormal and his grip slacked, allowing her to roll over and tuck her head under his chin. At first whatever she was mumbling was in Hebrew and what he caught wouldn't've made much sense even translated to English, but gradually her words became clearer and in the language they both spoke and Tony caught fragments of sentences about anniversaries and tests and pictures and examinations.

Long after his wife fell asleep he lay in the dark, staring unblinking at the ceiling until he put the pieces together. When he figured it out at long last Tony had the fight the urge to get physical with Dr. Mallard, who was not only a physician and medical examiner but well versed in the field of psychology as well. He should've known better. He should've know what that kind of invasion would do to her and yet he persisted anyways. With a clenched jaw Tony made determined plans about exactly how he would handle tomorrow. All he knew was that he wouldn't let this threat to Ziva's sanity and peace of mind go unanswered. That was a promise.

_Replies:_

_Note - the final review reply at the end of Ch 2 was for janamotedeweath, but FF edited the name out. My apologies._

_Rabea - Thank you. I'm glad you thought the chapter was good and I appreciate your patience and understanding. That means the world to me. I hope you enjoyed this one as well. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_earanemith (MIT1) - Hi, nice to meet you :) I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying it. Oh, if you did start at S7 you're actually missing quite a bit, we are on Part 5 of the series now and there are 3 other inbetween pieces too, just in case you missed them. They are listed, in order, on my profile :) You asked some great questions, thank you. More on Eli and Nettie in this part, yes. But as far as what you read in S7, she did continue to act like he doesn't exist, which is what he was warned she would do when she first got back from visiting T&amp;Z after Somalia and he didn't care. I'll have to check and see when the next Aunt Nettie conversation is, there are still things I know I need to add to this part so thanks for bringing that up, I'll see what I can do :) I'm glad you enjoy their relationship. You know what, I never really thought about what it was like when Z met the gang originally, but because you asked there is now a scene for that, though I'll actually be putting it in S9 because that's where it fits. Thank you very much. Questions make me think and often spark ideas when God allows the inspiration, so I appreciate the help :) Thanks so much for taking the time to review! ~Aliyah_

_Christie - Christie, hi! I was so glad to hear from you, thank you! I have no way to check up on my anonymous people so it's really good to see you again :) How are things? It's nice to be missed, thanks :) I'm glad to be back too, even if it's slow getting onto a regular schedule. I've been wanting to share this story with all of you guys for months. Out of pocket? I don't know that phrase, does that mean away? I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, it was fun to put together. We're at 31 chapters already and I expect to see that number increase by a few more at least, so I might've been wrong when I said this part would be shorter than Part 4. Oops :P Hm, I haven't been following anything to do with NCIS, for my sanity and peace of mind I consider the series to have ended with S10 and I now pretend as if it does not exist. I need happy endings in my life and at least in S10 we had a chance. You know, I really expected the fall (in storytime we are September 2010) to be a bit quieter for them, but between Z's nightmares and the 1 year anniversary stuff that's messing with her and then T's dad and her dad showing up in a couple of months they don't really get a break until mid-December, which surprised me. So be prepared for some relatively turbulent waters ahead and expect calm to be more moments than a general state of mind. I agree, they do deserve it, they're just going to have a to work a bit harder before they get there. You are very welcome and thank you for leaving me a review, it was great to see your name show up in my inbox :) ~Aliyah_


	4. 8x2 Worst Nightmare 1

_A/N: I am so sorry about the delay. I never meant for it to be this long between chapters. But the 2 that follow this one are nearly complete and I should be able to have another up by next week. Thank you so much for your patience, you guys have been amazing. I'll try not to let this happen again. Please enjoy this installment. ~Always, Aliyah._

_PS. For chellemaria, to make her smile even though it's kind of a heavy chapter. All my love hun :)_

**Monday October 4**

Tony was up, showered, dressed and finished the day's first cup of coffee almost an hour earlier than normal before he leaned over his side of the bed to work gentle fingers into his wife's hair. "Zi." She let him draw her out of sleep and blinked slowly, a heavy burden in her sorrowful chocolate eyes. "I'm going into work early today. Got some things to take care of."

Ziva lifted a hand to his cheek. "Boss stuff?"

He kissed her palm. "Something like that." Tony studied her for a long moment. "Are you okay to come today?"

"Yes." She swallowed. "I'm so sorry about the last few days-"

Tony lay a finger on her lips. "It's not your fault. Pulling something like that when you just got over the nightmares wasn't fair."

Tears gathered and Ziva sniffed. "Do you remember I love you even when my heart cannot get through the darkness?"

His mouth claimed hers in a tender caress. "I remember sweetheart. I love you so much." She nodded and Tony had to hug her, to do even a little for a hurt so deep nothing could really touch it. "You can go back to sleep for half an hour if you want," he offered.

"I think I will take Meira out instead. Her company is..." Ziva's brow furrowed as the word escaped her and she finally shrugged. "Meira makes me feel like I am doing something right. It is very special, the ways animals and children love."

Tony smiled. "I agree. Enjoy yourselves. See you soon." He left and blew out a breath once the door closed. Their first actual conversation in three days was a good start, but Ziva hadn't made it out of the woods yet. And now his job as her husband, partner, and protector dictated dealing with the person who'd caused this relapse and trying to fix the damage that had been done.

**NCIS**

Ducky got off the elevator at Autopsy, coming in for his usual early morning cup of tea in the peace and quiet of his sanctuary before the workday began. He was in the process of hanging up his hat when he noticed Tony sitting in the chair beside his desk. "Anthony? What are you doing here?"

Tony leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees and folding his fingers together. "I need to see the original photos of Ziva from the field hospital, and the ones you took last week."

His eyebrows rose and he slipped out of his coat. "I'm not sure I can give them out. Medical files are privileged information."

"My security clearance is high enough."

"That's not what I meant."

Tony pushed to his feet and paced away from him a few steps. "Ducky, I need those pictures!"

The ME leaned against his desk. "Then I have to ask you Anthony, what is Ziva to you?"

He slammed his hand against the wall. "Don't ask me for something I can't give! You have no idea what's at stake here. I-" Tony cut himself off and took a deep breath. "I want a copy of those pictures Ducky and I'm going to get them one way or another. But I'd prefer if you just gave them to me so I don't have to go behind your back."

Ducky was taken aback by how serious the Senior Field Agent was, but it was no less passion than he'd ever demonstrated for his partner's cause in the past. Weighing the consequences of digging for more information or just doing as he was asked, the older man gave in. "Very well. I'll have them on your desk by this afternoon."

"Thank you," Tony forced out, stalking towards the doors. There he stopped and spun back to face him. "How could you do that to her?! You saw the effects of the nightmares, how badly they were eating at her. You're a doctor, you should've known better! Hasn't she been through enough?"

The ME's mouth fell open slightly. "Tony, I did not mean-"

"Any harm?" he finished sarcastically. "Well guess what Doc, you caused harm. What are you going to do to mend it?" With that parting thought he strode to the elevator, leaving a chastened and regretful Dr. Mallard behind him.

Tony got out at the squadroom and sat rigidly in his chair, robotically working through and reviewing files to pass the time and keep his mind occupied. Their temporary team leader was the picture of industry when the others arrived, McGee first and the Israeli-American following soon after. Ziva could see her husband's tension in his stiff posture and the set of his mouth, though he deliberately tried to relax when she entered the bullpen. Her eyebrow drew together but she was mindful that they were not alone and so phrased her question as obliquely as possible. "Is paperwork giving you a hard time?"

Tony scrawled his signature and closed the folder. "No more than usual." He gave her a once over. "Okay?"

Her smile was faint. "Not yet." The effort of pushing through suffocating thoughts and negative feelings felt monumentally difficult and she dropped into her chair. Maybe by tomorrow things would look different.

**NCIS**

Tony saw Jimmy coming, having been watching the back elevator since noon, and suddenly decided he needed a bathroom break. Neither agent looked up when he left, which was good. The last thing he wanted was someone asking questions he wasn't prepared to answer. He held up his hand before Jimmy started to speak and backed the nervous assistant towards the wall, out of sight from the bullpen.

Jimmy swallowed and held up the folder. "Dr. Mallard...he uh, he said that you needed this and I-" his eyes flickered towards the team space.

Tony glared. "Did you look in there?"

"Normally I would never...but I caught a glimpse when Dr. Mallard handed me the file and-" The senior field agent's expression grew menacing and Jimmy pushed his glasses up. "I didn't know what Ziva...I never imagined..." He swallowed, genuinely confused. "Why do you want the pictures Tony? They're...awful."

Tony ripped the folder from his hands. "That's none of your business. Get back to Autopsy Palmer, gremlins don't respond well to daylight." With that he shoved the younger man into the elevator and headed for the copyroom. A few minutes to himself was mandatory before he had to face the rest of the team and act like everything was fine. This was so far from fine he didn't even know where to start.

A few minutes turned into half an hour and when he came back Tony looked like he had at the end of that horrible afternoon she told him about Somalia. Alarmed, Ziva stood and met him outside the bullpen. "What happened?"

He moved her carefully aside and pasted on the fakest smile she'd ever seen. "Nothing. Don't worry about it. I'm going to take yesterday's evidence downstairs. Back soon."

Tony walked away without a pause, leaving Ziva fretting by the window. Somewhere between going to the head and his much delayed return something had crippled her confident husband and now he was barely holding together by a string. She knew it must be bad, because for the first time in ages he hadn't been able to look her in the eyes.

In the elevator Tony hit the emergency stop switch and leaned his forehead on the cool metal wall. He'd seen the wounds when she came home, two days out of Africa, still raw and tender to the touch, but not before they'd been cleaned and tended to by medical personnel at the field hospital and he'd forgotten how incredibly serious and painful they'd been. A year had dulled his memory for the state in which his wife returned - all skin and bone, hollow cheeks and dull, sunken eyes, and it was a punch to the gut that stole his breath to see the Ziva in the photos like that again.

"Get a grip DiNozzo," he muttered to himself. "She needs you to be strong and lead her out of the tunnel. It's not gonna do Ziva any good if you get lost in there too." He released a harsh breath. The truth was inconvenient because he'd like very much to break down and be overwhelmed right now but that wasn't possible. Ziva needed him more, dealing with his own emotions would have to wait.

**NCIS**

Mark got home from work and walked into a very quiet house. There was no one in the kitchen helping with supper or doing homework at the table, no kids playing in the yard, no Cassie puttering around the music room or working on a project in the basement. Frowning, he took the steps two at a time and after peering in each room finally found McKenna sitting on the floor changing the outfit on Raya, the bear Ryan had given her, from overalls to a pink tutu. She looked up and smiled at him. "Hi Daddy."

He leaned against the doorframe. "Are you home alone?" It wasn't a serious question because Cassie would never leave their eight year old by herself.

McKenna shook her curly pigtails. "Nope."

"Did everyone disappear?"

She giggled. "No silly. Alec's at Wes's house playing basketball. Mommy said he could go."

Mark entered the room and crouched down to kiss her head. "Where is Mommy Hugs?"

She pulled Raya's arms through the sleeve holes. "On the porch with Grandma."

That knocked the breath out of Mark and he quickly checked his watch, closing his eyes in frustration. October 4, how could he have forgotten? He squeezed his daughter's shoulder. "I'm going to go talk to her, okay? Come find us if you need anything."

McKenna shrugged, totally absorbed in her task. "Okay."

Mark went back down the stairs slowly, a pool of dread growing in his stomach. They'd been married for a decade and a half, how did he not remember that today was the fourteen year anniversary of Cassie's mom's death? Every year since the first he'd brought home daisies for Cassie and after dinner they'd all sit at the table and take turns pulling off a petal. With each one would come a memory or story about Hannah McKenzie. It was one of the ways Cassie had tried to keep her mom alive for the kids, who'd never gotten to meet their grandmother. The tradition was important to his wife and this time he'd completely failed.

Taking a deep breath at the door, Mark went out and saw Cassie sitting on the swing holding her mom's picture. He felt awful, but slowly moved to join her, putting an arm around her shoulders. "I'm so sorry honey, I forgot the daisies. Do you want me to go get them?" He'd do just about anything to make it up to her.

Swallowing, Cassie shook her head. "No." She studied her mom's beloved features which had grown so dim in her memory during the long years since Hannah went to be with Jesus. She sighed. "I should've stopped doing that at ten years, but I just didn't want to let her go. It's...it's time now." She wiped at a tear. "I need to. It's not fair to any of you that I've held on so long."

Mark kissed her temple. "She was your mom Cass, we can't begrudge you the memories."

She set the frame aside and curled herself into his embrace. "I know," Cassie whispered, "and I love you for being so understanding." She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath, after which Mark began to feel a wet patch growing on his shirt. His wife didn't make a sound while she cried and they'd been married long enough for him to know that sometimes words only made it worse. Sometime later Cassie sat up and wiped her face, offering him a watery smile. "Would you be okay with hot dogs and Kraft Dinner for supper? Alec's eating with Wes."

He chuckled and helped her to her feet. "I guess the health nut in me will survive for one meal."

Cassie leaned up and kissed his cheek. "I love you Mark. Thank you."

His fingers brushed back soft wisps of hair. "Anytime." Mark brought his mouth to hers for a long, tender caress. "I love you," he whispered against her skin. "Forever and ever and ever."

That made her laugh, an old promise in reaction to her fears of what the initial grief after her mom's death was doing to their marriage, and she patted his chest. "Will you start the barbeque? McKenna and I like our hotdogs almost burnt."

Mark rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. Alec and I are the only normal ones in this family."

The comment earned him a swat on the arm and Cassie darted inside. He gave chase, grateful to see her joy reappear. Tonight could've been so much worse.

**NCIS**

McGee didn't think he'd ever been more thankful for the distraction of a case as he was when a call came in during the afternoon. Tony's mood had grown too solemn, Ziva was still so quiet, and the air in the squadroom felt stifling. Despite personal stuff obviously getting in the way, Tony took charge of the scene and began talking to witnesses and first responders after assigning Ziva to photos and McGee to perimeter. There was a lot to see, an intriguing if macabre story playing out in the area surrounded by police tape.

Once Ducky and Jimmy did an assessment and collected the body, Tony ordered a final sweep to make sure they hadn't missed anything before everyone got in the car and headed back to NCIS. It didn't escape Tim's notice that the SAIC left Ziva to do more research and background than anything else while he and Tony shouldered the heavier load of following leads, taking conference calls in MTAC, and trying to put a hundred tiny little pieces together to get a complete picture of what happened and why. Tony did, however, refuse to step foot in Autopsy, sending McGee down to collect Ducky's reports and hear his findings instead. When asked he simply went stonefaced and glared before walking away, leaving Tim feeling like he'd caught an eerie reflection of Gibbs. Being team leader had that effect on Tony.

There were more questions than answers by the time Tony finally shut off his monitor and leaned back to stretch. "Let's call it a night. Maybe fresh eyes in the morning will help."

McGee glanced at the clock, surprised to find that it was almost 2100. He'd lost track of the hours sometime after Abby called and demanded he take a break to share supper with her in the lab. Rubbing eyes sore from staring at his computer screen for hours, Tim grabbed his things and headed out. "See you tomorrow."

Tony and Ziva barely acknowledged the parting comment, so busy were they staring at each other. Ziva waited until the elevator doors slid shut, leaving them alone. "What is wrong?" He opened his mouth and she shook her head to forestall any brush off. "Do not say nothing, it would be a lie."

He sighed heavily. "At home, okay?" It took him a few minutes more to collect his backpack, jacket, weapon and badge, by which time Ziva was already waiting at the edge of the bullpen. Their strides matched for the short distance to the metal box that was their ride to the main floor and once closed behind thick steel doors Tony curled his fingers around hers and held on tight. It was only his imagination that her hand seemed thin, right? Too like the frail fingers he'd gasped in the car that first day back as he drove them home. Shaking the thought away, he looked down to make sure the appendage appeared normal and capable, just as it had been that morning when she pressed her palm against his skin. He felt on the edge of losing his sanity and fought hard to stay in the present instead of falling into the nightmare of almost losing her.

Able to tell that something was troubling him Ziva moved closer to her husband, trying to dredge up the resolve to fight his demons and hers too, but right now it would be a losing battle. At home Tony only made it a few steps inside the house before turning to face her. "Will you take a shower with me?" Her confusion grew at the request but Ziva nodded and followed him into the bathroom. Quite unlike what usually happened when they shared the space, Tony and Ziva traded off standing under the hot running water to complete their own separate washing and hair routines.

When both were clean and feeling a bit more relaxed, Tony lifted his hands to her face and brought his mouth to hers. She drank in the kiss greedily, seeking his strength but also his vulnerability, to open his heart and let her share whatever new burden he carried. Ziva slid her hands slowly up his muscled back, noting how incredibly gentle Tony's touch was as he mapped her back and sides like he'd somehow forgotten the well known terrain in the few days it had been since they last gave their bodies to each other.

At last cooling water forced the couple from their refuge and Tony didn't say a word until both donned comfortable pyjamas and were sitting on the bed. He left for a few seconds and came back holding a brown folder like the ones they handled every day, hesitating before opening it. "I want you to know I'm not doing this to hurt you honey, please believe me, okay?"

The question in her expression went unanswered as he spread the original pictures out and Ziva's breath caught, an indescribable pain etched into the coffee brown irises. She reached out to touch the corner of one showing her torso covered in angry red slashes and dark bruises and jerked back like it bit her. For a moment Tony let his wife absorb the devastation that had been wrought on her body, then one by one he covered the initial evidence up with the most recent photographs, one year and eight days since she'd come out of the camp.

Sinking onto the comforter beside her, Tony gestured to the collection. "Can't you see it Zi, how far you've come since those first days and weeks? When I look at these pictures all I see is your strength and endurance. There is no reason for you to feel ashamed and nothing here that you need to hide."

Ziva made a small noise in the back of her throat and clarity gradually returned to her haunted gaze, but he had to wait a long time before she spoke. "When he took the photos it was as if I could feel the scars all over again, each one as they carved it into my skin." She traced a few of the lines lightly. "I never...I never look at them. I get dressed with my back to the mirror. I do not let myself see anything until they are covered. When you...touched my back in the shower, washed the marks like you could wipe them away, it hurt inside Tony. Inside my heart because I want so badly to be beautiful for you and they tell me every day that I cannot. That I will never be the way I was before - strong and confident and desirable. I can never be that again."

Tony turned her face towards him, frowning deeply. "When did you start listening to those stupid lies instead of me?"

She preferred to look anywhere but him. "When Ducky reminded me they still exist and I could no longer imagine them away as I have tried to do when your hands do not hesitate at the scars and your lips do not shy away from them and you have never let me think your longing for intimacy with me is in any way diminished by their existence."

Hurt flashed clearly in her husband's gaze. "How can I get this through to you Ziva? I love you. Not a day goes by when I don't feel desire for you. All it takes it one taste of your lips to turn my brain to mush and I can't think of anything but more of you. I love when you tease me, how you love me, and the incredible faith I know it takes every time to grant me access to your body and trust I won't take advantage of that." He sighed. "Do you even hear me?"

Ziva's eyes grew shiny and she fought against the tears. "Sometimes," she whispered. "Sometimes I can even believe you, for a little while." Anger sparked through her gaze and she swept the photographs to the floor. "I hate them! I hate that I can never be rid of these reminders! They will never go away and so I can never forget." She tugged at her shirt clumsily and he caught her hands, worried that she might try to hurt herself. "I just want them gone Tony," Ziva whimpered. "I just want them to go away. Please."

Heart breaking, Tony guided her down across his lap and bent over, wrapping his arms around her quivering body. "Don't Ziva, please."

Her back shook with the sobs and he felt utterly helpless to do anything. The relief she longed for wasn't possible and for the first time he wondered if they needed to be thinking about plastic surgery somewhere down the line so she didn't have to look at the scars anymore. They were part of his wife, the woman he loved, and except for the nights he rubbed cream into each one Tony rarely spared them a conscious thought. He'd never realized how much she still carried them inside and it was an enlightening, if blindsiding, glimpse into her mind. A whole year and he'd never known she was struggling. It bothered Tony that he could've missed so much.

He kissed her neck. "I'm sorry I didn't know. I love you. I love you."

The storm, so violent and unexpected, passed just the same way and Ziva abruptly pushed away from him, wiping her cheeks and trying to find something to do with her hands, but she had to settle for dropping them to the bed. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "That was...that was silly."

Mossad reared its ugly head with all the things she wasn't allowed to feel and Tony shook his head. "It's not silly. Not if that's what it really looks like for you. I wish I'd known. Maybe I could've...done something."

She dropped her face into her hands, drawing her knees to her chest. "I am a mess."

He rubbed her leg. "I wouldn't say that. But if it's true, you're my mess." He tucked some hair behind her ear. "You don't have to have it all together for me Ziva. We're in this as a team. Partners, remember?"

Ziva peeked between two fingers. "You did not know what you were signing in for."

"Does anybody ever know when they make that jump?" Tony countered. "For better or for worse, I'm beginning to see they wrote that part for a reason."

"I wish there was more 'for better' than 'for worse'," she sighed.

"There will be," he promised. "And it means something special that we've made it here, to four years and two months, through more trials than a lot of couples know in fifty. We're going to get through this Ziva. And we'll be one of the most amazing success stories because we didn't give up."

"For you I wish I did not come with so many shadows ahava." She bit her lip and glanced at the floor. "I have been acting like a child."

"You've been acting like a woman who is hurting," Tony amended. "I understand that. It really worked me over to look at these pictures earlier today. I'd let myself forget how fragile you really were when you came back and to see again how close I came to losing you..." His jaw clenched. "Ziva, you have no idea what it is like to battle that fear. To sit across from you every day and not give into this desire wrap you up and keep you somewhere safe, somewhere you'll never get hurt or taken away from me again. It is so paralyzing sometimes that I can barley breathe. But then...you look at me and smile and I can make it through another hour, another day. Or you snuggle against me while we're falling asleep and I can feel you breathe and I realize we're okay. I don't think it's such a bad thing the way we need each other."

Tony didn't see her tears until Ziva closed the space between them and claimed his lips with hers. The living breathing warm loving woman in his arms chased away the dread and he let her lead them into a oneness they were both desperate for. It didn't go as smoothly as usual, many times Ziva had to stop him and let him talk her mind out of the desert and away from pain and shame and into the safety of their love. Tony tried as hard to be careful with her as he did to let them work through the weight of emotions that yearned for the deepest connection they could manage. Sleep was sparse that night, the couple waking from snippets of dark dreams and turning to each other for comfort and reassurance, thankful for the haven provided by their bond.

As he held his wife during the midnight hours Tony couldn't help but look back at how far they'd come. There was a time when he had hoped that healing would be a straight road with a definable end, but after a year of traveling the path he was finding a journey filled with twists and turns, hills and valleys, obstacles and triumphs. As much as they wanted it to be over, Tony and Ziva knew they weren't there yet, but slowly and surely they were covering ground and he had to consider it a victory that they were still walking step by step and hand in hand. That was the only way they were going to finally find their way out and back into the life they deserved.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday October 5**

Out of all three, Ducky was most surprised to find Tony and Ziva in the elevator when the doors slid open. Ziva held an open folder in one hand and they appeared to be going over the details of a new case the MCRT had gotten earlier that morning. But at the ding both froze, staring at him. Clearing his throat, the older man joined them in the car and a stiff silence enveloped the group. When no new floor was chosen, the doors closed and the elevator began its journey back to ground level.

After ascending for less than five seconds Ducky tripped the emergency stop switch and sighed heavily. "I owe you both an apology." Ziva seemed ready to refute that idea, while Tony crossed his arms and glared stormily. He still had yet to return to Autopsy since their conversation yesterday morning. The ME took his chances with the senior field agent's partner first. "Anthony was right when he told me I should've known better. We all saw how the anniversary, not to mention the awful dreams it triggered, was affecting you. I had no right to demand an examination directly on the heels of that trauma. I am sincerely sorry my dear."

Ziva's dark gaze flickered to Tony before coming to rest on Ducky. "Thank you Doctor. The reminder was...difficult, but I am doing better today."

"Due in no small part to your partner's efforts I'm sure." Dr. Mallard risked a small smile, then turned to the younger man. "I can only offer my apologies to you as well Anthony. Believe me when I say I will tread with great caution should the subject ever come up in future."

Tony wasn't quite as willing to forgive as his wife, he was so done seeing her in that vulnerable state, and his jaw remained clenched for an uncomfortably long time until Ziva just barely touched his arm. Then he dropped the stern stance and let out a breath. "Apology accepted," he grumbled.

Although he was on thin ice with the pair, Ducky noted with great interest the effect Ziva could have on her partner with such a simple gesture. It spoke volumes about something they shared just under the surface where no one had yet dug far enough to discover the details. He glanced between them and set the elevator in motion again, choosing the button for Lab and exiting without uttering another word. Enough had been said for now.

As soon as his back was turned Ziva slipped her hand into Tony's and he squeezed it gently, some of the weight lifting from his chest. They had a long way to go, but this was as good a place as any to start.

**NCIS**

Mark was more than a little surprised when his father in law, Matthew, was the one to step out the front door and greet him instead of his wife. His heart raced. "Where is she?"

Matthew gave him a knowing look. "Skating."

He released a breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding. "Of course."

The older man waved at him. "Go on. I've got things here. The kids known their routine."

Mark nodded. "Thanks." He jumped back in the car and headed for the small, private arena Cassie often turned to when she needed work through the heavy things in life.

Years ago, before she started college, his wife had trained seriously in figure skating. She'd been taking lessons almost since she could walk and had won several competitions, making a name for herself in her home community. But reality set in when it came time to choose a major. Cassie loved skating with her entire being, she felt free on the ice, the smell of arena air more familiar even than the scent of her own home. Music was also a love of her heart, though it didn't fill her the way flying around on thin, sharp blades did, and became her future because there was more of a chance for her to make a living in that field. He knew she missed figure skating almost desperately some days, however, her responsibilities were clear and for now the option didn't exist to return to it. Mark hoped, eventually, that he could give her back that dream. Until then it would have to wait.

She'd caught the girls between practices and was fortunate enough to have the place to herself for an hour. He found her sitting on a bench and pushing sock clad feet into white skates. For a moment he watched, but when she reached for the laces he went over and knelt in front of her, tugging firmly to tighten them and slowly working his way to the top. Cassie didn't say a word as he worked, offering only a small smile of thanks when her husband finished. She cupped his cheek and stepped onto the ice, gliding slowly to the center and taking her position.

Mark leaned his forearms on the wall and watched as she worked through a few of her old programs, executed nearly flawless jumps - the techniques as ingrained into her as breathing, and sailed around at breathtaking speed as she danced to music only she could hear. As always her grace and poise, the way she moved like she'd been born on skates, continued to amaze him even after all these years and he wished he could capture the pure delight in her expression.

Cassie's smile came freer after her time on the ice and she skated up to him, breathing hard but looking absolutely radiant. "What did you think?"

He pressed warm lips to her cold ones and rubbed his thumb over her cheekbone. "You've still got it babe."

"I'm glad you think so." Her former coach, however, would probably have something to say about all the skills she'd lost since she gave it up. She got off the ice and let Mark remove her skates, rubbing warmth back into her frozen feet.

"Kinda surprised I didn't find you here yesterday."

Cassie shrugged one shoulder. "You have no idea how badly I wanted to, but I couldn't leave Ken."

Mark frowned. "Why didn't you call? I would've changed my schedule if that's what you needed."

She tilted her head. "I can't be selfish about things like this Mark. You're working to provide for our family. I respect and admire you for that. I'm proud of your dedication. I wouldn't get in the way of it unless there was a real emergency."

Her face was suddenly and urgently framed by his large, gentle hands. "My job is not more important than you," he pointed out forcefully.

Cassie liked being able to feel his wedding ring when he touched her. "I knew that when you gave it up so we could move back here when Mom got sick." Their original plans for settling down in Columbus where Mark already had an established clientele and she'd been recommended for a great teaching job right out of her music program had gotten severely derailed with the news that her mother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and had opted not to spend her last days in the hospital. She would never forget the way Mark looked at her before she could even ask and said, _"It's okay Cass, we can go." _She learned more about sacrificial love with those six words than from anything she'd ever read or heard before.

Mark rested his forehead on hers. "Don't you know yet that you can tell me when you're struggling or sad or in pain?" Their first two years together were rough, but out of that time and sticking together a bond much stronger than any trial had been forged between them. He wondered sometimes if she just forgot he was supposed to be her safe haven in every storm. Truth be told, those moments hurt.

Her shoulders sagged and Cassie suddenly found the concrete bleachers fascinating. "Fourteen years. I guess I just figured you'd be sick of hearing that I miss my mom." She fingered the tight French braid keeping her long blonde curls contained. "I thought I could handle it on my own without bothering you this time."

He wanted to shake her. "And if I did the same? Hid away in the gym to brood because something was on my mind and I didn't want to burden you with it?"

She had the decency to look a little sheepish. "I'd hunt you down and do whatever it took to find out what was wrong no matter how much you wanted to keep it to yourself."

"Right answer." Mark tugged her braid. "So you'll do what part of this differently next time?"

Suitably chastened, Cassie managed a half-smile. "Maybe I'll start with texting you?"

He covered a smirk by clearing his throat. "Good plan." Holding his hand out for her knotted together skates, he slung one arm around her shoulders. "So now that your dad is at the house being thoroughly entertained by his grandkids, can I interest you in a walk and maybe some ice cream Mrs. Reese?"

She leaned into him. "You had me at ice cream." Her mom had believed in eating dessert first, Cassie enjoyed following that tradition. And tonight she was so thankful that she'd married this man, even if it had taken him two years to tell her he loved her. For him she would've waited forever.

**NCIS**

Tony got a text on Tuesday night while they were making supper. _What was going on Sunday D? We're all a little concerned._ He made a face and leaned back against the counter, tapping out a reply.

_Sorry Papa Smurf. Zi had a relapse last week and neither of us were handling it very well._

_Okay now?_ came the quick response.

He smiled at his wife and received an answering one. _Better. Definitely better._

_Good. Next time warn us Dante._

Tony chuckled. _It's not nice to steal other people's phones Cassie._

There was an angel emoticon in the following message. _How'd you know it was me?_

_You're the only person who uses my middle name._ And Mark was still in trouble for blabbing that one.

_Stop making me worry! _she ordered sternly, and he shook his head.

_I'll do my best. Night Cass._

_G'night. Tell Ziva I said hi._

_Will do._

Tony looked up. "Cassie says hi."

Her eyebrows rose. "Is that because I did not go to practice?"

He shook his head. "No. It's because I went and barely spoke ten words the whole time. Gotta appreciate people who love you enough to notice unusual behaviour and check up."

Ziva slid her arms around his waist. "We are very fortunate Tony, for both our families."

Tony kissed her head. "Yeah, we definitely are." After a minute he rubbed her back. "How are you doing, really?" The insight he'd gathered into her state of mind last night would stick close for a long time to come.

She leant up and touched her lips lightly to his. "I am getting there ahava. Each time I fall down that hole it takes some time to find my feet again."

He stroked her cheek. "I really wish one of them would be the last time."

"It will be. Someday." Ziva returned her attention to the simmering stew and Tony watched her cope for the thousandth time since September of 2009. He doubted he would ever have her strength.

That night each member of the group got a text - _Ziva had a setback last week but she's doing better now. It wouldn't hurt to keep them in your prayers._ Meeting the needs of each member was an important part of being chosen family.

_Replies:_

_Guest - don't worry, there is lots more of this story to tell. So far there are just over 30 chapters sketched out for this part, I just have to get them all finished now. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_earanemith - oh, okay, just checking. I'd hate for someone to miss the rest of the story. Wow, you've read the series more than once? Thanks! That's a huge compliment :) I'm glad you're enjoying it. Don't ever be scared to review, I love hearing from my readers, questions and comments and what people think. That's what makes this whole journey worth it for me :) Yeah, this was an unexpected rough patch for Ziva. Haha...Celeste is a romantic but she's got a hard case selling that to Gibbs. Yes, I'm a Christian so it's nice to be able to write OCs that share my faith :) Your writing it just fine. You're very brave to review in a language that is not your first. I always admire people that can do that. Unfortunately I am very mono-lingual but I've always wished I knew more than one language. Thanks for your patience and for reviewing, I appreciate both! :) ~Aliyah_

_JJElliott - well, thank you for reviewing this time then :) Really, top 3? That's so cool, thanks! I'm really glad you like the series that much. Haha...yeah, I'm not known for being short-winded or concise. Ah, yes, the reveal comes in Part 7, which is my AU version of what happens with T&amp;Z and the team after the explosion at the end of S9. So you've got awhile to wait yet. But there is lots of interesting stuff coming up in this part of the story and the next part (Summer 2011) covers Tony's assignment and T&amp;Z being separated during that time so plenty to look forward to. Thanks! ~Aliyah_

_chloe - sometimes there is a long wait between updates because I'm trying to sort out story stuff or there is just too much else going on in my life to have time to write, sorry about that. I'm glad you're caught up on the story now and it's so ni ce to hear that you are enjoying it :) I don't know how much credit I can take, the inspiration comes from God and I just follow and listen to my characters for what to write. I see the story like a movie playing in my head, which makes it easier. I have most of Part 5 planned out but there's a lot to add in still and I don't want to miss anything so I'm taking my time and trying to be careful. You are very welcome for the stories, I love being here and being part of this wonderful community. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_mishka (Coming Home) - Thank you :) I'm glad you liked it. Re-reading is a high compliment for authors, so thank you again. ~Aliyah_

_marigoldmom (Coming Home) - I know, I'm finding less and less Tiva stories on FF and I miss them :( Wow, you're reading SMH again? Thank you. That's such a compliment! I'll be writing as long as God lets me be here, I enjoy it so much. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_NCISTIVA4EVA - my apologies once again. I often get caught up in organizing details and thinking ahead to the rest of the story which makes it hard for me to concentrate on writing. It has been ages since the last update and I do feel bad about that. I'm really glad you can see my story in the show, that makes me feel like I'm doing something right. I know. It was a poor choice on Ducky's part, but even people who know better make mistakes. I try to write realistically and real life definitely has its bumps. There will be rough waters over the next few months for T&amp;Z to navigate, but things will smooth out by the new year. Lol...you can leave reviews under your actual account if you want, or the same name as a guest, I won't think you're desperate. I don't get offended when people ask me to update, it's encouraging to know people are still looking forward to the story. I'm trying for a chapter a month at the moment, but hopefully at some point I'll be able to get back to a more regular schedule. Thanks for taking the time to review! :) ~Aliyah_


	5. 8x2 Worst Nightmare 2

_A/N: This chapter is a bit heavy on background for Jordan and Allie. If you're not really interested in the group feel free to skip that part, you're not going to miss any important story details. I do my best not to let the frat gang take over too often, but sometimes they surprise me. Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter guys, it's great to hear what you think :) Lots of love, ~Aliyah_

_PS. Unavoidable life stuff made this chapter late. I should know better by now than to try and predict posting dates. See you next time, whenever that may be._

**Wednesday October 6**

A cryptic note appeared on Tony's desk when he and Ziva returned from lunch, eaten outside in the sunshine and fresh air while the temperature was still relatively mild. _Evidence garage, 1330. AP_. Not wanting the others to see it, Tony slipped the small piece of paper into his top drawer and sat down to work on his pile of paperwork, now doubled in size from all of the Team Leader responsibilities. At 1315 he faked a call to his desk phone from his cell and did the usual, "Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Yeah, uh huh. Really? Why? Okay, fine." He hung up and sighed. "Evidence needs to verify my signature. Seems they misplaced the original card."

Neither McGee nor Ziva questioned his exit and Tony made a quick trip to the coffee cart parked near the main doors before heading downstairs. Jimmy was already waiting, two tall white cups of Jamaican Mocha sitting on the table by a spread of odds and ends from whatever the evidence garage people were currently working on. Tony pushed the small bag towards his co-conspirator. "Custard eclair. Figured I owed you for Monday."

Jimmy peeked inside and gave a single nod. "You had a lot on your mind. How's Ziva?"

Tony sipped his coffee, the brew so hot it scalded his tongue. He coughed. "Better than I could've hoped for, considering."

"I heard Dr. Mallard talked to you. Does that mean you're not avoiding us anymore?"

His jaw clenched. "I had a right to be angry Palmer."

"Want to tell me about that?" Jimmy asked, picking up a tube with three different coloured wires protruding from it.

"More than anything," Tony confided. "But there's too much at stake."

The Autopsy assistance glanced his way. "I'm nobody's source." No one would even think that awkwardly innocent Jimmy Palmer knew anything more than what had happened to their current body.

Tony sighed heavily. "If this was anything else Jimmy, you'd be the first to know. But I...can't." He wanted to. During his brief-lived stint as Team Leader of the MCRT after Gibbs' Mexican departure the Autopsy Gremlin had become a trusted confidant. However, a secret like the one he and Ziva had could only be handled under Rule 4 - The best way to keep a secret, keep it to yourself. Second best, tell one other person if you must. There is no third best.

Jimmy blew on his coffee and took a cautious sip, still speaking in a low voice. "I understand. Rule 4. Agent Gibbs has a point."

The older man swirled his finger through a pile of nuts, bolts, washers, and screws. "How much of those pictures did you see?"

"Enough. I don't know how she...survived." Tony looked at him sharply. There hadn't been that many details in the photos. Jimmy exhaled. "After you sent me back downstairs I pulled Dr. Mallard's initial report from her first check up." He held up a hand, interrupting the rebuke he could see coming. "I'm aware that it was probably none of my business, but I had to know." The glasses came off to be rubbed free of smudges on his scrub shirt. "She shouldn't be here Tony. According to the damage he compiled she should've been dead weeks before you arrived."

Tony closed his eyes. "If she died before we got to her, I would've joined her."

That truth made Jimmy bobble his coffee and he swallowed hard. "Did anybody else know it was a suicide mission?"

"McGee assumed. Gibbs suspected. I didn't have a reason to come back."

Jimmy spent a few moments in quiet contemplation. "Do you really love her that much?"

Tony turned and pointed at him, but his words were without malice. "That, _Agent_ Palmer, is classified." He started back towards the elevator. "Thanks for the coffee."

The younger man smiled slightly. "Anytime."

**NCIS**

Allie got home after a long day of interns driving her nuts and running herself ragged for a boss who needed everything now for the case he was working. She was tired and just wanted to sit down and spend a quiet evening with her husband. Jordan heard her steps and had the door open before she even put her key in. Their lips met in a kiss savoured by both and Allie leaned into him for a long hug.

He sighed into her hair. "So I guess this wasn't the best night for me to tell Aria it was okay to drop by." Allie looked up and Jordan winced. "She called as soon as I got back and wondered if she could come for dinner after her class. We haven't seen her in a couple weeks so I said okay."

Jordan was acting like a man in trouble. Allie smiled and touched his cheek. "If I can sit down for fifteen minutes before I have to cook, I won't say another word."

He grinned in relief and escorted her to the couch. "Your chaise, Mrs. Lewis."

She flopped gracelessly onto the suede sofa, kicking off her shoes and sinking into the plush cushions with eyes closed. "Thank you."

Jordan leaned down to kiss her again. "I love you."

Her lips curved slightly. "That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day." He went to leave but her fingers curled around his jacket. "Can you stay here for a few minutes? I've looked forward to being held since I left the office."

Wearing a very pleased expression she couldn't see, Jordan sat down close beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Allie cuddled against his side, feeling the warmth of his body through his shirt and listening to his heart beat. It was often how they unwound, just needing to be together when they spent so many long hours during the day apart. Normally he carefully guarded their evenings, but Aria was a very important part of his life too and he always strived to make time for sister and wife.

Aria and Jordan had a special relationship despite the fifteen year age difference between them. She was a total surprise and unexpected blessing for their family while her brother was in high school. Jordan loved her from the first meeting, though it was sometimes embarrassing to explain her to friends, being so much younger. They were inseparable until he went to college at eighteen, something he came very close to changing his mind about when their mother left only weeks after Aria's third birthday, deciding nearly two decades into marriage that she couldn't take the pressure or expectations of being a judge's wife any longer.

That event changed many things in the Lewis household, the first of which was their father's job. Henry Miller was a judge and very involved in politics, which was where Jordan got his love of it from. Jordan grew up in DC and decided very early on that he wanted to be recognized someday for his own skills, not his father's reputation, so he rarely mentioned whose son he was. As soon as he began making a name for himself on the bench, Henry began to worry about protecting his family, knowing how grudges could be held against judges and that their loved ones might suffer the consequences. With that in mind, the children were raised under his wife's mother's maiden name so there was less of a chance they could be connected to him and he kept his family out of the public eye.

Despite the strong feelings he had about his wife's abrupt departure, which devastated both their little girl and almost grown son, Henry never let even a hint of bitterness taint how he treated his children. The very next day he made arrangements for a two year leave of absence so he could be home to raise Aria until she started Kindergarten. Being the kind of person he was, Jordan determined to stay and help but Henry urged him not to give up the opportunity for college and following his dreams. Reluctantly Jordan agreed and the hardest part of all was explaining to his sister that he was leaving too. He couldn't stand the thought of Aria thinking she'd been abandoned by two people who were supposed to love her and used a large chunk of his hard earned money to purchase a used car so he could come back to spend every long weekend and holiday with her.

The first several months were rough, but with young children things eventually become out of sight, out of mind. Aria gradually stopped asking about Mommy and enjoyed her time as the center of Daddy's attention. Henry put away all photos of his soon to be ex-wife and anything that might remind Aria of her, but saved everything in case either of his children wanted them in the future. Once Aria started school things improved. She was a social butterfly, always surrounded by friends, and bonded quickly with Maria, the nanny Henry engaged when he returned to work, though he completely rearranged his schedule to be available for whatever Aria needed. The two were best of friends for years, until Henry met a wonderful lady named Chelle and married her two years after Aria's tenth birthday. Sensitive to the situation, Chelle was content to take things slow and Henry talked at length to both his children before even entertaining the thought of making her part of their family.

Chelle became a wonderful addition to their lives - sweet, always smiling, great sense of humour, loving. She had no expectations that either of the kids would call her 'Mom', but accepted the title with great joy from Aria just twelve months after the wedding. Jordan liked her a lot, but felt he was too old to start calling anyone else Mom. Though at that point it had been ten years since his mother left, he still felt the sting of that betrayal and the ache of her baffling abandonment. She never said goodbye and while Aria didn't remember, he did. Jordan never stopped wondering why.

One of the highlights of his college years was when his dad brought Aria to Ohio with him to attend the graduation ceremony. Jordan didn't know his sister would be coming, assuming Henry would leave her with Maria, and wore the biggest grin ever when he saw seven year old Aria jumping up and down and waving from her place in the audience while he received his diploma. The next couple days were busy as he packed his things and prepared to leave Columbus, but Jordan spent any downtime he had with Aria, showing her where he lived and proudly introducing her to the guys who had been hearing about her on a very regular basis for the last four years.

Saying goodbye to the gang was hard but it also meant being home with Aria all the time instead of just occasionally, which was a pretty big compensation for the new graduate. Jordan moved back into his dad's house and immediately started an internship which ate up a lot of his time. Aria was ecstatic to have him as close as the end of the hall again and claimed any free time he had after he got home. He spent a lot of hard work, sweat, and tears getting himself established in the political community, and finally decided to get his own place at twenty-five.

That was a season of changes for Aria, as Chelle entered their lives around the same time, and she required constant reassurance of their love and attention, something that often caused her behaviour to suffer. But father, son, and daughter worked through it together as they had every other issue in the last decade. Being out of the house gave Jordan the ability to focus much more single-mindedly on his job, but he'd also purposely chosen an apartment not too far from home, letting him still be around enough to be his little sister's hero.

Their relationship became strained when he started dating Allie, something Aria wanted no part of. She had always been the center of her brother's attention and was not the least bit happy to have someone else taking a portion of that attention away. Jordan had to talk to her a lot, reassuring her that nothing would ever change his love for her, not even a girlfriend, and that there was room in his heart for both of them. He went out of his way to take her places and try to make her feel special but laid a very clear ground rule that he wouldn't tolerate her being rude to Allie.

They were casually dating for an entire year before Aria was finally able to be okay with it, and once she let herself like Allie the older woman became like a big sister to her, often doing things just the two of them and going on outings together where Jordan wasn't invited. Despite the special relationship that grew to exist between Allie and Aria, they were still a little nervous about her reaction to their engagement. Thankfully though, Aria was one of their biggest supporters, even asking Jordan what took him so long. What started as a disaster became a success and he was always thankful it turned out that way.

While the clock ticked away minutes that should've been spent in preparation for the meal, Allie thought back to her move from Washington State to the nation's capital, and later, the first time she met her husband's much younger sister.

Allie came from a big family. There was her brother Brian who was four years older; Olivia, whom she narrowly missed sharing the same birth year with; her brother Jeff, younger by three years; and her baby sister Emily, born nine years after him when they were beginning to think their family was complete. All the siblings were very close and got along well with their parents, so it was quite a surprise when Allie announced, after a few years of working in a local law office where she started once school was finished, that she planned to move all the way across the country. Out of all of them, only Brian seemed to understand her need for space, to spread her wings, find a bit of independence, and try something new, and he supported her willingly when the others were reluctant to let go.

She'd already sent out resumes and accepted a job in DC before telling her family about her decision so it was too late to back out. Leaving was harder than they'd ever know, but Allie felt she had to see what was out there, beyond the borders of her safe little world. Terrified and trying to hide it, she gave each person one last hug and stepped aboard her first airplane, clutching her ticket and praying for courage. She arrived in January, shy, alone, and wondering if she'd made the biggest mistake of her life by leaving home. But she didn't want to admit she might be in over her head, so she determined to stick it out.

The first order of business was to find a church - somewhere smaller, real, that reminded her of the faith community she'd grown up in. Over the next few months, as she settled into her tiny apartment and tried to do the best she could at her new job, Allie tried a few different churches but not until she walked in the doors of Faith Missionary did she finally relax, discovering within moments that home could be more than one place as she was welcomed and greeted with the same kind of love that had been present in her original church family.

Despite the familiar feel of the church Allie still felt a bit out of place as she entered the sanctuary and chose a seat near the back, her habit to hide in a crowd rather than mingle. A few rows ahead a young blonde woman caught her eyes and smiled. Allie briefly returned the expression before opening the bulletin and reading the announcements. She liked the music, enjoyed the pastor's sermon even though he gave the congregation a few tough questions to ask themselves over the next week, and retreated home at the end, though not without several people introducing themselves to her. New faces were always noticed in close knit groups.

She went back the next week and this time the blonde woman came up to her, holding a tiny baby in her arms. "Hi," she said with a bright smile, "I couldn't help but notice you look a little lost. My name's Cassie and this is my daughter McKenna." Cassie pointed up the aisle to a brown-haired man who waved, catching dark-headed toddler before he could escape between his legs. "My husband Mark, and that little rascal is Alec. Would you like to sit with us? I promise we don't bite."

Feeling a little awkward, Allie nonetheless agreed because it was the polite thing to do and she'd never been more grateful for a decision. Over the next few weeks the two women got to know each other and eventually started going out for coffee after church and talking like they'd known each other all their lives. Soon Cassie invited Allie to volunteer with her in the nursery once a month and Allie quickly formed a friendship with Cassie and her family. It wasn't until she'd been around for more than a year that Cassie introduced her to Jordan, one of Mark's good friends from college. Allie could tell by the close attention he paid that he was interested and had a feeling Cassie was the reason. She could be a fount of information when she wanted.

As much as he was a nice guy, and boy did she ever find the red hair attractive, at that point Allie wasn't looking for a relationship. Jordan went to his parent's church most of the time but made it a point to visit Mark and Cassie's on occasion, which translated to about four times a year. Since she'd managed that length of time without running into him before, Allie naively assumed she'd be able to continue doing so. But Jordan had other ideas and soon became a semi-regular - not only at church but at Mark and Cassie's, coincidentally on the same days that Allie planned to be there.

After a serious, sit down talk with her best friend in which she told Cassie she really wanted to focus on strengthening her relationship with God, being a diligent worker, and making sure she could take care of herself, the latter agreed to stop pushing. Cassie didn't, however, say she would stop trying. It was almost a year after their first introduction that Jordan finally convinced Allie to go out with him and even then she was hesitant. She'd never been in a relationship, the entire concept made her nervous, there were so many ways to make a mess of things, so she kept the brakes on pretty firmly, only saying yes to a couple of dates per month, until she could see how it played out. Regardless of her reluctance, it wasn't too much longer before Mark and Cassie could see the writing on the wall. However, it took the other couple exceptionally more time to come to the same conclusion.

Meeting Aria was actually an entirely unplanned event - she crossed paths with the brother and sister duo while running in the park one day. They were getting ice cream from a truck across the street and Jordan waved her over. "Hey Allie." He looked thrilled to see her, his sister did not. "Can I interest you in a post-work out treat?" Since they weren't yet at a place in their relationship that allowed for open shows of affection, he had to settle for a grin that displayed his heart.

Allie shook her head, taking out earbuds and turning off the music. "Thanks, but that would kind of defeat the point of putting out all this effort." She looked expectantly at the young woman beside him. "I think I can guess who this is, but you should probably introduce me just in case."

Jordan slid his arm around his sister's waist. "Allie, Aria, my little sister."

She elbowed him. "Not so little anymore," the seventeen year old grumbled.

He ignored her. "Aria, this is Allie, the girl I've been seeing."

Aria practically glared at her competition for Jordan's attention. He'd been talking way too much about this Allie person for longer than she cared to remember and it was causing a great deal of possessiveness to rise up in her. "Hi," she spat, looping her arm through Jordan's and making a very strong non-verbal point.

Allie studied the younger woman - bright copper hair falling in layers around her face, green eyes that matched her brother's - they made a very striking pair. "It's nice to finally meet you. Jordan talks about you all the time."

Aria tossed her hair. "That's funny, he's hardly mentioned you at all."

Jordan turned an aghast look on his sister. "Aria." The tone of voice was a warning but she didn't care.

"We have to go now," she announced. "Bye."

Allie watched with mixed amusement and apprehension as Aria grabbed her brother's hand and dragged him away. He tossed a confused look over his shoulder but waited to make a scene until they were around the corner.

"Hey," he snapped, letting go of her hand, "what's gotten into you?"Aria shrugged one shoulder. "That was really rude Aria. And after all the time I've waited for you two to meet."

She licked her melting chocolate cone slowly. "She's really not your type, you know. I mean, running around all hot and sweaty? And did you see the way she practically threw herself at you? Really, it was a bit embarrassing."

Jordan looked at his sister like she'd grown another head as the pieces clicked. "Are you kidding me? How can you possibly be jealous of her?"

_Because she's taking you away from me_, sounded kind of childish, but Aria still had to bite her tongue to keep from blurting it out. "I don't like her Jay."

He sighed. "Yeah, I got that. What I don't know is why." He was torn between shaking some sense into her and running back to apologize to Allie. But he'd promised this afternoon to his sister and he was careful to never break his word to her. "Let's just go home," he decided. "I don't really feel like ice cream anymore."

The easy closeness between them disappeared in favour of sober silence and Aria's shoulder's sagged for a minute, then she straightened them. It was Allie's fault, she was getting in the way, and it was time to put a stop to that.

For awhile Aria did everything in her power to keep them apart but Jordan would have none of it and set her straight in no uncertain terms. They'd come a long way since those first uncertain months and now Allie was happy to say she counted her younger sister in law not just as family, but as a friend as well.

A knock on the door broke through Allie's reverie and she groaned. "So much for supper."

Jordan moved faster and swung the door open, enveloping his baby sister in a hug. "Hey Bug, how are things in the life of overworked grad students?"

Aria rolled her eyes. "Overworked is right. The semester just started and already I'm drowning in research. I'm never going to make it." She glimpsed her sister-in-law, who'd finally made it off the couch, and threw her arms around the older woman. "Allie! I've missed you. We really need to go out for coffee again soon, okay?"

Allie's blue eyes twinkled. "More boy stories Brat?" It was said with love, quite unlike the first time she'd labeled the young woman with that title.

"Whoa!" Jordan's eyebrows jumped up. "What about boys?" He stared at his wife. "You didn't tell me anything about my sister and boys." His gaze swivelled back to Aria. "I don't know I'm ready for you to be talking about boys."

Aria sighed. "And he can't figure out the reason I don't share personal stuff."

"I remember the first time you tried to get a date by him," Allie chuckled.

"If you ever wonder why I have no social life Jay, all you have to do is look in the mirror."

"That didn't seem to stop you from getting all dolled up last weekend for the birthday party your friends threw," Jordan countered.

Aria's eyes narrowed. "What are you, Facebook stalking me now?" She turned to her sister in law. "Allie, do something about him."

"Jordan, give your sister a little breathing room please. She is twenty-two years old now."

"Twenty-three," Aria was quick to correct. For some reason this most recent birthday was very important to her.

He wrinkled his nose. "Are you sure? Because the last time I checked you were fifteen and sneaking out your bedroom window to see if you could do it without getting caught."

The copper haired girl sighed and dropped her things on the bench by the door, disregarding Jordan for the moment. "Can I help?"

Allie smiled apologetically. "I'm afraid we haven't even got as far as picking a dish to make. Did you feel like anything in particular?"

"Grilled cheese?" Aria offered, grinning at her brother. She never held a grudge for very long. "Remember Twerp?" The siblings adored each other, but their nicknames for one another were not exactly under the sweet category.

Jordan ruffled her pixie cut. "Don't you mean 'girled cheese' Bug? It took years to break you of that."

"I was like, three," Aria defended heatedly.

"But the best part was," he continued, completely ignoring her, "I'd make her one and she'd proceed to pull it apart to see what was inside. What did you think was inside a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"I'm not talking to you anymore." She turned to Allie. "I'll butter bread if you cut the cheese. I can't cut an even slice to save my life."

"Seems to me I've heard that before," Allie smiled, twisting her hair back in a loose bun before opening the fridge. It wasn't exactly the night she had planned but sometimes what you thought you needed was the opposite of what you really needed. And tonight she needed to listen to her husband and his sister tease and laugh and reminisce about old times. There was no better entertainment.

**NCIS**

**Thursday October 7**

"Anthony, wait." Tony was turning to leave Autopsy after signing off on Ducky's report when the ME reached into a glass case of supplies and withdrew a small blue jar. Ducky extended it to him. "For Ziva. I would assume she is almost through with the last one."

Tony stared at the peace offering for a long moment before accepting and pocketing the cream. "Thanks." In the elevator he pulled it out, thinking back to the first time after Somalia when Ziva willingly bared her scars to him and let him apply the soothing cream that was supposed to make her pain less visible. While the car rose to bullpen level Tony remembered many nights before bed when he held the little container and gently rubbed it into his wife's skin. Strange that so many emotions could be attached to a small, innocuous jar.

Back upstairs he set it on Ziva's desk since McGee was nowhere to be seen. Her eyebrows rose. "How did Ducky know we just finished the last of it yesterday?"

Tony crouched beside her. "He can't. But he's trying to make up for last week."

She studied the cream. "He already apologized. Further penance is not required."

"I think it should be."

Ziva tilted her head. "Tony."

His jaw clenched. "You think I'm just going to forget four days of you being so lost inside yourself that you couldn't even talk to me or respond to my touch? Or that breakdown on Monday night? Not happening."

"It will only get worse if you dwell on it." Her fingers curled over his forearm. "I'm sorry about the second part." He was always so patient when Somalia interfered and wrecked her ability to be intimate with him, but there was only so much a man, a husband, could be expected to take. "Perhaps tonight..."

Tony jerked away from her. "I'm not interested in pity sex Ziva." The words came out louder than he intended and both looked around to see if anyone noticed.

She shook her head and lowered her voice. "I did not mean it that way. I am not offering sex because I feel sorry for you, I am offering out of my love for you."

"Oh." He took a minute to differentiate between the two and decided he could live with that. But, as usual, their moment was interrupted when McGee returned with a Nutterbutter. Tony squeezed Ziva's fingers briefly. "We'll come back to this later," he murmured, heading to his desk.

"Probie!" he snapped. "What did you find out from Abby?"

Because work was important, some even more important things would have to wait.

**NCIS**

CJ was almost asleep when she felt eyes on her. "Brent," she murmured, "you're staring."

"Can't help it," he stated unapologetically. "This still feels like a dream."

Her lips twitched. "We've been married a whole month and you aren't sure this is real?" CJ leaned over and kissed him, then got comfortable on her side, facing her husband with her eyes closed. "We're married. I love you. Go to sleep."

Brent's hand settled on her hip, where it had almost every night since the first one they spent together. She had a difficult time sleeping if they tried to cuddle, but that she could handle and CJ was surprised how fast such a small gesture had become a comfort. He scooted a little closer and brushed his lips over hers. "I love you too honey." She waited several minutes to see if that was the end of the conversation, and when his breathing deepened and evened out, CJ smiled. This was the good life.

**NCIS**

**Friday October 8**

Ziva was standing outside the bullpen, arms resting of top of the partition beside his desk as she observed McGee in tour guide mode, when Tony walked off the elevator. He stopped just shy of his wife, maintaining an appropriate physical distance for co-workers even though he was still in charge and their level of vigilance didn't need to be the same as when Gibbs was always watching.

"I won," she murmured for his benefit.

Tony frowned. "The car must've stopped at every freaking floor between ground level and the bullpen. Not my fault."

"You owe me lunch," Ziva continued, ignoring his very legitimate excuse.

"Why's that?"

"Because if you had not made it a challenge and just taken the stairs with me, we would've arrived at the same time."

Her logic, as usual, was stated in a rather undeniable fashion and he sighed. "Fine. And because it's a nice day out, the boss might even see fit to let us linger for forty-five minutes instead of the usual thirty."

That indulgence earned him one of her full smiles, the heart stopping kind that made him catch his breath, and Tony glanced away in an effort to resist the rising temptation to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless. He cleared his throat. "What's going on here? We being replaced with younger models?"

"That would imply there is something wrong with the old models," Ziva replied, fiddling with her earring. Tony couldn't take it any longer and discreetly looked both ways before sliding his hand up to rest on her lower back. He wanted to slip his hand under her shirt but didn't think she'd let him get away with that out in the open. To her credit she didn't acknowledge the stolen contact. "We are not being replaced. They are from Waverly University."

He suddenly remembered the inter-office memo that had been floating around for the last couple weeks. "Oh yeah, that's right. Director Vance's internship program." Tony shook his head. "Not a good idea. It feeds McGee's need for groupies."

Tony started to move towards them but she stopped him by wrapping her hand around his arm. "Oh, let him have some fun Tony. It is not often he gets to be in charge."

Unable to argue with something that let him stay in her space a few minutes longer, he watched as McGee gave them the two dollar tour. Then he couldn't help himself and sauntered over. "I wouldn't get too comfortable. Didn't Agent McGee tell you there's a strict no-intern policy on Team Gibbs?"

McGee stifled the urge to roll his eyes. "This is our senior field agent and temporary team leader while Agent Gibbs is on leave - Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo."

At this point Ziva joined him. More, Tony suspected, to curb his mocking behaviour than from a desire to be introduced.

"So why shouldn't we get too comfortable?" an unawed member of the group asked.

Ziva jumped in before Tony could begin to expound on the legend that was their boss. "Agent Gibbs is not very...fond of outsiders."

"He's not going to like you," Tony added bluntly.

"Tony," McGee warned, but he'd never been very good at listening.

"Why not?" the girl inquired.

He chuckled. "I would answer that little lady, but even though he's currently four hours away in his hometown replacing windows and hanging pegboard he would appear behind me the moment I started talking about him and make me regret it."

"That so DiNozzo?" Gibbs' voice drawled behind him.

Tony almost jumped out of his skin and spun around fast enough to throw himself off balance. "Boss! You're back!" He clutched at his chest. "You've got to stop doing that Gibbs, I'm going to have a heart attack here."

"Have it somewhere else." He eyed McGee and Ziva. "Gear up. We've got some kind of gas leak at Quantico." Gibbs grabbed his gun and badge and stared the interns down, waiting until a couple started fidgeting nervously before he handed out their assignments.

As they followed him out Ziva turned to Tony. "We're keeping them?"

"Yup," Gibbs answered. "For the whole week."

All three members of Team Gibbs exchanged glances. This was new. And potentially bad. New and Gibbs was a bad idea. It meant the unknown and a lot of uncomfortable wondering why for them. Being demoted without a word and having Gibbs change things up in the first fifteen minutes of the day didn't sit well. But then something else happened and it was the kind of new Tony thought maybe he could get used to.

"Just talked to the director, he briefed me on the cases you handled in my absence." Gibbs sipped his coffee. "Five incidents, five dirt bags off the street. Good job DiNozzo."

Tony grinned and Ziva bumped him gently with her hip. It sure was nice to be appreciated for a change.

**NCIS**

Gibbs was with the director and McGee collaborating with Abby when Tony came back from the breakroom and found Ziva pacing along the windows outside the bullpen. He did his usual sweep of the area to determine the threat level for getting personal and cupped her elbow. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She looked up and frowned. "A child is missing Tony. Nothing could be more wrong."

"I know. I didn't mean it like that."

Ziva rubbed her wrists, a stress tell she'd developed when the bruises faded but scarred rope burns remained. "I cannot think of anything worse...to not know about your child...Tony." She reached out to grasp a handful of his shirt and hesitated, aware of what a compromising position it would be should they get caught.

He stepped a little closer to give her permission to drop the agent side of herself and considered moving this meeting to the more private moving office they'd utilized on more than one occasion. His fingers caressed the soft skin just above her elbow. "It's probably hitting you harder this time because you've been thinking about the possibility of becoming a mother, right?"

They were only two-thirds of the way through their first year of saving for invitro and didn't yet have enough money for one try, but the fact that it was a goal being actively worked towards made the idea a little more real for Ziva. "Yes," she whispered. "And at this moment I have never been more grateful that we do not have children Tony, because I could not survive something like this."

Tony's signature half-grin appeared. "You mean whoever was involved wouldn't survive, right?"

Ziva pushed away from him. "Can you not be serious for just one moment?!" she demanded.

He caught her before she got too far. "I am being serious. A ninja for a mom and a cop for a dad? No kid would be more protected and no bad guy would ever pay more dearly than the one who crossed us. We can keep a child safe sweetheart."

"You cannot promise that," she argued, her eyes flitting to the picture of the little girl on the plasma. "She must be so scared."

"We're gonna get him Zi," Tony said firmly. "And she will go home safe to her grandfather tonight. There are no other options."

"No," Ziva agreed, heading back to her desk. "There aren't." Whoever did this was going to be sorry.

**NCIS**

At bedtime, after he'd finished reading a chapter in his newest library book and when Brent was getting ready to tuck him in, Ryan looked at his dad with a solemn expression. "Mom and I used to have pancakes for breakfast on Saturday."

Brent nodded. "I remember."

Ryan drew his finger over the basketballs on his comforter. "I love our family, but I miss what we used to do."

Since both he and CJ had been waiting for reality to catch up to their son, things had been a little bit too easy since they returned from their honeymoon, Brent wasn't surprised by the admission. Frankly, he was relieved the boy was finally being honest about how he felt. "I wondered if you might," he answered, smoothing back Ryan's hair. "What do you want to do about it?"

Ryan bit his lip. "Can we have pancakes in the morning?" It had been a tradition for most of his life, though until their return to DC Saturday breakfast had been followed by a visit with Aunt Kate instead of time spent with his grandparents.

"Absolutely," Brent grinned, glad for something easy he could fix. "I bet your mom misses it too." He thought for a moment. "Should we see if you can go and spend part of the day with Gram and Grandpa too?"

The boy's eyes lit up. "Really?" He'd barely seen them in the last month with so much going on and everyone getting settled. The project he'd been working on in Grandpa's shop had been neglected since the beginning of the summer and he was anxious to finish it.

"I'll ask your mom to call them tonight and we'll let you know when you wake up. How's that sound?"

"Great!" Ryan relaxed, having gotten the confession off his chest now. "Thanks Dad."

Brent bent to kiss his son's forehead. "Anytime buddy. Don't ever think you can't ask me stuff, okay?"

He rolled over and tucked Mr. Boo under one arm. "Okay. Good night."

"G'night Ry. I love you."

Ryan peeked one eye open. "All the way to the moon?" That was his mom's favourite line.

Brent chuckled. "All the way to the moon, definitely."

"Good. Love you."

The older man closed the door and let out a breath. Truly becoming a family would take time, but he was willing to do whatever it took to make this work. CJ and Ryan were everything he'd ever wanted.

**NCIS**

**Saturday October 9**

Ryan set down the woodburner and surveyed his work so far. "Do you think Mom and Dad are going to like it Grandpa?"

Roger set his hands on the boy's shoulders. "I think they're going to love it. And they'll be so proud of you for making it yourself, just like I am."

"Thanks." Ryan picked up one of the small paintbrushes Gram let him borrow. "I missed coming here."

"We missed you being around Sport. It's been awfully quiet in the house with just Gram and me." After having their grandson in the same city for such a short time, he and Laurel had found it challenging not to butt in and demand that they didn't get cut out completely in the wake of this new family Brent and CJ were creating.

Ryan concentrated on getting inside the lines of the flower petals for several moments, then he glanced at his grandfather. "Dad said maybe every Saturday, if you and Gram aren't busy?" He'd been so excited to hear that, jumping up and down and causing Cody to get in on the fun.

Roger ruffled his hair. "Gram and I are never too busy to spend time with you Ryan. So yes, every Saturday if you'll have us."

The grin practically split Ryan's face. "I will!" He had to stop painting for a minute because he couldn't hold the brush steady. "I love you Grandpa."

Having been deprived of getting to know him from birth and only seeing Ryan sporadically over the last few years before he and CJ moved, Roger never took those words for granted.

"I love you too Sport. We're really glad to have to you back."

**NCIS**

Tony and Ziva were stuck like glue to each other for the remainder of the case, at one point standing close enough for their arms to brush, then parting to allow McGee to walk between them but immediately coming back together as they examined different files. McGee glanced back and rolled his eyes. His teammates operated like swinging doors or, better yet, magnets - some invisible force tying them together that always drew them into the same space. Another Tommy and Lisa scene began to percolate in his imagination and McGee wondered with a healthy amount of fear if they'd ever paid attention to his books after Deep Six and Rock Hollow or if they remained safely oblivious to just how much their interactions laid the basis for two of his main characters.

The case culminated in a poorly staged faked death scenario, but even though he'd refused their help and fought them at every turn at least Mason got to take his granddaughter home that night and the little girl was safely back with her parents where she belonged. Only once during the final debrief did Ziva's hand slip into Tony's, and it happened so fast he thought he might've imagined the feeling. Though Tony was anxious for some intimate time alone with his wife when they got home, Ziva was too preoccupied to go with the flow and instead of making love they ended up just laying in bed mostly naked, running their hands gently over each other's bodies, taking comfort in the warmth of skin on skin and the familiar patterns of breathing and heartbeats.

Despite the fact that Ziva held her own against Mason, fighting back so ingrained in her that she couldn't check her movements even if she wanted to, Tony still insisted on checking her for bruises and abrasions and kissing each one. He was rather sore at McGee for watching instead of interfering, as he would've done had Gibbs not switched up the partnerships. When the last mark had received his brand of TLC, Ziva's lips brushed the corner of his mouth. "Thank you ahava. That is much better."

He snorted. "You're lying, but I'll let you. He got in a couple good hits from the size of those bruises."

She made a face. "I'm no longer used to fighting with people who are trying to hurt me. Duke always stops just short of doing anything more than just tagging me."

"I think you mean tapping and I'm glad. I'd have something to say if he didn't hold back."

"You are going to have to stop being so protective Tony," Ziva stated firmly. "I will never learn any new skills without getting banged up a little."

Tony sighed. "I really don't like that part. Maybe just tell me about it after the fact, huh?"

"Or not at all," she suggested, "since it bothers you so much." Her eyes glinted. "I will just tell you that I won."

He laughed and kissed her, deeply and thoroughly, and they took up customary sleeping positions that kept as much of their bodies in contact as possible. Being married had utterly spoiled them for drifting into dreams any other way. Nothing made him smile more than to fall asleep with the smell and feel of Ziva all around him. It was a bonafide guarantee for a peaceful sleep.

_Replies:_

_tyraleanne - Thanks, it's really nice to hear that people are enjoying my stories. Wow, thank you for picking something of mine to be one of your favourites, that's exciting for me :) And you're welcome. Tiva is my happy place, hopefully I'll be able to stay here for awhile. PS. If you enable PMs, I'll be able to reply to your reviews and comments directly. Thanks so much for reviewing! ~Aliyah_


	6. 8x3 Worst Nightmare 3

**Sunday October 10**

When Tony came to basketball practice without Ziva, Cassie was immediately concerned. She confronted Tony by the car. "Where is she?"

He eyed her with a smile. "Geez Cass, at least say hi and pretend that you love me too."

She rolled her eyes and punched his arm lightly. "Hi. Where's Ziva?"

Tony wrinkled his nose and sighed. "She's not feeling well." He glanced around carefully and spoke quietly. "You know, girl stuff. It's bad this time."

Cassie winced in sympathy. "I see. Well, that's definitely a legitimate excuse. I'm kind of surprised you made it."

"Zi kicked me out," he chuckled. "Said she just needed to sleep and could do that better if I wasn't hovering."

"I know the feeling." She chewed her lip. "Was she up to eating anything?" Cassie knew she'd never be able to forget how Ziva picked at food like a bird the first time they came over for dinner after that terrible summer.

"It didn't start until after breakfast so she's had one meal at least, but Ziva will ignore food until she feels better if I don't force something into her." He shrugged. "I'll probably throw some naan bread in the toaster oven later and see if that tempts her."

"Cass!" Jordan hollered from the court. "Stop hogging Big D, we need him!"

Cassie stepped aside. "Have fun."

Tony jogged over to join the game - running, jumping, blocking, and sinking baskets felt so good after the stress of the case. Later he went back to the car and grabbed a handful of yellow magazines, snagging a spot by Ryan and Cody on the blanket. He ruffled the boy's hair. "Hey Peter Pan."

He looked up. "Hi Uncle Tony."

Tony set the magazines in Ryan's lap. "Your dad told me pandas are your new favourite thing, so I dug out all the National Geographics I could find that had something to do with those furry black and white bears."

"Ohh." Ryan flipped a few pages gently. "Thank you Uncle Tony, I'll be very careful with them."

Tony slung his arm around his nephew's shoulders. "You're family Ry, those are yours to keep."

His eyes went wide. "Really?"

"Absolutely."

Ryan flung his arms around Tony's neck. "Thank you. I can't wait to show Mom."

He jumped up and ran over to where CJ was sitting with Emma at a picnic table and a few seconds later she sent a bright smile and mouthed 'thank you' Tony's way. Leaning back against the tree he closed his eyes and breathed deep. If Ziva hadn't reminded him to bring the magazines he would've missed this moment and family was just too important to waste any of those opportunities.

**NCIS**

**Monday October 11**

Ziva waited until Tony was in the shower before calling in sick to work. Their boss answered the way he always did, "Yeah, Gibbs."

She sighed. "I need to take a sick day."

He frowned. "Why?" For a woman who never got sick she'd taken an inordinate amount of them in the last year. Silence filled the line and Gibbs dragged a hand over his face. "Know it's none of my business Ziver, but did it affect you the same way before?"

Before what was not specified because both knew what he meant. Ziva rubbed her forehead. "This is not something girls talk about with their fathers Abba." Certainly Eli had never cared and weakness was not tolerated in any form. Gibbs waited and she finally gave in. "No," she said softly, "not before. But now every couple months the pain is so bad I can hardly move, let alone work. And I hate another reminder of what they did. I hate being so -"

"Human?" Gibbs finished. "But ya are human kid. And that's okay."

Ziva didn't totally agree. "Please do not tell the others why. It is embarrassing."

"Need anything?"

She smiled slightly, relatively comfortable for the time being since Tony brought her more pills when he woke up. "Thank you, but I am fine."

"Take care kid," was Gibbs' parting comment.

Tony came in soon after and kissed her gently, perching on the edge of the bed and running his hand down her hair. "Better now?"

"Yes."

He studied her body, more relaxed than when he found her earlier, curled tight and tense against the discomfort. "Promise me you'll eat something today."

She pressed her lips together to keep in the sharp retort to stop babying her and waited a moment for the frustration to pass. "I will...try," she said at last, unwilling to make a promise that might not be kept.

Tony bent over and whispered in her ear, "I love you." He wanted to say or do something more but he couldn't take this for her. After another minute he rose reluctantly and headed out.

He made sure to be a couple minutes late arriving at the office and frowned at his partner's empty desk. "Where's Ziva? She usually beats me here."

"Sick," Gibbs answered without looking up. "Your watch broken DiNozzo?"

Tony chuckled self-consciously. "It, uh, must be running a little behind." He slipped it off. "I'll fix that right now." Fiddling with the perfectly fine timepiece, he returned the watch to its place. "What do you mean sick? The ninja never gets sick. She's like you Boss, I don't even think you guys have the sick gene. They should use your blood for its healing, super hero powers and -"

Gibbs glared and Tony froze. "You done?"

He nodded rapidly. "Yes. Done. Very done. I -" The stare intensified and Tony cleared his throat. "Shutting up Boss."

The day passed agonizingly slowly without his wife's presence to make things better and it wasn't until she was back in bed, leaving him to surf channels by himself after attempting supper, that Tony realized what day of the week it was. Before he could even reach for the phone it rang and he eyed it warily. "Hello?"

"You monopolizing my client Tony?" Duke's authoritative voice demanded, though there was a hint of teasing beneath the surface.

Tony leaned his head back. "Wish I was. Zi's not feeling well. I wouldn't expect her this week." She would probably hurt him later for making that assumption, but he wasn't about to let her tough it out as far as going to Ops when she felt this way.

"Ziva doesn't get sick," Duke replied quickly. "What's wrong?"

"That's all I'm going to tell you," he stated firmly. "You want more information, you'll have to talk to her. But she's not going to like the line of questioning."

Duke had been married long enough to read between the lines. "Well she better get her butt in here next week and prepare to have it whupped. We don't take things easy on slackers."

Tony grinned. "I'll tell her you said that. Take it easy Duke."

"You too."

Meira padded over and lay her head on Tony's knee. He stroked her floppy ears. "Ziva's gonna be okay girl, really. It'll just feel like a very long week until that happens." Sometimes he hated being a guy because he could never understand what she was dealing with and that ignorance left him helpless to do anything about it.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday October 12**

The next day Ziva looked very much worse for wear but insisted on coming into work. Gibbs took one look and opened his mouth but she shook her head. "I am fine."

Tony wanted to pretend cough and cover his use of 'bullcrap' but didn't want to risk her ire when she already felt miserable. By taking unrecommended doses of his leftover, heavy duty painkillers Ziva gamely plodded through the day and tea appeared on her desk at regular intervals from all three guys. Her husband, however, lost his ability to maintain a professional distance from his wife when he found her slumped in a breakroom chair, lacking the energy to open her package of M&amp;Ms from the vending machine. Instead she just stared at the brown bag, totally zoned out, not noticing his presence until Tony set his hands on her shoulders. Then she jumped but immediately relaxed again because she knew who it was and trusted him with everything.

He began gently massaging her stiff muscles and leaned down to drop a kiss on her hair. At that Ziva moved away. "Please don't Tony."

Frowning, he came around to face her. "Why not?"

She sniffed. "Because my hormones are a mess right now and if you keep being nice I might cry."

Tony wanted to take her in his arms and hold her close, infusing her with his love and strength. Work though, did not allow for any such display and he squeezed her knee in lieu of something more personal. "Okay honey. Here," he tore open the package and dropped a red candy in her palm, her favourite, "sugar will make it better."

She uttered a lame little laugh and began picking through the bag for other colours until Gibbs called them back to action.

When the younger male half of the team were on their way back from the crime scene, since Gibbs preferred to drive by himself so quiet was guaranteed, McGee turned in the passenger seat to confront Tony. "What was that with you and Ziva in the breakroom earlier?"

Tony clenched his jaw, his grip tightening to white knuckled on the steering wheel. He hadn't been aware of an audience and went for vague. "Nothing."

"Yeah, right," Tim scoffed. "I though I saw you trying to be nice, then she asked you to stop."

Tony didn't like the probie's tone. "Are you accusing me of something Agent McGee?"

"Seems like you might've been taking advantage of her vulnerability while her walls are down."

That made Tony angry and he glared hotly at his teammate. "You remember the inside of that desert room just as well as I do. I'm not going to hurt her."

"You sure about that?" McGee shot back. He cared about Ziva too much not to be in her corner about this.

A headslap was clearly in order but there were places better suited for that wake up call than the car. "Let it go Probie," he growled. "She's my partner, it's my job to have her back. No place in that for messing with her."

"It's my job too," McGee pointed out. "Just...give her a break today Tony. She doesn't look so hot."

_She doesn't feel so hot either_, Tony thought, longing for the day to be over. He just wanted to get Ziva home so she could rest. Taking care of her was his responsibility, but some days life made that a challenge.

**NCIS**

"Sure Carly, I can do that," CJ smiled into her phone. "I'm sorry you're sick." The other woman answered and she laughed. "Yeah, I know. Kids, right? Pick something up at school, bring it home, and parents are the ones who suffer for it. I hope you get feeling better soon, let me know if there's anything else I can do. Bye."

She hung up and hummed a made up tune while she finished packing her gym bag to go home. Halfway down the stairs it hit her what she'd just done and CJ leaned against the wall. "Oh brother." How did she tell her husband he hadn't even entered her mind when she agreed to teach two extra classes this week? More than a month into marriage and the concept of 'we' still clashed with her ingrained thinking of 'I'.

Glad it was Brent's day to bring their son home from school, CJ got in her car and drove back more slowly than usual. She was still worrying the problem in a circle when the boys came running in. Ryan made it to her ahead of his dad and threw up his arms. "I win!"

Brent followed and kissed his wife first, then patted Ryan's back. "You're getting faster every day buddy." The boy looked between them and Brent gestured with one hand. "Ask your mom."

One eyebrow rose. "Ask me what?"

Ryan's expression became both pleading and hopeful. "Can I go over to Wes and Breanna's for dinner? They asked me at lunch."

CJ exchanged glances with her husband. "It's a school night Ry, what about homework?"

He scuffed his foot on the floor. "Well...Breanna and I are in the same class, so we were going to do it together, then play basketball afterwards." His friends were lucky enough to live across the street from the park on their block, which came complete with a fenced in court.

Over Ryan's head the couple conferred. Brent's shrug said he didn't mind either way, so it was up to her. CJ drew her bottom lip between her teeth and thought it over. While it was just the two of them there was never a chance for Ryan to spend time with friends after school because they had so much to do by themselves. But now...she wanted him to have every opportunity to make up for what he'd missed over the last several years.

Cracking a smile, she kissed his cheek. "It's okay with me."

"Yes!" Ryan danced around in a circle, then nearly got bowled over by Cody, who had somehow just noticed his people were home. "Ooh." He stopped. "Can I take Cody? He loves basketball!"

Brent cleared his throat. "I think one extra kid is enough for their parents to handle, Cody can stay and keep your mom and I company."

That didn't phase Ryan, who ran for the phone to call Wes and give the answer. A few minutes later CJ and her son piled into the car for the short drive to the Evans' house. She gave him a side hug before he got out. "Have fun monkey. I love you."

"Love you!" he called, hopping out and running to the door.

She watched for a minute, then made her way back home where her husband was already in the kitchen getting supper started. Sliding her arms around his waist, she pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades. "How was your day?"

Brent loved that question, loved having someone to come home to, loved being one of two now instead of just by himself. "Pretty good. We started a football unit in gym today, so most of the girls don't like me, and the boys are using the footballs as weapons, but other than that it was fine. And yours?"

CJ chuckled, then moved back. "Yeah, about that."

His brow furrowed as he looked over to where she now stood beside him. "Something wrong?"

She twisted a curl around her finger, her hair down around her shoulders after a quick shower at work. Having always worn her hair up, even as a child, it was a new thing to leave it down when the opportunity came. But she did it because she knew Brent loved seeing her that way. "I don't know? Umm...Carly called after my last class. Daniel had a stomach bug last week and passed it on to her, so she needed a couple classes covered." CJ swallowed. "And uh...I said yes."

Brent looked at her, trying to figure out the problem. "Okay...?"

CJ huffed and paced across the kitchen. "I said yes like I was still single Brent, thinking the extra money would come in handy and it would be good to help out a friend." She ran her fingers through her curly mane. "Then I realized I should've checked with you because there's an us now and maybe you wanted us to do something or maybe..."

He checked the stove to make sure things could be left unattended for a minute and laid his a finger over her lips. "Honey, it's fine."

"It's not fine," she grumbled, crossing her arms. "I should be used to this by now."

Rolling his eyes, Brent claimed her mouth for a long and very thorough kiss. "You are most definitely not single anymore CJ MacKay." Her nose wrinkled at the rhyme. "And there is and always will be an us." He stroked her cheek. "But I'm not mad." Maybe it hurt a little that she still thought of herself as single, but clearly it had been a momentary mistake.

She leaned into his touch. "I'm sorry. I'll try not to let it happen again."

He tugged a curl. "See that you don't." Checking on the food, he adjusted the heat and felt her join him. "So, when are these classes?"

CJ stole a piece of broccoli from the steamer. "Wednesday and Friday morning."

She already worked those mornings so Brent knew what that meant. "Early, huh?"

Affecting an innocent look, she bit her lip. "Umm...Rise and Shine, yeah."

"So much for your day off." He was beginning to wonder if he'd ever be able to get her to take it easy.

CJ shrugged. "I'll be done by 8:15, it's not like the whole day is a loss."

"And then you'll stay to work out. And probably go grocery shopping since you don't think it's fair to make Ryan and I come even though we make it a game of who can find the most things off your list. And it's your night to cook because of basketball practice. I bet you won't sit down the entire day!"

She kissed his cheek. "I've been off on Fridays for six weeks, I'm starting to feel like a lazy bum."

Brent closed his eyes. "Give me patience," he muttered.

Laughing, CJ spun away to begin setting the table. "Kidding." Sort of. She hadn't had that much downtime since high school and it always felt weird to not be at work. "What if I ask Mom and Dad to take Ry for a sleepover Friday night and promise to sleep in on Saturday?"

He whipped around and stared at her. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"A night to ourselves?"

The way he said it made her realize they hadn't had that luxury since returning from their honeymoon, and he obviously wanted to be alone with her. "Yes," CJ said softly.

Brent pulled her close, resting his forehead on hers. "That is the best idea I've heard in weeks. In that case, I withdraw my objection."

She drew him down, brushing her lips over his. One wasn't enough and he went back for more while CJ undid the top button of his shirt and slid her hand inside to rest on his chest. The habit made him smile against her skin and suddenly husband and wife both thought Friday night couldn't come fast enough.

**NCIS**

**Friday October 15**

Although Wednesday and Thursday had been a little rocky with more make up than she usually wore applied to cover how bad she really felt, Ziva appeared one hundred times better when she got out of the shower Friday morning. Tony smiled at her in the mirror as he brushed his teeth and her hand drifted lightly over his back as she walked out, in a towel, to go get dressed. Tony found her in the kitchen when he finished and draped an arm across her body from behind. Ziva leaned into him and linked their fingers. "Hi."

He nuzzled her neck. "Hi yourself. How're you feeling?" Her spine stiffened slightly at the question - after Somalia she would forever hate that particular line - but she worked hard to soften her posture. Tony kissed the scar below her hairline and murmured, "Sorry."

Ziva let out a breath. "I am functioning without any pills, that is always good."

"Not what I asked," her husband spoke against her ear.

"More like myself," she finally answered. "I dislike this weakness Tony."

"I know. And I don't like seeing you in pain. I'm glad it's not every month."

"As am I."

Tony rubbed his thumb over hers. "Think it'll always be that way now?"

Ziva shrugged. "This is the third bad one in only six months since my cycle returned. But then, I also skipped July for no apparent reason." She leaned her head back. "I may never be sure about anything regarding my body again."

His lips brushed her cheek. "We'll get through it Zi, whatever happens."

She was ready for a change in subject. "If you want oatmeal it's in the pot, I'm having strawberries with mine. Anything else you might have to get yourself."

Tony chuckled and released her, though he could go on standing like that all day if it was an option. "Cereal is fine, thanks. Your healthy stuff is still rubbing off on me slowly."

Ziva watched him grab a box of cereal and open the fridge for milk. "You put up with a lot of healthy ahava and I appreciate it. Should we order take out tonight?"

His grin grew. "Chinese?"

"If you eat it with chopsticks."

Tony considered the offer. "Well, thanks to your lessons I can actually get food to my mouth with them now. Kate -" he paused but she looked at him expectantly. He cleared his throat and finished the thought. "Kate would never believe it. She used to forget my fork on purpose just to watch me make a fool of myself trying to eat with chopsticks." A small smile graced his lips. "She would've liked you, I think Zi. The woman who could tame Anthony DiNozzo's heart and make him into a respectable human being, imagine that."

"You did most of the hard work yourself," Ziva pointed out.

They were face to face now and he stroked her cheek. "Yeah, but I only did it for you." He tasted the sweetness of strawberries on her lips in the brief kiss and the heat from her hand resting over his heart stayed with him as they moved separately around the kitchen. Some moments were just too profound for words.

**NCIS**

They didn't get out of the office until seven that evening and Ziva was glad she drove separately because she felt the need to do something after days of being an invalid. "I will just go for a short swim Tony and meet you at home," she told her husband as they left the building.

He leaned against his car. "Text me when you get out of the pool and I'll phone the order in. It should arrive soon after you get back."

"Okay." She blew him a kiss and got in.

Tony watched her drive off and headed home himself, greeting Meira when she came trotting over to say hi as he walked in the door. "Ready for your walk girl?" She yipped and spun around, coming back with one of her bright pink tennis balls. His eyebrows rose. "The dog park, really?" Meira dropped the damp ball at his feet and Tony nodded. "Okay, if that's what you really want. We've got time. Just let me change first, okay?" She whined when he headed for the bedroom instead of re-opening the front door and he chuckled. "Relax honey, I'll be out in a minute."

True to his word he quickly traded clothes and came back out to grab a light jacket and her leash. Though she was obedient enough to stay by his side even without the tether, rules were rules. "I'm ready, let's go!" Meira bolted out the door as soon as the crack was big enough and Tony frowned. "Hey, amode!" _Stop_. She froze and he cocked an eyebrow. "Ragli." _Heel_. She dropped her head and reluctantly made her way back to his side. He squatted down and rubbed her head. "Kelev tov." _Good dog_. Meira licked his cheek in apology and he snapped the leash onto her collar. "Kadina." _Forward_.

As soon as they reached the sidewalk Tony grinned. "Hap-hap." _Faster_. She obliged and broke into a run. The two jogged for a couple blocks before he tugged on the leash. "Le-at girl, I can't keep up with you." _Slower_. They alternated fast and slow pace until finally reaching the dog park. So excited that she couldn't hold still, Meira danced in place and Tony couldn't get a grip on the leash clip. "Shev," he finally ordered. _Sit_. But instead of adding 'stay' after, he ruffled her fur. "Have fun." Palming one of the balls, he heaved it towards the center of the park and she took off after it without even needing to be told to fetch.

That game continued for quite some time until Tony declared himself worn out and flopped down on the grass, only after checking to make sure there were no smelly surprises he might land on. Meira ran over and lay down on top of him, her tongue flicking all over his face as her way of making him feel better. Tony grimaced and pushed her away gently. "Yuck. Thanks, I really needed to be slobbered on right then. Helpful." He rolled his eyes. "Silly mutt." She tilted her head and he hugged her. "I didn't mean it. We love you." Tony saw another dog she knew, a black lab named Cleo, and waved at the dogsitter. "Go play."

Meira did and the two dogs chased and wrestled and even played tug of war with Cleo's rope until Tony's cell chirped. _**I just got out. It was wonderful to do something finally. See you soon. xxxo**_.

Tony grinned. He loved that Ziva always signed her texts and letters with more kisses than hugs. As much as he enjoyed hugging his wife, it was nothing compared to the connection of actually being joined to her through the act of a kiss. And kissing often lead to even more fun and uniting activities. He sent back his own line of kisses and a hug, chose the Chinese restaurant from his list of contacts to place an order, then whistled for Meira. "That was Zi. Time to go girl." She looked at him, rope in her mouth, like she wasn't sure he really meant that. Propping his hands on his hips, Tony got official. "Meira, bo." _Come_.

That did it. She dropped the toy and pranced over to him, seeming almost offended when he reattached her leash. He dropped a kiss on her muzzle. "I know, you don't really need it. But those are the rules. Come on, we'll race Ziva home." Meira knew her mistress's name and dashed ahead, almost dragging Tony with her enthusiasm. But as he was excited too, he didn't bother trying to slow her down and they made it back in record time.

Fresh from a shower Ziva moved into his arms, taking time to indulge in his mouth before stooping down to greet their pet. Once Meira had been thoroughly loved on and spoiled with two treats, she found her bunny and retreated to her mat by the inside garage door. Ziva watched her lick the tattered creature and bit her lip. "It is going to fall apart soon and she will be devastated. I cannot even wash it anymore because there would be nothing left by the end."

Tony scratched his chin. "Maybe we can give it a decent burial when she's not paying attention and find something else for her to love."

Ziva's eyebrows drew together. "It would be mean to simply take it away. She would go looking for that bunny everywhere. No, we will have to think of another way."

"Fair enough. I'll try and remember to ask Swish where he got it, maybe she'll accept a replacement."

Doubting it would be that easy, Ziva nonetheless agreed and left Tony to pick their supper entertainment while she mixed up a pitcher of iced tea to go with the food. The delivery girl arrived while Tony was still in the middle of deciding and Ziva set everything up on the coffee table while she waited. Finally he selected _Nowhere to Land_ from the suspense section of their collection and slid it into the player. He opened his box of Hainanese chicken rice and dug into the spicy dish. "Oh, this is so good."

Ziva chuckled. "And you didn't believe me the first time I suggested real Chinese food instead of your American version."

Tony made a face. "It's your America too."

She ignored his grumble and bit into one of the soup dumplings in her Xiao Long Ba. Rich, savoury broth seeped out and she sighed. "The authentic kind is much better."

"Let me guess," he sighed, "you spent time in China for a mission too."

Ziva swallowed. "No. But my Aunt Nettie has an old friend - well, he is my friend too as he has been around most of my life - named Shmiel and he has traveled all over the world and learned a great deal. We always took his suggestions for food choices when he visited and I made a list of whatever he recommended. He has not driven me wrong yet."

"Huh," Tony commented, "sounds like I need to meet this guy sometime."

"Maybe you will," she answered somewhat non-committally. "Shmiel often travels to the States for conferences."

He chewed on a tender piece of chicken. "How come you never mentioned him?"

Her lips curved slightly. "There must be a little mystery left or you will get bored of me."

Tony snorted. "Yeah, like that's even possible. Does that mean you have some good secrets stored up?"

"A girl always has secrets Tony," Ziva informed her husband. "But the most important thing is what I do not hide, and that is my love for you."

He kissed the broth off her lips. "Yum. And I really like that answer."

Previews gave way to the feature presentation and they focused on the movie, sitting close with fingers entwined when all their food had been finished. It was getting late once the credits finally rolled and both halves of the couple knew it was time for bed. Though he hadn't been planning on trying anything with her so soon after she was feeling better, Tony didn't bother to curb his passion in a simple goodnight kiss that got a little out of hand. Ziva gave into the way he took over her mouth, drawing out each caress and reclaiming her lips again and again, but when his hand snuck under her tank top she hesitated and placed her fingers over his mouth.

"Tony." His lips moved gently over her skin and she shook her head. "Please stop being sweet. It is much harder to say no."

"No is not one of my favourite words Zi."

She regarded him fondly. "Yes, I am aware. But for now it is necessary." He sighed and her lips grazed his lightly. "You are a wonderful man and I love you. Maybe tomorrow."

Tony's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Ziva smiled. "Really."

He gathered her into his arms. "I miss you."

She couldn't help herself, bringing her mouth to his once more. "I will make it up to you."

"Yes," he grinned, "you will."

And though his plans were forestalled for this night, Tony fell asleep with a smile on his face, the promise of tomorrow hanging in the air.

**NCIS**

**Saturday October 16**

The grey, overcast Saturday morning sky did not bother the couple still laying in bed despite the hour. The silence between them was easy and comfortable as both still relaxed in the contentment of earlier activities - making love had been high on the list of priorities when he'd opened his eyes before dawn, and his wife had been more than willing once he'd drawn her out of sleep with soft kisses, longing heavy in his eyes. Tony ran his fingers up her back and nuzzled her hair. "Will you let me take some pictures of us?"

The slight stiffening of Ziva's spine disappeared by the time she smiled. "What kind of pictures?"

His chuckle sounded a bit nervous. "The uh...kind that are just between you and me." Her eyebrows rose in question and Tony tapped her forehead. "Not naughty photos Mrs. DiNozzo, just intimate ones of husband," he pecked her lips, "and wife." The kiss lasted longer the second time. "I want to try capturing what our love looks like."

Ziva rubbed her fingertips over a day's growth of stubble on his jaw. "Okay."

It took awhile to find something the right height to prop the camera on, then Meira was banished to the kitchen and Tony closed them into their own little world. For his wife, who didn't yet understand the significance, the care he put into getting each shot exactly how he wanted it was almost amusing, but she reaped the benefits of his plan. At first he had them laying down, modestly covered by sheets and staring into each other's eyes, exchanging tender touches and slow kisses. Then they moved more sitting up, the bare top half of Ziva's body always shielded by his own or strategically placed hands and arms.

He set the camera to take multiple shots at once so they could see how it looked when they really got into a moment of sharing breaths, lips gliding over and between each other, eyes closed, their entire focus on one another. After he got all the couple stuff, Tony started positioning Ziva and taking several of her alone - mostly of her back, with her glancing over her shoulder at him or smiling slightly, eyes downcast. His goal, underneath the gentle intimacy of bare skin pictures, was to try and show her what he saw when he looked at her body. He kept changing where her hair and hands were, then couldn't stay on the other side of the camera any longer and joined her, his touch soft on her skin, the timed photos freezing each action as he pressed his mouth to her shoulder, held his hands over hers on her chest while their lips met, and other very sweet moments.

All that time of being naked got to him finally and Tony kissed her deeply. "Now we need to finish what we started." Ziva chuckled at the husky tone of his voice and started to lay back, but he stopped her. "I was thinking of trying something different.

"How different?" Ever since his birthday her husband had been slowly working things into their lovemaking that had been on hold while she healed. He murmured the request in her ear and she stilled, swallowing. "Tony...I am not sure..."

He slid his fingers into her hair. "The only way we're going to find out what is okay is by giving it a shot." His lips brushed her eyebrow. "Please?"

Knowing he deserved her best effort but certain the attempt was doomed to failure, Ziva moved very slowly to rest her stomach on the pillow he'd positioned. She closed her eyes tightly and waited, but Tony wasn't a stupid man. He traced a line down her back. "You have to relax Zi, this won't work otherwise." He tried to soothe the tension from her muscles and she did her best to help. Finally he put his hand on her hip but before he could even move Ziva turned around, her words trembling.

"Please Tony, it does not have to be gentle, only let us be face to face." She avoided his gaze that always saw too much. "I need to be able to see you."

The brief clenching of his jaw was Tony's only reaction, but his lips told a different story when they took careful possession of hers. This was not the end of the conversation.

Some time after more carnal desires had been satisfied, Ziva's stomach growled. "I'm hungry," she announced, the statement suggesting he better remedy this situation quickly.

He grinned. "Well it just so happens that I am a fabulous short order breakfast cook."

She checked the clock. "It is too late even for brunch."

"Brunch, by definition, has no specific time attached to it," Tony argued. "What do you feel like?"

Ziva got out of bed and began searching for comfy clothes to wear. "Sabbich," she decided finally. "But I think we do not have any of the ingredients."

"Easily fixable. If you want to take Meira out I'll make a quick run to the store," he offered.

She looked up from tying the drawstring on her lounge pants. "I love you."

Tony rounded the bed to kiss her softly. "I love you back. What a great way to start the day."

Ziva snorted. "If we started every day like this we would never get anything done."

"Maybe not." He flicked a piece of chocolate at her from his early Halloween candy stash in the bedside table drawer, the only thing he liked about that holiday. "But it was fun."

"Yes," she agreed, smiling in memory, "it was."

To make up for ignoring their pet Ziva took Meira for a nice long walk and when they returned Tony was putting the finishing touches on their lunch. "I also got ice cream and snacks, it seems like a good movie marathon afternoon."

"I agree," Ziva said, taking her first bite. "Thank you ahava, this is wonderful."

Tony had to concur, he'd developed a liking for the unique Israeli food. "Your wish is my command."

She eyed him suspiciously. "I will not be a princess."

That was a dilemma. He chewed thoughtfully on the inside of his lip. "What about Lady Ziva, like Mike Franks calls you?"

The corner of her mouth curved up. "I suppose I can handle that."

"Which means I can still be your faithful servant," he beamed, having found the loophole.

Ziva leaned her head on one hand. "I would rather you be my husband. I give you an A+ for that job."

His expression reflected surprise. "Really?"

Her brow furrowed. "You do not think so?"

Tony stared at his plate. "It's hard to know sometimes if I'm doing this right."

Ziva's hand covered his. "I will have to tell you more often then."

A short time later Ziva started doing dishes and he grabbed a towel to dry. They worked in companionable silence until he couldn't keep it in anymore. Tony set down the bowl in his hands and drew his fingers over her neck. "Does it always bother you when I'm behind you and you can't see me?" He was thinking of standing close in Observation, hugging her in the elevator, laying molded to her back at night, cuddling on the couch with her in front of him - all the things he loved and now feared having to give up.

Ziva knew right away what he was referring to and sighed, drying her hands and looking at him. "No. When you hold me from behind I only feel protected and loved."

"So earlier..."

She spun her rings around. "Sex is different Tony. It is...too vulnerable that way." She shook her head. "Somalia does not make it into our bed very often anymore, but some of what I learned there may be forever." Ziva rubbed her forehead and her voice fell to a whisper. "There is nothing worse than not being able to see what is coming, especially when it is all bad." He hesitated to touch her so her hands found his chest. "There are still some things for which I need your patience. I'm sorry ahava."

Tony encompassed his wife in a protective embrace. "I wish I could make this okay for you."

"I wish the same for you," she told him softly. "Is it enough Tony?"

He heard what she meant, _Am I enough?_, and held her tighter. "Always sweetheart. As long as you're here with me it's always more than enough."

She kissed him, an unspoken 'thank you' when the words felt too worn out after months and months of his unceasing care. Tony left it at that and led her to the livingroom. "Come on, dishes can wait. I'll watch _Pirates of the Caribbean _with you. You couldn't appreciate it last time."

Ziva blinked back tears and followed her husband, curling up by his side on the couch. He was so much better than she could ever deserve.

**NCIS**

**Sunday October 17**

After basketball practice Adrian and Emma took a drive to Great Falls Park, the site of their first day trip nearly a year ago now. They walked the winding paths, shoes crunching on fallen autumn leaves, holding hands and enjoying the crisp air and seasonal beauty of the day. Every once in a while Adrian paused and lifted the camera around his neck to capture a particularly lovely scene, or a single leaf still attached to a barren branch, or squirrels playing hide and seek around tree trunks. Emma loved to watch her husband work and remained quiet so as not to interrupt his concentration, but she could tell something was on his mind - a suspicion that was confirmed as they resumed their stroll once he was satisfied with another photo.

"I've been thinking," he began.

"About what?" It wouldn't do to tease him, not when he was being serious.

Adrian sighed. "I'd like us to go visit my brother. I haven't seen him in person since after graduation." Though the brothers did try to schedule a Skype call every couple of months to catch up, he'd only ever seen his niece on a computer screen and Akelani was a teenager now.

"The brother that lives in New Zealand?"

He squeezed her hand. "I only have one."

"Wow." Emma stopped and leaned against a nearby tree. "That's a long trip."

"About eighteen hours, give or take." He should know, he'd taken that flight twice in two years. Once when Cam insisted that Adrian come back with him after their parents' funeral, and again when he graduated, which was the first time he met his then two year old nephew Josh. "I wanted to ask you early enough that you could make arrangements to get things covered at the daycare."

"When were you wanting to go?"

Adrian shoved his hands in his pockets. "First of the year."

"For a week? Two weeks?" It would be a shame to go that far and not stay long enough to make the trip worth the time.

He cleared his throat. "A month actually."

"Oh." Emma had never been outside of the United States and this was almost all the way across the world.

Adrian bit his lip. He'd been hoping for a little more excitement on her part. "What do you think?"

"I think...that's a long time to be away." She threaded the chain of the double heart necklace he'd given her last Valentine's Day around her fingers, she hadn't taken it off since. "Umm...can we afford it?" The flight alone would be thousands of dollars, not to mention all the other little expenses that came with traveling.

He nodded. "I've uh, actually been saving to go back for awhile, since before we met. Every time I got paid for a job I'd set aside a little." Adrian fiddled with his camera. "I guess I never thought to mention it." The whirlwind courtship they'd had left much of their lives unknown to each other despite how much they'd talked, which became evident when Emma shared her secret author identity with him once they returned from their extended honeymoon. Even almost three months after the wedding they were still discovering new things about each other.

Emma didn't like the uncertainty he wore, so like his attitude the first time they'd met for coffee, and pushed herself away from the tree, going over to cup his face in her hands. "You surprise me Adrian Platz."

He covered her hands with his own. "Is that a good thing?"

"Yes." She ran her fingers down the camera strap. "I can't imagine going years without seeing Beth. We've lived in the same house or the same city our entire lives. Going fifteen years...you must really miss Cam."

"I do," Adrian confided. "We were really close as kids, and even after he moved to NZ he always tried to keep in touch and stay involved in my life. One of my biggest regrets is the distance between us, because I've never gotten the chance to be part of his family's life. Sure the kids like talking to me and I remember their birthdays, and Marianna is so sweet to send updates in letters - I'm so glad my brother married her - but it's not the same as being there for everything that happens."

"Okay," Emma decided before she could over think it.

His eyebrows jumped up. "Okay as in we can go?"

"You don't need my permission."

"No, but I wouldn't go without you."

She tilted her head. "Really?"

Adrian linked his fingers behind her back. "Really. I've waited my whole life for you Emma Rose. I'm not going to give up a month of being with you, even for my brother."

"Well, you know how to make a girl feel loved." Emma kissed her husband gently. "Amy can manage Eden Center, she's been around almost as long as I have and I trust her. I'll talk to her tomorrow." She rubbed his ring. He was so possessive of it, never took the gold circle off even when he was working with his picture developing chemicals. The one time she suggested he remove it, when he and Darien were working on framing his darkroom downstairs in their unfinished basement, he acted like she'd asked him to cut off his finger. It was actually quite endearing, how much the symbol meant to him. "Do you have any bookings that will have to be rescheduled?"

He chuckled a bit nervously. "This has been on my mind for awhile. I've been keeping January open in case we could work it out."

Still surprised that the subject had never come up, even when she met her brother and sister in law on Skype shortly after their wedding, Emma let it go and tucked her hand around his elbow. "I always knew marrying you was going to be an adventure. Looks like I'm about to find out."

Grinning, Adrian headed down the trail ever conscious of the wonderful woman at his side. He really didn't know how life could get any better than this.

_Replies:_

_Anna - thank you, I'm glad you think so :) Unfortunately I can't yet promise updates will be on a weekly basis, it all depends on if I have a chance to work on it and free time is a little unreliable. You're welcome. Thank you for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it :) ~Aliyah_

_chloe - you're right, this story definitely has a long way to. I'd give it a year and a half at least before everything's wrapped up. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, nice to know people are in for the long haul. Thanks! ~Aliyah_

_UConn Fan (Hope) - although I guess you won't see this for quite a long time, I wanted to say thank you for your review. It was very nice to see your name in the email. You're welcome :) Well, I suppose part of it comes from the fact that, for me, NCIS ended with Season 10 and so there's lots of room left for hope and imagination. The other part is that God keeps giving inspiration so I get to keep writing. It's a win-win :) I am doing well, thank you for asking. I've been busy with jobs and time left over always seems to get taken up by other things, but MIT is never far from my mind and I work on it whenever I get the chance. How are things with you? Thanks for reading and reviewing! I look forward to seeing what you think when MIT Part 5 is complete! ~Aliyah_


	7. 8x3 Short Fuse

**Monday October 18**

"So," Ziva began once the car was moving, "you will be the new face of NCIS."

Tony claimed her hand as he always did and looked over. "Should be you. Rockin' that classy sassy look. Did I remember to tell you I love your hair like that?"

Her lips curved up. "I believe you mentioned it."

He raised her fingers to his lips. "Remind me to tell you again sometime."

"I think you are in the bad books with Gibbs."

"A fact you seemed highly amused by." Tony rolled his eyes. "Then again, when am I not? Have you seen the glares he's been shooting me ever since you 'went back to your apartment'? I don't know what's got his back up but somehow I'm in the way."

"Perhaps it is just a phase," Ziva suggested.

"I hope so," he muttered. "Because it's getting old."

At Sergeant Dempsey's house Tony took in the state of the bed and commented that she must not've been alone last night. Ziva arched an eyebrow at him. "It proves nothing. I do not make my bed every day."

Surprise coloured his expression but curiosity had to wait until McGee went downstairs. "Since when?" he inquired. "Because our bed is always neatly put back together before we leave. I kinda thought it was a requirement."

She shrugged. "Not necessarily. And I was referring to before you. When I first came to DC it was a rebellion against my military way of life, the strictness of Mossad and my father. I liked seeing it comfortably rumpled, softer, like the version of myself I was becoming."

Tony moved behind her and slid his arms around her waist. "Does that mean we can forget that part of the routine from now on?"

Ziva escaped his hold. "I would prefer not to. There is something satisfying about climbing into a made bed at the end of the day. I got tired of it looking messy."

He tossed her a half-grin. "Worth a try."

**NCIS**

Tony arrived at Flash following their release from work and rapped on the door only seconds after Adrian had locked it. His brow furrowed. "Is something wrong?"

Stepping past him, Tony entered the studio. "Y'know, we don't only come bearing bad news."

Adrian shrugged, securing the lock again. "Habit." He slipped his hands in his pockets. "So, what's up?"

Tony pursed his lips. "You gonna be around for awhile?"

"I've got some things to finish. Why?"

"Can you run me through your photo editing program and let me borrow the computer for an hour?"

Adrian made a 'give it here' motion. "You came to the right place. Tell me what you want and I'll have it done in a flash."

Tony winced. "That's a terrible pun Zip. And thanks, but it's a gift for Ziva so I'd rather do it myself."

Adrian nodded. "Fair enough."

He led Tony back to his office and opened the program. A short tutorial later he left and Tony fished a camera card out of his pocket. Checking for witnesses, he put it in the slot and brought up all the pictures from the photoshoot he'd done with his wife only a couple days before. Smiling at the memories they evoked, he made a mental note of which ones to print for his own collection and scrolled down, clicking on one showing Ziva's back. His eyes ran over the marred skin briefly before he got to work and for the next forty minutes Tony experimented with adding borders and words, changing the contrast and colour, making it hazy and clear, until he found just the right combination.

Feeling rather pleased with his work, Tony availed himself of Adrian's photo printer, left some money on the desk to cover paper and ink, and slid the pictures into an empty envelope he brought. Closing everything out and pocketing the card, Tony headed to the darkroom and knocked. "Hey Aid, thanks for your help. I'm gone."

"Anytime. See you later," came his friend's faint reply.

Leaving through the back door which he could lock behind him, Tony got in the car and drove to the photography shop where he'd had the plaque made for Ziva's memorial stone. He spent a long time looking at frames to find one that would compliment the picture. Finally he chose something that would do, but it wasn't quite right. Once outside Tony plopped down on a bench and pulled out his knife. Very carefully he etched a short sentence in the top border of the frame and blew away the black dust. _Perfect._

He made two more quick stops on his way home and walked in the door, grinning at Ziva. "Honey, I'm home."

His wife arched an eyebrow. "I send you for take out and you disappear for two hours. Should I be concerned?"

Tony crossed the room to kiss her. "You don't have competition, but I did get a little distracted." He revealed the flowers held behind his back with a flourish. "For you, amore mio."

Ziva's lips curved into a smile as she cradled the mixture of roses and daffodils. "Thank you ahava, they are beautiful." He held up the bag of food next and she read the name. "From 1789? You are forgiven."

He claimed her mouth again. "Good. I'm going to change." Tony swung the door to their room shut, thinking a moment later that he should've left it open because Ziva might get suspicious if she noticed, and carefully removed the frame from the small of his back of his jacket where he'd stuffed it for quick concealment.

Looking at the hinged double frame once more, Tony set it on his wife's nightstand and threw on track pants and an NCIS sweatshirt that used to be part of his attire from when they spent time in the training gym. He thought back to a case he only vaguely remembered from their first year as partners. The details were hazy except for one captured scene in his mind where he and Ziva were wearing workout clothes and looking sweaty and disheveled, towels over their shoulders as they made their way from the gym to shower.

And though it didn't show in his attitude or confidence, he'd been soundly trounced by Ziva's ninja skills on full display while they sparred. He couldn't count the number of times he'd ended up on his back groaning at the ceiling. But the one time he'd caught her off guard and taken her to the mats had been a victory worth boasting about. Never mind that seconds later she'd regained the upper hand, he still counted his win.

The image of Ziva like that - skin glistening, breathing hard, wearing a smug triumphant grin as she straddled him on the ground - propelled him back out to the kitchen where he spun her around and pressed an ardent kiss to her lips. Caught unaware though she was, Ziva followed her husband's lead and indulged in the passion he poured out. Her hands found the hem of his shirt and snuck underneath, sliding up his warm skin and caressing the fire between them into a flame.

Dinner was forgotten on the counter when he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to bed. For a brief but blissful time the couple got lost in each other, filling a need and temporarily sating desire, despite the fact that they never really got enough, and afterwards Tony kissed the damp skin of her throat. "I like those kinds of surprises."

She chuckled. "You were just as surprised as me? Did you not start this?"

He dug his fingers into her hair. "Actually, thinking about you kicking my butt in the training gym started it, but I have no complaints."

Ziva's eyebrows drew together. "When? We have not fought each other that I recall."

Tony pecked the tip of her nose. "I'm going way back Zi, before we were anything but partners."

Four and a half years later some details were a bit blurry. She stretched and glanced to the side, frowning at the new decoration in front of her alarm clock. Reaching for it, she saw the altered photo of her back and the scars, recognizing it immediately. "Tony, what is this?"

He heard her anger and shifted a bit nearer. "Look closer babe."

Reluctantly she did and began to see the elegant cursive words that bordered all four sides. _**You are strong. You are beautiful. You are amazing**_. And along the bottom, _**My Angel... **_Her lips parted. "Ohh."

"They say a picture speaks a thousand words, but I had to add a few extra." Tony nudged her arm. "There's more."

In the second half of the frame were four sentences. _Your strength and will to not just survive but live astound me. Your beauty leaves me speechless. I am constantly amazed by the depth of your love for me. Ziva, you are everything that is good in my life. Thank you. I love you. Yours forever, Tony._

Ziva had to blink away the moisture before she could study his gift further, then saw the uneven letters carved across the top - _**This is what I see**_. Her fingers gently traced them and Tony pressed his lips to her bare shoulder. "I want you to look through my eyes honey, please. Everything in your head is a lie, let me teach you the truth."

Overwhelmed, Ziva set the picture aside and cradled his face in her hands, drawing him down for a kiss as she breathed _thank you_ and _I love you_ onto his lips. This one was different, not for renewing their previous activities but to speak from a heart too full for words that might just get in the way. He responded with an outflow of thankfulness for having her here, living and thriving and part of his life.

They didn't even think about moving until Ziva's stomach growled and Tony grinned, carefully untangling them. "Time to get some food into you." He helped her up. "I made you miss dinner."

She touched his cheek. "This was more important."

And wasn't that just the best way to end a day? Tony loved how Ziva made him feel so incredibly valued. She was the only one, besides his mom, who'd ever taken the time to know his heart and that was worth every darkness they had to face.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday October 19**

The following afternoon they stood in Observation together, watching Sergeant Dempsey, and the reveal of her affair with the FBI dude nagged at him. He propped his hand on the window frame, stretching his arm out behind Ziva's head. "I don't buy it."

"What?"

"Them," he snorted. "Her, with him? I mean, she's a young, good looking Marine bomb tech and he's...an old suit."

Ziva fiddled with her earring. "I believe I understand the appeal." For that Tony tickled her and she squirmed away from his fingers, laughing, which brought her even closer to his broad chest. "Not to him. But I find certain older men...attractive."

Tony sighed. "Yeah. Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, Richard Gere."

"I was thinking of men a little less famous."

"Anyone in particular?"

She turned and put her hand over his heart. "If you do not know by now..."

He covered her hand with his and stared seriously into his wife's eyes. "Is this the part where we finally have the conversation about ages, four years in when it's too late to back out?" _I hope._

Ziva searched his face. "The only reason we have never talked about it is because you have gone out of your way to avoid the subject at every opportunity. What is the big deal?"

Tony twirled a curl with his finger. "It sounds like such a long time when you say it out loud. Do you even know the answer?" He remembered Ari and her recitation of his life facts. "Of course you do."

"Nine years," she answered softly.

"Doesn't that bother you?" he demanded. "You're not even thirty yet and I'm on my way to being an old man."

Ziva shook her head. "You are not ancient Tony. You are a handsome man who keeps himself in shape, works hard, and loves deeply. Am I missing some huge character flaw that would cause this irrational concern?"

"Irrational?" Tony spouted.

She leaned up to kiss him. "Yes, irrational. Because I love you and I am spending the rest of my life with you, so my opinion should be the only one that matters."

He gaped at her for several seconds, then finally let the truth sink in. "Well, when you put it that way..."

Ziva smiled and turned back to face the window. "Good." And until they were needed, Tony held her with no witnesses and Ziva rested securely in the warmth of her husband's embrace.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday October 20**

Two minutes after their last charge was picked up Emma checked her watch and glanced at the other adults straightening the room. "You guys got this?"

Her manager, Amy, looked over with a smirk. "Why? Got a hot date there Boss?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Like I'd give you any details."

"Don't have to," Corinne commented. "It's written all over that lovesick expression you wear 24/7."

"Thanks for the support," Emma replied dryly.

Amy bumped her shoulder as she walked by to recycle someone's experiment with safety scissors and purple construction paper. "We tease you with love. And trust us, love is a good look for you."

She smiled. "Thanks. See you tomorrow."

"Mmhmm." Corinne stood with her hands on her hips and surveyed the trail of chaos fifteen little kids under five could leave in their wake. "You and those hooligans masquerading as children."

"Can't you tell how much she loves her job?" Amy rolled her eyes. "Relax Corinne, this is what day care is supposed to look like. At least they had fun."

Corinne went back to muttering under her breath as she gathered pictures books from the floor. Though the older woman came across as gruff, she melted when begged by a group of little girls to play tea party and showed her soft side when their little special needs boy wanted to sit on her lap during circle time and run his fingers over her dark skin. The kids adored her and she them, but let her catch anyone suggesting she had soft spot for the little monsters and they suffered the full wrath of Corinne Althea Jackson.

Smiling at the familiar interplay, Emma grabbed her coat and purse and headed out. Fifteen minutes later she snuck into Flash and leaned against the wall, watching her husband tidy his child portrait area. Small toys littered the white sheet draped in ripples around an oval platform. He must've had a difficult customer today, usually Adrian's own childlike personality got him smiles without the use of props. "Well hello there," she said smoothly, her eyes wandering over his familiar features. "And where have you been all my life?"

She'd appeared out of nowhere too many times for him to still jump at the unexpected sound of her voice and Adrian immediately dropped what he was doing, walking over to slide his arms around her waist. "Down the street and around the corner. I might've passed you on the street a hundred times before our worlds collided." He captured her lips for a long welcome home kiss. "I only wish it could've happened sooner."

Emma touched his cheek. "The timing was perfect and you know it." She pressed her mouth to his briefly. "I love you. Ready to head out?"

Adrian smiled a bit apologetically. "Ten minutes?"

Her eyebrows arched. "Now where have I heard that before?"

He lifted her hand and kissed the back. "I promise. Just need to check the focus on my camera and then we can go."

She shook her head and patted his chest. "I brought a book."

"It won't be like the last time Em, really." As much as he adored his wife, sometimes Adrian got so distracted by what he could capture with his camera that he lost all track of time. On the most recent occasion Emma had been a third of the way through the new book she started when he finally came back to reality. Suddenly inspiration hit. "Hey, want to be my model?"

Disbelief coloured her expression. "You clearly mistake me for someone else." Model never had a chance of showing up on her resume, of that she was quite sure.

Adrian rolled his eyes and led her by the hands over to the low bench set up in a different corner of the room. "Just sit, okay?" She did, seeming uneasy, and he grabbed his camera. "Pretend I'm not here."

"Impossible," she shot back, eyes darting his direction.

"Don't look at me," he coached. "Try...over there, the dove on the wall." Reluctantly she shifted her gaze to the carved wooden bird and heard the tell-tale clicking of his camera lense. "Nice Em. Now this time act like you're reading your book. That's great."

"I think your focus has been tested," Emma pointed out when he instructed her to smile kind of wistfully.

"Only a few more."

A few more turned out to be almost twenty minutes and at that point she was done being posed. "Okay, time to leave."

Adrian sighed disappointedly and stood back. "Yeah, I guess you're right." Flipping back through the photos, he beckoned her closer. "Take a look at some of these honey. They turned out really well."

He'd chosen to do them in black and white instead of colour and Emma was surprised by the result. "You make me look so elegant."

Studying his wife, his eyebrows drew together. "Do you really have no idea how beautiful you are?"

She tugged on her shirt. "You know, I always wanted someone to call me that and really mean it."

"I do," Adrian insisted, punctuating his declaration with a kiss.

"I know." Emma slid her arm through his. "Thank you."

He stowed his equipment and turned off the lights. Emma didn't love having her picture taken, so he'd been forced to sneak in the professional shot he wanted for his desk. Whenever anyone came into the office, he wanted the photo of his wife to be the first thing they saw. And she would always remind him that though his talent lay in capturing and immortalizing scenes and people, his heart would forever be in her hands. It had never had a better home.

**NCIS**

**Thursday October 21**

"It's just as well Gibbs ended up on the brochure," Tony commented as they walked hand in hand to the diner for ice cream and a couple of dances that night.

She glanced over. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Takes me down a peg. I was really excited for awhile about being chosen. I put too much stock in the limelight." His chuckle lacked mirth. "Maybe in some twisted way I thought it would make the others respect me. But I don't think that's ever going to happen."

"When they can see the man I do every day respect will come. If they only knew how much you have done for me, what you have given and sacrificed to keep this marriage together, the darkness we have walked through..." Ziva fingered his wedding band. "They underestimate you. They misjudge you. Nearly a decade you have been on this team and for half that time we have been creating a life of our own and yet none of them know you well enough to see through the act." She sighed. "It makes me sad. And I wonder if I have kept you from really developing relationships with these people. For that I'm sorry."

Tony shook his head. "Nope. Not gonna let you apologize for that Zi. Yeah, sometimes it'd be nice to be real. But I'll take you and the gang over blurting out a secret that could tear us apart. We'll get the chance with the team, someday. I'm not the only one holding off getting closer to them."

Ziva stopped and rested her hands on his chest. "You have my utmost respect Tony. And you are such a good man. Please do not ever forget that."

He grinned and slid his fingers into her hair, claiming her mouth for only one of several caresses they shared in the middle of the sidewalk in their own neighbourhood where they felt safe and at home. "That means the most," he whispered, tucking her hair back. "So, hot fudge or strawberry tonight?"

She let him change the subject, some things didn't need to be dwelt upon. "Actually, I was thinking we could share a banana split. I have not tested Travis's skills on that yet."

"Done," Tony agreed instantly. "Then you and I are going to take good old Millie for a spin with Nat King Cole's L-O-V-E and a couple other hits I can swing you around the room for. What do you say?"

Ziva danced ahead of him, her face lighting with the joy he'd brought to her life. "Yes. And I will race you. Ready, set-"

But by 'go' she'd already taken off and Tony yelled after her about cheating while he worked hard to catch up. They fell inside the diner doors, tangled up and laughing. It was one of those moments Ziva wanted to hold in her heart forever. She'd never been so thankful for anyone as for this wonderful man whom she was lucky enough to call her husband. And she would tell him tonight, putting her heart on mint green sheets of paper tucked somewhere for him to find when he needed a reason to smile.

**NCIS**

**Friday October 22**

Tony caught Ziva standing in front of the window shortly after Gibbs released them at a remarkably normal time for once. "Hey," he spoke the word quietly into her hair. She didn't move but her lips curved slightly as she waited. "Can I interest you in a sunset ride tonight?"

Her brilliant smile reflected in the glass was all he needed for an answer and shortly thereafter he bid the bullpen a goodnight and sauntered out to his car, looking very much like a man who had life going his way. As time was a bit short, they elected to park Ziva's car in a nearby lot instead of taking it all the way home and then the couple cruised through an hour of traffic before pulling into the familiar driveway of their stables.

Since Ziva was faster at tacking up her mount, she flew into the office to sign them in while Tony made his way to the barn and greeted both horses. Jules, upon seeing that he was alone, wanted little to do with him, but Jax immediately sniffed out the treat he'd hidden in his shirt pocket and demanded it right away with a headbutt that knocked Tony back a step. He chuckled. "Hold on a second greedy and let me get it out." Jax impatiently crunched the cookie almost before Tony got his fingers out of the way and he raised an eyebrow. "Easy. I need those later you know."

He let himself into the stall and walked Jax out, clipping him into crossties before retrieving his tack from the back room. Ziva passed him in the hall and a saddling contest ensued, with muffled grunts and laughter as they tried to outdo each other. Being Ziva, she won and shot him a triumphant smile as she led Jules into the cool night air. Tony followed a minute later and found her already mounted. She waited until he was astride Jax and leaned over to caress his lips with hers. "Thank you. This was a fabulous idea."

Tony grinned. "Darlin', you haven't even seen the best part." He went first, leading her up to an open bluff that faced west. The sun, in all its golden glory, slipped behind a line of trees, streaking the sky with ribbons of soft purple and pink while fading rays gilded a passing cloud. His hand sought hers and Ziva clucked her tongue, urging Jules slowly forward. Their meandering pace took full advantage of both the scenery and gradually disappearing light. She was only a shadow beside him when they returned to the barn, where bright bulbs mounted on corners of every building lit up the area halfway to the trees.

They curried and brushed the horses in an unhurried manner, walking back to the car with arms around each other's waists. Back home Ziva went to the kitchen to heat up leftovers and Tony came out of their room with his fist closed around two very important items. He snagged Ziva's left hand as she got out plates and slid the gold circles into place, kissing them for good measure. "Should've done that last night."

His wife smirked. "We were a little busy."

Tony's hands framed her face, bringing their mouths together. "That's no excuse." He'd been serious when she got back, about wearing their rings every night, but the weekend only habit of the past four years was proving hard to break.

Ziva paused before responding to the beep of the microwave. "Tony, I love wearing your rings and I treasure the gift they represent, of our lives joined as one, but not having then on doesn't mean I am any less committed to the vows we made." She was concerned that his recent obsession was more motivated by fear than actual desire to wear his wedding band. "I am not going anywhere."

Tony stifled the 'you might' that leapt to the tip of his tongue, still bitter about their Miami separation. Instead he heaved a sigh and spun his ring. "Do you have any idea how much I treasure this symbol because of keeping the secret? Zi, this ring says I belong to you, that I'm yours until forever. I haven't belonged to anyone since I was a little kid and this is so much deeper and richer for the relationship we share. Can you just...humour me for awhile?" There were no words for him to explain the possessiveness that rose up inside him when her engagement and wedding rings were on her finger where they belonged. He wasn't ready to give that up just because it was a school night.

She smiled slightly and patted his chest as she walked by, watching the diamond glint in the light. "For as long as you want."

Later, after she was in bed wearing a purple negligee Tony always said complimented her skin tone, he came in holding the camera while she was rubbing lotion onto her hands and shifted into place beside her. "I never did show you how our photoshoot came out."

Feeling a slight hesitation from the initial focus of the picture session, Ziva nonetheless looked at each frame and gradually began to see them through her husband's eyes. She pressed her lips to his neck when he finished and lay her head on his shoulder. "They really are quite beautiful. You've obviously picked up some tips from Adrian."

"Tricks," he corrected automatically, then frowned. "Well, it's tips and tricks, so we're both right."

She scrolled back a few pictures and studied one of them kissing. "You know, if we got a close up of this you would not know we are naked."

Tony slid his hand over her thigh, grazing fingers across bare skin where the satin of her nightwear ended. "As much as I love being naked with you, it does make things like these harder to display." He played with the zoom a little. "What do you think? Safe enough to go in our Year Four scrapbook?"

"We did need at least one more for October." Even though they were no longer newlyweds, Ziva still wanted to capture them in every month of marriage. The conspicuous gaps related to his time as Agent Afloat and her return to Mossad, along with Somalia and most recently Miami, were spaces they tried very hard not to notice.

He angled his head to catch her lips, then left to put the camera back. "I think we need to invest in a photo printer." Maybe not one quite as high caliber as the professional one Adrian owned, but something that would at least let them print reasonable quality photos right from home.

Ziva was already laying down. "We can add that to the list." With IVF savings payments taking up several hundred dollars per month, their disposable income wasn't as disposable as it used to be.

Tony collapsed into bed with a sigh. "Sometimes this being a responsible adult stuff is no fun at all."

She rolled over to face him. "But it is worth the sacrifice." Not that she remembered a time in her life when she wasn't required to be responsible and shoulder burdens too heavy for her age. But her husband could regret freedoms he no longer had.

His knuckles brushed over her cheek. "Yeah." The thought of their child was enough to make him willing to give up every indulgence he'd ever allowed himself. "I love you."

A whisper repeated the words back to him as Ziva's heavy eyes finally closed and sleep claimed her body. Tony watched for a minute, enjoying the peaceful expression she wore, thankful the fear of nightmares had all but vanished over the past couple weeks. It was high time life gave them a break.

_Replies:_

_Guest - thank you :) That was my favourite part when I started this series, finding the missing moments that we all would've loved to see between T&amp;Z, glad you enjoy it too. They've definitely worked their way into a deeper relationship than they knew was possible in the beginning, I think it's worth the work. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest #2 - hi :) Wow, you re-read the whole thing? Thanks, I'm glad you like it that much. Oh, sorry to disappoint, but by positive changes I mean the focus no longer being on Ziva's healing and things being more simple in their relationship for awhile. Unfortunately, no baby. But that's a good guess :) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_


	8. 8x5 Dead Air 1

_AN: Hi guys :) Here goes my attempt at getting back to a regular posting schedule at least once a week. I'm not going to get my hopes up for anything more than that yet, but I will do my best. I know I've been away for a really long time and rather inconsistent with MIT and for that I apologize. I really try not to beg for reviews, but feedback has been a little sparse lately so if those of you reading could take just a couple minutes and let me know what you thought of the chapter I'd really appreciate it. I will never not write or hold chapters hostage because of lack of reviews, but it does mess with my motivation when I'm not sure how many people care anymore. Thanks to those who have stuck by me this year, it means more than I can say. Love to all ~Aliyah_

**Saturday October 23**

A tickling sensation slowly drew Ziva towards wakefulness and she had to smile at her husband's adorable expression as he ran a single white feather slowly up and down her arm. "Good morning."

"G'morning." She buried her face in her pillow and caught a glimpse of the time, whipping her gaze back to her bed companion. "It is ten o'clock! Why did you let me sleep so late?"

He considered several different responses and finally shrugged. "You were tired."

"Yes but...but..." Ziva tried but she couldn't articulate that fifteen years of waking up at 5 am made staying in bed for more than a few additional hours feel as if she'd wasted the whole day.

Tony wrapped his fingers around her waving hand and kissed her knuckles. "It's okay to embrace a few American traditions Zi, sleeping in being one of them." He grinned. "Personally, I'm pretty proud of this development. Only four years of trying but I think we're finally breaking through those old habits." Her dark eyes held many doubts so he got straight to the point. "I'm really glad you're comfortable enough in our house and our bed to sleep in. I love that you didn't even stir when I got out of bed. You see it as a loss of skills, I see it as your subconscious finally trusting me enough to relax and let you get the rest you deserve."

She flopped back on the pillow and sighed. He made it very difficult to argue with his logic sometimes. After a moment Ziva lifted her head and arched an eyebrow. "I didn't move at all when you got up?" That in itself was either terrifying because she was losing her edge, or reassuring because she could finally sleep like a normal human being without her reflexes being on a hair trigger at all times.

"Not a bit." Tony brushed some hair away from her face. "I'm declaring this Pyjama and Cartoon Day."

Ziva pulled the covers back up. "Only if I can put on different pyjamas." While her negligee was just right for sleeping under an extra blanket and snuggling with her human hot water bottle, it wouldn't do for keeping out the chill while she wandered around the house in fifty-five degree temperatures.

"Substitutions are allowed," he confirmed, gesturing to his plaid pj pants and long sleeve shirt. That had not been the outfit he slept in.

She stretched luxuriously, smirking at her husband's reaction. "Does breakfast come with this special day?"

He offered a hand to help her out. "Absolutely. But kid food only."

Her forehead creased. "Such as?"

"Fruit Loops. Captain Crunch. Lucky Charms. Alphabits. Trix. Anything bright and colourful will do."

"Do we even own any of those?"

Tony scrunched his nose. "Maybe Alphabits." He winked. "I saw you stash a box of Trix behind the wok when you thought I wasn't looking." Ziva's gaze narrowed and he made a motion of surrender. "I didn't actually touch them! I value my life more than that."

She tried to hide the smile but couldn't and indulged him in a brief kiss once on her feet. If they were going to do any serious making out, Ziva preferred to brush her teeth first. And by the way Tony was looking at her, that might very well be priority number one after they finished eating. Gamely she allowed herself to be tugged away as soon as her feet were encased in thick socks and the same fuzzy blue polar bear pyjamas he'd teased her about last year clothed her in a cocoon of softness, and Tony brought breakfast on trays to the couch, pressing play on the remote before she'd had her first bite.

Sunlight filtered through gentle ocean swells and her eyebrows rose to her hairline at the sight of little orange and white talking fish. "Tony?"

He paused the movie and looked at her. "I'm nine months late on the suggestion, but it's a crime not to know who Dory is from _Finding Nemo_." The last time it came up they were at the aquarium in Philadelphia and she made a 'Squishy' reference. The memory had only just found him again recently and her lack of education about Pixar still needed to be remedied.

Ziva shook her head. "Why do you even own children's movies?"

Tony pursed his lips. "Well, I could try to blame this one on McKenna since she was the first person to get me to watch it." He shrugged. "She was three, thought it was the 'bestest', and 'Please Uncle Tony will you watch with me?'"

"You thawed."

"Melted, but yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "And to be honest, I really enjoyed it. So I picked up a few more of them over the years." Tony fiddled with his spoon. "Basically if the kids saw a movie and thought it was great, I added it to my collection. Kinda silly, huh?"

Ziva kissed his cheek. "Actually, I find it very sweet that you allowed the children to influence your film selections." She mentally censored the next thought, then gathered her courage and decided to share. "You will make-" She covered her mouth and cleared her throat, blinking back emotion because today was meant to be happy. "You are showing me already in so many ways how you will make a wonderful father ahava. I only hope-" She cut herself off, unwilling to say more.

He folded his hands around hers. "We're going to get that chance Zi, I promise." The thought flew through her eyes about making promises he couldn't keep, but not so fast that Tony didn't see it. "I promise." He reiterated the words, trusting Elin's judgement that his wife had a good chance of getting pregnant through IVF. But he'd already started researching their other options, just in case. He took a deep breath. "Thank you honey. You make me feel like I can do anything. And someday," he whispered in her ear, "we'll have a little miracle cuddled between us on a Saturday morning. I just know it babe."

She nodded, giving lip service to his belief all the while thinking how to gently prepare him for the possibility that all their dreams might not come true. Then Ziva pushed away the topic, locked it deep in her heart, and re-started the movie. Today she would just enjoy some uncomplicated silliness with her husband. Everything else could wait for some other time.

**NCIS**

"We're going out for dinner," Brent announced to his family when he came downstairs fresh from the shower after a long run with Cody.

CJ and Ryan looked up from the puzzle they were working on. "Are we? And what's the occasion?"

He pretended to be hurt. "You forgot?" She turned to the calender and searched for an important occasion she'd missed but came up empty. Brent gestured to his son. "Ry, you too?"

The boy's eyebrows drew together. "I don't remember anything Dad."

Sighing dramatically, he plopped down on the couch behind them. "This is a very important day guys." Mother and son exchanged glances, then waited expectantly. Brent smiled. "One year ago today was the first time we met."

"Wow." CJ let out a breath, lining up her engagement and wedding rings. "One year." In that year so much had happened. She'd moved to DC determined to make a fresh start, mend fences with her parents, and prove that she and Ryan could be independent and take care of themselves without anyone's help. Instead she'd stumbled over Brent and that chance meeting had rewritten every plan. When they were just friends thinking about more than friends she thought maybe in a year she'd be comfortable calling him her boyfriend, and possibly several months after that she could handle what it would mean to be engaged. Yet here she was, three hundred and sixty five days later, married with her husband in the process of adopting their son. "I don't know what to say."

"I do," Ryan volunteered. "Johnny Rockets!"

Both parents chuckled and Brent shrugged, spreading his hands. "The monkey has spoken. What do you say Mom?"

"Please Mom!" Ryan added. "It's fun there."

"And they have the best malted milkshakes I've ever tasted," Brent put in.

"You like their cinnamon mints," the boy continued in a wheedling tone and CJ started laughing.

"Lay off guys. Gosh, those puppy dog looks could give Cody a run for his money. I never said I wouldn't go."

"That's a yes?" Brent asked, surprised at how easy it had been. The healthy side of her sometimes shirked the kind of restaurants he and Ryan found irresistible.

"Yes."

"Oh," Ryan said suddenly, "I'll be right back."

He raced up the stairs, leaving his parents a little curious, then came back a minute later carrying a wrapped something in his arms. He held it close to his chest and took a deep breath before handing it reverently to CJ. "Here."

"For me?" she asked, eyes wide.

"For you and Dad," Ryan corrected, watching them carefully.

Sensing this was very important to him, CJ was deliberately gentle peeling the paper back. When it fell away both she and Brent reacted. "Whoa."

"Ry, did you make this?" she asked in awe, running her fingers over the heat carved lines.

"Uh-huh. With Grandpa, when he started teaching me to use the woodburner in his shop."

Very vaguely Brent recalled Ryan saying something to that affect back in the summer. "Buddy, this is awesome. You did so good."

Their son's gift was an oval sign that read _Our Home. Welcome family_. On either side of the words two flowers were carved and painted, his painstaking work obvious in the quality of the craftsmanship.

CJ beckoned him closer and slid her arm around him for a hug. "Thank you Ryan, it's beautiful."

He heaved a relieved sigh and finally cracked a smile. "Good. Grandpa said you'd like it because I made it."

"Grandpa was right," she affirmed. "We're very proud of the work you put into this."

"We're going to have to put this someplace special," Brent decided. "What do you think about the front door Ry? Or would you prefer inside?"

Ryan shook his blonde hair. "Outside is good. Grandpa put something on it so water doesn't wreck the wood."

"Perfect. Then we'll put it up tomorrow." He hugged the boy and kissed his head. "I am so proud of you buddy. You did a great job, thank you."

Ryan merely returned the hug and went to give Cody a treat because he couldn't come with them. CJ gently traced each line, her gaze trailing after their son. "I can't believe it's been a year," she said softly. "I never imagined the anniversary of that moment would find us anywhere close to a destination, and now we're already there."

Brent drew his wife into the circle of his arms. "I'm so glad you didn't make me wait another whole year before we found this place."

CJ brought her lips to his. "I'd say we definitely have a reason to celebrate, wouldn't you?"

He grinned. "Oh, absolutely. And I wouldn't change it for a thing. Come on Ryan," he called, "let's go!" A few minutes later Brent walked out the door with his family and gave thanks that for the first time in twenty years he finally had a reason to say those words again.

**NCIS**

**Sunday October 24**

Ziva had been studying him for several minutes and Tony was beginning to feel uncomfortable. "Could you quit with the Medusa stare Zi? It's kind of creeping me out."

She tilted her head and ignored his request. "You used to wear glasses."

He frowned and put down his crossword puzzle. "My vision is 20/10, I don't wear glasses."

Ziva lifted one eyebrow. "When we were undercover you had glasses on at dinner. I cannot believe it took me so long to remember."

"Undercover Zi. The operative word being 'cover'."

She shook her head. "I don't think so. Abby once mentioned she liked the way you looked in glasses." Ziva stretched her leg out and poked his thigh with her toes. "Why won't you tell me?"

He shifted uneasily. "You'll think I'm stupid."

"Has not happened yet."

Tony scraped fingers through his hair, setting in on end. "I...they were fakes, okay?"

Her brow furrowed. "You wore...glasses that were not real?"

He shrugged and avoided her gaze. "Just frames with plain glass in them, nothing more."

Ziva waited for him to look at her. "Why Tony?"

"Because...because all the smart kids in school wore glasses and I kinda hoped they'd make me look, you know, serious. Less like the class clown." Tony flexed his fingers. "To be honest I'd forgotten all about them."

As much as she wanted to make a comment something along the lines of, 'You used to play dress-up?', his vulnerability and uncertainty chased away her amusement. "I will not make fun of you ahava," she said at last. "I rather liked that look on you myself."

He gave her a half-smile. "Well, I'm getting older. I'll probably need reading glasses like Gibbs, someday."

"May I help you pick them out?"

Tony chuckled. "You really care that much?"

"You are my husband. Of course I care."

He placed a kiss on the palm of her hand. "I like that word, husband. You don't use it nearly often enough."

Ziva crawled across the couch to cuddle against his side. "Someday I will introduce you like that," she promised quietly.

"That's a day I'm looking forward to more than you know," he answered, his voice coming out a bit husky.

Because at the moment that was the most she could give, Ziva tucked her head under his chin and listened to her husband breathe. Ever since they got up everything had been normal, no demons intruding or memories haunting. Hopefully it was a sign that they were finally getting their life together back. After the year they'd had, she would not take even a second for granted.

**NCIS**

**Monday October 25**

Before the desert broke her, Tony had been able to sleep through almost anything. The early years of their marriage, before nightmares and demons were a constant, ever present threat, very little aside from the alarm clock, phone, or his wife's deliberate actions had woken him. But now, after a year of fighting the terrors with her, he was so attuned to Ziva that the slightest sound or movement could jar him from a sound sleep in case she needed to be rescued. And even though her nightmares were getting fewer with longer stretches from one to another the more months that grew between them and that awful summer, he hadn't yet gotten to a place where he could relax and feel confident that her dreams would be peaceful.

The digital numbers on the alarm clock read 0230 when Ziva's restless shifting and occasional whimpers put Tony on full alert. He lay in the dark for several seconds before dragging a hand down his face and rolling over, uncertain what he was about to face. Her hands clenched the covers into fists and her expression was truly agonizing. But no more so than the words that soon escaped her trembling lips. "Please don't hurt him. Please. NO!" she screamed, repeating the words frantically in Arabic as she thrashed and struggled against an invisible force.

Eyebrows knit together, Tony gently touched her shoulder. "Zi."

She flailed away from him, a plea he recognized even through foreign words. _"Don't touch me!"_

He let out a breath. Whatever this was, it was serious. He reached for her again, wishing there was a way to get her out of the memories without terrifying her any more. This time he rested part of his weight on her and closed her into his arms, whispering a steady stream of comfort into her ear. "It's me Zi, it's me. You need to wake up, okay? Please honey, wake up."

Her struggles intensified as she tried to shove him away, and then just as suddenly as it began the nightmare was over and she lay there breathing hard, tears streaming down her cheeks. Tony moved cautiously to wipe a few away and Ziva curled onto her side, a defense mechanism against the phantom pain. He rubbed her back gently and she recoiled from the touch. "You should not have come."

It was a punch to the gut to hear those words again, the same ones spoken when they faced each other in wooden chairs - one prepared to die, the other desperate to live so they could have a second chance. He closed his eyes as white hot pain seared through his heart. A nagging fear he'd buried so deep it hadn't even been acknowledged in months reared up again and for a moment Tony could barely breathe. "Do you...blame me?" he asked, scared to death of the answer. He had no idea how they'd come back from that if she said yes.

Covering her face with her hands, Ziva wept. The tears and sobs seemed never ending and for once he couldn't bring himself to touch her, not when he might be the source of her distress. So he stayed where he was, not moving an inch, his heart fracturing from every corner the longer his question was left hanging in the air. Finally, after what seemed like hours, she scrubbed her wet cheeks with one sleeve and took a deep breath, moving very slowly to her other side so she could look into his eyes.

The depth of pain and fear she saw there broke her heart and Ziva cupped his cheek, smiling slightly when his hand covered hers as if he couldn't face another minute without feeling her skin against his. She shook her head. "No Tony, I don't." She searched his heavy, sad gaze. "How could I when going was my choice? Staying in Israel was my choice. Leaving you-" her voice broke and brown eyes dropped to the sheets. "That was my choice as well, and one I will forever regret."

If she had it to do over again, she would've let him into the office the night before they left and given them a chance to breach the walls her hurt was throwing up. She would've tried harder to see from his side, she would've believed him when he said he had no choice to shoot Michael. She was the one who'd called Rivkin into Mossad, she already knew he was out of control. But once he was dead blaming Tony became easier than taking responsibility for her role in that tragedy.

Thinking back to those dark days Ziva wished she'd asked about his arm and how badly Michael hurt him. She wished they'd sat side by side on the plane, a languages of touches telling them everything when words couldn't be heard over the constant rumble of the engines. She wished the rooftop had never happened, that she hadn't been so blind she couldn't see the truth, that she'd taken him somewhere they wouldn't be seen after he'd made Eli admit it was all his doing and kissed him for loving her enough to get the answers she hadn't wanted to hear.

Her lips caressed his lightly. "I am sorry if I ever made you think that."

Tony dug his fingers into her hair, the simple act of touching her bleeding some of the stress from his body. "I always wondered," he whispered hoarsely. "You never said it, but I couldn't help thinking that deep down you knew it was all my fault."

She covered his mouth to stop anything more. "We broke Tony, and it was awful. But we have made it here, together. There is nothing left to forgive because we have already apologized, and we have taken the chance for a new beginning. Somalia was not your fault."

Moments after her declaration Ziva found herself crushed in her husband's embrace, his own sobs muffled into her shoulder. She held him tightly and stroked his back, offering comfort in language after language and in the wordless outpouring of her love. His grief eventually spent, they fell back to sleep wrapped up in each other. But the turmoil churning in Ziva's soul promised this particular hurdle was not yet fully crossed.

**NCIS**

They were both a little tired upon waking, evidence of that middle of the night struggle visible in dried tear tracks and red rimmed eyes. And though they'd made it through their morning routines and gotten to work on time without any tension between them, there was something off about the way his wife was acting. Tony couldn't put his finger on it, but he was willing to bet quite a lot that she was still wrestling with desert born demons. That fact was confirmed as the hours passed and Ziva's behaviour continued to be unusual.

She went with him to deliver a file to Ducky, claiming when Gibbs asked that the ME had promised to let her try the newest blend of tea he'd acquired. But she was silent the entire ride down in the elevator, holding herself away from him, an air of fragility wrapped around her. Later, when the boss sent Tony and McGee to check something out, assigning Ziva to remain behind and dig into their victim's background, there was such a panicked expression on her face that he almost disobeyed the order. Seconds later she wore a blank mask and refused to so much as make eye contact with him, leaving Tony baffled and concerned.

He was abnormally quiet on the drive and McGee used it as an opportunity to have control of the radio, something his co-worker took no notice of. It finally hit Tony that though their mini, pre-three am therapy session had begun slowly unloosening the knots in his soul regarding how she felt about his role in sending her to Somalia, in the wake of it he had forgotten to ask about her dream. The moments flashed before him again, how anguished she'd been when caught in the throes of yet another nightmare, and he resolved to confront her about it as soon as they were alone. He had a feeling that event held the key to what was going on with her today.

Ziva looked at him with ghosts in her eyes all day and by the time they got home Tony couldn't take it anymore. He slid his arms around her waist as soon as they shed their coats and pressed his mouth to her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

She stilled her subtle attempt to escape. "For what?"

"I made this morning all about me, but I know your nightmare was really bad. What happened?"

Shuddering, Ziva renewed her efforts to get away. "I don't...it's not..." She shook her head. "Please Tony, do not ask me."

He frowned at her evasion. "Don't hide this from me Zi. You were terrified, it was awful to watch." Her words echoed in his brain. "You said...you were begging them not to hurt someone, who?" Her body stiffened and she clamped her lips shut. Tony waited a moment and then decided her reaction came from fear, not stubbornness. Against her will he picked her up and carried his wife the short distance to the couch. Settling her between his knees, he folded her into a gentle embrace. "It's okay. Tell me honey, please."

Though she fought it with every fiber of her being, his loving persistence won out and she covered her face with her hands. "You," she whispered brokenly. "The person I did not want them to hurt. Tony they-they had you. And...they made me watch. You were in such pain and I could not make them stop. No matter what I did they kept on torturing you. It-seeing that ripped my heart out." She started to cry then, repeating the words over and over. "You should not have come. You should not have come. Tony, I could withstand anything they did to me, but I would have broken the moment they touched you."

She trembled uncontrollably and Tony hugged her hard, wanting her to feel the strength of his body and the reality that he was safe at home with her. "That wasn't real babe, it was a dream. And we got you back."

Things Ziva had never considered suddenly swirled around in her mind and she turned to stare at him, her heartrate accelerating as her breaths grew shallow. "I didn't see it, but you were there." She raked her fingers through what had been a nice hairstyle earlier. "You were there, before I was brought to that room. How long?" she demanded, a thousand unspeakable scenarios running rampant through her head.

In the beginning Tony had never thought to mention his time in Somalia except how it related to her rescue. Oh, he'd obliquely referenced it to Tim and Dr. Maitland, but to tell Ziva when she was struggling and grasping for each inch of healing didn't even occur to him. As the months went by he pushed it to the back of his mind, never leaving room to dwell on the experience. Ziva was more important. But now she was firmly out of the woods, so close to being back to normal some days that he wanted to shout with joy from the rooftops. The problem was that with the focus off her progress she would inevitably begin trying to make up for the time spent on her by turning the tables on him.

Her glittering eyes left no recourse but a truthful answer and Tony cleared his throat. "One day." Ziva's mouth opened and he covered it with his finger. "That's it Zi, one. Which is no comparison at all to four months."

"Ohh." She swallowed and blinked back the moisture threatening to overwhelm her again. Her fingers fluttered over him - his ring finger, his chest - finally settling for stroking the thin gold chain he wore. "What-what did they do to you?" she ventured at last. Recalling now that they got captured on purpose, she could imagine all too well the consequences. Saleem would not have taken trespassing lightly.

He sighed. "It's not important."

Ziva made him look at her. "It is," she stated firmly.

Tony was determined not to make this an issue. "Nothing compared to what you went through. A lot of being beaten. Water deprivation. Several hours tied up outside in the burning sun in an effort to loosen our tongues. Then being shot up with Saleem's drug cocktail. And fear, always fear that I wouldn't be able to stall them long enough for Gibbs to get in position, for McGee to get out safely, or have a good enough opening to exact the revenge I came for."

"I didn't know," she said softly, hanging her head.

"You couldn't have known Ziva."

"But I never asked!" she retorted sharply, frustrated with her lack of empathy in the early days. "I let you do everything for me and I did not asked about you. I never made sure your arm was okay after Michael, I cared only for the hurt revolving around me." She placed her palms on his cheeks. "I'm sorry tesoro, I should have done so much differently. And I am sorry for what you suffered, both because of my leaving and in the camp."

He didn't think she was to blame but provided the answer she needed anyways, because it was the truth. "I forgive you."

Ziva looked away from him. "What about McGee?"

"Much of the same. Except that he was saved some of the beatings because one of the men hit him too hard with a rifle butt and knocked him out cold for a few hours." He pushed some hair over her shoulder. "Tim and I are fine Ziva, we're okay. And that miserable day was worth it just to get you out alive. I would've gone through the same thing and worse a thousand times if I knew it meant having you back alive."

She fell against his chest and held on tight, her arms a vice-like grip around his waist. "Thank you," she said so softly he barely heard. Tony reciprocated, relieved to have that out of the way, and buried his face in her hair. Some time later, they didn't know how much, Ziva looked into his eyes and smiled. "I think I would like to make love to you now. I believe we both need it."

Grinning, he kissed her palm. "You won't hear me turning down an offer like that."

A veil of solemnity fell across her face for a moment. "Are we okay Tony?"

He helped her off the couch, walking backwards and leading her slowly towards their room. "Babe, trust me, we are so much better than okay."

That earned him a deep, passionate kiss that left them both breathless and would only be the first of many as husband and wife took precious time together to salve a few newly opened wounds and express the joy they felt at being granted one more chance.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday October 27**

Their crime scene was a radio station and the killshot had been caught on air. Like any little boy, when he saw the board with all sorts of buttons and blinking lights Tony had to sit down, put the headphones on, and try it out. Ziva almost laughed at McGee's expression, disappointed that he didn't get there first. "You know, I thought about going into radio after college."

Ziva looked over the day's program schedule. "Is that so?"

"As a sport's commentator. I could've been one of the greats Zi." Noticing his slip, he hid a wince. But he had called her 'Zi' when they were not technically dating, so hopefully the fondness behind the nickname didn't catch anyone's attention.

She reached out a hand to ruffle his hair affectionately and froze, remembering Gibbs was just on the other side of two way glass that wouldn't protect them as Observation did. Withdrawing, she swallowed and fixed her eyes on the clipboard. "I am not so sure they could handle all the ab libbing."

He chuckled. "Ad libbing. And I think my particular brand of improv would only accentuate my talents."

"You wanna ad lib yourself into doing your job DiNozzo?"

Tony gulped. "Right away Boss." He rewound the tape to the moment of the shot and shook his head after listening to the recording a couple times. "It'll have to go to Abby, there's too much echo in here to tell type of gun or where the sound came from." While Gibbs and McGee took pictures and catalogued the other room, Tony removed the headphones. "You ever want to do something different Zee-vah? Or was ninja always on your list?"

Ziva fingered her badge. "I wanted to be a ballerina. To travel and see the world, doing what I loved." She shrugged one shoulder. "I have traveled and seen the world. I suppose two out of three is not bad."

His heart ached at her candor and he opened his mouth to ask again if she would think about using the dance studio he'd found for her last Christmas, but Gibbs walked by and the moment was lost. Next thing Tony knew he was being tasked with infiltrating suburbia and obtaining a voice sample from each guy to try and match the one who called into the radio station. When the first door was slammed in his face he got a glimpse of how challenging the rest of his morning would be. A few houses down a dark-haired woman opened the door in her bathrobe and his first thought - wow - had barely registered before warning signs popped up in the form of a blue bikini she wasn't shy about showing off. The invitation, however, was a splash of cold water and he came to his senses, holding up his left hand.

"I'm married."

While he froze, unable to believe that just slipped out, the woman raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Really? Where's the ring?"

Tony looked at his hand in surprise, then lowered it, fingering the empty spot where his wedding band belonged while he frantically searched for an explanation. "Oh, I uh, must've left it by the sink this morning. But it exists. Scout's honour." The reason sounded lame even to his own jaded ears and he wanted to apologize to Ziva.

"Shame. I bet you'd be more fun than the last guy."

"And that's my cue. Thanks for your time." Aware that everything was being recorded and who knows how many people were listening, Tony couldn't even breathe a sigh of relief. He endured the scorn of more than a few of the neighbours, stopped a guy backing his car out of the drive, and caught up to a couple joggers to ask the required questions. An interminable amount of time later he collapsed into the backseat of the car where McGee and Ziva sat up front reading.

McGee glanced back. "What happened to you?"

He aimed a lackluster glare at the probie. "Don't play dumb. You reveled in every minute of my suffering."

"Actually, no," the other man explained nonchalantly. "We've been not listening for the last hour."

Ziva didn't even look up from her magazine. "One can only stand to hear the same thing over and over for so long."

Feeling incredibly hurt and utterly betrayed by the people he trusted to watch his back, Tony stared at them. "Are you serious?"

Ziva and McGee exchanged glances and she chuckled. "Of course not Tony. It is against procedure to leave your partner alone in the field. Besides, you did have some amusing moments. Do I understand right that you're married, a father to three children, and a film professor at a reputable university? Not to mention owning two dogs and a spoiled Persian cat. Just where are you hiding this family anyways?"

He shot her a dirty look she couldn't see and McGee rolled his eyes. "Did you talk to everyone?"

Narrowing his eyes, the senior field agent scrutinized his teammates. "What's the distress phrase?"

"How about those Nationals?" McGee recited in a bored tone. "Now answer the question."

Relieved that it had just been a joke, Tony shook his head. "Nice job with the poker faces. And yes, I got all forty-three residents. Those people are a piece of work. I felt like I was in the _Stepford Wives_ meets _American Beauty_." He coughed. "Is there anything to drink? I've got a little tickle in my throat."

Ziva handed over her water bottle without comment, but their fingers brushed and his eyes locked on hers. _Yes, I'm married and I said it out loud. And you know what? It felt good._

Her gaze telegraphed a warning. _Watch who you say those words to Tony. Everyone is a spy who could let it slip to the wrong person. And we cannot be sure yet._

McGee groaned. "Enough already you two. A guy could feel like a third wheel with all the eye sex going on around here."

Tony tore his eyes away from Ziva. "What was that you didn't want me to tell Gibbs Probie? Something about Abby sleeping over and it taking longer than usual getting out of the house?"

"Forget it," he muttered. The key to blackmail material was having something better than the other guy and even after five years of watching them he still didn't have proof to back up his suspicions. Not yet, at least. But he could still hope.

**NCIS**

When Gibbs suggested sending Ziva in undercover as herself both partners were appalled. "You want to what?"

McGee cut his eyes to their boss. "Erase the last five years to give you a believable story about going rogue from Mossad."

Ziva crossed her arms. "After how hard I have worked to get away from them I do not know how you could just-"

Gibbs cut her off with a hand on her shoulder. "It's not forever. We'll get it back."

She leveled a steely eyed glare at McGee and he swallowed, nodding rapidly. "Yeah, of course. Definitely. Look," he plugged a zip drive into his computer, "I'm saving it right now. I won't even lose a keystroke, I promise Ziva."

Still unhappy about it, Ziva ground her teeth. "Fine. I need to go home and change."

"Why?" Gibbs asked.

"Because Officer David," she practically spat the title, "would not wear this." Ziva grabbed her bag and strode away while Tony scrambled to collect his gun and badge, looking at Gibbs for permission.

He nodded. "Calm her down. This won't work otherwise." He hadn't expected his request to affect her so much, but given all she'd been through in the last year the reaction did make sense.

Tony wasn't in time to catch her and spotted the familiar Mini peeling out of the lot. Breaking land speed records to try and tail his wife as she swerved from lane to lane, snuck between cars, and almost took the paint off a crosswalk, was like being in one of McGee's crazy video games. Despite best efforts he lost her and she was already inside when he parked. Tony followed the irate Hebrew muttering to their bedroom and found Ziva kneeling on the floor, tearing clothes out of dresser drawers.

A pair of pants went flying and Meira ducked to avoid wearing them, watching her mistress curiously. The next projectile was a head scarf and he caught it, still unsure of his approach. "Ziva."

She whirled around and stalked to the closet, grabbing an armful of shirts and throwing them violently on the bed. "Besheket!" she ordered, not in the mood to be placated. So Tony stayed silent while Ziva threw off her blouse and replaced it with a black t-shirt. His fleeting thought about brushing fingers over her beautiful tan skin was halted abruptly when he considered that, in this mood, he was likely to lose one rather than help. Old cargo pants were next and Ziva dug combat boots out of the closet, shoving her feet inside and lacing them up with a vengeance.

When she started scraping her hair into a severe ponytail braid, Tony finally stepped forward. "That's not right."

Tying off the end, she frowned. "What?"

"The hair. Classic Mossad Ziva hair was wild and untamed."

She tossed the brush down. "I don't want to be that woman anymore. She was a killer who never listened to her heart. I am an agent, a person. I do not want to be Mossad again."

He risked getting into her personal space with the tension radiating off of her like a heater and tugged out the first elastic, unweaving her braid, then the second, watching dark locks tumble down her back. "Let's compromise then honey. Bend over and comb it out."

Rolling her eyes because she assumed he was doing that mostly to check her out, Ziva did as he asked and flipped her hair back up, the mirror reflecting only a hint of her five years younger self. "Now just gather it up and put it in a loose ponytail like you'd wear if I told you we were going to the barn."

Her brow furrowed. "Is that a bribe Tony?"

"Can be, if you want."

Reluctantly Ziva complied and grabbed a tan jacket from the mess on the bed. "Will I do?"

Tony tipped her chin up. "Pretty good." Her reward was a kiss. "Now where's that sassy confidence I love?"

She sighed and closed her eyes, opening them with a teasing twinkle that had to be forced as she struck a casual pose. "Remember me, Agent DiNozzo?"

The act clearly took effort and he leaned closer. "I've seen you in every version of yourself, but I'll gladly take my Ziva back when today is over."

Her hand slid up his chest. "And you shall have her." She pressed her lips to his cheek. "Thank you Tony."

He grinned. "Anytime." Tony took her hand. "C'mon beautiful, you've got a date with destiny."

An hour later he sat in the car with McGee, an uneasy feeling growing inside as he watched Ziva slouch in the seat across from Haskell, eerily similar to her pose in McGee's chair the day they met. Though he knew it was only a facade the pretending was hard to spot when she acted totally at ease, exuding a sexuality and confidence he missed sometimes. He glanced at his teammate. "Beautiful and deadly, don't you agree?"

McGee studied Ziva. "Except for the ponytail and pants, she sort of reminds me of the time you two were undercover."

He chuckled. "You don't forget sharing a bed with a body like that, trust me McDateless." Inside Tony cringed at referring to his wife as an object rather than a person of value, even if that's what was expected of him.

Tim frowned. "Yeah, but you guys were just putting on a show, right?"

Perfectly happy to mess with their gullible probie, Tony cleared his throat and declined to answer. But that didn't stop him from remembering what it had been like, the freedom to touch and kiss her without the risk of losing a limb, to dream about going all the way with her. But his shallow then-self would've missed out on so much if he'd never grown past wanting to get into her pants. It was hard, however, not to compare the differences. "Sometimes I miss that little minx," he said under his breath, eyes never leaving his wife.

**NCIS**

Her cover established, back at the office Ziva set about organizing her weapon collection while Tony's throat was examined by Ducky. He'd been quite concerned and embarrassed to lose his voice in the middle of an interrogation, so the ME was immediately summoned. Tony's eyes were glued to Ziva as she got a locked box out of the secure bottom drawer of her desk and began sorting through the contents. His voice was very hoarse but he couldn't resist a comment. "Gearing up for your return as Capitol Hills Ninja?" She frowned at him, not getting the subtly tweaked movie reference, and pulled out a selection of knives.

He craned his neck for a better view and Ducky sighed. "Anthony, this would be so much easier if you kept still."

Ignoring the doctor, Tony continued the rather painful one-sided conversation. "Didn't know you stopped using those." Come to think of it, the number of weapons he'd had to remove from her person in order to feel safe engaging in physical contact had begun to slowly lessen over the last few months. Usually he let her keep the paperclip though, because flirting with danger was a habit he seldom gave up completely.

Ziva weighed two knives in her hands. "I began downsizing when I became a citizen." Her security, however, had been difficult to part with, which was one of the reasons she still kept them close by.

While Ducky palpitated his throat, Tony watched her flick one open. "Feel good?"

She smiled slightly. "Familiar. Like seeing an old friend."

He made a face. "Don't get used to it." He preferred her a little less armed and dangerous when they were in close proximity thank you very much.

Ziva pulled a smaller knife from a sheath with a cord and examined it. Light glinted off the blade and her partner winced. "Do I make you nervous Tony?" she asked, smirking.

Whatever his answer, it was interrupted by Ducky pressing too hard on a sensitive spot. "Ow!" he squeaked, jerking back.

"My apologies Anthony," the doctor offered, "but I don't see anything serious." The agent frowned at him. "Nothing to be concerned about, at any rate. Merely some inflammation from overuse." Ducky glanced back at Ziva and Tony could sense a conspiracy. "However, to prevent further damage I suggest you refrain from talking for the next twenty-four hours." Unable to help herself, Ziva snorted and Tony shot his wife a dirty look. Even Ducky seemed far more amused than was proper. "I understand such a task won't be easy."

Ziva was almost gleeful as she crossed her arms and sat back on her filing cabinet. "But we certainly look forward to seeing you try." Tony had plans for revenge, but they would have to wait until he could be alone with her. An audience was not necessary for the kind of slow, drawn-out, delightfully agonizing punishment percolating in his imagination.

"Let us hope there are no movie references that require your edification. I seem to recall-"

Gibbs came around the corner and glared. "Don't bait him Ducky. Last thing I need is a permanently mute Senior Field Agent."

Ducky's face reflected disappointment. "We were only going to have a bit of fun Jethro."

"Save it for later," the team leader barked. He looked at Ziva. "Ready yet David?"

She slipped the sheath cord over her head and tucked it inside her shirt. "As much as I can be." The partners' eyes met briefly and she forced a neutral expression. "Well, I am off. Who will be back up?"

"McGee and me," Gibbs replied and Tony thought he caught a hint of twinkle in the man's eyes. Did Gibbs even make media references? Let alone to little known early nineties kids' TV shows? Nah. He was probably just imagining things. Though he wished he'd imagined the boss's next comment. "DiNozzo can stay and do research." He opened his mouth to make his case but Gibbs' burning stare shut up him up fast. "No talking. No arguing. No moving from that spot. Got it?"

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes because it would only get him headslapped, Tony nodded once. He felt like crossing his arms and pouting petulantly as the rest of the team left without him, but that also would do him no good. With a silent sigh he sat down and got to work.

**NCIS**

Hours after her second meeting had gone over without a hitch and McGee confirmed the money transfer to her from Haskell, Ziva returned to their target's garage with Gibbs, McGee, and the bomb disposal unit, guns drawn as they cleared the room. Haskell, unexpectedly out cold on the floor while the bomb was discovered to be missing, was diagnosed with a mild concussion and hauled off to Interrogation where Gibbs began working to get information. Ziva, meanwhile, sat in an NCIS conference room with the daughter, Kristen, who wanted nothing to do with her father if he'd been stupid enough to get mixed up with terrorists. But she was able to give him an alibi for the radio station murder.

Understanding all too well the way of a hurt daughter's logic, Ziva nonetheless didn't want the interview to end on a hopeless note. Sighing, she leaned closer to the girl. "Um look, Kristen, fathers...they make, uh, mistakes." She hadn't really thought before she began talking and now her mind spun as she tried to work the answer out for herself as well as Haskell's daughter. In an effort not to say the wrong thing she spoke slowly and thoughtfully and it was a challenge to force the words out. "Mistakes that sometimes require a lot of forgiving."

Kristen blinked rapidly, not wanting to cry. "Did your dad ever do something like this?"

Ziva froze and for a moment almost forgot to breathe, then she shook away the emotion. "My father has rarely made anything but mistakes," she shared carefully. "Often ones that caused...a great deal of pain in my life."

"Have you forgiven him?"

_Forgive him_. Hadn't Aunt Nettie said something about that once, when she tried to remind her niece what Eli had been like when she was young? The part of Ziva still angry and filled with hate over her desert experience, caused in no small part by the man who had consecutively sacrificed his children for country, pushed back hard._ Never! I will never forgive him for what he did! _But the other side of her mourned for what had never been. _I would not even know where to start. Perhaps in some cases it is simply not possible to forgive, or forget_.

Pasting on a fake smile for Kristen, Ziva shook her head. "No. Not yet. But I know I should." She put her hand over the girl's. "Forgiveness is not for the person who did wrong, it is for you. Hate is too ugly a thing to hold onto for long without marring the beauty of your heart and your ability to love. Just think about it." The wisdom came from her mother and perhaps, Ziva thought, it was meant for her too.

**NCIS**

Their scrambling search to find the whereabouts of Matt Lane, mailman turned vigilante, lead them to a baseball field and the makeshift detonator of a barbeque and propane tanks. Screaming for everyone to clear the area, Ziva started towards the grill but found it padlocked and only degrees from detonation - not enough time to disarm it. Turning away she saw her husband standing too close and fear held her in a vicelike grip before she yelled and her feet started moving. "Tony!"

His gaze swivelled to meet hers and the next thing Tony knew he was being tacked to the ground. The bomb exploded and Ziva tucked her head beside his, both of them using their hands and arms to shield the other's head and face from the blast. When debris stopped tumbling Ziva slowly looked up and for a long moment they just lay on the ground staring at each other. Tony swallowed and brushed a few strands of hair out of her eyes. "This is nice," he managed, though her weight on his chest and the air that had been knocked out of him by contact with the ground, not to mention his laryngitis, made speaking a bit difficult. "I miss the old Ziva."

Her forehead furrowed and she caressed his cheek. "Do you? What about her?" Then her finger was placed over his lips. "You are not supposed to talk."

Tony groaned. "But there's so much to say."

"It can wait." She did wonder, however, what he missed. Their current position brought memories flitting through her mind of a cold shipping container and a ricocheting bullet. But that wasn't the only time and she was dragged back further, almost five years to their first undercover assignment very early in a still unsettled and undefined partnership between two very different people. Ziva remembered naked bodies pressed together and wrapped in smooth sheets as they kissed and touched and acted their way through two very long days.

Tony's concerned green eyes searched hers when the silence lengthened and he wondered if this was another case of saying the wrong thing or giving her an incorrect impression of what he meant. But she didn't speak and he couldn't ask without being reprimanded, so any necessary clarification would have to wait. Tony and Ziva stayed where they were, locked in an intense form of wordless communication, until Gibbs' relatively unimpressed growl broke through their concentration. "David!" he shouted. "DiNozzo! Status, now!"

Ziva shot her husband a smile and tapped her earwig. "We are fine Gibbs. You can stop yelling." She glanced toward him and caught the full force of his glare.

"Then stop laying there like idiots and get to work. We've got a crime scene to contain."

She rolled her eyes where Tony wouldn't've gotten away with it and slowly moved off of him, placing her hands and knees carefully so as not to injure him. Ziva helped him to his feet and they began carrying out familiar duties with the others. Later, as dusk fell and the lights on the field came on, the gang all took a moment to appreciate a wonderful part of American heritage. Then Ziva stepped between Tony and McGee, picked up a ball and a couple abandoned mitts, and tossed one to their silver-haired leader. "Catch?"

He joined her and Ziva's lips curved up, holding the ball thoughtfully before throwing it. McGee, the only one out of the loop, seemed surprised. "You know about baseball Ziva?"

Both players sported smiles now and she nodded. "Yes." One finger tapped the ball and she lobbed it across the space between them. "My father taught me."

Gibbs lifted his glove and caught the familiar white sphere, then winked at her. Tim and Tony couldn't bear to be left out for long and found their own equipment, and for the first time ever they had what Abby would call a team bonding experience. All without saying more than a handful of words. This was Team Gibbs at its best.


	9. 8x5 Dead Air 2

_A/N: Hi guys! I just wanted to say thank you so much for the outpouring of support I received for the last chapter. It was so great to hear from everyone and the encouragement is much appreciated :) I hope you enjoy this next installment. Have a great week! ~Aliyah_

**Wednesday October 27 continued**

Showers were much anticipated upon arriving home, both eager to wash off the soot, dirt, and grime from the day's events. Rather than share the cozy stall as Tony would've preferred, Ziva waved him towards the bathroom and said she had an errand to run. "But leave me some hot water or you will be sorry," she warned, knowing how long he liked to spend under the soothing spray, and flashed her paperclip at him.

Not permitted to speak, Tony crossed his heart, grinned, and watched her leave to take Meira for a walk, which would likely become a run if she meant it literally about doing her errand that way. Forty minutes later he was clean and dry and feeling tired but refreshed. Ziva and Meira came through the door as Tony was finishing sandwiches and she kissed his cheek, taking a large bite of hers. Halfway through she slowed down and left her food on the plate. "I got you something."

Intrigued, Tony tried to follow her but she spun around and held up one finger, then pointed to the couch. Sighing, he complied and Ziva brought over a dollar store bag, pulling out two items. "A mini white board with different coloured markers and a pad of blank paper," she explained. "Use whichever you prefer, but I'm holding you to Ducky's ban on talking." His eyebrows rose and mouth fell open, but at her stern look he closed it again, grabbing an orange marker and the whiteboard. He hadn't even finished two words before Ziva shook her head. "No I won't reconsider. No matter how persuasively you ask." She leaned forward to kiss him, the easiest way to keep his attention.

"Unlike McGee, I happen to like the sound of your voice." Her fingers slid down his cheek. "And I would miss your whispers in my ear, the delight of your laughter, the way you say my name, and everything murmured in the cover of darkness." Both hands cupped his throat. "So rest your voice my love, and maybe tomorrow you will be back to normal."

Tony pressed a fervent, heated kiss to the inside of her wrist before she took her turn to get clean, and rustled through the bag for regular markers to use. He had a conversation to plan. When Ziva came out, her damp hair curling slightly, in comfy cozy clothes that befitted the cooling fall weather, he was ready. She brought her sandwich plate over with a glass of milk for herself and a cup of chamomile tea for him, and sat cross-legged facing her husband. Tony flipped pages back to the beginning and pointed to the first question. _**Did I say the wrong thing at the field?**_

Ziva's smile was a glimmer. "You may have to be more specific."

_Great, _he thought_, did I say more than one wrong thing? __**About missing the old Ziva.**_

She picked at a piece of lettuce. "It was not easy to act that part again ahava. On the ship I told Malachi that old skins are not natural to crawl back into. That is how it felt today."

Tony looked to make sure his sentences were still in the right order and tapped his finger on the next one. _**I think you misunderstood.**_

"Then you will have to explain Tony," Ziva responded sadly, "because the woman I am now is all I have to give. I cannot be her again, not even for you."

He shook his head emphatically and jabbed towards a paragraph written in bold strokes. _**I love you Ziva. Yeah, sometimes I miss the teasing and playfulness and pushing boundaries, the sexual innuendos and regular death threats. But then you were untouchable, unreachable, a desire and nothing more. I wouldn't change or trade what we have now for anything in the world.**_

She blinked back tears. "Really?"

_**Promise**__,_ he scrawled hastily under.

Ziva shrugged. "It is okay if there are things you miss. I cannot now claim to be the same woman you married."

Tony frowned. She was deviating from what he'd envisioned. He turned the pad back towards him and found some blank space. _**All that matters is I did marry you. I can't imagine a different life and wouldn't want to miss out on the last four years with you sweetheart. I plan on our marriage lasting decades, of course people will change in that amount of time. So we remember the past fondly, enjoy the present, and look forward to whatever the future has in store for us.**_

She swallowed. "Did you borrow that from a greeting card?"

_**That's my heart Zi**_**,** he retorted gently. _**I love you.**_

Ziva nodded. "I love you too yakiri. I am so thankful we have made it here together." She toyed with the last bite on her plate and Tony wrinkled his nose, indicating something in capital letters.

_**EAT!**_

She chuckled. "You predicted I would need prompting for that?" Obligingly she finished the sandwich and milk. "Was there anything else? I am suddenly very tired."

That tended to happen whenever they had to get serious and honest. _**Not really. I just wanted to make it clear that I don't regret anything about my Ziva.**_

"Thank you." Her hand settled on his knee. "You did."

Tony gulped down his now lukewarm tea and they left everything in the sink to deal with later. They trudged into the bedroom and Ziva stopped short at the sight of her clothes strewn all over the room and half the contents of their closet dumped in the middle of the bed. "Oy vey iz mir." Sighing, Ziva began hanging them up. Tony watched for mere seconds before nudging her out of the way, grabbing the whole mess, and dropping it over the corner chair. When she looked up in protest he simply mouthed, _**Tomorrow**_, to which she tiredly agreed, hoping everything would not be wrinkled beyond repair by the time it was put away.

After pyjamas had been donned they headed to the bathroom where teeth were brushed and the couple crawled into bed, feeling every ounce of the adrenaline drain. Tony curled up around his wife, holding her a little bit tighter when he thought about how close they'd been to the explosion, and breathed in the fresh scent of her shampoo. Because she forbade talking, he drew _ILY_ on her palm and smiled when she returned the gesture. That was always the best way to end a day.

**NCIS**

"McGee," Abby ventured as their movie was wrapping up, "what do you think about dinner?"

His brow furrowed. "Isn't it a little late?"

"Not tonight," she giggled. "But us, once a week maybe? On a different day from Movie Night." Abby shrugged. "I miss cooking with you."

Tim's mind drifted back to the summer when they'd spent nearly every waking moment in each other's company. It has been so easy and comfortable, their friendship proving a strong foundation for living together. Those weeks gave him a taste of what something real with Abby would look like and he hoped she'd notice, as he did, that they made it work very well. Last Valentine's Day McGee reminded himself that progress in their relationship came in small steps and this was the second time in two months she'd initiated another move. That had to count for something.

He smiled. "I'd like that Abbs. Did you have a day in mind?"

"Monday?" she offered. "It works because then we hang out Wednesday too but don't clog up the weekend in case we have plans." Her weekends were usually quite full of either friends and concerts, bowling with nuns, or some of her multiple volunteer projects.

"Fine by me." Tim squeezed her hand. "I better go. Gibbs isn't likely to take it easy on us tomorrow just because today was crazy."

"He's really a softy," his companion confided, walking him to the door.

McGee chuckled. "Just to you Abby. And Ziva, I guess. Gibbs has a soft spot for girls."

Abby kissed his cheek. "We like being special. See you tomorrow."

He walked away but couldn't resist a backwards glance and little wave. The only thing that could be better than this was if he didn't have to leave at all.

**NCIS**

**Thursday October 28**

Leaning back on the bench with her coat zipped up to her chin and face lifted towards the sun, soaking in the late autumn rays, Ziva waited as the phone rang. One, two, three, four times and just as she thought they might've missed their chance, a well loved voice answered the call. "Shalom."

Ziva smiled. "Tzohorayim tovim Doda. We just called to see how you were doing." _Good afternoon._

"Zivaleh!" Delight reflected in the old woman's tone. "It is so good to hear from you! A month goes by fast but I miss you just the same."

"We miss you too," the dark haired agent spoke for her husband as well.

"We?" Nettie questioned. "Is my nephew there?"

Ziva loved how her aunt claimed Tony. The man was sorely in need of more loving family who appreciated him. "Yes. He is sitting right beside me. We are out to lunch."

Tony's nose scrunched and he mouthed the correction. _**For. Out for lunch.**_

She rolled her eyes while Nettie continued. "May I say hello?"

Considering it, Ziva finally shook her head. "Ani mitzta'eret Doda, but he is not allowed to speak."

Tony pouted while Nettie contemplated the information. "Is he in trouble?" she inquired at last.

Her niece chuckled. "Lo, I would not play that game. Tony is recovering from voice strain and was instructed not to talk for twenty-four hours. It has not been easy," she patted his leg, "but I am proud of him for following the rules."

_**Only for you**_, Tony replied, kissing her fingers.

"When is the ban lifted?" Nettie could well imagine the difficulty her nephew found keeping his social nature in check.

Ziva pressed her lips to her husband's cheek and stole a carrot from his salad. He made a 'mine' face and turned away, shielding the food from her reach. "In a couple hours." She sighed. "I am looking forward to it."

"You do not appreciate the silence?" Nettie asked. "There was a time that was all you craved Zivi."

"Not anymore." She locked eyes with the man she loved. "His words are often my greatest comfort now."

Nettie smiled. "That I am glad to hear. So tell me tsiporkatan, what else is new?" _Little bird._

While Ziva filled her aunt in on their activities since September's phone call, Tony gave up the pretense of being possessive with food, sharing cucumber slices, half his bun, and nudging her choice of wrap closer until she finally paused to take a bite and hear what Nettie had been up to. The old lady insisted on at least saying hello even if he couldn't respond, wished them all her love, and promised to store up lots of adventures to share when it came time to talk again.

The newsy call ended the same time as their lunch break and the couple ambled back to Headquarters, with Ziva making her lunch to go and finishing as they arrived in the bullpen. Still finishing the paperwork from yesterday's case, the team remained focused through the next couple hours, hoping to get it done before the next crisis hit.

At two pm, however, Tony's ban on talking was lifted, announced by the incessant beeping of his watch alarm. He drew a deep, relieved breath and threw out his arms. "Freedom! Finally!"

Across the bullpen Ziva fought a smile while McGee sighed. "So much for quiet. I was really enjoying that."

Tony aimed a scrunched up paper ball at their probie's head. "Put on a good front McFaker, we all know you barely survived an entire half-day without McNames, movie references, and mindless trivia. What would you do without me?"

"Gee, I wonder," Tim shot back sarcastically, refusing to look at his coworker. There was no sense encouraging him.

Ignoring the lackluster reaction, Tony prattled on with barely a breath for five whole minutes before Gibbs had enough and pounded a fist on his desk. "DiNozzo, you have two seconds to get back to work before I transfer you to an igloo in Siberia!"

Tony paused mid-sentence, eyes darting momentarily to Ziva before he cleared his throat. "On it Boss."

Gibbs sat back in his chair, rubbing his forehead. It was going to be a long afternoon.

**NCIS**

The shiver inducing kiss he got by the car for whispering a handful of sweet nothings in his wife's ear had nothing to do with his offer of an evening with the horses, though he'd take that reward any day. A loosely promised bribe from yesterday needed to be fulfilled and Tony never got enough of the joy on Ziva's face every time she had the chance to ride. A slow, hot for reasons other than just water temperature shower followed their return home and then Ziva tore herself away to walk Meira when Tony promised to have a late dinner ready as soon as she came back through the door. But after the way she'd been looking at him all night he found it very hard to let her go.

Dinner was simple chicken breast with rice and steamed vegetables, and as it cooked he leaned against the counter with a notepad in hand and scratched out a love letter for his wife. In it Tony reiterated all his points from their conversation last night, stating again that of all the people she'd been he loved his Ziva best and ended simply, _I am so glad to have you in my life Zi. Your love will always be the best gift I've ever gotten. All my heart, your husband Tony. PS. Reason #840 - I love you for sharing Aunt Nettie with me. Thanks for letting her adopt the kid no one else wanted. I am so grateful she is your family._

A quick once over was all that got accomplished before he spied his two favourite girls coming up the walk and Tony hurried to check their meal and slip the folded papers under Ziva's pillow. She'd find them tonight and pull them out, reading over the pages wearing that soft smile that made him want to kiss her senseless. And maybe he'd take advantage of another opportunity to demonstrate the love he professed. For that Tony could hardly wait.

**NCIS**

As predicted, a small smile stole over Ziva's face while she read the letter concealed beneath her pillow and Tony propped himself up on one elbow, content to watch. Once finished she set it reverently in her bedside table drawer with the rest of the collection and rolled to face him. "Thank you," she whispered, bringing their lips together.

Though he rarely passed up the opportunity to be intimate with his wife, they didn't always have to make love for him to feel an outpouring of her heart. Slow kisses, their focus narrowed solely to each other and hearts beating in rhythm, still filled his chest nearly to bursting with emotion. The caress ended and both lay on their sides, bright green eyes staring into rich brown ones. Tony brushed his mouth across her palm, wrapping his fingers around hers. "I love you."

"Gam ani," she returned, relaxing into almost sleep.

Falling asleep like that, linked only by their hands rather than the usual full body contact, was difficult and yet special because every time Tony woke in the night plagued by troubled dreams there she was, and that fact in itself enabled him to attempt rest one more time. Ziva was and always would be the anchor that kept him sane.

**NCIS**

Gibbs was in a grump when Celeste called, she could tell just by the tone of his voice. Navigating why became her priority but when he was still stonewalling after a few minutes of gentle digging, Celeste stripped off the kid gloves. "What's the matter with you Jethro?"

He rubbed harder with the sandpaper. "Don't know what you mean."

"Oh yes you do," she countered. "And unless you drop the attitude and explain why you're so grouchy, I'm hanging up."

For a moment Gibbs considered doing things the hard way, then he gave up and tossed the sanding block to the floor. "I miss you, alright? And I'm angry at myself for feeling like a young guy who can't spend more than a day away from the girl he likes." That was more than he'd planned on sharing and he paced, waiting for her response.

"You're not the only one," Celeste replied softly. "And I suppose I can handle being the girl you like."

Gibbs grunted. "You know what I mean."

She fingered Lexie's silky ears. "Do I Jethro? Because I feel like we've been talking in circles for months." He didn't say anything, so Celeste braved a few questions. "Why did you care so much if I was in danger? Why continue the calls? What do I really mean to you?" She knew it was a lot to dump on him but not knowing was tiring when she had to censor every thought.

For his part Gibbs was almost knocked over by the enormity of her inquiries. How dare she mess with the good thing they had right now?! His own conscience answered the next second. _Because for eighteen years you've been using her, keeping her on the back burner, a reliable fallback plan when things didn't work out with your flavour of the week._ She was always there, making it easy, and he'd almost gotten too comfortable to realize his mistake. No woman liked to be second place and he'd treated her that way too long. It was time to decide what he really wanted from their relationship - to hold on and make her a priority or let go and cut all the ties that anchored their hearts to one another.

Celeste expected that her demand for honesty would result in him freezing her out, but she'd already decided it was worth the risk. And having more patience now than she ever did as his bride the redhead waited him out, opening her journal to keep the silence company. The line remained quiet for a stubborn length of time before Gibbs sighed. "Don't really know what to say. Sometimes I think I never know what to say to you, after one disastrous year of marriage and a friendship nearly two decades old. No one knows me better than you Les."

"I like what I see," she said softly. "Are we ever going to be more than friends?"

Gibbs was glad he'd come up with an answer to that already. "Maybe," he replied, taking the coward's way out when a yes was more appropriate. "Maybe."

That was better than no. "Where do we start?"

He shrugged. "Talk more, I guess. Twice a week?"

She smiled. "I'd like that."

Tackling one hurdle was enough for tonight and they said goodbye shortly after. But while Celeste was able to sleep peacefully knowing that the question was at least out in the open now, Gibbs felt the same question hovering like a dark thing between them. Thinking about the possibility of something more with his ex-wife shouldn't've caused so much turmoil, but it was a big step when the last relationship he'd thought about giving a second chance to was with a red-haired woman who died instead of telling him the truth and letting him help tie up the mess from a years old mission.

As he tossed and turned on the lumpy old couch trying to get settled, his mind started going back to the good times during his and Celeste's marriage, few as they'd been. Gibbs remembered how quick her laughter was, how genuine her hugs were, the light in her eyes when he told her he loved her and tried his best to mean it. After so much time apart he didn't dare to hope things could ever be that way again. But an extra phone call a week and putting the effort into being more than just occasional friends - that he could handle. And maybe someday friends wouldn't be the only label that defined them.

**NCIS**

**Saturday October 30**

It was rare for the group dinner to fall on one of Tony and Ziva's on-call weekends, but this time it had and they hurried in the door almost half an hour late, apologizing as soon as Mark walked around the corner. He shook Tony's hand and hugged Ziva. "Don't worry about it guys, work happens."

"I hope you started without us," Ziva commented, letting Tony help her out of the coat.

"Over Cassie's dead body," Mark chuckled. "We don't start until every seat is filled."

Before Ziva had a chance to worry further about people starving while they waited, McKenna came running out for her hug. Scooping up the little girl, she kissed her cheek. "Hello motek. Are you all ready for Halloween?"

McKenna nodded when Ziva put her down. "Yup. I'm gonna be a fairy. Mommy helped lots with my costume. She-" Ziva pulled off her gloves and she stopped short, staring at her fingers.

Confused, Ziva's eyebrows drew together. "What is it?"

"You-you don't have your rings on." Tears filled her eyes as she backed up a step. "Does that mean you and Uncle Tony aren't married anymore?"

Immediately Ziva knelt before her, feeling Tony move closer. "No tatelah, no. Do not worry, please." She caught a tear that was starting to fall. "Ryan told you that at work we keep our marriage a secret, yes?" McKenna swallowed and nodded once, but she still looked uncertain. Her aunt pointed out the emerald and rose gold anniversary ring on her right hand. "This is the ring I wear to work. Uncle Tony got it for me on our first anniversary. It is so he knows that I belong to him even when no one else on our team does." Ziva hugged the little girl. "You do not have to look so sad McKenna, Uncle Tony and I will always be married."

Tony rubbed her back and tugged gently on one of McKenna's pigtails. "That's right Hugs. So see? Nothing to worry about."

McKenna threw her arms around Tony, attempted a smile, and ran back into the kitchen. Cassie, having been briefed by Mark, met her daughter by the table and whispered something in her ear before coming to greet the newest arrivals. A bit bewildered, Ziva nonetheless returned her friend's hug. "I was surprised at her reaction."

Cassie looked back towards the group. "She figured out a couple years ago that rings on a woman's left hand meant married. And I'm pretty sure she's never seen me without them. The only time I've had to take my rings off was near the end of both pregnancies, which she wasn't around for." She linked her arm with Ziva's. "Come on, let's eat while the food is hot."

As always, a meal with the entire gang was a unique experience. How the topic came up Ziva wasn't sure, but Mark started back at the beginning of their history, shortly after he and the guys had moved into The Pad for the summer after their first year of school. "Before Cassie and I started dating, all seven of us were just good friends. We spent four months hanging out together whenever we weren't working and by the time school started Cassie pretty much had the run of the place."

He swallowed a mouthful of food and continued. "The guys learned real quick not to walk around in towels or boxers, but for those who picked up on things a little slower," at this point he laughed and aimed a pointed glance at Adrian, "we put a system in place. Cassie would walk in and call hello, which usually sent everyone scrambling to get decent. If we knew someone wasn't up yet or was getting out of the shower or might not be paying attention, either Darien and I would head her off by asking her about the book she was reading or how work went or wanting to show her something in the kitchen until everyone assembled downstairs for their hugs, since Cassie insisted that was the proper way to greet friends." He chuckled. "It worked every time. I don't thinks she ever caught on."

At the other end of the table Cassie shook her head. "I didn't. It never even occurred to me that I could potentially walk in on something awkward in a house full of five guys." She shrugged. "I grew up without brothers or close guy friends, the frat boys were my first introduction." She swirled her fork through a pile of peas. "I remember my roommate, Mandy, worrying because she didn't think I should be spending so much time with so many guys, especially considering how I already felt about Mark. I tried to explain why I was safe with them - I knew that half of the guys were committed to their faith, that a couple were still searching for what they believed in and one didn't know if he believed in anything. But regardless, none of them ever gave me any reason not to trust that they'd respect me."

"Although," Cassie glanced at her husband briefly, "that conversation did make me think and I started paying really close attention to how I dressed around the guys. Before Mandy said something I would wear shorter shorts or form fitting tank tops without considering how it might affect the guys. They all knew Mark had dibs, but that wouldn't stop them from noticing what I was wearing. So I got pretty conservative about my attire as a form of respect and took it upon myself to act like their sister - including making sure they became passable cooks, freely handing out dating tips, and holding mandatory dance classes in the livingroom." Fondness for the memories showed in her expression. "It was a really good few years. Sometimes I miss those days."

Jordan and Adrian, who were closest, put their arms around her. "She's the reason we managed to be husband material. Without Cass, well," Adrian looked towards his wife, "we might not've made the cut."

Jordan kicked him under the table. "Speak for yourself."

Emma and Allie rolled their eyes and Ziva smiled. "We are grateful you taught them how to treat girls." She leaned into Tony. "You did a wonderful job."

Tony kissed her head and the topic turned to the kids' Halloween party planned for the following afternoon, which meant basketball would be suspended to make time for the festivities. Besides Ryan, who was a given because he was family, Wes and Breanna had also been invited. The five of them had become a very close group since their weeks at camp and Mark and Cassie encouraged any time they could spend together.

"Just a reminder that all aunts and uncles are required to dress up for this shindig," Mark announced as plates were getting cleared. "You all promised last year and my children have impeccable memories." Laughter floated around the table and they started debating the merits of different costumes while cleaning up from the meal.

Later, on the pretense of helping Cassie make coffee and tea for everyone after the children were in bed, Ziva joined her in the kitchen and began counting out mugs, gathering her courage to ask a question. "Cassie?" The woman finished counting scoops of coffee grounds and waited expectantly. "What you said about your roommate brought to mind a time several months ago," she kept her voice quiet, "when Tony was having a very bad day and Mark helped him through it."

Cassie thought back to learning from Mark how hard Tony took hearing the details of what Ziva went through during her summer in captivity. "I remember."

Ziva ran her fingers over the ridged skin of her wrists, the nervous habit something she never would've been allowed in her father's house. "When I got home Mark was still there and Tony was sleeping. I did not think about it then, but I wonder now - does it bother you if Mark is ever alone with any of us, the wives? I would never want to make you uncomfortable."

Her friend smiled. "I appreciate the consideration Ziva, really, but I'm not worried for several different reasons. First - I trust my husband implicitly. Second - because of the way the group has grown, first with Allie as part of our circle for so many years and now with you and Emma and CJ, Mark and I talked about this a long time ago, knowing there would often be other women around the house and I might not always be in the room. If you were to drop by and I wasn't home, Mark wouldn't let you in the house. It's just his way of respecting me. If I was home alone and one of the guys came over needing something, I would spend time with them outside on the porch or suggest going to get coffee somewhere after texting Mark to let him know. That's our system. So no, it doesn't bother me, but thank you for asking."

She cut her eyes towards Tony, who was chatting with Darien on the couch. Ziva saw the question coming and cut it off. "It is not a concern for me either. I know the relationship you have with my husband and I am so glad he has a sister in his life who cares about him the way you do."

Cassie poured boiling water over individual tea bags, since the girls couldn't agree on one flavour to like. "I never know how much I needed brothers until I became part of this group." She winked. "One of these days I'll have to tell you all the blackmail stories I have stored up on them."

Ziva laughed. "I look forward to that. You never know when it might come in handy." This was what she loved about family.

**NCIS**

**Monday November 1**

Ryan ran into his parent's room in the middle of the night, flinging open the door without knocking so that it smacked back against the wall, and raced to CJ's side of the bed. "Mom! It was the dark dream again!"

Both Brent and CJ jerked awake at the crash and she caught her terrified son in her arms, holding him tight. "Shh baby, shh. It's over now. You're alright." Repeating the words over and over, CJ closed her eyes and wished that this particular recurring nightmare would just go away. For years Ryan had been scared from sleep by the dream in which he was pursued and swallowed up by a great black cloud which sucked away everything that mattered to him. Sometimes it came often, other times only on occasion, but with each instance she wanted nothing more than him to be free of the fear.

While his wife comforted their distraught son, Brent was thinking through the logistical issue they now faced. Having made love earlier that night and fallen asleep not bothering with pyjamas, they were both naked under the covers, something Ryan didn't need to be made aware of. Leaning over, he fished on the floor for his boxers, pj pants, and the t-shirt he normally wore to bed and dressed under the blankets as surreptitiously as possible. One thing he'd decided even before they were married was that he always wanted to be covered in front of his son out of respect.

Noticing how CJ kept the covers tucked around her chest as she held Ryan close, smoothing his hair, kissing his head and murmuring comfort into his ear, he retrieved her things from where they'd landed on his side of the bed and slid them under the covers for her. When Ryan finally caught his breath, the sobs and hiccups lessening, CJ turned him towards Brent. "Dads are the best for hugs when you're scared monkey, give it a try."

The little boy threw his arms around Brent, who'd moved to the other side of the bed and stood waiting to be needed when Ryan was only interested in Mom right now. He picked up his son and held him tightly, thoughts mostly on comfort and only a little bit on hoping CJ managed to get clothes on before Ryan noticed. When she finally got up and tied a cotton robe over her pjs, Brent embraced her with his other arm and together they poured out love on the little boy who needed them.

It was a long time before Ryan was ready to be put down and Brent knelt in front of him, wiping away any traces of tears. "Want to sleep in our bed tonight buddy?"

He wavered between the choices for a moment before shaking his head. "I can be in my own bed." Surrounded by Mr. Boo, Bamboo his panda, a soft basketball pillow, plus his favourite blanket from when he was little made him feel safe.

"Okay."

They walked him back to his room and CJ lay on the little twin bed, stroking his hair while he fell back to sleep. When his breathing evened out she kissed his forehead and joined her husband in the doorway where they watched Ryan for a few minutes before returning to their room. Shutting the door, he frowned. "We forgot to lock it."

CJ thought back, remembering with a slight blush the passion that must've overwhelmed their caution once Ryan was in bed. There had hardly been time for it to be awkward about them being naked when he ran in, but she could guess what her husband was thinking. "We can't punish him for being scared and needing us Brent."

He sighed, taking her hand. "I know. But it could've been bad if he wanted to crawl in between us instead of heading straight for you." One day he hoped to be the one his son ran to first, figuring that would be a pretty big sign of trust considering how close he and CJ were.

"I guess we'll have to be more careful." She trailed gentle fingers along his neck, her voice lowering. "I like falling asleep in only our skin, but that privilege might need to be reserved for when Ryan's at a sleepover from now on."

Brent's lips claimed hers. "That doesn't happen nearly often enough."

CJ smirked and slipped her hand under his t-shirt, caressing the warm skin. "Maybe we need to start having a date night like Mark and Cassie, a time when we can count on that freedom with each other."

"I like the way you think," he murmured, kissing across her collarbone. "I miss that time with you."

She worked her fingers into his hair, immensely enjoying the attention. "I'll talk to my parents and see what we can work out."

Brent's mouth covered hers gently. "Something to look forward to." He reluctantly pulled away, glancing at the clock. "Back to bed for us Mrs. MacKay, you have an early class tomorrow."

CJ glanced towards the door. "I hope he sleeps through the night."

"Does it usually happen twice in the same night?"

"No," she answered, still worrying. "But he hasn't had one in months, this week could get rough."

"We'll be here to help him through it honey," he reassured her, knowing that wouldn't really make her feel better. Moms didn't do well when their children were hurting.

**NCIS**

**Monday November 8**

Ziva lay on top of Tony after a very satisfying love making session, waiting for both to catch their breath. Finally Tony sighed. "I feel like a jerk."

She ran her hand up his side and lifted her face to kiss his jaw, returning to her previous position and listening to his heart beat. "I do not think you feel like a jerk."

Tony scrunched his nose at her even though she couldn't see, caressing her back down to her hips where the sheet had carelessly fallen then up again. "Aren't you going to ask me why?"

Ziva's lips traveled slowly across his chest and she rolled off him gracefully, taking most of the sheet with her. Getting comfortable propped up against the headboard and modestly covered so he wouldn't be as distracted, she turned towards him, offering her hand. "Why?"

He slid his fingers between hers, savouring the contact in light of his thoughts. "I was remembering when we were undercover," Ziva smirked and he ignored her, "and how shallow I was about to get to see you naked after months of wondering."

"Not only see," she murmured.

Tony conceded the point. "And touch you without fear of having my arms ripped off."

"But if you recall, it was my suggestion to go method." She eyed him coyly. "I suppose I was curious too."

"Almost method." He chuckled. "Although I am quite sure I would've lost a favourite part of my anatomy if I'd seriously tried to come onto you."

"I expected you would try something," she confided, tracing his wedding band. "But aside from the...biological response, you were surprisingly self-controlled."

Tony snorted. "You didn't actually expect me not to react to you in bed and naked, did you?"

Ziva combed her fingers through his hair, eyes twinkling with amusement. "I guess not." She was quiet for a moment. "I was a little nervous before you kissed me."

"You looked anything but. I almost couldn't see through the act. And that dress Zi," he closed his eyes and groaned. "Wow." Then he frowned and opened one eye. "You kissed me. I was anticipating a little hesitation but that was full on intent."

She shrugged. "I could not let you see between the lines. Undercover must always look real in case enemies are watching." Ziva caught her bottom lip in her teeth. "I should not have used your real name."

Tony kissed two of her fingertips. "Slips happen honey."

"Not to me," she bristled, allowing the frustration at her mistake fester for a moment before relaxing. "I learned something about you that first night."

His eyebrows rose. "Yeah? What?"

Ziva's smile was fond. "When you held my hair back your hands were gentle, that surprised me. And," she hesitated but his open expression encouraged her to continue, "I liked kissing you."

He twirled a curl around his finger and grinned. "Really?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Don't get a large head."

Tony let the subject rest briefly before picking it up again. "I was impressed with your focus on the mission - never distracted and boy that poker face! But your laugh came easily, it was comfortable to be with you when we were just hanging out in the room, and I wished-"

The sentence cut off and Ziva tilted her head. "What?"

He blew out a breath. "I wished you were really dressing up for me at dinner. I loved that outfit and your hair...you looked so beautiful."

She traced his ear, grinning when he squirmed. "That's my secret." She kissed the corner of his mouth. "I did do it for you."

Tony's hand cupped the back of her neck and drew her down, capturing her lips with his. It was a nice distraction, part of her weight resting on him again as she braced one hand on his torso to accommodate the position. "I love you, you know that right?" he told her in a low voice.

Ziva sat up again, her brow creasing. "I have known that without a doubt for four and a half years. Where is all this coming from?"

He shrugged. "Today is the five year anniversary of that case and I've been wondering how different things would've been, how many more months we could've had if I'd grown up just a little bit sooner." Tony dragged a hand over his face. "So much waste," he muttered.

Disbelief claimed Ziva's expression and she turned his face towards her. "Tony, sei l'amore della mia vita. _You are the love of my life_. I would not change one moment of our relationship, not even for a few more months." Her thumb rubbed over his cheekbone. "We needed that time to be friends, to understand each other, to grow closer and deeper in trust and care. Yakiri," she whispered, "our love story is perfect."

He pressed a fervent kiss to her palm. "Okay. Best news I've heard all day."

Ziva rolled her eyes and shimmied down into a comfortable position on her side, content. She caught a yawn and closed her eyes. Today had been a happy day.

_Replies:_

_Guest (who reviewed in Hebrew) - Wow, that was so cool. I do not often get reviews in another language. Thank goodness for GoogleTranslate, lol. My first question is, do you have an account on FF? If so, I'd love to chat with you. Since you appear to be a native Hebrew speaker, I would be interested to use you as a reference to make sure I'm not completely butchering your language in my story (though I'm sure I've made a lot of mistakes so far, for that I apologize). And secondly, thank you for reviewing :) It's always great to hear that people are enjoying my story. I'm glad you liked it. ~Aliyah_

_Uconn Fan - Hello! It's always nice to see you drop by once in awhile. I hope you are doing well. Since I know you don't read until the end (good thing too with how long this part is taking me to get out), I apologize for how long it's taking. I foresee us well into the summer before this part is marked complete, maybe longer. You know how good I am at guessing when it comes to story stuff :P I appreciate your confidence. When you do read I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for stopping in! :) ~Aliyah_

_Lazy Reader - I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the story. I always take it as a high compliment when people re-read, so thank you. Lol...I'm easy to please. I'm happy to hear what part you liked and any comments you have to make. But I'll also take reviews whenever and however :) I do love reviews with details. Wow, really? Your favourite series? That makes me feel very special. It's good to know there are others still hanging in there for an eventual pay off. Thank you, that's nice of you to say. I have no plans not to continue writing, sometimes it's just nice to know that people still care even when I've been absent so long (apologies again for how delayed this story has become). Thank you for taking the time to review, I very much appreciate it :) ~Aliyah_

_j09tiva - that's nice to hear, thank you :) I know, right? Even with 8 years we just never got enough of Michael and Cote's interactions as they played these characters. Lol...no, I didn't miss that reference, I left it out. Just not my thing to add stuff like that to the conversation. Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_J - If you're who I think you are ;) you have been missed. How are you doing? PM me so we can catch up please! I'm glad you're still in this for the long haul, we're looking at a lot of months before this story is fully told. I suddenly realized how long it had been since they spent time with their horses, so I'm glad you enjoyed that part. Hopefully we can talk soon. Love ~Aliyah_

_Guest - Thank you, I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the series. If only, right? I guess that's why God gave us imaginations, because we have certainly lost the chance to see anything similar on screen. It does me good to know that people still get excited when I update, however long that takes. I'm planning on EJ being little more than a passing annoyance, I had quite enough of her on the show. Thank you for reviewing, I appreciate it :) ~Aliyah_

_Mary - Hi. Thanks, I enjoy hearing that people love the series. Nice to know so many people have been around since it started. I'm glad you think so, thanks. Haha...yeah, I'd actually forgotten all about that show until I typed the words in. My little sister and I used to borrow the videos from our church library. Glad some people still remember the good old stuff :) Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	10. 8x4 Royals and Loyals

_A/N: Hello all you wonderful people! I apologize for the lack of chapter last week, my time filled up pretty quickly and I just wasn't able to work on it as much as I wanted to. I hope you all enjoy this one, I look forward to hearing what you think :) Have a great week! ~Aliyah_

**Monday November 9**

Tony and Ziva lay in bed one night, resting in the peaceful state between awake and asleep. Brushing his lips over her bare shoulder, he opened a conversation. "Tell me something I don't know."

She smiled. "Four years ahava, is there anything you don't know?"

He shrugged. "That's what I'm trying to find out." Both were quiet for a few moments, then, "I don't know very much about your time in Mossad."

A deep sigh pushed its way out of Ziva's lungs and as relaxed as she'd been before he opened his mouth, she was tight and tense now, almost rigid against him. "I wish you would not ask me about Mossad Tony."

He drew his arm closer around her waist. "Why not?"

"Because it is not worth telling!" she insisted, moving out of his reach and glaring into his eyes. "I was an assassin, a sniper. Death was my life, my purpose, my reason for being. I gave my body to many truly awful men only to turn around and kill them in their most vulnerable moment. I have been beaten, starved, captured, tortured, left to die. I hold none of those years in high regard, nor do I carry any pride for my actions while under the power of that organization. Why do you have to ask?"

Tony propped himself up on one elbow. "You were Mossad four years before Tali died, that makes you underage at the beginning of your service. Two years in the IDF and three doing missions all over Europe before you came here to us. Maybe you'd like to get some of it off your chest."

Her fierce, stubborn expression did not give him any hope. "I'd like to bury it all in a deep dark hole somewhere so my past has no chance of tainting you or hurting us." The frustration stuttered for a moment and her hand found a place over his heart. "Do you not know enough now that you've seen how I was when I first came and the amount I have changed after almost half a decade in this country and in your arms?"

He could see the pain it was causing her and for once decided that, for the sake of their marriage and her sanity, she could keep whatever secrets she wanted about her life before him. "I know you," Tony said quietly. "I know your heart. I didn't mean to hurt you with that question. Please honey, come back."

Ziva scrutinized him for almost a whole minute before letting out a breath and with it all the tension that had gathered. She returned to her place in front of him and laced their fingers together on the mattress. "Thank you," she whispered, closing her eyes. It told her a great deal when he loved her enough to let something go. This was one part of her life she did not want to share. Tony was too innocent for her darkness, but perhaps his light and the love in his heart would be enough to save her from that past.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday November 10**

Tony timed his attempted break in of Ziva's email account to coincide with the elevator's ding announcing the arrival of his teammates on their floor. It took considerable effort to not try and guess the correct password, knowing the well-hidden sentimental streak his ninja possessed. In all likelihood their anniversary, the date of their first kiss or first 'I love you' would be contenders, but being that she was also former Mossad, it could be something he'd never figure out in a million years even if he had McGeek skills. Regardless, the act played off as planned the moment she walked into the bullpen and caught him.

He jumped up, looking as guilty as a fox in a henhouse, barely taking time to admire her hair and outfit choices for this morning. Her gaze narrowed and she elbowed him out of her space. "What are you doing?"

"Well I...uh...you see I was just..."

Ziva ignored his stumbling and sat down at her desk while McGee stood to the side and grinned at his discomfort. "I think you were snooping Tony."

Tony suppressed the urge to cuff him on the back of the head. "Maybe you should butt out McThird Wheel."

"What were you looking for Tony?" she asked, pulling up a program that tracked computer usage. Then her mouth fell open and she gasped. "You were trying to access my email!"

He chuckled nervously and backed up a step. "How-how do you know that?"

Ziva smirked. "Because McGee installed a security system on my desktop." She looked at their resident computer expert. "Very high-tech by the way."

McGee grinned gleefully. "You got caught red-handed DiNozzo."

Tony's gaze shifted between them. "What?"

She played a video of him stabbing fruitlessly at the keyboard and looking increasingly stressed as he was consistently frozen out by the system. "There!" Ziva pointed triumphantly. "Guilty as charged! So," she eyed him curiously, "what were you hoping to find?"

He cleared his throat. "Nothing." One eyebrow arched and he sighed. "I was just looking out for your welfare. You know, flirting with that Miami contact at every turn. I just...wanted to make sure you're not in over your head."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "He's just a friend." She leaned her chin on her hand. "I think you are jealous."

Tony snorted. "No!" he retorted like a five year old. "But I am...concerned about our national security."

"My friend in Miami and I are from the same nation Tony. Our secrets are safe with him."

"You never can be too careful," he warned.

Their boss interrupted the mildly high school interaction with a new case and Ziva stood abruptly. "I will ride with Gibbs."

Though it kept their cover, Tony was not impressed about being separated from his partner. Blaming the junior member of their team, he reached out to headslap McGee as the latter walked by. But seven years on the same team had taught him well and McGee ducked to avoid the punishment. Tony, however, was not so lucky and Gibbs laid a good one on him before heading for the elevator. "Stay out of her business DiNozzo," he warned and Tony wondered once more how it was the man knew so much about things he wasn't even in the room for.

**NCIS**

Later, while they were silently doctoring their hot drinks in the breakroom, Tony leaned his hip against the counter. "Are you actually angry with me?"

She wrinkled her nose and didn't look up. "Annoyed maybe."

He sighed. "I'm supposed to be acting jealous, remember?"

Ziva turned to face him. "How much are you really acting Tony? Because the jealousy I see is very real. I wish you could just trust me on this. Rob is nothing to me but a friend and his emails make me smile."

Tony slid closer and rubbed his finger over hers. "That's supposed to be my job."

She tilted her head. "Do you really consider him a threat? After all we've been through together?"

"I've got four years of being possessive to catch up on. This is the first time I've been able to show it. Cut me a little slack, will you?"

Ziva didn't answer and soon after they were ordered to interview the widow of the dead sailor fished out of a hot tub that morning, despite their protests about being sent out together. Talking to someone who'd lost a loved one was never easy and even if they weren't one hundred percent in agreement at the moment, they still joined hands once in the car and held onto each other a little tighter, both desperate to never again be in the position of dealing with losing a spouse.

Wednesday night found them back in the office with no hope of going home anytime soon. Ziva was going through the filing cabinet by Tony's desk while he searched the sailor's records and past for an indication of why someone would want to kill him. Finally she slammed the drawer shut. "Apologize," she demanded, and his eyebrows rose as he spun to face her.

"What for?"

"Not believing me." Her face was deadly serious. "You say you do, but your actions prove otherwise."

Knowing this was about more than just his act for the team's benefit, Tony rose and came to stand in front of her, glancing to either side before taking her hands. "I'm sorry," he said in a low voice.

Ziva removed one hand from his grasp to rest on his chest, the darkness of the empty office making the moment feel intimate, safe. "Tell me you trust me," she whispered. "And make me believe it Tony, please."

"Ziva." He cupped the back of her neck, running his fingers over the skin and wishing her hair was down. "I trust you sweetheart, I do. It's not like I think anything happened in Miami."

"Then why the animosity towards Rob?"

Tony gave a half-laugh. "I guess I just prefer you have girlfriends."

She stared. "Are you also threatened by McGee, Duke, Travis, your fraternity brothers?"

"McGee's family, or will be someday. Duke has special privileges. Travis is someone we both know. And my frat brothers are all happily married, involved, or single by choice. But I've never met Rob and it makes me a little-"

"Suspicious?" Ziva offered. "Resentful? Insecure?"

He aimed a mild glare at her. "More like fiercely protective of my rights as your husband."

Her expression softened and a small smile touched her lips. "Why did you not say so before? I kind of like the sound of that."

It did sound a whole lot better than jealous, even if he'd stolen part of that line right from the dictionary definition. And if he didn't have just a shred of self-preservation left Tony would've kissed her in the middle of the squadroom and not regretted a moment. There were times this secret of theirs was woefully inconvenient, but if Ziva kept looking at him like that it was still worth all their precautions.

**NCIS**

**Thursday November 11**

An honest talk the night before did nothing to curb the flare of green eyed monster that hit Tony as soon as Major Peter Malloy of the British Royal Marines set his eyes on Ziva. She stood to offer her hand. "Probationary Agent Ziva David."

The other man's charming smile made Tony want to punch him in the face. "Hmm, let me see. Israeli. Tel Aviv. And do I detect a trace of the Haifa Coast?"

That Ziva seemed impressed did nothing for her partner's rapidly deteriorating mood. "Very good." She inclined her head towards him. "North London?"

"Ah, good ear. Yes, precisely." Peter turned to find Tony standing right behind him. "Pleasure's all mine mate."

"Anthony DiNozzo," Tony practically spat, not even an ounce of pleasantry present in his tone. Ziva's sharp look warned him but the next moment she understood a bit of his attitude when the Major made a point to state that he had previously been married but was not currently taken. And while it was nice to catch the interest of a handsome man, she had her hands full with the one she already belonged to. Another, even with a delightful accent, was not needed nor desired.

Peter did earn a bit of her respect back, however, when he crossed the bullpen to seek an introduction with McGee. "And who might you be sir?"

Tim reached out his hand. "Uh, Special Agent Timothy McGee."

Peter made a joke about him being an Irishman and then Gibbs had enough of meet and greets and told the Major to beat it. But Leon countermanded him a second later. "Not so fast." He walked over to stand in front of Peter. "SecNav has granted NCIS permission to board the SparrowHawk."

The man seemed taken aback. "Yes, well I shall need to get clearance from Fleet Command in London. You understand. It's a formality."

Gibbs was impatient. "As long as it doesn't take time."

Vance summoned Ziva. "Agent David, have you ever been to Zurich?"

She looked between them. "Several times."

"Good." Leon pointed to Major Malloy and Gibbs. "Today you're Switzerland between England and the US."

A perfectly stubborn staring contest between the two men was interrupted by a phone call from Abby wanting to see Gibbs in her lab. The evidence she revealed led him to a conversation with the CIA lady in Norfolk. She, of course, would give no straight answers to any of his questions and lied her way through the ones she did answer. Then Tony called to say their tightly wound British officer was trying to get permission to leave, which was not an option when he was potentially sailing off with their crime scene. That's how Tony and Ziva found themselves waiting in the lobby of NATO headquarters for Peter to show himself.

Tony leaned against the reception desk with the tip of a sunglass arm in his mouth, studying Ziva. His grin was disconcerting and she tilted her head. "What?"

"Did I ever tell you I love your hair like that? I mean all down is preferable, because you seriously have the most gorgeous brown locks I've ever come across, but half and half works too, in case I get the urge to run my fingers through it at an unguarded moment."

He took a step closer and Ziva stopped him. "Be careful who you have those urges around. People might get the wrong idea."

"The wrong idea Ms. David? Whatever do you mean?" Tony feigned innocence and leaned towards her. "Something like the way Prince Albert practically fell all over himself trying to make your acquaintance?" He shook his head. "I know what makes you so irresistible, or at least, I'm going to spend the rest of my life figuring it out. But lately...Miami Man and the best of His Majesty's Royal Navy? You're starting to get a harem Ziva."

One eyebrow arched. "I thought those were only for women." Behind him Peter made an appearance on the stairs and Ziva smiled. "Then again, he is charming."

"I'm charming," Tony blustered. "He's got a few things to learn." The look on his partner's face bothered him and he snorted. "What is it with chicks and Brits, huh? Jagger, Bono, Beatles, Bond - they get all the ladies without even trying."

She rolled her eyes. "I am not into bondage, I can assure you." To the Major she offered a welcoming expression. "Hello."

He stood at attention. "How are you?" Then without waiting for a response, "Oh, bad news I'm afraid. British Fleet Command and CENTCOM have just requested that we leave immediately. Tell your Agent Gibbs I am sorry."

Only someone with that kind of accent could manage to sound so sincerely insincere, Tony decided, exchanging a weighted glance with his partner as Peter began walking away. He was not going to like this next part. Ziva hurried after him and got in his path, forcing him to stop. "Well, it takes a big ship several minutes to get underway." Her relaxed stance, arms linked behind her back, and a bright smile definitely caught his attention. "Couldn't we just do a...quickie?"

Unable to help himself, Tony crossed his arms as he was forced to watch his wife intentionally flirt with and send off all the right signals to Peter. The fact that his lip reading skills were developed enough to discern what she'd actually said did not help matters. If she was doing a quickie with anyone it certainly wasn't going to be that stuck up, high society snob. Ziva winked at her husband when she broke through Malloy's ice king routine and fell back to join him so she could slip her hand into his and squeezed briefly. No, she hadn't enjoyed propositioning him. But some things no man would turn down and they needed that evidence. This, however, was called doing things the hard way.

**NCIS**

As their ship-searching began, Tony followed Ziva down a narrow flight of stairs with flashlight in hand. "This is probably a really bad time to get into this, but I can't help wondering something."

Ziva's hair, now pulled up and captive in her do-not-taint-the-crime-scene bun, bobbed in front of him as she read the map Abby had sent. "If this is about what I said to Major Malloy I do not want to hear it." They'd done the jealously thing to death and she was finished discussing the subject.

He stepped behind her into a dark room with several inches of water trapped in the framing of the floor. "No, actually, it isn't."

She turned to face him. "Alright. Go ahead."

Tony cleared his throat and realized there was no way to keep from sounding crass. "You mentioned bondage earlier, how you're not into that. Which I get, because...well...obviously," he finished lamely. Somalia was not going to cross his lips when the last shadows of it were finally beginning to dissipate from the corners of their bedroom a year and a month after the fact. "But...were you ever...before?" He kind of doubted the answer would be yes considering that, at least in the beginning, Ziva liked to be the aggressor, the one in control. But that didn't stop his curiosity from running rampant.

Ziva's elevator eyes ran up and down the length of his body and a sly smile crawled across her lips. "Do you want to tie me up Tony?"

He swallowed. "Uh...no. Definitely not. That's not...where I was going with-"

Her eyebrows rose higher. "You want me to tie you up?"

Tony's mouth fell open and he was speechless for the length of time it took his brain to catch up to his ears. Then he slapped on the trademark grin and grazed his fingertips over her hip. "You can tie me up anytime sweetheart."

Ziva's voice lowered, this was a very private conversation in a not so private location. "Are you sure you trust me?"

The predatory look on her face caused his throat to tighten, but he straightened up and managed a stiff nod. She actually giggled, like she was some schoolgirl flirting with her boyfriend, and tossed her head. The action didn't have nearly the same effect as when her hair was down and could swish around and hit him in the chest, but he got the idea. "We shall see," she said noncommitally, pointing towards the valve that matched the wound on their dead guy's head. Anything else would have to wait until later.

**NCIS**

**Friday November 12**

At the end of Friday's workday the case was solved, the bad guy - or rather, bad girl - was in custody, and justice had been served once again. Tony was getting ready to leave, but slowly because Ziva was still finishing up her weekly email to Rob and he didn't want to get out ahead of her. He glanced over his shoulder when she chuckled. "Emailing Senor South Beach?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "Perhaps."

Tony came around his desk. "Well, I like that there's someone out there who makes you smile."

Ziva seemed to appreciate the answer. "Thank you. That's very gracious of you Tony."

He wrinkled his nose. _Don't push it._ With his coat over one arm, he paused at the edge of the bullpen. "Maybe I can meet him someday."

She avoided looking directly at him. "Maybe. One day." One last click had the email sent and she grabbed her bag. He'd hold the jacket for her in the elevator, like always. There were some husband things he wasn't willing to give up even at work.

Tony leaned against the partition. "Got a big date tonight?"

Ziva seemed surprised that he asked. "Um...no," she replied, a hint of disappointment in her tone. It suddenly seemed like a long time since they'd been out on a date and today was supposed to be a special occasion. "I'm going home." He held out his arm for her to go first and she paused. "Tony, I have a question."

Interest lit his gaze. "Shoot." Then he winced. "Or better yet, be gentle."

She ignored the sarcasm. "If and when you meet my friend, and I emphasis 'if'," one finger strayed to her lips, totally distracting her husband in the process, "what will you say?"

"Be careful," he intoned seriously, chuckling when her eyebrows lifted. "Uh...handle with care." For the last one he offered his best smile. "Contents priceless."

Ziva stared at him so fondly for a brief moment, then it was gone. "Goodnight." But as she moved past him towards the elevator, she kissed his cheek quickly and the smile became more of a permanent fixture.

"Good night Ziva." He patted his pockets and shook his head. "Gotta get my keys." Tony waited until she got to the elevator, then slid into her chair and double clicked on the email icon. But before he could even attempt a break in, sirens started going off and he pushed away, jumping to his feet. "Ahh!" He could hear Ziva's laughter from several feet away and covered his ears as he ran towards the silver doors where his wife was holding the car for him. "Geez, what kind of alarm did I trip?"

She was almost doubled over with laughter and it was several seconds before she could catch her breath. "I made it so the next person who opened my email would get...what is your word - busted? I knew it would be you Tony. Admit it, you could not resist."

Tony cornered her in the elevator and tickled her until the music of her laughter pealed out around them, then he slid his arms around her waist from behind and leaned against the wall. "Mrs. DiNozzo," he breathed into her mercifully loose and epically beautiful wavy hair, "can I interest you in a date tonight?"

Ziva leaned her head on his shoulder. "I don't know. It's awfully short notice."

"I've got a favour I can call in," Tony rushed ahead, hoping to convince her. "Get us a table at one of those fancy restaurants downtown. You wouldn't even have to change." He drew his lips over her neck. "I can't imagine anything that would make you more beautiful than you are right now."

"Mmm." She reached her hand up to smooth over his cheek. "That is the right thing to say. Okay, I accept." Her heart ached a bit at the day not being recognized and because he hadn't said a word about it since they woke up, but a date with her husband was better than nothing. At least Aunt Nettie had called this morning to wish her a wonderful day with those she loved, that helped.

He hugged her close and brushed his lips over the pulse point under her jaw. "You won't be sorry."

Ziva finally turned in his arms. "How could I be? Tony, you were the first person who taught me to smile because I was genuinely happy, instead of as a way to disarm marks. I could never regret anything with you."

Tony sighed and rested his forehead on hers. "Ziva David, have I ever told you how much I love you?"

Her lips hovered only a breath from his. "You can always tell me again."

That snapped the last of his self-control and he maneuvered them to the other side, flipped the switch, and dove his hands into her hair as his mouth melted onto hers. It was a long, long time before the elevator was back in service, but a nicer ending to the day no one could've foreseen. Sometimes the simplest things were the most profound and love exchanged through gentle, lingering kisses were some of their favourites.

He held her coat so she could slip into it when they finally stopped to breathe, and they eventually made their way out to the car. After seeing her seated inside, Tony leaned over the door and let something fall to dangle from his fingers. "Happy Birthday Zi."

"Ohh." Her lips parted and the genuine confusion and surprise on her face made him frown.

"Did you actually think that after four years I would forget your birthday?"

She had the decency to look a little ashamed. "I though maybe...with the case..." One shoulder lifted and dropped and he reached for her hand, brushing his lips across her knuckles.

"Nothing is more important than you."

Ziva's soft hands framed his face and her mouth met his for a long, sweet moment. "Thank you."

Tony flicked his hand, making the necklace dance a little. "You didn't even look at it."

Smile growing, she gently cradled the thin silver chain and examined the pendant. He was pretty proud of himself for that one - an elegantly shaped Z with diamonds down the diagonal line. "It's beautiful ahava."

"You deserve something special." He tapped her Star of David, eyeing her hopefully. "Can I put this on for you?"

Hesitating only briefly, Ziva unclasped the necklace she'd worn since he replaced it almost a year ago and shifted on the seat so her back was to him. Sliding the new chain under her hair, he secured it by feel and turned her back around to see the effect. The platinum stood out in striking contrast to her skin tone and he nodded with satisfaction. "Gorgeous. I knew that would look great on you."

Watching her fiddle with the other piece of jewellery, he extricated it carefully from her grasp and slipped it into a pocket. "For safekeeping," Tony explained when she seemed uncertain. Ziva leaned forward to kiss him again and he relished the contact only briefly. "Stop distracting me minx or we'll never make it to the celebration." She murmured something meant only for his ears and he cleared his throat, backing up a couple steps. "I won't make it difficult for you to talk me into that when we get home, but let me spoil you first, okay?"

Ziva relented and sat back, glancing down and touching her new pendant, the softness in her expression his reward. Tony claimed her hand as soon as he put the car in gear and met her eyes. "Just so you know, I called last week to book the reservation. I've been planning your birthday since September."

"I will never doubt you again," she promised, flexing her fingers and missing the subtle weight of wedding rings that remained hidden away in their room.

He gave her a half-grin. "I'll hold you to that."

When they walked in the door of Valentino's to be greeted by a maitre d' who knew her husband by name, Ziva was struck with a very strong sense of deja vu. "Do you remember the first time we came here?"

Tony chuckled. "You brought me as a consolation prize." He shook his head at himself, lamenting the shallowness of his hope back then. "And I thought of little else except how I could get you into bed with me by the end of the night. Even if you didn't let me bring that lingerie."

She smiled as the tall man led them to a quiet table near the terrace doors. "Yes, that is a shame." He quirked an eyebrow at her and her expression was anything but innocent. "I look good in purple."

Briefly reconsidering the offer she'd made in the car because of the effect of a few simple words, Tony wrestled with desire over planning and decided he wasn't done showing his appreciation yet. "Remind me later," he said quietly, knowing he'd have a hard time focusing with that picture forefront in his mind.

Conversation ceased in favour of perusing the thin yet varied menu. Once orders had been taken and they both had fancy drinks to sip, Tony pulled an envelope from his jacket pocket and slid it across the table. "I know we're a couple weeks early for Tali's birthday, but I was hoping you might like to share your tradition with me this year."

Ziva's eyes widened and she snuck a peek at the tickets inside, dated for the following evening. "Puccini? Tony, you hate the opera."

He shrugged as if that didn't matter. "I love that you go for her, to imagine it's your sister's voice flowing from the stage. I want to watch your face while you experience those memories honey. I really wish I'd been able to meet her."

She struggled against the tears but he still had to catch a couple that leaked down her cheeks. "Ahava," she whispered, "ani asirat todah kol-kach bishvilkhá." _I am so grateful for you._

Tony got that cute little embarrassed grin that she loved and kissed the inside of her wrist, foregoing any more words so as not to ruin the moment. Their dinners arrived and the food was excellent, but the promise of more kept them from fully enjoying the meal when their minds were already elsewhere and far sooner than he expected, Tony was asking for the bill. The server returned several moments later, depositing a silver tray on the table. "Good evening sir, madam." He left without further comment and Tony frowned, turning over the slip of paper. In quick, sure strokes on the back was written a message: _It was a pleasure to have you here tonight. Dinner is on me, with my thanks. You have been lucky in love my friend, cherish her - Valentino_. Feeling a bit as if his place had been usurped, Tony couldn't help but smile at the words and he lifted a hand to the owner, who stood off to the side surveying his little piece of the American dream.

Ziva's eyebrows rose as she looked between them. "What was that all about?"

"Just a gift from an old friend," he answered vaguely, pulling out her chair. "Though he did kind of steal my thunder. I'm supposed to be treating you tonight."

Leaning into him, she gave her husband a smile that could not be mistaken for anything other than an invitation. "I have some ideas about that."

The hand resting lightly on her lower back to guide her out of the room drifted well south of her waist for a brief moment, only acknowledging what she wanted but not yet giving them permission to act on it. Since it was her birthday and she wished to claim the prize of their union, Ziva kissed him so thoroughly outside the front door that Tony dropped his keys twice before he was able to let them in. Right away she divested him of his suit jacket, laughing softly when their haste to remove shoes included stumbling around like they'd had more than just a taste of alcohol tonight.

She got them as far as the bedroom doorway before Tony could summon the willpower to tear his mouth away from hers. "I had...another surprise," he panted, his expression somewhere between pleading and ravenous desire.

Ziva paused in undoing buttons to give him an incredulous look accompanied by one arched eyebrow. "Must you do that before I have my way with you?"

That statement pretty much sent any logical thought straight out of his head and Tony kissed her so suddenly she squeaked in surprise, but made up for it with an ardour such as he hadn't experienced since before the previous summer stole her confidence and ground it into dust. The time that followed was almost a blur, frenzied lovemaking accompanied by a slow, drawn out encounter that moved them both almost to tears. Ziva had taken control for their initial coming together and Tony wouldn't never be able to find the words to describe how gratifying it was to see the uninhibited side of her show itself after such a long hibernation. They'd barely recovered from that first high before he changed the tone completely and showed his wife just how good he could be at cherishing her.

Finally, when both were spent, content, and laying quietly together in the fading afterglow he leaned over to get something out of his nightstand drawer, then returned to his wife, trailing soft kisses up her neck and smiling against her lips when she turned to him expectantly, awaiting the touch of his skin on hers. Ziva brushed the barely there stubble on his cheek and Tony held up another envelope. "At risk of being called an unimaginative gift giver, I got us another year with the horses. I hope that's okay."

"Very okay," Ziva assured him, then her brow furrowed. "But you have spoiled me so well already. It is too much."

"You deserve it," he countered. "It's never too much for you Zi." His mouth met hers for only a moment. "Happy Birthday sweetheart."

Tears fell then and she tucked herself against his chest, whispering 'thank you' and 'I love you' and a few other mumbled phrases he didn't catch, but it was enough to know that yeah, he'd done a pretty good job this time. Tony rubbed her back gently and nuzzled his nose into her hair, still faintly smelling of lilacs from this morning's shower. "I'm sorry I made you wait so long today Zi, I hope it was a good birthday."

Ziva wiped her eyes and cradled his face with both hands. "You have always known how to make this day special for me. Toda ahava, ani ohevet otcha."

Tony turned his head, brushing his lips across her palm. "Reason #847 - I love you for the smile that lights up your eyes when I've really done something right."

"Trust me tesoro, you are always doing something right." His wife's assurance warmed his heart and he held her ever so carefully as waves of sleep swamped them, dragging them under and welcoming them into well deserved rest.

And though he'd meant to write it in a love letter the sentiment slipped from his lips instead, only just making it to her ears before she heard nothing but the soft footsteps of pleasant dreams, "Zi, I'm so thankful you were born. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't alive to be my wife. You mean everything to me." No one had ever made her feel more loved.

**NCIS**

**Saturday November 13**

Thankfully her birthday had fallen on a weekend they weren't on call, so Tony and Ziva were able to indulge - sleeping in until nearly ten, disturbed not even by their dog, who'd give up on human accompaniment and used the dog door to let herself out that morning. When she finally opened her eyes Ziva registered the warm weight of her husband's arm draped across her chest, his breath tickling her neck. For a long time she lay still and just enjoyed the sensations, thankful as always that she'd been allowed to have this dream of a life with a man who loved her beyond all reason with no end in sight.

Reviewing their activities the night before, Ziva knew that her post-Somalia self would've blushed at the boldness this Ziva had displayed during intimacy shared with her husband. But this Ziva felt a freedom in those interactions that she couldn't even have imagined a year prior. It reminded her of being undercover as partners the first time and the early days of their marriage before experience and trauma put a damper on her self-assurance. Running her fingers along his arm, she smiled slightly, grateful to simply be in this moment together.

Eventually though she felt the need to be doing something and edged cautiously away from her husband, perfectly content to let him continue resting. Ziva was pushing buttons through holes on a man's dress shirt a few sizes too large when Tony's voice reached her from the bed. "Looks good on you."

She turned and surveyed him fondly, moving her fingers very slowly towards the top, smirking as his eyes followed her every movement. "I always wanted this," she confided and he tipped his head.

"What?"

Ziva gestured to her attire. "To belong to someone." She perched on the edge of the mattress. "No matter who else I was with, whether for one night or longer, I never wore his clothes or stayed the night. I was always afraid I would not be good enough in the morning."

Tony slid his hand under her hair to cup her neck and drew her down to join their lips, whispering huskily, "How could you even think that? Every time I wake up with you in my arms I am amazed that this loving, generous, gorgeous woman wanted to spend the rest of her life with me." His thumb brushed her cheekbone. "Honey, you are so much more - good enough doesn't even compare."

That earned him several more kisses before she sat up and blinked away happy tears. "What did you want to do today?"

Stuffing down any comments about staying in bed or just wanting to stare at her for hours and try to figure out how he'd gotten so lucky, Tony forewent cheesy lines and laid out his plan. "I was thinking some time at the barn and then getting spiffy for our opera date tonight."

Ziva frowned. "Spiffy?"

He tugged a curl. "Elegant, well-dressed, stylish, fashionable. It just means we'll be the best looking couple in the crowd."

A light in her eyes warned that he probably wouldn't be able to get a coherent word out once he saw his wife in all her dolled up glory. "Then I will try not to disappoint."

"Impossible," Tony countered. "I'd take you in a potato sack and still be incredibly proud to have you on my arm. But seeing as we don't get this opportunity very often, I'll be expecting you to knock my socks off."

A thought flew through her eyes that he was intentionally trying to confuse her with the idioms, but she let it go and stood, looking for pyjama pants to put on under his shirt. "French toast for breakfast?"

He threw on track pants and a t-shirt and was at her side in a flash. "Lead on milady." They walked to the kitchen together and Tony couldn't help thinking that this was where he wanted to be for all the days they had left in this life.

**NCIS**

**Saturday November 14**

"Dad, do you have a picture of Gramma?"

Brent closed the fridge, looking at his son in confusion. "There's one by the door from our wedding buddy."

"No," Ryan shook his head. "I mean my other grandma."

"Oh." He slid his hands in his pocket. "You're talking about my mom."

"Yeah. Do you have a picture? I want to see what she looks like."

Brent held out his hand. "Let's go check the attic." They made their way upstairs and Brent pulled down the ladder outside his and CJ's room using a thin cord hanging from the ceiling. "Wait here," he instructed the boy.

Climbing to the top he scanned a handful of cardboard boxes before reaching for one labeled _M&amp;D_, plus a large bootbox reserved for his memories of his first parents. The weight he carried felt much heavier than their contents as he slowly moved back down. Once on the ground the ladder was folded and returned to its place and Brent gently wiped away a layer of dust covering each box before picking them up. "Let's go into our room Ry."

His son seemed to have realized the seriousness of this moment and crawled carefully onto their bed. Brent set his load in the middle and joined Ryan, smiling slightly. "Did you know I had two moms buddy?"

Ryan's brow furrowed. "No. How do you get two?"

"When I was younger than you my first parents died in a car accident. I was alone for a long time until a new mom and dad adopted me."

"You're adopted Dad?" the child's eyebrows shot up. "Is that why you want to adopt me?"

"Partly," Brent conceded. "I want you to know that we belong to each other as a family, that no one could ever take you away. Adopted is permanent and forever, just like getting married."

Ryan traced one of the stripes on the comforter. "What happened to your new mom and dad?"

Lifting the lid on the biggest box, he pulled out a framed pictured of the three of them in front of his parent's Wilderness Adventure store and showed it to his son. "These are my second parents and me."

The little boy studied the photo and looked up at Brent. "Sometimes I forget you used to be my age."

Brent gave him a half-grin. "I know, because I'm so old now, right?"

Ryan considered this. "Well, not as old as Grandpa."

"Thanks a lot kid." Then he sobered. "I got to keep that mom and dad until I was in college with Aunt Cassie and your uncles. They uh, died on a white water rafting trip." At least they were doing what they loved, but that had been small comfort for a teenager grieving the loss of his loving parents.

The child's brow furrowed. "I never knew anyone who died before. Did it hurt?"

Brent couldn't be sure whether he was asking if his parents hurt when they died or it hurt him, so chose the latter to answer. "Yeah buddy, it hurt a lot. Like when your mom lost Uncle Chris." Only much, much worse.

Ryan cocked his head to the side. "Does it still?"

He happened to glance up and catch CJ leaning against the doorframe, observing their conversation. "I don't really let myself think about them very much because I don't want to feel the hurt," Brent admitted and his wife immediately crossed the room and draped an arm around him.

"Looks like I'm missing out on all the fun."

"Just a trip down memory lane honey, that's all."

"Can I come too?"

Brent nodded. "Sure." He reached into the box and brought a handful of pictures to rest in his lap. Ryan cuddled up close to his side and he moved towards the center of the bed so CJ could sit on his left. "Ready?"

She leaned into him. "Beloved, I am glad for the chance to know you better."

He pressed a kiss to her cheek, cleared his throat, and began. "I met William and Kathy Pierce for the first time when I was ten years old..."

For the next couple hours the little family just enjoyed spending some quality time together and later that night Brent found that two new framed photos had joined the others on the mantle - a smiling boy surrounded on either side by a blond man and dark haired woman, and a grinning new college student preparing to take on a rock face while his mom and dad watched proudly. Funny that after not looking at those pictures for years because it was too painful, tonight seeing them again made him feel more at home than he had in eighteen long years.

**NCIS**

**Monday November 15**

Tony came up behind Ziva in the bathroom, sliding one black bra strap down so he could kiss her shoulder. "Y'know, I'm convinced you do this on purpose."

Ziva glanced back. "Do what?"

His lips moved slowly up her neck. "Spend as much time as possible in your underwear while getting ready just to torment me."

She turned and ran her fingers down his chest, pushing buttons he'd just done up back through the holes. "Maybe I am hoping to tempt you enough to give in."

Tony groaned at the suggestion. "Every time I see you like this I want to take you back to bed and have my way with you."

Ziva gave him a seductive look. "Who says we have to be in bed?"

His jaw went slack. "Miss David, those are some very naughty thoughts." He grinned. "I highly approve." The clocked ticked loudly and he sighed. "Work."

She breathed the invitation onto his skin. "We could just do a...quickie."

Tony's answer came in a fierce possession of her lips, grabbing her body tight against his. They were a little rushed getting to work and he had to come up with a story for the grin he couldn't contain, but all that trouble was worth those precious moments together that neither would trade for the world.

Only a minute after they walked in McGee looked up from his computer, his gaze zeroing in on Ziva's new accessory. His eyebrows rose. "New necklace Ziva?"

She smiled softly, studiously avoiding her partner's eyes. "Yes. It was a birthday gift from a friend."

The way he smiled told both his co-workers that Tim assumed the giver to be Rob. She braced herself for a barrage of curious questions, but he was his usual, tactful self. "He has good taste."

Ziva touched the pendant, again resisting the urge to glance her husband's direction. "Yes. I love it."

Gibbs came around the corner just then. "Looks good on you Ziver." He set a small carved wooden log with one branch curving up towards the ceiling on her desk and her brow furrowed. On a flat part at the top of the branch Gibbs placed the beak of a white dove, wings spread in flight. "Happy birthday kid."

To Ziva's delight the bird balanced on her perch, bobbing softly if touched. The details were intricate and it was hand painted, clearly a labour of love. Her lips parted in surprise and she had to blink rapidly to force back tears. "Thank you Abba, this is wonderful."

Their boss kissed the side of her head. "Cases should never interfere with special days."

Overwhelmingly touched to have been remembered, she leaned into him. "Do not worry. I have someone in my life who made it special."

Gibbs brushed his thumb over her cheek. "I'm glad. You deserve some happiness finally." And then abruptly he turned away, getting down to business. But both of the other male agents noticed that every time Ziva played with her present during the day, the gruff older man almost couldn't contain the smile that tugged at his lips. For the first time in a very long while it seemed that things were finally as they should be.

**NCIS**

Mark looked over at his wife while he carefully dried a plate. "So, whose turn is it to do date night this week?"

It was a casual question but Cassie immediately fixed him with an unnerving stare. "Oh no. Don't try to get out of planning something Reece, you know the consequences of that."

He leaned one hip against the counter, grinning. "Tell me again."

His wife turned laughing eyes on him, setting aside the sponge and wiping her hands. "_Kate and Leopold. A Walk to Remember. No Reservations. Loving Leah_. And if I'm feeling particularly sappy, _The Princess Bride_. Need I say more?"

Mark winced as the films were ticked off on her fingers one by one. "All in a row, huh?"

Mischief played over her expression. "Ten full hours of tooth-decaying chick flicks with absolutely no complaints, looking at your watch, or creative escape attempts. Shall we try that again?"

Dipping his fingers in the water and flicking them at her, Mark caught Cassie around the waist and pulled her close, capturing her mouth in a deep, drawn out kiss, thankful that their children were asleep in bed and they were free from stares and comments. When he finally let her go it was done slowly, a breath at a time, but not allowing for more than a few inches of space between them. Mark tucked soft blonde hair behind her ear and gazed at her adoringly. "Mrs. Reece, will you go out with me on Friday night?"

"Mmm." She teased him, nudging his nose with hers and making as if to skim her lips across his but pulling away at the last second. "I'll have to check my calendar."

"Cass," he growled warningly, tickling her to get a response.

Cassie muffled her laughter against his chest and took one of his hands, sliding it under her shirt at the back and distracting him from the punishment. Mark savoured the familiar warmth of his wife's skin while her breathing returned to normal, then she finally met his impatient gaze. "I will go out with you on one condition." His eyebrows rose in silent inquiry. "There absolutely must be brownies involved somewhere."

He chuckled. "Dessert, I should've known. With whipped cream?"

Her expression was aghast. "Of course with whipped cream." She poked him in the chest. "The real stuff Reece, none of this CoolWhip nonsense."

Mark swept his arm out and bowed from the waist. "The lady's wish is my command."

Cassie shook her head at him and went back to the dishes, eventually glancing over her shoulder. "Did you really forget?" After fifteen years it would be a surprise.

He snuck his arms around her waist and nuzzled his nose into her neck, kissing up to behind her ear, a spot that always made her shiver. "Forget you sweetheart? Absolutely impossible." Mark could count on one hand the things he was most thankful for in his life - right after his relationship with God, Cassie was number one.


	11. 8x7 Broken Arrow 1

_A/N: Hi guys! You get an extra post this week because I'm on holidays now until May 9 so I won't be able to put up another chapter until May 10. Don't hold me to it, but I'll do my best to update when I return. I hope you all enjoy this installment and I look forward to hearing what you think of it. Thanks for reading! :) ~Aliyah_

**Tuesday November 16**

The shrill ring of his cellphone drew Tony from a sound sleep and he vaguely remembered Ziva telling him that individual ringtones would lessen the chance of them answering the wrong phone accidentally, but he was almost certain he'd chosen a movie theme song not this annoying jingle. As he reluctantly rolled over and reached for the offending piece of technology it came to Tony that he'd been unable to choose between Magnum and Bond and had played eenie meenie minie mo instead, which resulted in his finger landing on the wrong spot and the phone resetting his ringtone automatically. One glance at the screen brought a surge of anger and he jabbed 'dismiss' more violently than normal, then returned to his previous position of laying wrapped around his other half.

Her sleepy voice broke through his racing thoughts. "Who was it?"

The sudden tension in her husband's body woke Ziva up completely. "My dad," he forced out.

She shifted to face him and pressed a kiss to his shoulder, running her hand soothingly down his arm. "Why did you not answer?"

Tony breathed out harshly. "Because," he said tightly, "he's not worth it."

Her brow knitted as her fingers danced across his skin, trying to relax him. "Perhaps he needed something."

He pushed away from her and sat up. "My dad always needs something Ziva! And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of playing his game."

Ziva eased onto her knees and looked into his eyes, taking it up on herself to smooth the waters between father and son. "When was the last time you heard from him?"

Tony dragged a hand down his face. "I think it was a postcard from Monte Carlo in February. Not a peep since then." He sounded disgusted. "Why even bother now?"

Taking her bottom lip between her teeth Ziva tried to figure out what would be a good thing to say, but he was not in the right attitude to hear anything that would require him reaching out to his father. So instead she cupped his face in her hands. "You are my treasure yakiri. My greatest desire is to love you enough to make up for all the others that missed out on too many opportunities to do the same."

In an instant she was crushed against his chest, with Tony doing his best not to sob into her hair. Those heartfelt words from his wife touched a place deep inside him and the emotions released were so intense that he shook from the force. Gentle hands stroked up and down his back, touching as much of his body as she could reach, igniting a desire in him to know her love which could only be quenched by making love. Anticipating his need, Ziva hitched up her negligee and lay back, bringing him to rest between her legs, her lips seeking his slowly at first, then with increasing resolve.

If things happened with a little less tenderness than usual, Ziva understood and avoided any connection between this moment and her experience last summer by keeping her focus completely on her husband. Sex could not always be careful, especially when it was an outlet for anger, frustration, and hurt at a situation, and she was grateful tonight that she could be her husband's solace in this way even if the soreness she anticipated would make her very aware of what they'd done for the next day.

Tony's weight stayed on her even after their time together was over and Ziva scraped her fingers lightly through his hair, murmuring comforting things into the darkness while he held her and huffed hot breath onto her collarbone. Finally he moved to the side and brushed her hair back, studying her seriously. "I'm sorry."

Her brow furrowed. "For what?"

He sighed, rubbing his thumb over her eyebrow. "I got too carried away." His fingers slipped beneath the sheet to trail lightly over her cooling skin. "You're gonna have bruises later. And-" Tony couldn't bring himself to say the words out loud and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I promised myself I would never hurt you, never use you like that, and now..."

Ziva leaned up to kiss him, her palm against his cheek. "It is alright tesoro. Making love is for so many things. For release, for communication, for fun, for love. We have used it to grieve, to apologize, to forgive, to forget, to feel." She folded her fingers between his. "We are more than a year away from Somalia Tony, I can handle it now if things do get a bit...intense. You do not always have to be so careful with me."

He closed his eyes. "We might have to be a decade away before I'll even be able to think about rough sex without feeling sick."

"Ahava," Ziva whispered, overcome by how deeply that summer still affected him. Sometimes she forgot his suffering was very much equal to her own, just in a different way. His anguish over losing her and the agony of fighting for each step of this painfully long healing process had shaken her husband's spirit deeply. She wondered if he would ever again look at her and not see the woman who almost didn't come back alive.

Tony groaned and fell back into her arms, covering her mouth with his. "You are more precious to me than anything else in the world. I want to be careful with you."

She smiled, tracing his beloved features with great care. "And I appreciate that. But I can also be what you need neshama, whatever you need. Please remember that."

There were times Tony was so totally without words when it came to his wife and the only way to express gratitude came through touch. His lips claimed hers in as loving a caress as he could manage and the hour left before their alarm went off was passed not by sleeping but in constant contact with each other, letting lips and hands soothe the agitation of one's soul and speak love deeply to the other's heart.

**NCIS**

Tony was still troubled when they got to work, but he managed a smile when Ziva pulled out her brand new American passport and showed it to McGee, smiling brilliantly. "Look what was waiting for me in the mail last night."

Tim's face lit up. "Your American passport. Congratulations Ziva." He held out his hand. "Can I see?"

It was then Ziva realized her error. As promised to her husband months ago, all her new paperwork was under both hers and Tony's last names. If McGee saw the change, it was all over. Swallowing, she opened the small blue book to the picture page and turned it around, her finger carefully placed to cover up the hyphen after David.

McGee rolled his eyes. "Seriously?"

Her eyebrows drew together. "What?"

"No one's passport picture should look that good." Ziva's joy returned and she glanced briefly at Tony, who mouthed 'I told you so'.

Tim then turned his attention to his other teammate. "What's up with you?"

He rolled his shoulders. "My dad called."

"Oh?" McGee tapped the plasma remote against his palm. "What is it this time?"

Tony drummed his fingers on the desk. "I don't know. It was four in the freaking morning. I didn't answer the phone."

"Maybe he'll call back," the junior agent offered.

"Not likely," Tony scoffed. "The man hasn't got a reliable bone in his body. I-"

But whatever he was about to say got cut off by Gibbs' arrival with a new case. At the scene a ringing cellphone led to the dead guy in the dumpster and Tony and McGee pulled rank to make her go through its disgusting contents, being that she was technically still the low man on the totem pole. Glaring daggers at their hastily retreating backs, Ziva decided her coworkers would pay for that little stunt.

Revenge was swift once they got back to the office and doled out with no mercy in sight - salt in Tony's coffee which had him spewing the first sip all over his desk, switching his ringtone to play Barbie Girl, stealing all of his stashed chocolate bars and goodies and distributing them to other employees throughout the office, strategically placed paperclips with threats attached hidden among folders and reports and office supplies. She unplugged and hid the radio receiver for McGee's wireless keyboard and mouse from the computer, took the wheels off his chair, glued his mug to the desk, put the staples in his stapler upside down, and seriously considered using double sided tape to stick all of the post-it notes in the holder together in one giant useless stack.

The fingertips were cut off all the crime scene gloves in their backpacks and rocks filled the bottoms just like they'd done to her in the beginning. Being a spy came in handy, giving Ziva the information she needed to change their computer passwords and silently gloat while the system continually locked them out. And she would've kept it up if not for the note on her desk signed by both men promising never to treat her like the newbie again, accompanied by a pile of her favourite sweets and a gift card to the coffee shop she frequented thrown in for good measure. At that Ziva looked up and smiled at first one, then the other, a non-verbal declaration of forgiveness and truce that was interpreted correctly since she hadn't made eye contact or spoken with either of them all morning.

On their way back from the breakroom with unsabotaged refreshments, Tony shook his head. "Remind me never to get on the former assassin's bad side again."

McGee sighed. "Tell me about it. I don't know how I'm going to get that mug off my desk."

"Hammer and chisel maybe," Tony suggested. "But I don't think it'll be in one piece when you're done."

Research for the case and trying to find a motive took up the next hour or so and then they came across the video from the airport. As they watched one white haired gentleman exit right after their victim, Tony and Ziva stared at the screen in disbelief. "That...looks like your father."

"No," he breathed, checking the time stamp. It was only minutes before the phone call he received. "Oh man. This is not good." Tony started pacing across the bullpen. "Why didn't I answer the phone?" His conscience provided a response. _Because you were more worried about rolling over and snuggling with your warm, soft wife than answering a call that didn't read 'Gibbs'. _He scraped his fingers through his hair. "My father's not an early riser. I should've known something was wrong. I should've taken the call."

Ziva touched his arm, then drew back quickly. _Too much familiarity_. "I'm sure he's alright Tony. He looked fine getting off the plane."

"Yeah, well, the guy in front of him ended up dead," Tony grumbled.

The partners locked eyes and Ziva stared intently at her husband, wishing to offer him some form of support and comfort since she couldn't show it with other people around. Then McGee reported a location from Senior's cellphone. "He's at a bus station."

Tony threw up his hands. "Oh great. It's worse than I thought." He grabbed his gun and headed out. "DiNozzos do not take buses."

"Ziver." With one word Gibbs sent her after him, the serious look on her face giving away her worry.

Tense and quiet on the way to the station, Tony gripped the steering wheel hard and tried to remember to breathe. Once there he and Ziva walked swiftly through the terminal until they got outside and spotted a familiar head of hair waiting in line. He breathed a sigh of relief and Ziva smiled. "There he is. Thank God he is okay."

Tony clenched his jaw. "Give me a second." He strode towards the older man. "This is unbelievable. Dad. Dad!"

Senior turned around. "Oh, Junior."

The sunglasses came off and he stared at his father. "What are you doing here?"

"In Washington?"

Tony gave him an exasperated look. "At a bus station."

Senior frowned. "Why didn't you answer your phone?"

_Too many reasons to name._ "Well, you did call me in the middle of the night." _When I had much more enjoyable things to do, like holding my wife._ "And I tried to get ahold of you."

"When?"

"Half an hour ago."

Senior checked his phone. "Blocked ID. You know I don't accept blocked calls."

Tony rolled his eyes. That explained a few things. "I've been a blocked number since I started at NCIS."

Senior seemed nervous. "How'd you find me?"

"I'm a federal agent Dad. We tracked your phone."

"That doesn't give you a right to violate my privacy," the older DiNozzo blustered. "What else do you know?"

"I know you came in on a really nice jet."

Senior eyed him suspiciously. "Keeping tabs on me Junior?"

"Not really. You just landed in the middle of my murder investigation. And for the thousandth time, it's Tony."

"You can't be Tony, I'm Tony. What murder?"

Tony briefly explained about the death of Senior's fellow passenger and reached for his arm. "We need you to come down to the Navy Yard."

Senior turned. "Alright." Catching a glimpse of the dark-haired woman waiting, he grinned and returned her wave. "Oh, is that Ziva? You know, I didn't see nearly enough of her last time I was in town. She's gorgeous, don't you think Junior?" The insinuation heated Tony's blood but he managed to contain it until the man dropped his next comment. "Don't forget my bag."

He walked towards Ziva with his arms spread out. "Ziva, look at you."

She smiled. "Hello Mr. DiNozzo."

Senior kissed the back of her hand. "Tony, please. How are you sweetheart?"

"I'm well, thank you." She shook her head and cut her eyes to her grumpy husband. "However I already have one Tony, I do not think I can handle two." But she did hug him and press her lips lightly to his cheek. The man was her father in law after all and it was obvious where her husband got his charm.

"Watch the hands," Tony snapped, though they weren't inappropriately placed at all. He dragged Senior's luggage with him and headed for the building, acting quite disgruntled. "Let's go."

Ziva shot Tony a look and small smile before leading his father to their waiting car. Tony stowed Senior's luggage in the trunk and remained silent on the drive back while Senior and Ziva chatted about their many travels. As soon as his father was delivered into Gibbs' custody, Tony practically dragged Ziva to the nearest elevator and kissed her hard. Frowning, Ziva pushed him back and saw the annoyance sharp and clear in his eyes. Shaking her head slowly, she leaned up and touched her lips softly to his.

Tony got the message and sighed. "He was flirting with you Ziva."

"You cannot get angry at him for something he does not know," she pointed out practically.

His shoulders sagged. "He's so handsy, I hate that he was coming on to you."

Ziva pulled him close. "I have the DiNozzo I want. Do not worry ahava, I will not be swept away."

Tony kissed her again, gently this time. "It's him I don't trust, not you." A fact that brought relief to Ziva considering some of her past actions. Drawing her into his arms, he lay his head on her shoulder. "I'm not me when he's around Zi. Dad shows up and I'm just that lonely twelve year old boy again, doing anything to try and make him love me. And the bitter adult I hate myself for becoming because he never did."

Ziva put her hand on his heart. "Your father loves you Tony. But, like mine, I doubt he has ever said it the right way. That generation of men was raised to never show feelings, not even to their families." She brushed her mouth over his ear. "I am glad that you are different."

Tony moved to look into her face. "I know you're afraid to hope it might be possible, but I swear Ziva, if we ever had a kid I would say 'I love you' every day. No child should ever have to wonder or ask, that's not the way it's supposed to be."

Ziva pushed away her longing to carry their baby, to feel his child move and grow inside her, a desire that had only gotten stronger since they started saving for IVF. She went back and forth from hope to despair, her conviction as changeable as Abby's moods, and today was not one of her believing days. "I am sorry Tony. You would have been a good father."

"Hey." He caressed her cheek. "I-we still might get that chance. Don't give up on us yet."

They drew close, lips fitting together, drowning both sorrows and frustration in a kiss of love and reassurance. Before it became more Ziva broke away and whispered 'I love you' one more time, setting the elevator in motion again. As he slid his arms around her waist, Tony wondered if Senior would ever know what he was missing out on.

**NCIS**

Senior's interrogation with Gibbs was mercifully short and Tony would've been lying if he said he wasn't relieved the man was leaving. Of course, Abby didn't help matters when she protested, "But you just got here. Don't you want to stay a couple days? You can have some quality time with Tony."

At that the Senior Field Agent's eyes widened and he made a quick slicing motion across his throat before helping his dad with his coat. "I'd love to Abby," Senior responded, "but I have to get back to New York. I've been away too long."

It occurred to Tony to wonder where he'd been but just as quickly he determined not to care. "We barely got to see you," Ziva added, drawing a dark look from her husband. But it would be nice to actually get to know the man who'd fathered him.

"Yeah," McGee put in. "We were kind of hoping to hear your version of why Tony got expelled from boarding school."

"And that's enough catching up," Tony interrupted loudly. "Let's go Dad." He was in a hurry to get the man on his way. The longer he stayed around the more trouble he could cause.

Senior frowned. "What's the matter with you Junior? Relax."

Tony sighed. "Right. But you know, I have a job to do. The investigation is time sensitive and I need to get back to work."

They almost made it to the elevator when Gibbs came downstairs. "Nope. He's staying put."

Senior turned around. "Am I a suspect Gibbs?" He seemed intrigued at the prospect.

"You've got an invite to the reception. We need in."

Tony's shoulders sagged and he walked quickly to the team leader's desk, lowering his voice. "Boss, he can't stay with me." There was no way he and Ziva could pull off a cover like that. And how were they to explain the house? No, best to keep his father as far away from their life as possible. "We don't-it's just not a good idea. And I-"

"Good news," Senior announced, closing his phone. "I was able to book a room at the Adam's House. I assume NCIS will foot the bill, since you're using my connections."

Gibbs nodded. "Sure."

Sensing Tony's frustration, Ziva offered to call a cab and escorted Senior out. Clenching his jaw, he faced off with Gibbs. "You know what he's like, the problems he has. Why are you enabling him?"

The older man sat down. "Because you're running out of chances to have a relationship with your father Tony. Take this one."

"It's him that doesn't want a relationship with me!" Tony insisted, jabbing a finger at his boss. "Just stay out of my life Gibbs. You have no idea what it was like to grow up with him!"

"I know you're going to regret it if you keep burning those bridges DiNozzo." Gibbs made a fist around his pen. "Take it from someone who's been there."

Too worked up to appreciate the admission or advice, Tony spun on his heel and stormed off towards the men's room. Without attracting the team leader's attention, Ziva found him there several minutes later, leaning over the sink, tension rippling off him in waves. She checked to make sure they were alone, locked the door, and rested back against the wall with her arms crossed. The seconds ticked by loudly until Tony sighed. "Aren't you going to say something?"

"I'm here if you need me," she responded quietly. "But I will not force you to talk."

His laughter was harsh. "Unfortunately, the way I need you can't be acted on at work." He shoved his fingers into his hair. "I'm not even sure it should be acted on at all. I don't really trust myself right now. You deserve better than what I'm thinking."

Ziva stayed where she was and thought carefully about her next words. "Do you remember the scene from _Mr. and Mrs. Smith _when they...reconnected?" He nodded minutely and she pushed through the hesitation born of desert abuse. "If that is where your head is, I can...match your emotion."

Tony turned on her. "No!" he spit out. "This morning was bad enough Ziva, do not give me permission to make it worse. I will never touch you like that or when I'm in this frame of mind. You spent all of last summer being raped by terrorists trying to cause you pain. You've had a partner force himself on you as blackmail and punishment. I won't add myself to that list. I won't use you to take the edge off my rage. If that's what you came in here to tell me then you can get out."

His speech was fiery and passionate and if the wall hadn't been so close Ziva would've taken a step back. She shook her head when he finished. "You are not a monster Tony. I have always known you are better than that."

"Yeah, well, maybe it's inside all of us somewhere. I won't take the chance to find out." Even the thought of being so aggressive with her made him want to throw up. Never. Not with her history, not after spending four months begging for her to accept his love in a physical way and three more waiting to find their rhythm again. If he had to walk all the way across the city to calm down, so be it. But he would not make Ziva his solution.

"I do not want you to treat me like I'm broken Tony," she argued.

Tony glared at his wife. "I'm treating you like you're better than just a fix or good for some measly stress relief. Why can't you let me cherish you?" He faced the other side of the room. "You know what? I'm done. Just leave. I don't need you here right now."

Four years of experience kept her from taking his words at face value and walking away with hurt spreading through her like poison. Instead Ziva took a few steps forward and slid her arms around his waist. All Tony's muscles coiled so tightly they could've snapped, but she pressed in close and tried to convey her love and her whole heart through one simple gesture. Speaking in Hebrew because he wasn't listening to English at this moment, Ziva buried her face in his shirt. "_Do not push me away_."

Her tone gave away the plea, even if all Tony recognized was 'do not' and 'me'. When he opened his eyes she was already in front of him, pulling him down to claim his lips in a kiss so soft and sweet that all his anger drained away so fast he almost embarrassed himself by crying. Bringing his hand up to bury in her hair, he deepened the caress, aching for more of that intimacy. Ziva tilted her head to angle even closer, sighing into his mouth when his other arm came around her back and pulled her into him, their bodies automatically adjusting to put as much of them in contact as possible. Ziva's arms slid behind his neck and she swept her lips over his, taking only the quickest of breaths so they did not have to stop.

Tony eagerly accepted her willing display of affection, kicking himself as the cutting words he'd spoken began filtering back into his mind. He tried to break the kiss and apologize but she wasn't yet finished with this part of their conversation and aligned their mouths again. Giving in because there was really nothing else he'd rather be doing, he parted her lips gently, tasting and taking as much of her as he could get. Finally Ziva let go long enough to catch her breath and stayed glued to him, needing the support of his arms. She hadn't meant to lose herself so fully in her husband but that was yet another wonder of their relationship - that no matter how many times they kissed or touched or made love it only ever made them want to do it more.

"Did that help?" she whispered, leaning into his palm gracing her cheek.

"I'd say that kind of communication definitely got through to me more than the other stuff." Ziva frowned and he stopped joking. "You are the salve for all my wounds honey. I love you so much."

"And I you." She gazed at him with eyelids half closed and he chuckled, rubbing his thumb along her bottom lip.

"This is going to be a problem."

Ziva frowned. "What?"

"You going back to the bullpen not looking like you've just been kissed really thoroughly."

She smirked. "You wanted to say kissed senseless."

"I did," he confirmed. "But I don't think it applies. Those ninja senses of yours never get knocked off kilter."

"I don't know about that ahava," Ziva confessed. "There are times the world ceases to exist when I am with you." She caught a glimpse of her watch and backed up fast. "Has it really been that long?" The length of her absence would not be easy to explain.

"Couldn't tell ya," Tony admitted. "But I'm going to get coffee and you...might want to go see what Ducky has. Of anyone he's least likely to say something even if he notices."

She ran her fingers down the buttons on his shirt. "I like this casual look. Much less stuffy than the full suits."

"Thanks." It was kind of a random compliment when he was seriously considering one last kiss to tide him over, but he'd take it.

"Gibbs?" Ziva asked, eyebrows arching.

Tony shrugged. "We'll deal with him as he comes, I guess." Stealing that kiss became more than just a fleeting thought and she smiled when he pulled back. "Thanks for not giving up."

"You are the one who taught me how to hold on," she whispered, ducking out of the room after making sure the coast was clear.

One thing was for sure - no one could ever affect him more deeply than Ziva David-DiNozzo. For her he'd handed over his whole heart and found the missing piece of his soul. As long as they didn't lose sight of that in all the other clutter, everything really would be okay.

**NCIS**

While Tony was taking Meira for a walk that night, Ziva made a phone call. She smiled when her husband's best friend answered the phone. "Reece residence."

"Hello Mark."

"Ziva, what a nice surprise. How're things?"

She rubbed her forehead. "It has been a trying day."

"Oh? I'm sorry to hear that." Mark glanced towards his wife. "Were you looking for Cassie then?"

"No actually. It is you I need to speak with."

Sitting down backwards on one of the kitchen chairs, Mark nodded. "Okay."

"Tony's father showed up today," Ziva shared quietly. "He is...taking it hard." She sank onto the couch. "I know what it is like to have...very strong feelings against a relative, but I was trained to keep everything inside. Tony is so angry. It worries me."

Mark blew out a breath. "He put a hole in the wall?"

Her brow furrowed. "Why would he do that?"

"Because of those very strong feelings. Sometimes they have nowhere else to go. I know with absolute certainty that he would never hurt you, but he might put his fist through the wall to let some of that rage bleed out."

"That has happened before," she realized. "More than once?"

"I only saw the one time and I wrestled him to the floor to keep it from happening again." Mark shook his head. "Not a pretty sight."

Ziva had a hard time picturing her gentle husband acting that way. "I see."

He sighed. "Tony's dad likes to show up every few years to mess with his son's head. Sometimes he can take it, but more often it just starts a really ugly downwards spiral."

"This is the second time in one year."

Mark frowned. "Why didn't I hear about the first one?"

She thought back to Senior's appearance during the case with the spoiled prince. "I think he talked to Gibbs."

"As long as he talked to someone." Mark rubbed his face. "I don't like what seeing his dad does to him."

"You understand," Ziva whispered. "Please, will you meet him tonight? Go for coffee or play basketball, anything. There is more history between the two of you than what he and I share." Her voice dropped. "He won't let me help."

Mark shifted uncomfortably. "If you're implying what I think there's a good reason for that. Hold on a sec and let me check with Cassie." But before he could even take the phone from his ear, Cassie mouthed 'Go'. His eyebrows rose. 'Are you sure?' She nodded and he smiled. 'Thank you'. "Okay Ziva, I'll give him a call. Don't worry."

"Too late," she whispered. "Thank you."

"Anytime," Mark promised, though he hoped this issue wouldn't be a concern again anytime in the near future. He hung up and hugged Cassie, who looked concerned. "D's going to be fine Cass. He'll get over it. He always does."

"But he shouldn't have to."

He squeezed her shoulder and wandered towards the entry for his next call.

Tony was sitting on the front steps enjoying a little bit of puppy love when his phone rang and he smiled at the screen. "Papa Smurf, how's it going?"

"Can't complain. I was thinking about going to the community center to see if the court's free. Wanna join me?"

He rubbed Meira's head and sighed. "You talked to Ziva."

"Say yes to a couple games D. The rest should be face to face."

"Yeah, sure," Tony conceded. "I'll meet you there in twenty minutes." He closed the phone and headed inside, slipping his arms around Ziva from behind.

"So, you tattled on me."

Her body tensed. "Are you mad?"

He kissed behind her ear. "I was going to say thank you."

Ziva turned. "I wasn't sure how else to help." Her palm came to rest on his cheek. "Mark knows you better than I do."

Tony shook his head, holding one hand over hers. "No, not better. He knows me differently. In a sense we grew up together. But Ziva," he kissed her palm, "no one knows me better than you." He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. "You have my heart."

She threw her arms around him and buried her head in his neck to cover her tears. Just as quickly she pushed him away and went back to supper preparations. "Go play. I will keep a plate warm for you."

He slid his hand over the back of her neck and went to grab his gym bag. Less than half an hour later Tony walked into the court at the community center where Mark was shooting hoops. The ball came sailing his way as soon as he dropped his things. "Play to twenty-one?"

"Nah," Tony suggested, "let's do BUCKEYES instead."

Mark chuckled. "A little bit longer than HORSE."

"I've got time. Besides, we rarely do anything the normal way."

"Yeah, what was it Zip picked that one time, GIRAFFE? After that anything was fair game."

"More fun that way," Tony agreed, rolling the ball between his hands. He dribbled it a couple times and sent it up. His shot glanced off the rim and he sighed. "B."

Mark caught the rebound and did a lay up. "So, your dad's in town."

"Seems that way." Tony copied Mark's shot and hit the backboard this time. "U." It was going to be a quick game at this rate.

"I take it things didn't go too well." Another basket.

"Well, he's still here!" Tony spat irritably. "I wish he would just stay in New York or Europe or wherever the heck he spends his time." This throw had a bit of bite to it and bounced sharply away from the net. "C."

"No, you don't," Mark countered. "You want to get rid of him so he can't hurt you, because you're at your most vulnerable when your father's around."

"Get outta my head Reece," Tony growled.

"This is when friendship matters most, having someone love you enough to be honest when you don't want to hear it."

Tony turned and flung the orange sphere across the gym. "I hate him!" he declared hotly.

Mark watched his chest heave and jaw clench with anger. "You hate what he's become," he said quietly. "But mostly I think you miss him the way he was when you were young."

"Are you trying to pick a fight?" Tony asked incredulously.

"Would if I thought it might help. But no, I'm trying to give you a different perspective."

Tony tracked down the wayward ball. "What for?"

Mark tossed it cleanly through the hoop. "Your own good."

At Tony's turn the ball got as close as it had come yet to going in. "K. How d'you figure?"

"The problem with negative emotions - hate, anger, resentment - is that they take up a lot of space in your heart. They're like weeds that grow quickly and take over the whole garden, choking the life out of good plants if they're not dug out and thrown away."

"Should've seen an analogy coming Mr. Sunday School Teacher," Tony complained good naturedly and Mark shoved his shoulder.

"Pay attention class, this is the good part." Tony rolled his eyes but listened. "If you hold onto all of that junk long enough, eventually you're going to run out of room in your heart for love. And that won't just affect your dad D. That'll mess with your relationship with Ziva, your team, us. Take some time and think about those consequences before you waste all your energy on Senior's latest escapades."

Tony sank onto the bleachers and dropped his head into his hands, blowing out a breath. "Yeah, perspective. Never saw it like that before."

A firm hand rested on his back. "You're a good guy Tony and you've worked so hard to change and be better than the man you became by default. It's time to let this go too."

"Maybe it is." Tony remained deep in thought a few minutes longer and finally stood, a genuine smile playing on his lips. "Okay Papa Smurf, let's see what you've got. I still have four letters left."

They finished the first game and played to twenty-one, getting good and sweaty and burning off steam and stress as intended. At the end Tony shook his friend's hand and took a long hot shower in the locker room before returning home. Ziva was leaning over the counter reading a magazine and picking pieces off a freshly baked cinnamon roll, and he couldn't help remembering that being in the kitchen was Aunt Nettie's recipe for anxiety as well. She wore only a black silk negligee with a short, thin white robe overtop. She smiled hopefully at him when the door opened and Tony held out his arms. "Come here."

She joined him and slid her hands around his waist. "Did it help?"

"It did," he confirmed. Ziva kissed his jaw and stood on tiptoe to catch his bottom lip between hers, a luxury he indulged in for only a few seconds. "I love you sweetheart, with everything I am. But we can't have sex tonight."

One eyebrow arched. "If I was trying to start something amore, it would not be as subtle as one kiss. That was just because you walked in the door."

He didn't believe her for a minute, but he had to give her props for covering well. "Oh, I see. Well in that case, I think I need another taste of that cinnamon roll." Tony cupped her face and lowered his mouth to hers, being very thorough about the exploration.

Ziva pushed him away and wrinkled her nose. "Get your own. I'm not sharing any more."

The banter was needed and he squeezed her hand in thanks, then flopped onto the couch. "I'm going to watch Magnum for awhile."

She drew her fingers over his neck from behind and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "And I am going to bed. Enjoy your show yakiri."

Normally they preferred the same bedtime but there was nothing normal about tonight. "Sweet dreams babe," Tony called after her, turning the DVD player on. All he wanted was a little oblivion before he tried to go to sleep. Wayward fathers made resting easy a challenge.

It wasn't long before he realized even his favourite TV show couldn't hold his interest, so he chose to focus instead on the one thing that could bring him peace - Ziva. He crept silently across the floor and stood in the doorway to their room, watching her sleep with a faint smile on his lips. Longing to go to her, brush a kiss across her brow and whisper how much he loved her but not wanting to wake her, Tony retreated to the office with a pen and a fresh pad of paper.

Tonight's letter had the potential to be rather lengthy, because every time he had the chance to just be quiet and think about his wife it seemed a waterfall of words came pouring out, his desperate attempt to convey in one feeble way the difference she had made in his life. It began, as almost always, with _Dear Ziva. _

_As I sit here in the office in the stillness of our house I remember again how honoured I am to have your love and the promise of the rest of your life. I can't describe to you how proud and eager I am whenever I see you taking a few more steps towards us, towards that inevitable point when our marriage and what we have built together will no longer be a secret but something out in the open for others to be proud of. The overwhelming possessiveness I felt on seeing your new passport, a legal document where you claimed my name, is something I want again and again and again as that change becomes more permanent. I love 'David'. That's how I met you and I will always treasure those memories, but - don't get all independent on me now ninja - in my heart I always think of you as Ziva DiNozzo and I can't wait to share that with the world. _

He continued on, reiterating his thanks for how she'd handled the situation with his dad earlier and appreciating her concern and the way she cared for him. For fun Tony included a few of the things he'd love to be able to sneak away and do with her at work, citing times in the bullpen where it was all he could do not to march across the room and kiss her in full view of everyone. After a couple pages the flow of words began to dwindle until at last he ended with, _Ti amo più della mia vita. Always, Tony._ _**I love you more than I love my own life**_.

Folding the letter, Tony sealed it with a kiss she wouldn't be able to see and propped it in front of the flower vase on her desk, which still held the dried remnants of the first bouquet he'd gotten her after their wedding. He fingered them gently as some of the intense emotions he'd experienced earlier began to give way to exhaustion and decided that now would be a good time to fall asleep in the arms of someone who always made him feel loved.


	12. 8x7 Broken Arrow 2

**Wednesday November 17**

After the debrief on Royce's house Tony tried again to convince Gibbs that using his father was not their wisest course of action. Tired of the broken record speech and the lame excuses his senior agent was throwing up, he put finality on his next words. "He's not going in alone. He's being accompanied by an agent."

Desperation quickly took over Tony's features. "Oh, no Boss. This-this is a bad idea! I mean, I know where you're going and he and I...don't work well together. I just-"

Gibbs stared at him. "What makes you think it's you?"

Ziva came in with a dress bag over her arm and smiled apologetically. Tony's eyebrows jumped up. "You're going with my father?" He closed his eyes. "This is crazy."

She chuckled. "Your father doesn't think so. He sent me flowers." She fingered the beautiful bouquet on her desk that Tony only just noticed.

"This can't be happening," he groaned and Gibbs sighed.

"If you're that worried DiNozzo, go to the hotel and check on your dad. Make sure he's ready."

"Yeah, okay, good," Tony rambled. "I'll do that." He grabbed his coat, gun, and badge and walked out, lost in his head. Senior and Ziva going to the summit together was throwing him off big time, but he still had a job to do.

After he lost it at the Adam's House because his father enlisted a personal tailor, bought a cashmere suit worth thousands, and was standing around drinking vodka and thinking he's James Bond, Tony finally gave up and shut his mouth, which gave Senior a chance to speak. "So Junior, about Ziva - what's your relationship with her?"

Tony ground his teeth and forced the words out, well rehearsed and practiced lines that were wearing very thin after over four years. "She's my partner. We're co-workers. End of story." Or at least, end of story as far as anyone at NCIS was aware.

The older man grinned. "Wonderful. Then you won't mind if I...make my move should the opportunity present itself?"

Tony groaned and prayed for the whole conversation to be a nightmare he could wake up from. "Dad, I beg you, do not embarrass me tonight."

Senior's smile and the twinkle in his eyes were totally un-reassuring. Tony had a feeling that after this mission he'd have to find a hole to hide in, because no matter what happened McGee would never let him live this down.

**NCIS**

"The people that come up with these aliases have no imagination," Tony complained as he helped Ziva zip up her dress in the unoccupied women's locker room. It was cute - sleeveless with a lace covered bodice starting at her collarbone and sheer for a couple of inches, putting it on the professional side of pretty. It tapered to a waistband held together with a jeweled strap, then flowed into a knee-length skirt. Though she'd chosen it for the mission, the outfit was something she could wear out somewhere with him as well which, as she put it, killed two bats with one stone. "Sophie, Sophia - why not something exotic like Carlita or Elena or Inez or Valencia?"

She glanced over her shoulder and he took time to admire the updo Abby had spent so long on. Two sections of hair from each side were pulled back and twisted, then woven together and tucked into the rest of her hair, done up in an elegant bun. "Perhaps you should suggest one of those for next time."

"There better not be a next time of you going undercover without me," he muttered darkly. His hands settled at her waist and she crossed her arms over her stomach, laying her hands on top of his.

"You will have eyes on me at all times."

"And ears." Tony sighed against her neck. "My father, he might...try to get somewhere with you. Zi-"

Ziva moved to face him, her palms braced on his chest. "There is no need to worry ahava, I can handle myself."

"Yeah, I know. I just hope it won't be necessary." But knowing his dad's track record, the odds were against them.

She kissed him softly and smiled. "Let's go do our jobs Tony."

Forty-five minutes later he watched from the surveillance van as Senior escorted Ziva up the steps. "You look ravishing tonight my dear." As they walked slowly towards the entrance he looked back at the camera and slid his hand from her lower back to her derriere. Tony clenched his jaw and had to dig his fingers into the arms to keep from jumping out of the chair and making a very unprofessional scene. Ziva, however, surprised him by taking Senior to task. Removing his hand from her body, she stared coldly at the elder DiNozzo.

"Stop Mr. DiNozzo." His eyebrows rose in surprise while she continued. "I hope you have more respect for your son than to act inappropriately with his partner just to get a reaction." Disappointment marred her features. "I thought better of you."

Senior looked at her blankly for a moment, then became contrite. "You have my apology Ziva." He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably under the weight of her gaze. "We do have an act to follow though. I was only playing the part."

"No, you weren't," Ziva argued quietly. "And yes, we have our cover to maintain. But you will keep your actions honorable tonight."

He nodded once. "Understood." This time his arm was offered and she took it graciously. "Shall we Sophia?"

Her smile betrayed none of the censure Tony thought his father deserved, though he was proud of her for standing up to him. "Of course."

He breathed a little easier knowing she'd keep Senior on a short leash and watched the monitors closely with McGee as they began identifying players at the summit. Tony's relief was short-lived, however, because all too soon Agah Bayar made her and things in the surveillance van got very tense. "I don't like this," he muttered.

"Neither do I," Gibbs agreed from MTAC. "Pull them out."

"Ziva, abort," he ordered immediately, poised for action.

She smoothed Senior's lapel. "Just a few more minutes. I have not planted the bug yet."

Tony's voice rose. "Gibbs' orders. Get out of there now! Gaston's the killer."

Her smile dropped and every sense went on alert. "We're leaving," she told her charge.

"Oh, not yet Sophia. There's the president of the World Bank."

Ziva squeezed a pressure point in his hand. "That was not a request, it is an order. Move, and act naturally."

Senior obviously felt her tension and nodded, his hand drifting to her back. "Of course. Come darling."

They smiled and eased their way through the crowd but it was too late to make a subtle exit and two armed men waited at the bottom of the stairs. Sizing up the situation, Ziva assessed her ability to fight her way out while Senior made excuses for their departure. It didn't matter that they weren't buying any of it because as one reached for her camera broach, making Tony and McGee bolt to their rescue from the communications van, she heard a question over the comms. "Does Agent David carry a weapon?"

Gibbs sounded grim. "She is a weapon."

Ziva decided she could take the guards without issue when the same guy whose hand had been dangerously close to her chest moments before grabbed her arm to stop them from leaving. She sliced the side of her hand into his throat and kicked his legs out from under him. Turning to deal with the other one, Ziva saw Senior knock him to the ground. She laughed and Senior grinned. "Champion of my college boxing team. I guess some of those skills stuck."

Tony and McGee ran in with guns drawn to find the threat neutralized, and Ziva took McGee's cuffs while Senior looked at his son. "Junior, can I borrow your handcuffs?"

He groaned internally. There would be no living with him after this. "We'll take it from here Dad." But although Ziva seemed pleased with how things turned out, Tony was so angry he couldn't even look at her. This wasn't over yet.

**NCIS**

Half an hour later Tony stalked into the women's changeroom and glared at the young woman he recognized from Personnel, who was fixing her hair. "Out!" he barked. Her eyes widened and she hurried to the door.

Ziva, pulling bobby pins out and unraveling her hair from its confines, glanced back. "That will cause a stir."

_Not nearly as much as the one I'm going to cause now,_ he thought darkly. He strode over and got in her face. "When did my word become not good enough for your safety? Why did you wait until it had Gibbs' authority before you listened?"

She seemed surprised at his vehemence. "At first I thought you were just trying to limit the time I spent with your father, but-"

Tony interrupted. "You thought I'd sabotage a mission and jeopardize our secret just because I was jealous?" He scraped agitated fingers through his hair. "Do you know me at all?"

"Tony-" she started, but he turned away.

"I'm out of here."'

"Tony stop, please!" Ziva called after him, the vulnerability in her voice halting his progress. "We promised not to walk away when things get difficult."

He clenched his jaw and grabbed a balled up towel sitting on the bench, chucking it at the wall. "I don't want to talk any more because nothing you say can make up for not trusting me enough to follow my orders." Tony faced her again. "I'm your Senior Field Agent, but more than that I'm your husband. When will that start making a difference in how you respect my authority at work?"

She could see clearly how hurt he was and her shoulders sagged. "I'm sorry Tony."

He dropped onto the bench. "Yeah, me too."

They suffered separately in silence for too long before Ziva made the first move and joined him, tentatively setting her hand on his back. Tony bristled but didn't move. "I am sorry ahava. I am not used to leaving partway through a mission, to giving up, and perhaps it is my pride getting in the way - for that I ask your forgiveness. I did not mean for my actions to be perceived as disrespect, as if your word does not mean just as much as Gibbs'. I reacted to news of the killer when we left, not to Gibbs' name." Those things were not easy for her to admit, except the last part, and she held her breath, hoping.

He steepled his fingers. "I can appreciate what you're saying, but I think I just need to be mad for awhile. We can come back to this at home." Tony stood without making eye contact. "You better get changed, Vance wants us upstairs for the debrief ASAP."

Ziva sat alone after he left and wondered again why they kept hitting bumps when everything was going well. Though she'd rather curl up in a corner and cry, she forced herself to get dressed, pull half her hair back in a clip, and join the rest of the team upstairs. Vance asked the same questions Tony did about why she hadn't immediately followed orders and Ziva wished she had a better answer for him. That earned her a lecture, and though humiliating in front of her co-workers, it was something she obviously deserved.

Any vindication Tony thought he'd get from seeing Ziva forced to account for her actions bled away as he watched her withdraw into herself under the force of their director's words. Finally they were dismissed and he tried to offer her a sympathetic expression but she didn't even glance his way. Instead she grabbed her things once downstairs and took off for the gym. Tony had his own demons to wrestle and coped by having a real wrestling match with another agent in the training gym downstairs. He got soundly trounced and thought it served him right for the attitude he'd taken with his wife.

Ziva was just coming out of the bathroom when he walked in the door and they stopped to stare at each other. Tony set his bag down and Ziva tucked some hair behind her ear. "I do not want to go to bed like this."

He toed off his shoes and got a bit closer. "I accept your apology Ziva, and I forgive you. I should've said that sooner. But this really can't happen again. Husbands need to be respected and I don't like how it feels when you don't." His tone gentled. "I know I have it outside of work, but I need your respect at work, in front of the others, just as much. Maybe even more."

"I know," Ziva whispered. "And I will try very hard to give that to you." She swallowed. "Sometimes I think I am not very good at being part of a team, or even part of a marriage."

"Yeah," Tony sighed, "I have days like that too. So I'm thankful there is a tomorrow for another chance to get it right."

The need for a hug came from both of them at once and the couple held on for a long time. "Think we're okay for bed now?"

Her smile was only a glimmer with the rough terrain of today's events still spread out around them. "Yes."

Though there probably shouldn't've been as much cuddling as they ended up doing, the solace husband and wife found in each other's space and arms became the first stage of healing unintended wounds. And at least there was hope that tomorrow would be better.

**NCIS**

**Thursday November 18**

Ziva was awake by six am and rather than going for a run she slipped out of bed and shut herself in the office wearing her pyjamas and Tony's hoody. It was important to keep him close for this conversation, even if only in spirit. Lifting the corded phone on her desk off the hook, she pressed all the right buttons to connect her to the only other person who might be able to understand.

In her seaside cottage Nettie had just finished lunch when the phone rang. She answered after two rings, watching the waves crash along the shore. "Shalom."

"Doda?" her niece all but whispered.

"Zivaleh," Nettie smiled, delighted to hear from her. "_How are you?_"

Ziva closed her eyes. "_I have been better_."

The older woman frowned. "_What happened?"_

She sighed. "_I made a mistake at work, during an operation. Though I did not mean to, Tony felt I disrespected his authority. He got very angry._" Since it was rare to see her gentle husband so upset, the confrontation left more of an impression than it might have had he reacted any other way.

Nettie let the silence settle between them. "_Sometimes I forget how seriously men take that concept._"

"_So do I_." Ziva wrapped the cord around her fingers. "_Which is odd, considering my upbringing. Respect is so ingrained in Israel - for our elders, for our religious leaders, for our parents - that it should be second nature to me." She _stared out the window at a sky that had yet to show the faintest hint of dawn. "_I think I began to lose that quality when Tali died. I was so angry I no longer cared about tradition or many other things we had been taught. And especially after joining Mossad because I had to fight so hard to become better than all the men so they would see me as an equal_."

"_Yes, I remember_," her aunt commented. "_I could see you getting further and further away, but I did not know how to stop it. I was so worried for you Zivi, but I knew I had not lost you completely when you would come after missions and show me how much of your heart was still alive_."

A shiver gripped her and she burrowed deeper into the sweatshirt. "_I need to figure out a way to get that habit of respect back Doda. My husband deserves it and I want to show my love for him by giving that_."

"_Something for which you are to be commended little bird. I do not know how many wives really see what their husbands need from them in that way_."

Ziva frowned. "_I cannot take the compliment now, not after last night_."

Nettie opened the locket containing their pictures and wished she could hold them closer. "_Is Tony still angry?_"

She shrugged one shoulder. "_I do not know. We came to a...neutral place before bed last night and he held me while we fell asleep. He said he forgave me, but it cannot be so easy_."

"_Things are rarely easy between the two of you_," Nettie reminded her, "_perhaps this time you should let it_." But knowing her niece's propensity for punishing herself for wrongs, real or perceived, that outcome seemed unlikely.

A soul deep sigh gripped the young woman. "_Will you tell me a story Doda? I would like something to hold onto that does not belong to this hurt._"

Years had passed since Nettie heard that simple request and she was pleased to be able to offer something her niece needed. "_Of course. Did you have any requests?_"

"_You pick_."

"_Shall I start it the way I did when you were small?_"

Ziva's smile was a mere glimmer. "_Please_."

"_Very well. Once upon a time..._"

Shifting to a more comfortable position, Ziva lay her head back and let the language she'd learned from birth wash over her and try to push away all the darkness crowding in.

**NCIS**

The next day Tony watched from his desk as Senior strolled arm in arm with Abby while Ziva walked close beside them, both ladies clearly under his spell. "So," the forensic scientist asked, all sad eyes and pouty lips, "you're really leaving this time?"

He patted her hand. "I have to Abby. I asked the director about joining NCIS but apparently there's an age limit. I did get a cap though."

Ziva smiled indulgently and Tony wondered not for the last time why the female population had always fawned over Senior and fallen so easily for his charm. "Well, it looks great on you."

Stopping at the elevator Senior dropped a kiss on both of Abby's cheeks and was graced with one of her best hugs. "Goodbye." Then he turned and pressed his lips to Ziva's cheeks one at a time, sharing a special smile with her that made Tony grit his teeth. "Bye." He pressed the button and looked back. "Junior."

Gibbs nodded and Tony reluctantly stood. "Right behind you." He waited until they were almost out of hearing, then spoke to the older man. "Dad, I'm not going to ask you again. Don't call me Junior at work." _Or at all_, but he'd start with something small.

Senior seemed surprised, like he hadn't already heard this same request many times, and about to protest when he saw something in Tony's eyes that made him reconsider. "Alright son."

It was a quiet drive back to the hotel as Tony worked through his thoughts. He didn't have the heart during Senior's last visit to ruin his illusion, but now it was time. When they walked in the door Senior glanced back at him. "I'll just get my things."

"Okay." He paced in front of the coffee table, feeling like his skin was crawling. Confrontation had never been a strong suit. When Senior came back with the tux, clearly having the intention of keeping it, Tony took it from his hand. "Thanks Dad. I'll make sure this gets to wardrobe."

The older man was flabbergasted. "But, I thought..."

Tony stared at him. "You got two free nights in the penthouse in exchange for half an hour at the summit. I think we can call it even."

Senior frowned. "You've been acting strange since we left NCIS. What's up?"

Tony cleared his throat. "There's uh, something I've got to talk to you about."

His father was suddenly concerned and moved close. "Are you alright Anthony? You're not sick or anything?"

"No." Tony shook his head. "Listen, can we sit?"

"This is serious, isn't it?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, a tell that both DiNozzo men shared. "I don't want to make it any bigger than it is, but I've come to realize things aren't always as they appear and..."

Senior saved him from the verbal fumbling. "Is this about me being broke?"

Tony's eyes came up in surprise. "Yes."

Senior shrugged. "It's not a big deal. This has happened before."

"What?" He did not know that.

"When you were in your second year of boarding school I filed for bankruptcy. I'll bounce back, I always do."

A light went on for Tony. "I didn't get kicked out."

Senior had the decency to look sheepish. "No. I couldn't afford the tuition. That's why you spent part of that year and the summer with my brother in the Hamptons."

"And here I thought you were using any and every excuse not to spend time with me," Tony muttered.

"What?"

"Never mind." One thing at a time.

"But this is old news. You knew the last time I was here. That's why you volunteered to wait while I checked out." Tony tried to brush off the assumption and Senior folded his fingers together. "I appreciate you not saying anything at the time."

"I didn't know what to say Dad," he admitted.

Senior chuckled. "Your mother always said DiNozzo men don't communicate well."

"We used to," Tony remembered. "A long time ago." He sighed. "Sometimes I wish we could rewind to the last time we had a normal father-son relationship." It took a lot for him to admit that, but Mark's advice hung heavy in his mind.

"When was that?" His father seemed genuinely interested.

Tony smiled slightly. "It was a fishing trip just before Mom died. You probably don't remember." Senior moved to sit beside him and he tried not to care. "It's okay if you don't, I mean-"

Senior pulled a folded picture from his wallet of them on a boat holding up their fish. "I look at this every morning. It's one of my fondest memories too." He could see Tony was stunned and put an arm around his son's shoulders. "From now on we'll talk Anthony, I promise." There was no chance for a response as he stood suddenly. "Let's get out of here before we embarrass ourselves by crying." Thoughts of Amelia and their brief years as a family could do that to him very easily.

Tony forced a chuckle. "Yeah." Once outside the door he cleared his throat. "I could...drop you by the train station or -"

"No need," Senior interrupted. "I ran into an old acquaintance in the lobby this morning, so I'm flying home in style." He patted his son's back. "Don't worry about me Jun-uh, Anthony. I always land on my feet."

_Like the cat with nine lives_, Tony thought wryly, following him to the elevator. But he felt better about the man than he had in years and surely that had to mean something.

**NCIS**

"How did things go with your father after you left?" Ziva asked, bringing their plates to the table.

"Better than I expected," Tony admitted. "We actually...talked. Honestly. Probably for the first time since I was a kid."

She smiled. "That's good news." Her hand covered his. "I would like nothing better than to see you find the relationship with him that you both deserve."

"Thanks Zi."

Their meal passed in relative silence, which made it harder for Tony to bring up his request as dishes were set in the sink. He opened his mouth, then hesitated. "Do you...feel up to sharing intimacy with me tonight?" It was awkward and he hated that. Nothing should be awkward between them.

Ziva's eyes lowered. She still felt the sting of yesterday's events quite clearly. "I am the one who should be punished, not you."

Tony sighed. "I don't want to punish you Ziva. I'm not angry anymore. I know you weren't trying to slight me on purpose, I'm over it." Or at least, he was doing his best to get over it. He slid his fingers between hers. "Making love is like my touchstone, so I know we're okay. I would just...like that reassurance tonight."

She put her hands on his cheeks, looking at him like she had the night of their first fight over Jeanne, almost in tears as she rose up on her toes to kiss him. "We are okay Tony."

He took over her mouth then, the caress fervent and filled with relief, and passion built between the couple before they managed to take things to their room, slowly undressing once behind the closed door. Ziva sat on the bed in her underwear while Tony grabbed the lock from her dresser and placed it in her palm. It was so much apart of their foreplay, so routine now after nine months that he did it without thinking. She stared at the little symbol for a long moment, making him very antsy, and finally reached over to place it on the nightstand. He brushed his hands over her upper arms. "Hey, are you okay? Did you change your mind?" He'd be disappointed if that was the case, but some things she couldn't help.

Ziva shook her head. "No, I want to be with you ahava."

Tony frowned. "Then why...?"

She smiled. "I do not think I need it any more."

He gaped at her in shock and disbelief. "Really?"

Genuine joy filled her expression. "Really. I am okay now Tony. You do not have to worry about losing me."

The news brought a whole new element to the emotions in their room and he grabbed her in his arms, falling back on the bed and covering her with kisses. Ziva laughed and caught his bottom lip between hers, quickly turning from playful to persuasive, not that Tony ever had to be persuaded to accept an invitation for becoming one in every way. That night it was sweet and intense, apology and desire and delight all rolled into one, and afterwards he wouldn't let her go. His hold was gentle and a touch possessive as he cradled her in his arms, but things moved from relaxed to serious in an instant.

"Ziva," he breathed, "do you know how much I love you? Do you really know? I don't want there to be any question at all."

She shifted in his arms and nudged her leg between his, keeping their bodies in close contact as her palm settled on his cheek, wondering why he was so uncertain all of a sudden. The same subject had come up a week ago as well. Was it something she had done or said? That idea made her stomach tighten with stress because he was an amazing man and he deserved to have no doubts about this. "I know Tony, believe me. There is no question in my heart and all of it belongs to you. Ti amo tesoro, plus que tout."

He stroked her face. "Two languages in one sentence. My French is a little rusty babe."

Ziva held his hand in both of hers. "I love you, more than anything else."

Tony nodded. "Good. I just wanted you to be sure."

She tilted her head slightly. "And why did you need to be so sure I knew that tonight?"

Tony shrugged. "It just seemed important." That wasn't the whole truth and Ziva waited him out. He rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip absently as the words came tumbling out. "Did you cry when they-" He stopped abruptly at the shock in her eyes.

She moved away from him even as he sought to keep her close. "Why would you ask that Tony?" It was the last thing she wanted to think about after sharing her body with her husband.

"I didn't bring it up to hurt you." He reclaimed the space that had been lost between them and worked his fingers into her hair. "I was thinking about the little noises you make when we're together and how I never want to hear anything from you that means you're hurting. And then I couldn't stop my mind from remembering when you were. All the time. Every day. And I wasn't there to hold you or protect you or save you or make them stop." Tony's warm breath fanned over her face. "I'm sorry sweetheart."

Ziva closed her eyes, tremors rippling through her as the memories took hold. "I wish I could say no," she whispered. "I wish I could tell you that I was the strong soldier, silent in the face of their attacks. I could bear almost anything else ahava, but nothing is worse, nothing can break a person faster than having their body invaded against their will." The attempt at detachment didn't work and her voice hitched. "So the answer is yes, sometimes. When I felt more vulnerable than usual or when it was especially vicious."

She swallowed convulsively. "Other times I resolved not to open my eyes or change my expression or let them see any reaction at all. But there were days I cried and I screamed and I begged them to stop. And I was so ashamed of myself every time for giving them that satisfaction. They would...come in groups and...hold me down while they laughed at my pleas and did whatever they could to make it even more painful."

Tony held his breath when her words ran out, but he'd opened a dam now and the flood couldn't be stopped. When she curled into a tight ball he knew things were about to get worse. "I did not think I would ever heal...inside," she confessed in a hushed tone. "Bruised, torn, infected, bleeding - I read that part in my medical file one day when Ducky was not in Autopsy. In the beginning even walking was excruciating."

He wrapped himself around her, the only remedy he could think of to combat such dark memories. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because," her jaw clenched, "you did not need another reason to feel guilty."

Even after all this time she was still trying to protect him and Tony felt a surge of annoyance since that was supposed to be his job. But it was gone the next instant when he braved another question. He could only imagine it would be the last for a very long while. "Is there more?"

Her fingers gripped his arm without Ziva even realizing it. "The worst part was knowing it would happen again and again and again. And I was not strong enough not to react." She sighed and focused her gaze away from him. "The longer I was under their power, the less I was actually there. Everything is hazy after the second month. I know what happened, but I was seldom present for the attacks. My body was crippled by the torture and starvation near the end. I'm surprised I even recognized you and McGee. For all the clarity I was experiencing those days you could have just been a vivid delusion along with my mother, Tali, and Ari."

She was quiet for a minute. Months had passed since she'd given herself permission to remember these things and it wasn't easy going back. "I talked to them, when they appeared in my cell. Eli was always disappointed at the brokenness of his soldier, his weapon, his sharp end of the spear. Gibbs said nothing, but he looked at me with a thousand sorrows in his eyes. Aunt Nettie was the comforter and she never stayed long enough. But I could not allow myself to think of you ahava, to imagine you in that place and taint what was left of my memories."

"I wish I could stop thinking this stuff," Tony lamented, unable to say anything profound in the face of yet another glimpse into the hell of her captivity. "I don't want to always be bringing up your worst memories."

Ziva's brow furrowed. "Don't you see Tony? You saved me from them and I have not had a nightmare in weeks."

"I'll never forgive myself if this conversation brings another one on and takes you back to that place," he stated vehemently.

"You will have to," she whispered. "Because I will forgive you first." She touched his face. "I do not like to think about Somalia, about those men and what they did. The day I told you everything I hoped that would be the last for both of us. But it keeps coming up. I am learning life cannot always be separated into little boxes and the hurt contained, never to spill out again." Ziva brought her lips to his. "I know you will have questions, maybe even years from now. I could not have handled them in the beginning yakiri, but I can now. Do not be afraid to ask, even if it hurts both of us."

Tony's tears wet her cheek as he rested his face against hers and his throat grew tight. "I hope someday you won't know the answer sweetheart, because all remembrance of that place will have faded. My dream, my deepest hope for you is that there will come a day when you cannot recall that pain."

She swallowed and turned her face into his neck. "Each day with you will erase it a little more. I love you vita mia, I love you so very much."

He clung to her and in those precious moments deep in the night husband and wife wept together, tears and hearts mingling as they mourned the past and hoped beyond hope for a future that would be so much brighter.

**NCIS**

**Friday November 19**

With that unpleasant event behind them, Friday passed like a ray of sunshine. The lightness of baring their hearts to each other left both halves of the couple in tremendously good moods and they snuck a smile and silently mouthed 'I love you' whenever the other team members weren't paying attention. Because he could, Tony took his wife out for dinner that night and held her hand every chance he got. They brought Meira for a long walk after arriving home and cuddled on the couch for the length of _The Princess and The Marine_.

Finally it was time to get ready for bed and when she walked in their bedroom Ziva found a pair of incredibly soft, light blue and white cashmere pyjamas folded on her pillow. Looking back, she saw her husband leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed and wearing a half-grin. "What are these for?"

Tony walked over to hug her from behind. "There's been a lot more layers between us recently, I figured I'd better do something to help keep my ninja warm." He kissed her neck, his breath tickling the skin. "Plus, I think you'd look cute in them."

She vaguely remembered a conversation they'd shared with her aunt last year in which he made fun of her winter sleepwear choices, but the moment was altogether too sweet for her to mind and Ziva turned with the material cradled to her chest. "Thank you ahava. It is a very thoughtful gift."

He framed her face with his hands and claimed her lips. "You're welcome. Go try them on, see what you think."

For an unknown reason Ziva went to the bathroom to change and came back in her new pyjamas, arms spread out to the sides as she turned around in a circle. "Well?"

Tony smiled. "Perfect."

She hugged her arms around herself. "I love them." The softness was like a cloud wrapped over her skin and they were toasty warm from the minute she was dressed.

"In fact," he continued, "you look so adorable I think I won't be able to keep my hands off of you." Drawing closer, he ran his hands down her arms and up her sides, then grabbed her in a big bear hug. "Very cozy."

Ziva laughed and pushed him away, rolling her eyes. But as soon as they got into bed she gave her husband permission to remove the new pyjamas, if he felt so inclined. She could always put them back on later. Insisting he could warm her up better than any old sleepwear, Tony did just that. The cashmere set would have to wait for some other night.


	13. 8x8 Enemies Foreign 1

**Monday November 22**

Brent and CJ walked down the steps of the courthouse with Ryan between them, holding their hands. At the bottom Brent let out a breath. "I can't believe it was that easy."

"Believe it," CJ smiled. "I've got the pictures to prove it." She scrolled through the photos on her phone that a clerk had been happy to take when the judge signed Ryan's adoption papers less than half an hour ago.

Brent bent down in front of his son. "Hop on."

The boy grinned and got situated for a piggyback ride. "I wish we could've brought Cody. He's family too."

CJ chuckled. "He is monkey, but I think only helping dogs are allowed in public buildings."

"Oh." He thought for a moment. "Well, he helps me clean my room."

Brent bounced him a little. "Helps you make a mess, you mean. It looked like a tornado blew through there on Saturday."

"Da-ad." Ryan rolled his eyes. "We were just playing."

"Next time you're 'just playing' see if you can clear a path to the hamper so I don't risk my life when I go in to collect laundry," CJ teased.

They got back to the car and Brent set his son down. "What do you think buddy? Are you happy?"

Ryan shrugged. "I think the same as I did last time. And I'm always happy now, even with two parents to send me to my room."

Brent and CJ burst out laughing and Brent thought back almost exactly two months ago to when they sat down with him in the livingroom to discuss this change.

_He took a deep breath. "Ryan, I want to adopt you. Do you know what that means?"_

_His face screwed up. "Like when you and Uncle Tony and Uncle Mark and Uncle Zip and Uncle Red and Uncle Jordan promised to be brothers?"_

_Brent nodded. "Kind of like that. Only in this case I'm promising to be your dad."_

_Ryan frowned. "But we already promised at our wedding."_

_CJ smoothed his hair. "We promised each other Ry, but this time Brent will be promising a judge. It's for all the people who weren't at our wedding."_

"_We're a family now buddy," Brent explained, scooting closer, "adoption just means we make it legal that I'm your dad and you're my son, forever. And this way, everyone will know it." They didn't want to worry him by getting into the details of why it made sense, such as in case something happened to CJ Brent would be guaranteed custody._

_Ryan shrugged. "Okay. I like forever."_

_Brent hugged him. "Me too."_

He came back to the present when Ryan tugged on his sleeve. "Dad?"

Boy, did he ever love to hear that word! Brent smiled at him. "Yeah?"

"Can we go to Red Robin's for supper?"

Brent glanced at CJ. "You better ask Mom the health food nut."

Ryan turned pleading eyes on his mom. "Please?"

She rolled her eyes. "I guess burgers once in awhile aren't going to hurt anyone. Besides, your dad did say you could pick."

"Yes!" Ryan cheered. Then a thought occurred to him and his eyes went round. "Ooh...can I have a milkshake?"

Brent laced his fingers between CJ's. "It is a special occasion honey."

CJ made a face. "Both of you begging? Really?"

"Hey, we guys gotta stick together."

"Yeah Mom," Ryan seconded.

Her eyebrows jumped up. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm the only girl in this family. I'm feeling severely outnumbered."

Ryan pursed his lips. "We could get you a girl hamster." After seeing Wes's teddy bear hamster he'd been after them for one of his own. But both parents thought a golden retriever and an eight year old were quite enough to keep track of.

"Nice try monkey," CJ shook her head and gave in. "Fine. We can all get milkshakes."

"Alright!" Ryan jumped in the car. "Best. Day. Ever!"

Brent kissed his wife and leaned his forehead on hers. "He's eight. There's going to be a lot of best days."

CJ curled her fingers around his collar and touched her lips to his. "No, he's right. This is the best day ever."

From inside the car Ryan groaned. "Can you guys kiss later?"

"Keep it up and we'll practice in front of you more often," Brent warned jokingly. He sighed. "We better go before he starves to death."

"Can't have that."

Brent held CJ's door and got in the front seat. "Everybody ready?"

"I am," CJ smiled.

"Me too," Ryan added eagerly.

"Me three," Brent concurred. As far as he was concerned this was just the start of a lifelong adventure.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday November 23**

It wasn't quite undercover work, there were no aliases or acting involved, but the members of Team Gibbs were still on a very important mission. Walking down the street wearing headphones and carrying what could be a phone or MP3 player, Ziva's task was to use a new piece of technology that scanned credit cards without even touching a person's wallet and hopefully find a match to one stolen yesterday.

"Who woulda thought?" Tony mused from the bench where he sat reading a newspaper and providing commentary. "A young girl goes out looking for a foolproof way to finance a shopping spree and ends up jacking the credit card number of a guy on the terrorist watch list. What're the odds?"

"Unfortunately higher than you might think," Ziva murmured, focused on the job at hand.

"Do you guys know when people walk by those signs that say 'Beware Pickpocket', they always tap where their wallet is - back pocket, chest, coat? Artistry."

She flipped her ponytail. "A would-be artisan went for my wallet once in Rome."

He glanced her direction. "How'd it turn out for the borseggiatore?" Being Italian he liked to drop the language in when he could.

Ziva smirked. "He ended up with a black eye and a broken wrist. I was fifteen. I believe he chose a new line of work after that day."

"No doubt." Tony shook his head. "A teenage girl stomping all over his pride probably laid the man real low. Although I do seem to recall that picking pockets is also in your bag of tricks."

Her expression was anything but reassuring. "If I were to pick your pocket Tony, you would never notice."

He shook out the paper and turned a page. "You never know Ms. David. I have very sensitive pockets."

"Is that a challenge?" she asked hopefully.

Before Tony had to come up with a work appropriate answer McGee interrupted them from the van. "Ziva, you need to get the device closer to their wallets, alright?" He paused. "You do realize a twenty-two year old girl had this mastered yesterday."

Her eyes narrowed and Tony cut in. "People mature much faster these days McGoo."

McGee snorted. "Yeah, present company excluded."

Tony chuckled. "If only you knew probie, if only you knew." Ziva sent him a sharp look and he gave her a 'what?' expression. _I didn't actually say anything._

She rolled her eyes and waved the device close to another person. This time it worked but McGee shook his head. "That's not the guy, keep going."

Ziva huffed. "We cannot really be sure that because this girl crossed paths with him here yesterday we will cross paths with him today."

"We also can't be sure that Gibbs will be swilling coffee when we get back to the office, or you'll fumble a simple American expression," she stuck her tongue out at him for that, "or that McGee will be dateless tonight, but people do tend to follow patterns."

"Patterns and predictability can get you killed Tony. A terrorist would know that."

"Wait, wait, we got a match," McGee exclaimed. "The last person you scanned Ziva."

Tony glanced at the crowd. "Which one?"

Ziva fixed her eyes on the target. "Turning right. Popped collar."

"Alley on 17th McGee." He put aside his newspaper to back her up. "Pull the van around. That's our terrorist."

Together Tony and Ziva followed the man at a discreet distance while McGee continued feeding them information. "Whoever this guy is he gets around. Card's been used everywhere from the Middle East to Latin America to the Caribbean."

They got almost to the end of the alley when Ziva rubbed her ear and said his name in a low voice. "Tony."

His eyebrows went up. "Ninja senses tingling?"

She nodded and pulled her gun, aiming behind her while Tony pointed his at their target, wondering how she knew they were being followed. "NCIS! Drop your weapon!" she yelled, facing the woman behind a dumpster who also held a gun, while the NCIS van pulled up to block any escape.

"Hands in the air!" Tony ordered the man with his back to them.

Ziva's next command came out forcefully with a space between each word. "Put it down!"

"Put down your weapon," the woman challenged.

They stared at each other, then she spoke in what Tony recognized as Hebrew. "_Malachi, I know this woman_."

Ziva's brow furrowed and she looked over her shoulder as the man slowly faced her. "Malachi?" Her gun lowered slightly.

"Shalom Ziva."

Tony winced. "Oh good, the Israelis are back."

McGee joined the group, introductions were made, and Tony repeated the newcomer's name. "Liat. It's kinda musical, right?"

The scathing gaze Ziva sent her husband that he didn't see only fueled the fire and Liat moved closer to him. "In Hebrew it means 'you are the one for me'."

He opened his mouth to speak but Ziva beat him to it, her tone full of disdain. "Liat is one of the most common names in Israel."

Tony heard the bite in his wife's words and inched in her direction. Liat played with a piece of hair. "Yes. And only the grandmothers are named Ziva."

This was like lighting the fuse on a piece of dynamite and hanging around to watch it explode. He pressed his fingers into her back, hoping to keep her from starting a fight. She was fuming and he felt the force of her glare without looking.

"So Malachi," McGee began, eager to ease the tension, "what brings you to town?"

"Vacation," Malachi lied smoothly. "We were in the area and Liat just had to see the cherry blossoms."

Ziva crossed her arms. "You are five months early. They do not bloom until April."

"Pity," he shrugged, unconcerned.

"Yeah," Tony added, "you might want to check your calender next time."

Tim studied Liat. "You must be the new Ziva." Ziva's eyes narrowed and he backtracked. "In Mossad. Your replacement."

Tony tried telepathically to tell him to shut up, but he didn't have Gibbs' powers. _You're not helping!_ he thought pointedly. By the look on her face he could tell she did not like idea of being replaced, even if she no longer wanted to be part of that life.

Malachi regarded her almost smugly. "Did you expect we would never move on after you left us?"

"You left me!" she spat and Tony shifted nervously, wishing he could drag her away from the volatile situation. But then Gibbs arrived with fortuitous timing, tried to intimidate Malachi, and sent them all back to NCIS...together.

Tony caught Ziva's arm and pulled her back into the elevator once the others got off. "Hey, at beseder?" _You okay?_

She crossed her arms. "Sababa." _Fantastic._

His brow furrowed. "You don't have to get sarcastic."

"How do you expect me to feel?" Ziva demanded. "I just..." She shook her head. "Lo zabash'ha."

"It is too my problem!" he insisted. "Yours, mine and ours, remember Zi? Remember?" he pressed when she remained silent.

His wife sighed. "Ani yoda'at." _I know_.

Tony slipped his hands into his pockets. "Want me to beat him up?"

A smile briefly touched her lips. "If anyone is going to get beaten up, I will do it."

He grinned. "I like a dangerous woman."

"Ata megochach." _You're ridiculous._

"Am not."

"Are too."

His hands cupped her cheeks. "Ani ohev atach."

Ziva leaned into him. "I can live with a little bit of ridiculous." Her breath tickled his neck. "Toda ata sheata."

Tony's brow furrowed as the translation escaped him. "What's that now?"

Her lips brushed over his once more. "Thanks for being you." Equilibrium re-established, the partners joined the rest of the group in the squadroom watching while Gibbs jogged upstairs to report this turn of events to Director Vance. Soon afterwards the two outsiders were quarantined in an empty conference room with McGee babysitting while Ziva focused intensely on something she was doing with her computer and Tony began an incident report but abandoned it moments later to study his wife's masked body language.

An hour passed before Ziva was called upon to play restroom escort to Liat, leaving Tony to speculate if it was some sort of distraction technique straight from the Mossad handbook. She was noticeably tense when they walked back through the bullpen on their way upstairs so he got up and followed only a few steps behind, snagging her arm before she went into the room to take her turn. Ziva's eyes were flashing and he almost moved back but she softened the look for him. His mouth opened, searching for something to say when he knew how much damage two competing women could do to each other with a few minutes of time alone. When nothing else came to mind he went with a smile.

"You look really nice today."

Ziva seemed almost disappointed and her gaze shuttered. "Thank you."

"No really," Tony insisted, edging into her space, "it's not just anyone that can get away with wearing white and manage it for a whole day without staining something." Her eyes were still sad. "I like when you wear white, it reminds me of the meaning of your name." That got him at least a glimmer of a smile. "And it makes your skin tone stand out." Tony traced her Star of David and thought seriously about kissing it, but wouldn't that look like a compromising position if they happened to be caught? He allowed himself to brush his knuckles down the side of her face, still not touching her any other way. "I love the colour of your skin Zi."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, he didn't know that she was trying to keep herself from falling into his arms and letting him shelter her from this storm. "What number is that?"

Tony made an exaggerated show of carefully checking all around them, then he leaned in and pressed his lips to her cheek very briefly. "Eight hundred and sixty-three."

Before she could even help it Ziva's fingers lifted to caress his jaw. "There are so many reasons why I love you ahava, but this is one of the most important. Thank you for always being by my side when I need you."

He squeezed her hand and let go, backing away slowly. The faked smile dropped off his face the second he turned around. Always was too strong of a word. He could count too many times in the last four years when she'd desperately needed him and he hadn't been there for her. But he'd be there now, whatever it took, for the rest of their lives. What they had was too precious to lose.

**NCIS**

Ziva was almost impressed by the way Gibbs divined the truth from Malachi and Liat's lack of information, but the news that they were an advance team ahead of the Palestinian assassins they'd been tracking brought only confusion. It seemed outside of Mossad's purview to come this far after terrorists, and out of character for Palestinian radicals to be so far from home.

"You're right." Liat did sound impressed. "They are assassins. And this is where their target will be."

Ziva's brow furrowed. "Who is their target?" she asked slowly. There was something about this that didn't make sense and it coiled in her stomach like the tingle she used to feel when someone had a gun trained on her.

A moment of silence reigned before Malachi broke the news. "Your father is coming. He'll be here in two days."

"My father has not stepped foot off Israeli soil in twelve years!" she retorted harshly, realizing her slip too late.

"We're not lying," Liat insisted.

"We've got three killers to find," Gibbs said from beside her, shifting attention off the news. "You get DiNozzo and McGee caught up. And stock up," he advised, opening the door, "it's gonna be a long night."

"I do not believe it," Ziva stated as soon as they were alone.

"Believe it or not he is coming," Malachi assured her. Left unsaid was the part about having to face him again, whether she was ready or not.

**NCIS**

Gibbs was walking down the street with both hands full of coffee orders when a dark SUV pulled up alongside him and a door was opened almost right in his face. "Officer Hadar," he greeted the other man, "you almost made me spill my coffee."

"Americans," Hadar scoffed, "you can never just say hello."

"How about 'Shalom'?" Gibbs suggested. "Hello and goodbye." He made to walk around the officer but Hadar's words had him turning back.

"And peace Agent Gibbs."

"Not a lot of that when you're around." So maybe he was just a tiny bit bitter at the guy who blew up his surrogate daughter's apartment and everything she owned to cover for a rogue Mossad operative. Like she hadn't already lost enough.

Hadar ignored the tone and the dig. "Do you have a minute to sit down with my director?" For some reason that didn't sound like he actually had a choice and his suspicion was immediately confirmed. "Please, come with me. He is waiting for you."

The sun had set by the time Gibbs was sitting across from Eli David at a small pub while Hadar stood watch and smoked a cigarette outside. Gibbs had no doubt that there were several other Mossad personnel stationed around the building who would be invisible to the naked eye. None of them would let Eli be so unprotected by a window if they had not made other arrangements.

"Tea and coffee," the Israeli man mused. "There was a time when this conversation would take place over something a bit more exciting."

Bourbon was starting to sound better every minute he had to be within three feet of Ziva's father without beating the man to death for his crimes. "I'm still on the clock. But no one's stopping you." He just wanted to get this over with, lingering was not in his schedule. Even so, his coffee would be long cold by the time he made it back to NCIS. Maybe he'd bill Eli for that too, along with pain and suffering and the year of hard work Ziva had put in to overcome what his orders had done to her.

"Drinking, along with several other vices, is now part of my past as well," Eli admitted.

Was he supposed to congratulate him for self-control? Gibbs wondered. _Fat chance_. That was one thing Eli had too much of, since he kept setting his kids up like pawns on a chessboard to be gunned down by the first agency or terrorist who caught them unawares. "You know what they say about a man with no vices."

"Yes. He has incredibly annoying virtues."

Everything about the man was annoying Gibbs right now but he forced himself to be calm and collected, never letting a hint of resentment or anger show in his expression or tone. "Which one brings you to town?"

"Loyalty," Eli shared. "I was summoned."

_Loyalty my foot_, Gibbs snorted silently. _True loyalty doesn't extend to decades old colleagues when you couldn't spare just a tiny bit for your own flesh and blood._

Eli paused when Hadar stepped in the room but no signal passed between the two to indicate a problem, so he continued. "Leon's review of the international case files. And his request for contributions from every NCIS director."

"Not every director," Gibbs butted in. Jenny was being left out as if she never existed at all and that made his blood boil. She may have made some mistakes in the La Grenouille case, but Jennifer Shepherd had been a good director. Everyone in power slipped up eventually, it was just a shame that her mistakes were the only thing anyone seemed to remember from her time at the top.

"No, not Jenny Shepherd." Eli said her name like he knew her, which made Gibbs want to hit him all the more. _You don't know anything!_ he wanted to shout. "She was truly responsible for bringing our organizations together." Eli looked away. "And for bringing my daughter into your life." Gibbs merely stared. _You don't get to claim her anymore Director. You lost that chance when you left her in the desert to die_. "But," he dismissed his previous words like a mist, "I am not here for her."

"For Ziva," Gibbs clarified.

"Yes."

"You're not here for Ziva. She has a name you know." Gibbs couldn't believe the arrogance of this man. How Ziva survived so many years under his thumb and still became the amazing woman she was he would never understand.

"I am aware. I gave it to her."

"Then why don't you use it?" Eli didn't trouble himself to answer and Gibbs cast his gaze out the window to keep from throttling his competition when it came to fatherhood. "Director Vance has a suite at the Fremont. He's got a system where he can video conference any agent who couldn't attend personally." He paused. "You didn't have to make the trip." _Or rather, you're fourteen months too late and she made it without you. You don't get to take credit for how she turned out any more._

Eli referenced the case in Amsterdam and the parties involved. "It may be necessary for me to defend myself."

"Need a lot of that." _Mainly from me. And possibly DiNozzo if he ever gets his hands on you without witnesses around._ Personally, Gibbs thought Tony might be able to take the former Mossad officer.

"The assassins," he clarified, possibly reading a few choice thoughts in the agent's eyes. "I am surprised, and not unimpressed, that they have made it this far. But I am not concerned. My people will ensure my safety."

"Nope," Gibbs contradicted, hating that he was obligated to make the offer, "already got three bodies on the slab thanks to the guys your people are after. You should've told us you were coming. But like it or not protecting you is my responsibility." _And trust me when I tell you that I don't like it. At all._

"A joint effort I think," Eli agreed. He always had to have the last word.

**NCIS**

Once Gibbs called and read them into protection detail and case solving now being a joint NCIS-Mossad venture the team was required to allow Malachi and Liat free movement through the squadroom, a courtesy that was getting to Ziva, though Tony thought he might be the only one really picking up on her subtle tells. Despite personal feelings they all paid close attention during the briefing about the assassins and at the end Tony couldn't help a little interjection.

"I don't care how smart their leader is. If he's serious about assassinating Eli he's gonna need something more than a pistol."

Ziva answered in monotone, sounding like she was reciting the fact as any school child would share their knowledge of the ABC's. "Tony, it is not about the size of the gun-"

Liat jumped in seamlessly. "It is about the will of the shooter." The look Ziva sent her counterpart had Tony poised for action. He was the only one allowed to finish the ninja's sentences without dire repercussions. She continued without caring what the other woman thought of her. "We will make sure they do not succeed. If necessary we will place ourselves in the line of fire."

Tony caught Ziva's gaze, thinking of how many times she'd done just that. He wondered if, as a young girl, that concept had been forcibly bred into her. And it hurt to picture her childhood lost, but he knew he had been left alive more than once because her instincts and training overrode the common sense of any rational person. _Thank you_, he tried to convey, though he wished she'd let him be the hero once in awhile. A single nod confirmed that his message had gotten through.

"Why isn't Secret Service or the State Department handling Director David's protection detail?" McGee inquired.

"The director does not want anyone to know he's coming," Malachi returned quickly.

Ziva's mouth opened and Tony wondered if she was about to blurt something about 'not even his family', but instead her comment was more case related as she pointed at the plasma. "How did they find out?"

When both Mossad officers had no response Tony's eyebrows rose. "You don't know."

Perhaps sensing his former teammate's hostility, Malachi ignored the observation and turned to her. "You should give him a chance Ziva. Sometimes people can surprise you."

That was her limit for tolerating their indifference. Ziva's eyes glittered dangerously. "Nothing about him will ever surprise me again," she spat, turning on her heel and stalking off.

Liat said something to Malachi in Hebrew, looking a little too smug about the reaction. Tony glared and pointed at her. "Mind your own business."

Without waiting for anyone's permission he went after his partner. Ten minutes later when he'd checked all the usual spots Tony was growing concerned. He wracked his brain for where she might've gone in her current state of mind and suddenly it occurred to him that she might be hiding instead of taking out her anger in an acceptable location. That idea led him down to the evidence garage, relatively quiet at this time of day, and in the far back corner cloaked in shadows Ziva sat on the floor, knees pulled up and face buried in her arms, her body shaking with sobs.

"Oh Ziva." The sound of his voice made her breath catch but they were safe here, away from where anyone might look, and she let the tears continue to come as he knelt before her and tried to figure out what he could possibly do. In the end he didn't have to decide because Ziva got up on her knees and slid her arms around his neck.

"That last time I heard anything about my-Eli, was when he sent Malachi to frame me so I could be dragged back to Israel and punished more. As if that summer was not punishment enough for all my sins."

It was an awkward position to be in so Tony twisted around and sat, pulling her into his lap. "If I even think his name I see red. I don't want you anywhere near that heartless creep."

Her head fell to his shoulder. "You may not have a choice."

Tony framed her face with his hands. "I know you're not ready Ziva, but if I have to pull the husband card to keep Eli away from you I will. Our secret doesn't matter as much as much as making sure he never gets within fifty feet of you ever again." His lips captured hers gently. "I will protect you from him this time honey, I promise. I won't fail again."

Ziva swallowed and closed her eyes. "No Tony. I need to handle this on my own." She fixed him with a pleading look. "Promise me you will not tell."

He frowned. "I can't do that. You don't actually expect me to stand by and watch while he tramples on your heart again or worse, right? Tell me that's not what you're asking."

She pushed away from him, escaping his hold and his care, so lost in the minefield of the way she felt about Eli that she didn't notice her husband was hurting because she was. "He is coming. You cannot protect me from that. We need to do our jobs Tony, like this was any other case."

Tony got to his feet, stabbing a finger towards the corner. "I just found you crying your eyes out because of this news and now you want me to pretend it's nothing?" He grabbed her arms. "Why are you pushing me away?"

Ziva fought against his grip. "Because," she managed, "if I don't I will never be strong enough to face him. Let me go, please. I have to do this my way."

In his utter shock at this turn of events, Tony's fingers accidentally loosened and she jerked away, running back the way they came. He stared after her and slumped against the wall. What the heck just happened? But he knew in the next instant he couldn't let her get away and chased her to the elevator. He was in the nick of time to slip his hand between the closing doors and without a pause grabbed his wife's face and kissed her - not passionately, but with a soul-deep love that crashed through her brittle walls and left her clinging to him, desperate for more proof that she was alive, that them had been worth every sacrifice she'd made.

She pulled back when the elevator dinged, stopping on the main floor, and slowly stepped out. The only thing that kept him from grabbing onto her was the love shining clearly in her eyes. Tony knew her destination and knew he had to let her go, but that didn't stop him from pulling out his phone and dialing the number for Ops. "Operation Central, this is Duke."

"Duke," he sighed, "Tony DiNozzo."

"What can I do for you?"

"I expect you'll see my wife in there very soon. Can you just...keep an eye on her tonight? Make sure she doesn't overdo it?"

"Something I should know about?"

Tony rubbed his forehead. "Let's just say she got some less than welcome news and has spent the afternoon dealing with a couple of people who would never make her favourites list."

"Fair enough," the other man nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

"Appreciate it," Tony said, closing the phone and resting his head against the cool metal wall. So far today was ten for ten when it came to worst surprises ever and best ways to ruin progress. And it was only going to continue tomorrow. Awesome.

**NCIS**

Ten minutes later Ziva stalked into Ops wearing workout clothes and headed straight for the heavy bag, her expression enough to discourage anyone planning to say hello. Duke watched from the far corner and blew out a breath. "Hey Craig," he told the guy he was training with, "give me a minute?"

Craig looked in the same direction and sighed with relief. "Good, a break. You're a slave driver man."

"Some things are hard to give up," he joked. "Now do twelve more of those. I'll be watching."

His client groaned and Duke strolled over to the woman intent on messing up her knuckles, grabbing her arm to spin her around. He narrowly missed an elbow to the side of his head and caught her wrists before she could try anything more serious. Ziva checked her movements, breathing hard though she'd only just begun. Duke held up one of her hands for inspection. "Care to tell me why you didn't bother wrapping these?"

She jerked away. "Do not be such a big brother." Ziva moved to face the punching bag again but he wasn't letting it go that easily. Picking a balled up wrap from the box, he began layering it around her hand. She put up with the ministration only because it was obviously either that or getting told to leave and went back to work as soon as he did the other hand and let go.

Checking on Craig from a distance, Duke decided he could afford another minute and grabbed the swinging bag to hold it steady for her. "I'm not gonna to let you stay 'til close Ziva."

Ziva jabbed at the bag, then spun around and kicked it viciously. "Did my husband call you?"

"That has nothing to do with my statement," Duke maintained, not giving anything away. "Forty minutes and you're out of here David, even if I have to haul you out myself."

Something wild darkened her eyes. "Try it."

"Don't push me," he ordered sternly. "I just got you healthy a few months ago. I'm not letting you ruin all our hard work in one night."

Whatever she spat at him was not in English and Duke wisely did not ask for a translation. Instead he left her to the stress relief but watched closely for the next three quarters of an hour, relieved when she packed up and left without a reminder. No matter what was going on, Duke hoped Tony would be waiting for her at home. Some things could only be touched by the person who knew you best and loved you anyways. That was one thing they had in common.

**NCIS**

By the time the conversation with Eli was over Gibbs was mad enough to spit nails. He gave up on going back to the office and retreated to his basement and boat, dialing a number as he clattered down the stairs. "Ziva's dad is here," he growled when she answered. "But do you think he even asked about her? No. Like he doesn't care at all. I don't know what gave that man the right to father children. What I wouldn't give for one more hour with Kelly and he's thrown the rest of his kid's life away as if it doesn't matter."

Celeste wished she was there, because a hand on his back or the comfort of sitting close on the couch would be so much better than this distance between them. "While he may have no idea what he's missing, you are taking care of the treasure he's lost. Don't lose sight of what you've gained because Eli can't think past himself."

Gibbs dropped onto a sawhorse and sighed, suddenly not even having the energy to reach for the bottle of bourbon on the top shelf of the workbench. "I want to keep him from hurting her again."

Celeste rubbed Lexie's soft head and was rewarded with a warm tongue flicked across her wrist. "Maybe you should start with giving her a hug and telling her you're not going anywhere. She probably needs that reassurance as much as you need the same from her. Last time Eli had the power to take her away from you. This time Ziva holds all the power, whether she realizes it or not."

He pulled his gun out of the holster and flicked the safety on and off. "I'm thinking about exercising my right to bear arms Les." But he'd gone the revenge route once and it hadn't taken away the pain.

"I know," she said softly. "What's best for her Jethro? You have to answer that question before you do anything else."

"Maybe I should go see her tonight. She could probably use some company."

"I'm sure she needs her father," Celeste agreed, nudging him in the right direction.

"Thanks." It was good to be reminded of the place he now held in her life regardless of the guy who'd just shown up. Gibbs heard the front door slam and sighed. "Gotta go. DiNozzo's here and he's ticked." He'd long ago learned to identify the members of his team from their first steps inside his house. He closed the phone on Celeste and waited, but instead of coming down Tony just stomped around on the first floor, pacing from the sounds of it. Gibbs finally got tired of waiting and took the stairs slowly, stopping at the doorway to the basement. His eyes followed the other man's long strides up and down the hallway and he cleared his throat.

"Something on your mind DiNozzo?"

His senior field agent spun around. "I don't want that pompous jerk anywhere near my partner!" he declared hotly. Staying to use the training gym for an hour after work to give Ziva some space hadn't helped anything, he was just as worked up now as he had been before the exercise.

Gibbs crossed his arms. "Awfully possessive of your partner all of a sudden, aren't you?"

Tony got in his face. "Are you telling me you don't care that the man who sent her to die will be in DC the day after tomorrow?"

Eli was here now but telling him wouldn't help the situation. "I didn't say that."

"You're not saying much of anything," Tony groused, changing his route to walk back and forth between the front door and the staircase.

Gibbs studied him for several seconds, though the scrutiny went unnoticed by the preoccupied agent until he was shocked by the next words to come out of his boss's mouth. "You in love with her DiNozzo?"

Tony started paying attention in a hurry and gaped at the older man, then closed his mouth and clenched his jaw, debating how much to reveal. At last he threw out his arms and gave in. "Yeah Boss, I love her, okay? But it doesn't make any difference because you have your rules and she's been burned too many times. So forget it." He rubbed the back of his neck and decided he would rather be at home. "We're not going to let him see her, are we?"

"That's up to Ziva." If she asked him to he'd make sure Eli never even caught a glimpse of her, regardless of what he had to say to Vance to ensure that happened.

"Wrong answer," Tony sighed, walking out and pulling the door shut behind him. Whatever came in the next few days, he prayed he'd handle it right. This was the time when a husband could not afford to make mistakes.

Gibbs stared at the door until his phone rang and he took the stairs down two at a time to reach it before voicemail picked up. He'd never been able to figure out how to work that part. "Yeah, Gibbs."

"I thought maybe you could use a listening ear after talking to Tony."

His brow creased. "You a mind reader now Les?"

Her lips curved up. "Well that would be a useful talent for the best friend of a...what did he call you again?"

"Functional mute."

"Man of few words," Celeste modified. "It sounds a bit more charitable."

"Am I wrong?"

The silence on the other end of the line was telling. "About what?" she asked cautiously.

"The rules."

"All of them, or-"

"Twelve," he inserted bluntly.

"That depends," Celeste began. "Did you make that rule to protect them or because you were angry and hurt?" He didn't want to go there and she gave him an out. "Don't answer me now Jethro, just think about it, please? I would hate to see your team robbed of the chance to find happiness because you're afraid."

Gibbs glared at the phone. "Fine line Les."

She smiled. "That's why I lecture you when I'm in California and you're in DC. Now you have three days to think about if you want to talk to me again."

He sighed. "Not going to shun you over this." He needed her too much for that.

"Good to know, but I still think it's time I said goodnight. Sleep well Jethro."

That hadn't happened in almost two decades but she didn't need to know that. "Sweet dreams Les." For a moment he nearly called her 'honey' and swallowed the endearment, almost choking on the significance. He was not going there. Hurting her once had been more than enough. He didn't want to give himself the opportunity to do it again. A sigh cut off that line of thinking and he dragged a hand down his face. He was fast talking himself out of the things he'd begun hoping for after their conversation a couple weeks ago, but retreating from what was probably his last chance to build something with his ex-wife wasn't going to get them anywhere either.

Choosing not to dwell on Celeste's question for now, he hit a speed dial number and waited. She answered faster than he expected. "Hello Gibbs."

Ziva sounded very tired and he frowned. "Want some company Ziver?"

She rubbed the space between her eyebrows. "I do not think I can handle any more people today Abba." The word felt slightly bitter on her tongue. "Tony has been hovering."

Gibbs sighed. Somehow that didn't surprise him. "Yeah, he was just over here pitching a fit." He waited a beat. "DiNozzo staying with you tonight?"

"Even if he was," Ziva countered gently, "that would be none of your concern."

"Wouldn't it?" he pressed, her insistence to lead her own life regardless of his rules a bit unsettling. Gibbs wasn't sure he could admit to being a little proud of her for standing up to him.

"Tony is my best friend. Who would you want by your side after a difficult day?"

_Celeste_. His brain completed the thought before he gave himself permission to think her name and he made a face. Since when did his kids get to interrogate him? "Be careful," Gibbs said instead. "Don't do anything tonight that you might regret in the morning."

"Is this the part where I promise to practice safe sex?" she teased.

He had no words for that and didn't let her bait him. "You need anything, you call."

"I will."

Silence filled the line, then, "Are you going to be okay seeing Eli again?"

"I do not have a choice." Tony's car pulled in the drive and she rolled over in bed, not sure about facing him. "Goodnight Gibbs."

"Goodnight kid." He hung up and stared at the phone. Eli David brought nothing but trouble and left only disaster in his wake. He only hoped they'd have as much luck cleaning up the mess now as they did last time. There wasn't much more of her left to steal.

**NCIS**

Despite her concern, he didn't come straight to their room. Instead she listened as he knelt to greet Meira, helped her find her bunny, and gave her a treat. That would be her third tonight but their dog was smart enough to act like it was the first one. "Good girl," Tony whispered. "Sleep well, okay?" From the sound of his steps she thought he might come to her now but whether he was just allowing her time or wasn't sure what he'd find, Tony skirted around the kitchen table and into the bathroom, undressing there if the rustle of his dress shirt and the clink of a belt buckle were any indication. She heard the water run, knew he was brushing his teeth, though he probably saved the funny faces with foaming toothpaste for use when she was with him. A quick response to the call of nature and the flicking off of the light followed, then his familiar footsteps and he pulled back the covers, the bed dipping as he climbed in.

She kept her eyes closed to feign sleep but that didn't deter him as he moved close and kissed her shoulder, her neck, her cheek while his fingers slid the strap of her negligee down. Far from reciprocating, she shrugged off his touch. "Not tonight Tony, I'm tired." The lie tasted sour but she was not in the mood.

He propped himself up and studied her body language. "I don't buy that."

Ziva moved to face him and frowned. "Why? Because I seldom refuse to meet your needs? Well I'm sorry, but-"

Her comment stung and Tony had to close his eyes and wait for the ripple of pain to pass. They'd talk about that later. Taking a breath, he met her indignant gaze. "Sweetheart where did you get this unfortunate impression that sex is only for me? Why can't I want sex to make it all about you?" Ziva's mouth opened slightly and he took advantage of the opportunity to lean forward and kiss her. His thumb brushed over her hairline. "I know you're upset honey, but making love is not just about meeting a need, scratching an itch, or filling a desire. I want a way to comfort you, to salve these wounds so fresh on your soul. And I know when I had to deal with my dad the first time being with you was the only connection deep enough to touch that hurt. Please," he whispered, "let me be that for you tonight."

There were tears in her eyes when he finished his speech and Ziva mumbled an apology against his lips as she sank into all the love he had to offer.

_Replies: (apology for forgetting them last chapter)_

_UConn Fan (Coming Home) - Hi! So nice to see your name on a review! How have you been? I'm glad you were able to read something I posted, since I'm taking forever to get MIT Part 4 rolling. Thanks for the compliment :) I haven't watched either but, as you can see, I felt like there were many other ways her leaving could've been handled. I'm glad it seemed in-character, that's my goal. Sometimes I want Z back home right after T left Israel, sometimes I like to explore other ways it could've happened. I have yet another idea percolating now around the same topic, we'll see what becomes of it. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the story. Thanks so much for saying so, that's very sweet. I appreciate the review :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest (Ch 11) - It's nice to have opportunities now, that the bulk of Z's healing is passed, for her to be the strong and giving one for T, after how he's stood by her side over the last year. I like that, sweet but intense. I guess that's usually what I'm going for with the TZ relationship. Thanks so much for saying so, I'm glad you're enjoying it. Lots more chapters to come, I hope. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Kristen (Ch 11) - Oh my goodness, you read the whole series in 2 weeks? Yikes, that's a lot of words! But thank you. I'm glad you think so. Haha...well, there's a lot more story to tell between now and the end of S9. We've got the rest of S8 including dealing with Z's dad. The in-between seasons dealing with T's assignment after the EJ fiasco. And then all of S9. I think it's going to be a good story though, and we get to keep the mystery a bit longer. It's nice to hear you enjoyed the series, thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest (Ch 12) - you're welcome. That nice to hear :) I'm really glad people are still enjoying the story, sometimes I wonder what everyone is thinking. I appreciate you taking time to review. Thank you ~Aliyah_

_Kristen (Ch 12) - haha...when their marriage comes out, Senior will not be the first to know. And there's even an opportunity for him to tell his dad in Part 5, but he just doesn't trust the man. No surprise there. Senior's got a lot to make up for, but at least this time he'll have the chance to make things right. Thanks for reviewing! :)_


	14. 8x8Enemies Foreign8x9Enemies Domestic 2

_A/N: I mixed up the order of the last chapter, in case anyone's paying attention to the details. Part of the chapter was accidentally tagged Tuesday November 23, but the entire thing takes place on Monday instead. Also, Ryan's adoption scene should've gone before Gibbs' meeting with Eli, not at the beginning. My apologies. Sorry for any confusion. Please let me know what you think! ~Aliyah_

**Tuesday November 23**

He was playing with her hair when she woke in the morning and Tony cleared his throat. "About what you said...and I'm afraid to know the answer, but is that really how you see sex now, just meeting my needs?" That would take all the joy out of it for him if she did.

Ziva cupped his cheek and shook her head, seeing the echo of her words in his eyes. "No ahava. And I am sorry I used my anger at my father...at Eli to hurt you. I find so much comfort and delight and pleasure out of being intimate with you. Sometimes, yes, I want to focus on you alone. And sometimes I do not care if I 'get there' or not because I long for that bond with you more than the release I could find. But please try to forget what I said. Making love Tony, it is always about us."

The hesitancy in his caress told Ziva that continual confirmation of this truth would be needed for some time. Her husband's confidence had taken a hit because of what she'd said and it was up to her to make him disbelieve that statement and initiate being together until he recovered. Bringing hurt was far too easy and healing it so much more difficult, but Tony deserved everything she had to give. She was convinced that no man had ever loved as tenderly as the one now in her arms and kissed him, hoping to convey that fact clearly. His response, slow and earnest as if he savoured every second, made her deepen it, seeking his forgiveness through the joining of their hearts and lips.

Reluctantly ending the moment, Ziva sighed and ran her fingers up his arm. "I do not want to go into work today."

Tony traced the chain on her Star of David and bent his head, pressing his lips to the smooth metal and continuing a leisurely path up her neck. "I know the feeling."

Her mouth fought the beginnings of a smirk. "Not just for what we could spend time doing in bed, as enjoyable and distracting as that might be."

He got serious in a heartbeat. "I know honey. And I wish I could wrap you up and shelter you from everything that's going down right now, but we don't have the luxury of being selfish in our line of work. There are innocent-" his brow creased, "well, maybe not entirely innocent people to protect and others that really don't deserve protecting, but we took an oath so they get it anyways." Tony slowly folded his fingers between hers. "What can I do for you?"

Ziva's palm found the side of his face and he leaned into her touch. "Neshama, you are doing it already."

Tony's heart was easily melted when it came to his wife and that statement led to more kissing, an act which served for fortify them for all that lay ahead as soon as they stepped foot out their front door. As much as the couple wanted to, this was no time to hide.

**NCIS**

At the hotel Gibbs and Leon discussed the current case, the threat, and their foreign guest while a former agent took charge of the session temporarily. "We've got to find the Palestinians first. And we need to get on Eli's protection detail." He sighed. "I know he's gonna make it miserable for us."

"Got McGee babysitting him in the safe house," Gibbs offered. "We're running drills to secure the hotel."

"Good." Vance continued staring straight ahead. "How's our own David handling it?"

Gibbs felt like glaring at his boss. "Her father left her to die in a desert."

Leon turned to him. "So it's a problem."

He'd seen the way Ziva carried herself when she walked into the office this morning and the concerned glances Tony shot her until she snapped at him to keep his eyes to himself. "Yeah, it's a problem."

There was, however, not a trace of anything other than calculating analysis in the demeanor of the dark-haired Israeli woman who stood beside her replacement and pointed out different ways Eli David could be at risk at the hotel. "A sniper across the street would have a shot into any room on this side."

Liat looked behind her. "Chemical agent could be disseminated through the air ducts, take out a whole floor."

Ziva studied the building and made a hand gesture to match her words. "Could spiral down from the roof." She sighed. "There are too many access points to cover."

The women moved off together while Malachi and Tony watched from several feet away. "Nobody protects you quite like a trained killer," he observed. Not that he really wanted his wife to fall back into old habits or anything, but it was quite impressive watching her in Mossad mode.

"They certainly know all the moves," Malachi agreed.

"How long have you and Liat been together?" Tony asked conversationally, doing his best to be civil when he'd rather have it out with the guy who let Ziva go off by herself on an at-any-cost mission. "As partners," he clarified when he realized what it sounded like. "Are you her first?"

"She is young," Malachi acknowledged. "What she lacks in experience she makes up for with a passion unlike I have ever seen."

Something in his voice changed and Tony's eyebrows rose. "Am I sensing something between the two of you?" Not that Mossad would ever divulge confidences, but he could try.

"Nothing serious," the other man said with finality, though Tony could well imagine by what he'd gleaned from Ziva that being partners meant under the covers as well as on the streets.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the building, Ziva was calmly venting her opinion to Liat. "Given...Eli's many enemies we would have been better served with advance notice."

"Do you include yourself?" Thinking that was obvious Ziva opened her mouth, but Liat got more specific before she could speak. "Among his enemies I mean." She faced her competition as the other woman continued. "I'm doing a threat assessment. I wonder if protecting his life is an appropriate assignment for you."

Ziva wondered the same thing, however, despite personal connections,her training and skills made her the best choice. "Let us find out," she challenged. "We will walk the garage approach. I will play the director; you will try to kill me." Liat, almost too pleased with the suggestion, barely nodded.

When Gibbs arrived Ziva briefed him on the decision. "Out front is far too visible. We are assessing feasibility of a subterranean entrance."

He wasn't as interested in their security methods as he was in her state of mind. "How you holding up Ziver?"

She carried on as if he hadn't spoken. "The corridor is primary, service entrance secondary."

"I'm not gonna let it go."

Ziva drew a deep breath as if preparing to argue with him but her response was still case related. "It is the best way to predict all possible attack angles." She was in her element and it made him proud, if a little nervous, to be seeing this side of her again.

"Okay."

She rolled her eyes, knowing the acquiescence was only temporary. "I will be standing in for my fa-" She cleared her throat, wondering why she had to keep reminding herself that he no longer bore that title. "For Eli. Tony, Malachi and Liat are the assassins." Ziva felt no need to inform her boss that Tony had demanded a payment of kisses if he managed to elude capture or take her out. She, on the other hand, was planning a more elaborate prize when she won the bet.

"I guess that makes me the body guard." Gibbs accepted a fake laser gun. "Follow me Director."

They'd only gone a few steps before she began pointing out problems. "We do not like that area because of the vulnerability at the apex." A quick scan gave her the first target. "West side, last car on the left."

Tony sprang up wearing a ski mask but was shot by Gibbs before he could sight his gun. "Aw, come on."

Ziva suppressed a smirk. She would be collecting from him later. The man did give fabulous massages. She pressed on after Gibbs. "There are different techniques for protecting a young man and an older man. I would imagine he would move more slowly than he once did."

Gibbs wondered if she knew she was talking about Eli like she hadn't just seen him in good working order last year. While she looked down at the floor he aimed his weapon and got Malachi in the forehead. "Convertible." Not very impressive for a trained assassin. He'd expected more originality.

"One more shooter left," came Ziva's running commentary. They were both cautious as they moved towards the stairs that were their exit and she blurted out, "Truck," with some urgency. Gibbs covered her from that direction but Ziva didn't wait for him and he turned quickly at the sound of a door opening.

"A three man team is one thing," Liat informed them, coming slowly down the steps with hands raised in surrender. "But we should not be so naive as to assume it means only three guns." Gibbs' laser was focused on her heart. "I'm dead." She clicked the button on a remote and no less than eight red lines covered Ziva's chest. "But so are you."

Her surprise as she looked down at the X that marked the spot was unexpected, as was their losing of the game. Gibbs stared at Liat._ So, you must be the new kid determined to prove yourself worth more than the one you replaced. Hate to break it to you Ms. Tuvia, but this one? She's irreplaceable. And Eli David is never going to know what he gave up._

**NCIS**

Back at NCIS Ziva paced across the copy room. "I cannot believe she beat me! Ezeh bassa!"

The expression of disappointment made him wish she'd slow down long enough for a hug. "Cut yourself some slack honey, you've been out of the game for awhile."

She whirled around and threw up her hands. "That is not a good excuse! I spent ten years of my life training for this Tony, why did I not think of a trap? Why did I not see it?"

"Lo nora," Tony offered. _It's not terrible_. "At least you guys weren't using real guns."

Ziva crossed her arms. "You are not helping," she muttered.

He couldn't help noticing that her use of contractions had disappeared after several hours in the company of their Israeli cohorts and hoped it wasn't a permanent change. There was only so much regression he could take. "Ani botakhat bakh." _I trust you_. "I trust your judgement Zi. Now you need to trust it. Ein alaich." _You're the best._

"Liat...may be better than me," Ziva was forced to admit, falling back against the counter.

"Im le'savta hayu galgalim," he countered. _Not likely. Lit. If Grandma had wheels. Hebrew version of If pigs had wings, I guess._

That made her laugh. "I am not sure if this is quite the right time to use that phrase, but you get points for trying."

"I'd rather get kisses for trying. I've been saving that one, you know." Along with another sentence he'd found online. He'd have to ask Nettie how to say it right. If nothing else it would make her laugh.

Ziva stepped into his space, letting his arms surround her, and cupped his face to place a chaste kiss on his lips. "Thank you."

"You're always going to be my superhero babe. Forget about them."

Her brow creased. "Perhaps I should take some extra sessions with Duke, sharpen the skills I have forgotten." Though even Duke's training regimen couldn't compete with the intensity of Mossad. She'd never be quite that good again and it was a difficult fact to accept.

Tony winced. "I'd rather you didn't."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm getting used to not having to disarm you every time I want to be close. Start hanging out with Mr. Special Ops again and I'll be fearing for my life even from across the room."

"Tony," she admonished, "I would not practice on you. Much," she amended a moment later, laughing at his stricken expression. She wasn't quite ready yet to give up the notion of extra training. There were many things her duties at NCIS did not prepare her for and she wanted to be ready for anything her team might need.

"Very reassuring sweetheart." He stole another kiss and sighed. "We better get back."

They took separate routes to avoid suspicion and Tony arrived in the bullpen just at the right time to intercept McGee. "Home safe from the safe house I see." He took a closer look at the paper bag. "Ooh, with sandwiches."

"I've had a very educational morning," McGee shared.

"That's good. But you missed all the excitement. Liat killed Gibbs and Ziva. Mmm, meatballs."

"We killed you first Tony," Ziva shot back, a promise in her eyes to collect her winnings at the earliest convenience. He nodded slightly and resigned himself to spoiling her without any physical enjoyment to follow. Not that he didn't love pampering his wife, but the terms of the agreement meant he couldn't even hint at anything else. Way to ruin all his fun. He should've known better than to wager with the ninja.

He wanted to reach out and smooth the collar on her blouse or tug her tightly braided ponytail but had to refrain because of McGee. "I've seen it a million times." She leaned back in her chair as if doubting he had anything good to say. "The pretty popular girl gets jealous when the bright new transfer comes in and steals the spotlight. But don't worry," Tony grinned, "we still like you best."

Gibbs strode in, took advantage of Tony's focus on Ziva to snag the food, grabbed a sandwich, and tossed the bag to an unexpecting McGee. "What'd Eli David have to say?"

"Not a whole lot. But I did learn something." Tim forewent lunch to update his boss. "It turns out that before becoming Eli's personal cleaner and right hand man, Officer Amit Hadar infiltrated the PRF. He thinks they're going to go for the firepower before they take their shot."

"That's a good theory," Gibbs said around a mouthful of sandwich.

"The Palestinians' last known location was a thousand miles south of DC. Every major and minor airport in between has their photos posted and I've got alerts at the train stations and bus stations. Local LEOs up and down the coast are aware, and all hardware shipments commercial or military are being flagged. I have, uh, hung a net." He seemed pretty pleased with himself and was clearly expecting a 'good job' or something along that line from Gibbs.

Instead Ziva's idiom translator broke down and her brow furrowed. "I do not know who Annette is or why you are so proud of killing her." She was clearly confused and Tony grinned while McGee tried to explain.

"No, what I mean is that if they make a move we're going to know about it."

A phone rang and Tony answered it. "DiNozzo." He listened. "Alright, send the manifest. We're on our way." He looked at the others. "Transport truck just got hijacked near Fort A.P. Hill. Army contractor."

"Well, see?" McGee pointed out. "We know about it."

Gibbs was already moving up the stairs to update Director Vance but that didn't stop activity in the bullpen as the investigation ran full speed ahead and the team learned quickly just how much weaponry their adversaries had acquired. Then Tony found the car used in the hijacking and it became Abby's department to tell them everything that could be learned from it.

**NCIS**

Tony found Ziva leaning against the wall in the alcove, picking at a loose thread on her jeans. They'd been expecting her to return promptly with a forensic's overview from Abby and the delay made him worry. He joined her. "Hey."

She sighed. "Abby thinks I should see my...father, talk to him. Can you believe that? Does she not...remember the state in which I returned? Why would she even think-"

Tony caught her waving hand and folded his fingers between hers. "Abby has a lot of unresolved Daddy issues. I don't know that story, but I can imagine it must've been pretty bad the way she works so hard for redemption in the lives of everyone else who doesn't get along with their fathers." He caressed the back of her hand. "I don't think she meant to hurt you."

"No," Ziva agreed. "She was very much in earnest, quite sincere. But she has no idea what...that man...how he has..." She shook her head. "And I do not have the heart to tell her."

"Despite her line of work, style of dress, and experience with the world, there's still a lot of her that is completely naive and innocent." Tony sighed. "I guess we've gone out of our way to keep her like that whenever we can."

"Tim is much the same," Ziva noted. "For all his intelligence, when it comes to dark side of people there are things that never even cross his mind. And I am glad. Do not underestimate innocence Tony. You and I no longer have that ability, but our teammates do. I cannot fault them for that."

"I really want to hug you right now," he said in a low voice.

She smiled a bit sadly. "I know. But we have a job to do. I am thankful you are here. Some days that is all I can ask or hope for." Letting go slowly, she preceded him down the hallway and repeated to Gibbs and McGee everything Abby shared. And because she was trying so hard to keep from feeling, afraid the emotions would literally drown her when they came, Ziva did not once glance in her husband's direction. Thus far he had proven to be her greatest weakness.

**NCIS**

"Hiding him does not make him safe." Hadar seemed determined to argue with everything they'd done so far when Gibbs stopped by to check on things. "These assassins, they prey on human error."

"You ever make any of those Eli?" True to form the man ignored his dig and went on about the precautions taken when he traveled in Israel and the East Coast weather. Nothing of significance, nothing about the daughter he'd nearly ruined. But eventually his line of conversation began to take on a purpose and in the hours that followed Gibbs arranged for a trap that could be sprung if El Masri and his colleagues took the bait.

Gibbs was thinking of his earlier words to Leon, the temptation to facilitate the demise of Eli David, when the man made an off-hand comment during their walking tour of DC. "You have a way of making my family disappear Agent Gibbs."

_No, you did that all by yourself_. "It's all about perspective."

In the surveillance van Hadar complained about the plan. "Well," McGee observed, "first rule of fishing - patience is everything."

"What would you know about fishing McMegabyte?" Tony joked through the earwigs.

"I was a Webelos Tony. Spending time outside was sort of a requirement." He continued scanning the monitors. "All units report in."

Someone who didn't trust Mossad officers to be left on their own had again paired up the two men and women who clearly had no love lost for each other, but they were all professional enough to get the job done without squabbling, especially when the stakes were so high. While Tony was spotting for Malachi who looked pretty comfortable wielding a sniper rifle, Ziva and Liat split up to cover more ground. A possible vehicle match spotted by their Israeli sent Liat for a walk to check it out.

"I've got to hand it to your father Ziva," McGee commented. "He has who knows how many guns trained on him right now and he's completely oblivious."

It took a decent amount of control not to scoff at the idiocy of his words. "No, he is aware." She fingered the scope she was using. "He is always aware of what he does. Not caring about the consequences is what makes him who he is."

Across the street on top of another building Tony heard so much more than what she said and looked at his wife, wishing he could've spared her this whole experience.

Liat cleared the car just in time for Malachi to spot one of the assassins. He seemed tense when proclaiming he didn't have a shot, as if worried for her safety, leading Tony to make an educated guess that the two were in fact more than just partners. Gibbs demanded a report on the two remaining men and Ziva found one, ordering their boss to take cover with her father. The first terrorist got four of Liat's bullets in his chest but only silence came from the other quarter. "Ziva, talk to me." He didn't like it when she broke contact.

In a classic ninja move she slid down the fire escape, hung off the ladder, kicked the man down, and dropped to the ground, pinning him against the wall. "You tell me where he is. Where is the third?" she demanded in a dangerous tone of voice. But he said nothing and Gibbs got to her before she could employ more persuasive tactics of questioning than just an empty threat.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday November 24**

Ziva was in Observation with Liat when they brought her father into the building so she did not actually see him in person until he walked off the elevator into the evidence garage with Leon and Hadar, and she had to steel herself against the onslaught of emotions that hit her like a cold slap of water. She held the door for her boss and he gave her a small smile and nod that she interpreted as support. Eli stopped behind her, almost as if he were a child playing a game and waiting for her acknowledgment, but Ziva did not turn around so he had to speak first.

"I understand you volunteered for this detail."

Her eyes were fixed on the car. "Yes, to protect my director." She faced him, hands clasped in front of her. "Who is Director Vance, in case there was any confusion."

"Oh." He hadn't been expecting that. The two stared at each other for only a few moments before he nodded slightly. "Alright, let's go."

His callous indifference tipped her over the edge and Ziva turned, aghast. "That is all you are going to say to me?"

Eli adjusted his glasses. "What is the point? I know this face. You made the same one when I told my brother he could not give you one of his foals." Her mouth fell open slightly. He was equating her suffering with a childhood dream that had been dashed for no good reason? How dare he? "Ziva," he continued evenly, "if you want to talk, we will talk. I'm not going to beg."

_You should_, she thought bitterly, moving towards the back of the car now. "Why not?" He didn't answer and it took everything she had not to act out the pain she'd imagined inflicting on him for his part in her torture. "You know, confronted with the prospect of your own death, another man-"

"A lesser man," Eli interjected.

Ziva slammed her hands on the trunk and her voice rose. "A human man would want to!"

He walked back around to where she stood. "Ziva, you are not dead," he said as if it made all his actions okay, "You are living your life, making your choices. If you choose to let me be part of your life I would welcome that with open arms. I am saddled with responsibilities that you could not possibly fathom. The safety of a nation when every one of our neighbours wants us dead. I don't have the luxury of allowing my feelings to dictate my actions."

She couldn't keep the tears out of her eyes or her voice. "You do not have any feelings."

He seemed offended and where did he get the right? Eli took off his glasses. "There was a time Ziva, when I was quite different. When my house was filled with the sound of children laughing. You and Ari and Tali. There was a time Ziva."

_That does not make what you have done right_. But Ziva couldn't get the words out as she watched him enter the car and one tear of the many she'd been holding back broke loose.

Hadar closed the door. "His heart is hidden for a reason."

She fought for control. _That man no longer has a heart_, she wanted to scream, but who would listen? The only person who cared was too far away and he could not save her this time. So she would never matter to Eli and perhaps that was for the best. In DC she had found a home and a family. Gibbs loved her enough to act like it, enough to tell her. Despite being kept at arm's length, Abby and McGee and Ducky made it clear in so many little ways how much they cared for her. And the frat gang had welcomed her like a long lost member. It was enough.

There was a broken little girl in her heart wearing ballet shoes and crying over a missed recital but she would have to learn not to crave validation she would never receive from the man who had fathered her. And someday this life she'd made for herself would eclipse everything that had been stolen. With that final thought bolstering her she got in the car and shut the door. Feelings could wait, right now there was only the mission. Today it was all that mattered.

**NCIS**

Even though it was a false alarm, finding the laundry van harbouring a remote weapon sent them to their contingency plan and Ziva was diverted to the back entrance. The emotions had disappeared and she was strictly professional as she led the way into the building through the service door. Her reflexes saved them all from a second remote weapon that proceeded to decimate the kitchen while they crawled to safety. Ziva yelled at Hadar to get the men to the safe house, not even sparing a moment's notice for the actual concern that might've been in her father's voice when she stayed behind.

Liat and Gibbs disarmed the gun and Ziva ran out in time to shoot El Masri as he aimed a grenade launcher at the limo. She got him twice in the back but he came up firing with both hands, a vest showing beneath his uniform. The bravado didn't last long with both she and her partner aiming to kill and seconds later he was on the ground, dark crimson blood pooling beneath his head. The sight reminded her of Saleem and Ari and for a moment Ziva thought she might throw up, but then they were following Tony back into the hotel to give a status report to all the NCIS personnel gathered for the conference.

She was almost amused by his out of breath description that they could hear from down the hall and knew it was mostly the adrenaline talking. That, and he tended to get nervous when facing a room full of powerful people. "There was a...threat. It has been assessed, confronted, and dealt with. In a fashion."

McCallister looked at him. "Son, we've all been behind the curtain. We know how it goes."

That calmed him down a bit. "Dead bad guy. The end."

"Okay then."

Ziva joined him but Gibbs hung back, trying to get Hadar on the comms. Her eyes stayed fixed on Gibbs when Tony stopped to study her. "You okay?"

"Fine." The word came out rather clipped and she hoped he'd get the hint that talking would have to wait until later.

No matter how many times he tried Gibbs couldn't raise anyone and Ziva's heart started pounding faster. After everything he'd done she shouldn't care. She shouldn't care at all. But he was her father and she did. "What happened?" she demanded.

Gibbs' only response was to stare at her and dread pooled in Ziva's stomach. All of a sudden she had a very bad feeling. The kind where people died. And for some reason that was a reality she wasn't ready to handle.

**NCIS**

It looked like a bomb had gone off in the safe house - debris everywhere, blood, a dead body. The Mossad officers were allowed a moment alone with their fallen countrymen after Director Vance was taken away by ambulance and before the others entered. Tony didn't miss the way Malachi touched Liat's arm and turned her away from Hadar's lifeless form, it was an unexpected tenderness considering what he knew of the man.

The two partners assessed the scene, then Liat turned on Ziva who was staring at the wall. "Our safe house in Tel Aviv is a concrete bunker one hundred feet below ground."

"Meaning this would not have happened there?" She was more daughter than agent in this moment. "Because there is never any violence in Israel."

Tony took his place by Ziva's side. "Ladies," he interjected quietly, hoping to stop them from drawing blood.

"Hadar is dead," Liat said, attacking Ziva for a tragedy beyond all of their control. "We were operating under NCIS protocol."

"Are you blaming me?" The incredulity in Ziva's voice warned of the dangerous ground on which she trod.

"Liat, focus," Malachi ordered. They could not be productive if they turned on each other.

"Three men walk into a room," Tony began. "One ends up in the morgue, one in the hospital. That only leaves one we can do anything about." He aimed his gaze at Liat as a caution.

"The blood trail leads to the back room," Ziva pointed out.

"First priority, type and match to confirm it belongs to Eli David." Tony glanced towards his wife as he said the last two words.

"But it has to be his or that of his kidnapper," Malachi interjected.

Ziva had no argument so Liat asked the question. "Why do you assume he was kidnapped?"

"Because it is the only option where my father is still alive." Ziva and Liat locked eyes and the message that passed between them seemed to shout that one of them did not have a right to their grief.

**NCIS**

By following the blood trail they determined that Eli was walking. A torn and bloodied piece of suit suggested the making of a tourniquet to deal with wounds. The group parted to look around and it was Liat who found the Hebrew word for house or home drawn in a scattering of sand. Although Tony continued babbling about things related to 'house', he was acutely aware of Ziva's stillness and followed her gaze to Liat. Something about when the woman suggested the Israeli Embassy caught her attention and he could see the wheels turning. She looked back at the word in the sand and took a deep breath, something he caught in his peripheral vision, like she'd made a decision.

Ziva interrupted his monologue. "My father needs medical attention. We should split up to cover each possibility."

That suggestion immediately drew Malachi and Liat's gazes together and for the first time it occurred to Tony that he and Ziva may not be the only partners in the world who could read each other's minds at a glance. "Okay," Liat agreed and the two walked away without so much as one look back.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

Ziva stared after the pair. "Tony, do you know what a golem is?"

Even though it was pronounced differently he couldn't help a movie reference. "Creepy schizophrenic creature from _Lord of the Rings_?"

"No, that's Gollum."

"Ah yes, you read the books."

She wasn't in the mood for a tangent. "A golem is a supernatural being from Jewish folklore. He was created from mud to protect the Jews. The mystics etched the word 'emet' into his forehead." Tony was feeling a little lost as to the connection but he tried to follow along. "When the monster's task was completed, the letter 'aleph' was scratched out, changing the word to 'met'." Well, he knew 'aleph' was the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet, but since he couldn't read or write Hebrew characters that didn't seem very useful. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" Ziva asked.

Tony hesitated, then nodded slowly as the meaning sank in. "Yeah. Liat pulled a golem. She erased a letter?" He was pretty proud of himself for catching on.

"Liat is an overachiever," Ziva explained. "She erased the entire word."

"Okay." He trotted after her as she started resolutely towards the street. "Are you going to tell me the rest of the secret?"

"You will see when we get there."

Quickly determining that keeping quiet would probably be to his best advantage, Tony held her hand while they walked. Ziva allowed only a brief smile, but he treasured it like a precious jewel. Because she asked him to and he trusted her, he waited outside the sanctuary of the temple while Ziva went in to confront the others. From the entrance they could hear Malachi whisper to Liat that he would check the shul, which was the cue for Ziva's entry.

"The second word was 'k'nesset'." She pointed at Liat. "The word you removed. My father was directing us to the nearest synagogue." She began walking towards the bimah at the front of the room. "Just one question: why did you not trust me?"

"You're not with us," Liat said simply. Which seemed to imply that she was against them.

Ziva looked around. "Abba, show yourself," she called. The word slipped out and she wanted to take it back because that title belonged to Gibbs now, but she was running on emotion not logic and the blurry lines were hard to separate.

"Are you an idiot?" Liat trailed her onto the bimah.

"We are not looking for the afikomen. He can hear us if we call him." From his place hovering in the doorway where he was slowly edging inside, on alert because of their tones, Tony frowned at the word he didn't know. He'd have to ask her about it later.

"Yes, but you don't know who else might hear." Though Liat did have a point, Ziva chose to ignore her.

"Abba!" she yelled.

"Stop," Liat ordered, grabbing Ziva's shoulder.

Tony came fully into the room at that point, hand on his gun as time held its breath and things seemed to move in slow motion. With that one move Liat set off his wife's inner ninja and she grabbed Liat's wrist, twisting her arm around behind her back. Liat countered by turning and grabbing Ziva's throat, hooking her foot around the other woman's ankle and dropping her to the floor. Not easily dissuaded, Ziva brought Liat down with her and both of them were back on their feet in moments, facing off in fighting stance.

The gloves, as well as Liat's scarf and Ziva's jacket, came off and he watched in mixed horror and fascination as she flung the coat at Liat and tackled her to the ground. It was hand to hand combat now, jabbing and blocking with forearms and elbows, two soldiers born of the same machine who, in the real world, would likely fight to the death. Liat headbutted Ziva and caught her off guard, driving her knee up into Ziva's stomach a few times.

His wife's grunts and groans set Tony on edge and he looked for an opening to jump in but they were moving too fast. Undeterred, Ziva came back at her with more of the forearm and elbow fighting before she kicked Liat, causing her to stumble back. He'd never watched a full on Mossad brawl, not counting the one he'd been a part of with Michael, and didn't realize they rarely went for punches. Except they knew all the same moves so it was a no win situation no matter how it ended.

Just as they were regrouping Eli's voice thundered behind them. "Stop this!" Ziva spun around like a child caught doing something she shouldn't, her expression giving Tony a glimpse of how she might've looked at twelve when he discovered her fighting the neighbourhood bully because of something the kid said about her sister. "What are you doing?" Eli demanded furiously, acting as a father breaking up a scrap between his children.

Ziva didn't respond but pointed at Eli. "He is coming with me."

Liat, like a younger sibling, had to contradict her. "He's not going anywhere."

"Liat," Eli admonished, "you do not answer for me."

Ziva stared at her father. "Hadar is dead. Director Vance is nearly so. Everyone has questions for you." The words, if not the tone, were completely accusing but Eli took them in stride.

"When you take me to NCIS you will have your answers."

While Eli gathered his things, Tony stepped forward and offered Ziva a hand down off the raised platform after she retrieved her coat. She was breathing hard and stressed out, he was amazed she was still keeping it together. He gave her a quick once over and wished they were in a more private location so he could check her out thoroughly, though the bruises, soreness, and stiffness probably wouldn't show up for a couple of hours.

"Are you okay?" Ziva nodded and Tony guessed he should be relieved not the hear 'fine', which was a lie they both knew. "That was some catfight between you two."

She crossed her arms and looked away. "Fuel for your fantasies Tony?"

He put his hand on her upper arm to draw her closer. "There's only one woman in my fantasies babe, and she certainly isn't as high strung as Liat."

"We were not trying to hurt each other," Ziva explained. "It was more to make a point."

Tony's knuckles brushed her cheek. "How far would you have taken it?"

She stared into space. "Hard to say." They were both full of fire, the fight could've lasted awhile if not for the interruption.

He settled his hands on her hips. "I don't get to see you in action very often Ninja. It was pretty intense. You've got the stuff."

Ziva pulled away. "We cannot be seen like this, not by them."

What she meant was not by him, Eli, and Tony understood, though he hated having to move back a step and tried to think of a way to lighten the mood. Reaching out, he tugged on her braided ponytail now coming loose. "What's with the hair Zi? You're not giving it any breathing room lately."

She shrugged flippantly. "Habit."

That was not very encouraging. There was a lot of habits from five years ago he didn't want her picking up again. "Talk to me honey, please." She glared at him for the use of an endearment and he sighed. So much for getting her to open up. The moment was lost the next second anyways because Eli returned, holding a suit jacket over his arm, his two officers falling in behind him. Without a word Ziva turned around and headed up the aisle, leaving Tony to bring up the rear. It was time to bring this whole mess to an end. After today they all deserved the truth about what in the world was going on.

_Reply:_

_Guest - you're welcome :) I've got the next few chapters mostly planned so hopefully I'll be able to keep to regular updates for awhile. Beautiful but intense, I like that, thanks :) T is built to be a rescuer, he does a good job. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_


	15. 8x9 Enemies Domestic 3

**Wednesday November 24 continued**

With Eli and Gibbs facing off in Interrogation 1 and all of them barred from being anywhere near Observation, the team and extras had to resort to more creative means of spying. Tech work, however, did not seem to be either Malachi or Ziva's forte, but luckily McGee saved the day by hacking the feed and they all crowded around his desk to watch the show. At first each person except the one whose desk it was stood, but as time passed they all began finding something to lean against or sit on. Tony got the short filing cabinet behind McGee's chair and beside Ziva, who preferred to stand. She grew pensive when Eli shared something personal he'd told a then-Agent Vance.

"My wife can no longer live with what I do. She took my family, my children, to ensure that they do not grow up to be like their father. This I cannot fight. I need a target."

Because all eyes were fixed on the computer screen, Tony risked sliding a hand up Ziva's lower back. She allowed the contact for only a few seconds before moving subtly and he filed it away as one more thing to talk about after all of this was over. Clearly the memory touched a nerve. It was then that Abby joined them and began going on about homemade Claymore mines which, as it turned out, a majority of people in that corner of the room knew how to build so the evidence wasn't exactly a smoking gun.

The tables turned on a dime and suddenly fingers were being pointed in all directions until Ducky walked by and sobered the mood by suggesting a hospital visit and blood donors. The reality of the situation hung heavy on all of them. Hadar was dead, Director Vance critical. Whether he was the target or Eli, whether it was Mossad or NCIS from whom the leak originated they all had a job to do and it would be a whole lot easier if they started acting like adults instead of children on a playground.

With Tony's suggestion that they try looking at the people who wrote NCIS history the picture began to get clearer and bit by bit the pieces started falling into place. And though another life was taken one was also saved and Gibbs and Director Vance took another step forward in the area of trust. That night the team was dismissed with the rare praise of, "Good work," from Gibbs and by the time Tony grabbed his coat and backpack and looked back towards Ziva's desk she'd disappeared. He frowned. "McGee, you see where Ziva went?"

McGee's head swivelled in that direction. "Nope." Tony dropped his things and Tim ventured some advice. "You might not want to be around her tonight. She was getting pretty tense the last couple hours."

Tony ground his teeth. "So, you think it's better to let her loose on the unsuspecting city of DC with that much pent up rage? Which one of us is going to explain to Gibbs why we had to bail her out of jail for whatever acts of violence she plans to commit?"

The probie paled. "I'll ping her cell."

"Thank you." He went and stood behind the other man's chair, figuring proximity couldn't hurt for hurrying the process along.

A minute later McGee swallowed. "Uh, she turned it off."

Tony raked his fingers through his hair. "Great."

"Did you try the shooting range?" he offered.

"I guess that's my next stop," Tony sighed. He should've known better than to take his eyes off of her. Ziva was trained to take advantage of distraction.

**NCIS**

It took him almost two hours to find her, checking every bar within decent walking distance of the Navy Yard before he finally clued into her headspace and knew where this state of mind would take her. Walking into the small comfortable bar was like stepping back in time a couple years. Funny, even though the Hoffman case had been extremely rough for Ziva and difficult for them as a couple, on occasion they still revisited the old stomping ground when a mood or event called for just such an atmosphere.

He hovered near the door long enough to scan the room and find, amidst all the other patrons, one lone woman sitting alone in a booth along the side wall. Considering her training it was disconcerting to watch the once tough as nails Mossad officer sip her drink and move the glass around in small circles on the table, never looking up or paying any attention to her surroundings. Heading for the bar, he smiled at the woman on duty.

"Hi Viv." She was a little more outgoing than Heidi and had served them on more than one visit.

"Agent DiNozzo." Vivien smiled and glanced towards the booth. "I hope you're the designated driver tonight."

Tony winced. "How many has she had?"

Vivien put away the glass she was drying. "Too many for someone who's only been here an hour and a half. But when I tried to tell her that I got a look that could kill and the demand that she never see an empty glass sitting in front of her."

He dragged a hand down his face and accepted the beer the bartender handed him. "What's she drinking?"

Vivien snorted. "What isn't she drinking? So far it's been two mojitos, three shots of tequila, and she's nursing a Long Island Iced Tea right now. Frankly, I'm amazed she's still upright."

"You'd be surprised how well my partner can hold her liquor." If he wasn't mistaken, however, they were in for a rough night. She hadn't had any hard alcohol in eighteen months and it was going to hit her like a truck. "I guess I better go try to talk her down."

"Must've been some tough case," Vivien commented. "I haven't seen her like that in a long time."

"No," Tony agreed quietly, "me either."

He edged his way through the Wednesday night crowd until he got within a couple feet of her table. "I knew you were there."

Her voice was calm but she was starting to slur her words. Tony forced a chuckle. "Can't fool those ninja skills even when they're swimming, huh?"

Ziva frowned at him. "We are not swimming. We are not even walking. Why are you spying on me?"

Tempted to answer with, 'Gee I wonder', he dropped onto the bench beside her and tapped his bottle against her glass. "Cheers Zi."

She took another sip of her drink and the couple sat in silence long enough for Tony to finish half his beer. When Ziva pushed herself up to go in search of the facilities the room started spinning and she gripped the table hard. "Oh." Apparently she'd seriously underestimated her abilities with alcohol after going dry for the last year and a half.

"I think that's our cue," he said softly and reluctantly Ziva nodded once.

It was a quiet ride home after their bill had been paid, but once in the house she seemed to have forgotten any adverse effects and began digging around in an unused cupboard for a bottle she was sure they'd tucked back there somewhere. To his surprise, one had survived his drinking binge after learning of her death. Watching her stumble in an attempt to stand Tony quickly confiscated the fifteen year old Scotch, caught off guard when she pushed it and a glass at him, also snagging one for herself. "If I am drunk you should be too."

The logic on that one escaped him but he wasn't going to let her be wasted alone. Absolutely certain this was going to return and bite them big time in the morning, he knocked back a couple of glasses just to get it over with and felt a buzz starting somewhere after the fourth. And even though he wasn't nearly as tipsy as Ziva, he was powerless to resist when she tugged on his shirt and they shuffled their way to the bedroom.

The sex they had that night was sloppy and messy and a bit clumsy but neither was in a position to care and they still fell asleep wrapped around each other. Hours later Tony held her hair back while she threw up over and over, emptying her attempt at self-induced alcohol poisoning into the toilet bowl. Though his own body was rebelling against the effects of the liquor, he pushed it aside to focus on his wife, getting her a cloth to wipe her mouth and a glass of water to rinse out the taste of sickness.

Finally she looked up at him with tear-stained eyes and he pushed some hair over her shoulder. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

Her face pinched and she sniffed, desperate not to break down over one who did not deserve the emotion. "Eli," she whispered painfully. There was more, much more packed into the brief confrontation with her father that Ziva would've shared with him, but she could not find the words.

Tony leaned his head against hers. "You never should've been alone with him honey, I'm sorry. I wanted to protect you from that creep." He preferred a stronger word than that but between the nausea he was trying hard to ignore and diminished cognitive skills following drinking it was the best he could come up with.

She trembled in his arms. "I wish now that I had let you." The admission was huge coming from the woman who'd fought so hard to get her independence back and he realized that letting her deal with things her own way may very well have been one of those husband mistakes he'd hoped to avoid.

There wasn't anything else to say after that. Once her stomach settled and he'd forced a couple glasses of water into her and himself, along with aspirin, they went back to bed and he watched from beside her as his wife cried herself to sleep covered in just a sheet, and hated her father for doing this to her.

**NCIS**

**Thursday November 25**

The couple stayed in bed until the last possible second in the morning, then showered together, commiserating about pounding headaches and the stabbing pain of light to their eyes. They each fixed their own version of a hangover remedy and made their way into work. Gibbs took one look at his agents and frowned loudly but Tony carefully moved his head from side to side, indicating that it was a subject best not opened here. Thankfully they got a couple hours' respite while loose ends were being tied up and Mossad's leader was carefully escorted to pay a last visit to Director Vance in the hospital before leaving the country.

"We want you to know that we're truly sorry about Hadar," McGee said as he and Tony walked the Israelis to the elevator early in the afternoon.

"Thank you," Malachi acknowledged.

"We know how it feels to lose a teammate," Tony shared without giving too much information. They probably already knew anyways.

"When your whole country could be wiped away any day, you don't take tomorrow for granted."

He absorbed Liat's statement, knowing all too personally what it was to have his whole world ripped away. He lived in dread of it happening again. "That's terrifying."

She smiled. "It was meant to be comforting."

At that moment Ziva materialized beside him, looking at Liat and Malachi. It took her a minute to decide what to say then she simply nodded, "Nisiya tova," and turned away. Tony left the officers to wait for their boss and followed her. Ziva stopped before the bullpen. "Malachi may become the next director of Mossad," she shared in a low voice. "My father has a lot of trust in him. He depends on him."

"Does that bother you?"

Ziva shrugged. "It does not matter. I do not belong there anymore."

She returned to her desk and only a minute later Eli walked over with one arm in a sling and set a mini Israeli flag in her pen holder. She looked up at him warily, hints of last night's crying jag rimming her eyes. He sighed. "There have been times I felt this job take a piece of me. I worry they may be gone forever."

Anger sparked through her dark irises and Ziva shot to her feet. She grabbed the flag and threw it on the floor. "They are!" she spat. "You are a man no longer, only a director. And you have lost your right to be a father."

Eli reached out to her. "Ziva."

She shook her head and backed away, blinking at tears. "No. I am done. You will not beg for my forgiveness and I will not beg for your love. Goodbye Eli. If there ever comes a day when your family is more important than your country, you know where to find me."

Eli walked away defeated and Ziva rushed to the bathroom to cry in private. She came back very sad and her eyes dropped to the flag on the floor. Very slowly she bent to pick it up. Smoothing the material over her palm, she stared at the familiar emblem and bit her lip. Finally Ziva put the flag in her top drawer and raised her gaze across the bullpen. Tony looked at her, his expression brimming with concern, but she shook her head, silently telegraphing _I don't want to talk about it. _He was desperate for the moment they went home so he could just hold her until things made sense again.

Only minutes later she rose and went to stand in front of their boss's desk. "Gibbs, I would like to take a personal day. I do not...think I will be good for anything here today."

Gibbs stood and motioned for her to follow him to the alcove where he caught her chin, studying the eyes trying to avoid his. "Thought I told you not to do anything you'd regret."

For a moment Ziva panicked, but she could feel the hair brushing her skin that had been left down to cover the mark Tony left on her neck. They did not need Gibbs deducing that she had indeed had sex with her partner. It was not something she had cause to regret. She shrugged. "That was not for yesterday."

He sighed. "Drinking isn't going to make it better."

"Is it going to make things worse?"

"You've still got a headache from the hangover," he pointed out. "You tell me."

Ziva's gaze shadowed. "I could not drink enough to forget." Well, technically Tony had interrupted her before she could get that far, but it probably wouldn't've worked anyways.

"Never been able to do that myself," he admitted.

She fell back against the wall. "What am I supposed to do now?"

Gibbs rubbed her arm. "Let him go Ziva." Her mouth opened but he pressed on. "I'm sure you thought you had until now. But somewhere inside you still hoped. That got broken yesterday and you need to let him go."

Ziva dissolved into tears and sagged against his chest. "I don't know how."

He ran a hand over her hair and pressed his lips to her temple. "I can't figure it out for you Ziver, that part's up to you. But I'll be here when you do."

Sad eyes sought his. "Are you saying this because you get me when his picture is gone?"

DiNozzo would tell her it was 'when he's out of the picture' but Gibbs didn't bother. "No kid, I'm saying it because that's what's best for you." He wiped away a tear. "But I take the job you gave me seriously. I'll be your dad Ziver, when you're ready."

She kissed his cheek and dashed away, snagging the bag by her desk and hurrying out before her teammates could say anything. Tony was staring forlornly at the elevator when Gibbs returned and he sighed. "It's Thanksgiving. Finish your reports, then get out here." As an afterthought he added. "Be at Ducky's for seven tonight or face the wrath of Abby." She'd made it quite clear that absences were unacceptable.

His announcement renewed the sense of energy in the room and within twenty minutes Tim set a folder on Gibbs' desk and grabbed his things, taking the back elevator downstairs to surprise his pigtailed best friend. At the ding she spun around and her eyes lit up. "He let you go?"

McGee grinned and spread his arms. "Free as a bird. As long as it's not a turkey. Because I'm pretty sure one is going to be on Ducky's table in about five hours and it will be dinner."

"Ducky said Jimmy and Breena were coming over to be his kitchen assistants." Abby already had her coat on and lunchbox in hand. "Maybe with your help I'll get my cousin's cranberry sauce right this year."

Setting his hand on the small of her back to guide her out, McGee flipped off the lights and closed the door. "I've had your cooking Abbs, you don't need my help."

"A second taste-tester always comes in handy," she insisted, giving him a tight side hug as soon as they were in the elevator. "Thanks for volunteering."

"What are friends for?" he asked, gazing at her fondly. For as well as they knew each other it was a shame neither of them realized that just being friends wasn't enough anymore. The problem was, for something to change one of them had to make a move and on their own neither Tim nor Abby was really very brave.

Up in the squadroom Tony was moving a whole lot slower when he added his report to the pile and his solemn expression forced Gibbs to speak up. "You going to check on Ziva?"

The senior field agent's eye strayed to his partner's desk. "I kinda doubt she'll want to see anyone." He was almost afraid of what he'd find when he went home.

Gibbs frowned. "You tell me how you feel the other night and now you're gonna wimp out?"

Tony stared at him. He should've known Gibbs would find a way to use that information against them. "I know you're not encouraging this."

"No," the other man confirmed. "But no one knows her better than you."

So where did that leave them? "Even if she lets me in, Ziva's not going to come tonight. She'll see today as weakness and she won't want it on display for the others."

Gibbs thought about it for a minute. "I'll handle Abby," he said at last. "Don't like the idea of Ziva alone with all this in her head. Go."

Tony's eyebrows rose. "That an order Boss?"

"Can be," he acknowledged. "Stay with her. Try to get her out of that headspace. I don't want to see another Hoffman backlash."

"Can't promise anything," Tony pointed out. "But we could always give _An Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving_ a try, maybe followed up with _By the Light of the Silvery Moon_." He mused over the choices, hoping beyond hope that they could somehow salvage this shipwreck of a day with a nice peaceful evening wrapped up on the couch together. "And it is her first as an American. Think I should take pie?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Scram." He didn't even want to think about what Celeste would say when he told her he actually sent Tony over to Ziva's place. So much for not encouraging him. Kids. No wonder he had grey hair.

**NCIS**

Tears streaked down Ziva's cheeks as she connected to Skype with shaking fingers. It took several rings before Nettie answered with a bright smile that fell as soon as she registered the young woman's expression. "_Child, what has happened?_" A hand flew to her chest. "_Please tell me it is not Tony_." She'd already had to live through one of them mourning a death, to do it again would be too much.

Ziva pulled her knees up and shook her head. "_It is not Tony. It is Eli_."

Nettie's eyes widened. "_What about him?_"

"_He was here_," she whispered, burying her head in her arms as sobs tore from her throat and shook her whole body.

From six thousand miles away Nettie watched helplessly, aching to be in the same room with her beloved niece, to hold her in arms that had cradled her since she was a newborn, smooth her wild, restless hair, and murmur anything that might bring her a shred of comfort. But she could do none of that and anger took the place of compassion as she thought about her brother. "_Why?_" The young woman's tears continued and she pressed for an answer. "_Zivaleh, why was Eli in America?_" HaShem help him if he had gone there to make trouble for his daughter. She would draw and quarter him herself.

Ziva finally looked up and scrubbed at her cheeks with the sleeve of her shirt. "_Not for me_," she admitted softly. Then all at once she shot to her feet. "_Not for me! He came to see the director, because Vance needed his help. But where was he when I needed his help Doda? In Israel sitting behind a desk and not caring about one more officer lost in the field. He has never been there when I needed him. He has never cared_." She began pacing across the room in short strides.

Nettie closed her eyes and began reciting the alephbet backwards to calm herself. "_He did care little bird, once upon a time_."

Ziva turned to her aunt, eyes flashing. "_Well he does not care now!_" she spat. "_He will not beg to be part of my life, nor for my attention. And I doubt it ever crossed his mind to beg my forgiveness for his part in what happened. No, the mission is more important. His friend is more important. His pride is more important. Everything about him is zevel! Worthless!_" She flung a pen across the room. "_I do not know why I ever bothered caring in the first place!_"

Nettie lifted her eyes to the ceiling and sighed. "_My brother is an idiot. One day he will regret this_."

"_No,_" Ziva declared hotly. "_He will never regret anything. He has no feelings Doda. There is nothing left in his heart, if he has one at all. He stole my childhood, he commanded my life, and for what? To offer me up as a sacrifice at the first sign of imperfection?_" She rattled off a string of curses that made even Nettie's eyebrows lift, though she understood.

"_I am sorry dear one, that he has dredged up all this pain again. What would you have from me?_"

"_Nothing_." Ziva shook her head and though no steam came from her ears Nettie could practically see the anger inside, boiling her alive. "_I'm sorry Doda, I have to go_."

She broke the connection before Nettie could say a word and that was the last straw. The little Israeli lady got up and marched over to the phone, dialing the number for Mossad's headquarters. Within seconds she had bullied his secretary to find out exactly when Eli David would be back in the country. And as soon as he stepped foot on Israeli soil, he would have her to deal with. Perhaps he had forgotten what the wrath of an older sister was like. Tomorrow he would see it again firsthand.

**NCIS**

The dull thudding noise from inside the house spurred him into action before he even remembered sliding the key in the lock. Tony threw the door open and stared at what he found. Ziva, in a frenzy of fury she had no other way to funnel, was beating a pillow against the wall by the spare bedroom over and over. Little grunts and huffs escaped her as she pummeled the wall with all her might. Finally the thin cotton succumbed to her violence and exploded. From her place in the corner Meira jumped to her feet, barking at the feathers floating through the air like an early snow. Barely even noticing except for the fact that she had lost her weapon, Ziva screamed at the top of her lungs and collapsed on the ground.

That broke Tony from his frozen stance and he ran over to settle behind her, his arms encompassing her slender frame. Ziva wept into her hands while he cradled her gently against his chest and finally shook her head. "I don't know what I'm doing. Help me Tony, please."

He held her tighter, his own tears spilling out in response to her pain. "Honey, I don't know how. What can I do?"

She swallowed, holding onto him with a vicelike grip that suggested she might never let go. "He is not even sorry. I was tortured for months because of his orders and he does not think he did anything wrong." Ziva dropped her head onto his arm and her voice faded to a whisper. "I feel like my soul is broken. There are too many pieces this time. Maybe I cannot be fixed."

Tony's heart split and it drew blood. "I love you even if you feel broken sweetheart. I love you. I love you." The crying didn't stop but he continued to rock her slowly as she mourned. At last she went limp, all the strength anger had given her draining away, so he picked her up and carried her to the office, settling in the corner chair and tenderly kissing every tear that marred her cheeks. His continual care almost made things worse and it was ages before her eyes stopped leaking. When they did he leaned his forehead on hers.

"I think we need to get out of here Zi."

She looked at him through wet lashes. "Where?"

"DC. Let's go away for the weekend, escape. We're not expected back at work until Monday." His greatest longing right now was to whisk her away from this turmoil and spend a few precious days trying to smooth over her ragged emotions with all the love he had to give.

Ziva framed his face with her hands, soft lips skimming over his. "Okay."

Tony swallowed his wife in an embrace, holding her as tightly as he dared. Then he claimed her mouth again for a brief moment and ran a hand down her back. "Pack whatever you need for three days. I need to make some phone calls."

She nodded slightly and unfolded her body from his lap, slowly pulling her hand from his as she walked away. Once she was out of sight Tony let his head fall back against the chair and wracked his brain for where they could go. It had to be away from DC but someplace they could drive to tonight and somewhere that might help Ziva find the peace that Eli David had callously yanked away from her yet again. An idea hit him like a jolt and he jumped up, throwing himself into his computer chair and booting up the laptop so he could find a hotel.

Twenty minutes later they had a reservation, pricey for last minute on a holiday but totally worth it, and he headed to their bedroom to let Ziva know. But before he even made it a few steps the layer of fluffy white on their floor stopped him. "Whoa."

Meira, having already licked one of the feathers and been unimpressed that it stuck to her tongue, had retreated to the livingroom with her bunny held protectively in her mouth and was staring warily at the innocent down. Tony knelt and rubbed her head. "It's a bit of a mess, huh girl?" She sneezed and he chuckled. "Yeah, feathers have that affect on some people." Trying to decide the best way to tackle the problem, he eventually opted for the dry mop, not wanting to clog up their vacuum cleaner. It took awhile to hunt down and collect all the feathers, but finally he made a neat pile that was easily transferred to a large black garbage bag.

With that out of the way he resumed his original mission. Ziva was just putting a last few items into backpacks and duffle bags and his eyebrows rose. "You didn't have to pack for me honey."

"I know." She tucked some hair behind her ear and zipped the bags closed. "But I like to." Her eyes flashed to his and she rounded the bed, sliding her arms around his waist and laying her head on his chest. "Thank you for this."

He dropped a kiss on her hair. "My pleasure babe, really."

"Where are we going?" she asked eventually.

"It's a surprise," he hedged. "But a good one," he felt compelled to reassure her. "I got us a room so I'm ready whenever you are."

"I'm ready." They each grabbed their own bags and headed out but Ziva stopped short on seeing her self-made disaster cleaned up. "I'm sorry, I should have helped."

Tony shook his head. "Don't worry about it. At least it wasn't something more challenging."

One eyebrow rose. "Like what?"

He shrugged. "Oh, I don't know - honey, ketchup, dishsoap."

Her eyes narrowed. "There is a boarding school story behind that."

Tony laughed. "You never know."

Ziva was doing up her coat before she noticed their dog. "Oh Meira." The animal came towards her and was treated to a gentle hug. "What are we going to do with you?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Rats. It's been almost a year, she shouldn't be an afterthought anymore." He sighed. "Maybe I'll just text one of the guys, see if someone can drop by to check her food and water. There's no snow yet, I'll leave the dog door unlocked so she can get outside to do her business."

"Three days is so long to be away from her," Ziva lamented, not wanting their pet to feel abandoned.

The next minute Tony was on the phone and not too far away CJ picked up the line. "MacKay residence."

He paused for a second. "Oh, hi CJ. Sorry, I'm still getting used to you answering Brent's phone."

She laughed. "Me too. What can we do for you Tony?"

"Uh, well..." He didn't know how to explain. "Is your husband available?"

CJ didn't take the request personally, she knew they might have to be family for awhile before Tony would be comfortable confiding in her. But he and Brent had a history that went back decades. "Sure, hold on." She looked into the kitchen. "Brent?" He spun around from where he was putting final touches on the apple pie they were taking to her parent's house tonight since he wasn't fond of pumpkin. She held the phone out. "It's Tony."

He wiped his hands on a dish towel and took the phone. "Hey D, what's up?"

Tony blew out a breath. "Look, I know it's really short notice and the timing is probably inconvenient, but is there any way you guys can keep Meira for the weekend?"

Brent's brow furrowed. "The weekend? Did you forget about our group dinner on Saturday?" It was becoming tradition to share holiday meals together whenever the calendar gave them that opportunity.

He had, actually. The dinner at Mark and Cassie's hadn't even crossed his mind until Brent mentioned it. "Dang. Yeah, I did." He shook his head. "We won't be there."

It didn't take a genius to pick up on the tone in his friend's voice. "What's wrong?"

"It's too long of a story. Can you just tell Mark...tell him that we had to deal with Ziva's dad? He'll understand. I'm sorry to miss the dinner, but we're leaving tonight. We need to get out of the city for a few days."

Brent didn't bother asking for clarification. He wondered sometimes if the others had forgotten what Ziva looked like the first time she came to a Sunday afternoon basketball game after last summer. But he hadn't and he still worried about her from time to time. Whatever it was that was making them miss out on the festivities, he was willing to bet it was pretty bad. "Just a sec." He put his hand over the receiver and glanced at his wife. "Can we have Meira for a couple days?"

She looked surprised, then concerned. "Of course."

He flashed her a grin. "Thanks Kris." Back on the phone he passed the message. "We'll come and get Meira on our way home from CJ's parent's tonight."

Tony's sigh was one of relief this time. "Thanks man, we owe you one."

Brent chuckled. "You owe me several. I'll start making a payback list."

"That sounds dangerous." But after the way the gang had stepped up to help them out this last year, he was willing to do anything to start repaying them. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"You too."

Brent hung up and stared at the phone. CJ came up behind him and put her arms around his waist. "What's wrong beloved?"

He wasn't sure if he'd ever told her how much that title meant to him. "Something's going on with Tony and Ziva. D doesn't just bail on family get-togethers for no reason." He held his hand over hers. "I need to call Mark."

Her lips grazed the back of his neck. "I'll put the pie in, take your time."

"I love you."

CJ glanced back over her shoulder. "I know."

Brent lifted the phone as if it weighted twenty pounds and dialed his old roommate's number. Mark came on the line sounding a little out of breath. "Hey Swish, what's going on?"

He traced an invisible line down the wall. "Is this a bad time?"

"We're just heading out the door to go see Cassie's dad."

"This'll only take a minute." Brent scraped his fingers through his hair. "You and Cassie might want to pray for Tony and Ziva."

That stopped Mark cold. "What happened?"

"I don't know, but they're not coming Saturday. Tony said it had something to do with Ziva's dad and that you'd understand." The silence on the other end of the line spoke volumes.

Mark heaved a sigh. "Thanks for passing the message. We'll definitely pray."

"Yeah," Brent said slowly, seeking out his wife, "us too." They maybe hadn't spent as much time doing that as they should have, especially considering the upbringing they'd both had, but now would be a really good time to start again. It didn't seem like much, but it was all they could do for their friends. And Brent needed to be doing something.


	16. 8x9 Enemies Domestic 4

_A/N: Hi guys! Sorry I missed posting last week. It seems lame to cite work and being busy but that's what happened. I'm going to take some time off after this chapter, I probably won't be back until June 14 or thereabouts (though I may put up a separate, short TZ story in the meantime if I get it finished). I have a few more details to sort out in the upcoming chapters and I want to make sure I haven't missed anything before I put them up. Thanks for all your comments on the last chapter, it means the world to me when you take time to let me know what you thought of the chapter. I appreciate every one. Please assume that anything spoken in Israel is in Hebrew. I don't know enough of the language to write an entire conversation. And if anyone reading actually speaks Hebrew, I apologize in advance if I got any of the Hebrew words/phrases incorrect, I didn't have time to get them checked. Thanks! ~Aliyah_

**Thursday November 25 continued**

Although she kept her hand in his for the entire drive, Ziva was lost inside herself during the trip that took almost twice as long as it should've because of the crazy holiday traffic. Tony had no idea if she'd registered where they were or heard any of what he said just to fill the silence. When he parked at the hotel and kissed her hand, Ziva blinked like she was coming out of a stupor and followed him inside. The check-in process didn't take long and Tony knew how fortunate they'd been to get a reservation with hardly any notice on Thanksgiving weekend. Thank God for cancellations or their plans might've been over before they'd begun.

It was a silent trip upstairs but at least Ziva had looked at him a few times, even shared a smile. That gave him hope and the courage he needed to approach her when the sting of her flippant comment from the other night still lingered on his heart. Once they were settled in their room Tony turned the lights off and came to sit beside her on the bed. His fingers slid over her cheek and into her hair and she closed her eyes, lifting her face to receive his kiss. It was so soft and sweet, comfort and grounding and love, and she couldn't help but go back for more. His lips met hers over and over, always giving her time to back out or move away, never pressuring for anything else. Several minutes passed in a haze of warmth and tenderness before she began to feel the intent behind his caresses and had to stop.

Ziva put her hands on his face and dropped her gaze. He was so close she could feel his breath on her skin, and she desperately didn't want to ruin the moment but something had to be said. "Tony...eres el amor de mi vida._ You are the love of my life_. Hachaver hatov beyoter sheli. _My best friend_. Je t'aime plus que tout. _I love you more than anything_. Please do not take this as a rejection of you neshama, but I do not know if I can handle sex tonight." _(Spanish/Hebrew/French)_

Tony held her tighter. "That's the only way I know to reach you Ziva. To make it so you can't think of anything but us. I'm not trying to be selfish...I just don't know anything else that might touch the pain in your soul." His lips brushed her ear. "I want to let you lose yourself in me amore."

Tears dripped down her cheeks and Ziva hid her face in his neck. "Ani pochedet ahava." _I'm afraid._ Somalia was already crowding into her subconscious and she didn't want to give it more of a foothold.

"Betach bi," he whispered, though inside he hated that seeing Eli had brought all those memories up again. "Ani batuach." _Trust me/I'm safe_.

Whether it was the use of her language or the meaning of the words themselves she wasn't sure, but in that moment Ziva chose to give herself to him. She wore the vulnerability like a cloak but Tony carefully worked his way through the layers. Before they became one she stopped him, a hint of desert sand shimmering in her dark eyes. "Adin v'le'at, bevakasha?" _Gentle and slow please._

He covered her mouth with his, wanting her to feel the sincerity in his touch. He didn't know all the words but her body language and expression confirmed the translation. "Always honey. I will cherish you during this time, I promise." That was, after all, the entire point of getting away and his only focus for their weekend.

She nodded, drowned by the weight of his care. "Toda."

So he was gentle and they took things slow and tears shed during the act were tenderly kissed away. It was always over too soon, he could never get enough of being with her that way, and not for the last time did Tony wish it was possible for their lovemaking to last forever. What they'd shared tonight was incredible, powerful. It stirred his soul and bound them even closer together, a feeling he wasn't ready to let go of even when they finally had to part. But Ziva must've felt it too, because afterwards she stayed so close to him it seemed she was trying to melt right into his skin. Tony, of course, had no objection to their proximity, but he did worry about the dark emotions he could sense simmering just under the surface. If experience was anything to go by, they were facing a difficult night.

**NCIS**

**Friday November 26**

Unfortunately, his prediction was right but Tony thought this was one time he could've lived with being wrong. Ziva tossed and moaned beside him only a few hours after they'd fallen asleep and he found himself missing Meira, his silent companion in suffering. Turning over, he touched her shoulder. "Zi?" She nearly jumped out of her skin, rolling out of bed and crouching in fighting stance before she was even fully awake. Then she straightened abruptly and walked to the window, trying to calm her rapid breathing and erratic heartbeat.

Tony gave her a minute before he joined her, carefully folding her into his arms. She leaned back against his chest, watching the city lights through the slit of the curtains. "Perhaps they will never go away Tony."

His lips found the exposed skin of her shoulder. "No. I refuse to believe that Ziva. You've hardly had any nightmares at all since September. Don't give up honey, please. Not when we're so close."

"I don't have anything left to give," she whispered. "I'm empty ahava. Maybe this is it."

He didn't know what she meant exactly but it didn't sound good. "I'll keep you afloat," he murmured in her ear. "I'll hold on even when you want to let go. I will be here even when the shadows attack, and I will fight by your side for the life we deserve. Sweetheart, we are going to make it through this."

"I wish I could believe you."

Her low voice was devoid of hope and Tony felt his own strength falter. But if he gave up so would she and he couldn't live with that outcome, not when they'd come so far. Several minutes passed before he tried to coax her back to bed but she sent him there without her and remained where she was, watching life go by outside and wondering if things would really ever be the same again.

**NCIS**

The Eli David who walked off the plane onto an Israeli tarmac into the very early brightness of a new day was a far different man than the one who had boarded the plane to respond to the request of an old friend. For the first time he felt old, weary, human. His arm ached, the injury smarting every time he moved, and he had a headache that had begun when he walked away from his daughter for the first time because she told him to and not by his own choice. He stood for a moment in the open while Mossad personnel worked around him with all the precision of a well oiled machine and breathed in the hot air of his homeland.

He'd always been comforted by the familiar scents that floated to him with each faint breeze. Why did it smell so bitter this morning, like soot and the sharp tang of smouldering wood? Perhaps it was the bridges he'd finally and irrevocably burned following him now as an ever present reminder of what his single minded passion had cost him. Eli's shoulders sagged. It had cost him the last living child of his bloodline that he still wanted to claim, only now she belonged to another and he was nothing. Nothing to her, nothing in her life, just nothing. Lonely was a feeling he'd always prided himself for never giving into, but now it hit with a vengeance when he realized he truly was all alone. He'd made himself that way, worked hard to push other away, but it was a hollow victory now that he'd won.

Covering up his feelings, that disallowed weakness, was something he did not seem to have strength for in this moment. He looked to his right to tell Hadar something but another officer had taken his dead friend's place and that only made things seem all the more wrong. "I believe," he said slowly, watching the man snap to attention, "that I will drive myself today."

His eyes widened. "Director-"

Eli glared. "Do I have no rights even in my own country?"

The officer was at a loss and caught Malachi's eyes, needing backup. Having overheard the exchange, Ben-Gidon strode across the tarmac and spoke with a lowered voice. "Director, there are protocols and procedures you have put into place. Just because El Masri and the other Palestinians are dead does not mean you are no longer a target. Please, let us take you to the office."

Bristling because he did not like to be coddled, especially by a man so much younger than he, Eli nonetheless recognized the wisdom in Malachi's statement. "Very well," he conceded. "But I am going home."

Malachi's eyebrows rose. "Are you sure? The debrief-"

"Can wait until tomorrow," Eli insisted. "I am tired and I want to pay my respects. I owe him that much."

Malachi understood and quickly made arrangements. According to Jewish tradition Hadar's body had been sent back to Israel on the same day of his passing, once Dr. Mallard finished with the autopsy, and he was buried the next morning. It saddened the director to have missed his friend's funeral, though that really couldn't be helped. There was no one left of Hadar's family so Eli paid for the tombstone and burial plot, the least he could do. It would not be ready for weeks, but at least the man who had given so much to his country would not be forgotten in an unmarked plot.

The new officer at his side, whose name he suddenly could not remember, opened the SUV door and he climbed in. It was a silent drive and the team responsible for his security fanned out around the area when they arrived at the cemetery, giving him what privacy they could when the priority was to be on the lookout for any potential threats. With a sigh Eli lowered himself to the stone bench in front of Hadar's resting place and bowed his head, murmuring through Hebrew prayers too often spoken over the tombs of those he loved. He spent a long time thinking, going over the events of the past few days and accepting the guilt for his part in this man's death. It seemed there was a long list of names he could add to that burden, starting perhaps with the young girl who was the only one to survive.

His security team dropped him off at the house and made themselves invisible. He knew they were there but the goal in his own space was to never catch so much as a glimpse of those charged with protecting his life. Contrary to popular belief, he did not like to bring the office home with him. Eli opened the door slowly, taking his first step inside and thinking how heavy his body felt and that maybe he would give into the need for a rest. But that thought was quickly quashed

by the blur that leapt at him from the chair in the hall and slapped him soundly across the face.

"How dare you! How dare you!?" she shouted. "She was getting better, she was living again, and now after a year you go and turn it all upside down?" Nettie stalked back, grabbed the pillow off the chair, and hurled it at his head. Taken aback though he was, Eli had the good sense to duck and it thudded harmlessly against the half-closed door. "Where were you when she really needed you Elihu? What gives you the right to try and claim her when it is your fault she broke? Do you have any idea what you have done?"

She didn't give him a chance to answer, this time lobbing a shoe from the mat in his direction. "You equated her suffering with the foal Asher was not allowed to give her? She was tortured Eli! Things were done to her that no person on earth should have to survive. You had no right to make light of that experience." Nettie paced down the hall and made a frustrated noise in her throat, spinning towards him. "And after all you put her through you could not swallow your pride and apologize?! When did you become such an idiot?"

Rubbing his smarting cheek, Eli resisted the urge to smile. Even though she was furious with him he'd never been so glad to see anyone. Trying to keep things light, he raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were never speaking to me again."

"Tipesh!" his sister hissed at him, scanning the area for another projectile. _Fool_.

Distraction was the key, learned in childhood when she was on a rampage, and he caught her arm. "It's good to see you Netta."

She swallowed as he towered over her and blinked hard when he pressed his lips to her forehead. "Sometimes I think I hate you. Where is my brother? I miss him." Her tone was softer this time, verging on hurt, and Eli wasn't sure he could handle the tears of two women he loved in as many days.

"You are right," he sighed, sinking into the chair. The admission caused his sister's mouth to open slightly in shock. "I've lost her Netta. And for the first time in too long it matters...she matters."

Nettie crossed her arms and stared at him sharply. "You lost her the moment you put a weapon in her hand and ordered her to kill for you. Why should you care now?"

He raised tired eyes to hers. "Because I finally see it, how far I have pushed her away. She will not come back this time."

His sister debated for a moment then dropped her arms, closing her eyes and letting out a breath. Righteous anger became calm logic as she realized he was finally giving her an opening to show him what he'd done. "You have given her no reason to."

Eli swallowed and looked at the ceiling. "Salach li Adonai." _God forgive me._ "What have I done?"

His genuine remorse, brokenness evident in the posture of a man who had suddenly realized he lost everything, was all the proof Nettie needed that her brother was ready to listen. "Do you want to fix it?"

"Yesh ein matzov akhshav." _There is no chance now._

"Perhaps," she agreed. "But wouldn't you rather know for sure?" Confusion rather than hope clouded Eli's eyes and Nettie felt compassion for him, confronted with a lifetime of mistakes so deep there seemed to be no way out. "I think," she began slowly, "that the ground might be a good place to start rebuilding what you have spent the last sixteen years tearing down."

Tears gathered and spilled down his beard shadowed cheeks. "Ani mitz'taer shepag'ati bach, Netta."_ I'm sorry I have hurt you._

Nettie cared little for herself in that moment. "Are you sorry for what you have done to her? Because there will only be one chance for you to get this right Eli and your heart must be in it. If you fail now, you fail forever."

He hung his head. "Ken. Ani yode'a." _Yes/I know._

"It will not be easy," she warned, fully aware of the state her niece's heart was in.

Eli stared at the grain in the floorboards for longer than she liked before he sat up straight, squaring his shoulders. "I know how to fight."

She frowned. "That is the wrong attitude. You cannot just bully your way back into Ziva's life. If you are allowed in at all it must be on her terms. This is not a mission where you can force the outcome by sheer will. You are trying to win your daughter's trust. You are trying to show love to her that she has not seen expressed since she was small. Everything must be slow and gentle and careful, because if you hurt her again I am quite positive no one will find your body." It was said partly in jest, but she'd heard what Abby was capable of and Nettie herself had a very old friend who could be called upon to help her hide any evidence. Not that she expected such an outcome to be necessary, but preparation was key.

"Ani mevin." _I understand._

Nettie placed her hand on his shoulder. "I forgive you ach." _Brother._

That made him break down again, to be called brother, a reconciliation he'd barely dared to dream about during the long last year apart. When he'd composed himself he met her gaze, an uncertainty foreign to his normal in charge persona clearly written in his expression. "Where should I start?"

"Write her a letter," she advised. "Tell your daughter everything you have held back since before her mother died, since before Rivka took them to try and save them. And this time do not be too proud to say you are sorry. Her forgiveness will not be as easy to garner as mine." That Eli already knew as he stood to hug her with his one good arm. Engulfed in his strong embrace, Nettie determined to see her brother become the man he used to be, while also hinting at and nudging her niece towards a forgiveness that is not for his benefit but hers. In this case time might not be the best healer nor his ally, for Eli it was already starting to run out.

**NCIS**

Several hours later Tony returned from using the bathroom and slipped in behind his wife, kissing her neck and holding her close. The sadness in her spirit was palpable, like a living thing he could almost touch. Ziva sighed. "Do we have to get out of bed?"

He drew his arms completely around her. "No."

She swallowed. "I just want to lay here with you for awhile."

Tony rested his chin on her shoulder. "I'm happy to be your haven Zi. We don't have to go anywhere." The whole point of this weekend was to get away and relax together. Staying in bed was a good place to start.

The grey light of early morning peeked through a crack in the curtains and muffled sounds reached them from the door and wall, signaling the rise of the hotel's other occupants, but Tony and Ziva stayed cozily tucked under the covers, tethered by warm skin, soft touches, and the shield of their love.

"I'm sorry for this," Ziva whispered awhile later. "I can't seem to find my way out."

He slid his fingers between hers. "Don't let go."

Her thumb rubbed over his. "Lo ani." _I won't._

An undetermined amount of time trickled by before he propped himself up on one elbow. "Can you take off the nightgown?" It wasn't fancy, just one of her knee length comfort pairs, something that looked like it had seen a lot of years and travels.

Her brow furrowed and she shifted uneasily. "Tony, I am not-"

His finger landed on her lips. "This isn't about sex Zi."

She frowned harder. "Then why?"

Tony drew his fingers through her hair. "I never got to check you for bruises after that fight with Liat. I think it's time I saw the damage."

Ziva was about to retort that he had seen her in just her skin multiple times over the last few days, but then she remembered the lights had always been off and in one of those instances they'd been drunk so she gave him a pass and shimmied slowly out of her pyjamas. Laying there in nothing she felt exposed, but Tony's eyes did not immediately drift to the expected places so she waited to see what he'd do.

Taking the examination seriously, he thought back to the fight and drew one finger lightly along her forearm where dark patches shaded her tan skin. He couldn't help pressing his lips to the spot, which elicited a smile from his wife. His touch skimmed her torso, covered in mottled colours thanks to Liat kneeing her several times, and he sighed. "I should've been more careful about where I rested my weight. Why didn't you say anything?"

Ziva draped an arm across her chest. "Because I wanted what you were offering more than I cared if it was a little uncomfortable." That had been the last thing on her mind while she was soaking in his love during the midnight hours.

Tony frowned. "That looks like more than just a little. Are you sure you're okay?"

She put the nightgown back on but didn't pull it down all the way. "It is not so bad. I've had worse."

"That does not make me feel better," he muttered, running his hands slowly over her body but finding little other evidence of the brawl. Tony lifted her hand and kissed her ring finger, wishing he'd thought to grab the blue boxes from their nightstand drawers.

"They're in there," Ziva said softly, reading his thoughts and pointing to her backpack. A grin lit his face and Tony eagerly retrieved the wearable promises. He sat crosslegged on the bed, sliding Ziva's into place before pushing his own on. She adjusted the rings. "This is one time we do not have to hide."

If it was any other weekend he might've been insistent about picking a specific date when hiding would no longer be necessary at all, but now he just laced their fingers together. His stomach growled and he eyed her in question. "Breakfast? I'm of a mind to order room service."

Ziva pushed herself into a sitting position and shook her head. "We should go down to the dining room." Given how much her husband enjoyed food she had no doubt that the offered buffet spread played a part in his choice of hotels.

"If you insist." He helped her up and thought about suggesting a shower but opted to wait. They'd need one later after what he had planned anyways.

The couple got dressed, Tony guessing immediately from her clothing selections that comfort was the main theme of the weekend. He couldn't remember the last time he'd worn jeans this broken in, nor a t-shirt and zip up hoody instead of something dressy. Ziva's outfit consisted of well used cargo pants, a white t-shirt, and an old beige wide necked sweater that had a tendency to slip off one shoulder. She left her hair down, the loose waves spilling gently over her back. Snaking an arm around her waist, Tony nuzzled her neck and whispered that he loved this side of her, then led her out the door and downstairs.

Once in line at the buffet he piled his plate high with everything that looked good, which was almost all of it, but when they chose a table he eyed Ziva's selection critically. "Cottage cheese, fruit, and granola is not a very substantial breakfast Zi."

She delicately sampled a small spoonful. "Yours is substantial enough for both of us."

That wasn't a satisfactory answer but he didn't want to fight about it. They ate mostly in silence, Ziva much slower than him, though when he came back from getting seconds her plate was gone, a mug of tea in its place. He suspected but couldn't confirm that she'd ditched the rest of her food and was now trying to hide it from him, though he'd have to save making a big deal out of it for later.

Ziva could feel Tony studying her and she wasn't in the mood be to interrogated. "So, what do you want to do?" Perhaps brainstorming about plans would distract him, even for a little while.

His gaze was heavier than usual, the pause before his words long enough to make her want to fidget and avoid the stare. "I had an idea you might like."

She took a sip of the hot drink. "I'm listening."

"The weather's not exactly ideal for a trail ride, but I think Jax and Jules would like to spend some time with us." It seemed like ages since they'd been to the barn and try as he might Tony couldn't pinpoint a single reason for the lapse. With the extra forced together time over the summer he and Ziva had often driven over to take advantage of the sunshine and warmth, but then she was away and the nightmares came back. October started with reliving year old trauma and the rest of the month had been a flurry of cases to keep them busy, though they had made time to see their horses after the one with the explosion at the park. And then the weekend of her birthday as well, which had only been two weeks ago but after everything life had thrown at them - dealing with his father and then hers in rather quick succession - it suddenly felt much longer.

A hint of joy flickered in her dark eyes. "I would like that very much."

Tony grinned. "I thought so." He went back to shoveling food into his mouth, inhaling what was left on the plate without actually being rude about his manners, and when he was finished their fingers linked together almost of their own accord as the couple made the trip back upstairs.

In the elevator Ziva leaned against his side. "Thank you ahava. You always seem to know just what I need."

"Not always," he argued, kissing her neck. He tugged her into his arms and she went willingly, glad they were alone in the car. "I know you Ziva," he said in a low voice. "I think I have at least a college degree thanks to all the years I've spent studying you, learning about you. But I've got a long way to go yet."

Her palms slid up his chest. "You are doing a very good job," she whispered, ghosting her lips lightly over his.

A quick stop in the room was all they required to get their coats and head out. Tony had planned carefully and it was only a ten minute drive from the hotel parking lot to the familiar location they'd visited so often since he'd finally made good on his promise to provide opportunities for his wife to do the things she'd loved as a child. At the office they signed in, bought a few treats to share with the animals, and hurried inside the barn, glad for the insulated warmth of the building. Ziva drew in a deep breath and smiled, the perfume of horses and tack and hay and food a welcome change from gunpowder and betrayal. She didn't wait for her husband as she approached Jules' stall and held out her hand, offering half a horse cookie as an apology for her absence.

Jules looked at her with wise, liquid brown eyes and delicately lipped the treat out of her palm. Ziva moved closer and slowly rubbed her hand up the horse's nose, pressing a kiss to the white streak under her forelock. "Shall we go for a ride today motek? It is a little cold outside, but perhaps we will go fast in the meadow, then both of us will be working hard."

From his place next door where he was giving Jax a good scratch behind the ears, Tony listened to the quiet conversation and resigned himself to the fact that she wouldn't really be with him for the next couple hours. Her peace was more important than being the focus of her attention. He'd have his hands full anyways if she and Jules went for a run and Jax tried to join them. "Try to take it easy on me, okay buddy?" he told the horse. "I didn't grow up around horses like Zi did and I might be getting better, but my confidence still has a long way to go." Jax lifted his head and blew in Tony's face and he wrinkled his nose. "Somehow I don't find that very reassuring."

When he turned around Ziva already had Jules in cross-ties and was heading for the tack room. She came back lugging a Western saddle and pad and he watched for a moment before leading Jax out of the stall and securing him in the hall. Tony retrieved his own tack, glancing to his left as Ziva coaxed the bit into Jules' mouth. Jax gave him a little trouble when it was his turn, but Tony was persistent and eventually prevailed. Force of habit had him checking the cinch again and tightening it a bit more before unclipping Jax, since the stallion had a habit of sucking in his breath to make himself bigger around so the cinch would fit looser. The last thing he needed was to end up on the ground if things got interesting.

He nodded at Ziva, who was leading Jules towards the door. "See you out there?"

She smiled faintly and turned around, leaving Tony and Jax to follow them at a slower pace. His wife had mounted by the time they got outside but she waited until he was in the saddle before squeezing Jules into a walk. "Did you want to go on the trails for awhile first?"

Tony knew she just wanted to let go, feel the wind in her face and the powerful muscles of her mount moving beneath her as they flew across the level ground of the meadow, the beating of hooves on the earth and the rush of air taking over all her senses, so he appreciated her offer. "How about one of the shorter loops, just enough to say we admired the scenery?"

"Okay."

They headed out, both horses walking at a leisurely pace side by side along the crisp wooded path. At one point Tony reached across the space between them and just held her hand, wanting the contact with her. He didn't like the distance that had been building since they arrived. Ziva turned her hand in his, making the effort to stay connected, but her concentration shifted drastically once they made it to the upper meadow and he kept a firm hand on the reins, nodding at her. "Go."

She leaned forward to whisper to Jules and the mare's ears flicked back and forth, listening carefully. A moment later she leapt forward with a jolt, picking up speed steadily as her long strides ate up the dry grass below. Woman and horse tore from one end of the meadow to the other, then again, finally coming to a stop back by Tony and Jax, who was quite literally chomping at the bit, annoyed to have missed out on the opportunity to race. Tony's skills didn't quite extend to wrestling a thousand pounds of determined horseflesh for the upper hand while they galloped at breakneck speed towards anything that got in their way.

But Ziva was smiling for real now, some of the tension she'd been carrying in her shoulders seeping away. She patted Jules' neck and raised her eyebrows in question. "Would you like to try? We do not have to go very fast."

If it was any other time he would've made his excuses and put her off. But it was here and now and she was asking, so Tony found himself nodding cautiously and signaling Jax to trot. Ziva rode by his side, offering advice and encouragement, slowly increasing their pace to a canter. That one took a little more concentration for Tony, who was still relatively new at all this, but he found if he fixated on his wife's smile and occasional laughter, how delicate her hands looked holding the reins, the way she seemed so in command as she sat up tall in the saddle, that it was a whole lot harder to worry about falling off and getting hurt.

Almost two hours passed before they returned to the barn and began the process of unsaddling and grooming their willing mounts. Tony had to admit that he scrimped a bit on the brushing and currying that Jax deserved for being such a good sport because he so desperately wanted just to watch the way Ziva was with Jules. Her whole demeanor changed, there was a gentleness in her movements reserved solely for animals and children and he liked seeing her that way. Moving quietly he slipped out of Jax's stall with one final rub and latched it securely, then peeked around the next stall where Ziva was having a quiet, one-sided dialogue completely in Hebrew, which he was still mostly left out of even though months of consistent lessons had given him the ability to pick out a few more words and phrases than he could before.

When he thought he could get away with it, Tony folded his arms and leaned them on the half-door, his green eyes fixed on his wife. He should've known better than to try sneaking something past the ninja though, because a minute later she flicked her head in his direction. "You are peering."

"Peeping," he corrected without a pause.

"Why?"

Tony shrugged. "You're fascinating."

She frowned at him. "I beg your pardon?"

It was at that point he decided that five feet was too far away and let himself in, coming over to stand in front of her, his hands resting at the curve of her waist. "You're different here, with the horses. I enjoy watching you."

Ziva's eyebrows drew together. "I do not want to be in a fish tank."

His internal idiom untangler stumbled over that one for a brief moment and Tony decided to let it go since he knew what she meant. He sifted his fingers through the tangled, windblown curls. "You'd be the prettiest fish in there."

She shoved him away without force and rolled her eyes, returning to the task at hand. But when he stood behind her with his fingers hooked into her belt loops, mirroring her every move, Ziva couldn't find it in herself to be annoyed. It was hard to hold anything against a man who loved her so much. When she finished grooming Jules she dropped a quick kiss on the mare's nose and said goodbye, then stepped to Tony's side where he held her coat and tucked his arm around her waist. "Well, did it help?"

Ziva leaned into him. "A little, I think. Thank you for thinking of this."

He lead her towards the car. "Want to stop somewhere and grab a late lunch?"

"I'm not hungry." The concern was in his eyes but she brushed it off. "Really ahava, I am fine."

_Liar_, he thought. Her not being fine was exactly why they were taking this weekend off.

She looked up at him. "Maybe we should use the hot tub at the hotel. Will you share the shower with me afterwards?"

As a distraction technique that one did the trick. His eyebrows rose. "Did you pack swim suits?"

A smile slid across her lips. "I have learned to be prepared for anything."

"Well in that case Mrs. DiNozzo, it sounds like an offer I can't refuse." Tony held the door for her and hurried around to his side. Opportunities to be close to her might be few and far between in the near future, so he was taking advantage of every one he could get.


	17. 8x9 Enemies Domestic 5

_A/N: I made a lot of progress in going through chapters and getting organized the last two weeks, but I didn't quite finish by my deadline so I'm afraid I won't be able to post again until next Sunday. Sorry for the delay. Please let me know what you think if you have a chance, reviews truly do make my day. Love ~Aliyah_

**Friday November 26 continued**

They changed separately on arriving back in their room, Ziva in the bathroom and Tony in the bedroom, and headed downstairs covered by the hotel provided robes. Once in the pool area Ziva undid the tie, letting hers slide gracefully to the floor. Tony's eyes widened. "A bikini Zi?"

She glanced over one shoulder. "You do not approve?"

He was in front of her with two strides, hands settling on her hips. "I approve very much." The suit was modest, black with small flowers dotted across the fabric, but Tony didn't care, he just loved when she showed off her body. One finger followed a faint line across her torso. "I didn't think I'd get to see you in one of these for a long time."

Ziva sighed. "It has already been a very long time ahava."

Tony's gaze said he understood but she only let him steal a brief kiss before walking to the pool edge and diving in. He watched her lithe form glide underwater until she reached the opposite wall and came up for air. He spent a few minutes sitting with his feet dangling in the cool liquid, then moved to the hot tub and waited. Several lengths later Ziva hoisted herself out and joined him, closing her eyes and sighing blissfully as the warmth cradled her fatigued body and soaked into sore muscles. His hand found hers on the seat and for awhile they just savoured the heat and time to relax.

Eventually Tony looked around to make sure they were alone and lifted Ziva's legs over his lap. One hand cradled her cheek as he brought their lips together. The hot water must've been working its magic because she responded easily, tilting her head to accommodate the caress, dripping fingers skimming his jaw as she leaned into him. Tony indulged in his obsession with Ziva's mouth, tenderly kissing her and taking advantage of every sign she gave that this was a good thing.

The giggle of a child broke his focus and he smiled into her hair. "I think it's time to move to a more private location." Her immediate tension told him a lot and he captured her lips slowly. "Babe, if all we do is enjoy a little making out I will still be a very happy man. Stop worrying."

She let out a breath and smiled faintly, moving to get out. Gathering their things Ziva headed for the door but Tony shook his head and steered her towards the changerooms, slipping in after her as soon as no one was paying attention. At her raised eyebrow he shrugged. "I seem to remember pool showers being small and quite cozy. We have to be really close to fit comfortably."

Ziva rolled her eyes but didn't refute his logic, locking the cubicle door behind them. "We need to be quiet," she warned as his palms cradled his face.

"I'm up for the challenge," he whispered against her lips.

The intensity between them skyrocketed after only a couple of kisses and Tony lifted her up, Ziva's legs going around his waist to anchor herself while his hands roamed over her back and their mouths melted together over and over, the pace becoming almost frantic when neither could get enough. He held her against the wall for support, one arm under her behind and the other cupping her face, craving deeper contact with her as he parted her lips and explored her willing mouth. The claim he laid on her was searing in its possession and Ziva's breath left her, rushing out into him. Tony swallowed her surprise by capturing her lips again, his own firm and deliberate as he sought her touch.

At last Ziva let go and slid down his body to stand on rather shaky legs. "Let us have a real shower tesoro, upstairs."

That whisper sent his desire into overdrive and it was all he could do to nod and follow her out while he tried to rein himself in before the part where they took their clothes off and he had to be a gentleman. He lost the battle by the time they got back to the room and joined her in the bathroom still wearing his board shorts. Tony started to get in and she eyed his attire thoughtfully. "You do not have to."

He swallowed. "It's not for you, it's for me. I don't have the control not to react to you naked. This will remind me not to get carried away."

Appreciation shone clearly in her rich chocolate gaze and she closed the curtain, wetting her hair and reaching for the shampoo bottle. Tony plucked it from her hand to take over the task and Ziva turned her back to him, relaxing as his fingers gently massaged her scalp. When he finished she did the same for him, appreciating his body anew as her hands roamed over her husband's back and chest.

After both were washed husband and wife continued to stand under the spray, warm water running over them. Trailing his fingers down her spine Tony pressed soft, open mouthed kisses along her shoulder. Ziva's head fell to side, giving him access to her neck, clinging to him as she soaked in each action. Following the water drops down her neck, his lips brushed over the hollow of her throat and she narrowly suppressed a moan, his tenderness and care igniting desire in her as the ministrations continued.

It was a long time before they were ready to get out and though he was glad to see her looking more at ease, Tony knew there was no point trying to get food into her even though it was the supper hour. Glad he'd stopped at a drive thru on the way back from the stables, he worried about her lack of interest in eating as they dried off using soft white towels and hoped it wouldn't last long. They had enough of that last year.

Deep in thought, he was completely not expecting it when Ziva put her arms around him and kissed his neck. "Take me to bed neshama."

Tony was pretty sure his mouth fell open. "But I thought..."

She shook her head. "I was wrong. What I need is you."

Despite the offer he hesitated, wishing they had the lock because of all times this might be when it was needed. But Ziva didn't give him much of a choice, leading him slowly backwards to the bed and sinking down on it, gesturing to his shorts. "You are wearing too many clothes."

He swallowed. _Not fair._ "Honey, are you sure? I-"

"Do you not want me Tony?"

Tony closed his eyes. "That's never an issue, you know that."

"Then why...?"

He sighed, working his fingers into her hair. "Babe I'm just concerned about the motivation, that's all."

If he stood his ground it would be the first time he'd ever turned her down...Ziva's brow furrowed. No, that wasn't right. With a little thought she could pick out three occasions when he had denied her, denied them both that act. Once just over a month after Somalia when Ziva was desperate for something to make her feel alive but nowhere near ready to actually be that vulnerable with him. Then a couple weeks later before they went to the Thanksgiving dinner when she was still deeply grieving the fact that they couldn't have children and her motivation had been to forget. And most recently, during his father's visit. Though it had been less about her and more because he didn't trust himself that time.

Still, she didn't know how to take rejection. No man had ever before refused her advances, it was unexpected for her husband to be the first. She stood and rose to her tiptoes, hesitantly pecking his lips. "It is a sharing of love ahava. That is what I want. You have been doing everything right. Please."

Tony wasn't trying to play hard to get and lack of enthusiasm for that connection certainly wasn't the problem so even with the concerns he gave in, wanting as always to do or give her something that might help. He brushed his mouth over hers and with that their love making began. Tonight she needed more than just the intimacy of his weight on her, so they never got as far as laying down.

In a flashback to the summer after her citizenship ceremony Ziva was held in her husband's lap, one hand caressing the marked skin of her back, the other diving deep into her curls, cradling her head while his lips sought hers in a gentle, completely unhurried fashion. In turn Ziva's palms rested on his cheeks, his neck, running over his shoulders and through his hair, returning each caress without hesitation. For those precious minutes she was totally immersed in his love and washed by the depth and intensity of desire he poured out on her, speaking to her heart more clearly by actions than words ever could.

Aware that her ability to engage with him was likely a fleeting respite considering how close she was to breaking, Tony took every opportunity to shower his wife with love, hoping that if he filled the empty reservoir in her soul to the brim she'd have something to draw from when she faded back into herself. Because their time was limited he hated to let her go, to separate and become two lonely entities once again, but for the hushed promise of this night Ziva continued to find her solace in him, trailing tiny kisses across his chest and settling down to sleep with her head resting over his heartbeat, hair fanned out on the pillow, a contented sigh escaping her lips. It was then that Tony felt like he'd truly done something right.

**NCIS**

"I was thinking about what you asked me last time," Celeste offered when their conversation hit a lull.

By her tone Gibbs knew exactly what she meant. He sighed. "You're gonna share whether I like it or not, aren't you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a baby Jethro. And remember, you brought the subject up." He grunted and Celeste took that as her cue to continue. "A lot of them are for work and give good advice, some might even keep them alive. Both 1's, 2, both 3's, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 15, 22, 27, 35, 38. But they shouldn't be made to rule your team's personal lives Agent Gibbs. That's not within your rights."

Gibbs stared at the phone skeptically and chose not to focus on the reprimand. "You just know all those off the top of your head?" She should be on his team if that was the case.

Celeste chuckled. "Not quite. I didn't crochet them on a pillow as Kate suggested, but I've compiled my own Gibbs' rules list over the years. I watched and I learned - isn't that Franks' teaching method?"

"You should meet Mike sometime Les. He'd like you." It was a shame she hadn't ever had the opportunity back when they were still working together.

"Good to know. Let him put a face to a few stories?" She was curious if he'd ever talked about her to his mentor.

"A few," Gibbs conceded.

"Anything complimentary?" she probed. His time with Mike Franks coincided both with their best and worst periods.

"He knows you stuck around. That baffled him more than anything else. 'Don't know what you did to deserve that woman Probie,'" he affected his best Mike Franks' drawl. "'Any lady who puts up with you that long deserves a heck of a medal.'" Gibbs cleared his throat. "Makes me nervous, the secrets you two could swap."

"I didn't think anything made Leroy Jethro Gibbs nervous," Celeste shared quietly. She wanted to add 'I love you' right then but hearing that would only scare Gibbs back into his hole and she wanted a fighting chance before that happened.

Gibbs glanced at the clock. "It's late. Nowhere to be tomorrow?"

She smiled and fiddled with the handle of her tea mug. "I could ask you the same question. It's later in DC than it is here."

"Leon said the team has too much overtime banked, he's not paying us to be on call for a holiday weekend too."

"Sounds like a creative way to make you take some vacation time." Celeste draped her legs over the side of her favourite overstuffed chair. "I plan to sleep in, read the rest of my book, and take Lexie for a long walk on the beach." There was a brief pause before she finished the thought. "It's too bad you're not here. Thanksgiving weekend is warm and sunny in California."

Doing his best to ignore the subtle hint, Gibbs sipped from a dark blue Marine Corps mug. "No excuse to have hot chocolate."

She laughed, relieved he wasn't taking her too seriously. Neither were ready to step out too far on the shaky ground between them. "Good point." The clock flipped past twelve am and Celeste sighed. "I better say goodnight Jethro. It's too easy to let uncensored thoughts slip after midnight."

He wished they had something more profound to say than two innocuous words. "Sweet dreams Les."

"Sleep well," she returned, hanging up.

Gibbs realized then when he couldn't bring himself to put down the phone that he really was too attached to his ex-wife/best friend. The three or four days before it was her turn to call suddenly felt ages away. But no use getting ahead of himself. If anything was going to work out for them, slow was the key. He just had to remember that next time he heard her voice.

**NCIS**

**Saturday November 27**

Ziva's eyes snapped open, the coppery scent of blood filling the air and clogging her throat. She rolled onto her side, wanting to gag, forcibly quelling the urge to empty her stomach. Images in sharp relief and detail flashed in her mind's eye and she felt again the horror and disgust and terror of what she'd done. Desperate to escape from the memory she started to get out of bed, but Tony's strong arm slid around her waist to keep her from leaving even though he didn't know the reason. Ziva snapped, reacting fast and furiously as she flipped him over and straddled his body, her hands planted firmly on his chest.

"Let. Me. Go!" she demanded fiercely, not wanting to hurt him but willing to go to that length if she could get away from the claustrophobic feeling of her past closing in on them.

Wordlessly Tony released his hold and Ziva escaped to the small balcony while her husband lay in bed trying to decide what his next course of action should be. Considering the emotion she'd just displayed he didn't want to push too hard, but he also couldn't let her run away. Only a handful of minutes passed before he realized how cold it would be out in the open air in only her pyjamas and there inlay his excuse for following her. Snagging an extra blanket from the closet, Tony tugged thick socks onto his feet and bundled up in one of the hotel robes before joining his wife. He inched the door open enough to squeeze through and approached her with caution, draping the blanket over her hunched form then retreating to the other side of the small space to wait her out.

It took longer than he would've liked, certain her bare feet were going numb from standing on the frigid metal floor, but eventually Ziva came to him with a hug and a mumbled apology that was half in Hebrew, half in English. Tony accepted her into his embrace, kissing her head and rubbing her back, feeling the shivers that gripped her body. Getting her inside and warm was a priority but he couldn't lose the opportunity either. "Can I ask?" he inquired softly.

She shook her head swiftly so he led her back into the protection of their room and immediately found socks in her duffel bag, working them onto feet that felt frozen to the touch. Ziva was entirely compliant, never a good sign, while he did his best to knead warmth back into her feet and hands before opting just to get her in bed and hope body heat took care of the rest. He would've preferred to hold her chest to chest, because he treasured the moments when she slept with her ear to his heart, finding her lullaby in the steady cadence and rhythm that continually spoke of his love for her. But Ziva had her own idea and settled in spooning position, leaving him no choice but to surround her as much as possible and hope for an answer to the riddle.

The clock's tick was almost deafening in the silence until Ziva finally exhaled and wrapped her fingers around his forearm. "I was sixteen the first time I ended a man's life," she related in a low voice. "I had already won my first marksmanship award and assumed the mission would include the need for a sniper. Instead Eli drove me himself, in the thick darkness of very early morning, to a house I'd never seen before. We got in through a first floor window and he described the layout of a bedroom down the hall, then handed me a knife."

She swallowed and shut her eyes, seeing it all over again. "Until my fingers closed around the hilt of that weapon I don't think I understood what it was he wanted me to do. But he was all deputy director in that moment, no father apparent in his eyes, and I couldn't summon the defiance to argue his plan." Ziva was so glad she didn't have to look into her husband's face while he heard this story. It was one of her weakest moments and the last one for years where she was truly human. "I crept into the room of a man whose name I was never told, my only information being that he was an enemy of Israel. I climbed onto the bed so carefully the mattress and the dreamer were not even aware of my presence. Then I straddled his body, prayed for forgiveness, and slit his throat." Those details she covered with a minimum of emotion, but the next ones caused her to she shudder.

"Doing something in training is entirely different than doing it for real. I was not prepared for the way his eyes opened and stared at me, for the death rattle of his final breath or the warm blood that spilled onto my hands." She wiped the phantom feeling off on her pj pants. "It was awful," she whispered, curling up even tighter. "I was so shocked. I couldn't believe what I'd done. I almost threw up, staggering away from the bed on shaky legs. I made it back to where my fath-Eli stood with the contents of my stomach still where they belonged, somewhere in my mind aware that Mossad never leaves a trace behind. Eli studied me carefully but had no reaction to the state I was in, only took the knife from my trembling hand to wipe it clean. Then he gave me a rag for my hands, kissed my head, told me 'Kol hakavod' _Well done_, and we returned home."

Ziva ran her finger over the back of his hand. "The next night I made Ari take me to Aunt Nettie's without telling him why and sobbed out the whole story on her couch while she held me. Ari eavesdropped, concerned because I never cried after Ima died. And though he hugged me very tightly the only grim advice he offered was, 'It gets easier little sister.' There was no comfort in his statement and I think somewhere in my heart I grieved for the child my brother had probably been when that was his lesson to learn." She covered her face with her hands. "This is why I never want to tell you about before NCIS Tony. There is only darkness and I have no desire to bring it into your heart as well."

At that point Tony needed to see her and coaxed Ziva onto her other side, leaning in to claim her lips before anything else. He stared into the conflicted chocolate eyes he loved. "You know better than anyone that I have my own darkness Ziva, my own skeletons I wish could stay buried. You don't have to hide the past from me honey, none of it." He cupped her cheek. "Am I sorry for what you experienced? Yes. Am I enraged that a father would make his young daughter kill for him? Absolutely. Does it in any way affect my love for you?" She seemed to hold her breath for the answer and he moved his mouth gently over hers. "No. Lo. Non. Nein. Nyet. Never. Nothing, do you hear me Ziva David-DiNozzo? Nothing can or will ever change how much or the depth to which I love you." His pained gaze bored into hers. "How can I make you understand that?"

Ziva skimmed her lips across his, then deepened it a little, without any other way to tell him what his declaration meant to her. Even after four years there were days that each time he promised seemed like the first time, like something she couldn't quite be sure of or trust because someday it would just disappear. She squeezed her eyes shut and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. "Keep telling me," she whispered, burying her face in his chest. "Please keep telling me."

Tony hugged her hard, his throat thick with an ache their love often caused. "Oh babe, I will. I promise I'll never stop telling you that. Not until you can trust that I mean it forever."

She couldn't respond, couldn't think, could barely breathe through the tightness in her chest. A love so deep she had yet to see the bottom, even when she'd sinned against him so badly the well should've gone dry. The 'thank you' might've been whispered or merely reached for in the tangle of her misty mind, but she had to believe that somehow, somewhere inside her husband knew what she meant and how much she too, loved him when she didn't know how to say.

**NCIS**

Tony had no idea how long it had been, but he finally realized that Ziva - drawing light patterns on his damp shirt with only a touch of fingertips - had no intentions of going back to sleep. He sighed, the sound soul deep after this most recent brush with memories he wished fervently that his wife never had to carry. Tony rubbed the back of her neck under her hair. "What will help honey?"

Ziva moved her head slowly, indicating no solution she could think of, then slowly grasped hold of a temporary way of having peace. "Swimming," she said, already pushing away from his embrace. "I will go swimming."

Almost frantic to feel the familiar glide of water all around her, Ziva stripped off her layers and changed without caring if he watched. She was on her way out with only his sweater draped around her body when Tony made it out of bed and grasped her hand, collecting a towel from the bedroom and their room key, making it clear that he intended to follow wherever she led. _Le'olam lo titz'adi levad. I mean it Ziva, you will never walk alone_ \- a phrase he'd uttered time and time again in her native language when the situation called for it flew through Ziva's mind, but her only focus right now was getting into the pool.

They entered the twenty-four hour accessible room and Tony briefly brushed his lips across hers before letting her go fight for the solace she needed. Diving gracefully into the deep end, Ziva almost reached the bottom before stilling in suspended animation, absorbing the safety and muted silence of her underwater sanctuary. Here nothing could touch her - the memories could not invade, her father couldn't reach, and even Somalia was not able to interfere.

With her eyes closed she concentrated on slowing her heartrate and suppressing the natural urge to breathe. Seconds counted down slowly and her lungs started to burn as one minute became one and a half and headed towards two. Though she knew Tony would be worried, Ziva craved the control and discipline needed for this skill. At two minutes however her body was rebelling and she used powerful strokes to pull herself towards the surface, drawing in a deep breath of moist air when she reached it.

Her husband's anxious gaze was fixed on the water, no doubt reminding himself over and over that she knew what she was doing and working really hard not to leap off the deck and pull her out. The tension in his body uncoiled when she came up and their eyes locked momentarily before she began a steady front crawl that took her from one end of the pool to the other, back and forth at a pace which would've worn out most ordinary women. But this was no ordinary woman and she was racing more than her share of demons this time.

Ziva swam for over an hour then pulled herself up to sit on the side, covered her face with her hands, and cried her heart out. His own ached in response but there was nothing Tony could do beyond wrap the towel around her shaking shoulders and kiss the back of her head, at a total loss for how to lance the pain consuming her. She seemed numb after that and let him tug her back to their room with very little resistence. He encouraged her to shower and ordered room service while she warmed up.

It should've come as no surprise that the most Ziva did was push food around on her plate, but he still didn't like it. Tony put his hand over hers. "Sweetheart eat something, please."

Ziva set the fork aside and wiped her fingers on a napkin. "I cannot." She sought her Star of David but the touch brought no comfort at that moment and she took it off, dropping the jewellery on the desk. Her pendant reminded Ziva of Israel, of her father, and she couldn't stand to have that connection dragging her down. She paced across the room, wringing and flexing her fingers but avoiding the ridged scars circling her slender wrists. "The dream is...too close Tony. I do not want to be sick." Spending time hanging over the toilet two days ago was enough for a very long time.

Tony frowned, unable to read if she was telling him the truth. And even if she were, that didn't explain why his wife had been avoiding food since Eli appeared. It was a habit he did not want to see continue. He got in her path, stopping the nervous movement with his hands on her hips. "Stay with me Zi."

Her gaze faltered. "I am trying ahava, but it is all so heavy."

His voice lowered, forehead coming to rest on hers. "Let me help you carry it."

Ziva kissed him, the suddenness stalling a response until he gave himself over to the need bleeding out of every touch. The couple were naked and in bed a handful of minutes later and she pulled him down on top of her, seeking the security of his weight and strength covering and surrounding her. The meeting of their bare, warm skin sparked a desire fast making its way to the surface and with an ardent kiss he stole her ability to think of anything except him.

Afterwards Ziva needed the sheet to cover her and Tony ran his fingers below her throat. "I'm not used to seeing you without that chain."

She shrugged one shoulder. "I need a break."

His lips caressed hers tenderly. "Will you try to rest?"

Soft hands slid up his chest and bicep. "I think I can, now."

Tony quirked a half-grin. "I aim to please."

Ziva drew his arm around her body. "I love you."

He nuzzled her neck, breathing in the scent of them clinging to her skin. "I love you more."

For once she didn't argue, figuring he'd earned the right to win this round.

**NCIS**

Tony slept hard for almost three hours, pleased to see Ziva still was when he opened his eyes. An idea had struck him, whether from a dream or as he'd drifted back to consciousness he wasn't sure, but he ran with it, slipping gingerly from beneath the covers and dressing to head downstairs for some suggestions on Maryland entertainment. Ziva hadn't stirred by the time he got back and Tony hunkered down beside the bed, touching her cheek gently. She gradually responded to his prompting and he held up the tickets when she opened her eyes.

"We need a change of scenery." She seemed about to protest that she'd rather not see a play, too many people etc., but he countered the argument before it had been made. "A comedy Zi, a reason to laugh, that's all. Get ready please. The past is suffocating in here."

Though her movements were reluctant she gave a single nod, "Okay," and did as he asked. When she frowned in consternation at the completely undressy clothes that had been packed, Tony kissed her neck and said it didn't matter because this time was just about them. And Ziva wondered again how she'd ever been allowed to marry such a wonderful man. Their seats in the auditorium were located middle right, not bad considering the holiday and it being a last minute plan. History seemed too heavy for Ziva to get any real enjoyment out of the performance, but her expression grew slowly lighter and her hand became more relaxed in his so he considered the event to be a minor success at least.

Back at the hotel Tony surveyed the now made bed and slid his arm around Ziva's waist. "I'm thinking we rent a couple movies and settle in for some good old-fashioned cuddle time."

She blinked slowly, trying to clear the fog she felt surrounded in, and laid her palm on his cheek. "I would rather be in your arms yakiri than anywhere else in the world."

His mouth immediately covered hers and he drew the moment out, conveying love and thanks without using a single word. They got comfortable on the bed and Tony scrolled through their choices, offering the selection to Ziva but receiving little response until finally giving up and deciding on one to start with. At first she just leaned against his side, limp and wrung out as an old dishrag, but gradually Ziva adjusted their position until she sat between his legs, wanting the safe feeling of his arms embracing her. By the third movie she was curled up with her head on his lap, enjoying her husband's fingers occasionally sifting through the silky strands of hair spread out around her.

Tony eventually ordered room service for supper, wouldn't take no for an answer even though she didn't want anything, but he still had to watch her pick at cheesy garlic bread for twenty minutes without putting much effort into eating. Disappointing when it was perfectly done too, but he couldn't enjoy his either when his wife was acting this way. He wondered if she was grieving or simply lost and at that moment he had no idea how to bring her back.

**NCIS**

As soon as everyone was settled, Brent stood up and tapped his fork against a glass to get their attention. "I have a very important announcement to make." The group leaned forward expectantly. "Ryan Christian Taylor MacKay was officially adopted on Monday afternoon."

Cheers erupted around the table and McKenna felt compelled to jump out of her seat and run over to give him a tight congratulatory hug. Months before he would've looked uncomfortable and tried to pull away, it was easy to see how close they'd become over the last year when he returned the hug with a big smile and a quiet 'Thanks Ken'.

Alec stared solemnly across the table and Adrian nudged him. "What's up Tugs? Aren't you excited?"

"Of course," the boy replied. "But this is very important and...Uncle Tony and Aunt Ziva aren't here to know."

Cassie and Mark exchanged glances. How were they to explain the couple's absence to the children? Cassie took the lead, being close to Alec, and put her hand on his arm. "Uncle Tony and Aunt Ziva's job is not always easy. They had to work a very difficult case this week and Aunt Ziva's heart got hurt. Uncle Tony wanted to make it better, so he took her out of town for the weekend. Sometimes married people just need to get away from everything else and be together. But I'm sure they will be very glad to hear Ryan's news."

Alec sighed. "Okay." His brow furrowed. "We should give Aunt Ziva an extra hug when we see her."

"And make a card," McKenna added.

"They should've taken Meira with them," Ryan put in, gazing thoughtfully at the two canines on the livingroom floor with their toys. "Dogs are good for bad days."

Mark smiled. "I think those are excellent ideas amigos. Maybe you can work on the card after dinner."

The three shared glances. "Maybe after the treehouse," Alec offered. "We were keeping an eye on pirates earlier."

The adults chuckled. "It wouldn't be Captain Hook by any chance, would it?" Jordan asked.

McKenna rolled her eyes. "No Uncle Jay, it's the Dread Pirate Roberts!"

All the ladies burst out laughing and Mark lifted an eyebrow. "So that's what was playing on your super secret girls' night in."

"CJ hadn't seen it," Cassie explained passionately. "Such a travesty had to be remedied."

"Uh-huh." He didn't sound convinced and Mark held out his hands. "Okay, let's say grace."

Around the group hands were joined, heads bowed, and thanks offered for the meal and each other - this special unrelated family they'd been blessed with. That was always their most significant reason to be grateful.

**NCIS**

The dark cloud settled over her again as bedtime rolled around and he could see her chewing on her lip while he brushed his teeth and pulled on an old OSU t-shirt. Four years of marriage and five as partners gave him the ability to almost read her mind, so he knew she was debating about whether or not they could be intimate tonight. Her shoulders sagged once a decision was reached and Ziva waited on the bed for him, turning dark limpid pools of sorrow his direction. He took the place beside her and ran a hand down her back, leaning in close. "What is it sweetheart?" Whatever came next, Tony knew the answer would not be in the affirmative.

She swallowed and shifted closer, turning her head so her lips were by his ear. "I think," she began softly, her palm resting on his cheek, hoping to soften the blow, "that I am too sad tonight even for making love yakiri. Ani mitzta'aret."

His lips brushed her earlobe. "You don't have to apologize Zi. I'm not going to pressure you for anything, I promise." Especially considering the unexpected turn of events that had her seeking his body and comfort that morning instead. In this state of mind every time she could handle being with him was a gift, he wasn't going to quibble about those when she couldn't.

In response she sagged into his embrace, trying desperately to absorb his strength and love, wishing that would be enough to stave off the black emptiness growing inside her soul. They laid down, Ziva wrapped around her pillow and Tony wrapped around Ziva. All was quiet for several beats of their hearts, but he could hear her thinking and soon enough that turned into crying and she buried her face in the soft cotton to muffle the sound.

With a sigh Tony pulled on her shoulder to get her to roll over. "Come here honey."

Ziva resisted. "No. I do not want to get your shirt wet."

He made a frustrated noise. "I don't care about my shirt. Come here, please."

That was all the convincing it took for her to move and he suddenly had a warm sobbing ninja clinging to him, her tears soaking into the worn material of his favourite t-shirt. When her tears subsided Ziva fell asleep too fast for him to ask if she wanted to talk about it, but at least his arms could shelter her while she dreamed and he hoped tonight they would take her far away from that blasted desert room.

_Replies:_

_Kristen - Thank you, I'm glad to hear that :) No hints really. EJ and Rob will be added as sparsely as possible while still keeping with canon. For the rest you'll just have to wait and see! Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Uconn Fan - Hi! I don't know if you ever read the review sections when you don't read the chapters but on the off chance that you do, I wanted to reply here. I wish I could give you a firm date on being done, I appreciate your dedication and patience for waiting. If I had to guess (and we all know how accurate my guesses turn out to be, lol :P), I'd say we might have Part 5 complete by the end of the summer. Maybe. But I do love that you drop me a line now and then and I'm glad it makes you happy to see the updates even when it takes me forever to get to them. One of an author's greatest compliments is when someone rereads a story, so I thank you :) lol...I did like to know that. I'll take anything that puts me on the favourites' list, wherever that might be. I'm good, busy but good. I've been pouring my heart into getting the rest of the chapters in this part completely sketched out and added to and organizes so updates can be on a regular basis so that's taking up all my free time. Of course, I love every minute of it :) How are you? You're welcome, it's nice to know that's appreciated. See you again at the end of the summer, maybe! ~Aliyah_

_Guest - Me neither. Tony is a great husband. I worry sometimes that I make him too perfect, but he and Z are writing this story in my head so I guess I can blame it on them if it's not totally realistic. Eli has seen the light, but he's got his work cut out for him working his way back into Z's life. That's nice to hear, thank you :) I'll do my best. Thanks for leaving a review! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest #2 - Thank you for understanding. I want so badly to share the rest of this story so you guys can read it, I'm just desperate right now not to miss anything that I'll regret not adding later. I agree. We all need a guy like Tony in our corner ;) Unfortunately, I think Z's going to carry that hurt around for quite awhile yet. Thank you. I do so appreciate when people take time to review. It means a lot. ~Aliyah_


	18. 8x9 Enemies Domestic 6

_A/N: Apologies for the delay, I was not feeling well last night and went to bed instead of uploading. This chapter is mostly background on Ziva and the life of the David family. I will not be offended if you skip it. Next chapter to be posted Sunday June 28, baring any unforeseen occurrences. Thank you ~Aliyah_

**Sunday November 28**

After a long shower to wash off the scent of horse and barn from their most recent round of horse therapy, the idea conceived when he woke to find tear tracks fresh on his wife's cheeks, Tony sat behind Ziva on the bed and began rubbing her shoulders. In her hands she held the little stuffed horse he'd bought her when they finished their ride. According to the lady at the desk, who was a fountain of information, kids taking riding lessons at the stables had started asking for toys of their favourite horses months ago. So, following several discussions on the suggestion, the owners agreed and had stuffed toys made that resembled each animal as closely as possible. The kids were thrilled, sales covered the cost of the project, and Tony just couldn't resist purchasing one after he saw Ziva stroking the mane on a Jules toy.

He leaned forward and dropped a kiss at the base of her neck. "Thursday seems like an eternity ago, but something Eli said stuck with me." Muscles he was working to relax suddenly tensed, so Tony hurried to get it over with. "Would you tell me about when your mother took you and Tali away from him? You've never talked about it." Though she had mentioned it vaguely once after Somalia. He hadn't followed up the comment then, but he was interested in knowing more now.

Ziva sighed and tightened her grip on the stuffed horse. "There is much of my past I have not shared with you ahava, mostly because there is very little worth telling or remembering." She glanced over her shoulder. "But I am willing to give you that story." Tony stopped what he was doing and adjusted their position until he was propped against the headboard, then slid his arms loosely around her waist and waited. She got comfortable laying against him and let her mind go back in time. "Though I suppose, for you to understand, I should start at the beginning."

"Whatever you want to tell me, I'm listening."

"Rivka Benjamin and Eli David were married on March 15, 1972. He was five years older than she and their union had been arranged, they did not see each other before that day. Ima...never forgot what he told her on their wedding night - that he'd fallen in love with her from the first moment he saw her face after lifting the veil."

Tony personally didn't believe Eli was capable of such sentiment, but now that she'd opened the door for him to see he had no intention of interrupting his wife's recollection.

"The first year of marriage was one of their best. Eli was a good man - tender, loving, handsome. Ima thought she had fallen into a fairy tale." Ziva fingered her wedding rings absently. "She was excited to be expecting shortly after they said their vows and the miscarriage six weeks later absolutely devastated her." Not for the first time did the young woman wonder how different life would have been if there had been more children in their family than just she and Ari and Tali. "They tried again a few months later but the miracle did not reoccur."

"Very soon after their first anniversary Eli was sent on a long term mission in the Gaza Strip, just over fifty miles from their home in Tel Aviv. He left with little warning and was allowed no contact with Rivka during that time. He was gone for over a year." She rubbed her forehead. "Ima said she was lonely and sad and if it hadn't been for Aunt Nettie opening her home to her young sister in law she would have gone to pieces from missing him." With the state of their relationship, or lack thereof, she had difficulty conceiving how one could miss such a self-centered, cold hearted man. But as Doda kept trying to tell her, once upon a time he was very different.

Ziva swallowed, coming to a harder part of the tale. "When Eli returned it was not the happy reunion she anticipated. He was distant and aloof, his mind always other places. She found it very hard to keep his attention at all, which was disappointing considering their long separation. Rivka would not find out for almost two years that he had an affair soon after arriving in Gaza and left behind a mistress, an Arab woman Dr. Hasmia Haswari, and newborn son. My brother was born one month early, in February 1974, and only two months old by the time Eli was recalled to Tel Aviv." She rolled her shoulders. "His purpose had been accomplished."

"Ima said Eli was different after that mission - less open, more focused on work. She...always felt like an afterthought." Ziva knew intimately the despair of that feeling and ached for her mother, so young and unprepared for the life she found herself living. "He made frequent trips to Gaza over the next two years and was gone for a couple of weeks every other month. Rivka began to wonder about another woman, but Eli did not always tell her where he was going so her suspicions were hard to confirm."

Wishing he could do something, Tony had to settle for kissing her temple and holding her a bit tighter. He knew sharing this history would not be easy for her.

Ziva brought her hand up to press over his heart and continued, the steady beat keeping her grounded even though she felt a thousand miles away. "In June of 1976, when Ari was two and a half years old, Eli came home with the toddler in his arms. He handed my brother to Rivka and said, 'This is my son Ari. I will not be home for the evening meal.' And he left them. Ima was...so shocked. And hurt. And many other things she did not even understand. But she knew the little boy didn't do anything wrong so she cared for him as tenderly as she would have her own baby that never was, loving him in spite of the situation. She tried to comfort Ari when he cried for his mother. Having grown up with an Arab neighbour the language he spoke was familiar to her, though she would later learn that Hebrew had been part of his teaching too."

A small smile touched her lips as she thought about her mother's fiery temper and legendary stubbornness. They were very alike, she and Rivka. Nettie told her once that she and her mother shared the same spirit. "Ima refused to speak to Eli or let him anywhere near her after discovering the news. An entire month passed before she uttered one word to him, in spite of all his attempts to get back in her good graces, and it was six months before she allowed him in their bed again." She chuckled. "He was relegated to a cot in the spare room with Ari, who would spend a few weeks in Tel Aviv every couple months for the next few years."

Tony smiled against her cheek. "I like your mom already."

"Rivka and Eli were nearing their fifth year of marriage before she became pregnant again but it lasted just long enough for them to be excited and hopeful, then she lost the baby at four months. Though Eli waffled between supportive and standoffish, she couldn't bring herself to care and Ari grew even more dear to her. When he turned five, under Eli's orders, he began a six month living rotation between them and his mother. The transition was very hard and he gravitated towards Rivka because she seemed to understand him and a child can always tell when someone loves them."

It made him sad to think of the siblings she'd lost - both those she'd loved and the ones she never met.

"Ima conceived again in February of 1982 when Ari was eight. She and Eli celebrated ten years of marriage before she was even aware, though most of those years had been spent living relatively separate lives. Her world revolved around Ari, Eli's around Mossad. The two rarely crossed orbits."

"So you were the miracle baby."

Ziva nodded slightly. "Yes. For Ima I was. And if Aunt Nettie is to be believed, for Ab-for Eli as well." But she held only vague memories of those early years, everything that came after her training tended to eclipse what happy times there may have been. "They grew closer after my birth and less than two years later she was expecting again. Ima had only begun to suspect she might be pregnant when she miscarried very early."

This was where she had a hard time continuing, because her knowledge of the man who fathered her did not mesh with things her mother had confided over the years. "According to Rivka, Eli, since I was born, had become once again the man of their first year of marriage. He was tender, gentle as he dried her tears and held her through a lot of dark hours in the wake of such grief. Their comfort became essential to Ima's healing, not just from that loss but from all the others as well. Things she had not been able to share with him up until that point."

Tony wondered how she reconciled this unrecognizable man with the one who appeared to care very little whether she lived or died.

"The result of her husband's consolation and attentiveness was another pregnancy a few months after my third birthday. Our whole family held their breaths as days, weeks, and finally months inched slowly past. Then, that November, my Tali was born."

He could feel her joy just in that one sentence and dreaded getting to the part where she had to speak of her death as well.

"She was the light of our lives and everything got brighter simply because she was alive."

Love for her sister shone out of every word and not for the last time did Tony wish he could've met Miss Talia David.

"That same year Eli's career with Mossad began to move into management and he was home more often. As a family we were very close during this time. Those days..." she shook her head. "I treasure them, but looking back now they seem more like something I made up in my head than something that actually happened."

He whispered 'I love you' and kissed her neck, not seeking to halt the telling but more to acknowledge her own confused feelings.

Just as quickly as the joy came a shadow fell. "When Ari had his Bar Mitzvah everything changed. Eli insisted he start living with us full time, only allowing him to spend holidays and summers with his mother. That was also when his training began and a year later he started studying for the medical profession that had been chosen for him. I remember only once talking to him about it."

"_Ari, do you want to be a doctor?" nine year old Ziva asked, leaning folded arms on her brother's desk piled high with textbooks and study materials._

_Ari sighed and reached over to tug one of the wild dark curls spilling around her face. "It is not a question of wanting little sister. It was an order to become."_

She shrugged. "I didn't understand his words then, but as the years passed and time came for my own training to start, it all came clear to me." Ziva picked at the seam on his jeans. "Ari graduated with honours before he turned eighteen and because he was exempt from military service in the IDF by not being born Israeli, he spent the summer with Tali and I in Haifa and at Dod Asher and Doda Chana's farm before starting university in Palestine. He was...relieved, I think, to be out of Eli's direct supervision and glad for the chance to live with his mother full time again. But when he went from our big brother who was home all the time to only visiting during the holidays Tali and I missed him desperately."

The picture she painted of Ari also seemed not in keeping with the man he'd never actually met but still had cause to hate. Except, for his wife's sake, Tony tried not to hold a grudge against the older brother she loved. As much as the loss of the Kate still hurt it was in the past and nothing could change that now. If they ever had children...when they had children, he wanted to be able to tell them good things about their only uncle. Considering the circumstances, however, he might have to leave the telling to Ziva.

They were getting closer to the end of the story now. "Something changed in Ima during that time. I think perhaps she saw how miserable Ari was in training, how hard it was for him to study and work and sleep and get up to do it all over again. The pressure on a young teenage boy must have been intense, but he never allowed that to colour his interactions with us. I believe Ima tried to speak with Eli about it, but his mind was made up and nothing would get in the way of that single minded goal - not even those he claimed to love." _Typical_, she thought bitterly, knowing first hand now what her brother had suffered during those years.

"The older Ari grew the worse things got and when he finished his first year of university and spent the summer working with his mother in the clinic - gaining valuable practical experience but unable to visit his sisters, that was too much. She was so angry that Eli would push his own son to the breaking point and let slip the vow she'd made as he changed and became less and less the man she knew and had grown to love. She told him that her daughters would be allowed to choose for love when they married and he dismissively replied that he would agree to the condition for Tali but I was to be his weapon." A truth which hurt so much more for knowing what would follow.

"In that moment something broke between them, she felt she did not know him anymore, and she feared very much what our lives would look like if we stayed under his influence. So when Eli was sent on a long term mission a few weeks after Hanukkah the year I turned eleven, Ima made a decision. For a man in his position to go away for two months was unusual but not unheard of, and as soon as she knew he was not coming back right away she started packing. She told Tali and I that we were going away and should get everything we needed, all our favourite things, ready. We could take only two bags each."

This was the part he'd been wanting to hear, but already he could imagine the fear of the unknown that would've haunted two young girls.

"Ima contacted an old friend of Aunt Nettie's, Shmeil Pinkhas, who arranged for the paperwork she would need - including new indentities for all of us. He had known our family since before I was born and was willing to help in any way. He confided to me much later that he was aware of how Eli was and had watched with increasing concern as he changed over the last several years."

Tony frowned and asked his first question. "New indentities? So you didn't use your own name?"

Ziva turned in his arms. "Ima was a very smart woman. Eli knew she loved the country and hated city life, so when he found them missing he would check villages and small towns first. For that reason she chose Nahariya, a city of just over fifty thousand people and seventy-five minutes from home. We needed to blend in rather than stand out, so we took the eleventh most common Israeli surname of Malka and went by our middle names instead. Rivka became Eliana - a name I always wished I had because I thought it sounded like a princes. I was Miriam, Tali Rebeka, and Ari, should he be able to visit, would be Samuel. We left in January so Ari was busy with school, but once Ima contacted him to explain her plans he promised to come and see us as soon as he had the chance."

She toyed with the gold chain around his neck. "Thank you for letting me talk about him Tony. I will...try to make this the last time."

He sighed and tipped her chin up. "He was your brother Zi, I would never ask that. I'm just trying to separate the two of them in my head."

"I am still trying to separate the two of them in my heart," she whispered, then returned to the story. "Tali was only six and she had a hard time adjusting. She didn't understand why we had to pretend, why we hardly saw Ari, why Papa couldn't come. She missed him and Aunt Nettie and our aunt and uncle, her friends at school and the stray neighbourhood cats, but she learned to be okay with just the three of us and Ari when he could make it. I, on the other hand, didn't care at all that we left. Eli's assignment came shortly after the ballet recital he promised to be at but didn't show up to and I was still angry at him. My biggest concern was leaving behind my colt. I was afraid he would forget me while we were away."

"I didn't know you had a horse." Not surprising considering her love of them, but Eli hardly seemed the type to indulge that love.

"Eli refused to allow Dod Asher to give me the foal he'd promised for my tenth birthday, for no reason at all it seemed. But when my eleventh birthday came around Dod took me down to the barn to introduce me to a yearling he'd chosen specifically for me, and he deemed me responsible enough then to care for him. He said the horse was mine and I could spend time with him whenever we visited, which was quite often in the summer and on holidays." She smiled softly in remembrance of the animal who stole her heart. "I named him Dror because it means freedom and riding him was the only time I ever experienced it, especially after Ima died."

He laced their fingers together, the insight tearing at his heart.

"Other than that it was a peaceful year for me even though we were away from everything and anything familiar. Tali and I started a new school and Ima found a job at a local boutique that let her work the hours around caring for us. When Ari finished his second year of university he went back to work at the clinic with his mother, but then snuck away to spend part of the summer with us. We were very close and it was unbearable being apart so long. Somehow Eli found out that he was gone and went to confront him, but he refused to say one word." Her gaze shadowed. "That was the only time he could come, because after that he knew he would be followed and did not want to lead Eli to us."

"You were gone for a year?" He voiced the inquiry quietly, trying to work through the implications of that statement.

"Ten months," Ziva responded softly. "Until the day Ima came home from the boutique to find Mossad taking her children. She jumped in the car and made it back to the house before the officers arrived - an hour and a half drive made in less than an hour, now you know where I get my driving skills from. Tali was crying for her, I was ready to fight them all to get to her and wished Ari was home to help, Eli had no choice but to let her in the house as well. He brought us back just before Hanukkah and it was celebrated with Ari too, only two days later. But we did not feel like a family then."

She wrapped her arms around herself and Tony took the cue that she needed reassurance or comfort, sheltering her in his embrace.

"Only weeks later Ima started feeling sick. She fought the illness for months but kept getting worse. Eli...paid for the best care, so I guess in a way he still must've loved her even if he did not know how to show it. But nothing helped. They had been married for twenty-two years by the middle of March, that was the last one they would spend together. I think...at some point they must've reconciled a little, but the sicker she got the more Eli drowned himself in work and there was little left for us. Ari split his summer between working at the clinic and spending time with Tali and I and Ima. He more than anyone else knew she was fighting a losing battle, though he never said it out loud."

Ziva hated to think of those sad, endless, confusing days. At twelve she had been on the cusp of womanhood, but still too much of a child to face losing her mother. "In the middle of August Ima told me a secret, that she had been keeping journals hidden in a trunk in the attic and she was trusting them to my safekeeping."

"_I want you to have them motek, please. Read them, learn from my mistakes. These books, they are my life. My heart, my hopes and dreams. My childhood and innocence and all that came after." She pressed the key into Ziva's hand. "Keep them safe my darling. Use them to listen for my voice when you can no longer hear it outside of your heart."_

The small, intricately designed key had been something she often took out of a small hidden drawer in Rivka's jewellery box to admire and wonder what it was for. "I tried to protest but Ima already knew she was going to die. At home, after leaving the hospital that day, I found the locked trunk she spoke of, covered with a cloth and surrounded by dusty relics cataloguing the years lived by our family. It did not seem like much, no one would even look at it twice, but inside was a collection of very thick journals - one for each year of Rivka's life since she was presented the first one on her twelfth birthday."

A fleeting brush against her bare throat was all her fingers were allowed before she put the symbol out of her mind. "Not quite two weeks later she gave me the Star of David necklace as one of her last acts, and two days after that she died and left us all alone."

The grief in those quiet words was almost his undoing and Tony forced himself to remain still so she could finish.

"Ari, coming for his weekly visit, made it too late to say goodbye, something I know he always regretted. Even though Ari was proof of Eli's infidelity, my mother loved him very much. He called her Ima just like we did. They had a great relationship. Her death, so unexpected and something we had no control over, made him feel helpless when he was studying to be a doctor. I believe that is what completed his bitterness towards Eli, forcibly being separated from his mother as a child is most likely where it began. But he was in time to hold me through heartwrenching sobs as I grieved for my mother. That may have been the only time he allowed himself to shed tears for her too. I only know because I felt his on my cheeks and remembered that Ima belonged to him too."

The scene easily came to life in his head and Tony couldn't help but draw her closer against the pain that his own ten year old self well remembered. The loss of a mother was something one never got over, no matter how many years had passed.

"With Ari by my side I called Eli to tell him the news but he was busy. He had been slowly detaching himself from all of us since being promoted to Deputy Director in June. I had to go home and tell Tali by myself. Ari wanted to come, to be my support, but someone was needed at the hospital to take care of arrangements there and he was the eldest." Tony had already heard what it was like when she told Tali they'd lost their mother, she didn't plan on repeating it. "He met us at the house later and all three of us fell asleep in Tali's bed. It was one of the only times we were alone together after Ima died, without Eli around to mess things up."

There was a definite bitter tone in her voice now and he hated that none of her memories were free of the man.

"Eli attended her funeral later the same day according to Jewish tradition but could not be bothered with the details. Aunt Nettie, disgusted by his attitude, insisted on taking 'the children' with her." Ziva smiled, "Even Ari, who was far too old now to be considered a child. Tali and I spent a month with her while we grieved. She was still a teacher then and schooled us at home during those days. It was the best thing that could've happened to us." _But it wasn't to last._

"Then one day Eli showed up at the door and wanted us back. They argued and though it was unclear who lost, Doda moved back to the house with us and stayed until Hanukkah. My Bat Mitzvah came and went and she tried to make it special because she knew Ima would've, but nothing was the same without her. She barely saw Eli and I'm sure she wondered why he bothered wanting us back when he was never around. Ari came home as much as he could but Eli soon put a stop to that, demanding he focus on his studies instead. I think Ari hated him in that moment, but for us he kept it contained." Though defying Eli may have spelled the end of any time he was allowed to spend with them ever again, Ziva had wanted her brother close more than anything else with Ima gone.

"My saving grace was when Dod Asher and Doda Chana announced they were taking us for the summer as they had always done. It was the last time I was allowed to go, though Tali - always the baby and the favourite - continued to follow tradition for years afterwards. There had been little time to escape there in all of the upheaval and I was afraid Dror might've forgotten me. Dod assured me that wasn't true and he welcomed me as an old friend. I spent more time that summer on horseback than off, disappearing for hours and hours on long rides that gave me the freedom to just be me without anyone else watching and expecting something. Ari came to see us when he could, though working with his mother and training for Mossad took nearly all of his time. It only got worse in September when he was sent to Edinburgh for medical school."

She remembered the loss that tore at her heart when Eli resolutely pulled her away from her brother after the third tight goodbye hug. "Ari was livid that we weren't even allowed leniency in farewells and pushed past Eli to hold me briefly once more." The ache in her heart was as real now as on that hot day so many years ago. "I never wanted to let go. But I didn't have a choice." _Not then and not when I squeezed the trigger_. But that didn't make her feel any better.

"Once I had my thirteenth birthday my own training began and all of Ima's hard work to save us was for naught. Eli made me quit dancing and informed me that I would not longer have the luxury of summer holidays because I would be busy working. Ari was angry when he heard about it in one of my letters but we both tried to shield Tali from what was happening, from discovering the kind of man our father really was. She, at least, deserved the illusion." Despite their efforts, Ziva had always wondered if Tali knew much more about what was going on behind the scenes than she led them to believe.

"The next few years took on a pattern of training, with Ari around only in the summers to fulfill his own Mossad obligations. Papa planned a celebration for Tali's Bat Mitzvah and I got her a matching silver Star of David necklace because she always admired mine. It was a happy occasion, but I was jealous because I saw in her everything I was not allowed to be."

They were kind of off topic now, the story about being gone over and done with, but he wasn't about the stop the roll she was on. If she wanted to talk, he would gladly hear it all.

"Eli deemed my skills competent and gave me my first assignment shortly after my sixteenth birthday. Ari finished his fourth year of medical school that spring and returned to Israel where he and Michael and I were sent on small missions when he wasn't working in the clinic with his mother. Ari returned for his post-graduate work in Scotland and began full-time work at the clinic upon completion, so he was not around as much. The day after my eighteenth birthday I became part of the IDF and started basic training." Thanks to her father, the innocence she once possessed was already long gone.

"A year later Ari's mother was killed in a retaliatory missel strike from Israel. He only told me the news but I could see the anger and hatred building in his heart for Eli. Still, he managed to hide from us all how devastating the effects were. A month after that event he began to infiltrate Hamas and somehow along the way he got very lost. I still regret learning about it too late." She closed tired eyes and tried to finish.

"When the second year of my IDF service was over I officially joined Mossad and began gaining experience." Though much of that experience she hoped never to have to share with him. "But before I got in too deep Ari and I snuck Tali away to Paris for her sixteenth birthday without Eli's approval. We were gone for four days and that time together was worth every consequence. It would be our last chance to make memories as siblings because four months later Tali and her best friend Anna, Michael's little sister, were killed in a Hamas suicide bombing. Our revenge mission to deal with those responsible lasted two months before being successfully accomplished and we returned to our regular duties at Mossad. But that did not make it hurt less."

"Though Ari tried his best to look out for, protect, and shield me from the darkest parts of the job, Eli seemed determined to give me the hardest assignments, to be sure I could prove myself. For the next year the three of us worked as a team and spent any rare time off in each other's company. Then came his first visit to the United States and contact with NCIS, after which I was made his control officer because Eli wanted someone to keep an eye on his prized project. Upon his returned we continued doing missions until I was ordered on special assignment working counter-terrorist operations in Eastern Europe and the UK with Agent Jenny Shepherd." She waved her hand. "The rest you know."

Her trust humbled him and Tony was finally able to make eye contact with his wife, something she'd avoided over the last couple of hours. "It means more to me than you will ever know that you would give me those years. I'm sorry honey, I know that so much there is painful in a way I'll never understand."

Ziva's palm graced his cheek. "You understand better than anyone ahava, though at times I wish you did not."

He rested his forehead on hers, cradling her face in his hands. "Reason #854 - I love you for the innocence I still see even though you think its gone."

With those simple words the floodgates opened and she started to cry. She cried and cried and cried and he could do nothing but hold her tight and pray his love would be felt through the weight of this hurt.

_Replies:_

_Debbie - thank you, I'm glad you think so. T's patience continues to amaze me. The emotions are my favourite part so if you can feel them I'm doing something right. Thanks for taking time to leave a review! :) ~Aliyah_

_celestrial moon - (Ch 8) I'm glad you think my story blends well with the episodes, that's what I'm hoping for. The gift God has given me amazes me, I'm so thankful for the privilege of being able to write and share this story with you guys :) (Ch10) If MIT seems real then I'm accomplishing what I set out to do. When I write it I see the whole thing playing in my head like it's on the actual show. Yes, T is very good at presents. He's a thoughtful man. We all need one like him ;) (Ch 11) The love letters T&amp;Z write to each other is one thing I love about this story that hasn't really been in anything else I've done for them. (Ch 12) I'm all about the emotion. If you can feel it then - mission accomplished! :) (Ch 14/15) Thank you. There were some major tweaks I thought needed to be made for the EF/ED episodes, particularly the way Z responded to Eli. He's going to have to work a lot harder than that to earn the right to have a place in her life again. I think the flag will be in her drawer for awhile, I'm not sure when she'll be willing to claim Israel again. (Ch 16) lol...I think a lot of people looked forward to the Eli/Nettie confrontation and to be honest, I had a lot of fun writing it. Gotta love the wrath of older sisters! T chose well. The horses spoke to Z after Somalia so they're good for now too. (Ch 17) Getting away sort of helped, but Z's in a pretty dark place and it'll be a few chapters before she drags herself out again. Things will go a bit smoother for them starting after the first week of December. Thanks so much for catching up on chapter reviews, that was sweet of you. It was nice to see what you thought. Thanks! ~Aliyah_

_R.A - Hi. Your comment made my morning. Thank you so much for leaving a review :) You're sweet to say that, I'm glad you like it. I'm always happy to have someone enjoy the story. Lots more to come! ~Aliyah_


	19. 8x9 Enemies Domestic 7

**Sunday November 28 continued**

The rehashing of ancient history, particularly her mother's death, drained whatever energy was left in Ziva's body so Tony nudged her towards a nap, brushed his lips over her forehead, and went down to the fitness center for some weight lifting and a long, hard, sweaty workout on the stationary bike. He kissed her awake fresh from the shower and when tears came Tony lay down beside his wife and tenderly took over her mouth again and again, willing her to somehow be healed by his love.

Finally Ziva pulled away, dull brown eyes reflecting the state of her heart. "I want to go home."

Tony nodded, pushing some hair over her shoulder. "Okay babe, I'll get our stuff."

She shook her head. "I can pack. You go check out."

Trying not to read too much into her brevity, he squeezed Ziva's fingers gently and went downstairs. Twenty minutes later they were on the road and her eyes stayed glued out the window all the way back to DC. At an intersection he signaled but suddenly her hand was on his arm. "Meira."

Of course she would want their dog tonight. Heading straight through instead, Tony took a few seconds at the next red light to text Brent with a head's up and parked in the driveway soon after. Unbuckling his seatbelt, he looked at Ziva. "Coming in?"

She swallowed and shook her head. "They would not understand."

He got out and climbed the three porch steps, rapping the frat brother's secret knock on the front door. CJ opened it instead of Brent and smiled. "Tony, come in."

Seconds later feet could be heard on the stairs and Ryan came flying through the hall door, Cody and Meira on his heels. "Uncle Tony!"

Tony swung him up. "Hey Sport. How's it going?"

"I'm adopted," Ryan announced.

Tony's gaze sought Brent and he grinned. "That's awesome news. Did you have a party?"

"We went to Red Robin's for cheeseburgers and milkshakes."

"Sounds like a pretty good deal to me." Setting his nephew down, he knelt to greet the dogs.

"Hey guys." Cody lapped at his face enthusiastically but Meira pushed him out of the way and crowded in close. "Did you miss us girl?" She nosed his cheek and whined as he rubbed her sides. "Yeah, we missed you too."

Standing, Tony slipped his hands in his pockets. "Thanks for keeping her. We really appreciate it."

CJ, standing in front of Brent, leaned into him, holding his arm across her. "Where's Ziva?"

He glanced out the window. "In the car."

Brent felt helpless. "Can we do anything?"

Tony shrugged. "Wish I knew. I got her away, that was all I could think of. I don't know what happens now."

Ryan looked up at him. "Can I go say hi?"

He hesitated, then nodded. "Sure. She'll be glad to see you."

The boy shoved his feet into boots and wrestled with his coat, already halfway out the door. He ran down the drive and knocked on the car window. "Aunt Ziva?"

She forced a small smile and opened the door. "Hello chamudi."

Ryan frowned at her expression. "You look sad. Want a hug?"

"I would like that," she said softly. He perched on the seat and nestled against her. Ziva held him close and breathed in his little boy scent. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You weren't at Thanksgiving," Ryan pointed out.

She smoothed his hair. "I'm sorry we missed it."

Ryan sighed. "That's okay. Aunt Cassie said it was a bad case." He smiled at her shyly. "I'm adopted."

Ziva felt even worse for not being there. "That is wonderful. Does it change how you feel?"

Ryan shook his head. "Not really. He's been my dad for a long time. And we already got married. But adopted is nice too, so everybody knows."

"I'm glad you told me." The effort to keep up a good front for the child was exhausting. "Did Meira behave?"

"Uh huh. She was good." He giggled. "She stole Cody's rope and he chased her all over the house. It was really funny." Ryan leaned close and whispered. "We got Meira a new bunny for Christmas. Her old one is falling apart."

"I know," Ziva nodded. "She loves it very much. That was the first present she got that was not from Uncle Tony and I."

His brow furrowed. "Do you think Meira will like the new one too?"

"Is it the same?"

"Yup. Dad picked it out, just like last time."

"Good." Ziva's smile was a glimmer. "We will think of a way to switch them so she does not notice." At her limit, she was relieved to see Tony appear behind Ryan.

"Your mom says it's cold out and time to go in Ry." He ruffled the boy's hair. "Thanks for taking care for of Meira."

"She can sleep over anytime," Ryan told him seriously. He looked at Ziva. "Bye."

"Shalom." He ran back inside and Ziva visibly crumpled. Meira licked her hand, resting her muzzle on Ziva's knee. Her fingers stroked the dog's soft head. "Ani mitzta'eret motek, I do not have anything left."

Tony gave Meira a treat from their secret glove box stash, then opened the back door for her to climb in. Silence reigned supreme on the way home and Tony brought in their bags, then took Meira for a walk without asking Ziva to come. She'd only gotten partway through making tea when he returned and he carefully moved her aside to finish the process. He'd just set a steaming cup in front of her when the doorbell rang and their eyes met.

"Expecting company?" She shook her head slowly and Tony reached for his gun, though an unfriendly party was not likely to announce themselves. One glance through the peekhole and he relaxed, swinging the door open and staring at Mark.

"I see the grapevine in this group still works just fine." He held his arm out. "Want to come in?"

"Actually, I'm borrowing you for a walk and a cup of coffee, if it's okay with Ziva."

Ziva came up beside him, Meira stuck to her left leg. "Hello Mark." She shrugged. "That is fine."

Tony rubbed the dog's head. "Meira will take care of our girl here." He settled his hand at Ziva's waist. "I won't be long. Take it easy, okay?"

Slender, cold fingers crept up to rest on his cheeks and Ziva brought his face to hers, kissing him lightly. "I love you," she whispered.

He breathed an echo of the words on her lips and closed his eyes, stealing a last caress before heading out the door. Mark rolled his eyes. "And you guys complain about me and Cassie."

Tony shoved his shoulder. "Hey, I'm lucky I even got a kiss." He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at the door. "Actually, I'm surprised she reached out. It's like after we brought her home all over again, losing her to everything inside her head. So you won't hear me complaining."

Mark handed him a still hot to go cup. "Jamaican, with enough sugar to take down the Easter Bunny." They fell into step on the sidewalk and he sipped his drink. "So, you don't write, you don't call, you skip Thanksgiving...your armchair shrink is in. Talk to me man."

Tony sampled his coffee and appreciated the years of friendship that allowed Mark to get it right. "I left a message with Swish."

"Right. And when Cassie gets her hands on you you're going to regret not telling her in person. She's been praying like crazy all weekend. Plus, she had to explain it to the kids."

Tony winced. "There was little else in my head other than getting Zi out of DC. I never thought any further than that."

Mark quirked an eyebrow. "Do I guess correctly that Ziva's dad was actually here? I doubt a phone call would rattle you guys enough to split."

"We weren't running away," Tony bristled, kicking a pebble. "But I've never seen her that close to breaking before and it freaked me out."

"What happened D?" Mark asked quietly.

Tony dragged a hand down his face. "Eli was here, but not for Ziva. He owed our director a favour. He spent less than ten minutes with her total and still messed her up so badly that she got drunk for the first time in years. Cried herself to sleep. She told him he was out of chances and took half a day off after he left. She was losing it by the time I could get home to be with her." He clutched the cup a little tighter and sighed. "It's been a rough week Papa Smurf."

Mark absorbed the story without comment. "What can we do?" he asked at last.

"The hardest part is knowing there probably isn't anything that will help." Tony slid one hand into his jean's pocket. "Right now I'm just going to try to hold onto her tight enough that she can't totally leave me. Unfortunately the rest is up to her. This last year has made her so much stronger, but opening up to all of us again left her vulnerable and she still needs to fight this battle." He swallowed. "I just don't know how to make her see she doesn't have to be in this alone." His voice fell to a whisper. "I'm so terrified of losing her Mark. That one day it'll all be too much and she'll completely shut down. I think she's at her limit."

Mark laid a hand on Tony's back. "You're not alone D. We are all here for you. If you need anything, ask. And don't take this the wrong way, but now would be a good time for you to be leaning on God too." He saw the retort forming on Tony's tongue and shook his head. "I have to throw it out there once in awhile. Seriously though, because we care those of us who do believe will be praying. You might not be sure yet that it makes a difference, but we do."

Tony cleared his throat. "Yeah, thanks." God may not have done him any favours when he was a kid, but Tony felt like he'd always owe the Big Man for bringing Ziva back to him.

"I'm up for sparring at the gym if you want to work out some of the stress," Mark offered.

Tony looked back the way they'd come. "Not that I don't love your company, but right now I really want to be with my wife."

"Fair enough."

They finished their coffee, tossed the empty cups in a snow dusted trash can, and didn't say much until they were in front of Tony and Ziva's house. Tony rubbed the back of his neck. "Tell Cassie I'm sorry for making her worry. Think it'll help if I bring her a cupcake next time?"

Mark chuckled. "You might have to scour the city, but a raspberry lemonade one will go a long way towards getting back in the good books."

"I'll see what I can do." He held out a hand. "Thanks Mark, really." He glanced over his shoulder. "We both appreciate it."

Mark shook his hand. "I hope it's not necessary very often, but I'm here anytime. You can't get away from brothers."

"No," Tony agreed. "And I'm grateful. Family isn't something to take for granted." He walked up the steps. "Later."

Inside he found Ziva curled up on the couch, staring at a blank TV screen. Her mug of tea was on the table where she left it and Meira laying on the floor, sad eyes shifting to look at him as if begging him to fix this. Tony toed off his shoes and joined her, sitting close. Slowly he held out his hand, palm up. It was ages before Ziva's gaze drifted his direction and she stared at his offering so long he wanted to shake some animation back into her. With excruciating hesitation she lifted her own hand, aligned their palms, and slid her fingers between his.

Intense relief flooded Tony and he brought their joined hands to his lips, kissing the back of hers. "At lo levad," he whispered.

Tears welled up in Ziva's eyes and she leaned her head on his shoulder, tucking her other hand around his arm. Her knees fell over to rest on his lap and Tony rubbed his thumb over her jeans. They might be stuck in the darkness of yet another nightmare, but he was confident they'd make it through as long as neither one ever let go.

**NCIS**

**Monday November 29**

Dogs had a sense about things Tony knew, but it was more evident as he watched Meira stick to Ziva like glue from the moment she got out of bed that morning until he gently pushed her aside so he could close the door. Ziva was silent as they drove to work, not questioning the carpooling he planned to insist on until she was acting like herself again. Tony didn't think she'd uttered one word since 'I love you' when Mark came and twelve hours later he really missed her voice.

Gibbs met them at the elevator and motioned for Tony to go ahead. He cupped Ziva's cheek. "How ya doin' kid?"

Ziva's mournful expression looked back at him. "Maybe I am not even here. Everything feels like a dream right now Abba. I do not know how to wake up."

Gibbs sighed. "Maybe you're afraid to. Then you'd have to feel it." She frowned and he shrugged. "Been there." He hadn't moved his hand and she closed her eyes, leaning into the touch. Gibbs moved closer. "Do I need to bench you today?"

Ziva stepped back as if burned and the mask they'd worked so hard to crack slid back into place. "Perhaps that is best. If you'll excuse me."

She retreated to the bathroom and Gibbs watched Tony look after her. He half-rose and Gibbs strode across the room. "Stay." Tony opened his mouth to protest and his boss shook his head. "Give her space. She processes things alone and I'm guessing there wasn't much of that this weekend." His penetrating stare made the senior field agent squirm but he kept his mouth shut. Gibbs sighed. "She'll come around. But she's riding a desk today." He didn't imagine Tony's relief at the news and tried not to read too much into it. The man had already admitted to being in love with his partner, he wasn't likely to let anything else slip, and for one of the first times Gibbs wondered if he was better off not knowing.

**NCIS**

Tony finished packing up his things at the end of the day and stopped in front of his wife's desk. "I can drop you off at Ops, if you want." The exertion might do her some good.

She didn't look up. "I'm not going."

"Oh." The break in her normal routine was all the more worrisome with what they were facing now. He watched her work. "Are you almost done?"

Ziva opened a new folder. "I want to finish these."

'These' was a stack several reports thick. "Right." Tony shoved his hands in his pockets. "So how were you planning to get home?" Her eyes flickered to him briefly and his jaw clenched. "If you say walk I'm going to handcuff you to the desk."

"I can pick handcuffs," she informed her husband.

He slapped an open hand on her desk, making her jump. "Ziva!"

She sighed. "I may be in the mood to take the bus tonight."

With her current level of awareness that choice didn't seem wise. Tony scanned the area to be certain they were alone before taking out his wallet. "I'd rather you called a cab." Ziva stared at the money and Tony forced back his rising irritation. "Please."

She nodded once and returned her fingers to the keyboard. Feeling a headache coming on, Tony rubbed his forehead and decided some time in the training gym was warranted. He took his time with the workout and stayed in the shower until hot water ran cool. At home Tony took Meira for a long walk and put on a movie while he whipped up Ziva's mac and cheese recipe, adding extra bread crumbs for the topping because he knew it was her favourite part, and hoped comfort food might tempt her to eat.

Thinking about that made Tony wonder if she'd had any food yet today. Toast for breakfast had only been picked at, though she did drink the juice. Ziva hadn't put in a lunch order and only finished half the tea he'd brought her. That was going on four days with barely anything and it made his skin crawl. This time she was depriving herself of nutrients her body needed, not okay. He waited as long as he could and finally texted her to ask for an ETA. She didn't respond for almost half an hour and then it was only to inform him that she planned to sleep at work tonight as she didn't want to interrupt the flow. Tony pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and sighed. She couldn't get much further away if she tried.

His appetite gone, he put supper in the fridge and was heading to bed when he noticed a light blinking on the answering machine. Not sure if he could handle anything more, Tony pressed the button warily and waited. He needn't have worried because a moment later Nettie's voice filled the air. "Zivaleh? Are you there?" She sighed. "You ended our conversation very abruptly, I am worried about you. Call me, please motek, I would like to hear your voice. Or if you do not feel like talking, have Anthony contact me so I know how you are doing. I love you both. Shalom."

The date on the message was Thursday night, so they hadn't been around to get it anyways, but he was surprised they hadn't noticed it when they got home. Then again, there were other things on their minds. Wandering slowly into their room he flopped back on the empty bed and closed his eyes, unable to deal with anyone else's emotions right now. He made a mental note to mention it to Ziva if? when? she ever decided to come back to him.

**NCIS**

They were only a few minutes into their late conversation when Celeste paused in the middle of a story. "Jethro," she said softly, "what's wrong?"

Gibbs covered his face with one hand and closed his eyes. He'd been trying so hard to keep her from noticing, not because he didn't want to share but because she had a right to at least one conversation that steered clear of his issues. "Can't fool you, huh?"

"You gave it good shot, but I can tell when something's bothering you. Shall I guess?"

He shook his head. "Probably wouldn't even need three tries."

Considering the discussions from last week it wasn't hard to pick which one of his kids was the center of attention now. "Ziva."

Gibbs wedged the phone between his cheek and shoulder again, picking up the small piece of wood he was shaping. Keeping his hands busy made talking easier. "I'm worried. There's something wrong Les."

"Something besides the obvious?" Having Eli David show up clearly set off an unexpected chain of events.

"You shoulda seen her today, like a hollowed out copy with no life left. She's regressing, just like she did after we brought her back. I don't want to watch it happen again."

"Perhaps you should do something else then." There was a time to be sympathetic and a time to offer practical advice. Celeste felt this to be the latter.

He frowned. "How do you mean?"

"Watching and worrying is all well and good Jethro, but she doesn't need an absentee boss observing her from the safe distance of his desk. What your girl needs is a father who loves her even when the going's tough."

"I do," Gibbs spit out indignantly.

"I know," Celeste returned gently. "But you need to show her."

"Not good at that sort of stuff," he grumbled, irritated at everything.

"How about something simple then?" his companion suggested

"How simple?"

"Do you think you can manage dinner? I know you can cook even if you pretend to be useless in the kitchen so you can mooch off my cooking."

"I help," he interjected.

Celeste chuckled. "Yes. And you make a very handy sous chef. But you're in charge this time. My guess is if you can get her in the front door that will already be progress."

Gibbs snorted. "I just won't give her a choice."

"There's the man I know." She smiled. "I'm glad you have them Jethro. It's not good to be alone."

If that wasn't a weighted sentence he didn't know what was. A month of talking to her a couple times a week and already Gibbs wanted to say something too serious about wanting Celeste in his life too, and wanting to be there for her so neither one of them felt alone. But now was too soon for any of that, so he had to content himself with a heartfelt, "Thanks Les," before clearing his throat and returning to the previous topic. "You never got to the end. What happened after your meeting?"

Pleased that he remembered and wanted to keep their conversation going, Celeste got up to make more tea while she filled him in on the rest. The nights they talked were her favourite part of the week.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday November 30**

Feeling rather unsure of himself but needing to try nevertheless, Tony walked into work the next morning and carefully placed a tapioca cup and plastic spoon on his wife's desk. If nothing else it could serve as at least a semblance of breakfast. He hadn't been surprised to see her already engrossed in the reports even though he purposely came early to avoid making a scene in front of the others. "Ziva." At first she wouldn't meet his eyes but the tone of voice must've been enough because she did turn to him when he repeated her name and crouched by her desk, waiting. "Ziva, you have to eat something. Please."

Resigning herself to the inevitable, Ziva pulled back the covering and scooped a little white pudding onto her spoon. She swallowed and reached for another but her stomach rolled, causing her to push the container away. His hope drained away and she could see the change in his posture. "That doesn't count."

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I am not doing this on purpose Tony." His expression was skeptical so she elaborated. "Remember that you also have trouble eating when things are bad and you're grieving. Like with Jenny...and me." Reminding him of Somalia seemed like a low blow, but he needed to understand that he'd been there too. "I cannot help it. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too." He got to his feet and retreated across the bullpen, flickering one anguished glance at her before logging into the system.

The look in her husband's eyes was what started breaking through all of the crud in her head and at nine am Ziva made a personal call from the alcove. She fidgeted as she waited to be transferred and drew in a breath when the familiar voice came over the line. "Ziva?"

She clenched her fingers, unused to asking for help. "Hello Honora. I was wondering if you could make time to see me today."

Dr. Maitland checked her schedule. "Why don't you come down on your lunch break? Will Tony be joining you?"

Ziva swiftly shook her head. "No. I need...I just need to talk to someone my words won't hurt."

"Alright. I'll see you in a few hours then." She paused. "I'm glad you called."

"Yes," Ziva breathed out slowly. "So am I."

**NCIS**

When Ziva disappeared at lunch, presumably so no one could try and coax food into her, Tony took a moment to examine her desk. All the reports from last night had been cleared and the piles of folders on his desk and McGee's appeared to be shrinking. It seemed like she was punishing herself with all the extra work, but as none of this was her fault he couldn't figure out why.

Ziva was quiet when she came back, but more thoughtful instead of totally morose. She left the building at his side without complaint when they were dismissed and Tony ordered take out from her favourite restaurant, looking for something that would get her to eat. For a moment there was a glimmer of interest in her eyes, but it was quickly snuffed out as she murmured a quiet 'no thank you' and went to their room to change.

For the rest of the night Ziva moved noiselessly around the house in dark clothes. And though she did not bar him from her personal space, neither did she seek out his presence. While she was in the office recording Hebrew characters in her journal, Tony took a small card from the kitchen catch-all drawer and wrote a note to his wife. Love letters had always been an important part of their life together. He couldn't help but feel this one was so much more important because she wasn't hearing him out loud right now.

He left it propped up on her pillow and whistled for Meira. The dog was reluctant to leave Ziva but as soon as she saw the leash her tail wagged. "Come on pretty girl," Tony said softly, "let's take a jaunt around the neighbourhood."

Glad for some time without her husband pretending not to hover, Ziva took the opportunity to shower and get ready for bed. She found the card after putting on pjs and sat down, the damp hair towel in her lap. It wasn't long, just a few lines, but she heard his concern as clearly as if he was standing in the room. _Ziva, I love you. I miss you. It's so hard to watch you like this when I don't know what's going on inside your head and heart. Let me help, please_. She could almost hear his sigh. _I wish you wouldn't wear black honey. It just spells that something is wrong in big capital letters. I'm here for you always. T._

A single tear splattered on the paper when she finished reading and she lay it carefully on the bedside table. Ziva looked in his direction when he got back, lifting her face and letting him kiss her, but that was all she could offer. The past was dragging her under like a current and she didn't know if she had the will or strength to swim out of it one more time.

**NCIS**

Brent and Ryan were squeezing the last few drops of daylight out while playing catch in the backyard, with Cody doing his level best to scare away the few squirrels brave enough to live there. After snagging a more difficult pass Ryan pounded the ball in his mitt a few times, then looked up at the man he'd chosen as his father. "Do you think my other dad will come back someday and want me?"

Though the question seemed rather out of the blue, Brent knew his recent adoption had probably set the boy thinking along those lines. He blew out a breath. "Let's go find your mom buddy."

Ryan's brow furrowed. "Am I in trouble?"

Brent ruffled his son's hair. "Not at all. I just think this needs to be a family conversation." With a hand on his back he guided Ryan inside and they left their stuff in the box by the door, easily finding CJ on the couch with a mug of tea and a book.

"Hon?" he began. "Ryan had a question I thought you should answer."

The boy glanced at his dad and Brent nodded. "It's okay. Ask her."

Ryan turned to CJ and swallowed. "I was just wondering, do you think my other dad will come back someday and want me?" He understood adoption meant forever, but that didn't stop him from worrying that something could change.

The shocked expression on CJ's face made Brent wish there'd been a way to warn her what was coming, but she quickly schooled her features and set her hands on Ryan's waist. "He can't come back monkey. He died in a motorcycle accident a year and a half ago. I'm sorry." She cupped his cheek. "I didn't know how to tell you. Do you think about him a lot?"

Not sure if he should be sad because his other dad died or relieved that no one could take him away from Coach, Ryan shook his head. "Not really. Only since I got adopted." He held her gaze. "Mom, what was his name?"

"Jason," she answered softly, hoping he wouldn't ask for any more. She didn't want to have to tell him the whole story.

He nodded. "Okay. Can I go to my room?"

Husband and wife exchanged worried looks and Brent squeezed Ryan's shoulder. "Sure Ry. We'll come up to tuck you in."

Cody, flopped down by the couch, raised his head and whined as his boy started to leave. "Can Cody come too?"

This night of any he deserved the indulgence. "You bet," CJ replied, watching them go.

As soon as Ryan was out of sight Brent sank down beside his wife and hugged her close. "Didn't see that one coming, huh?"

"Not at all." She covered her face with both hands. "The last time he even mentioned Jason was last December after the skating when-" She cut herself off, remembering the conversation in vivid detail.

Brent bumped her shoulder. "When what Kris?"

CJ gave him a shy smile. "When he told me it was okay that Jason couldn't stay with us and he wished Coach could be his dad."

"Whoa." He hadn't been expecting that. "December? He started thinking about me that way in December? Geez, it's no wonder he couldn't hold it in anymore by June." Brent shook his head in amazement. "Ryan's quite a kid."

CJ sighed. "He is. But he also feels really deeply. I...don't know how he's going to take this news."

He wrapped both of his hands around hers. "We'll be here for him honey, whatever he needs."

Her palm came to rest on his cheek and she kissed him gently. "Thank you for being the daddy he deserves beloved. I never even could've imagined you."

Brent couldn't find the words to thank her for that and instead folded her into his arms. They'd just stay here for awhile together until their son needed them. Being Ryan's dad was a gift he would never take for granted.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday December 1**

The reports left on their desks were very few by the time Tony and McGee came back from lunch. McGee took a promised treat down to Abby while Tony hung back, his gaze fixed on his partner. He had no idea how long he stood there watching before Gibbs came up behind and caught the direction of his stare. "Don't rush her DiNozzo," he warned. "She's got a lot to figure out, work through, and settle for herself."

Tony sighed. "Maybe. But Boss, this isn't Ziva. I've never seen her so...absent. I mean she's here, she's working, but she's just going through the motions." He jammed his hands in his pockets. "I don't want to lose her again."

Somalia loomed large in Gibbs' memory, the empty shell of a prodigal daughter as seen through the rifle scope that had to save their lives. He shook his head to dislodge the picture, agreeing with Tony on all counts. For awhile they stood as silent guardians and when he finally sent Tony back to his desk, Gibbs stopped beside Ziva. "Dinner at my place."

Her gaze drifted to Tony before remembering his opinion shouldn't make a difference and she shrugged, not saying yes or no.

Gibbs nodded. "I'll expect you at 1900."

Hours later as the sun sank lower in the sky, Tony waited at the bottom of the stairs for Gibbs to come down after meeting with Vance. "Boss." The older man stopped and waited. "Uh...this is the first night of Hanukkah. I know Ziva probably doesn't feel much like celebrating, but I thought maybe I'd get her started, try to cheer her up."

Gibbs' blue gaze bored into his but found no ulterior motives. "Go."

"Thanks." Tony jogged over and knelt by Ziva's desk. Their boss watched while he presented his offer. At first she shook her heard no, but Tony added something else and her brow furrowed. Finally she gave a single nod and reached for her coat. They left together, Tony's hand hovering at the small of her back and Gibbs decided he must be getting soft. He was practically encouraging and approving of Rule 12 infractions. He needed to get a grip.

**NCIS**

Though the candles should've been lit when they walked in the door Meira had urgently needed to go out, so Tony told Ziva he'd be right back and took her for what was supposed to be a quick tour around the block but ended up being more lengthy than expected, stopping to get mail on the way in. Once inside he didn't see his wife but after a quick check of the other rooms he found her sitting out on the back porch staring at the yard and wondered how long she'd been there. Grabbing a blanket from the couch because it was forty-one degrees out and she was just wearing a hoody, he went to join her. Wrapping the fleece around her shoulders, he kissed the top of her head and sat by her side. "What's on your mind?"

Ziva looked down at her clasped fingers. "I was thinking about Issac."

He let out a breath. Eli's visit and her resulting breakdown had brought up so much of her past with Israel and Mossad, many things he wished could've stayed buried. "That was years ago honey."

It was like he hadn't spoken. "I've been trying to decide if I could've done anything differently, but I don't see a way out." She sighed. "What I gave him was easy. Maybe-"

"No." Tony wasn't going to let her get away with that. He took one of her chilled hands in his. "That wrecked you emotionally. He hurt you Ziva. It wasn't easy at all."

Ziva continued as if she hadn't heard him. "And with Daniel on the ship. There had to be some other way to keep him from getting shot. But I don't know how and I hurt you Tony, I always hurt you with my actions." Without warning she dissolved into tears, bending over and hiding her face in her hands. "I'm sorry ahava, I'm so sorry."

Tony wrapped her tightly in his arms. "Oh Ziva, no." The deep wrenching cries made it sound like the grief was coming from the center of her being. "Babe, you're breaking my heart here." For awhile he couldn't get through, but slowly the storm passed and her tears faded until only there was only the occasional sniffle. His lips brushed her temple. "I forgave you Zi, for everything. Remember? Just like you forgave me. It's over, it's done, it's in the past. You don't have to bring it up or feel bad about it anymore."

She pushed away from him. "You have had to forgive too much! And there is too little that I have forgiven for you. I am the problem Tony, can't you see?" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I wonder what Michael would've done to me if he knew it was I who pulled the trigger and ended Ari's life. Maybe he would've just killed me too and gotten it over with. He never would've forgiven me for such a betrayal. Maybe that way would've been best."

Yeah, because he really wanted her thinking like that again, like being alive was too hard and death would've been easier than slogging through all this muck that came with her memories. "Ziva-" he tried to interrupt, but there was no getting through to her when she was in this frame of mind.

She stood up and the blanket fell away as she paced across the deck. "My past is a black hole, always sucking me back in. I cannot escape from it. There is nowhere to go that is safe."

Tony rose to his feet and got in her way, cupping her face in his hands. "I'm safe Ziva. I love you. And I'll be your anchor when the past tries to swallow you whole because I won't let you go." He kissed her lips ever so gently, pulling away before she could think to respond. "You are not a problem. You are the light of my heart and I love you to the depths of my soul. My life is nothing without you in it. Trust me, I know."

Ziva didn't feel good enough to be labeled that way. It was impossible to deserve what he thought of her, the way he felt. And yet she didn't know how to live any other way. Tony had become her salvation. He'd saved her, rescued her, and been her life preserver more times than she could count, always drawing her back away from dark thoughts and feelings that threatened to consume her. Even though the ground felt shaky beneath her feet these days, like nothing about her life was certain, there was one thing she could count on and that was his love. Grasping onto him like a lifeline, she nestled against his chest and felt his arms come around her. She couldn't necessarily believe the truths he was telling her, but right now he was her rock and that was all she needed.

**NCIS**

Abby grabbed the popcorn out of the microwave and held it with the tips of her fingers as she pulled the sides apart. "Have you tried talking to Ziva?" she asked her best friend, who was in charge of picking out tonight's film.

"Sure I've tried Abby, but no one's talking to Ziva right now. Or rather," he amended, "she's not talking to any of us. Not to me, not Gibbs, not even Tony." His tone showed how serious that omission was.

She came over with a polka dot bowl filled to the brim with their buttery snack. "Do you ever wonder what Eli did to her?" Abby sank down on the plush red sofa. "I mean, she's taking this whole thing really hard."

Tim slid a DVD off the shelf and tapped it against his palm. "I know Tony blames him for just about everything that's happened since Somalia. Some things I've heard, others I've discovered, and a lot I've just guessed at, but none of it is good."

Abby tucked her hand around his elbow, her head resting on his shoulder. "Is she going to be okay?"

It was a soft whisper undertoned with the fear that their family might never be the same. McGee sighed. "I hope so. But Tony would be the best one to help her and from everything I see she's shutting him out too."

A month's old confidence shared in the back elevator sprang to Abby's mind and was on the tip of her tongue, but for once she kept quiet. A promise was a promise so she couldn't even tell McGee that Ziva had admitted to loving Tony. She wondered if he already knew, if he could see it in the way they interacted day after day when he spent at least twelve hours each day in the company of his teammates, leaving ample time for observation. And anyways, that truth didn't comfort the forensic scientist tonight. Because if Ziva was in love with her partner and he was the only one who could get through to her, she had a funny way of showing it by not letting him in.

"They'll figure it out Timmy," she finally responded more confidently than she felt. "Nothing has broken them in five years. I don't think this will either."

He squeezed her hand gently. "I sure hope you're right."

_Yes_, Abby thought silently, _me too_.

**NCIS**

The sky was dark when they finally made it back inside the house and Tony only let go of her long enough to rummage through the closet for the menorah and candles, then grabbed a book of matches from a kitchen cupboard. Ziva watched the preparations and sighed. "Tony, it is sweet of you to remember, but I am really not in the mood this year."

He lit the middle Shamash candle and the first one on the right. "I know Zi, but it's tradition and that's important." He held out his hand. "Will you help me with the words? I want to know it in Hebrew."

Relenting, Ziva stepped forward and slowly spoke the blessings, repeating them in English because Tony wouldn't recognize all of the Hebrew words yet. Every time he made an effort to learn her language she fell in love with him a little bit more. It was just a shame she was too empty tonight to tell him that. "_Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha'olam, asher kidshanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Hanukkah_. Blessed are You, O Lord Our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who has sanctified us with Your commandments and commanded us to kindle the lights of Hanukkah. _Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha'olam, she'asah nisim l'avoteinu, b'yamim haheim bazman hazeh._ Blessed are You, O Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who made miracles for our forefathers in those days at this time. _Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha'olam, shehekheyanu, v'kiyamanu vehegianu lazman hazeh_. Blessed are You, O Lord Our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who has kept us alive, sustained us and brought us to this season."

Tony dutifully echoed each sentence, trying to commit the blessings to memory but knowing it would take endless repetition before he'd be comfortable saying them by himself or confident that he'd get them right. When they finished he handed her a small box. "Open it."

She did and found a beautiful delicate butterfly clip. Tony gently gathered a layer of hair back from her face and fastened the new accessory, then slid his arms around her waist. "It's for new life Ziva. I don't want you to forget you have one with me, here in DC." He nuzzled her neck. "Leave the desert in Africa and Israel, please honey."

Ziva turned and studied his caring green eyes, then covered his mouth with hers for an all too swift moment. "I'll try," she whispered, leaning against his chest. "I'll try." Her lips brushed his collarbone. "Thank you." The words were faint but her effort was clear.

He breathed a shaky sigh into her hair. She just had to be okay. No other result was acceptable.

How long she rested in the shelter of his arms Ziva did not know, but gradually she became aware of the time and looked towards the clock. "It's six-fifteen." They would have to leave by six-thirty to get her to Gibbs' house on time.

Tony rubbed the back of her neck. "I wish I could come with you."

Her gaze shuttered. "That is not possible."

He held her chin. "I didn't mean it as pressure honey, I just like being around for moral support."

She touched his chest briefly. "I know. I think I will change into something that is appropriate for going out."

The shroud of memories still hung around her, she was quiet in a way that made him uncomfortable. It never turned out well for them when she got that deep inside herself. Ziva came out of the bedroom wearing a typical classy outfit, though he noticed she'd left her hair the way he did it. Her fingers came up to brush the base of her throat and Tony reached for his wallet, pulling out the gold Star of David he'd tucked inside for safekeeping. He approached his wife slowly. "May I?"

Nodding slowly, she faced away to let him fasten the chain and wondered if it was just her imagination or if the pendant felt heavier than usual. She offered the most pathetic excuse for a smile he'd ever seen and headed for the door, leaving him to follow in her wake. There was no question that he'd be driving her, she obviously wasn't to be trusted with operating a vehicle or paying the necessary attention such a task required. He dropped her off just down the street from their boss's residence, brushing a kiss across her cheek as she got out.

"I will...text you when we are done," she offered, hoping Gibbs wouldn't try to insist on driving her home. If he caught her picking the lock at the apartment building where she didn't live more questions would be raised than she was willing to answer. "I may start walking home while I wait."

"Do you have your phone?" Ziva frowned and patted her pockets absently. Tony sighed and handed the device over. She'd forgotten to get it out of her purse, so he was glad for the foresight.

"Thank you."

"Good luck." He watched her take slow steps towards Gibbs' house and found a place to pull over and park once she rounded the hedge. From numerous stakeouts and other delays he'd learned to leave reading material in the car. There was a book and a handful of magazines stashed under the seats, which was a good thing because it looked like he'd be keeping vigil until she was ready to go. There was no way he was letting her walk after everything he'd seen in the last few days. As hard he found the fact to admit, he wasn't certain she was safe to be alone with herself.

**NCIS**

It cost Ziva a lot of effort to raise her hand and knock on the door. Gibbs opened it only moments later, studying her. "Could've just come in."

She shrugged. "It is polite to knock."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't stand on ceremony with me kid. This is yours as much as mine." And he wished it had been hers. He wished he could've been the father she needed right after Somalia, the one who would dry her tears, soothe her nightmares and tell her everything was going to be alright. That she hadn't trusted his love enough to come to him the first night still broke his heart a little. Some things couldn't be made up for.

Stepping inside, she followed him to the set table and stood off to the side, eyes fixed on the floor. "I know you said dinner G-" She paused and he gave her the space to figure out if she was ready to label him that way on the heels of everything else. "Abba," Ziva continued after a long moment, having settled the question inside herself. "But I am not very hungry. I'm sorry."

Gibbs waited until her gaze flickered to him briefly. "When's the last time you ate Ziver?"

Her fingers clenched and she debated the merits of Rule 7 before giving in. "Half a sandwich Sunday morning, tea and juice since then."

His stomach knotted and he indicated her chair. "Sit."

"But I am not-"

"Ziva," he ordered, "sit in that chair and eat something. You're not leaving 'til you do."

Her eyes held a shade of disbelief but he would never forget what she looked like coming out of the camp at ninety pounds and the long months of work it took before she was even a little bit like herself again. Whatever she saw in him, Ziva quickly realized there was no getting around it this time. Timidly she sat down and eyed the vegetables, meat, and potatoes filling her plate. Wrinkling her nose, she speared a carrot slice and chewed it slowly, shooting a glare his direction after she swallowed.

"Happy now?"

"Not until you eat half of it." Her mouth fell open and Gibbs felt like he was bargaining with Kelly again, five more bites until she could leave the table and go outside to play with Maddie.

"Half?" Even if she was hungry that didn't seem like a possibility.

"You heard me."

Acting now like a chastised child, she bent her head and concentrated on her plate, eating with excruciating deliberation. Absolutely certain he couldn't just sit there and watch her for however long the process took, Gibbs cleared his throat. "Kelly loved CareBears and Cabbage Patch dolls. She had every book, every movie, and I always knew what to get her for special occasions. The joy on her face when I brought home a new toy for her collection outshone the sun and I did everything I could to make it stay there." He cracked a small smile. "Shannon called me a pushover."

Ziva looked up sharply at the mention of his daughter's name, her dark eyes scrutinizing the softness of his expression as he talked about her. Gibbs nudged the hand that held her fork and continued after she took a bite of mashed potatoes. "I remember one time, she couldn't've been more than three, Kelly sneaked out of bed and made it all the way to the basement without catching Shannon's attention. Tiny little bare feet took the steps carefully one at a time, I didn't even notice her until the very last one. 'Kelly Ann Gibbs' I said in my best Marine voice, 'what are you doing down here?'"

The young woman he endeavoured to distract was riveted to his every word, not even paying attention to the small forkfuls of food making their way to her mouth at a steady pace. Enjoying his success, though it came at the price of heartache from remembering his little girl, he continued. "She came over in her Strawberry Shortcake pjs, leaned her arms on my knee and whispered, 'Daddy, teach me to make a boat.'" Gibbs chuckled. "I couldn't say no to those eyes. I picked her up and sat her on my knee, showed her how to use the sandpaper on a wood piece laying on my workbench. We made it half an hour without being caught, but Shannon eventually found us out. The way I heard the story, we both looked at her with the same pleading expression and matching blue eyes and she didn't have the heart to get us in trouble."

His eyes crinkled with a real smile and Ziva had a hard time believing this was the same man who sat in the squadroom every day without saying ten words to anyone. He aimed a pointed glance at her plate and a few more installments of 'The Kelly Years' were needed before Ziva set down her fork and insisted she couldn't manage another bite. "It was delicious," she commented quietly. "I did not know you could cook."

"Shannon always said there was more to life than steak and cereal."

Her brow furrowed and she twisted the napkin in her lap. "Why tell me about her now?" It was both a formidable distraction technique and an answer to her long ago request, one she hadn't been sure would ever be resolved.

Gibbs folded his fingers around hers. "Told you if you kept coming back I'd eventually get around to it."

Ziva's heart and head were swirling, trying to keep up with her own drama as well as the tender grief he'd added to the mix by mentioning Kelly. "Thank you," she whispered.

He kissed her head and got up to clear the table, coming back several minutes later with a hot drink in each hand. "Let's go into the livingroom." They sat close together and she sampled the tea, unsurprised that he would somehow know exactly how she liked it. No words were needed between them and for close to an hour Gibbs simply held her hand, offering his silent love and support. When he eventually put an arm around her shoulders after their mugs were empty, Ziva moved with the gesture and leaned her head on his chest.

She was so quiet he thought she'd fallen asleep, but at last she stirred. "I should go."

"I've got an extra room," he offered.

Her smile was hesitant, brittle, like it might shatter at any second. "Not tonight Abba, thank you."

He stood with her, wrapping his adopted daughter in a tight hug. "I love you Ziver. Don't ever question that."

Ziva couldn't answer and merely kissed his cheek, slipping out the door like a shadow. Gibbs was suddenly glad it was Celeste's turn to call tonight. In the wake of his girl's suffering, he really needed his best friend. And even though it hurt to see her this way, he'd have to thank his ex-wife for the suggestion.

Tony trailed his wife slowly down the street, letting her go four blocks before pulling up alongside and inching the car ahead at her pace. He rolled down the window. "Hey beautiful, going my way?"

She almost smiled, he could see her expression flicker, before the weight of the week stole it away. "Yes. I think I am." Ziva got in and frowned at him. "Have you been here the whole time?" The period spent at Gibbs' house had stretched out much longer than she originally anticipated.

He gave her a look. "Where else did you think I'd be?"

She had no answer for that. He was always within reach, always where she needed him the most, always a constant who refused to give up and let her go. Tony was a great deal too good for her but she would never be able to make him believe that. Fatigue overwhelmed her and Ziva's shoulders slumped. "Ahava, can we please go home?"

Tony kissed the backs of her fingers and gazed at her with nothing but love. "You bet. It's the only place I want to be anyways, as long as I can be there with you." Responding seemed beyond her ability in the moment but he didn't mind. Deep inside he knew she felt the same way, it was just bringing that woman back to the surface which might take some time.

_Replies:_

_Ava - oh wow, it was worth being late for work?! Thanks, that's a huge compliment! :) I'm really glad you enjoyed it. ~Aliyah_

_Guest - thank you. I'm actually quite surprised at the response. I didn't figure a background chapter would be worth much attention so it's nice to know you guys enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest (Ch 16) - according to the show Ziva speaks about 10 languages. I myself love languages but have no gift for them, so it's fun for me to use them in the story when I can. I don't use GoogleTranslate very often, I either research them off the internet elsewhere or get a native speaker to translate for me. I'm not using it to try and say anything about my writing, just because it fits with the character. I hope you're enjoying the story :) ~Aliyah_


	20. 8x9 Enemies Domestic 8

_A/N: Warning - all Hebrew comes from Google, apologies in advance for any mistakes. ~Aliyah_

**Thursday December 2**

Ziva opened her eyes in the darkness and wiped away the wetness on her cheeks. It was absolutely quiet, past the witching hour and not yet early morning, and for awhile she just lay there listening. Very carefully she rolled to her side and sat up, finding solace in the presence of her sleeping husband. Ever so gently she ghosted her palm over his cheek, the cool smooth metal of her wedding ring a welcome weight.

"Chalamti she'ata iti, aval ya shanti levadi. _I dreamt you were with me, but I slept alone_. Haim shaha'ta oti? _Did you forget me?_" Ziva shook her head. "Lo, ani yoda'at zot lo yitachen. _No, I know that is not possible._ Ahava, ani pochedet ani al tishkekhi. _I am afraid I will never forget_. V'ani lo rotza zocheret. _And I don't want to remember_." She sighed. "Ha'im matanah ani o qlalah beloved? _Am I a gift or a curse?_"

Despite her care Tony stirred and moved his head to kiss her palm. "Ma karah?" _What's wrong?_

Ziva quickly withdrew. "Ze klum." _It's nothing._

He slowly blinked his eyes open. "I don't believe you. That was an awful lot of Hebrew you were whispering."

She looked away. "It was just a dream."

"Tagid." _Tell me._

Her shoulders sagged. "Ein ma la'asot?" _What can you do?_

"Ani yachol la'azor lach." _I can help you._

"Eich?" _How?_

He tucked a curl behind her ear. "Ani ma'aritz otach." _I adore you_. That got him a glimmer of a smile. "Ani tamid ohev otach." _I will always love you_. Her defenses started going down. "At nifla, yafa, simchatli bi. _You are amazing, beautiful, my heart's joy_. Yesh lekah einayim yaffot. _You have beautiful eyes_. V'at goremet li le-chayech. _And you make me smile_." Tony beckoned her closer for a kiss. "Don't you remember sweetheart? Le'olam lo titz'adi levad." _You will never walk alone._

Ziva began crying and fell into his arms, letting her husband be her solace and her sanctuary through yet another storm. But only moments later she moved away and reached for Moses, curling up with the stuffed animal in her grip, face buried against his fur. Frowning, Tony touched her shoulder. "Have I fallen out of favour?" He actually thought he'd been doing a pretty good job as comforter. There was a small shake of her head and any words she used to reply were muffled by the toy. He made a frustrated noise. "Can't understand you Zi. What?"

She brought Moses down just enough that he could hear the soft whisper. "You have dealt with too many of my tears lately. It is time to give you a break."

He stared. "What gives you any reason to think I want a break?"

Ziva's sigh was heavy. "It was just a thought."

Tony tugged on the bear's leg. "It was an incorrect thought. Besides, we have a deal. Remember?"

She did. For several seconds her gaze went back and forth between husband and old friend before Moses was gently set again on her nightstand and she lay on her back. "I remember."

He tucked his arm around her waist. "Good. Because I don't want anyone else taking my job."

Her forehead furrowed. "I am a job to you?"

"Not what I meant." A soft kiss graced her cheek. "I promised honey, the day we said our vows. It's my job to love and take care of you all the days of our lives and I take that seriously. Let me keep my promise, okay?"

A slight nod was his only answer but when he gathered her close there was no resistence. She simply melted into his chest and let his strength be all that she was lacking.

**NCIS**

Tony was stroking her hair when she woke up. Ziva's eyes felt puffy and sore from too many tears shed and she wished she didn't also having to face the concern in her husband's expression. He studied her for a long moment, helplessness washing over him. "There's nothing I can do, is there?"

She covered her eyes. "You would feel better if I said yes, but though you have many talents tesoro, rewinding time and preventing Eli from invading our world is not one of them."

His lips brushed her brow. "One of those times I'd give my left arm for a super power."

A barely there smile touched her lips. "I will take both your arms holding me, that is worth more than the ability to undo this weakness."

Tony frowned. "Weakness? Is that what you call it?"

"I have been falling apart for a week and a half," Ziva reported bitterly. "Is there another word to use?"

He sighed. "I'd say it's an acceptable reaction considering the circumstances. But I'm worried about you Zi. You haven't cried this much since...last year." _When everything evoked tears_. "I mean, seeing Eli can't be as bad as what you went through in the camp, right?"

She avoided looking at him. "It is a different kind of pain. And it makes me remember everything else."

Tony hated that truth. He kissed the corner of her mouth, her neck and cuddled close, thoroughly out of advice or meaningless platitudes to offer. Ziva pulled away to go and shower after a few minutes, leaving him empty, alone, and entirely unsure of how to bring his wife back.

**NCIS**

There was a hand drawn card on her desk when they arrived at work decorated with bats and grinning skulls proclaiming in blood red calligraphy - _We Love You Ziva!_ She read it once and slipped the offering in her top drawer, focusing instead on the next cold case folder that needed to be reviewed. Under Gibbs' watchful eye Ziva dutifully ate half the potato soup he brought her for lunch, but a handful of custom chocolates McGee left while she was using the photocopier remained untouched and his hopeful smile slowly faded under the burden of her apathy.

Mid-afternoon the guys were called out for a case while Ziva remained behind. The team leader didn't have to say it, but she couldn't be counted on in the field right now. Thankfully it was a rather easy one with a suspect who didn't know the first thing about covering his tracks and made their job very simple. Three hours later everything was wrapped up in a neat little bow and the team dismissed until tomorrow.

Tony didn't bother attempting to talk to his wife until they were back at home and she stood in front of the sink like she was trying to muster up the motivation to do dishes. He came over and slid his arms around her waist. "Hey Zi?" She merely turned her head to hear the question. "Will you make something from Israel tonight? I'd really like to share that with you."

For some reason the request broke through like nothing else had and Ziva moved to face him, kissing his lips gently, needing to wait only a few seconds before he responded, holding her close. He didn't ask why such a simple petition caused tears, just wiped them away with his thumbs and quirked a half-grin. "Was that a yes?"

She gave a brief laugh, but any animation at all was something to be treasured. "Yes." Her palm came to rest on his cheek. "And thank you for asking."

Tony hovered over her shoulder while Ziva flipped pages in her recipe binder, finally deciding on borekas and Middle Eastern rice with black beans and chick peas. Both were completely foreign to him but anything that caught her interest was a bonus so he willingly followed instructions during preparation and helped with dishes and laundry while they waited for the food to cook. To his surprise he found the meal to be delicious, since he was always a little wary of foods outside the familiar, and complimented his wife's cooking abilities. She chose not to respond to the comment which made him stifle a sigh as he thought about what he could possibly do to draw her out again.

Waiting until they were both finished, and thankfully she ate more tonight than in the last few days combined, he stopped her in the kitchen and slid gentle fingers into her hair. Tony bent his head, bringing her lips to hers. The kiss tasted like pity and Ziva pushed away from him, eyes sparking angrily. "Stop that."

Genuine confusion drew his eyebrows together. "What? Stop kissing you?" That was so not an option no matter how messed up she was feeling.

"No. Stop feeling sorry for me! I'm tired of it!" she fumed. "I don't want to have sex because you're trying to reach me or think it's the only way to get through the memories. I'm sick of being intimate for those reasons. There's been too much communication with sex lately and I'm done."

Tony shoved his hands in his pockets. "Done having sex," he echoed dully.

Frustration darkened Ziva's eyes because he wasn't understanding. "Not done having sex Tony. I just do not want sex for that purpose." She paced across the kitchen. "I want to have sex for fun or because it's something we both want, or in the morning for no reason at all. Or somewhere else because you surprise me and we cannot make it to our room." She felt like stamping her foot to make the point. "But I am weary of pity sex."

Tony was still processing her rant. "It wasn't pity sex. I was making love to you Ziva, every time. Does the why really matter?"

Ziva swallowed. "Yes," she answered softly, all fire gone out of her. "It matters."

He leaned back against the counter. "So now what?"

One shoulder lifted and dropped. "I do not know. Maybe we take a break until this is not so heavy between us. Until sex can be fun again. Until there is no pressure for it to be more."

Tony took one step forward and stopped in front of her, his hands coming up to cradle her face. "That's where you're wrong Ziva. Sex between us, martial intimacy that connects and binds us together, will always be more."

His breath whispered across her lips and the next moment he took over her mouth with a passion that surprised her and she couldn't help but respond in kind. Too quickly it was over and Tony lifted her hand, kissing her ring finger, his eyes never leaving hers. Not another word was spoken because the rest of the conversation was carried out in the intensity of their shared gazes, leaving Ziva with hope that they would make it over yet another hurdle and perhaps the road ahead would be smoother than the one they traveled now. If normal ever showed up and decided to stay for awhile, it would be very welcome indeed.

**NCIS**

She sat alone in the office in the dark after her husband had gone to bed without her, replaying their conversation over and over again. None of this was right. Surging to her feet, Ziva paced back and forth across the quiet room, stopping in front of the bookcase by the sliding door. Yanking out one of her childhood photo albums, she sat in the moonlight and flipped to a page where the family sat, frozen in time with happy smiles that might've been real or posed, she couldn't remember.

Ziva glare daggers at Eli's familiar face. "I hate you," she declared. "For not loving me anymore. For becoming a director and forgetting how to be human. I have spent my life living by your orders but I refuse to let your actions dictate it anymore. I will not let you ruin the good. You have no power here and I am done." Ziva slapped the book closed and returned it to the shelf. "My name is Ziva David-DiNozzo and starting today you are not a part of my new life. Goodbye Eli. I hope you enjoy being alone."

She stood motionless in the quiet and let out a long breath, feeling the cords of oppression slowly loosen from her soul. It was over and she would never let him hurt them again.

**NCIS**

CJ got a call on her cell late in the evening, just before she and Brent were heading up to bed. "Hello?"

"CJ! It's Lindsay."

Hearing the tone in her friend's voice, she frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nikki is sick. She has a really high fever and feels awful. I'm taking her to the hospital." Filled with worry about her twin, Lindsay sounded absolutely frantic.

"Do you need company?" CJ volunteered before even thinking to check with her husband.

"No, thanks. We're fine. But if it's bad and she has to stay there's no one else to teach class tomorrow night. I'm sorry for the late notice, but would you be able to fill in?"

Based on the side of the conversation he could hear, Brent was concerned and he touched her shoulder. CJ glanced at him. "Just a minute Linds, I need to talk to Brent." Covering the phone, she sighed. "Lindsay's sister Nicole is sick, they don't have anyone for class tomorrow. She asked me to help out."

"I think that's a great idea."

Her brow furrowed. "Really?" Her husband was usually very committed to her having a day off.

He nodded. "Of course. It was your decision to quit but I know you've really missed ballet." Brent kissed her cheek. "It's not really work when you're doing it for fun."

CJ grinned and touched his ring. "Thank you for supporting what I love."

"Honey," Brent whispered, "that's my favourite job."

Getting back on the phone, CJ gave Lindsay the answer. "I'd love to. And keep me updated on Nicole please. We'll be praying for her, and you."

"Thanks CJ, you're the best!"

Lindsay hung up and CJ stared at the phone thoughtfully. "If Nicole needs some time off..."

"Then you're the best backup," Brent continued. "You know how I feel about giving yourself a break from work, but this is an opportunity to help out your friends and do something you've always had a passion for."

She bit her lip. "So if I wanted to take a couple classes a month, you'd support me?" It had been six months since she gave up the class to spend more time with her son but now he had two parents, an abundance of personal attention, and a dog to keep him occupied so spending a night out here and there didn't seem as selfish as it used to.

Brent slid his fingers between hers. "I would definitely support you. As much as we love and need you, I think Ry and I can get along with out you from time to time."

CJ leaned forward and fit their lips together. "Thank you beloved. You have no idea how much that means."

He grinned. "If that's the way I get thanked, I'll be sure to make those kind of offers more frequently."

**NCIS**

**Friday December 3**

Tony was disturbed out of sleep by the burning feeling that he was being watched. Groaning, he draped an arm over his face. "Zi," he whined. Just as suddenly it registered in his brain and his eyes snapped open. "Zi?"

She was laying on her side, head propped up on one hand, a slight smile gracing her lips. "Good morning Tony."

Her expression was clear for the first time in days and he looked at her hopefully, lifting her fingers and pressing a kiss to each one. "This looks like improvement."

Ziva reached a hand out to rest on his cheek and he held it there, eager for her touch. "I made a decision last night, after we talked." His gaze encouraged her to keep going. "I refuse to let Eli rule my life anymore or his actions to dictate my feelings. I have no control over what he does but I can control my reaction." She shifted closer. "I'm sorry I have been so distant this week ahava. You did not deserve that. I love you."

Tony curled his arm around her waist and brought her flush against him. He claimed her lips for a long kiss and rested their foreheads together. "Forgiven mia bella. I'm really glad to have you back."

Ziva shifted to her back and Tony leaned over her, dipping his head and kissing her deeply enough to steal her breath. She pushed him back gently and used her fingers to trace each familiar feature. "I still would like to wait Tony, to give making love a break until it can be fun again and less..." her brow furrowed, searching for the word "...burdened, I suppose. Can you be okay with that?" She rubbed her thumb across his bottom lip. "I'm afraid it sounded like a demand yesterday."

Tony worked his fingers into her hair. "I get needing time to process things honey. You've been in the middle of an emotional whirlwind since Eli came. If you can promise it's not forever, then I'm okay with that."

She shook her head, trying to hide the smirk. "Not forever, I promise. I hope it will come back without warning and surprise us both." Her eyes drew him in. "Ani ohev atach."

"Me too," he murmured, drawing his lips over hers, so light it was almost teasing before coming back and getting serious about exploring her warm, willing mouth. Ziva's arms came up to wrap around his neck and Tony took full advantage of the opportunity to enjoy his wife after the last several days of being on the outside looking in.

Separate showers were necessary considering the agreed upon ban of other physical activities, but she laughed at one of his jokes while they made breakfast and when she actually ate most of the food on her plate Tony suddenly felt like a thousand pound weight had been lifted off his shoulders. The drive to work was made with fingers intertwined and it wasn't until halfway there that their eyes met and the couple realized they should've come in two cars.

"Oops," Tony shrugged, unconcerned. "I guess one of us is taking the stairs."

"I will," Ziva volunteered. "The exercise will do me good." Her eyebrows drew together. "I suppose Duke is wondering where I am."

Tony glanced at her. "He called the house Monday night when you didn't show, worried because of your attitude last time. I briefed him. I've been instructed to tell you not to expect any mercy after skipping days, when you're back to yourself."

She smiled and he'd missed the way her eyes lit up. "Will you take me there after work? Perhaps Duke will let you play with the toys, if you are good."

He eyed her with interest. "I've never watched one of your training sessions before. This could be enlightening."

Ziva's brow furrowed. "Maybe you should go get coffee instead."

Tony grinned and shook his head, so happy to have his wife back. "And pass up this opportunity? No thank you. I think I'm going to enjoy the show."

The thought of Tony watching her train made Ziva a bit uncomfortable and self-conscious. But she took in the way he was looking at her and played it up. "In that case, I will have to make it worth your while."

There was a dangerous gleam in her eyes that made Tony wonder what she had planned, but then they were at work and there was no time to ask.

After he parked and walked inside, Ziva counted to thirty before following. She took the stairs at a comfortable pace and strolled into the bullpen where her partner stood smugly behind his desk. "Ha! Not only am I on time, but I beat Speedy Gonzales here. It's going to be a good day."

Ziva scowled and dropped her bag. "We arrived at the same time Tony."

"Yeah, but I got upstairs first."

"Only because you took the elevator!"

He shrugged. "It's not my fault you chose the stairs and are therefore almost a whole minute late."

She glared. "Well if you would try being healthy for once-"

Gibbs rounded the corner. "Knock it off," he growled.

Ziva sank into her chair and observed McGee's hopeful expression. He'd never been so glad to hear them argue before. "Good morning Tim. How was your evening?"

McGee opened his mouth and Tony cut in. "Probably spent an embarrassing number of hours rubbing virtual elbows with wizards, fairies, and attractive female trolls."

Her gaze narrowed. "I was asking McGee."

"Come on Ziva!" Tony protested, gesturing to their co-worker. "You know he didn't do anything interesting last night. His whole life revolves around computers and video games. Why don't you ask me about my night? Come on, ask me what I did."

Ziva flicked a paperclip across the space between their desks and started to stand, morbidly pleased at Tony's sudden fearful expression. But Gibbs pointed at her before she could move. "Sit down. I will not have any blood spilled in the bullpen."

She looked offended. "I can do it without making him bleed."

Gibbs had to bite back a chuckle at her tone. "I need him able to work Ziva."

Her shoulders slumped, then she brightened. "Well, it is only morning." Ziva smiled sweetly at her partner, who was staring at her with horror on his face.

McGee burst out laughing but when Tony turned to him the probie made a quick getaway. He headed to the back elevator still greatly amused. That was one Tommy and Lisa scene definitely making it into his next book. Some things were just too good to pass up.

**NCIS**

A few hours later Gibbs sent Ziva down to the lab for a report on the bloodwork from their current case. She stepped through the door and Abby spun around. "Gi-" Then she grinned and flew at the Israeli. "Ziva!" She threw her arms around her friend. "Welcome back!"

Ziva returned the hug, a bit bewildered. "Thank you Abby, but I have not been away."

Abby pulled back and got serious. "Yes you have, all of this week. And we were so afraid we wouldn't get you back this time."

Ziva understood and embraced the forensic scientist again. "I'm not going anywhere." She sighed with contentment. "It is nice to be home, and loved."

Abby let go and jumped in the air. "We should have a sleepover tonight!"

Startled, Ziva blinked. "Oh?" She wasn't sure what a safe answer was.

"Yeah," the girl elaborated, wandering across the room and ticking things off on her fingers, "with chocolate and chick flicks and Bert. Ooh!" Her eyes lit up. "Let's invite the guys too! We could have it at Tony's apartment because he has more room and I haven't been there in almost forever and ..."

Ziva winced and tuned out the rest. This was as wrinkle they hadn't seen coming. And unless the team caught a case things were going to get very interesting.

"Well?" Abby stopped, spreading her hands. "What do you think?"

Seeing a thousand logistical issues with just the part of the plan she'd heard, let alone what she missed, Ziva hesitated. "It would be nice to spend time together just the two of us. We have not done that in awhile."

Abby melted and ran over to give her another squeeze. "We will Ziva, someday soon I promise. But the team hasn't done anything fun as a group in ages. Do you think Tony will say yes?" Tim wouldn't have a choice as to the answer he gave. She winked. "I bet he will if it means sleeping in the same room with you, even if we are all in sleeping bags."

Ziva felt the first twinges of a headache and her phone vibrated, probably McGee or Tony repeating Gibbs' message to hurry it up. "I need the results first Abby, we can talk about this later."

Professional Ms. Scuito slid into place and Ziva escaped without further mention of a sleepover. But later came before she'd found a moment to prepare her partner when Abby bounded into the squadroom. "Tony, guess what? Ziva and I talked it over and we're all going to have a sleepover at your apartment tonight. Okay?"

Tony's head popped up. "What?" His eyes sought Ziva's for clarification and he cleared his throat. "Oh, uh, Abbs, tonight's not really good for me and you see, my place is a real mess. I'm actually thinking about moving. It's not really presentable at all and well, I kinda sorta had plans that I-"

Abby's face fell and she looked at him forlornly. "You don't want to hang out with us?"

He stood, waving his hands quickly to clear the assumption. "No, no, it's not that. I just..." He knew Ziva couldn't save him and sighed. "I guess I could always have plans another night."

"Yay!" Abby tackled him with a hug. "This is going to be great!"

"Maybe," he conceded, not really seeing the upside yet. "But it will have to be at McGee's apartment or yours. I was serious about my place not being an option."

Her forehead wrinkled. "But ours aren't big enough for all of us." She thought for a moment then turned slowly towards the boss's desk. "Gibbs?"

"No."

Abby's eyes widened. "But...please?"

"No."

Unaccustomed to being turned down and fully intending to get her own way in this most important matter, she gave him her best puppy dog eyes and smiled sweetly. "I'll bring you coffee for a whole week." Gibbs grunted and Abby bit her lip. "I'll make you dinner too." He raised one eyebrow and she sighed. "And I won't even ask for Caf-Pow for...at least three days." She folded her fingers together. "Please Papa Bear? We need this."

Finally Gibbs leaned back in his chair and scrutinized them. Capable agents and highly educated people they may be, but sometimes all he saw was a group of kids who needed to feel like they belonged. "Fine. But no death metal and you clean up any mess you make, got me?"

"Yes!" Abby grinned so wide Ziva wondered if her face would crack and threw her arms around the bossman's neck. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She kissed his cheek. "You're the best."

He scoffed at the pronouncement but said nothing else and Abby began laying out the details. "So tonight, Gibbs' house, eight o'clock. Bring whatever you need for sleeping over and don't make any plans for tomorrow." She glanced back at the silver haired man. "Do you have sleeping bags?"

Gibbs eyed her lazily. "None that match yours."

Abby's sleeping bag was custom designed in black, with blood red zipper and stitching and little bats sewed all over it. He'd found somebody in a long list of people that owed him a favour and had it made for her birthday one year. Now when she spent the night at anyone's house she refused to sleep in anything else. She smiled fondly at him. "As it should be."

He shrugged. "Probably something in the basement." Once upon a time he and Shannon had taken Kelly for long weekend camping trips during summer break.

Undaunted by his lack of enthusiasm, Abby flitted between the other three desks talking a mile a minute about her plans. When she showed no inclination to return to her lab and since there was next to no work getting done now that the weekend event was in full swing, Gibbs reluctantly dismissed them all by five pm and then strode out on a mission. All of them at his house? To get through this night he'd need more than one coffee, and it probably wouldn't hurt if they were laced with bourbon.

As Abby dragged McGee downstairs with her at the first available moment, Tony and Ziva were left alone in the squadroom to slowly pack up their things. He glanced over. "So, same plans as this morning?"

She nodded, doing a surreptitious check for listening ears before speaking. "We might have to go home first." The words came out apologetically. "I think I left my gym bag under the bench."

"That's okay." He slung one backpack strap over his shoulder and walked over to her. "We may as well pack while we're there, save a step. That way you can shower at the gym and we'll head to Gibbs' from there."

Ziva smiled slightly, slipping into the coat he held and sweeping her hair free before pausing to wonder if that would look like too much should anyone see. But she ignored the warning twinge in her stomach for now. "Are you in charge of providing tonight's entertainment Tony?"

Tony gave her a half-grin. "I didn't really catch all of what Abby said, after awhile everything sounded the same, but I'll make a safe guess and say yes." He gestured for her to enter the elevator first. "I certainly don't trust McGeek to pick anything suitable."

Her nose wrinkled. "Just do not make it something horror please."

Not that he had many of those films in his collection to begin with, but all of them and any others he considered too violent or disturbing had been disposed of during those long hours she slept after returning home from Somalia. Tony didn't want the reminder any more than she did. He slid an arm around her waist. "I promise. I'm thinking more along the lines of _Paycheck_, a little _X-Men _for the comic book fan, maybe _Dances With Wolves_ for the ladies to drool over. However, I do expect my wife to curb her reaction to macho Native American men when she's sitting right beside me."

Ziva smirked. "I make no promises. We have a secret to keep, after all."

For that he tickled her and his soul was lightened by her laughter, as well as the soft kiss bestowed on his mouth when she finally trapped his hands away from their intention. Well used to packing on the fly, they managed to get their things together and make it to the gym just over an hour after leaving the building. Upon arrival at Ops she tried to get out of their agreement by exiting the car with a, "See you in one hour?"

But Tony caught her wrist before she made it all the way out and brushed his lips over the backs of her fingers. "That was a really nice try ninja. I'm still coming in."

Stifling her discomfort at being observed during a session, Ziva went in to get changed while he parked and greeted Duke at the front desk. The Marine's eyes stayed fixed on the doors that had only just swung shut. "She gonna react if I ask?"

Tony rubbed the back of his neck. "It would be best if you didn't. I don't know how much I should say, but things have been really rough since before Thanksgiving. I think we've had enough of the subject."

Duke nodded slowly, aware that it was none of his business even though he didn't like to be left in the dark. Ziva was a friend and fellow soldier, that mattered. "Just doing a drop off tonight?" the older man inquired.

He shook his head. "Not this time. I've been invited to watch her in action."

Duke raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Invited?"

"Well..." Tony hedged, "when the topic came up I think Ziva actually intended for me to work out solo while she trained." He grinned. "But I just couldn't pass up this opportunity to see her in action."

The trainer chuckled. "In that case, it should be a very interesting evening." He headed towards the doors leading into the gym proper and led Tony down a hallway lined with rooms on either side. "We'll set up down here. She knows the way."

True to his word Ziva joined them a few minutes later, hair pulled back in a French braid, wearing dark yoga capris and a t-shirt with half-length sleeves. She eyed her husband somewhat warily from his perch on the windowsill, then tuned him out and faced her friend. "I understand you will be a slave director tonight."

Across the room Tony choked on a laugh while Duke rolled his eyes. "The term is slave driver. And what do you expect after taking a week off?"

Her gaze narrowed. "That is not what-"

He cleared his throat. "No excuses David. Let's get to work." The tone meant business even as his expression said he understood but wouldn't let her wallow or offer pity she didn't want anyways. Even though she was slightly annoyed, Ziva appreciated the gesture.

Instead of starting her off with cardio, Duke got out a pair of nice sturdy sticks and they circled around each other, attacking and reacting and warding off the blows. Tony knew the trainer wouldn't hurt his wife, but he still winced whenever Duke's stick got too close to her body. They called it a draw when the final position held them both in place with nowhere else to go and moved on to jiu jitsu. What followed was like a scene out of _The Matrix_ and a couple of times Tony almost left his seat to get in between them.

Once his movements caught Ziva's eye and she was distracted just long enough for Duke to get the better of her. Her cheeks heated, for she knew better than to take her eyes off an opponent, and Tony silently apologized. Seeing her with skills on full display was very interesting and incredibly hot, but even the pretense of fighting was making him uneasy. The next time it happened was when they moved onto practicing take down techniques and Duke grabbed her from behind, putting her in a chokehold.

Tony immediately jumped to his feet and started towards them, heart pounding as he thought of what the position might trigger. He had no way of knowing, because Ziva never felt the need to share what she did at the gym, that the two of them had been slowly working on the things that bothered her most since she'd been cleared for full duty at the end of last January. That was enough to draw Ziva's attention and though she escaped the hold it wasn't done properly and Duke crossed his arms. "Strike two."

Her mouth opened in protest, brown eyes flitting between the former Marine and her husband. "You are making him nervous."

Tony shifted awkwardly. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt."

"And I don't mean to be rude, but she's got to concentrate and that's not happening with you here." Duke jutted his chin toward the door. "You've got time for a coffee before we're done."

If that wasn't a dismissal he didn't know what was. Ziva trailed him to the door and noted his apologetic face. "I wasn't trying to get you in trouble."

She glanced back over her shoulder. "I am not. But he takes training very seriously and doesn't like anything that interrupts." Her hand rested on his arm. "This wasn't what you expected, yes?"

Tony shrugged. "I don't know what I expected, but I'm not used to leaving you out there alone when I'm supposed to watch your back."

Ziva frowned. "Duke would not hurt me."

"I know. That's just how it looked."

From behind them Duke called her name. "Ziva."

She sighed dramatically. "Maybe sometimes he takes it too seriously." Stalling now just to get on the other man's nerves, she reached up to kiss Tony's cheek. "I would be grateful if you came back with tea as well."

Tony's grin re-emerged. "M'lady, it is my honour to serve you."

"Oy vey," Ziva muttered. "I knew I would regret allowing 'Lady Ziva' someday."

He tugged her braid. "Too late to take it back now." Leaning in, he tried to steal a kiss but Ziva pushed him away playfully.

"Goodbye."

Tony saluted Duke and bowed out, leaving only client and trainer remaining. Duke stared pointedly at Ziva. "Next time the husband stays at home. Did you see the looks he was giving me?"

She merely smiled towards the door. "It is only because he loves me."

"Hm," Duke mused. "I guess I can't argue with that." Then the next minute he was right back to business and fell into fighting stance. "Come on soldier, let's see what you've got."

_**A/N2: I know the end seems a little abrupt and it's kind of weird to split the day up, but this chapter's word count was getting a little out of hand and there wasn't really a good place anywhere to take a break. But because I got two chapters instead of one out of today's work, I should also be able to update mid-week. Thanks for everything guys and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! ~Aliyah**_

_Reply:_

_Mary - Thanks! I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying the story :) You know, it really amazes me the response I got on the background chapter, I really didn't think it would make that big of an impression but I'm pleased that people liked it so much. Whenever anything about this story that makes it more real to you guys I feel like I've done my job right. Yeah, I know, it's been a really rough few chapters. As you can see though, things are already starting to get brighter and from here there's nowhere to go but up :) Thanks so much for leaving a review, I means the world to me when people take that time :) ~Aliyah_


	21. 8x9 Enemies Domestic 9

_A/N: Sorry guys, this week did not cooperate for my planned Wednesday or Thursday update. Better luck next time I suppose. I hope you enjoy this installment. Thanks so much for the reviews, it's always great to hear what you all are thinking. Have a fabulous week! ~Aliyah_

**Friday December 3 continued...**

Ziva was showered and changed and sitting on the front steps waiting for him when he pulled up. Tony jumped out and ran around to get her door. "Hey." He checked his watch. "Am I late?"

"No. I told Duke I wanted to be done a few minutes early because we had plans tonight."

"Good idea," Tony agreed. "Abby won't tolerate lateness."

He got in and started the engine. She glanced into the backseat and raised an eyebrow at the plastic bags that had been added. Tony did his best to look innocent. "We couldn't go without movie snacks Zi. It would be bad manners." To combat her disbelieving expression, he pointed at the paper cup in the drink holder. "I got your tea."

She shook her head at him but let the topic pass. "Thank you." As they pulled away Ziva started playing with her anniversary ring. Something about the jewellery made her feel so secure and safe. She loved the reminder of their marriage and the memory it held from when Tony presented her with the gift. Leaning her head back, she gazed out the window at the street rushing past. "I cannot believe Abby is getting away with this."

Tony didn't seem as surprised. "We've already established she's the favourite."

Ziva turned to him. "Tony, she got Gibbs to host a sleep party. Is that not out of the realm of even something she should be able to accomplish?"

He threaded his fingers through hers. "First of all, it's sleepover, not sleep party. Though I have no doubt that with Abby in charge it will be a party in some sense."

She wrinkled her nose. "I like mine better."

Tony ignored her and continued. "And second, you seem to underestimate what fathers are willing to do for their little girls."

Ziva closed her eyes, heart aching. But he hadn't meant it as a wound. Of course she would have no idea what fathers could do for their daughters. Eli had taught her long ago that 'Father' was a title and nothing more. It did not have to involve his heart. Then she remembered Gibbs coming back from Mexcio to save her when she was in trouble. Gibbs fighting to get her back on the team after Vance sent them away. Gibbs lying on a hill in Africa and waiting patiently for his target to enter the room where Tony was being held when he believed she was dead. To avenge her. She remembered Gibbs on the plane calming her with his presence and speaking truth into her fears. In the medical tent sheltering her from the crush of people driving her panic. Welcoming her back home in his basement. Because he loved her. So maybe she did know some of what that looked like after all.

"Honey?" Tony prompted when she'd been quiet too long.

She gazed at him with a shade of wistfulness in her beautiful brown eyes. "Maybe someday I will have the chance to find out."

At first he didn't get it, then the softness of her expression clued him in and his breath rushed out as the meaning came to life. She was talking about him and seeing the kind of father he would be. Swallowing hard, he kissed her knuckles and tried to keep his voice steady. "Yeah, maybe." These days it was his deepest dream.

They made it to Gibbs' house with a few minutes to spare and as soon as the couple set foot on the porch Abby opened the door and dragged them. "You're just in time. Timmy and I picked up Chinese on the way. Come get it while it's hot!"

Allowing themselves to be swept up in her excitement, Tony and Ziva hurried to ditch their shoes and coats before entering the kitchen. Once there Ziva went over to kiss Gibbs' cheek in greeting. "Hello Abba. It is nice of you to have us."

He cut his gaze to a gleeful Abby. "Didn't have much of a choice."

The forensic scientist shoved a take out box at each of them and handed over the customary wooden utensils. "We got your favourites." She and McGee exchanged a glance. They had looked forward to the amusement garnered by Tony's attempt to eat with something other than a fork. "Dig in."

Tony flipped open the lid on his chow mein while Ziva started on her sweet and sour chicken. To the geek couple's surprise and disappointment he handled the chopsticks expertly, bringing food to his mouth with hardly a spill. Seeing the change, McGee couldn't help a comment. "You take lessons or something?"

Stopping with a piece of shrimp suspended in mid-air, the senior field agent gave his friend a puzzled look. "Huh?"

Abby pointed with one of her custom black chopsticks. "He means that. You actually know how to use them now."

Working very hard to keep from implicating his wife, Tony affected a nonchalant shrug. "Someone took the time to teach me awhile back." They seemed doubtful and he chuckled. "What, you don't think I can learn a new skill?"

"Can and will are two different things DiNozzo," Gibbs put in, eating his spicy dish off to the side.

Tony put his hand to his chest. "You don't have any faith in me? I'm crushed Boss."

The silver haired man ignored him and conversation turned to news any of them, but mainly Abby, had to share about life in general. Take out came with the benefit of not having dishes to do, so after the trash was taken care of they congregated in Gibbs' livingroom where Abby demanded to know Tony's movie selections. "What did you bring us?"

He grabbed the three main choices, plus a couple other ones grabbed just for fun, out of his duffle bag and held them up with a grin. "One for each of us. I even found a Western for you Boss, _High Noon_. Gary Cooper at his finest."

Gibbs sipped his coffee. "Good movie."

All four of them were shocked speechless and Abby hurried to slide the DVD into the small player she'd convinced him to purchase last year before he changed his mind. Though none of the others were really Western fans, McGee was intrigued by the old weapons and outdated modes of transportation, Abby had several comments to make on the style of dress and old fashioned ways of doing things, Ziva liked the suspense, and Tony happily shared any random bits of trivia that came to mind. "It's ranked the 27th greatest movie of all time, did you know that Boss?" "They filmed the whole movie in twenty-eight days." "Even though he was sick for the whole movie, Cooper still did his own fighting with Lloyd Bridges."

After the last comment Gibbs reached over and headslapped him growling, "Shut up and watch."

Ziva and Abby, sitting on either side of Gibbs with their hands tucked around his arms, exchanged amused glances at their teammate's plight.

When the credits rolled it was after ten and Gibbs kissed the girls' forehead. "Going to work on the boat. Have fun."

Instead of pleading with him to stay they let him leave without resistence and Tony waved the remaining cases around. "What's next boys and girls?"

Knowing his affinity for the movie, they chose _Paycheck_ and with the rest of the couch free both Tony and McGee took advantage of a Gibbs-less main floor to take spots close beside their girls. Just before he pressed play Abby jumped up. "We need popcorn."

McGee made a face. "I don't think Gibbs would have anything like that Abby."

Her expression fell and Tony reached into one of his plastic bags. "Gotcha covered Abbs. What's your pleasure, kettle corn or extra butter?"

She claimed the extra butter package with delight and bounced into the kitchen while McGee watched her fondly and followed soon after to help her find an appropriate bowl. Left alone for a few brief moments, Tony set a bag each of gummy bears and red licorice on the coffee table. "See anything you like ninja?"

Ziva checked behind her quickly and found the other two fully occupied, then pressed her lips to his so quick he wasn't even sure if it had happened. "Yes." Her loaded gaze spoke of a different meaning altogether even as she pulled two licorice whips free of the bag and handed one to him.

"Minx," he whispered under his breath, impressed by her boldness. Not one to turn down a challenge, he'd have to up his game if she was feeling daring tonight.

Abby and McGee were back soon enough and even though the dim lighting might've provided enough cover, Tony and Ziva didn't try anything more risque than occasionally holding hands. The goth happened to look over at one of those moments and caught Ziva's eye. Her expression must've changed because Abby shook her head to indicate she wouldn't say anything and smiled slightly. Ever since hearing the other woman's confession about her feelings for her partner, Abby had wondered how she might subtly push them together in spite of the rules keeping them apart. She hadn't planned to try anything tonight, but maybe the extended time together would at least give them something to think about. As far as she was concerned, any progress was good progress.

About halfway through Ben Affleck's crazy race for his life both Tony and Abby suddenly needed to use the restroom. They raced for the closest one but Abby won and Tony was forced to make his way upstairs. Without their other half's around, Tim and Ziva had the rare chance to talk. She was thinking about Meira and trying to remember if they'd left her enough food and water for overnight when something else came to mind. "McGee, whatever happened to your dog? I do not recall you talking about him recently."

He nodded. "That only lasted about six months. First of all, I changed his name to Nick because I just couldn't call him Jethro. But with work and stuff..." He lifted one shoulder and let it drop. "I gave him to one of my friends who has a house with a yard and kids and more time to spend with him. He's happy and I drop by and see him once in awhile. Nick's great with the kids." Tim gave her a half-grin. "I miss having a dog sometimes but it just wasn't fair to keep him cooped up in my apartment all the time."

Ziva bit her lip. "Does Abby know?"

McGee winced, remembering when he broke the news to his best friend. "Yeah. And she was pretty upset at first, didn't talk to me for a couple weeks. But once she calmed down and I explained my reasons, she tried to be understanding. Sometimes Abby comes with me and we'll take him for a walk or something. She misses him too, but she gets a real kick out of seeing how much Nathan's little boy and girl love him. Nick makes a really good companion and guard dog."

"I am glad you still get the chance to visit."

He turned the question back on her. "Abby mentioned the way you were with Mortimer when he was around. You ever think about getting a dog now Ziva?"

She considered her answer carefully, aware of what a fine line she was about to tread. "I think your observations are wise McGee. In our line of work there is little time for an indulgence like pets. Probably the only way it could work is if Gibbs would let me bring a dog to work. And I believe Abby is the only one who could talk him into something so far outside rules and regulations." Ziva toyed with her fingers. "But it is nice to dream about."

The chance for further comment was lost when Tony and Abby returned and the movie resumed. Midnight was drawing near by the time it finished and Abby and Ziva both voted for _Star Wars: Episode IV_ when asked, having decided McGee's preference should not come in last. A new film meant a new round of snacks, sending the girls into the kitchen to make hot chocolate while Tony and McGee broke out the chips he and Abby had grabbed on the way over. They munched their way through three different kinds during the two hour selection, which ended with all of them having difficulty keeping their eyes open.

On that note they began closing things down for the evening - gathering up and throwing away garbage, placing used bowls and mugs in the sink, and moving the coffeetable across the room so they had room to lay out the sleeping bags Gibbs brought up earlier. The group all took turns getting changed into pyjamas suitable for public viewing and got as comfortable as possible on the floor. Not entirely intentional but certainly not by chance either did sleeping arrangements get set up with the girls in the middle so they could talk in whispers and the guys laying as close as possible without actually touching their love interests.

Tim and Tony didn't even bother trying to fall asleep while Abby and Ziva shared inaudible conversations speaking very softly right into each other's ears and giggling like little girls. On his side Tony lay on his back, hands folded over his stomach and a slight smile on his face, thoroughly enjoying his wife in such a carefree setting. McGee, meanwhile, thought about how close Abby got during the scary parts in the movies, all the comments she felt compelled to quietly share right in his ear, her hands wrapped almost possessively around his arm, and the number of times he had to stop himself from actually putting his arm around her and holding her like he had a right to. They hadn't been in this kind of proximity since the summer when they shared a bed and he wouldn't admit to anyone how long it took him to fall asleep by himself after she left.

After awhile the girls' energy began to wind down and they turned towards the guys, settling down for sleep finally. Only because he was certain they were still alone, the boss gone who knows where, did Tony feel safe slipping his hand in Ziva's sleeping bag to rest on her waist. He didn't like falling asleep not touching her. Too tired to argue or expound on the risks, Ziva tucked one arm under her head and mouthed 'I love you' where only he could see.

Mere inches away Abby shamelessly cuddled with her Timmy, opening her eyes just long enough to glance behind her and dispense a muted observation. "They're kind of adorable, aren't they?"

McGee lifted his head slightly but couldn't see much beyond Tony and Ziva facing each other. "If you say so Abbs," he murmured, trying to decide if anything from tonight could be worked into his current novel or if he'd have to get a little more creative about Tommy and Lisa's interactions beyond what he consistently borrowed from real life. He brushed a kiss across her cheek. "Sweet dreams."

Half an hour after the absence of sound indicated that his guests were all out for what remained of the night, Gibbs climbed the basement steps and stood in the hallway watching them sleep. He had no idea how they started off, but Abby now lay with her head and one hand on McGee's chest, giving every impression this wasn't the first time they'd shared such a position. Tony and Ziva slept separately but just barely as only a handful of inches were between them, looking altogether too cozy for his peace of mind.

Shaking his head at the picture, Gibbs opened his phone and pressed speed dial number seven. Not because Celeste was that far down on his important people ranking, but she insisted he use her favourite number when he mentioned adding her to the list. She answered after three rings. "Jethro, it's very late. What are you doing up at almost three in the morning?"

"Know what I'm looking at right now?" he asked, dispensing with pleasantries that were no longer necessary in their conversations.

Celeste rubbed Lexie's ear. "The boat?"

"Nope," he shook his head. "All four of them in sleeping bags on my livingroom floor."

Her laughter floated across the line. "Are you having a slumber party?"

Gibbs grunted. "Not willingly, let me tell you."

"Abby," she guessed sagely. "She's the only reason you'd let them invade. You really are a softie for her and Ziva."

"Hmph," he grumbled. "Boys are getting a little too comfortable with my girls."

Celeste rolled her eyes. "Leave them alone Jethro. They can't get into much trouble while they're sleeping anyways."

Gibbs headed for the second floor. "Why are you on their side?"

"Someone has to be," she retorted. "I don't see happiness as a sin, unlike you."

He leaned against the wall. "Seen it go really bad Les. The team..."

"You have to let them make their own mistakes," Celeste said softly. "Learn their own lessons. The question you really have to ask yourself is, 'What if you're wrong?'"

The new rule scribbled on the back of Rule 13 over the summer came to mind and Gibbs began to question if she really could read his mind, as it so often seemed. "That your favourite topic now?"

She smiled. "I've got to be good for something, if only to keep you on your toes Jethro. You need someone to play devil's advocate and I'm too far away to headslap."

He snorted. "Not that I'd get away with it."

"Well I certainly wouldn't be feeding you anytime soon if you tried it," Celeste retorted, thinking of the many meals they shared when living in the same city.

"I miss your cooking," he blurted without thinking.

"I miss your company," she shared, matching his bravery. "Even when all I did was sit in the basement while you worked on another boat." Then all of a sudden the words caught up to her. "Oh brother. This is what happens when we talk after midnight. Shame on you Jethro, you know I lose my filter once it gets late."

"Then we should have more conversations now, when we're both too tired to hide anything."

Celeste did the math. Just over four months since they renewed their acquaintance after not speaking for an extended period of time when she moved to California, and not even six weeks had passed since their decision to have more frequent conversations. It wasn't near long enough to be thinking too seriously, not when she was hoping to keep him in her life for good this time. "Bourbon and lack of sleep are not a good combination for rational thinking. Please say goodbye now before we make a mess of this."

He sighed, knowing she was right. They had a whirlwind romance the first time and didn't have a clue what they were getting themselves into. This time, if they got a this time, he wanted to be sure they were going into it with eyes wide open and no illusions that could be broken. "Okay Les. Sweet dreams."

"You too," she replied quietly. "I'm glad you have the kids around this weekend. Enjoy them."

She was gone before any more could be said and Gibbs walked slowly down the hall to stand at the doorway of the master bedroom. As his usual place to bunk down wasn't available tonight he had to pick another, but he couldn't make himself cross that threshold again, not alone. The door to his daughter's room was shut tight as usual and he wouldn't go inside. It would remind him of coming home from deployments and her wanting him close or laying there comforting her after nightmare and he didn't want to remember. So instead he scrounged around in the spare room closet and came up with a bedroll, grabbed a blanket from the linen cupboard and settled on the spare room floor, prepared to get about as much sleep here as he did anywhere else.

**NCIS**

**Saturday December 4**

The sun's rays hit her face and Ziva stretched, a smile already on her lips. Without opening her eyes she rolled over into her husband's solid warmth. "Mmm. Good morning a-"

Immediately his finger halted her words and Ziva looked at him with a frown. He jerked his head at a space behind her and suddenly she remembered, eyes widening at what she almost let slip. Tony moved his finger once she caught on and gave her a half-grin, leaning close to whisper, "I'm all good with giving up our secret that way, but if you didn't want to announce it to McCouple I suggest you find something else to call me."

Ziva shook her head slightly. "You are in my space Anthony."

He kept an ear out for any sound of the others waking. "You love it when I'm in your space," he retorted, exerting serious willpower to keep from kissing her where anyone could see.

Likewise Ziva was attentive for any sign of their boss. "I do," she murmured lowly, "but it would not be wise to leak that information to the general public."

"Someday," Tony muttered, missing the way they usually start their day. Then in a normal voice, "How did you sleep?"

"Fine thank you." She finally propped herself up enough to measure the sun's height through the front windows. "What time is it?"

He checked his watch and whistled. "You're not going to believe this." His wrist turned so she could see too.

"Eleven-thirty?" Granted it had been quite late when they got to bed, but sleeping in so long was a rare occurrence.

"Eight hours without waking up, that's got to be a record." At least it was a record for nights since Eli appeared.

"I will take it."

Tony finally shifted attention off his wife and onto their friends. "Zi, take a look at this."

She adjusted her position and smiled at the sight of the geek couple laying ensconced in each other's arms. "That is very sweet."

He already had his cell phone out. "Think I should take a picture?"

Her expression was just as mischievous. "You may not get another opportunity."

"Ms. David," Tony grinned, "I like the way you think." He snapped several and leaned back against the couch, satisfaction written all over his face. "Yup, that blackmail material oughta be good for something big."

Ziva nudged him. "Be nice. I can imagine you taking similar liberties if our situations were reversed."

He winced even at the thought of a life that didn't include her in every way, shape, and form. "Point taken." Not entirely without mercy, Tony took his pillow and tossed it at McGee, who snuffled and rubbed his eyes.

"Good morning to you too."

The older man shrugged. "Just thought I'd warn you before the Bossman comes in and sees you manhandling his daughter."

McGee blinked bleary eyes and groaned at the far too familiar way he and Abby were cuddled together. "Right. Thanks." Wishing it wasn't necessary to move, he rubbed a hand down his best friend's beautiful, loose black hair. "Hey Abbs, time to wake up." Her response was to mumble something and slide even closer, so Tim jiggled her shoulder a little. The task would be easier without an audience, he may even have kissed her awake if he'd been up first. "Abby, come on. Please?"

Ziva was just getting ready to intervene, her bat-like hearing detecting footsteps on the stairs, when Abby's eyelashes fluttered. "Timmy?"

Tony did not comment on that being the first word out of her mouth, but oh the things he could've said to tease and embarrass his probie!

McGee noticed that Ziva and Tony suddenly averted their gazes and he was thankful for the respite, brushing the dark waves away from her cheek. "We should be getting up, it's late."

She'd barely moved away from him when Gibbs loomed like a giant in the kitchen doorway. "About time."

Tony rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Morning Boss. What's for breakfast?"

Gibbs snorted. "Not a restaurant. You're on your own. Coffee's on." He poured himself a mug and headed for the basement, leaving them all staring after him.

"So," Tony ventured, "anyone for food?"

"I think," Abby said, now wide awake, "that the guys should be in charge of breakfast. Don't you Ziva?"

Ziva's eyes twinkled. "Oh yes. And it will be very interesting to watch them try."

"Did you hear that McGee?" Tony asked in an affronted voice. "They're mocking our culinary skills."

"Speak for yourself," he retorted. "I actually have culinary skills."

Taking a _Matrix _pose, Tony stretched out his arm and flicked his fingers back. "Bring it on Probie."

"If they are cooking it is only fair we clean up," Ziva announced to her cohort. "Shall we have a sleeping bag rolling race?"

"Absolutely!" Abby grinned. "Ready, set, go!"

Amidst much laughter, so much so that the guys had to come back over and see what was so funny, the girls managed to get everything back in their original bags, thought because of her extensive practice, she did win the race. Afterwards Abby set the table and Ziva started going through cupboards to see what Gibbs actually had for kitchen supplies. Up on a top shelf she found something that looked familiar and opened the fridge, searching every drawer until coming across what she sought and getting to work.

Much to their surprise Tim and Tony came up with perfectly done French toast and nice crisp bacon while Ziva supplied what they had to drink. As everything was being dished out she pulled a tray down off the freezer, filled a plate and glass, and took the whole thing downstairs. Gibbs was where she expected to find him, working on his boat. She set the tray on the workbench and went over to kiss his cheek. "Good morning."

He glanced at the clock. "Good afternoon."

She stifled a smile. "Once in awhile that is alright." Her eyes ran over his profile. "Did you sleep?"

"Some." Ziva waited and he finally looked at her. "Old habits."

She nodded. "I know."

His eyes were drawn towards the food but when he saw the glass his brow furrowed. "I don't have orange juice."

Ziva shrugged. "You do now."

"I had oranges," he corrected.

"There was a juicer in the cupboard." Granted it was old and plastic and not electronic, but she remembered her mother using one like it years ago.

Gibbs kissed her forehead. "Thanks for breakfast."

"You could join us," she offered.

"Not this time." He nodded towards the stairs. "Make sure you eat something."

Ziva rolled her eyes and started up. "Yes Abba."

Later, when they were all seated around the table in their pyjamas laughing at a story Abby told, she would think how very nice it was to spend the day with family.

**NCIS**

Mark and Cassie were enjoying some time alone together while the kids were at a friend's house when the phone rang. Loathe to move because she was so relaxed and never got enough of being ensconced in her husband's arms, Cassie reluctantly sat up and leaned over to answer it. "Hello, this is Cassie." She'd used that opening line since college when she'd shared a dorm room and phone line with her friend Mandy.

"Hello Mattie."

She smiled and slouched in the corner of the couch. "Hi Dad, what's up?"

Matthew McKenzie cleared his throat. "I asked Claire to marry me honey. She said yes."

Cassie sucked in her breath and slowly rose to perch on the edge of the cushion. "What?"

He'd known this wouldn't be easy. Even though they'd been seeing each other for a year, his daughter still clung to the illusion that it was a casual relationship. Cassie had loved her mother deeply, as he had, but Matthew was ready to not be alone anymore. "We're getting married precious, on January 9th. I won't ask you to be in the wedding, but it would make me very happy if you came to be part of our special day."

Cassie's heart ached. Her dad was already talking like they were a package deal, two sides of the same coin, one with each other as he had been with her mom.

Matthew didn't find the long silence reassuring and sighed. "Mattie, it's been over fourteen years. Did you expect me to be alone forever?"

Tears started blurring her vision and she swallowed hard against the bitterness that welled up. "I never thought about it at all." She was being unfair, Cassie knew it, but she couldn't help herself. "I've got to go Dad. I love you." After her mom died she never hung up without saying those words, no matter what her mood was.

"We'll talk later," he said firmly. "Nothing, not even this, will change how I love you precious. I need you to remember that."

Dropping her head into her hands, Cassie hit the off button and let the phone fall. She didn't even register Mark, whose concern had been growing for the last several minutes, all she could feel was the complete overwhelming sense of loss. First her mother, now her father, and it hurt. Moving over, Mark settled so close their legs brushed and folded his wife into a gentle embrace. Suddenly aware that she wasn't alone, Cassie felt even worse and tried to fight back the dread and irrational feeling of betrayal.

Mark brushed his lips over her ear. "Tell me?"

His warm breath tickled and Cassie suddenly wanted a distraction, some way to make her forget how her world was about to change. She turned and kissed her husband, leaving no way for him to mistake her purpose. Taken by surprise, Mark got caught up in the sensations - lips moving carelessly and messily against each other, hands touching, groping, shedding clothes, the breathless moans from his wife as he caressed all the right places. She was straddling his lap and manipulating buttons when Mark whispered against her jaw. "Here? Or are we taking this party upstairs?"

Cassie hesitated and for a heartbeat he thought she'd changed her mind completely, then she claimed his mouth again. "How fast can you make it to our room?"

Mark grinned and scooped her up in his arms, striding through the kitchen and taking the stairs two at a time. Force of habit saw them locking the door before divesting each other of what clothing remained. Quite out of the ordinary, Cassie fought him for being in control and Mark tried to read what she wanted and needed when she stayed unusually quiet throughout their whole encounter. After the mess that came with mutual pleasure was taken care of, Mark drew Cassie into his arms and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"I'm not sure what word to use to define it, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't just for fun sex. And not that I'm complaining about your spontaneity honey, but what's going on?"

Cassie debated trying to put some distance between them but knew Mark wouldn't allow it, so instead she sighed and pulled the blanket tighter around her like a shield she needed for protection. "My dad's getting married again," she told him in a low voice. "And I know I said I'd let Mom go, but I didn't know I'd have to mean it so soon."

Mark disliked talking to the back of his wife's head and persuaded her to roll over. He tugged the covers from her grasp and moved them away, running his fingers up and down her bare back while he waited for Cassie to meet his eyes. What words was he supposed to offer for this hurt? He'd seen the clear affection between Matthew and Claire at Thanksgiving, but Cassie had remained purposely oblivious and because of that was unprepared for the news. In the end he just went with honesty.

"I don't know what to say."

Her brow furrowed. "You're supposed to tell me that I'm being selfish, that after a decade and a half of course my dad deserves to be happy. You're supposed to tell me it's not nearly as bad as I'm making it out to be, that our world is not going to change fundamentally and if I just give her a chance I'll probably really like her. And that no matter who is in my dad's life it doesn't mean Mom's forgotten or ceases to matter."

He cupped her cheek. "You beat me to it. Except the part where I say it's okay to feel hurt, but caution you to be very careful how you act on it because words can never be unspoken and there are more people to consider here besides you." Mark lay his cheek on hers. "I will be right at your side for all of it, I promsie."

Cassie knew from every part of their history that Mark Reese could be counted on to keep his promises and she tucked her face into his neck. "I love you."

Mark tightened his grip. "I love you too." For today he'd hope that truth could be her anchor and tomorrow would not drift too far from this moment here in their bed where nothing could touch or hurt her. Not while he was keeping watch.

**NCIS**

Adrian walked quietly into his wife's studio and peeked over her shoulder. Because Eden Center was closed on weekends and Flash became quite busy, Saturday was Emma's day to work on her writing. He glanced over some new sketches and caught a glimpse of part of a title on another sheet. "What's this?"

She looked up at him. "I'm finally getting to the amigos stories. I have one about Alec and McKenna's treehouse, and all three at camp, and I'm thinking about a sleepover tale as well."

Adrian moved the papers aside. "AKR Adventures?"

Emma smiled. "They're about three kids - Aaron and Kendra who are brother and sister, and their cousin Ramey with his dog Jesse (Casey?). I think you'll find them very entertaining. I have to stop myself from taking dialogue notes when we're all at Mark and Cassie's."

He chuckled. "I always love the names you change. But Jesse is out of pattern, right?"

Her nose wrinkled. "I know. I couldn't find another 'C' name I liked and it still has the 'Y' sound."

"Close enough." Adrian admired a few unfinished illustrations. "The kids are going to love this stuff Em."

"Let's hope my publisher feels the same," she hedged. "It's a bit of a departure from the little kids books."

Adrian leaned down and kissed her. "Even if it's just for them, that's okay. They'll treasure these stories forever."

She tugged him back. "One of the things I love about you is how much faith you have in me. Thank you."

He caressed her cheek and backed slowly out of the room, not wanting to totally disrupt her focus. "Honey, you make it so easy. Come down when you get bored, I'm starting supper."

It took more than a moment to get her concentration back after her husband left, but Emma was determined to make some decent headway on the camp tale before letting him be the blissful distraction she was longing for. Half an hour later she was satisfied with her progress and got up to slide a special surprise from behind a shelf. Though not very large, the item was something Emma knew her husband would cherish and she hurried downstairs, anxious to see his expression when he laid eyes on it.

Emma, however, was not the only one out to wow her significant other. As soon as she stepped foot in the dining room, where the table had been elegantly set and adorned with candles, Adrian came around the corner holding a bouquet of flowers. "Do you know what today is?"

She arched one eyebrow, smirking mischievously. "Do you?"

He smiled lazily. "Technically the anniversary of our first date isn't until Monday, but I figured this was close enough."

"Me too," Emma agreed. "Even though the 6th was really only a practice date. I didn't let you pay until the second one."

Adrian chuckled. "Yeah. Instead you sprung on me that you were husband hunting."

She invaded his space and pressed their lips gently together. "Well, it worked."

Strong arms came around her waist and he wasted no time repeating the action. "True." He felt the frame hidden behind her back and craned his neck to look. "What's that?"

Emma kept it out of view. "You'll have to trade me for the flowers."

"My pleasure."

She admired the wildflower arrangement and dutifully handed over his present. "Just a little something to remind you of that day."

Captured inside the simple wooden frame was the napkin picture they'd drawn together during their first meeting – the miniature forest he'd started while waiting anxiously for her arrival, birds in the sky overhead, a hazy sun and wispy clouds, the lake that had been a joint effort, a small boy with a fishing pole staring aimlessly at the calm water while his sister attempted to skip stones nearby. Adrian had never given a thought to what became of the piece after they parted and it made him almost shivery with delight that even then, before they were anything and them was only the shadow of a possibility, Emma had cared enough for their collaborative effort to keep the small paper square.

He swallowed and stared at her. "I...don't know what to say. Thank you Em. This is...really special." His eyes soaked in the sketch again. "I think I'm going to hang this up at work."

She tried to snatch it away. "Don't you dare Adrian Platz! That is for you alone, not to put on display for the world to see." Done in a combination of pen and pencil on an unreliable canvas it was far from their best work.

Adrian caught her grasping fingers and brushed a kiss over the backs. "In my office then. Another reason to smile, because whenever I look at it I'll think of you."

Emma batted her eyelashes flirtatiously. "You need reasons to think about me?"

He chuckled. "Fishing for compliments I see." He twisted his ring around. "This is more than enough of a reminder. But you know what I mean." Adrian pulled her into a hug. "Thanks for thinking enough of today to give me something that holds so much meaning. I'll always treasure this memory."

"So will I." She headed past him towards the kitchen to find a vase for her flowers. "Can I help with dinner?"

Steering her back in the direction of the table once the bouquet rested carefully in water Adrian shook his head. "No. You can sit there and let me spoil you."

Instead of arguing with him Emma acquiesced to his plan and chose to enjoy whatever her husband had in mind.

**NCIS**

They had dinner out that night, glad for the time to be alone together after spending most of the last day in the company of other people. When it started to snow softly, big fluffy flakes falling like something in a snowglobe, Tony decided a walk was in order. Hand in hand they strolled down a mostly deserted street reveling in the cold winter beauty. The air was perfectly still, not a breath of wind to mar such a lovely picture, and it wasn't even too cold for his desert-born bride.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore and Tony just had to stop and stare with wonder at the woman he loved. How did he get so lucky? He must've said that part out loud because Ziva responded immediately. "I am the lucky one amore."

He couldn't tear his gaze away from her. "You are so beautiful in the moonlight," he all but whispered, in awe of the moment.

Ziva tilted her head slightly. "Is it only at night you make this observation? What about in the light of day? Would you say the same then?"

Tony chuckled, cradling her face in his hands. "Since moonlight tends to happen at night, my declaration is most fitting. But of course beautiful doesn't depend on the time of day." He brought his mouth to hers. "In fact, you're even more spectacular when the sun in shining."

She rolled her eyes, dismissing it all as too many cheesy romance movies. Abby, in the mood for something sappy and sweet, had looked up _Penelope_ on her laptop and insisted they all watch it before leaving earlier. Ziva had to admit the story was sweet, but her husband took chick flick lines to a whole new level.

The couple continued on their walk, slowly sipping the hot drinks they brought with them from the restaurant. "Doesn't it just look magical?" he mused.

Ziva leaned into him. "Yes, it does." She'd never seen a snowfall during her childhood, growing up in a place where the only temperatures were hot and hotter, so even though she might be chilled for hours afterwards, enjoying the beginning of this season was worth the consequences

They came to a flower shop and Tony was hit by a flash of inspiration. Having seen someone in the window turning the sign over as they approached, he knocked on the door. At first nothing happened but after a minute of his persistence the girl came back and opened it a crack, revealing a chain lock for protection. "I'm sorry, we're closed."

Tony gave her his famous, thousand watt DiNozzo grin. "I know and I hate to bother you but I just couldn't resist this opportunity." He tugged Ziva closer. "This lovely lady is my wife and I think she deserves a flower to end our night. Will you let me in to buy her a single rose?"

The girl's expression shifted from wary to delighted in the space of a heartbeat. She pressed a hand to her chest. "How romantic." She sighed and looked at Ziva. "You are so lucky to have a guy like that." And then to Tony, "I'll be right back." Returning momentarily, she handed him a red rose whose petals had only begun to unfurl. "Here, on the house. You get that just for being sweet. Have a good night!"

The door was re-locked and Ziva smiled fondly at her husband. "You have charmed another one."

He held the rose out and waited for her acceptance. When she took it, he lifted her hand and kissed the back. "There's only one woman I'm interested in charming Ziva DiNozzo, and she's already wearing my ring."

Ziva beckoned him closer and claimed his mouth, whispering 'thank you' against his cold lips. "You get extra points for this," she added, gently caressing her gift.

Tony twirled her around once and looped his arm over her shoulders. "You deserve it babe. Making you smile is one of the great joys of my life."

After that there was really nothing else that could be said. Slowly but surely he was making her believe that was true.

_Replies:_

_Guest - Me too. She was in the dark for a long time but she's turned a corner now. Actually, Cobb kidnapping her is going to traumatize Tony much more than Ziva. That section is partly written and it's a rough few days for Tony. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Robin - wow, thank you, such dedication! I appreciate it :) I'm so glad you're enjoying everything. You're so sweet to say those things, it's very nice encouragement for me. I can't take the credit. Inspiration comes from God as well as any writing ability I have, I'm very thankful for the gift. When I write I see it all playing out in my mind like watching a movie, so I'm always glad to hear that readers think the characters have come out right. You are very welcome, thank you so much for all the sweet compliments. It means a lot to me. Blessings ~Aliyah_

_Guest #2 - it's not so much what she said to Eli but the decision she made in her heart. Just like when she had to decide after Somalia that she would not simply let life go by and watch it from the outside but she would be present in it and work as hard as necessary to get her life back. Here she's made that decision again, only in a different way, that she won't let Eli's actions or inaction or hurtful words affect her anymore. Nothing he does will dictate her mood or the way she views life or her interactions with her husband and family. He's been cut out completely, she's finally broken that hold he's always had over her. I don't know if I quite explained it right, but that's kind of what I was going for. Thanks! ~Aliyah_

_For two people who asked - Rob and EJ will be in the story at the same time as when they appeared on the show. I am following canon events as closely as possible._

_Priscilla - Hi :) No worries, it doesn't have to be a super important question for you to ask. Meira isn't really any particular breed, or at least, not that I could find out. I got her description from a picture I found online. After going through tons of dog pictures I saw her and knew she was Tony and Ziva's dog. So I guess she's just a mutt. But I've always liked them the best :) ~Aliyah_


	22. 8x9 Enemies Domestic 10

**Sunday December 5**

A thought hit Tony in the middle of his shower and he stopped with the cloth halfway across his chest as a picture grabbed him with painful clarity. Suddenly feeling an urgent need to be somewhere else, he rushed through the rest of his routine in mere seconds and was half-dried off and struggling to get damp legs into jeans before heading out the door in search of his wife. He caught her on her way back from checking on their breakfast. Wasting no time Tony tenderly cupped her face in his hands and stared deep into her dark eyes, then kissed her with an incredible amount of feeling, catching her off guard with the raw, aching emotion he conveyed without a single word.

Her husband took his time pulling back and when he did she clasped his wrists gently. "What was that for?"

Tony continued holding her face using the utmost care, his thumb caressing her cheek, words coming out almost in a whisper. "I just suddenly realized I wasn't cherishing these precious moments enough like I did when you first started kissing me good morning after...after the summer." Ziva swallowed but refused to let a simple, vague mention of Somalia affect her. He captured her lips again, finding it monumentally difficult to break away. "I don't want to take even one moment with you for granted sweetheart. I'm sorry. I love you."

Apologies and declarations were punctuated with soft kisses and his sincerity overwhelmed Ziva. Tears dripped down her cheeks as she clung to him, shaking her head. "You have nothing to apologize for neshama, nothing. I will never be able to thank you enough for what you've done for me. There are simply no words in your language that will let me express who and what you have been to me. Toda ahuvi sheli. Ani ohev otach."

"I love you too Zi, so much." He buried his head in her neck and for awhile husband and wife clutched each other in a desperate embrace, endeavouring to say in ways that mattered so much more to their hearts everything words would be inadequate for.

The late morning became charged on a whole new level with the addition of such intense emotions and they barely pulled themselves together in time to meet the rest of the gang at the skating rink for their second annual group outing. After everyone had so much fun last year the vote was unanimous to make it a tradition. When Tony and Ziva walked into the arena McKenna, chosen by the other two and pushed forward, came to deliver the card they worked so hard on.

Ziva's eyebrows lifted as she accepted the offering. "What is this?"

"Mommy and Daddy told us why you weren't at Thanksgiving," she explained solemnly, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry your heart got hurt Aunt Ziva. Did Uncle Tony make it better?"

A lump rose in Ziva's throat and she found it hard to speak. Kneeling down, she wrapped her arms around her niece. "Uncle Tony tried very hard motek, but sometimes hearts take a long time to get better."

McKenna considered this. "Is your heart better now?"

Ziva rubbed one of the little girl's pigtails. "Almost," she said softly.

The youngest amigo waved her companions over so Alec and Ryan could get their hugs as well. Then they scampered off to get their skates on, tugging the arms of various uncles in their quest to each be the first one ready. Watching them go Ziva leaned into her husband, trying to control threatening tears. Tony rubbed her back. "That was pretty sweet."

"Yes," she agreed, wiping her eyes. "Tony, I am so grateful for our family."

His lips grazed her temple. "Me too babe." At that point Cassie came into view and he swallowed. "This is the hard part."

"Go," Ziva whispered, urging him towards his best friend's wife. She was well aware of his trepidation for the coming confrontation.

Approaching his long time friend cautiously, Tony hesitantly held out the bakery bag whose contents had taken six different stops to find. But the effort was worth it for her. "Hey sis." It was only on very rare occasions he called her that and as with every other time, she melted. "Forgive me?"

Cassie threw her arms around his neck. "I already have," she whispered. "Don't disappear on me again Dante, I've gotten really attached to you over the last fifteen years. I love you."

"Same here." Tony held her tightly. "I'll do my best. I love you too Cass."

She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "Are you okay?"

He let out a breath. "More than I was last week."

Glancing over his shoulder, she studied Ziva. "Is she?"

His hand came up to grasp her arms. "It's a work in progress. One step at a time. We're a few steps further ahead since Friday."

Cassie touched his cheek. "I'm glad to hear that." Little voices called her from down the hall where the changerooms were, urging her to hurry because Dad was already finished. "We'll see you out there."

"Yeah," he quirked a half-grin, "definitely."

Tony sighed and glanced at Ziva, who moved to join him once Cassie left. "She worries."

Her smile was warm. "She loves you."

He studied her eyes. "Does that bother you?"

Ziva's expression turned curious. "No. I know how Cassie means it. You all are like the brothers she never had and now that everyone is finally together again, she is afraid of losing family."

"It took us a decade and a half to end up in the same city again, she'd have a heck of a time getting rid of us now."

She rolled her eyes. "If you cannot even be gone for a weekend without eliciting that reaction, I do not think any of you would get very far before Cassie caught up."

Tony slid his arm around her waist. "If I had to have a sister, she's the best one I could've asked for. Come on honey, let's go show those rugrats how this skating thing is done."

Content to follow his lead, Ziva matched him step for step hoping they could stay in sync much longer this time before something else got in the way.

**NCIS**

While Ziva and Meira were out for a late afternoon run, Tony sat down at his wife's computer and opened Skype. Choosing Nettie from her list of contacts, he waited for the call to dial through. It rang quite a few times before her picture appeared and he saw a long gray braid laying against her dark purple dressing gown. Tony winced. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

Nettie shook her head. "I was not quite asleep. But I am very relieved you called, I have been so concerned. How is my Zivaleh? Did she get my message?"

Tony's mouth fell open. "Oh gosh. I'm so sorry Nettie, I forgot all about it." Hurt flashed in her eyes and he scraped his fingers through his hair. "The last week has been really bad and I haven't been thinking right. Can you forgive me?"

She smiled slightly. "It is already forgotten. But please have her call me soon? I need to see her for myself."

"I will," he promised, "you have my word."

"Good." Nettie got comfortable. "Now, what can I do for you?"

Tony made a face. "Why do you think I need a favour?"

Nettie rested her chin in one palm. "When you call me alone, it is often because you need something."

That caught him. "I'm not trying to use you."

She smiled. "That's what family is for. Tell me achyan."

He sighed and smoothed a crumpled scrap of paper on the desk. "I need to know what this phrase means, but please forgive me for butchering the pronunciation. It's been four and a half months since Ziva started my Hebrew lessons, but I still feel like a beginner." Tony cleared his throat. "Ha'im matanah ani o qlalah."

Nettie absorbed the words for a few moments, trying to sort out what she thought he'd said and how it made sense. Finally her brow furrowed. "Did Ziva say this to you?"

"I wasn't supposed to hear it, but yeah. I think she had a nightmare. Everything she whispered was in Hebrew when she woke up." Tony's green eyes flowed with concern. "Is it bad?"

"More heartbreaking than anything else," the older woman clarified. "'Am I a gift or a curse?'" she translated. "And it makes me wonder if Ziva asked because she often feels herself to be the latter."

Tony balled up the paper again and chucked it in the garbage, his jaw clenched. "What do I have to do to prove to her that's not true?!" He rubbed his face. "I wish she'd only listen to my voice instead of all the other ones in her head."

"Of them all, I am afraid my brother's speaks the loudest." Her lips were a grim line. "I am dealing with Eli, but his regret may have come too late."

"He broke her!" Tony said loudly. "He shouldn't get another chance."

"That is not for you to decide," Nettie replied mildly.

"Don't get me started on Eli," he muttered darkly. "He messed her up good this time."

Nettie's gaze grew sad. "I was surprised not to hear from her again."

His eyebrows jumped up. "Again?" Though now that he remembered what she'd said in her message, the only way it could've made sense was if she and Ziva talked the same day it was left.

"She called me when he left," Nettie shared. "But it made her so angry she hung up. I wanted to give her space, but I have been worried about how she is handling everything."

"In a word - badly. We haven't had a week like that since she came back from Africa."

"If I had not already thrown a shoe at his head I would do it again!" she spat, then sighed and shook her head. "No, I promised to forgive him. He does not need any more of my sharp tongue yet."

"Forgave him?" Tony asked incredulously, his voice rising. "How can you forgive that man after what he did to her?!"

Nettie studied him carefully. "I will tell you what I plan to share with my niece again when the time is right, though she has heard it from her mother and I since she was small. Forgiveness is not for the one who has done wrong but rather the one who has been wronged. How did I hear it put? Oh yes - unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The only one you hurt is yourself, and by extension those around you by holding onto bitterness."

Tony flopped back in the chair and stared at the wall. "One of my fraternity brothers said something similar not too long ago."

"It is good advice," she reminded him gently. "However, I will say no more. The choice is left to you and my Zivaleh. And I think it is time to say goodnight."

He gave her an apologetic half-grin. "Sorry for keeping you up."

Nettie smiled. "It was a very worthwhile cause. Laila tov motek."

The old woman could make him feel loved like nobody's business. "Buona notte," he replied. Just before she signed off a thought hit him. "Oh wait, Doda."

She looked up. "Yes?"

He let out a breath. "Can you teach me how to say something, or at least, tell me how to spell it?"

Nettie seemed intrigued. "Of course."

Sharing the idea that had come to him over the course of their conversation, Tony eventually got what he needed and thanked his aunt again. She nodded and closed the connection, leaving him to think about everything that had been said and wonder what he could do to show his wife that she was and always had been a gift. The best one he could ever get.

**NCIS**

Tony was sitting on their bed with a pad of paper propped up on his lap when Ziva returned. Hearing the door close, he quickly slid everything into his bedside table drawer and smiled when she appeared in the doorway, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. "Good run?"

"Yes." She leaned against the frame. "And I will kiss you after I shower." She wrinkled her nose. "I am not very fresh smelling right now."

"Fair enough." Moments later the water turned on and he returned to his task. He was playing tug of war with Meira when she came back to get dressed. Tony dropped onto the bed. "You owe me that kiss now."

Ziva turned around slowly. "While I am wearing a towel?"

He grinned. "Unless you want to be wearing nothing at all."

One eyebrow arched. "Only if you keep your hands to yourself." She was significantly improved since Thursday but not quite ready yet to be jumping back into everything.

Tony eyed her lazily. "I like a challenge."

Ziva set one knee on the bed and supported her weight on her hands as she leaned over and pressed her lips to his. Tony's fingers curled into the comforter when she opened her mouth and deepened the kiss, enjoying very much the intimacy and familiarity of that dance. She nipped his bottom lip and soothed it with her tongue, pulling away slowly while he kept his eyes closed and wasn't quite able to stifle a groan.

She smirked when he glared at her. "That was...not playing fair," he managed tightly.

Ziva shrugged nonchalantly. "You started it." She glanced over her shoulder. "I always take the dares ahava."

It was a veiled reference to the Truth or Dare game he'd introduced her to early in their marriage. Tony learned the hard way that she always rose to and usually won every challenge. He hadn't thought of it in ages, but maybe he'd bring it up again when they were back to normal. He wasn't one to turn down creative fun with his wife.

Though she'd considered changing in the bathroom, Ziva dropped her towel and began slipping into comfy clothes by the dresser, feeling Tony's gaze roam appreciatively over her body. Only a hint of fire remained when she turned around, sweeping her hair free of the shirt collar, and was quickly extinguished when he held his hand out to her. Comfortably curling up in her husband's arms Ziva waited, knowing a conversation of some sort was coming.

He buried his nose in her damp curls and sighed. "I told Gibbs I love you."

That startled her upright and she moved away, looking at him in disbelief. Letting Abby in on their feelings was one thing, telling their boss another realm entirely. "Why? When?"

Tony blew out a breath. "When I went over to complain about Eli coming. I may have been a little too vehement about him not getting anywhere near you and Gibbs asked if I was in love with you." The muscles in his jaw flexed to match the hardness of his eyes. "I wasn't going to lie about that Ziva."

Her shoulders sagged and she stared at the bedspread. "I know," she whispered. It wouldn't be fair to ask him to be false about the one thing that mattered most. She hadn't been able to when Abby brought up the same topic two and a half months ago. Ziva stayed where she was for a moment, then scooted closer, trailing her fingers absently over his thigh. "And I would say it doesn't matter, that we can tell everyone now, except I am still not ready for the consequences if we are unable to stay on the same team."

Tony tugged her back to his side. "I love you Ziva, that's not going to change." He stared at his left hand, adorned with the weekend and holiday only wedding band. "We'll figure it out eventually."

She touched his cheek, letting her hand drift down to his neck. "I may never be brave enough to not have you as my partner." Tears began to gather and she shut her eyes. "It is how we met, how us began, until one day I looked around and realized you were so much more than just my friend." To her dismay Ziva started crying. "I do not want to lose that Tony."

He enveloped her in a tight, tender embrace. "Oh honey, shh. It's okay." Tony had never realized how much their history meant to her. "We're not going to lose it."

Ziva looked up, scrubbing away the wetness with one sleeve. "We could."

Tony shook his head. "No, never. It'll always be here," he tapped her temple, "and here." He kissed her palm and held it over his heart. "No one can take those days and memories away from us."

Wanting to argue that things would never be the same if they were split up, she nonetheless acquiesced to her husband's argument and lay her head on his chest. One truth had already been spilled, she only hoped it didn't spell the beginning of the end for the secret they kept.

**NCIS**

**Monday December 6**

Tony and McGee were the first to arrive in the bullpen Monday morning and he surveyed the stack of folders built up on Ziva's desk. Gibbs had given her cold case files to review and input while she was on desk duty. Maybe he hadn't realized she was already doing all their backlogged reports as well, or maybe he viewed busyness as a cure. Regardless, their desks were almost totally clear and hers was not.

He nodded to the pile. "Our little Probette has been working very hard lately, I think she deserves a hand."

"Me too," McGee agreed. "It would've taken me another week to get caught up without her help."

"But slowly, so she doesn't get suspicious," Tony suggested. "You know how prickly she can be about doing things herself."

McGee slid one folder from the middle of the stack. "Good point."

It became their own little secret during the day, sneaking files away one at a time while Gibbs was getting coffee and Ziva gathering updates from Ducky or Abby. Things got busy and they didn't accomplish as much as he'd hoped, but the rest of the week lay ahead of them and for Tony it was an important mission to show his wife how much she was appreciated.

**NCIS**

Almost as soon as they walked in the door after work Tony strode over to the movie shelves and put on music, then pulled Ziva into his arms. At her surprised laughter he shrugged. "It's been too long since I danced with you."

She gracefully spun out, then back towards his embrace. "I will take that excuse any day."

He pressed her close to his body and led them in slow, gentle circles, leaning down to drop a kiss where her shoulder met her neck. "I've been thinking about getting away for Christmas Zi - what would you think if we did something different this year?"

Joy spilled from her expression as Ziva contemplated a vacation with her husband for a reason totally unrelated to her healing or any trauma currently being suffered. She stopped moving and slid her hands up his chest. "Ahava, that is a wonderful idea. Where?"

The way her eyes lit up made Tony certain he'd asked the right question. He cradled her face in his hands, each criteria punctuated by a light brush of his lips over hers. "Somewhere warm...and sunny...and a little secluded...where our only aim is to relax...make love...and spend uninterrupted time together."

Basking in the heavenly word picture he painted, his wife brought his mouth back to hers and whispered, "It will be like our first time away. Do you remember?"

The tone of her voice sent shivers racing down his spine and he forced his eyes open, aiming a mild glare at the woman he loved. "You insult me Mrs. DiNozzo. As if I could ever forget a single second of being alone with you."

Amusement betrayed her mock seriousness. "I only wanted to be sure."

Tony captured her lips in a passionate caress that ended far too soon. He traced her mouth longingly with one fingertip. "Are you quite sure about that break we talked about?"

A brief battle was waged within her, then she put her arms around his neck and whispered a very soft 'yes' against his skin. He hugged her close but let go more quickly than usual, needing the distance to wrestle his desire back into a box with a lock on it that couldn't be opened until she gave permission. Ziva squeezed his fingers to tell him she didn't take it personally and headed into the kitchen to start supper.

She didn't get very far, however, because Tony wouldn't let go of her hand. Her expression asked the question when he tugged her back lightly, the words a bare whisper on his lips. "Reason #862 - I love you for the way you fit in my arms when we dance." Then he was gone to the backyard to escape for a little fresh air. Watching him go, Ziva held in a sigh. Just because he understood didn't mean it was easy, but she treasured the sacrifice, just as she did every one he had made out of no other reason than a deep abiding love for her.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday December 7**

When her last piano students, two sisters, cancelled because of last minute plans with their grandparents, Cassie took a chance that this would be one of the days Allie was home early and picked up the phone once Mark walked in the door and took on what they'd affectionately termed 'Dad duty'. Her friend answered quickly and after sharing a few general details about their days, Cassie got to the point of her call. "Can I borrow your husband for a little while?"

Allie's eyebrows rose. "Hmm, sounds interesting. May I inquire as to the reason?"

She sighed. "Well, a sounding board mostly and perhaps some advice?"

Concern coloured her tone. "Everything okay Cass?"

Cassie played with her wedding ring. "Can I let you know?"

"Sure." Allie disliked being left in the dark but knew when to wait and let her best friend come to her. "Where would you like Jordan to meet you?"

"You remember that little coffee place downtown, with the fireplace? The atmosphere would be nice on a day like today?"

Allie jotted a note. "Since he grew up here, I'm sure he doesn't need my directions. I'll send him over as soon as he gets in."

Cassie smiled. "Thanks Allie. I promise not to keep him too long."

"I'll hold you to that," she commented. "I never get tired of having him around."

"Ah, the newlywed days," the older women commented.

"Right, because you and Mark don't act that way ever," Allie returned, sarcasm out in full force.

"Well, I have two kids that help take up his attention too. You have Jordan all to yourself, for now at least."

Allie rolled her eyes. "Subtle hints are not your strong suit Cass. Nice try but you're not getting anything out of me."

It was on the tip of Cassie's tongue to start asking more personal questions, such as were she and Jordan thinking about kids yet, but this time she kept her nosiness to herself. "That's okay, I don't give up easily."

"I know, and it's one of the reasons I love you so dearly." She thought about it for a moment. "If you send my husband home with a London Fog tea I may have the energy to make a treat I can bring you on Sunday."

'Treat' had a broad definition when it came to foods they enjoyed, but Cassie was willing to bet it would be something she considered a favourite. "Deal. See you then."

"Bye."

With his usual impeccable timing Jordan walked through the door just before five and greeted her with a kiss, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "Hello gorgeous, aren't you a sight for eyes weary of typed pages."

Allie laughed and hugged him. "I'll take it." She let him put his briefcase down, then leaned against the counter. "We're having dinner late tonight."

"Are we?" Jordan loosened his tie and glanced around the room looking for clues. "What's the occasion?"

She blushed slightly, having not missed the way his eyes flickered in the direction of their bedroom. Almost a year of seeing that expression on his face and she still wasn't used to it. "Not that kind I'm afraid." His brow furrowed and she waved the message at him. "You have a coffee date with Cassie in fifteen minutes."

His face changed in a heartbeat. "Is something wrong?"

"She wouldn't get into specifics. Just that she was looking for a sounding board and some advice."

He winced. "I don't know that I'm cut out to do couple's counseling."

"Honestly," Allie offered, "I don't think it's anything to do with Mark. But even if it was, you guys have known each other forever. I'm sure you could tell her something helpful."

"I really don't want to get in the middle of their business, should it come to that."

She cupped his face and pressed her lips gently to his. "Jordan Lewis, you will be fine. Now go, your sister needs you."

Jordan locked his arms around her waist to keep her from moving and looked at his wife hopefully. "One more for the road?"

Allie smiled and complied. "Only because you asked so nicely. I'll see you in a little bit."

"Okay. Love you."

Even if they were married a hundred years those words would never get old. "I love you too."

At the Reece house Cassie grabbed her purse and turned to find her husband right there. "I'm going out for coffee with Jordan. No embarrassing displays please."

Mark sighed. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

She slid her arms over his shoulder, smiling sweetly. "Probably not, but if you're good I'll let you tell me that you love me."

He pulled her even closer. "You'll let me huh?"

"Mmhmm."

Their lips met for a gentle kiss but the moment was abruptly broken when McKenna called from the kitchen, "Daddy, I need help with my homework."

Mark made a face. "Gotta talk to them about their timing."

She touched his face. "Remind me later that we need to finish this."

The promise was enough to make him let go and shift his focus to their daughter, leaving her free to head out. Cassie arrived before Jordan and, having been inspired by Allie's request, ordered a London Fog for herself then snagged a table right in front of the fireplace. Staring out the window at the snowflakes drifting down, she missed her friend's arrival. Jordan dropped into the chair across from her and grabbed her hand. "Allie didn't know enough to make me not concerned, what's going on?"

Cassie smiled fondly. "Concern appreciated but nothing so urgent you can't grab yourself something with caffeine before I ask an involved question."

"That's a little ominous Cass."

She shook her head. "It's nothing bad, I promise. Relax and go order."

Doing as he was told Jordan got in line and was back a couple minutes later armed with strong, creamed coffee. He took a couple careful swallows and leaned back. "Okay, I'm ready."

Uncharacteristically nervous, Cassie folded her hands around the mug. "My dad called a couple days ago to tell me he's getting married again."

Jordan blew out a breath. "Whoa." Just out of college during Mark and Cassie's first year of marriage, they'd all been pretty good at keeping in touch and every one of the guys had showed up for her mom's funeral when the cancer finally won. He remembered those dark days and how tough it had been for Cassie, but just as much for Mark with all they'd gone through after Hannah passed away.

"Yeah." Cassie had a little more tea. "I...still don't know what to think or feel. I was so upset when he told me, I didn't want to face that change. Mark is the only thing that kept me grounded but I'm so...lost right now Jay." She swallowed. "I just thought...I mean, I know it's not the same but..."

He didn't get to the level he was at in his field by not putting the pieces together quickly. "You were wondering how I handled it when my dad got remarried."

She nodded. "Yes. But I hesitate to ask because I don't want to step on old wounds. And I know it's different because you mom didn't die."

"She was dead to me," Jordan stated flatly, then paused to let the bitterness fade away. "She'd been gone seven years by the time Dad met Chelle, nine when they got married. We didn't know what happened to her, still don't. I don't like thinking about her and everything that goes with it, but you can ask about the rest."

Cassie knew she didn't fully understand the depth of hurt her friend carried around and squeezed his fingers warmly. "She's the one who's missing out." A moment later the subject got shifted away from one of his least favourite topic. "How did you feel when Henry announced it?"

"He didn't announce it," her friend corrected. "He never would've sprung something that important on us, not after what happened with our mother. Dad was...he was really great about thinking of us first. He and Chelle were friends for eight months before he even mentioned her, then he sat me and Aria down and wanted to know how we would feel if they started dating. He didn't some right out and say it, but I got the feeling that if we weren't comfortable with the idea he would've dropped the subject and never brought it up again." Jordan swirled his coffee around and sighed. "I'm glad now that we didn't get in the way of happiness he deserved."

There were some hard truths right there that made Cassie uncomfortable, but if she didn't want to face what was happening and find out how to be okay with it, she wouldn't've taken this step. "What were your reactions, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I was more concerned about Aria. She'd been the little princess and the center of our attention for her entire life and I could see the entire situation imploding in a hurry if she felt threatened. But for some reason that precocious ten year old decided she wanted to meet Chelle before she answered Dad's question. She said it very diplomatic and grown up-like, as if she'd been soaking up all the political talk around the house without us noticing. Chelle came over for dinner the next night, Aria liked her immediately, and the writing was on the wall from that moment."

Cassie couldn't help noticing he'd conspicuously left himself out of the equation. "She was ten, you were twenty-five - an adult. Was it harder for you to accept?"

Jordan folded his hands on the table and leaned forward. "When Dad asked us about dating my first thought, which thank God I didn't say out loud, was 'don't you dare bring another woman into this house who might wreck all the pieces we've spent most of the last decade putting back together'. But what I told him was that it's his life and if this was going to make him happy he should go for it."

He spun his wedding ring and smiled a bit sheepishly. "Honestly, I was prepared to hate Chelle the minute she walked in the door for no other reason than that she'd showed up. But, I mean, you've met her, right? The lady is impossible to hate! I don't know if I've met a nicer person in my entire life. It didn't matter how hard I tried, there was nothing about her to dislike. That in itself got on my nerves. I'd think, 'does she have to be so understanding?' or 'why doesn't she try and change our traditions?' or 'I know she doesn't like mushrooms but she just told me that spaghetti sauce was the best she ever had and I put mushrooms in on purpose!'" Jordan shook his head at himself. "I was so irritated about there not being anything to complain about that it made me very difficult to live with."

This was the kind of stuff she was hoping for. "So what changed?"

One shoulder shrugged. "They got engaged. And I watched them at the party, noticed for the first time how young my dad looked, how happy without all the lines and worry he'd been carrying around for years. Then Chelle came over to offer me a drink and said very simply, 'I love your father. He has raised two incredible kids. I just want a chance to make him happy, to be there for him so he doesn't have to do this alone anymore. Will you let me do that?'" He blew out a breath. "I'll never forget the moment. Everything I was trying to hold against her drained away. I accepted the drink, said I'd let her, thanked her for loving my dad and putting up with me for the last year, and went to go hang out with my sister. The first time I ever hugged Chelle was their wedding day when I said 'welcome to the family' and now it's been more than a decade and I can't imagine our lives without her."

"You're not making this easy," Cassie muttered, almost wishing she hadn't wanted to hear the story.

Jordan rested his hand on her arm. "It's life Smurfette, it's not supposed to be easy. But it can be really, really great when you give it half a chance."

Something else she preferred not to think about at the moment. She tipped her head to the side, "Aria calls her 'Mom'."

"Yeah." There was a heaviness in the word.

"Was that hard?"

He swallowed. "She didn't plan on doing that, it just came out one day when she was sampling the cookies Chelle had baked. It was something simple like, 'These are great Mom, can I have more?' Then she froze with the cookie partway to her mouth and looked at me with these really wide eyes before turning back to Chelle. 'Can I call you that?'" Jordan remembered the scene like it was yesterday. "Chelle dropped everything and hugged my sister really gently. 'Sweetheart, that's the best gift you could've ever given me. Of course you can call me that.' Then she glanced at me, knowing the whole thing was really difficult. 'If it's okay with your brother.' Aria didn't even have a chance to turn on the puppy dog eyes before I ruffled her hair and told her yeah, it was okay, that she deserved to call someone Mom." His mouth curved slightly. "And I surprised myself by really meaning that."

"I'm glad it worked out so well," Cassie ventured finally. "But that actually makes me feel worse because I am so confused about this - wanting my dad to be happy but selfishly wishing it didn't have to happen with another woman, that he could be happy with just us." She stared down at the cooling tea. "I know what Jesus would do Jordan, I'm just going to have a really hard time following through in this case."

Jordan tugged her up from her seat and wrapped his arms around her. "That's why you have us Cass. You and Mark set a great example, always have, but it's okay to let us know when you're struggling too. Family comes in really handy when that happens, we'll make sure you have to much support you won't know what to do."

Cassie released a shuddering sigh and held on tight. "Thanks," she whispered hoarsely, "I think I'm going to need it."

**NCIS**

The tag team continued on Tuesday, but became more of a challenge when no calls came in until after lunch and Gibbs ordered them to scrub and restock the truck instead of spending time at their desks. Then it was one agent at a time doing the work while they traded who went out on interviews and the food run. On one of Gibbs' coffee breaks Tony and Ziva managed to be alone in the bullpen and took the chance to book their holiday getaway, getting the options that made it as close to refundable as possible in case work interfered. By the time the boss returned they were back at their own desks and no one was the wiser. The partners got home late that night and wasted an hour watching TV before heading to bed.

Nothing about the day suggested shadows, but barely an hour after they crawled between the sheets Ziva jolted awake and brought Tony with her. She was breathing hard, eyes wild and dilated as she fumbled for the lamp. The splash of light made them both blink and Tony sat up slowly, rubbing his hand across her shoulders. Ziva flinched but didn't shrug him off and he brushed his lips over her ear. "Bad one?"

She frowned loudly. "None of them are good."

He sighed. "You know what I mean."

Ziva dug her fingers into tangled hair and took a deep breath, holding it for several seconds before letting it out. "Just another interrogation."

_How comforting_, Tony thought sarcastically, not sure if she was telling the truth. Even though he knew all of what had happened in the camp, she still never liked to remind him that she'd spent months being violated by her captors. But instead of saying any of that out loud he tapped a finger on the back of her hand. "What do you need?"

_Release_, her mind screamed._ Relief from these memories, from this slow death_. But as much as he loved her, Tony could not make it stop. Ziva lay down with her head near the end of the bed and tucked her knees into her chest, shaking her head. "Nothing."

Helpless to do anything for his hurting wife, Tony stretched out beside her and clasped her hand. He was so tired of this pain.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday December 8**

Though he'd meant to tell her the night of his conversation with Nettie, emotions overrode his memory and it wasn't until he opened his eyes at dawn two and a half days later that he recalled the lapse. With a groan he rolled to his side and touched his wife's shoulder. "Zi."

He had to call her name twice before his attempts at waking her registered and then she blinked solemnly at him from several inches away. "Tony," she began softly, "I have not changed my mind yet."

It took him a minute to work out what she was talking about, then he realized what it looked like. On mornings she didn't run, they often woke early to, in his words, 'start the day off right'. Tony lifted her left hand and kissed her rings. He'd put them on last night after the dream because he wanted something for his wife to hold onto. "No pressure sweetheart, but I've got a much delayed message I need to pass on." Her brow furrowed and he sighed. "Remember the night you stayed at work?" Ziva's thoughts drifted back through the haze of those days and she nodded slightly. "I found a message on the machine before I went to bed. Nettie called after we left for Maryland. She's concerned, wanted you to call her so she could hear your voice."

Ziva sat up. "Tony, that was a week and a half ago!"

He propped himself up on one elbow. "There hasn't really been a right time. But I did forget, I'm sorry."

She was already getting out of bed, stopping to pet Meira as she donned slippers and housecoat. "I am surprised she has not called again. After so long I would've expected her to fill the machine with demands that someone contact her immediately."

Not about to divulge the conversation he'd had with her aunt Sunday night, Tony shrugged. "She's pretty good about giving you space when you need it."

Something about his voice alerted her and Ziva paused before leaving. "I'm not mad."

His nose wrinkled. "Could've fooled me."

She backtracked to sit on the bed beside him. "I just do not like her to worry about me."

He threaded his fingers into her hair. "She's like a second mom to you Ziva, that's part of her job."

Her lips sought his. "Did you want to come?"

Unwilling to give anything away, Tony shook his head. "No, that's okay. I'll let the two of you catch up. Next time though."

Ziva met his mouth with hers again. "If there is time after the call is over, perhaps we could do more of this."

He grinned and stole another kiss. "You'll never catch me turning down that offer."

She rose and returned to her mission, stopping at the door. "I love you."

"Ti amo luce della mia vita." _I love you light of my life._ Tony knew she could say that every day for the rest of their lives and he would still never get tired of seeing her heart on full display.

**NCIS**

Gibbs let them off only shortly after a normal quitting time, a surprise move that halted Tony and McGee's clandestine attempts to put a dent in Ziva's workload, something he was pretty sure she had started catching onto, though she hadn't said a word. It would be a shame to ruin their fun. Not about to complain, Tony went downstairs to the training gym and Ziva left for Ops, meeting back at home an hour later to walk Meira. It was rare lately for them to enjoy that task together and with fingers linked they set a leisurely pace, sharing smiles and the occasional observation but otherwise content to be quiet.

Back home the couple prepared vegetable alfredo and sat across from each other at the table, feeling a peace that had been absent for many weeks. After dishes were done Ziva turned to her husband. "You know what we should do?"

Right away a few suggestions from the naughty side of his brain came to mind but he cleared his throat and took great care rehanging the dishtowel. "I give up."

Choosing not to comment on what he clearly wasn't saying, she leaned her back against the counter. "Make popcorn and watch a movie." She smiled. "It has been awhile."

"That is a fantastic idea." Tony eagerly reached into the cupboard for their snack stash on the top shelf. "Regular or extra buttery?"

"Extra butter," Ziva decided.

His eyebrows rose. "Indulging tonight ninja?"

She stood on her tiptoes and pecked his lips. "Yes." Wanting to add 'in you', she refrained, knowing now wasn't the time to follow that statement up with the kind of indulging they usually did together.

Ziva went over to peruse the movie selection while he listened carefully to the microwave, ready to rescue the food as soon as popping slowed. "What did you want to watch?" she called over her shoulder, eyeing titles like_ Last Man Standing _and _Still Small Voices_. She'd started really enjoying Catherine Bell as an actress over the last few months and Tony was happy to help her find other films to add to that section on her shelf.

The microwave door sprang open and Tony made little hot-hot noises while he opened the bag and dumped steaming yellow puffs into a green plastic bowl. Rummaging around in his backpack, he pulled a sealed DVD out. "I picked this up from the discount bin at the store after being so rudely kicked out of your training session last week."

Ziva dropped onto the couch and examined her nails. "Duke said after that he should've made me worth through the distraction but didn't want to deal with my ire if you'd actually gotten hurt stepping into the middle of something."

He was quite pleased about being labeled as a distraction but didn't rub it in and sat down beside her, setting the movie in her lap. "It's based on a book. You might like it."

She studied the case. "_Holes_?"

"Sigourney Weaver and a very young Shia LaBeouf," Tony added as her fingernails picked through the plastic. "It sounded interesting."

Ziva put the disc in and settled back by his side. The movie was kind of odd, but despite themselves Tony and Ziva were drawn into the story. Ziva especially felt her heart tug as the relationship between Sam the onion man and the lovely teacher Katherine continued to grow. His constant line of 'I can fix that' reminded her of _The Princess Bride_ and 'as you wish' - just another way of saying 'I love you'. It occurred to her that she and Tony needed their own special/covert/innocuous phrase, or perhaps more than one, that could convey 'I love you' and a few other secret things only meant for their understanding even while in a crowded room or closely watched bullpen. The idea was certainly worth putting some serious thought into.

When they got to the scene where Sam and Katherine finally let their true feelings show, Ziva watched it play out a bit sadly. "Do you think Sam realized he was putting his life in danger with that kiss?"

Tony liked the way she was curled against him on the couch, one hand resting over his heart, his arm snug around her back, keeping Ziva tucked into his side. His lips brushed her forehead. "I doubt he thought about anything except that the woman he loved was hurting and he could do something about it."

She nestled her head under his chin. "At least the secret we harbour only endangers our jobs. Our love has never put our lives at risk."

He lay his hand over hers on his chest. "I wouldn't change our life together even if it meant my death. Everything is empty and meaningless without you. The last four and a half years have been the best of my entire lifetime."

Ziva kissed his collarbone. "These last four and a half years with you have been the first time I knew what life really was."

Tony swallowed the lump in his throat, then held her closer and murmured in her ear. "I'll spend the rest of our days showing you how great it can be sweetheart, I promise."

"Ahava," she whispered, "you already have."

**NCIS**

The hour was late and though Tony slumbered beside her, his arm draped across her waist, Ziva found herself wide awake. It happened more often than she'd ever share with her husband, the ingrained reflexes waking her out of a dead sleep as if warning danger might be near. They'd kept her alive too many times to question the sixth sense, but ever since Somalia their only purpose seemed to be depriving her of rest.

If Tony ever became aware of these nocturnal episodes he'd keep her company and try to soothe her back to sleep, but he'd already lost enough rest because of her and Ziva had no intention of denying him even more. Usually she just lay there and tried to trick her mind into returning to dreams. Or if Tony held her in such a way as to make escape impossible, she would caress his skin gently and add to her silently composed 'I love you' list.

But this time getting out of bed was not so difficult and she pet Meira's head gently, padding softly out of the room in slippers while tying the knot on her old, soft bathrobe that she'd had since she was sixteen. Tony kept asking her to let him replace it but she refused. It was something she'd purchased with her own money, a comfort that had traveled many years and miles with her and she was unlikely to give it up no matter how many times it sprouted holes that needed mending.

Entering the office, Ziva closed the door and sat down at her desk, illuminating the surface with a lamp and sorting through her collection of stationery supplies to find the right one. Ordinarily she preferred the mint green paper that came with matching envelopes, but this time a soft grey piece caught her eye, decorated with a corner border of faint white stars. Her preferred letter pen, blue with a very fine tip and liquid ink, was uncapped and Ziva set it on the paper.

_To my husband - I will love you no matter the threat, hold onto you regardless of danger, search for you across any distance, and stay with you for all the years that are left to us. Tony, there is no one who matters to my heart more than you. When she was here Aunt Nettie made it clear that my job was to be at your side, to fight with you for us despite the mess I often feel inside. My priority must always be you, regardless of anything else that is going on in my head. I'm sorry for the days I have failed in that respect. I love you so much neshama, more than I can ever describe. Thank you for asking. I am forever grateful that you gave me the opportunity to say yes. Always, Ziva._

It wasn't a long letter this time, but a few words could often say the same as many and mean just as much, perhaps more. Tucking the sheet into an envelope, she cast her gaze about the room for a place to leave her offering. Nothing jumped out at her so she moved to the livingroom, eyes falling on the extensive James Bond collection taking up an entire shelf plus some. Choosing one at random from the middle, Ziva tucked the letter inside and smiled, looking forward to when he picked the case and found an expression of her love.

Making a quick stop for a credible excuse, Ziva returned to bed and slipped gingerly under the covers. Tony stirred and almost blinked. "Zi?"

She scooted over and kissed his cheek. "Bathroom," she whispered, telling part of the truth.

"Mmm." He encompassed Ziva in his arms and rubbed his nose on her hair. "Luv ou."

Chuckling, Ziva translated easily and lay her head on his chest. "Gam ani. Laila tov ahava."

'Buona notte' got lost in his sleep thickened tongue and he was out again. And listening to her husband's heartbeat, shortly after she closed her eyes so was Ziva.

**NCIS**

**Thursday December 9**

By the end of the week all three desks were cleared and Ziva celebrated by hugging both her co-workers - brief embraces accompanied by a smile that were innocent enough not to raise suspicions. Gibbs rolled his eyes at the display and waved them off. "Go home, all of you."

Not pausing long enough for the boss to change his mind, the three agents grabbed their things and hurried in different directions - McGee to the back elevator where he hoped to find his best friend free to leave and enjoy their usual weekly dinner, Tony to the elevator making animated remarks about the newest DVD added to his collection and how _Inception_ rated good enough to be watched twice in the same week, and Ziva to the stairwell, scoffing at her partner's excitement. Gibbs stared after them but could read nothing in demeanor or body language to suggest they were planning on seeing each other anytime before the start of work tomorrow. However, as they were both skilled undercover operatives he knew appearances had very little to do with anything.

Tony and Ziva met down at the car, carpooling something he'd insisted on until the ban on other physical activity was lifted. He curled his arm around her waist and brought her close, dipping his head and drawing his lips over hers. "Convincing enough?"

She pressed her mouth to his again and moved back, patting his chest. "Sounded like a typical Tony evening to me."

He paused by the driver's door. "Would you be willing to join me for the movie?" Generally she liked action and thrillers as much as he did, but she was also in the middle of a very good book and Tony wasn't sure which one would win out.

Ziva and considered her options - an intriguing novel about a woman with an estate to settle and a man whose business was rare coins, or time with her husband cuddled on the couch. It wasn't much of a contest, but he didn't need to know he always won. She tilted her head. "I suppose it depends on what you are making me for supper."

They got in and he chuckled. "Oh, it's my turn to cook? Wasn't I in the kitchen last night?"

"We prepared that meal together, it is different," she insisted.

He started to see the compromise. "I cook while you read, then you let me drag you away from a fictional romance and into our own for supper and dessert so we can watch my movie?"

Ziva smiled as he put the car in gear and pulled out of the lot. "I knew you would catch on."

"Did you have thoughts on food or am I left to my own devices?" His fallback was almost always some sort of pasta with garlic bread, a fact she knew quite well.

"If you must make pasta can it be fusili?"

He glanced over at her. "You have something against normal spaghetti?"

Ziva shrugged. "Twirly pasta is more fun."

With a grin Tony grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. He absolutely loved when the innocent, little girl side of her showed at unexpected moments. It was something he could imagine a six year old Ziva saying to her mother, or to Tali as she encouraged her younger sister to finish eating. Someday he hoped to see that side out in full force with their own kids. His mental calendar flipped, counting down the months they'd been saving and those that were left - three months until it had been a whole year, but still twenty-four months to go after that. The time remaining seemed like an eternity when they were waiting for something both wanted so badly. But for now the longing had to be tempered. The result, he hoped and sometimes prayed, would be totally worth the wait.

The sky hadn't even begun to get dark yet by the time they made it home and when he pulled into their driveway the tempting expanse of sparkling whiteness called to him. Stepping out of the car, Tony bent down and scooped up a handful of snow. Jumping up, he tossed it at Ziva as soon as she shut her door. The ball exploded on her back and she shrieked as some of the crystalized water made contact with her neck. Turning swiftly in his direction, she retaliated with a snowball he hadn't even noticed her grab and for a few glorious moments they used the car for cover while they darted around lobbing white balls at each other and laughing freely.

Finally Tony leapt out from behind the trunk and grabbed Ziva around the waist, pulling her with him as both fell into the fluffy white stuff. Her cheeks were pink and eyes bright as she leaned down to kiss him slowly. Taking the invitation, he slid a cold hand into her hair and kept her close, deepening the kiss and letting them indulge in some very enjoyable making out until his wife started to shiver. He opened his eyes, rubbing his thumb over her cheek. "I better get you inside." The words came out low and husky, the precursor of hoped for things to come.

Floundering a bit in the snow they managed to get upright and stumbled inside, trying not to lose contact as they grabbed quick kisses and laughed softly, running hands over every bit of skin and clothing exposed as outdoor wear fell to a heap on the floor. In the bedroom, though Tony couldn't quite remember how they got that far, Ziva smiled beautifully as she stood on tiptoe to skim her lips over his. "Now this is fun."

The faint hope he'd felt outside grew as he recalled her condition on making love. "Fun?"

She nodded and brought their mouths together again. That began a fast, almost frantic time of intimacy as both sought to make up for the many days the connection had been lost to them in the wake of Ziva's turmoil. Afterwards, Tony's relief was intense and he captured her lips for a long moment, grateful simply for the freedom to do so. He pushed damp hair away from her face. "Two weeks is a long time Zi. I was beginning to worry you'd lost interest in sex completely."

Ziva caressed his cheek and shook her head. "That will never happen. I am sorry it was so long yakiri." She hadn't done it on purpose and certainly not to hurt him.

He sighed and settled on his side, staring into her eyes. "I guess I need to get used to sex always having something attached to it now. It's not simple anymore like the first couple of years." That fact alone was a heavy burden and more than a little hard to accept.

She swallowed, lowering her gaze to the sheets, and spoke slowly. "Do you...regret the change?" Ziva was afraid of his answer, not sure what she'd do if he said yes.

Tony intertwined their fingers, focusing on her rings. She must've had them in a pocket somewhere, he hadn't seen her put them on. "In some ways, yes," he said honestly, "because it was nice in the beginning to be so carefree." Her face fell and he continued. "But in other ways..." he shook his head. "We never knew each other this deeply before trauma forced us to re-examine everything about ourselves and our relationship. And I can't regret the bond we have now because of that."

Wishing she could escape from reality and this sort of honesty, Ziva instead lay with her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, ever thankful that in spite of all they'd been through and all the trouble she had caused, her husband loved her. That would always be her greatest gift.

Tony let the silence rest for several minutes, then kissed her forehead. "Come on babe, I'll get supper started and you can spend some quality time with your book."

Reluctant as she was to move they couldn't very well go to bed for the night at seven pm so she got up and dressed in yoga pants and a long sleeved shirt, noting his almost matching ensemble. In the kitchen Tony was reaching for the box of fusili when suddenly it hit him that tonight was the final one of Hanukkah and they hadn't celebrated. The revelation changed his meal plan and he started on latkes, drawing from his experience helping Nettie and Ziva make the dish.

Curled up in a corner of the sofa his wife didn't seem to be paying any attention to the food preparations which was why he jumped when she was suddenly beside him and placing a hand on his back. He made a face at her. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack woman?"

One eyebrow rose lazily. "Is that all it takes?"

"Very funny."

She scanned the counter and her brow furrowed. "What happened to pasta?"

Tony paused. "It's the last night of Hanukkah Zi, we're supposed to have something special."

Ziva checked his watch like she didn't believe him about the date and immediately moved to the table, lighting the candles in their menorah. He joined her in saying the first two blessings, stumbled a bit over the phrases, but was rewarded with the clear appreciation shining in her eyes for his effort. They returned to the kitchen and she stayed by his side, prompting a question. "Did the book lose your interest?" She'd been pretty involved in it the last few days.

"I could not focus on the story with you here."

His grin lit up the space. "Oh yeah?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Do not be smug."

But her actions belied her words as she slowly ran her fingers down his back, remaining so close he bumped her with every movement, though she didn't seem to mind. After awhile Tony sighed, "You're making it impossible to concentrate. If I burn these potato pancakes it will be all your fault."

Ziva laughed but obligingly moved away, finding the dreidel in the closet where the candles were and scrounging through his junk food box for candy to bet with after dinner. No M&amp;M's this year, but she did find half a bag of gummy worms and decided they would do. Shortly thereafter Tony brought their plates over, wearing a worried expression. "What is it?" she asked, having noted nothing amiss.

He swallowed. "I forgot what day it was."

She shrugged. "But you remembered in time for this."

"Yeah, but..." he trailed off. "I'm sorry Zi, I didn't get you a present for the last night."

Ziva was relieved. "Is that all? Ahava, you do not need to get me anything more than you already give every day." She flickered a glance towards their room and stepped closer. "Though, if you want to...wow me with a repeat performance later, I will take that in payment. But slower this time maybe?" The first round had been too strong of a need to draw the encounter out.

Tony slid his fingers into her hair. "An invitation to savour being with my wife when it's been too many days since I touched you that way?" He chuckled. "I'd say it's a definite possibility."

She kissed him lightly and pointed to his chair. Food first - dessert always tasted better when you had to wait for it.


	23. 8x11 Ships in the Night

**Friday December 10/Saturday December 11**

Team Gibbs caught a case first thing and were headed out to the crime scene before they ever made it to their desks. It was an unusual situation, as their victim had phoned in to report his own murder and died moments later. While Gibbs did interviews with neighbours and McGee took photos, Tony and Ziva searched the house. The movie cabinet caught his eye and a quick perusal raised questions.

"For a single guy he sure owns a lot of chick flicks."

Ziva chuckled. "I am sure your collection has a few romantic movies to impress women with your sensitive side."

Tony glared. "I don't need chick films to impress women Zee-vah. The DiNozzo charm and an old family pasta recipe is all it takes."

"As long as you don't tell them it's the only thing you can cook," McGee commented.

"Nobody asked you McEavesdrop," Tony shot back.

Ziva wandered down the hall to the bathroom and was back moments later. "There is rose petal bubble bath under the sink. I think we are looking for a girlfriend."

"Check the bedroom," Gibbs ordered, returning in time to hear. Tony eagerly headed that direction and Gibbs pointed to Ziva. "With supervision."

She followed her partner and they shared a smile. "Did Gibbs just send us to a bedroom together?"

Ziva nodded. "I believe he did."

Tony bent his head and kissed her briefly, then moved to the bedside table and slid open a drawer. "Nothing to indicate he was entertaining company."

She glanced over his shoulder. "Perhaps the girlfriend was the one using protection." Dresser drawers were carefully gone through and the bottom one turned up something. "There are some women's clothes in here." Her brow furrowed as she held up a simple nightgown made of t-shirt material and covered with pink polka dots. "Not exactly the kind of pyjamas to impress a lover."

Tony grinned lecherously. "I'd take you in any kind of pjs David."

Ziva snorted. "In your dreams DiNozzo."

He came up behind her. "All the time," he murmured. "But they don't usually include clothes."

Gibbs' impatient strides could be heard in the hall and she elbowed Tony away. He stuck his head in the door, eyeing their proximity suspiciously. Ziva showed their boss the nightgown. "We are puzzled Gibbs. The pieces do not go together."

"Fit," Tony corrected exasperatedly. "The pieces don't fit."

Her eyes narrowed and Gibbs intervened before they ended up with a second body. He handed Tony a picture. "Found this in his wallet."

Ziva studied the two people and recognized the way their dead man looked at the young woman laughing by his side. "They were not lovers."

"No," Gibbs sighed. "Our suspect is his younger sister."

**NCIS**

It took them most of the day to discover the whole story and Ziva found the entire situation incredibly sad. Marine Sergeant Brian Carter had learned that his little sister Julia was being abused by her husband when he returned from a tour in Afghanistan and insisted his home was a safe place to stay when the husband went out of town on business. For awhile the arrangement worked, then James came back and flew into a rage to find his wife missing. After interrogating her friends he turned to family and the resulting confrontation, especially once he'd been informed that Brian had convinced Julia to leave him, left Sergeant Carter dead and his sister missing.

Upon further investigation the team found Julia locked in a small room under the stairs in their house, beaten to death, and her husband on the run. The clock read midnight by the time Tony and McGee wrestled a screaming, fighting, handcuffed James Tash into Interrogation. He was left to stew for half an hour redfaced, shouting expletives, and being an overall pain in the neck until Gibbs stopped at the door with a folder in his hand.

Ziva got in his way. "I want this one," she announced, the dangerous look in her eyes taking him back to Mossad early days.

Gibbs stared her down. "I let you in there alone and he's going to end up in pieces."

"It is no better than he deserves," she spat, gesturing towards the room.

"Your conduct gets questioned and it could lead to citizenship problems. NCIS vouched for you."

Some of the resolve went out of her posture. "I want him to pay Gibbs. I want him to be sorry. I want him to feel as helpless as his wife felt when he snuffed out her life with his own hands."

"Then we do it the right way," Gibbs declared. "You can come, but you don't get any closer than my side of the table or I throw you out. Got it?"

Ziva lifted her chin. "Yes."

Tony came around the corner in search of his partner and saw them enter Interrogation 2 together. Tension coiled in his stomach as he slipped into Observation to watch. He hated abuse cases. McGee joined him a short while later and they stood silently, listening. Gibbs and Ziva did a good job tag teaming the man, but his arrogant facade never broke until Ziva leaned across the table, got in his face, and spoke too quietly for the microphone to pick up. James grew pale, his eyes flickering to Gibbs. Finally he nodded, shoulders slumping in defeat. Gibbs gave Ziva a look and motioned towards the door. A second later Tony was in the hall to meet her.

"What did you say to him?"

Ziva rubbed her arms, staring at the floor. "A very detailed description of things I'm not allowed to do. Gibbs backed me up by not disagreeing, so at least he is a little scared." She sighed. "I don't know which is worse, what I threatened or the fact that he believed me." She pressed her palms to her thighs, resting back against the wall. "I would not...I could never hurt another human being that way again Tony, not after-"

He put his hands on her shoulders. "I know Zi. Not after being on the other side." Tony kissed her forehead, in the back of his mind aware that Gibbs and McGee were only steps away. "Don't worry about it. Gibbs will get what we need."

Her head fell forward and landed on his chest. "I'm tired."

"Me too. As soon as Boss is done we're out of here. And as tomorrow, or rather," he checked his watch, "later today is Saturday, I think some sleeping in should be on the schedule."

"Mmm." Ziva stayed in that position until the latch clicked, signaling an interruption, then quickly straightened.

Gibbs came out. "He confessed. Write it up."

Tony, Ziva, and McGee, who joined them from Observation, stared blankly at him. "It's after midnight Boss."

Gibbs shrugged. "So? It's Saturday. Reports on my desk before you leave. Save you from getting backlogged again."

Ziva nodded. "That is a good idea." Late though it was, she relished the thought of having a clean desk when she turned off the lamp and walked away tonight.

Tony and McGee could see the logic as well and reluctantly conceded the point. Not that they had any choice, since Gibbs had already headed out. The agents settled in at their desks and pulled up the standard report forms. But less than an hour later a temporary system glitch shut down the computers and erased their work, leaving them to start all over from scratch. The later it got the more Tony complained and the grouchier Ziva got. McGee was blamed simply because he was their technology expert and couldn't explain nor reverse what had happened.

Finally Tony gave up on computers altogether and decided to do things the old fashioned way. Striding over to the bank of filing cabinets along the wall, he rifled through a couple before finding the hard copies of blank reports. He began muttering on the way back to his desk. "Two hours ago this seemed like a great idea. Sure guys, let's stay late and finish those reports so we can leave for the weekend knowing, for once, there'll be nothing to catch up on come Monday." He sagged into his chair. "Now I'm thinking we should've just made an argument for being well rested and doing them first thing Monday morning."

Ziva slapped her hand on the desk and shot him a dark look. "Will you stop kvetching! You are not the only one who is stuck here when you would rather be somewhere else."

The Yiddish word sounded like something he'd heard from Aunt Nettie. Tony's eyebrows rose with interest, playing the game. "Oh? And where would you rather be David? Did you have a hot Friday night date planned?" A thought occurred to him. "Or perhaps you were hoping to spend your weekend in the Florida heat with your Miami sunshine?"

She chuckled derisively. "You have quite the imagination Tony."

He clucked his tongue sympathetically. "Must be tough to make time for each other. You're stuck here finishing case reports and he's off frolicking in the waves and lazing about on a sandy beach."

Fiddling with her anniversary ring, Ziva shrugged. "He travels a lot. We have not spoken much lately. I am, however, thinking of using comp time soon to catch up."

Tony frowned. That was the first he'd heard about it. Her eyes flickered to McGee and he understood. They needed to keep the notion that she had a man in her life alive to throw suspicions off their relationship. "You can't use comp time for days off."

"According to OPM guidelines I can."

McGee stared at his teammate. "How long have you been Senior Field Agent?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "A long time. And in my defense, I only read the handbook once."

Ziva folded her hands on the desk, quoting as if reading from a page. "'Even though NCIS agents are salaried, any scheduled overtime hours must be compensated monetarily or with time off.'"

"I was actually told they prefer us to take the time off," McGee added.

"Oh." Tony's brow furrowed in contemplation. "It usually just gets added to my paycheck, no questions asked."

"You're complaining?" Ziva asked incredulously.

"No!" Tony retorted, locking eyes with her. "But I don't need more money. I do need more time." Time he could spend with his wife, trying to make up for all the months of their marriage they'd missed by being separated. A light dawned on his expression. "However, it's never too late." Yanking open a drawer, Tony searched for the right piece of paperwork while Ziva watched curiously.

"What are you doing?"

"Tallying up my overtime. Maybe I'll come with you to Miami Zee-vah."

"You wouldn't last the trip," Gibbs pointed out, rounding the corner with a coffee in hand. "Got more overtime coming. Grab your gear."

Tony's mouth gaped open like a fish and even McGee and Ziva moved much slower as they reached for coats and backpacks. Twenty hours without sleep was about to become much longer.

**NCIS**

"I should've asked this last year," Laurel began conversationally over a cup of tea with her daughter while the Colonel and Ryan went for a snowy walk through the forest behind their house, "but I didn't want to make you think about it too hard. However, your father and I have been very interested in what could compel you to break a fourteen year skating ban and join your friends at the rink."

CJ smiled slightly. "When Brent asked the first time I almost said no. But Ryan wanted to go so badly and I didn't think it was fair to let my old ghosts poison something that could be a lot of fun for him, the same as it was for Chris and me." She sighed. "Getting back on skates was hard Mom, but my guys made a really good distraction while I found my feet again. And the way Brent looked at me...I was really glad I hadn't turned down the opportunity."

Laurel squeezed her hand. "Chris would be really glad to hear you say that honey. Your cousin loved you. I don't think he would've wanted you to let go of everything that brought you joy because of losing him."

"I miss him," CJ confessed softly. "I think about him whenever Ryan pulls out his comic books or I see the old tree in the backyard we used to climb. I think about him when I see Nerds and Razzles and all the old candy we used to share when we were little. I remember Chris and I lazed out on the floor watching _Land Before Time_ and _The NeverEnding Story_, or the first time we saw _Gremlins_ and slept in our sleeping bags with flashlights on all night. He's in every part of my childhood and I just wish..." she shrugged. "I wish he hadn't missed the rest."

"I know," her mom replied, sympathy for that loss in her warm gaze. "Do you still think it's your fault?" Her daughter had taken the blame for too long.

CJ twisted her rings around. "No," she said slowly, "I don't think so. There's a lot of years of perspective between then and now. But it still hurts." She glanced towards the window. "Ryan looks like him sometimes."

"I've noticed that too," Laurel commented. "Their baby pictures are very close, but Ryan had a distinctly different look as a toddler. It seems the older he gets, the more I see Chris in him."

"Well," CJ reflected, "at least I'll always have a piece of my cousin close. Maybe Ryan will be the best parts of both of us."

"CJ," Laurel smiled, "I think he already is."

**NCIS**

A boat. At least the crime scene was interesting and there were many witness stories to check and keep their minds off being tired, but even four very strong coffees hadn't been enough to recharge Tony's batteries. The number doubled over the course of the day and it was night all over again by the time he and Ziva invaded a posh club to interview their suspect, Devin Lodge. They didn't glean much knowledge and Tony had to stop himself from punching the guy for the way Devin ogled his wife.

Somewhere between getting back to the office and Tony's tenth cup of coffee from the breakroom (his tastebuds were officially fried), Ziva fell asleep sitting up at her desk. Because they were not alone he had to dial back the fondness in his expression as he watched her, but he was glad one of them was getting some rest. Aware that a long nap wouldn't be beneficial because it would only tease her with rest they were all being denied, Tony kept an eye on the clock. When it hit 11:03 pm and forty-one hours since they'd last seen their bed, he clicked his pen and tossed it across the room. For McGee's sake he couldn't appear too mature.

And, like the ninja that was his favourite nickname for her, Ziva's hand came up and she grabbed the pen mid-flight. His mouth fell open. "That's crazy! Did you catch that in your sleep?" She opened her eyes and looked at him slyly. "Do you use sonar?"

She flexed her shoulders. "That is why it is called a bat nap." Aiming just shy of his left ear, she threw the pen back and smiled in satisfaction when the object embedded itself in his bulletin board. She enjoyed the fear reflected on her partner's face. It would not do for him to get complacent. "See? Completely refreshed."

McGee groaned and dropped his head on his arms. "Wish I could say the same."

Tony aimed another empty cup at the probie's trash can, noticing with satisfaction that his basketball skills survived sleep deprivation. "Cheer up McDrowsy." He stifled a yawn. "Just think of all the sweet overtime we're accruing. At this rate we'll probably be able to retire early."

Gibbs walked in, eyeing them all sitting around like bumps on a log. "I can arrange that DiNozzo."

His senior field agent immediately sobered. "Getting to work Boss."

**NCIS**

**Sunday December 12**

Two hours later, putting them into yet another day, Tony and Ziva were back at the club to arrest Devin Lodge because of condemning evidence they'd found on him. Not willing to go quietly, Devin tried to toss something at Ziva but Tony blocked it and got to punch him after all. His gratification was lessened slightly when Ziva didn't even break a sweat putting Devin's bodyguards on the floor while Tony handcuffed their uncooperative suspect. He fought them all the way to the car, railing about police brutality and how he was going to have his fancy lawyers sue them and everyone else at NCIS.

Devin was a bit more subdued by the time he sat in Interrogation with a black eye, insisting upon his innocence. "I've got nothing to hide." He leaned forward and pointed at Ziva. "But I would love to see what you're hiding under that jacket Princess."

The man was risking his life and never even knew it. No one called Ziva David 'princess' and lived to tell about it. A strange mixture of emotions crossed her face, the title evoking pictures of a Ziva so young the memory might be a dream, and an Eli David who still treasured her, swinging the little girl up in his arms and asking his princess what she wanted to do today. Ziva blamed lack of sleep on the tears she suddenly had to blink away.

Tony noticed the reaction and frowned, pushing Devin back and sitting on the table in front of him. The man scowled. "Out of my way. You're blocking the view."

"Good," Tony growled, having had quite enough of the overconfident jerk.

Leaning far to the side, Devin didn't let the agent's proximity deter him, still focused on Ziva. "So, what're you doing next week?"

Her impassive mask was back in place and she stayed against the wall, arms crossed. "Testifying at your preliminary hearing."

"Oh." His face fell. "That doesn't sound like very much fun. You know, if you cut me loose I could show you a good time."

Tony's jaw clenched. "I have a better plan. Why don't you give us a really good reason not to lock you up? Because right now things aren't working out in your favour pal."

With a long suffering sigh Devin gave up on the act and finally started talking about something important.

**NCIS**

When McGee made it down to the lab with Agent Borin and Gibbs somewhere in the morning hours of Sunday, no fewer than eight Caf-pow cups littered Abby's workstation. Looking around, Borin's eyebrow arched. "This a record for you Abby?"

The forensic scientist turned and shook her head. "No. We don't talk about the record. It got ugly."

McGee winced at the memory. For starters it had been a really bad case, one with kids involved, which automatically set Gibbs on edge and made his bark worse than normal. They'd spent four days practically living at work, following leads non-stop and still getting nowhere fast. Abby, feeling responsible because she couldn't fix the smudged fingerprints or find any trace evidence from the house they'd searched, pushed herself hard, sleeping for maybe an hour or two over the course of the whole case.

Trying to help, McGee joined Gibbs in supplying Abby with Caf-pow, not realizing she'd practically use it as a drug. The count was approaching mid-teens when all was said and done and she crashed hard, so Gibbs ordered McGee to get her home and keep an eye on her. Withdrawal symptoms started within hours and it was not a pretty couple days while her body weaned itself off the massive amount of caffeine and got back to a normal sleeping rhythm.

Their friendship had been forged in fire during that time and McGee started wondering if love meant still wanting to be around someone even when they were acting extremely unpleasant. She got sick as an aftereffect and ran a fever, not remembering much of what she said. But the things Tim gleaned from her nonsensical rambling made him aware she'd never gotten over her feelings for him either. It gave him hope and a reason to keep trying.

Gibbs said something and McGee came back to the present, realizing they were all staring at him. He nodded, looking to Abby for help. The softness of her gaze told him she knew what he was thinking and she mouthed a couple of words to get him on track. McGee headed for the door. "On it Boss." They really needed this case to be over.

**NCIS**

Shortly after tea time in Israel Eli David left the office and retreated to the bedroom at home that his older daughter had once occupied, a handful of Rivka's pink stationery and a pen clutched in one hand. The air smelled musty and he couldn't remember the last time he'd had a reason to step foot inside. It was tan and green, colours Ziva had picked at eleven when she grew out of the little girl pink. Painting the walls was one of the last things his daughter had been able to do with her mother before she got too sick, after he'd brought them back against their will.

Not for the last time in recent weeks, with his re-awakened conscience thanks to the near constant presence of his opinionated older sister, did Eli wonder how many of his children would still be alive if he'd just left them alone to grow up without him and lead normal lives. His selfishness, demanding Rivka return what was his, had surely killed his brilliant firstborn and adored youngest and effectually erased him from the life of his only remaining offspring. He doubted she'd ever welcome seeing his face again.

With a sigh Eli pulled out the chair from the antique white desk where Ziva had done her homework and brought life to her drawings. He stared at the softly coloured paper and thought about the coaxing and cajoling and blunt orders it had taken for Nettie to convince him to write a letter of apology to his daughter. Not because of his pride, as she imagined, nor from not wanting to, but because Eli knew no words could bridge the gap between them filled with all his failings and misjudgements as a man and a father. Regardless, it had to be done. Putting pen to paper he took a deep breath and began. _My dearest Ziv'keh..._

**NCIS**

**Monday December 13**

The outcome always felt worse when it was family plotting to kill family. And over money too. What was the big deal? What was it about little green pieces of paper that made people abandon all reason and do things no one in their right mind would ever consider? He rubbed a hand over his stubbly face, feeling every minute of the last seventy-four hours. He was getting too old for this. At twenty-five it had been no big deal to go days without sleep, but now in his late thirties this kind of schedule took everything out of him even with the occasional quick nap grabbed at his desk.

Glancing across the bullpen, Tony studied his wife and thought how rung out she looked. Poor McProbie was almost dead on his feet and Abby had flaked out on her futon last time he checked. Then Gibbs came in carrying a coffee accompanied by Abigail Borin. Tony's stomach rolled, threatening to rebel. How could he keep drinking that stuff? They'd all ingested gallons of it since Friday night and he didn't even want to hear the word coffee for at least a week.

The boss observed his very lackluster team. "What's wrong?"

Tony blinked at him. Why did he seem unaffected? "It's eight o'clock in the morning Boss."

"Yeah," Gibbs nodded, "starting time."

The older agent looked crushed and McGee felt a need to point out the obvious. "Boss, we haven't been to sleep yet."

The older man shrugged. "Go home then." Agent Borin said something about sleep being overrated and Gibbs agreed. He hadn't slept through the night in decades.

Not sticking around long enough for the order to be rescinded, Tony and Ziva shouldered backpacks and opted to put on coats in the elevator. McGee looked longingly after them but knew his duty lay sleeping in the lab. Before he'd be able to relax Abby had to get safely home and tucked into her coffin. It was the kind of thing a best friend did, no matter how tired he was.

Though they'd come in separate cars the DiNozzos opted to take a cab, not trusting themselves to be capable of driving. While Tony wanted to face plant on the bed as soon as they got home and not move for three days Ziva insisted they shower, knowing they'd appreciate being clean when they woke up and it would save time tomorrow. Because both were running on less than fumes the shower was shared and they took turns helping each other go through their routines. Minutes after getting out and dried off Ziva lay down and closed her eyes, sighing in relief.

Tony chuckled. "I know you're really tired when you don't move at all." She hummed but didn't say anything. He rubbed her back. "I make an excellent pillow."

Her lips curved slightly. "Yes, you do. But I think I will stay here."

His brow furrowed but she was almost asleep and missed seeing his expression. Only total exhaustion kept him from worrying and wondering what had changed. For the next twelve hours the couple hardly stirred, it was a rest they'd definitely earned.

**NCIS**

Once his team of zombie look-alikes were gone, Gibbs finished his report and caught up on the accumulated team leader paperwork and signatures, logging a couple more hours of work before heading up to the director's office to hand everything in. Leon looked up in surprise when the agent dropped a couple inches' thick stack in his inbox. "Gibbs, should've known you'd still be here."

"Not anymore," Gibbs drawled. "Headed out."

"Would it do any good to tell you to get some rest?"

The older man chuckled and shrugged. "Maybe. See you tomorrow Director."

"Mmhmm." The only thing that would keep Leroy Jethro Gibbs out of the office was death or the end of the world, neither of which seemed imminent.

Taking his time driving home, Gibbs thought of the times Celeste had come to pick him up and how nice it was not to make that trip alone. Granted December wasn't exactly convertible weather, but it was still a good memory. Which may have been the reason he picked up the phone to call his ex-wife as soon as he walked in the door. "Jethro?" she demanded moments later. "Is everything okay?"

He frowned. "Would hello be too much to ask?"

Celeste rolled her eyes. "Hello. Now where were you last night?"

"Last night?" he repeated, lost already in a conversation that had just started.

She picked up on it faster than he did. "You didn't get my message."

His eyes flickered to the simple black box on his counter and noticed a '1' blinking on the digital screen. "Nope."

"It was my turn to call yesterday. You were starting to worry me."

Gibbs sank onto the couch and sighed. "Been working a case three days straight. First time I've seen the inside of my house since Thursday night."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She let the silence rest for a moment. "Was it bad?"

"Always is when someone dies Les. But in this case family was involved..." He shook his head. "I just can't figure it. Why doesn't anyone get what a gift it is to have family?"

"Because they've never lost one," Celeste answered softly. "I can tell by your voice that you're tired. Have you slept at all since it began?"

"Not really." Gibbs dragged one hand down his face. "Didn't feel it until now."

"Do I want to know how many coffees you've had in the last seventy-two hours?"

He shrugged. "Stopped counting after the first day."

"Why aren't you in bed?" she asked, concern in the way she said the words.

Debating whether he should be completely honest, Gibbs decided that not sleeping for so long gave him cause to act like this was an after midnight conversation. "I wanted to hear your voice."

Celeste melted, as she always did when he got real and let her see past the tough Marine facade. "That's very sweet Jethro, I'm flattered. But I really think you need to go to sleep."

"Yeah," he sighed, "probably. Thanks for answering the phone Les, I needed this today."

"I know," she responded quietly. "We'll talk soon. Sweet dreams."

"Have a good day."

The conversation ended with a dial tone in his ear and Gibbs punched the off button. Slowly he stretched out on the broken in old couch and pulled the blanket off the back, feeling around on the floor for his pillow. Moments later he was drifting off, the sound of her voice still fading from his ears.

**NCIS**

The clock had gone a full revolution when Ziva finally woke up to see Tony looking at her. She blinked bleary eyes and tried to decipher his expression. "What?"

He cleared his throat. "What'd I do wrong?"

Her eyebrows drew together. "Nothing that I know of. Why?"

Wrinkling his nose, Tony traced a pattern on the sheets. "Because you didn't want to cuddle with me this morning."

Ziva sighed, reaching to cup his cheek and bring him close for a kiss. "Neshama, you have done nothing wrong. We..." she hesitated on the wording. "We both needed to be close for a long time after Somalia, but now...it is okay to want or need space sometimes, yes?"

He blew out a breath, running it over in his mind. "I guess," Tony agreed finally. "But only once in awhile, right?"

She considered his insistence. "Why do you feel rejected when I sleep on my own side of the bed?"

He twirled a lock of hair around his finger. "I guess I've never gotten over the months I spent without you by my side at night."

"I am right here," Ziva said softly. "At most there is never more than eighteen inches of space between us. Sharing a bed with you is one of the things I love most about being married and I love feeling your arms around me while we dream. But I am not going anywhere Tony, please do not make me feel guilty for the rare occasions when I do want to sleep separate."

Tony stared into her eyes, struggling with his own desires over what was a very reasonable request. At last his shoulders sagged. "I'll try not to. That's the best I can promise."

Ziva molded her mouth to his. "That is more than enough, thank you."

Though reluctant to move from their cozy sleeping quarters, Tony and Ziva got up and made hot drinks, treating it like a morning rather than evening, then bundled into winter clothes and led Meira outside for a walk. "Sorry it's been such a crazy few days girl," Tony said by way of apology as she walked by his side, checking often to make sure Ziva was close by.

"We were not trying to ignore you motek." She added, running her hand down the dog's back. They were grateful the gang was always willing to drop by and feed Meira and let her out when they got stuck at work.

Yawning, Tony checked his watch, stopping abruptly when he saw the date. "Oh no."

Ziva looked up sharply. "What?"

"Today's the 13th."

Her expression was blank. "So?"

"So yesterday was the 12th."

She nodded slowly. "Yes, that is usually how it goes."

"No, Ziva," Tony said impatiently, "yesterday was one year since we got her."

"Ohh." She finally understood and knelt down to kiss her dog's muzzle. "I am sorry we are late to say something Meira, but we are so glad you are part of our lives."

"Yeah," Tony agreed, hunkering down on the other side, "it's been great. I don't know what we would've done without you honey. I think we'd be totally lost if we didn't have you around." He focused on his wife. "We should do something special for her tonight, it is her birthday after all."

About a month after acquiring their new pet, Tony and Ziva had taken her to a well researched vet to see if they could find out how old she was. Unfortunately determining a dog's age wasn't an exact science but the vet placed her at around two years old. Since they didn't know for sure when she was born, they decided to use her adoption day as her birthday so they had a date on which to celebrate.

"Good idea," Ziva agreed. "Perhaps the dog park? And maybe tomorrow we could buy her a new toy or a special treat to make up for missing the day."

Meira was a smart animal and she barked excitedly at 'dog park'. Tony grinned. "I'd say she likes that idea just fine."

Though she was concerned about the park being too quiet to be much fun at this time of night, apparently they weren't the only ones to have the same idea and there was a handful of other pets running around chasing balls and Frisbees and each other. Tony barely had time to remove her leash before Meira bounded forward to join the commotion. "Have fun!" he called.

Ziva leaned into him. "Thank you for suggesting we get a dog Tony. Meira has truly been our light this past year. It is so good to have her as part of our family."

He dropped a kiss on her head. "You took the words right out of my mouth."

When they tired of standing the couple settled on a bench nearby and watched their pet play. Occasionally she came back to seek their affection or share a toy she'd borrowed from one of her friends, then darted away again to get back to the fun. Eventually the crowd began thinning out and Tony whistled for her. "Come on pretty girl, time to head home."

Instead of stalling like a little kid as she sometimes did, Meira came right away and Ziva reattached her leash, ruffling her ears gently. "You are so special. Toda ha-chavera sheli."

Meira licked her cheek and they made the several block journey home. Once inside Ziva made sure she had food, water, and a small pile of treats and joined her husband in the kitchen. He glanced at the clock. "Because it's totally normal to be making dinner at ten o'clock at night, right?"

She helped herself to a carrot piece from what he was slicing up. It appeared stirfry was on the menu. "Normal for federal agents who have just worked three days straight without observing normal mealtimes I suppose." From one of the bottom cupboards came the small wok they used and she found the three sauces to mix together in the door of the fridge. They traded jobs when it came to dicing raw chicken because though she could do it, Tony knew it wasn't her favourite task and liked to be the guy in that situation.

Ziva kissed his lips lightly in thanks and then left him in charge of the meal preparations while she gathered laundry from their room and the bathroom hamper. He left everything to cook together and helped her sort the loads, then returned to move the wok off the heat while she took care of rice. It was nice, working in side by side in the comfort and familiarity of a routine long perfected and sometimes Tony just had to pause and appreciate their partnership – both in and out of the field.

Delicious stirfry with aromatic rice was eaten and enjoyed at the table rather than on the couch, but Tony did choose a movie while Ziva started on dishes, preferring to have an empty sink before they went back to bed, whenever that happened. He changed the laundry before grabbing a towel to dry and they watched the beginning of _Remember the Titans_, making it to the couch before training camp began.

They sat close, his arm across her shoulder, and Meira trotted over to join them, her poor ratty old bunny held gently in her teeth. She settled at Ziva's feet and Tony couldn't help but chuckle. Ziva glanced at him. "What?"

"I was just thinking about our original plans for where Meira would stay." He rubbed his socked foot along her back. "So much for an outside dog, huh babe?"

She smirked. "I guess she never did spend too much time in that doghouse you bought."

"That's okay." Tony smiled at his wife. "It would be lonely in here without her anyways."

Midnight was near when the movie finished and Ziva yawned. "I cannot believe I'm tired again when we haven't even been up for five hours."

"Well," he pointed out, "we did miss a lot more than that in the last few days."

She conceded the point and they got ready to return to bed. The difference this time, however, was that Ziva slept against her husband, savouring the warmth of their bodies pressed together. Their position was a relief for Tony and he held her a bit more possessively than usual as they fell asleep, her nearness the comfort he always desired.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday December 14**

A week after her conversation with Jordan, Cassie casually mentioned to Mark while he was getting ready for work, "I think we should tell the kids what's happening with Dad, give them some advance notice about how things are going to change."

He finished buttoning his work polo. "Are they going to change a lot?"

Her brow furrowed. "I don't think there's any question about that."

Mark caught her around the waist. "Aside from the fact that Claire is going to move into your dad's house, what will change?"

As if that wasn't enough to qualify! Cassie sighed, "Friday nights."

That one clearly hadn't occurred to her husband yet. "Oh."

She smiled slightly. "Yeah. He won't be able to take the kids anymore."

"Are you saying won't want to, or you would prefer he didn't?"

Cassie didn't exactly have warm fuzzy feelings towards her father's fiancee yet. "I'm sure he'll have other things to do on the weekend now. And I wouldn't be comfortable with it if she's there all the time."

He stroked her cheek. "You know she has a name, right?"

She tensed. "I'm trying here Mark. Please don't push it."

"Okay." He shifted the subject slightly. "When did you want to talk to them?"

"After dinner? We better just get it over with."

'We' might be stretching things a bit, Mark was planning to let his wife take the lead on this one. The last couple weeks had been emotionally rough on her and she'd barely been able to have a conversation with her dad since his announcement - something that was rare between the tight knit father and daughter. "You know you have my support."

Cassie kissed him lightly. "Thanks."

She was still unsettled almost twelve hours later when they faced their kids at the dinner table. The tightness in her stomach almost made her feel sick and she had to put on her best pretend face just to get started. "Before you guys clear the table, I have something to tell you." Alec and McKenna looked at her expectantly. "You remember Claire, Grandpa's friend who was at Thanksgiving?"

"She's really nice," McKenna commented, while Alec simply nodded. "I like the way she smelled."

Her daughter's words weren't helping. "Well, Grandpa and Claire are going to get married in a few weeks and she'll be his wife."

McKenna lit up, clapping her hands and smiling really big. "Yay! I love weddings."

Alec frowned. "Isn't Grandpa too old to get married?"

Mark chuckled. "No one's too old to get married Tugs. There's no age limit on love."

"Oh." He shrugged. "Okay."

"Ooh!" A thought suddenly occurred to McKenna. "Can I call her Gramma?"

That snapped the last of Cassie's control. "No!" she blurted, "You can't!" She jumped to her feet and ran upstairs, but not fast enough to hide the tears that wet her cheeks from the children.

Such an unexpected reaction rattled the rest of the family, but no one more so than McKenna. Her innocent brown eyes filled with tears as her lips trembled. "I made Mommy cry," she whimpered, causing Mark to envelop her in his arms. He held his little girl close and kissed her head. "No honey, it's not your fault. Mommy's just upset about a lot of things right now."

She rubbed her face on his shirt and held on tight, then pulled back and whispered, "Maybe you should go give her a hug. Yours always make me feel better."

Mark brushed his thumb over her cheek. "I'm glad to hear that. Alec," he got his son's attention, "do you think you could read your sister a couple stories while I talk to Mom?"

He nodded, "Sure Dad," and held out his hand to McKenna. "Come on Ken, I bet there's some Berenstain Bears books we haven't read in awhile."

Watching them go Mark heaved a sigh and followed slowly, not sure what he'd find in the room he and Cassie shared. She was sitting on the floor of their walk-in closet, one of the few places in the house she could go to be alone if she needed. He stopped in the doorway. "Wanna talk about it?"

Cassie swallowed and shook her head, hands coming up to cover her face. "No." But she only said it because she knew he'd never leave it at that.

He edged further into the space. "You made a bit of a scene."

She still wasn't looking at him. "Yeah."

"McKenna's pretty upset."

That got her attention and she groaned. "I didn't mean to react that way, but Mark it's so hard to let go of everything they should've had with Mom."

Mark crouched in front of her, his hand on one knee. "They have your memories sweetheart."

She closed her eyes. "It's not the same as having their own."

"This is a chance for them to make some."

Cassie opened one eye and glared at him. "Do you have to be so calm and logical about this?"

He tucked some hair behind her ear. "That's what husband's and wives do, they balance each other out. And since you're kind of having a nervous breakdown right now, I don't have a choice."

She made a face. "It's not that bad."

"No," he agreed, "but close enough."

Cassie wrapped her arms around her knees. "Is Ken okay?"

"I think it'll do her a lot of good if you go tell her you're okay."

She looked down at her hands. "I should probably tell her some other stuff too."

"Want me to come?"

Her hand found his cheek. "No, this is something I need to do. But I appreciate the offer."

Pushing herself up from the floor, she started to leave when Mark caught her hand and tugged her against his chest. "Ken prescribed a hug. I guess she got the right nickname."

Cassie burrowed into her husband's embrace, drawing from his strength before stepping back and letting her lips lightly caress his. "You're the best."

He grinned. "I'll never hear that enough."

Rolling her eyes, she went down the hall and stood at the door of her daughter's room, observing brother and sister together before rapping lightly on the frame. "Can I come in?"

Alec's eyes flickered up from the page. "Do I need to leave?"

Cassie shook her head. "No, this is something you both should hear." She joined them on the floor, sitting between her children, and put an arm around each of them. "First of all, I'm sorry I upset you McKenna, I didn't mean to yell. I should not have responded that way to your request."

"I won't ask again," the little girl assured her.

"Oh sweetie, that's not what I meant." She tried to find the words. "I'm sad because I will always miss my mom, so it's hard to think of my dad married to someone else. We'll have to ask Claire what she would like, but I think you both deserve to have someone to call Gramma. You've never really had that before."

"So it's okay?" Alec ventured.

Okay was far from how she felt. "I'm sure Claire will be honoured if you want to call her Gramma, it's a very special word." There was absolutely nothing else she could think of that would be the truth, since saying 'I won't have a problem' or 'I'm okay with that' or 'It's fine with me' would all be bald-faced lies.

"I'll only do it if that won't make you cry again Mommy." McKenna still felt bad.

Cassie kissed her cheek. "It won't make me cry again honey. You go right ahead." At least, she wouldn't cry where they could see her if it came to that. "I love you both so much, you know that right?"

Alec leaned his head on her shoulder. "We know Mom. We love you too." Then he placed the next book in her lap. "I think it's your turn to read."

She smiled and opened the cover, her gentle voice making the story come alive. Mark viewed the scene from outside the door and felt his heart get a little lighter. No matter what else was going on, his wife made such a good mom. He would always be thankful for the way she loved their children.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday December 15**

Tony brought in the mail after work with a strange look on his face. "There's a letter for you."

Ziva set down the knife she was using to cut broccoli and cauliflower for steaming and wiped her hands, going to him. "What is it?"

The moment he showed her the pale pink envelope belonging to her mother's stationery set, she knew. Before she saw her name written in his distinctive style, before she read the return address she'd memorized the week they moved to the Tel Aviv house, Ziva knew the letter could only be from one person. Filled with rage and aghast that Eli would dare try to contact her after what happened last time, she tore it into two pieces and threw the papers in the garbage with great vehemence. Shutting the cupboard door firmly, she picked up the knife and resumed preparations, chopping the vegetables with more force than necessary.

Tony observed her jerky movements and the stiffness of her posture. "Zi?" he ventured after several moments.

"I am fine Tony," she bit out in a manner that totally falsified her words.

He moved slowly across the room and stopped behind her, setting his hands on her hips. Ziva stilled and he held his breath but a moment later she relaxed and lay the knife aside, turning to face him, both hands sliding up his chest as she met his eyes. "Really, I am fine." Ziva raised her face and kissed him softly. "I promised not to let his actions affect me anymore. This is no different."

Relieved, Tony burrowed his hands into her hair, loose just for him after she showered at the gym, and possessed her mouth with unexpected fervor. Ziva responded and all thoughts of supper were forgotten as husband and wife threw themselves into the familiar give and take, speaking and listening, communicating in a way that never needed words. Finally breaking away, she swallowed hard and leaned her forehead on his chest while her heartbeat slowed and a normal breathing rhythm returned.

Ziva looked up at him, a small smile playing on her lips. "I love you," she whispered.

Tony caressed her cheek, watching her eyes flutter closed. "Sei il centro del mio mondo," he murmured. _You are the center of my world._

A gentle kiss was bestowed on the corner of his mouth for that and she returned to the vegetables. Since her cheese sauce recipe was already sitting out on the counter, he nudged Ziva aside to deal with that (he always scalded the milk) and took over chopping duties. Her hand down his back telegraphed silent thanks and the meal was made in comfortable togetherness.

Long after dishes were washed and they'd snuggled on the couch for one of the Indiana Jones movies, Ziva announced her intention to take Meira for a long walk before bed. Because he had a mission of his own, Tony let her go with a brief brush of his lips over hers and saw them safely past line of sight before going into the office. As the Skype call rang through Tony could only hope this was one of those days Nettie chose to be up before sunrise, which wasn't for another hour and a half on her side of the globe.

She answered still sticking pins into the familiar updo she'd learned at sixteen when her parents finally started looking at her as a woman instead of their little girl. "Boker tov achyan, this is a surprise."

Tony gave her a half-grin. "I'm just glad I didn't wake you up this time."

Nettie waved her hand like it was of no consequence. "What puzzle are we wrestling today motek?"

"Ziva got a rather surprising letter in the mail."

"Oh." Her quiet reaction led Tony to believe she'd somehow been responsible. "And?"

"She tore it in half and chucked it in the trash." Disappointment showed on Nettie's face and his eyebrows rose. "Did you expect any different?"

"No," she replied softly, "it is as I thought. I know my niece and I did the same when Eli first tried to contact me again. But despite how she feels now, there may come a day when she regrets losing this chance."

Tony drummed his fingers on the desk, considering the possibility. He knew from experience that regret was a bitter punishment. "What do you think I should do?"

Nettie reached out as if she could touch him through the computer screen. "Guard them for her achyan. It will be your lead she follows when that day comes."

He noticed she said 'when', not 'if', as if Ziva and Eli actually having a relationship someday was a forgone conclusion instead of a virtual impossibility. He didn't share her certainty but was willing to take the measures and steps necessary, just in case. Nodding solemnly, Tony gave his agreement and then proceeded to ask his aunt about her work and listened with amusement to her stories about both children and elderly.

Once they were caught up he left her to have breakfast and walked into the kitchen, pulling the garbage can from under the sink. He fished the two halves out with no difficulty, though they were damp from the broccoli and cauliflower stems and bits of green and white clung to both sides. Tony wiped them clean and returned to the office, but returned to change the garbage so Ziva wouldn't be any the wiser.

After it was deposited in the large can in their garage he sat down and carefully pulled the papers out, matching pieces together and taping them front and back. He needn't have worried about snooping, as it was entirely in Hebrew, and the letter didn't look too much worse for the wear when he put it back inside and resealed the envelope. Now the question was, where to keep it? A thorough look around the room had Tony choosing the bottom drawer of his desk, burying the letter under some unimportant documents Ziva would never have reason to touch. Sliding it closed he sat with his hands folded, hoping he'd done the right thing, and wondered how to support his wife in whatever came next.

_Replies:_

_Guest - Tony has proven himself to be an incredible man and husband, not everyone could fight through what he and Ziva have and come out stronger on the other side. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest #2 - I agree, it is time for R12 to be shelved but for the sake of the story it's got a little time left in center stage. lol...wouldn't most of us at this point like to find a man like Tony? I know I would ;) I do hope they exist out there somewhere. Good luck with your search! Thanks for reviewing ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - me too. It was a rough couple of weeks for her but things are looking up now. The snowball fight was unexpected but a fun way to renew their intimacy. I know I don't use the team as much as would be nice in this version, but they all are such good friends and it's nice to see that support play out. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	24. 8x10 False Witness 1

**Thursday December 16**

"Any team not working an active case will be required to attend a sexual harassment seminar at 1100 today."

Gibbs heard the ghost of history past in Tony's words, remembered standing next to Jenny in the room as his team unintentionally did their best to annoy the lecturer. As soon as those thoughts crossed his mind he shook them away. Reminiscing about Jenny always caused an ache in his heart, but the only woman he should be thinking of was Celeste and the fragile hopes he clung to as their weekly conversations continued. They could have something, if they went about this the right way, and he didn't want to mess it up.

"Boss, do we have to?" his senior field agent whined, interrupting the stuff in his head.

"Can it DiNozzo," Gibbs barked. "We've been lucky for three years, couldn't last forever." Mentally he was resigning himself to an hour of counting ceiling tiles, but someone had to be the boss and that task fell to him.

**NCIS**

In the breakroom shortly before their presence was required upstairs, Tony threw his coffee stir stick in the garbage. "I propose a challenge," he announced, without turning around.

Ziva tasted her tea and returned the sugar to its place on the shelf. "What kind of challenge?"

He neatly aligned the coffee pot and mugs. "Note passing, without getting caught."

She snorted and lifted the cup to her lips. "That is not very difficult."

"It is with Gibbs in the room," he retorted. "Especially if we're exchanging ideas of bedroom appropriate activities and being discovered means it all comes out."

That was an awfully bold suggestion coming from him and she hesitated. At that Tony grinned and lowered his voice. "I thought you always took the dares Zee-vah."

Ziva considered this and knew there was only one answer or he would gloat unmercifully for days. "I accept," she decided, staring out the window. It was a risk, but that sort of distraction ensured the instructor remained alive and unmaimed until the end of the seminar.

"No change in expression, no blushing, nothing that communicates anything other than utter boredom," Tony warned.

She wanted to argue about the blushing, that it would not be a problem, but her husband could make that happen all too easily if he said the right thing. "Very well." Ziva headed back to her desk without even glancing his direction, and Tony followed wearing a smirk. Oh yeah, this was going to be fun.

**NCIS**

Their first glimpse of how the conference room was set up changed all their plans. Instead of individual desks, three rows of tables took up the space with chairs set neatly at regular intervals. Hurrying but trying to act casual, Tony and Ziva chose two spots at the end closest to wall in the middle row, exchanging amused glances when Abby and McGee did the same at the front. Gibbs took up his customary seat on the window ledge sporting crossed arms and a scowl. He'd wanted to intercept them and send all four to separate corners of the room, but seats were filling up fast and the opportunity was lost.

Before the lecture began Tony made an exaggerated show of moving the pens out of Ziva's reach and cocked an eyebrow at her. "Same rules, new plan?" he mouthed. She nodded and slid her fingers over his leg. The contact made him jump and he glared at her triumphant expression. _1 point to her_. He wondered what the prize would be for the winner.

Ahead of them Abby turned to Tim. "It better not be that Ms. Taylor woman again. If she tells me I can't hug people..."

McGee put his hand over hers. "The team'll back you Abbs. None of us would last very long without your brand of love." Her grin proved his words to be a wise choice and she started doodling on the notepad in front of her. He studied the pen strokes and made a face. "No voodoo dolls, right?"

Abby rolled her eyes. "I don't believe in them Timmy, I just found the activity relaxing." She patted his arm. "Don't worry, they're all gone anyways. I only have Bert now and he's totally harmless."

That revelation made Tim feel better and he had to resist the urge to press his lips to the side of her head. With Gibbs watching that was like signing his own death warrant.

Without further ado the seminar began and luckily for Ms. Taylor she wasn't the instructor this year. Instead they had a gentleman who was able to weave humour into what was meant to be a serious subject. He was also spared the goofy questions from the group since they'd all been through this before.

During the entire presentation while Abby and McGee played Hangman, compared notes on move and meal ideas for the evenings together in simple number code, and practiced his fingerspelling abilities, Tony and Ziva were occupied with much more engaging pursuits. When the instructor talked about green light behaviour Tony drew his fingers lightly over her palm, feeling her muscles tense in an effort to reign in a natural reaction. Yellow light behaviour was followed by Ziva slipping off her shoe and rubbing her socked foot slowly up and down his calf. Try as he might he lost a little bit in the 'no change in facial expression' category and his wife's soft laughter under her breath told him she thought she was winning.

For red light behaviour and in retaliation Tony upped the ante and settled his hand on her thigh, fingers gently caressing the spot where her tattoo was. Ziva gamely kept a straight face but when he moved his hand even higher she squirmed and he got a satisfied grin on his face. Current score: Ziva 2, Tony 1. Determined to at least tie that by the end of the monotonous two hour session, he gave up on physical forms of getting to her and reverted back to the original notes idea.

His first few lines were rather innocuous, nothing too sizzling, hoping to lull her into a false sense of security. But then, appearing to be listening carefully and writing down points from the lecture, Tony scribbled a very detailed description of what he planned on doing to her and for her when they got home. Always checking to see where Gibbs was looking before making another move, he slid the pad her direction and Ziva read it in brief snatches, keeping her eyes mostly focused up front. At first he thought she was going to win this round too, but when she finally got to the bottom of his plan the tiniest hint of colour rose to her cheeks and blossomed. He chuckled quietly and in his mind evened out the score. Either they would both be paying up later or they'd call it a draw. The sideways glare she gave him for getting to her made Tony uncertain which would happen.

Finally, mercifully, the seminar reached its conclusion and they were all dismissed for lunch. Both halves of the couple were diligent about checking their area and taking with them any incriminating evidence before quitting the room. Then, though he tried all the way downstairs to get her attention, Ziva steadfastly ignored him and grabbed her purse, linking arms with Abby who was waiting in the bullpen. Apparently he'd been unaware they had plans but it rankled him that she didn't even offer to bring something back.

Tony had resigned himself to coffee and a stale donut from the cart outside, his fun plans soured by his wife's inattention. It wasn't like Ziva to pout and he wasn't in the mood to apologize for something they'd both agreed to and an action he wasn't sorry for. Everything changed, however, when she stepped off the elevator and set a paper sack on his desk, smiling sweetly. His eyebrows rose. "And what is this?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "Lunch. Healthy lunch Tony. And I hope a better alternative than what the offerings are downstairs."

Unable to resist, he peeked inside and found a club sandwich with extra bacon and a side salad sporting thousand islands dressing. His good mood returning, Tony looked up to thank her only to find that his wife had disappeared. Frowning at her empty desk, he pulled everything out of the sack and found a scrap of paper at the bottom that had him quickly abandoning plans of eating for the copy room. It was dark when he stepped inside but before he could reach for the light switch two hands framed his face and warm lips met his. Tony groaned with relief, the interminable time of not being able to really touch her earlier taking its toll, and held her tightly against him.

Without the lights on everything felt more private and secret, which may have explained Ziva's daringness as she breathily whispered in his ear her plans for him as soon as they were free of the building. Her arousing recitation of what he could expect was frequently interrupted by searing hot kisses and hands that wandered under shirts and over warm skin. They were dangerously close to breaking their rule about workplace appropriate behaviour when Ziva lips possessed his once more and tore herself away, darting to the bathroom to try and repair the obvious signs of making out before she returned to the bullpen.

As far as Tony was concerned, he had to wait a few minutes before he was fit to be in public again. Then he went to work on his sandwich and salad despite the fact that the only thing he was hungry for was currently sitting across from him and completely disregarding any attempt he made to catch her eyes. He finished the meal quickly because someone would notice if Tony DiNozzo didn't eat all the food in front of him and tapped out a text to his wife, acting nonchalant when her phone buzzed. A tiny smile played around the corner of her lips when she read his message 'Counting the minutes. Love you babe' but her gaze remained steadfastly on her computer so as not to give anything away.

They made sure to leave the building separately, staggering departure times by at least ten minutes, hoping to cast off any suspicion their earlier games may have triggered, and raced home separately to indulge in each other and make up for all the waiting that had been required during the day. After the partners left and McGee gave a lame excuse to make Abby's lab his last stop before heading out Gibbs leaned back in his chair, thoughts drifting back to the morning seminar. He reached for the phone and dialed what was fast becoming his favourite number, hoping she would be available to talk.

Celeste answered three and a half rings later with a smile in her voice. "Hello Jethro."

"How's your day been Les?"

She laughed. "Judging by your tone far less interesting than yours. What happened?"

He rolled his eyes. "Spent some time in a sexual harassment seminar this morning."

"That's something they have to teach you?" Celeste responded dryly, imagining the glare he was giving her.

"Well it's certainly not discouraging them, that's for sure," he grumbled.

"Oh?" she sounded interested. "See something that got your dander up Papa Bear?"

"They wouldn't know sexual harassment if it walked up and slapped them." He remembered the conspiratorial way McGee and Abby kept their heads bent together and assumed the worst, even though what he could read of the fingerspelling wasn't crossing any lines. "They do it just for fun."

Celeste leaned back on one hand. "I'm sure I don't have to guess, but does this have something to do with Tony and Ziva?"

Gibbs scowled. "What's the tone for?"

"Come on Jethro," she protested. "You give them a hard time even when it isn't warranted, just in case they might've done something that conflicts with your precious rules. So what is it today?"

"Nothing I can put my finger on." To be fair he hadn't actually seen them doing anything, but their chairs were placed close enough to hide anything happening under the table and no one was ever going to believe Tony had actually been taking notes near the end.

She sighed. "You need a new hobby. Let them alone for crying out loud." Lexie rested her head on her mistress's knee and Celeste changed the subject. "I think my dog misses you."

Gibbs didn't bother trying to figure out how the conversation got there. "Why's that?"

"She knows when I'm talking to you. I get this sad, puppy eyed look and I know she's trying to tell me something." The woman fondled her dog's ears and sighed. "You were so good with her."

As much as he wanted to say, 'Bring her for a visit', Gibbs cared more about respecting the pace they were setting for whatever this turned out to be and held in the words trying to come. "Tell her I said she deserves an extra biscuit."

Celeste shook her head. "You'll spoil her."

He had the feeling they weren't only talking about Lexie. "You didn't answer my question. What did you do today?"

Getting up, she wandered over to the balcony off her room and leaned on the railing, basking in the warm, California night air. "I'm glad you asked. For once I have something to tell." Celeste counted it a great victory whenever they could have a conversation that revolved more around the two of them than anything to do with his team.

**NCIS**

**Friday December 17**

When she got out of the shower Ziva dried and started to tuck the towel around her body like usual, but then a wicked thought came to mind and she dropped the terrycloth to the floor, sauntering out to the main room in only her skin. She winked at her dumbfounded husband and continued to their room, knowing he'd be along as soon as the shock wore off.

Tony almost choked on his coffee and rushed after her. Ziva was lounging on the bed waiting for him and he stared. "What was that?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "I just wanted to see your reaction." It was a relief to finally feel confident about her body again and being able to show it off for her husband was a reward for the months of hard work at the gym. His fingers went to the buttons on his shirt and Ziva shook her head, smirking. "Now, now ahava, do you want to be late for work?"

Tony eyed her seriously. "Yes."

She sighed. "It would be fun." Ziva got up slowly and brushed past him. "But we cannot both be late."

Her husband seemed frozen to the spot, permission not granted to touch her until a black bra and panty set was in place and she looped her arms around his neck. "It's not nice to tease minx."

Ziva gave him an adoring smile. "Perhaps. But it is fun, yes?"

Tony took over her mouth for a long, deep kiss while his fingers flirted with one bra strap, sliding it down so he could press his lips to the warm tan skin. "Now I won't be able to think about anything else the whole day."

Her eyes twinkled and she spun away. "That was the idea."

And true to her prediction thoughts of each other consumed the couple all day. The looks they exchanged went from the usual mildly flirtatious to smouldering, the intensity of which could almost be felt by the other bullpen occupants. At one point after Gibbs breezed by them saying something about coffee, McGee muttered, "If you guys stare at each other any longer, you'll need to get a room."

His statement startled them out of their own little world and Tony frowned at their teammate. "What was that Probie?"

"Oh," the younger man scoffed, "like you didn't notice." The partners shared confused glances and he sighed. "It's a little awkward when you guys do that thing where you're the only two in the room." He rubbed his eyes. "Couldn't you just have sex already and get it over with?"

Tony and Ziva stared at him in shock that those words had actually come out of his mouth and McGee froze. "Uh...did I just say that out loud?" They nodded dumbly and he groaned. "Awesome. Can we please just forget the last two minutes ever happened?"

Suddenly realizing the effect they'd been having on those around them, the couple agreed immediately. "I think that would be best," Ziva intoned. "We will not speak of this again."

So for the rest of the day they toned down the passion simmering between them, though Gibbs still dished out a hefty headslap the first time Tony so much as glanced in his wife's direction after he returned with his customary drink. Getting off work before suppertime was unusual but there was nothing that required them to stay late and they had a feeling Gibbs just wanted them out of his sight for awhile.

Any ground that had been lost in the pursuit to keep arousal levels high all day in exchange for bullpen comfort was regained with a several minute pause of the elevator before they parted ways to work out separately and planned to meet at home in precisely one hour. At Ops Ziva stared at her reflection in the changeroom mirror for a long time before she heaved a sigh and slowly walked out, making a beeline for their usual studio where her trainer was set up. "Good thing you're here Ziva, I've got some-" but whatever he planned to say was cut off when he caught sight of her appearance.

After a year of working out in long pants and shirts, Ziva had finally decided it was time to bare her scars to Duke. Tonight she wore shorts that ended mid-thigh and a black sports bra she intended to cover up with a tank top once she accomplished her goal. The knife slashes on her legs, though faded more than she expected, could still be seen upon close examination. Some of the marks on her torso stood out too much for her liking, and when she took a deep breath and turned around, she knew even before his quick intake of air that the damage to her back was impossible to miss.

She let him look for a minute, than put her shirt on and moved to face him once more. "I do not like the permanency, but they have healed much more and better than I ever could have imagined when I first returned home. I thought you should know."

Duke rubbed a hand over his hair. "Ziva...I don't know what to say." In the beginning he'd assumed she had scars, there was no doubt about that given what her medical records reported, but as the months passed that detail had slipped to the back of his mind and he hadn't thought about it at all. But now... "I'm sorry."

Ziva shook her head. "I did not show you so you could be sorry. They are part of who I am. But I did not want you to accidentally see them someday and worry more." She flipped her ponytail over her shoulder. "So, what shall we do tonight?"

He could push away what he'd just seen and focus on training, as a solider that was required daily - to ignore the horrors and push on doing his job. But Duke knew he'd have a hard time shaking those images and forced a chuckle. "Actually, I think I'm going to let you loose on the guys." He jerked his head towards the main part of the gym. "Go rustle up some contenders. It's been awhile so I'm sure you'll get a line of people wanting to pit their skills against yours."

Her eyes twinkled. "Very well. How far should I go?"

Duke shrugged. "Leave a little of their dignity intact, will you?"

"I'll try," was the most she promised before heading out.

For the rest of the hour Duke stood near the ring and watched Ziva face down soldiers without flinching and made notes about things they'd have to work on. But even though she'd put on capri length pants and a striped t-shirt to hide her scars again before joining the general population, when he looked at her tonight that's all he could see and he wondered now what else he'd missed.

**NCIS**

Ziva practically flew into Tony's arms when she arrived home shortly after six-thirty and though their bodies were buzzing with anticipation of what came next, they agreed to take Meira for a quick walk around the block since they were spending the evening with the gang and likely wouldn't be back until late. Once her leash was hung up and mindful of the fact that they had less than an hour before they were due at Mark and Cassie's, Tony and Ziva hurried to their bedroom, stealing kisses and laughing at the joy of being together.

They were partially undressed already when Ziva nipped his earlobe. "There is not very much time."

He kissed her with an undeniable urgency. "Yeah, but if we don't do this now I'm not going to make it through the movie." His lips followed a trail down her neck and she moaned softly. "I somehow doubt," Tony continued, breathing more heavily now, "that Mark and Cassie would be very impressed if we snuck away to meet in the bathroom for a hot and heavy make out session."

Ziva pressed herself against him, very pleased at the reaction she was able to elicit from her husband. His desire made her feel so powerful. "I do not think," she whispered in snatches onto his skin, "that making out would be enough, no matter how intense it was."

Tony grinned and backed her onto the bed. "You want to see intense Mrs. DiNozzo? Because it just so happens what I've been thinking about all day is going to make fireworks pale in comparison."

She chuckled at his description and when their lips met again there was no stopping what came next.

Only a few minute before what would no longer be considered fashionably late, following their rousing time of thoroughly enjoying each other and all the pleasures of being married plus a quick shower to hide some of the signs that would testify to what they'd done (nothing at all to be embarrassed about but something they also did not plan on sharing with their friends) Tony and Ziva walked up the steps to Mark and Cassie's house, holding hands and shooting each other secret smiles and covert glances. Since they hadn't been able to spend as much time on one another as usual, he had a feeling there might be some pre-bedtime fun happening later as well, and that thought kept a grin firmly pasted on his face.

Mark opened the door wide and waved them in. "Just in time DiNozzos, the fun's about to start." The couple shared a look that spoke of an inside joke he'd obviously missed, then Tony cleared his throat.

"Man, I can't believe we're finally doing this again."

Adrian leaned his head over the back of the couch. "I can't believe we waited so long to revive a twenty year old tradition."

Ziva glanced at the DVD case on the coffeetable and frowned. "_Enemy of the State_. It does not look like a Christmas movie."

Darien chuckled. "The rule around here is that if it happens in or around the Christmas season, it counts as a Christmas movie."

Jordan brought over two bowls of popcorn while Brent followed with a tray of drinks. They set down everything and wrapped Ziva in a hug, which prompted Adrian and Darien to do the same thing. At that moment Cassie peeked her head around the basement door. "Do you need to be rescued?"

Ziva bent down to place a chaste kiss on her husband's lips, then walked towards her friend. "No, I'm coming." She followed the blonde woman downstairs and Darien rolled his eyes.

"D, you should see the look on your face."

Tony was so busy staring after his wife that he didn't realize he'd become the center of attention. "Huh?"

"Yeah," Jordan pointed, "that."

He schooled his expression. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I bet I could guess the reason," Adrian started, ducking when Brent reached over to smack him. "But you know, I won't."

"Let's get a move on," Brent interjected. "We need to make the best use of our time since Mark and Cassie so graciously gave up Date Night for this occasion." He was also trying to forestall any other awkward comments Adrian might feel the need to make. The man had been born without a social filter.

Mark grabbed the remote and pressed play. He could guess the reason Tony was in such a lovesick mood too, but it was really none of their business. He was just glad to see marriage continued to agree their friends.

Down in the basement the girls of the group were all curled up on plush chairs and a nicely broken in old sofa. Setting out their selection, Allie tossed a concerned glance at Ziva. "We should've asked earlier, are Christmas movies okay with you Ziva? Because we could always watch something else. We don't want you to feel left out."

She smiled and shook her head. "I have a great appreciation for the Christmas tradition. Tony and I celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas both and my husband owns almost every Christmas movie every made. This does not bother me."

"Well in that case," CJ offered, "do you have a favourite?"

Ziva scanned the DVDs strewn across the table. "I enjoy _The Last Holiday _and _The Christmas Card _very much, but it would be nice to see something new as well. What is the top choice?"

Allie tapped a black case. "Cassie's on a Hallmark kick, so any of these would work but _Season of Miracles _is one of her favourites."

"I can answer for myself," Cassie interjected mildly, not really bothered.

"We're currently debating the merits of country stars in Christmas movies," Emma added. "Dolly Parton's _A Smoky Mountain Christmas _or Randy Travis in _A Holiday to Remember_?"

"Maybe it's just the red hair, but _Eve's Christmas _is a good one too," CJ put in.

"That's the problem!" Cassie sighed dramatically, flopping back against the cushions. "They're all good. How do we choose?"

The moms compared notes. "Ryan likes it to be a surprise. I hold both options behind my back and have him pick a hand."

"Alec and McKenna often argue their sides to death until Mark and I step in and pick one ourselves."

"Where are the children tonight?" Ziva asked. "I thought maybe they would join us."

"Not a chance," Cassie laughed. "We're not nearly as much fun as Grampa. I don't know what they'd do if we tried to change their Friday night routine." But with her dad's wedding fast approaching, she and Mark were about to find out.

"And Ryan?" Ziva directed the question at his mother. "Is he with his grandparents as well?"

"Actually," CJ played with her ponytail, "the amigos are all together tonight. I've been able to get to know Matthew a little bit over the last few months when Cassie's invited us to dinner and Brent has nothing but good things to say about the man from all the years he's known him. So I figured I could trust Matthew with our son. He's always been so good with Alec and McKenna. They rave about their weekends together."

Contentment spread through Ziva. "I love the little ways we are becoming more a family."

The women all took a moment to reflect on her statement, then Allie got their attention again. "Look, the guys' movie is three hours long. That gives us time to watch at least two of ours. What about a simple process of elimination?"

"How would that work?" Emma asked.

"We each pick the movie we want to watch, narrowing the selection from that stack to a more manageable number of five. Then we all we have to do is figure out which three we want to watch the least and voila! Mission accomplished."

It seemed like a reasonable plan so they got down to business and from their five favourite choices only _The Last Holiday _and _While You Were Sleeping _made the cut.

"Now that the decision has been made, it's time for something even more important," Cassie announced, grabbing a basket from the floor and putting it where they all could reach. "Choose your favourite snacks ladies, we went all out for this."

She wasn't kidding. There was at least seven different kinds of candy, coincidentally ones that matched her friends' tastes. Ziva took gummy bears, CJ licorice, Allie candy cane chocolate squares, Emma black licorice goodies, and Cassie happily claimed the sour gummy worms. When they were all comfortably situated with their mugs of hot chocolate that Mark has so kindly delivered, she reached for the remote and pressed play. "Ladies, welcome to a new Christmas tradition," she said softly. It was one they all looked forward to sharing in the years to come.

**NCIS**

**Saturday December 18**

"It's going to be different this year," Adrian commented the next night at their early group dinner, swirling his spoon through the ice cream he'd begged off Cassie when she was making sundaes for the kids. The others stuck with more grown up fare of pie, shortbread, and cheesecake courtesy of Darien.

"Yeah," Darien agreed. "First time since starting these traditions that we're all taking off for the holidays."

Jordan pointed a fork at him. "Admit it, you're just looking forward to escaping the DC cold."

He shrugged. "Born a Southern man and it's always in your blood."

"Washington State will likely be just as frosty as here," Allie commented. "At least Brent and CJ will be somewhere warm."

"Ryan's going to teach Dad to surf," CJ said with a smile, bumping her husband's shoulder.

"I can't be any worse at it than you," he teased, kissing away her embarrassment.

"What about our DiNozzo couple?" Mark aimed a raised eyebrow at Tony. "Still keeping to your super secret plans?" All they'd told the group was that they made plans to go away for Christmas but wouldn't give any details.

Tony folded his fingers between Ziva's and kissed the back of her hand. "I don't want to jinx it by saying anything out loud. You know there's almost always a crisis at Christmas."

"Hmm." Mark didn't sound convinced but let it go for now.

"How about you Zip?" Tony asked. "Did things work out with your brother's schedule?"

"Yup," Adrian grinned. "We're heading down there just after Christmas and not back until the twenty-sixth of January. Luckily for us the school terms are different there than here, the kids are off during our entire visit." He was very much looking forward to spending quality time with his niece and nephew. Who knew when they'd get another chance at this?

"Wow, that'll be quite the trip." Cassie looked a tiny bit envious. "You better bring back tons of pictures so I can see how beautiful it is. _Lord of the Rings_ in real life."

Emma laughed. "That won't be a problem Cassie, half our luggage is his equipment."

Adrian turned to her, a hurt expression on his face. "We won't be able to go very often Em and it's hard for them to come here with the kids. I don't want to miss anything."

She laid her fingers over his lips. "It wasn't an insult." Kissing him to make it better, Emma gave the other girls a look that clearly said 'husbands' and they shared a private giggle.

"Anything out of the ordinary happening for the Reece clan?" Brent inquired.

Mark met his wife's eyes before speaking. "We'll spend the afternoon with Matthew and Claire, probably do dinner."

An awkward silence gripped the group, who by now had all heard about Cassie's dilemma. Things never stayed secret for long and the gang grapevine was alive and well. Mark had talked to Tony who filled Ziva in, Jordan and Allie spread the word to Brent and Adrian and their wives. And Darien heard the news in a roundabout way from McKenna, who had mentioned that Mommy yelled because Grampa was getting married. Yelling was very out of character for Cassie, so he'd brought her lemon tarts as well as cheesecake in hopes of making her smile.

Cassie glanced around at all of them and Allie put a hand on her arm. "Cass?"

She glanced towards the children, now in the livingroom playing an Aladdin game. She sighed. "Baby steps, right? I'm trying not to dislike the woman simply because of what she is to Dad now. I didn't have any feelings for her one way or the other when I thought they were just casual friends." Though it had rankled her originally to know her dad had female friends.

"We'll keep you in our prayers," Brent volunteered.

Cassie smiled fondly. "I'd appreciate that, thank you." She shook her head at herself. "Praying for an attitude adjustment probably wouldn't hurt either."

They chuckled a bit, having often heard that phrase directed at her children. At least she could find a little bit of humour in the situation. Ziva licked a bite of cheesecake off her fork and changed the subject. "This dessert is divine Darien. How did you learn to do it so well?" To her surprise the guys burst out laughing. "What?"

Tony kissed the side of her head. "You stepped into frat brother territory, that's all honey."

She looked at him expectantly. "Is there a story here?"

Darien leaned back and folded his hands behind his head. "You should've heard the ribbing I got Ziva the first time I put on an apron and baked at The Pad. But it was a one-eighty difference and immediate respect once they actually sampled my creations. As payback they had to do some pretty hefty favours before I'd consent to taking requests and then they all complained about having to hit the gym more often because my baking was almost as good as their moms." He smiled at the memories. "I think cinnamon buns were the favourite, or butter tarts. I did a lot of experimenting over those years and desserts make cheap presents when you have student loans. Now I just do it to relax and cater to all the sweet tooths in this group."

"Well, we definitely appreciate your efforts," Ziva commented. "There are few things more attractive than a man who's good in the kitchen."

"Is that so?" Tony leaned close and whispered something in her ear, then for the rest. "She's definitely talking about me."

"Ha!" Adrian scoffed. "We've seen you cook D. We know your wife carries the load in the culinary department."

He stole a kiss and shrugged. "I guess that just means I've got fifty years to learn from the best."

Her fingers played over the soft hair on his neck. "He is always after cake points," she shared with them, startled at the laughter they all tried to hide.

Tony couldn't help himself and claimed her lips again. "They're called brownie points Zi. But I'll take any kind of extra points from you."

"Aaanndd moving on," Brent interrupted. "Save the mushy couple stuff for behind closed doors, will you?"

CJ turned a questioning gaze on him, so he whispered that he was looking forward to mushy couple stuff with her later, which garnered a smile.

After clearing the table they brought their hot drinks and joined the kids in the livingroom, where _Arthur Christmas _had already been decided on. The couples all found their favourite spots while Darien got comfortable with the amigos and pets on beanbag chairs on the floor and settled in for the lighthearted fare. Partway through Cassie's eyes left the screen and she did her usual covert spying thing to check in on the others. What she saw warmed her heart and she whispered to her husband, "I don't know if Zippy fits Adrian anymore." His brow furrowed and she inclined her head in their direction, cuddled together on one side of the couch. "Having Emma has finally taught him to be still."

Mark hugged her close. "The things a man does for the woman he loves." And Cassie knew she was so incredibly blessed to be the one her husband had chosen to love.


	25. 8x10 False Witness 2

**Sunday December 19**

When Tony woke up Ziva was still dreaming, curled up around her pillow and murmuring his name. The fact that it sounded low and breathy the way she said it during their intimate times together intrigued him. Grinning, he began gently kissing and caressing her into consciousness, wanting to join the fun. Moments later Ziva opened her eyes and saw him watching, causing her to immediately bury her face in her pillow in an attempt to hide the blush staining her cheeks. Tony's eyebrows rose. Now he was really interested in knowing the details.

"What could you possibly dream about that involves us and is enough to make you blush?" It was hard to get her to do that, he always loved when he could draw that kind of reaction from his wife.

Ziva wouldn't answer right away but he coaxed an explanation out of her, all the while trying to warm her up for what he hoped to do before the alarm went off. "We were making love on a beach," she whispered, eyes downcast.

Compelling, but not really risque. Unless... "Did we get caught?"

She shook her head. "No, but I heard voices and knew we could. You made sure we were covered and I felt so protected, but then ladies were giggling and it was incredibly embarrassing that others stumbled on us in such an vulnerable position."

Tony kissed her with only a hint of heat behind the action. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "It is if we were arrested for public indecency." Her indignance melted away under his touch, warm hands dragging her into his body as his mouth sought hers with a fervency that set her heart racing.

He broke away and nuzzled her neck, speaking softly against her skin. "Is that something you'd be interested in doing, sometime?"

"What? Getting arrested? Not particularly."

"Minx," he growled, arresting her gaze with his intense green eyes. "I meant the other part."

Ziva's eyebrows rose sharply. "You did not just Gemcity me."

Tony choked on a laugh. "Since when is that a thing?"

She poked a finger into his ribs. "Since you brought up a Deep Six scene."

"Well," he drawled, "it made for some very enticing imagery."

"I do not want to know if he was actually thinking about us that way," Ziva's nose wrinkled.

"Come on," Tony whispered, claiming her lips. "Haven't you ever thought of it? You, me, and the-"

"Crystal white sands of my homeland?" she finished with a touch of sarcasm. She scraped her nails lightly down his chest. "First of all, sand gets into places I would not even want to imagine. Secondly," she caught his bottom lip between hers and felt the moan that vibrated through him. Which, of course, was the reason she didn't have the breath to finish her sentence for several moments. "Secondly," she listed, panting, concentration become harder to hold onto, "I am...open to the idea. As long as we are protected against sand and any audience that might wander by."

He pulled back in surprise. "Really?"

A sly smile tugged at her lips. "Did you forget that I am Mossad Tony? We do not turn down opportunities for adventure."

"You're NCIS," he retorted heatedly. "But I'll let you away with former assassin. So, a secluded beach rendevous, hmm?" His mouth came down on hers. "I could get into that."

She cupped his face. "I'm sure. It would be very...Bond, yes?"

"Oh babe," he grinned, "you know exactly how to light my fire."

Ziva chuckled. "Ahava, it is never not lit."

Tony dug his fingers into her hair and laid a searing claim on her mouth. "Good point," he murmured. "And now for an activity that does not require any more talking."

Her lips grazed his ear. "Unless I am telling you how good you are," she murmured. After which her husband made his intentions very clear and they enjoyed a playful half hour before the alarm buzzed and it was time to get ready for work. Tony was always so grateful for the safe haven of their love. In their home, in their room, in their bed nothing else of the world could intrude and that was something he was determined not to take for granted.

**NCIS**

**Monday December 20**

Adrian spun his coffee cup around, decaf since none of the gang would let him drink regular coffee citing his already above average level of energy, and folded his fingers through Emma's under the table. "So..." he began, looking at the couple across the table, some of his best friends in the whole world, "we were wondering-" His peripheral vision caught the expression his wife aimed at him and he bit back a smirk. "Okay, I was wondering why you guys dated so long before getting married? I mean, I barely made it months before I couldn't deal with not having Emma in my life every hour of the day, but you guys waited five years. Why?"

Jordan met his wife's eyes but saw nothing that made him hesitate. They didn't have any secrets from their friends and to be honest, he had expected the topic to come up a lot sooner than their first anniversary. "You were still in California when Allie and I met, so maybe you don't know that part of the story." He kissed her fingers. "Cassie introduced us but Allie barely even gave me the time of day. It took me a almost a whole year to convince her that I was worth getting to know so she'd agree on a date. And even then I was lucky if she said yes a couple times per month. That first year of our relationship hardly even counts because of the infrequency."

"That gets us down to four years," Adrian interjected. "Is there a reason for the rest?"

"I suppose part of that is my fault," Allie took over the story. "When we first met I didn't want a relationship and even after a year of seeing him socially now and then I still had no desire to get really serious. It was..." she glanced at her husband "...at least two years of dating before we even said 'I love you'. The future seemed pretty set, we knew we'd end up together. There just wasn't any rush."

Emma leaned her cheek on one hand. "I'm curious Jordan, why you didn't ask her to marry you after three or four years. Why was five the magic number?"

He jiggled his knee. "We were both busy with work, volunteering at church, family and friends. We spent a lot of time focusing on saving money so we could start our life together on a stable financial foundation." He shrugged. "I don't know that I really have a good answer. By the time we got engaged we'd been part of each other's lives for so long that marriage happened almost seamlessly."

"You realize you probably could've saved more money if you were only paying for one place together instead of two separately?" Adrian pointed out.

Jordan chuckled. "What is it they say about hindsight?"

"And uh..." he searched for a polite way to phrase it but came up empty. "Wow, this is really none of my business but I'm going to ask anyways. Didn't it eat at you wanting to be...I mean, to have-"

He was cut off when Emma elbowed him. "Adrian!"

Adrian gestured helplessly to the others. "I wasn't going to say anything awkward."

"Yes," she argued, "you were. And that is something we don't have a right to know."

Allie blushed and tucked her hand around Jordan's arm. "We get the drift Zip. And maybe that was what finally got to me. We were always rather chintzy with physical affection. Holding hands, kisses on the cheek, those were things we took time working up to. I think the first time I really kissed her was when I finally told her I loved her. Even then she was really good about setting boundaries so we never got carried away."

He gazed lovingly at his wife. "I respected her so much for those choices. But yeah, we definitely hit a point where everything got a bit more intense and it was just time to get married before we did something we couldn't take back. Granted, those five months leading up to the wedding were probably the most challenging of our entire relationship because of the intentional waiting required, but man," a grin split his face, "it was so worth it."

At this she turned bright red and whispered something not meant for their ears. Jordan put his arm around her and gave her a moment to hide in the shelter of that embrace. When she faced them again he brushed his lips over hers. "We're all married here sweetheart, there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

The look he got suggested they'd be finishing this conversation alone later. "But you know, the rest is just between us."

Allie rolled her eyes. "A little too late there dear." Her attention returned to Adrian and Emma. "So that's the story guys. No good answers unfortunately, nothing really juicy, no secrets. I'm sorry we're not more interesting."

Adrian shook his head. "I was just interested in the reason, if there was one. But knowing what it's like to be married," he shrugged, "I give you guys a lot of credit for the kind of relationship you had before. It takes a special kind of person to be so...honourable, I guess. Though it's kind of an old-fashioned word."

"I'm kind of an old-fashioned girl," Allie returned. "So I'll take that as a compliment."

"One last question," Adrian added, even though the subject was pretty much closed. He'd never had great timing. "If you had it to do over, would you choose differently a second time?"

Jordan nodded emphatically. "Yes. I would've asked her to marry me two years in rather than five, at the first point I was sure there would be a me and Allie forever."

Emma aimed her gaze at his wife. "What about you?"

"Yes," Allie answered softly. "I would've gotten serious with Jordan a whole lot sooner, now that I know what I was missing." She squeezed her husband's hand, then got up to refill drinks and turned expectantly to Emma. "Did you say you brought Dutch Blitz? Because that would be a great way to end the night."

Emma pulled the box of colourful cards from her purse and held them up triumphantly. "I agree. May the fastest person win." And amidst laughter and mild-mannered table talk, the four friends simply enjoyed the pleasure of each other's company.

**NCIS**

Tony and Ziva lay in bed after making love, his arms wrapped around her from behind, his breathing evening out in a telltale sign that sleep was soon to come, but Ziva's mind would not stop circling back to one thought. Drawing her fingers over the soft hair on his arms, she moved back into him a bit more and turned her head slightly. "Tony?"

"Mmm?"

"I'm sorry," she continued in a low voice, "I know you are almost asleep."

He cleared his throat and nuzzled her neck. "Not quite. What's up?"

Ziva shivered and Tony adjusted his hold to encompass as much of her as possible. "The last time we talked about...what we would do if one of us was left alone, I told you I would cope. But now..." She shook her head and her words became a whisper. "I do not think I could do it. I do not think I could be without you ahava, and I am scared to death that I may one day have to find out."

Tony's brow furrowed. "Honey, where is this coming from?" Neither had been through any close calls recently, nor had they had any really tough cases in the last week.

She shifted slightly, wishing he was wearing his wedding band so she could touch it. "There was a song on the radio while I was driving home and it was so sad. This woman had lost her husband but she was telling him how she makes room for him in their bed even though he is gone, and in the morning she is listening to hear him on the stairs. No one else is allowed to sit in his chair, their house had become a shrine to his memory and even though friends try to help she is not able to move on." Ziva closed her eyes. "And I cannot help but think that would be me."

He sighed into her hair, his grip on her body tightening as if she might just fade away like a mist. "I don't have anything helpful to tell you about that Zi. I know what it's like to live without you and I couldn't do it. I guess ideally we would die as partners protecting each other's backs, but that doesn't seem fair to our family and friends." He pressed his lips to the point where her shoulder joined her neck and left them there a long time.

"We can't focus on the 'what ifs' babe, because they'll drive us crazy. I still have a hard time watching you walk away and the moment you leave my sight I want to jump up and run after you to make sure it's not for good. But you keep coming back and that helps. You're here by my side nearly every night, so when I wake up thinking this whole year might've been a dream I have instant proof that it wasn't."

Ziva turned over to face him and Tony felt better already looking into her eyes. His palm cupped her cheek and he claimed her lips for a kiss that simply reassured husband and wife that they were alive and together, where they belonged. "Don't be afraid for me Ziva, as hard as that is. Just be glad I'm here now. That's a prayer I say for you every day - thank you. The Big Guy must've known how much I needed you."

Her fingers mapped his forehead, cheekbones, and jaw, so familiar that she could draw him with her eyes closed. "I think it scares me most because I have never needed anyone the way I need you. And after more than four years by your side I do not think I could be alone again."

He pressed his mouth to the tear that tried to fall and brushed back her hair. "I love you Ziva. I love you yesterday, today, and every day for the rest of whatever time we have in this life. That's what you would hold onto. Now please," he squeezed his eyes shut, "can we talk about something else?"

Ziva scraped her nails lightly down his chest. "Perhaps we should not talk at all," she suggested, letting her lips find his again. Despite the reason behind reigniting their passion, Tony grinned. They had always done their best talking when they didn't have to use words.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday December 21**

The day was less than two hours old and Ziva already felt certain something was wrong. To find Tony gone before she even opened her eyes was highly out of the ordinary. Add to that he hadn't left a note and her senses were on high alert. Then there was the way he greeted her and McGee when they walked in the bullpen - formally, in monotone, with full titles and no eye contact.

Only a couple days had passed since they'd determined to catch up on case reports, yet the few folders that had accumulated were cleared from all three desks, along with the box of cold case files Gibbs dumped in the middle of the room yesterday and barked for someone to take care of them. Her frown deepened and Ziva wondered when it was exactly that Tony left their bed and how she didn't notice. He must've been at the office for hours to get so much accomplished.

Before she could put too much effort into unraveling the mystery, though she wouldn't be surprised if it had something to do with their conversation the night before, Gibbs came in with a new case - missing petty officer who was a witness in an upcoming trial. Tony began gathering his gear before Gibbs put the order into words and his movements were mechanical, like he was somewhere else entirely. She tried to catch his eye on the way out but his gaze remained firmly fixed on Gibbs' back and when he slid in the front seat with their boss all opportunity for a private conversation was lost.

At the victim's house a red-haired woman, Deputy DA Gail Walsh, was waiting for them and briefed the team on her missing witness. Once the particulars were out of the way she watched them work, making no secret out of appraising and appreciating Tony, something that set Ziva's teeth on edge. When Gail followed her into the bedroom and began a very unsubtle line of questioning, it was all she could do to appear unaffected.

"Agent Gibbs seems like a capable investigator," Gail commented as Ziva opened the closet.

She held onto a brief hope that perhaps the lady was interested in him instead. "There is none better."

"And, um, Agent DiNozzo?"

Ziva took her time studying the contents. "He is also very good at his job." As much as she wanted to downplay his attributes and make him seem less desirable Tony deserved more respect than that, even if he wasn't around to hear.

"Is he...single?" Gail ventured.

She turned around and found the woman examining her nails. "Excuse me?" That was a totally inappropriate question at a crime scene.

Gail shrugged. "I just...noticed he wasn't wearing a ring."

The muscles in Ziva's jaw tightened minutely. _That's because it is at home in our bedroom_. Only the weight of what they were protecting kept her from blurting out something she might regret.

Becoming aware that she'd hit a nerve, the DA backtracked. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry. Are you and he...?"

Ziva cleared her throat and forced the words to come. "Our relationship is professional. He is my partner." She suddenly couldn't wait for the day when she no longer had to pretend, no more cover stories or excuses, the day that would allow her to claim her husband and act possessive anytime a woman looked at him with interest. But that day was not today. And there was the more pressing need of figuring out why he was acting so strange. To her recollection Tony had been fine when they went to bed and how something could've changed between then and early this morning remained a puzzle.

"Hmm." Gail didn't seem to totally buy the half-truth but in the next moment that clearly didn't matter. "Then you wouldn't mind if I, uh..." She didn't finish but her meaning was clear.

Ziva had a hard time maintaining her composure. "We are in the middle of an investigation," she pointed out stiffly, "and you a trial."

"I know. I just like to keep my options open." Her smile and cheerfulness was getting on Ziva's nerves. "Did you know the majority of people meet their spouses at work?"

"Is that so?" Ziva wondered if that was the first time she and Tony fit a normal pattern of anything.

The annoying lady followed her back into the kitchen where McGee was starting to notice that something was very off about his teammate. With his usual impeccable timing Gibbs showed up as well. "We're gonna need to look at your case files."

Gail was only too happy to help out. "Oh, of course." She looked pointedly at Tony. "Um, Agent DiNozzo, did you want to accompany me back to my office? The files are heavy and I need someone with strong arms."

Tony's expression was almost scared before he carefully schooled it and turned his gaze on Tim. "You know, I think I'm just going to stay here. I'm sure Agent McGee can help you."

The DA hadn't expected to be turned down, that much was obvious though she covered well, and Ziva couldn't help a rather smug smile. _My husband_, she thought possessively. _Keep your claws off him._

**NCIS**

Throughout the briefing Tony remained strictly professional, going so far as to look at McGee and Ziva like he thought they were the ones acting strangely when they attempted to bait him with movie references. It was true that he was showing them up, having all the ideas while his teammates just stared in shock, and so out of character for their senior field agent that they didn't know what to think.

Tony didn't seem phased when Gibbs handed out one of his rare praises of "Good job" twice in the same day, nor when the team leader asked if he was feeling okay. A quick lie with a nod to Rule 7 sufficed and Tony knew his boss well enough to realize he'd mind his own business unless his agent's behaviour interfered with the case, something he didn't intend to let happen no matter how many knots were growing inside him.

It was a relief to Ziva to be sent out of the building. If she couldn't be alone with her husband to discern what was going on, then at least she could be out doing something marginally useful. Joining Gibbs on the search for their missing petty officer in familiar woods, however, quickly lost its appeal. A hunter walked by carrying his prize and she threw up her hands. "Oh! If I never see another dead turkey again it will be too soon."

"Well, you're probably gonna see one Christmas Day," Gibbs informed her as they walked,

"Not this year," came her quick response. "I am going away for the holidays."

"Really?" The skepticism in his tone should've bothered her but didn't. She knew to whom she was important. "With who?"

Ziva smiled brightly. "With uh...a very good friend."

Instead of prying as she feared, Gibbs simply said, "Uh huh," then got the attention of a man wearing a red vest over his camouflage attire.

Two no's and one Ziva rant later they spied their man, though he was apprehended by the previously uninterested parties who ignored their question, saving them the legwork of catching him. He had answers to everything they would've asked but when he fingered the DA as being part of a nefarious plot, Gibbs took him seriously while Ziva remained wary of what could easily be a misdirection. His accusation was founded, however, by her discovery that Gail was the only one who knew Jerry's location and case took another turn.

**NCIS**

Tony didn't come home with her after work. Remaining lost in his head he stayed at NCIS and wore himself out with a two hour workout, but still the nagging questions remained. When he walked in the door Ziva looked up from brushing Meira. They stared at each other for a moment and her shoulders sagged slightly at his silence. "Are you hungry? I made carbonara."

The word took him back to his childhood and long hours spent in Nonna's kitchen while she slaved over old family recipes, determined to keep the old country alive even in a new one. Carbonara was one of his favourite dishes. He shouldn't've been surprised that Ziva remembered, though he'd probably only mentioned it once. Tony wished he was in the mood, clearly she'd prepared it specially for him.

Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm wiped. Think I'll just shower and go to bed." He hesitated, wanting to offer more, but everything in his head was just too loud. "Night."

Ziva's brow furrowed as he walked to the bathroom and closed the door. She wrapped her arms around Meira. "I want to know what is wrong motek. Why is he hiding from me? I thought we were past that." Meira licked her cheek and Ziva kissed the dog's muzzle. "We will go for a walk and give him some space, yes?" Her gaze drifted to the bathroom. "But if he is still like this tomorrow we are going to talk. If I must share my struggles, he has to as well."

Tony didn't want to admit feeling relief when he finished his shower and found the house empty. His wife would never know how long he stood by the spare room and considered spending tonight on the futon. But his distance was hurting her enough, he couldn't bring himself to make it worse. Instead he settled on his side of their bed and closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep before Ziva got back. He didn't yet have the words to explain and until he figured that out he'd need to leave her in the dark.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday December 22**

Waking up to an empty bed for the second day in a row left Ziva not only lonely but deeply concerned. She rushed getting ready so she could see Tony at work, but eye contact was minimal and she'd rarely seen him so studious. The opportunities to talk to him lessened when she and McGee were sent out to track down a lead, the first time they had the freedom to discuss their observations since the case began.

"The joke's getting kind of old, isn't it?" Tim asked as they got out of the car.

Ziva didn't share his point of view. "I do not think it is a joke."

McGee wasn't convinced. "Look, Tony's a great investigator, don't get me wrong. But the closest he liked coming to filling out paperwork is renewing his Maxim subscription."

It had been more than five years since the last time her husband renewed his subscription to the men's magazine. Sharing that detail, however, would do nothing for the secret they were still trying to keep. So she acted as if her Tony was still that same overgrown frat boy who'd goaded her during those first several months on the team. "I know. Which is why I'm growing so concerned."

McGee turned to her. "You know what? Actually, I am too. He gave me half his french fries at lunch."

Ziva leaned in, affecting a worried expression. "One of us has to confront him."

"And tell him what? Why aren't you acting like a fourteen year old anymore?"

He had a point. "I may have gone younger, but yes."

Their conversation was interrupted by the one man they were looking for and soon Smitty was warming a plastic chair inside Interrogation 1.

For a reason Ziva couldn't determine, she became next on the list of people Jerry was apparently harassing. He followed her from Autopsy to the fifth floor and try as she might, she couldn't shake him. As they walked around the corner he continued his argument, begun in the elevator. "But you and Tony are-"

"Enough!" She cut him off in exasperation. "We are just friends. There is nothing different about him."

Thankfully Gibbs snagged her pest and Ziva made it safely to her desk, but little had changed in regards to her husband's demeanor. He was blocking her out and she determined to discover why, although after he overheard the end of her conversation with Jerry a wall seemed to rise between them and they were not alone until Observation, when they watched Gibbs' interrogation of the DA lady. Quickly growing frustrated with her ranting, Ziva turned the sound off and put her back to the window, facing him.

"Are you going to tell me what is going on?" He stared through the mirror and she stepped forward, laying her hand on his chest. "Please Tony."

Tony felt the heat from her skin seep through his shirt and his jaw clenched. He aimed a dark glare at the technician in the corner. "Out!" he snapped, not caring that the man was in the middle of a recording. Once an interrogation began the soundboard didn't have to be babysat the entire time. Familiar with the way David and DiNozzo often used the room as their own private office, he rose slowly and headed out, pulling the door closed behind him.

Ziva looked slightly amused and he sighed. "I'm getting really sick of the act, of hearing you say we're just partners or friends, nothing more." A hardness glittered in his shadowed green eyes. "I'm tired of looking at any woman but you. Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to pretend to be the old me? Every day I have to force the smile and cavalier attitude, make myself notice pretty girls and brag about imaginary conquests."

Strong fingers wrapped around her arms. "I want this to be done Ziva, please. When can the charade be over so I can tell the whole world that I'm in love with you? So I can kiss you without having to hide, touch you and not need to think about how it looks first, talk to you about our life and things we do together without it being undercover of something else." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm so tired Zi."

"I know." She stood on tiptoe and brushed her mouth over his. Tony couldn't help but follow her lead and cupped her cheek in one hand, the other cradling the back of her neck as their lips moved together, giving in more than they usually dared to at work. When she pulled away with a gentle peck, Ziva slid her arms around his waist for a hug. Leaning back, she stared into his eyes. "I wish it could be today. I want to wear my rings to work, remember what we have done, and allude to times and things between us that will make McGee blush."

Her fingertips grazed his cheek. "I want to claim you as my husband in front of every woman who dares look at you like they want a chance, and let the others see what we have created together and the ways our love has changed us. But Tony," Ziva whispered, "the consequences are so steep. What if we tell and Gibbs splits us up? Then we still cannot have what we hope for." She looked to the side. "I am not even sure I would want to stay at NCIS if I could not be your partner and watch your back."

Tony's throat clogged with the thought of not seeing her all day every day, not knowing they shared a common goal, not being where he could keep her safe. And after how hard she'd worked to get back to them, to get better so she could stay, he couldn't take that away from her. His shoulders slumped and he rubbed his forehead. "There's no right answer, is there?"

Ziva rested her cheek on his chest. "I wish I knew."

A flash of movement in Interrogation caught his eye and he barely had time to let go of Ziva and switch the sound back on before Gibbs threw the door open. "Whatcha waiting for?"

Their tender moment together well and truly over, Tony soon found himself waiting with McGee outside the courthouse for the hearing to be over. He was saved the probie's intervention when the others joined them. In the end, with help, they were able to keep a young man from ruining his life, and as he was led away all Tony could think was how very pretty his wife looked with snowflakes falling softly on her hair. But he'd never be able to tell her that out loud on work time and the thought only served to depress him more. The break he was hoping for might not ever come.

**NCIS**

Abby had debated all day about whether to bring it up at their movie night or not and finally she couldn't hold the information in any longer. "So," she began, casually reaching for the salad dressing, "Jerry had some, um, interesting observations to make after you left."

Tim glanced up warily, sucking a thin noodle into his mouth. This was the same guy who got Ziva's dander up, wasn't afraid of Gibbs, and made Jimmy cry. He wasn't sure he wanted to know and went with an innocuous, "Oh?"

She cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah. He...said you weren't comfortable leaving him alone with me."

McGee relaxed slightly. "Well, it's not like we haven't had some serious problems with other people in the lab before. I'm just looking out for your wellbeing Abbs."

"Uh huh." Abby nodded casually. "And does that include checking me out when I'm not looking?"

He choked on a crouton, coughing and frantically swallowing water in an effort to clear his airway. "What?!

She shrugged. "That's what he said, Jerry I mean." A pause hovered between them. "Is it true?"

Tim rubbed his face, not at all wanting to get into this now. "It's no secret I find you attractive Abby, I always have." He fiddled with his fork. "Can't you just take it as a compliment?"

"I never said it wasn't," Abby began softly. "Sometimes I just wonder what we're doing."

"Right now? Having dinner. Then watching a movie. Let's not make any more out of it than that," McGee brushed off the whole conversation, unwilling to get his heart too involved yet.

Reluctantly and quite out of character, Abby let it go, in the back of her mind thinking about what else Jerry said._ "I can see why you probably want to keep things casual...What if he was the one? You're obviously married to your work. It's too soon to meet the one.." _What if he was the one indeed? That was a question someday she hoped to have the answer to.

**NCIS**

Tony remained subdued even after they were home and Ziva wanted more than anything to lift the burden he carried. When he slumped in a kitchen chair looking like the weight of the world was pressing down on him she approached slowly and ran her fingers through his hair, then kissed his neck. "Why don't you go choose a movie tesoro? I will find something for supper."

He leaned into her touch. "Sure."

Making his way to the DVD shelves, Tony sighed and began the laborious process of finding the right film to match his hopeless mood. Ziva took the container of carbonara that had been a labour of love from the fridge and spooned it into two dishes, adding extra sauce and cheese before reheating. Tony's portion even received the last of the crumbled bacon pieces as a special treat. She found half a loaf of garlic bread in the freezer and stuck it under the broiler, then poured them both tall glasses of juice, figuring alcohol wouldn't help anything when he was already feeling depressed.

Everything was ready in relative short order and she brought it over, acutely concerned when Tony turned around with tears in his eyes. Immediately she was by his side. "What is it?"

He sniffed and showed her the movie case in his hands, the one in which she'd hidden a love letter for him to find. "When did you write this?"

Ziva rubbed a hand down his back. "A couple weeks ago. I hoped you would find it at a time you needed to hear those reassurances."

Tony put down the movie and clutched her in a fierce embrace. "I love you so much Ziva," he choked out. "Thank you."

She set her palm over his heart. "I love you too," she whispered. "It is my turn to show that."

The time that passed before Tony could bring himself to release her was enough to cause Ziva worry about cold food, but that worry was unfounded and they settled on the couch, digging into the delicious meal. Though he didn't say it out loud, Tony appreciated so much how she took care of him this way, with favourite things and silent support and a tenderness that made his heart ache.

After food was gone and plates left to soak in the sink Tony sank back onto the couch, emotional exhaustion making it hard to move. Ziva returned from changing into her cozy cashmere pyjamas with their ring boxes and let him slide hers on before doing the same and pushing him gently to go put on something comfortable. When Tony came back his body felt so heavy that he lay down, nestling his head in Ziva's lap. For the rest of the movie her graceful fingers combed softly through his hair and danced across his skin, the caress punctuated by a light touch of her lips now and then on his forehead or cheek or occasionally the corner of his mouth. He soaked the affection up like a sponge, drawing his strength from the outpouring of her love.

Knowing now was the time for her to offer comfort the way he so often had for her, after the credits finished scrolling by she started to change positions. Tony made a sound of protest. "Please don't move Zi. I need you here."

Ziva brushed her mouth over his. "I am not going anywhere amore mio." She maneuvered herself to stretch out behind her husband and wrapped him in a warm embrace, pressing her lips to his neck. "I know you may not feel as protected as I do when you hold me, but I will always have your back Tony. I want my arms to be your safe place too."

He put his hand over hers and sighed. "Your heart is my safe place babe. It has been since you said yes." Even taking into account the times they had cracked - Jeanne, Roy, Dana - or broken completely - Israel, Somalia, Daniel - those moments and months of uncertainty and instability seemed fleeing in comparison with the firm foundation they'd build for their marriage around love and perseverance and surviving everything life had thrown at them so far.

"I hope it is always so," she murmured. "Beshert is a once in forever gift."

Tony already knew the unshakable truth, that he was never letting go because Ziva was everything to him, but it was really nice to know he was the same for her. They fell asleep that night pressed altogether, her heart beating against his back and his under her palm. As in so many other situations, this was just another way to be one.

**NCIS**

**Thursday December 23**

Tony glanced sideways at his wife and smiled as they walked into work the back way holding hands. Ziva had weighed the risk and chose to ignore it in favour of the contact and lifeline her husband needed. "I'm glad you got a new winter coat. I like this one, makes you look cozy."

Her lips tipped up slightly. "I am. It is many times warmer than the last one."

He kissed her cheek just before they slipped through the doors. "Don't worry about me today, okay?"

Ziva's brow furrowed at the unexpected comment but it soon made sense as he was back to the same unanimated shadow of yesterday. Soon after he arrived McGee sidled up to her and shook his head. "Looks like you're gonna have to talk to him again."

She studied his demeanor and frowned. "Mmhmm."

Moments later it came to the former assassin that she should've noticed something was off by the way Tony's posture suddenly changed, then streamers shot off with bangs around the room, desk lights and colourful bands on all the partitions began blinking red and green, and Ziva pulled her gun before she could determine there was no threat. As much as she wanted to smack him for scaring her half to death, the embarrassment of her reaction was worth seeing her partner finally smile. She wondered how early he'd left the house to get all of this set up and found it hard to believe she hadn't noticed his absence. But his timing had been impeccable, back by her side when the alarm went off. Ziva began to think he was picking up her stealth skills by osmosis.

Still, appearances had to be kept up. "You-" she managed in a slightly accusing tone and his expression dropped.

He cleared his throat, rightfully looking concerned. "Too much?"

But instead of threatening to maim him she could only shake her head and smile. It was good to have him back.

Several hours later, just before the end of the workday, Director Vance strolled into the bullpen. Gibbs spared him a brief acknowledgment. "Director."

He smiled rather magnanimously. "Pack your stuff up and get out of here. Go enjoy the holidays. I don't want to see any of you until the second of January, got that?" Vance pointed at the team leader. "Gibbs?"

"I heard."

The team exchanged glances and Gibbs shot a glare around the desks. "You heard the man. Scram."

Vance nodded as if his work here was done and headed home to spend some well deserved time with his family.

Since it was absolutely unheard of for the MCRT to get time off for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, they took it as a rare miracle that they weren't even on call this time and hightailed it out of there before two minutes were up, calling "Merry Christmas" to each other on the way by. This year everyone had plans and Abby had been up earlier to see what all the fuss was about and fill them in on what the others were doing to celebrate the festivities.

Jimmy was taking Breena home to meet his family, then the couple were coming back to do a dinner with Ducky and Dr. Jordan at some point during their time off. She had high hopes that Gibbs would go see his dad for part of the holiday since they'd reconciled after the events of the previous summer, not that he'd ever volunteer that information if it happened. The goth princess herself was volunteering at a soup kitchen for the Christmas Eve meal, something McGee immediately volunteered to join her in, before traveling to spend time with her brother, sister-in-law, and little niece, At Abby's questioning look Tim explained that Sarah was spending a few days at his apartment and he enjoyed the time with his sister but it wouldn't bother her if he was gone for a couple hours. Plus, it was all for a good cause. The promise of his company had her glee spilling over and she threw herself at him in one of the hugs she was famous for.

Once that was taken care of she did her best to glean some information from the partners about what they had in mind for the holidays. Ziva was able to brush her off with a line about Christmas not being her holiday and having a really good book and hot chocolate waiting for her. Tony mumbled something involving his frat brothers and a whole shelf full of the best Christmas cinema offerings ever and though she seemed disappointed, Abby left it at that, for which they were both relieved.

Once in the elevator Tony grabbed Ziva's arms. "Is this actually happening?"

She nodded, a bewildered expression on her face. "If you heard the same thing I did."

"So...those plans we made?" Though they had booked their trip, neither allowed themselves to actually believe they'd get to take that chance.

A brilliant smile spread across Ziva's lips. "Ahava, we actually get to go away together!"

Tony scooped her up in an exuberant hug and then proceeded to kiss her breathless. "This is going to be the most amazing vacation ever!"

She savoured the softness of his lips once more. "I get to be alone with you yakiri. That fact itself already makes your prediction so."

Never able to resist his wife when she looked at him like that, he possessed her lips again, drinking in her love and excitement. All of a sudden Ziva pulled back. "We have not packed anything, or made arrangements for Meira."

Tony chuckled and tugged on her ponytail. "Minor details Ms. David. All that matters is we're going."

She rolled her eyes and pushed him back a few inches. "Yes, but it will be slightly less enjoyable without clean, weather appropriate clothes. And it's Mrs. DiNozzo to you."

His thousand watt grin was almost blindingly bright. "Very well, Mrs. DiNozzo." He leaned in, his mouth brushing her ear and sending a shiver down her spine. "But I wasn't really planning on much need for clothes."

Ziva breathed in his scent and smirked when he returned to his spot. "I think you will appreciate them when you see the swimwear I purchased."

Tony's eyes lit up. "A new bikini?" he asked hopefully. "Then by all means, let's go home!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the car as soon as the elevator reached ground level.

Twenty minutes later Tony was on the phone with Mark to confirm his friends' ability to have Meira in addition to Cody while they were away. Mark and Cassie were both thrilled that Tony and Ziva didn't have to work and agreed right away. Cassie's condition, however, was to hear all about their secret getaway as soon as they were back in DC. He promised to tell her the G-rated parts and hung up to the soft laughter of the longer married couple who knew exactly what that meant.

For awhile he helped Ziva pack their suitcases and carry-ons, then she went to clean the fridge of perishable items so they wouldn't come home to a mess. Tony did a quick check of all the rooms to see what needed to be left unplugged while they were away and confirm that doors and windows were locked up tight. He nudged his wife out of the kitchen and whipped them up a simple meal of grilled cheese/egg on toast to use up the last of the things that might spoil. Flight reservations and other details were confirmed online to keep the process simple when they arrived at the airport.

While she was brushing her teeth Tony called her to the office and tugged her into his lap as soon as she joined him. "I don't know if you will remember this honey, but last year I told you there was a Christmas song you needed to hear." He pressed play on 'I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas' and chuckled at her incredulity over the lyrics. When it was over she shook her head.

"I do not know if I will ever understand American classics."

He kissed her shoulder. "As long as you've heard it once, that's good enough."

Ziva cupped his face, lowering her mouth to his. "I think there is just one thing we should do before bed."

Tony closed his eyes. "Yeah?" As much as bed at seven-thirty was not what they were used to, they'd be thankful for the extra sleep when it came time for their five am flight.

She smiled against his lips. "Have a shower."

His nose brushed hers. "Excellent plan. I like the way you think."

Ziva's thumb smoothed over his eyelashes and their gazes met. "I am so thankful for us Tony. And I am sure that this new year will be everything the last two have not. We are getting a fresh start, I can feel it."

"I won't argue with you there," he managed in a husky voice. "I'm just looking forward to another three hundred and sixty-five days with the love of my life."

She got up and took his hand, walking backwards as she led him to the bathroom. Christmas Day hadn't come yet, but the adoration in his wife's eyes would always be Tony's best present. There was no greater gift than that of being loved.

_Replies:_

_Debbie (MIT23) - I love the ninja-Ziva moments just as much as everybody else, I keep telling people I want to be Ziva when I grow up, just without the assassin stuff, lol :P Nettie's advice about the letter and Tony's choice to listen will be a good thing, but it won't come up again for awhile. Z's not ready for that yet. Forgiveness is one of those things that sounds so easy but can be so difficult to do, especially if the hurt has been deep. And I don't know that forgiving people means you let them keep hurting you, but at least it means peace knowing you did what you could. Thanks for reviewing, sorry this reply is late! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest (MIT1) - I'm glad you think so. I agree the aftermath of Somalia was glossed over far too much, hence the reason that Remnants of Somalia was born. I really didn't expect to get into it as much in this series, but my stories consistently surprise me by the turns they take. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	26. 8x12 Recruited 1

_A/N: Because I'm already two weeks late posting (for which I apologize), I won't make you wait any longer for an update. Unfortunately Tony and Ziva's Christmas vacation is taking much longer and proving to be more complicated than I'd originally anticipated. The good news is you're going to get a fair amount of detail about their trip, the downside is I may not be able to post once a week but just whenever I get another part of it finished. I'm anticipating three or four parts to this particular section, and though it is titled after an episode there won't be any actual episode content until the last part. Thanks for your patience guys, I'm glad people are still sticking around to see how this turns out. Lots more to come! ~ Love, Aliyah :)_

_PS. I've done a lot of research about their destination, but I couldn't always find everything I was looking for so some of it will still be creative license. If anyone has been there before, please forgive any inconsistencies. Thank you._

**Friday December 24** \- Day 1

Ziva sometimes felt she was losing her ability to sleep well when she knew there wasn't much time before the alarm went off when she found herself wide awake at one-thirty that morning with one and a half hours of rest remaining. Instead of laying there and trying to force herself back into slumber, she slipped very carefully out of bed and retrieved from her side of the closet the new bunny Ryan had passed to her at the group dinner last week while Meira and Cody were playing elsewhere.

Though she and Tony had tried to research a way to get their dog to accept a substitution for her beloved toy there was very little information available on the subject so they came up with their own idea. Knowing that Ziva was pretty much always Meira's first choice, Tony suggested she sleep with the replacement stuffed animal so it carried her scent (when Ziva reminded him of his rule about cuddling with something other than him, he conceded to making an exception but only this once), and they also left it laying on Meira's bed during the day with the bedroom door closed so she couldn't see, hoping it would also absorb the dog's scent and not seem like a foreign object when the two toys were switched.

Since Meira was sleeping out by the inside garage door tonight Ziva crept softly to where she lay, calling on all her former stealth skills to keep from making even the minutest of sounds that might catch her pet's attention. Crouching by the sleeping animal she eased the old bunny away from Meira's paws a little at a time and set the new one in place, holding her breath the whole time lest Meira wake up. But their dog didn't even stir and Ziva released a sigh of relief once she was safely back in the bedroom. So far, so good but the real test to see if their plan had worked would come when Meira awoke.

For now the old bunny was stashed in a ziploc bag in one of Ziva's dresser drawers, but before they left it would get moved to the large garbage can in the garage, which Cassie volunteered Mark to put out on collection day so they didn't come home to a smelly space. The entire operation took only ten minutes and Ziva debated about staying up but knew it would be a busy day and opted to return to bed. Tony's even breathing never changed when she settled back beside him, brushing her lips over his collarbone and closing her eyes. His warmth seeped into her tired body and to the rhythm of her husband's heartbeat Ziva found slumber again.

**NCIS**

The alarm buzzed at three am, far sooner than either was ready to get up. Tony had to smile though at the sleeping ninja using his chest for a pillow and he kissed her forehead. "Morning honey."

She groaned. "Morning does not come until sunrise."

"We'll probably be watching it from the plane." He yawned and stretched. "Feel like breakfast before we leave?"

Ziva sat up. "I do not think my stomach would appreciate food this early." Concern shadowed his features briefly before he buried it and she patted his chest. "We can get something there. I am sure there will be plenty of time."

Tony lifted her palm to his lips and chuckled. "Good plan, because I suddenly remember we're out of milk and yogurt so the selection is limited." He got out of bed and paused, keeping his voice low. "Hey, do you think Meira is still asleep? Maybe we should pull the old switcheroo now."

She shimmied out of her pjs and began getting dressed. "Already done."

His eyes narrowed. "When?"

Ziva shrugged one shoulder. "A couple hours ago when I could not sleep."

Tony buttoned his jeans and frowned. "Did you have a bad dream?" Usually he noticed these things.

"No. But I was awake and thought I may as well put it to good use." She gathered her hair to put in a ponytail but reconsidered and reached for a clip instead. Even though the cozy sweater she wore now would help keep out the winter chill, it was a relief to know that in a matter of hours they'd be basking in glorious eighty degree heat.

"Now we just have to wait and see how it works." As if on cue Meira came into the room, bunny held in her mouth and tail wagging slightly. Tony grinned and knelt beside her. "Happy Christmas Eve pretty girl, do you like your present?" She set the toy down and licked his cheek.

Ziva smiled and joined them, running her hand over the dog's soft coat. "Boker tov motek. I am sorry we will miss Christmas together this year, but you are going to have so much fun with the children and Cody." Mark, Cassie, and the kids would be coming to get her after breakfast so there wouldn't be much time alone at all, for which she was thankful. Their friends were such a blessing. She kissed Meira's muzzle. "Anahnu ohevim otcha." _We love you_.

Tony left the room and came back with a couple treats that they shared with her, then his watch alarm beeped. "Ten minutes babe and we need to be out of here."

With a last pat for Meira Ziva stood and went out to re-check their luggage while Tony made the bed and disposed of the tattered used-to-be-a-bunny. Together they did a last minute sweep of the house for anything forgotten - like toothbrushes that almost went back in the holder once they'd been used, extra hair elastics for Ziva and Tony's aviator shades from the shelf by the door. They were just heading out the door when she suddenly thought of one more thing and raced back to their room. He spotted the difference immediately, his pleasure at the change impossible to disguise.

"You're wearing the necklace I gave you."

Ziva touched his cheek gently, her lips curving up. The coolness of her rings on his skin was another reason to be happy - not since she first returned from the desert had there been an opportunity for them to wear the symbols for an extended period of time. "It is one of my favourite possessions," she assured her husband. "You have very good taste."

Tony dropped the bags he was holding and cupped her face, taking over her mouth for a deep kiss. "Yes," he murmured, resting their foreheads together, "I do." Her eyes shone at such a profound truth and the couple was lost in their own little world until the second watch alarm interrupted. Then luggage was gathered, Meira bid goodbye, and an adventure began.

Arriving at the airport, getting through check in, customs, and security didn't take as long as expected, though perhaps that was because four am wasn't exactly a high traffic time at the airport. After the official stuff was taken care of and they had only their backpacks to worry about, Tony and Ziva picked a sit down restaurant near their gate and ordered a hot breakfast. With nearly two hours until the flight left there was no need to rush so they lingered over an omelette and fruit bowl (Ziva's) and a full plate of bacon, eggs, and toast (Tony's), though he did share his toast and the packages of grape jam he picked just because she liked that kind. Fancy coffee and tea fortified them for the wait and by the time they chose two adjoining seats at the gate less than sixty minutes remained before takeoff.

Tony slid his fingers between hers, dropping a kiss on her head when she leaned it against his shoulder. "Are you excited?"

Ziva sipped her tea. "I do not think it feels real yet. Perhaps once we are on the plane I will believe this is actually happening." She looked up at him. "Are you?"

He put his arm around her shoulder. "Absolutely. I can't tell you how long I've wanted to take a vacation with you, something that doesn't involve work and has no purpose except us enjoying ourselves." _And enjoying each other_, he added silently, hoping for a lot of carefree vacation sex. "This is what husbands and wives should be able to do together. The next nine days are going to be amazing."

She traced his wedding band. "This will be one of my favourite parts," she shared softly.

"Mine too."

Lost in separate thoughts of what their trip might look like they hardly noticed time passing and then the announcement came on for first class passengers to begin boarding. Knowing their section would be next Tony and Ziva unfolded themselves from the chairs and stood with their backpacks on the seats, waiting. Not having any idea when the next time was they'd be able to take a trip together since stretches of time off were rare on Team Gibbs, the couple had splurged on this vacation - everything from their seat class to accommodations and, unbeknownst to Ziva, several activities Tony had reserved that he knew she'd love. He'd been doing some serious research on St. Martin since they booked the flight and all that collected information was now tucked safely in his backpack. He just hoped she'd be surprised in a good way when she found out they had an itinerary.

When their turn came they joined the business line and handed over the tickets. After walking down a long hall they came to the door of the plane. For once it wasn't the slow shuffle to the back and no acrobatic moves were required to squeeze themselves into tiny, without-any-personal-space seats. Instead Tony and Ziva dropped into nice wide cushy quarters complete with folded blankets and a gentleman that approached almost immediately to ask what they'd like to drink. Since it was far too early for anything fancy they settled for orange juice, tapping their plastic cups together in celebratory fashion.

"Just wait, in about eight hours we'll be sipping something a whole lot more exotic than juice," Tony commented, staring at the window.

Ziva followed the direction of his gaze and noted for the first time that without exception when they flew he gave her the window seat and yet spent much of his time looking out of it. "Would you like to sit here?"

He blinked and swivelled his head towards her. "What?"

She gestured to the window. "You always seem interested in seeing out. We could trade."

Tony settled deeper into the seat. "No thanks." His twinkling eyes met hers. "I'm quite enjoying the view from right here." What he didn't want to tell his wife because it would probably count as treading on her ability to care for herself, was that sitting on the outside of the row or at least the outside of her made him feel more like the guy, the protector. Though she no longer needed a shield as she had in the early days after Somalia, he still liked being that for her anyways. But he could never be sure if such a sentiment would be met with that adoring expression he loved or a roll of the eyes and aggravated huff complete with Hebrew muttering about overprotective husbands.

Ziva's searching look made him think she had already discerned his non-answer, but she turned her attention away without comment. In relative short order they were ready to go and his wife passed him a stick of gum as their plane taxied down the runway. It lifted into the air, climbed and slowly leveled out. As soon as that happened Ziva abandoned sitting properly and instead reverted to Indian style, tucking the blanket around her legs. She leaned forward to reach her backpack and withdrew another thick book from Cassie, this one involving a brilliant young woman and the submarine commander who loved her.

He sighed and shook his head. "You brought a book on vacation."

Ziva removed the bookmark that held her place. "I brought two, actually."

"I think you're missing the point."

She shrugged. "I find reading relaxing. And if you are taking a nap I may sit out in the sun to enjoy the story, or lounge by the beach. Whatever hits my fancy."

"Strikes my fancy," he muttered, catching her hand. "Plus, if I take a nap I'd certainly be hoping you'd join me."

Closing the book again, Ziva studied him. "Should this count as our postponed honeymoon do you think?"

He frowned. "No. Definitely not."

She arched one eyebrow. "Why not? You said it would be something special, somewhere we've never been before." A smile claimed her lips. "This vacation is something special and I have never been to St. Martin Island. Besides," she winked, a teasing sparkle lighting her eyes, "I do plan on making it everything we both deserve."

Tony rubbed his forehead. "You and your photographic memory. That is not what I meant." Her expression encouraged him to elaborate and explain his thoughts. "This is merely the vacation we've needed for a long time and it has to be a secret. Our honeymoon will be different because it'll happen after everyone knows we're married and I can kiss you in full view of the entire office without it affecting our jobs. And then we'll announce that we're taking time off together for the express purpose of the honeymoon we never got."

Ziva trailed her fingers down his cheek. "I did not know you had put so much thought into it."

He flexed his shoulders. "There's been...times in the last few years when the subject has...come to mind more often."

His hesitation made her wonder if those times included when he believed her to be dead and that they'd forever lost their chance for a honeymoon, but she didn't want to burden the joy of this trip by asking for details. Instead she kissed his cheek, indulging his mouth when he sought more than just a light brush of lips, and returned focus to the novel in her lap. Tony took her hand in his, content to relax for the moment and the two hour flight to Atlanta passed quickly.

On arrival the couple found their gate with little trouble and wandered around until they discovered a good place to grab drinks (decaf this time) and a snack before they boarded the plane that would take them the rest of the way to their destination. A four hour flight this time, departing nearly mid-morning, allowed them a chance to lay back in the comfortable seats and catch up on some of the rest that had been missed earlier. It made Tony enjoy the nap significantly more when Ziva moved the seat arm between them and cuddled up to his chest. He wrapped an arm around her back, pressed his lips to her forehead, and closed his eyes. Vacation had already begun.

**NCIS**

Waking up in his wife's old bedroom in her parent's house was not exactly how Jordan pictured his first anniversary, but they'd agreed after getting engaged to spend every other holiday with each other's family as long as it was just the two of them. Should they be blessed with children, the terms would then be renegotiated. Forcing everything from his mind except the most important - first anniversary - he rolled over and kissed his wife, stroking her cheek. "Happy Anniversary Mrs. Lewis."

Her lips curved up, though her eyes remained closed. "Twelve months and sometimes I'm still getting used to being called that." Granted the title didn't get used very often when most people in her work and personal life addressed her as 'Allie'.

Jordan rubbed her ring. "Makes me feel pretty special." He loved that, in a society where things were becoming less and less traditional, she'd wanted to take his name.

Allie blinked and focused on her husband. "Happy Anniversary." She stretched, then shivered at the less than warm temperatures outside their blanket cocoon. "I vote for staying in bed."

He chuckled. "Normally I'd be thrilled to go along with that suggestion, but I have a plan."

Scooting closer, she began planting tiny kisses down his neck. "What would I have to do to convince you?"

The words were a murmur on his skin and Jordan's pulse jumped. "That's playing dirty," he protested weakly as she continued bestowing kisses over his chest.

Allie glanced up, a twinkle in her eyes. "Is it working?"

Groaning, he grabbed her face and captured her lips, pouring out his answer in the deep caress. Mission accomplished, she grinned against his mouth and proceeded to thoroughly (but quietly) enjoy their private anniversary celebration. Sometime later, fully clothed in warm, appropriate for public pyjamas - following tradition in the Cameron household - the couple sipped mugs of hot chocolate made with the kettle she kept on her dresser, and watched snow falling softly outside the window.

"I have to say," Jordan commented when half his mug was empty, "I wasn't sure how we were going to work out time for us during this visit." Though considering her room came with an ensuite bath he'd come up with a few ideas.

Allie smirked at him over the rim of her cup. "Mom and Dad were very conscientious about soundproofing when they built this house. They had four little kids and no plans for more (Emily had been a big surprise when their youngest was nine) but wanted to ensure their marriage didn't suffer or get lost in the parenting aspect. We learned very early on that Mommy and Daddy needed to be alone together and as long as a movie was playing and there were snacks available we hardly noticed their absence."

She chuckled at a memory. "Brian was the first to figure out what they were doing behind closed doors but Mom wasn't embarrassed by his frank observation and told him that someday he'd have a wife and they'd want to do the same thing. We grew up aware that married couples spent time alone without their kids and though we didn't advertise it to our friends or anything, the subject wasn't taboo." She glanced towards the door where down the hall all four of her siblings slept - Brian and his wife Melody, Michelle with her husband Levi, Jeff and his new bride Nadia, and Emily whose boyfriend Tyler was in the basement guest room and due for an interrogation by older protective brothers after breakfast. If he survived, which she was confident he would based on the way he looked at her baby sister, Tyler planned to join them for supper and the Christmas Eve service at church before heading home to spend the holiday with his family. The cousins, four year old Liana who belonged to her oldest brother and three year old Jace from her older sister, minus his baby sister six month old Genevieve who was in a playpen, had the pullout couch in the livingroom so they could watch for Santa.

Allie cuddled close to her husband. "I'm sure we're not the only ones making good use of a peaceful early morning." It was almost over she knew, both kids would be up any minute and clamouring for attention from beloved aunts and uncles, as well and parents and grandparents.

Jordan shook his head. "We were never that open in my family. I spent a lot of energy trying not to think about what my parents did to get me and Aria." He leaned in for a warm sweet kiss. "But I wouldn't trade us for the world." She smiled, content to be with him. A moment later he placed a small box in her hands. "To commemorate the day."

Setting her now empty mug aside, Allie untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. Inside, nestled on a pillow of cotton, lay a small old fashioned watch on a chain. Decorated with antique scrollwork the effect was quite stunning and her eyes widened. "Oh Jordan, how did you know?"

He shrugged. "I've spent enough time with you and _Anne of Green Gables_ to know how you feel about classic things. When I saw this I knew right away you'd love it."

"I do," she assured him, lifting it gently and slipping the chain over her head. She clicked open the little round door and watched the hands move around the face. "You're so thoughtful, thank you."

Jordan captured her lips for several moments, then Allie broke away and retrieved his gift. "I don't think mine is quite as romantic, but I still think you'll like it."

He tore the wrapping away and gaped at her. "Allie, how-?"

She shrugged. "One of the guys in my office has a connection. I got the name from Darien. Figured you might like a jersey autographed by your favourite basketball player."

For that he gathered her close and kissed her breathless. "You figured right," Jordan grinned. "Thank you honey." He chuckled. "I might have to frame it."

Allie bit her lip. "Do you think it could go in the office?"

"What, you don't think it'd look cool in our room?" he teased, backpedaling at her look. "The office is great."

A knock came at the door. "Aunt Allie, Uncle Jordan, Daddy says it's time for breakfast."

Allie smiled. "Come in Lia." Their niece pushed it open and bounded into the room, clambering up in Jordan's lap. Allie barely saved his gift from being wrinkled and set it out of reach.

"We're having pancakes," she confided. "Daddy makes good animals. What's your favourite?"

Jordan rubbed his nose on hers. "Do you think he can do snowmen?"

"Ooh!" Liana squealed, grabbing his hand and dragging him after her. "Let's go ask!"

Shooting a helpless glance at his wife he allowed the little girl to lead him downstairs and into the cozy, family filled kitchen. Today was about being with the important people in their life and he was all for that. But tonight when he surprised her with a moonlight horsedrawn sleigh ride it would just be him and the woman he loved above all else. That was something to look forward to.

**NCIS**

His ever prepared wife came back from the bathroom twenty minutes before landing in cute tight capris and a t-shirt in several varying shades of blue and green, looking quite tropical. Tony, on the other hand, would have to wait until they got to their hotel to change pants for shorts. He did, however, sport his Hawaii Magnum shirt underneath the sweater that had been needed in DC, along with winter coats stashed in their suitcases upon arrival at the airport that wouldn't be in use for the next week and a bit.

He rubbed a hand down her smooth leg. "I've missed that sight."

She rolled her eyes and swatted him playfully. "Yes, and I think you planned this whole trip just so you could google me."

Tony kissed her slowly. "Since when is that a problem?"

Ziva was relaxed and content and they hadn't even arrived yet. "It is not. There is very little that makes a woman feel more confident than knowing her husband appreciates her appearance."

He brought her hand to his lips. "Then you, Mrs. DiNozzo, should be the most confident woman in America because your husband can't take his eyes off of you." His voice dropped to a whisper. "But it's not just your appearance I appreciate."

Faint colour rose to her cheeks, which he considered another victory, and the captain's voice announced, "We will be landing at Princess Juliana International Airport in approximately ten minutes. Local time will be two oh five pm , the current temperature is a balmy eighty-four degrees. Please make sure your seatbelts are fastened and tray tables up as we prepare to make our descent. Thank you."

Like she always did when they traveled Ziva changed her watch to match their destination while Tony just resigned himself to doing math or relying on his wife whenever he wanted to know the time. As the plane nose edged down in slow descent both halves of the couple pressed close to the window, eager to see where they'd be spending their vacation. The island was hilly and green, dotted with sprawlings of civilization balanced by an equal number of areas that looked entirely undeveloped. White strips of sandy beaches and gorgeous clear blue water caught their attention and suddenly they couldn't wait to see all of it up close.

It seemed like ages before they finally touched down and by then Ziva had repacked her bag and was ready to leave. Being close to the front gave them an advantage and they joined the line early, exiting the aircraft and following signs for baggage claim. Dutch, French, English, Spanish, and Creole, among several other languages, flowed around them as they traversed the beautiful yet busy airport and Ziva smiled every time her ears caught something she recognized. Sometimes it was nice to be a place where English wasn't the predominant language spoken.

To make their bags more noticeable Ziva had tied brightly coloured shoelaces to the handles and Tony spotted them right away. Once he hefted the suitcases off the carousel they both looked at each other with a 'now what?' expression and he grinned. "I guess transportation is our next step, assuming we didn't want to use up our vacation bumming around the terminal, nice as it is."

Ziva slipped on her sunglasses and took her bag. "Lead the way."

Thankfully Tony's research had prepared him for this and he knew taxis would be waiting outside. When they walked out heat slapped them like a wave and he took a deep breath of warm tropical air. Looking towards the vehicles parked close to the doors he found a gentleman eager to be of service. Greeting them in French and English and storing their bags, he seemed surprised when Ziva replied in his native language. The two chatted until they were settled inside and then Tony gave the name of where they were staying and the journey began. Their driver quickly discerned that French was not in Tony's repertoire and gave a short history lesson on the island in lyrical accented English.

There didn't appear to be any rush as he navigated the n arrow road, pointing out sights of interest along the way. Some Tony was already familiar with from his reading and others he hadn't come across at all. Almost an hour and a half after they'd landed, complete with several stops waiting for others or so the driver could greet friends, Tony and Ziva were delivered to their accommodations where they were met inside the door and their reservations inquired about. Once the details were confirmed a porter was dispatched to lead them to the bungalow Tony had rented, complete with all the amenities of a regular hotel.

Following a generous tip the man left them alone with the key and he pushed the door open. The inside was a little piece of island paradise, done in light colours that made the whole place seem bright, airy and spacious. A full kitchen and small dining area was the first thing they saw, then a door opened into the large bedroom and ensuite bath. Since Tony hadn't let her in on many of the plans, Ziva was taken aback to realize he'd found something that quite closely matched the idea in her head of a romantic island getaway. She set her things down by the bed and immediately threw open the balcony doors, taking in the gorgeous view of ocean and sand right outside their room.

"Oh Tony, it is beautiful." He came up behind her and she turned, sliding her arms around her waist. "You chose very well."

He dropped a kiss on her hair. "I'm glad you think so." It was actually better than expected, considering he hadn't been able to find as many pictures of the place as he would've liked. Besides having lounge chairs and a small soaking pool, the balcony also boasted an inviting white hammock covered in pillows, which he couldn't wait to relax in.

Ziva tore herself away from the view long enough to wander into the bathroom, where a smirk claimed her lips. "Tony, I think you will like this." He was at her side in mere seconds and whistled at the decor. "Wow. That's...unexpected."

Tastefully done in a style that made it feel like a tropical island, the bathroom had stone counters and bamboo sinks, plus a large spacious tub along the wall. But the biggest surprise was the shower - completely open with no doors and only set a few inches below the normal floor to avoid flooding. The showerhead was a large rain shower design and Tony already loved the thought of enjoying their daily routine with her underneath it. He drew her into his arms again, kissing the side of her neck. "It feels like more freedom already, doesn't it?"

She understood what he meant. "Uninhibited, out in the open, everything we long for." She closed her eyes. "Ahava, thank you for this vacation."

Tony sensed her struggling with the emotion and grazed his lips over her ear. "Just wait honey, this is only the beginning." He led the way back into their room and flopped down on the bed. "Oh yeah, we're going to sleep well here."

Ziva sank down beside him her lips finding the corner of his mouth. "Somehow I think sleeping is not the main part of what you were thinking."

He twirled a lock of her hair around his finger. "You guessed correctly. But early morning taken into consideration, I'd be fully on board with waiting carefree vacation sex until tomorrow morning."

Her laughter warmed his heart, as did the look in her eyes he knew so well, making him shiver as her mouth brushed his neck. "If that is how you want to wake up on our first day, I'm inclined to indulge that fantasy." Tony was thinking seriously about indulging in a few other things, but she moved out of reach before he could act on them. "I know we are probably going out tonight, but we should go shopping and stock the kitchen for breakfast tomorrow at least."

His nose wrinkled. "That isn't quite as much fun."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Shall I leave you here then?"

Tony was up in a flash. "Not a chance lady. Where you go, I go." He glanced down at his attire. "After I change into something that better reflects summer temperatures though." He knelt to unzip the suitcase, fished out a pair of shorts, and with a cocky grin dropped his pants right there and replaced them with the other bottoms.

Pivoting around with a swish of her hair, she commented, "If you were trying to tempt me into changing my mind, you will have to do better than that."

"Oh yeah?" he growled, catching her around the waist. "I know a few things that could change your tune in a hurry. Remember that I've spent four and a half years learning you."

His breath hot against her skin Ziva nearly gave in, then effortlessly extricated herself from her husband's grasp and backed away. "And you know me better than anyone. Well enough to know that I am not falling for your tactics until after grocery shopping."

"So there's still hope then?" Tony called after her, tucking his wallet in the front pocket of his shorts. Her silence wasn't terribly reassuring but he felt quite confident that there'd be plenty to satisfy both of them later on.

At the front door she used the key to lock it and handed the small piece of metal to Tony. He followed her down the winding pathway, glancing at her suspiciously. "Do you know where you are going?"

Ziva tipped her sunglasses down far enough to wink at him. "You are not the only one who can research our vacation spot during lunch hour."

"Ooh," he grinned and grabbed her hand. "A woman with skills, I like it."

She bumped him lightly with her hip and after a short stroll they found the store she was looking for. A basket of exotic looking fruit, fresh squeezed orange juice, milk, and a loaf of bread later they had what was needed for a simple breakfast. Ziva also picked up a jar of local jam when it was recommended while Tony kept dropping in anything that seemed remotely interesting. They headed back to their bungalow when he caught sight of the sun's lowered position in the sky and suddenly stopped. "What time is it?"

"Just after five."

He pulled her towards the hotel. "We have to hurry."

Ziva arched an eyebrow at him. "Why?"

"I'll explain later, right now we need to dump that stuff inside and get my map."

Curious but willing to go along, she obligingly picked up the pace and quickly stored the food while Tony dug through his bag for the map he needed. Then they were off again, a brisk fifteen minute walk bringing them to their destination. Folding the map and stuffing it securely in a pocket, he laced their fingers together and slowed the pace. "Ziva, welcome to Baie Longue. Aptly named as it is one of the longest beaches on the island."

Standing at the edge of the trees, Ziva slipped off her sandals and dug her toes into the pristine sand, staring out over bluer waters than she'd seen since she was a child swimming in the Mediterranean Sea. "It's lovely," she said softly, a light breeze teasing strands of hair across her face. "But why this beach?"

He didn't want to tell her yet that he'd read through the descriptions of all thirty-seven beaches belonging to St. Martin and had chosen the best nine - one for every day of their stay - to see with his wife. "It's one of the quietest ones and I thought we could use a little peace after the hecticness that is traveling. And," he squeezed her fingers, "I hear the sunset here is absolutely not to be missed."

She gazed out at the dreamlike setting, trying to convince herself that it was all real and they were really here together. Only the gentle lapping of the waves disturbed the stillness and she closed her eyes, letting the serenity of it all wash over her. "I think I finally know what vacation feels like."

Tony cradled her cheek in one hand, gently bringing his lips to hers. "I know what you mean." The pure blue sky began slowly tinting a rich orange and he tugged her forward. "Fancy a walk in the surf while the sun sets?"

Ziva walked by his side, pleased to dip her toes in and find the temperature pleasantly warm. "Do you know how much I love water?"

He still didn't know how she could think of it so fondly given portions of what she'd suffered both in Somalia and Mossad, but it was one thing on which her positive opinion never wavered. "I know how you feel about swimming, what else do you love?"

"Everything," she answered softly. "The sound of the waves rolling in, the colour, the way it seems to go on forever. Free, unfettered, ready to take you wherever the wind blows. I love the way it smells and feels," at this point she crouched and swirled her hand through the clear liquid, "and how it reminds me of my childhood. Of staying at Aunt Nettie's cottage and playing on the beach with my brother and sister. Of childhood and joy, a blithe time before the world intruded." She shrugged one shoulder. "I do not think I am putting it into words right."

Tony swallowed, pressing his lips to her temple. "I think you did just fine. And I'll be happy to watch you enjoy being surrounded by water this week."

The clouds had become purple, overlaying the orange sky - the effect was breathtaking and Tony wished he'd brought the camera, but knew that no matter how hard he tried a picture would never be able to do this view justice. The couple was quiet as dusk crept in, content to bask in the atmosphere, but eventually they retraced their steps and returned to their room.

Since dinner hour on the island was as late as seven or eight in the evening, they still had time to unpack before making their reservations. He was planning to start their trip off with a bang at one of the fanciest, most romantic restaurants the island boasted. They couldn't afford to eat like that every night, not even with all the comp time he and Ziva had cashed in to fund their impromptu holiday - her shortly after they'd booked the flight and him only days before the holiday began - but at least for one night he could make her feel like a princess.

Instead of putting their things in drawers it seemed to make more sense just to leave their suitcases propped open along the wall where they were out of the way but still accessible. As he was looking for something a little more dressy to wear to dinner Tony came across the small item he'd packed, not sure about Christmas traditions in other countries. Coming up behind Ziva he held it over their heads and whispered, "Turn around and look up."

She did without question, a smile spreading across her face. "Mistletoe?"

He endeavoured to appear innocent. "Wouldn't quite be Christmas without it."

Her hands came up to hold his face, soft lips melting into his. "No, it would not." With that he dropped the bit of greenery on the floor and surrendered to the magnetic pull between them and the intoxicating taste of his wife's mouth, positive this was already the best vacation ever.

_Replies:_

_Debbie - I'm glad that's the way you see the chapter. Things have been heavy lately so uplifting and sweet is a nice change of description :) The second half of this part I'm aiming to have more Tony focused since everything has been about Ziva for so long. She's going to get the chance to repay some of what T's been giving her all these months. They do make a great team, that's part of why I love them. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Hi ya - Hi! :) Well, thank you very much. I'm glad you're enjoying the series. Yes, the way Somalia was glossed over is the reason my other series, Remnants of Somalia was born. I hadn't planned to go into as much detail in MIT as I did there, but I can't always predict which way a story will go. Haha...you and many others are anxiously awaiting the reveal of their marriage, however, it is a year and a half away (in story time, but maybe in real life time too, I have no idea how long MIT will go for yet) so try not to get your hopes up yet. You're welcome for the story, I really love writing it. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	27. 8x12 Recruited 2

_A/N: Hi guys! So sorry for the long delay between chapters but August was kinda nuts as far as work goes. The last two weeks of the month I worked almost 140 hours so there wasn't much time for anything else. Now I'm sick, fighting the same cold I have been for the last few days and it's kind of hard to concentrate when I'm tired and coughing and all that other fun stuff. I got a bit stuck on this chapter so I'm not sure if it's going to be quite up to par, but I did the best I could under the circumstances. I'll update again when I can but at the moment I'm not sure when that will be. Thank you for your patience and it would be great to hear what you think. ~ Love, Aliyah_

**Friday December 24 continued**

While Tony and Ziva were sleeping on St. Martin, in DC Gibbs put the final touches on his evening meal and waited for the phone to ring. It did, precisely at seven pm, only slightly earlier than the normal dinner hour where his companion was calling from. He answered with a smile. "Hey Les."

She sounded a bit out of breath. "Hi yourself. Are you ready?"

Gibbs headed for the couch. "Just sitting down now. What'd you get?"

"Since I refuse to go to all the trouble of Christmas dinner when I'm alone in the apartment and it's sixty-five degrees too warm for the season, I picked up take-out. Turkey, mashed potatoes, carrots and stuffing." She chuckled. "I couldn't bring myself to completely bypass tradition."

He glanced out the window. "I'll share my snow."

"I wish you could," she sighed. "I miss the fireplace." Her comment slipped into dangerous territory that they both silently agreed to ignore and Celeste cleared her throat. "Do I have to ask what's on your plate or do I already know?"

Surveying the steak and potato in front of him, he nodded. "Twenty questions would probably be overkill."

Celeste shook her head. "Honestly Jethro. If I was there I'd make you eat real food for a change."

Gibbs overlooked what he couldn't have and began cutting his meat into pieces once she was on speakerphone. "Did you call to argue or watch Christmas movies?"

"I don't argue," she returned mildly. "It's hard to argue when-"

"You're always right?" he finished dryly.

"That is not what I was going to say." She savoured a bite of mashed potatoes. "Did you find the movies?"

"Yup, got 'em. Which one first?"

Soft Christmas music clicked on in the background and she speared a carrot slice. "I hope I'm not making you do something you'll hate." Even though they'd made these plans together uncertainty still abounded.

Gibbs took a drink. "I want to spend this time with you. What're we watching first?"

Celeste smiled slightly. "_A Holiday to Remember_. It doesn't quite qualify as a Western, but it is set in the country."

"Close enough," he replied, sliding it into the player. It was amazing what showed up in discount bins at this time of year.

One of Celeste's habits, something so instinctive she barely noticed, was doing a running commentary during any movie she watched. Initially when they'd been together it was a disconcerting trait for a man very accustomed to silence, but over the years he'd gotten used to and even come to enjoy it. He wasn't required to make more than a comment or two, just enough that she felt he was listening, and Gibbs liked hearing the observations on one of her favourite holiday films.

Supper was long over by the time the characters got a happy ending and they moved onto _A Smoky Mountain Christmas_. "Unless you wanted to choose the next one," she put in quickly.

"I don't much care," he admitted. "Just nice to not be alone."

"Yes," Celeste whispered, "I know."

When that movie had come and gone she insisted it was his turn to pick and Gibbs suggested one of the few in his limited collection. "Ever seen _A Christmas Visitor_?" He liked it because of the military theme and family angle, which caught his attention when he skimmed the back of the case.

She paused, getting up to go peruse the shelves in her room devoted solely to Christmas movies. "It sounds familiar." Her eyes skimmed titles and finally landed on the one she was looking for. "Yes. I have it as part of a compilation pack, but I don't think I've watched it yet." Each year it became harder to both see all of her favourites and sneak in a few of the new ones she'd discovered. The original rule was that the Christmas film season began the first weekend in November, but she'd have to start pushing that back to before Halloween if she wanted to get through them all.

"Good. I'm first for once."

"I love when you introduce me to something that touches your heart Jethro," she shared after reading the description. "Every time I feel like I know you just a little better."

"That's saying something when you've known me longer than anyone."

"Except Mike Franks."

Gibbs wondered again what it would be like if they ever met. "You know me more," he shared. "I like it that way."

Celeste couldn't think of anything to match such a compliment and simply smiled, settling in for the movie. Quite out of character Gibbs dropped little tidbits about his service in the military, giving her a glimpse into a time of his life she was glad she hadn't been around for because she couldn't've handled the danger he was in. NCIS was bad enough, a warzone would've given her nightmares. But the threads of trust that bound them together as friends drew tighter when he let her in a bit more and she was hopeful that their hearts would find a way to do the same.

Partway through Gibbs interrupted. "Pause it for a second." She did, waiting. He let out a breath. "Merry Christmas Les."

With her clock hours behind yet Celeste had failed to notice the time difference. "I can't say it yet."

He stretched out on the couch, shoving a pillow behind his head. Shannon always insisted throw pillows belonged on couches and he thought they were worthless. Looks like she proved him wrong. But he couldn't think about Shannon while he was trying to go somewhere with Celeste. Even a few steps would be progress to celebrate, but they were both so hesitant to go too far and mess everything up that he wasn't sure how that would ever happen.

"So tell me in three hours."

"It will be very late there," she warned him.

"I can tell time too."

"Are you allowed to be both a night owl and an early bird? Isn't that some kind of contradiction?"

"That's me, a walking contradiction."

"I'd have to agree with you there." Sometimes she wished he was easier to read, but then he wouldn't be the man she still loved with all her heart - flaws, contradictions, issues and all. If only it had been long enough to say those words again, but as things looked right now she'd be surprised if they got to that point any time in the next two years. To hope before that would just set herself up for disappointment. "Don't you want to sleep Jethro?"

"Ask me a question you'll actually like the answer to."

Celeste rolled her eyes. "Don't be difficult. You are human you know."

Gibbs rubbed his forehead. "How about I promise to sleep in if I stay up late enough to hear the same sentiment from you?"

She knew when to give in. "Deal. Can you wait a couple more minutes? I have a sudden craving for hot chocolate."

"Got marshmallows?"

"Marshmallows are for roasting over a bonfire," she retorted lightly. "But if you ever come visit I'll make sure to have them on hand. Call it a bribe."

That was the third statement in as many hours that showed him she was just as impatient as him for them to make it past this cumbersome 'just friends' stage. And though he wanted to give in, he couldn't compromise the foundation they were laying for all that might be in their future. It was one he wanted to hold onto with all of his strength. "You know what, I feel like hot chocolate too. Milk or water?"

The tone of her voice conveyed great offense. "Water belongs in camp hot chocolate. I want mine rich and creamy and so chocolatey I have to use a spoon to scrape out the excess at the bottom."

He chuckled. "Fair enough. Although I think I'll put less powder in mine. How long does a can last you anyways?"

"I eat it by the spoonful when I'm in the mood for something sweet and nothing else will do," she confessed as if she was sharing a deep dark secret while not actually answering.

"I'll keep that in mind." Should she ever come back to DC, there'd be a can of hot chocolate and a spoon waiting to sate those cravings.

Several minutes later they were back in their movie watching places. "Are we ready?"

"On three." She counted them down and the film continued.

By the time they got to movie number four neither could claim to be paying much attention and after the credits rolled Celeste curled up tighter under her favourite fuzzy blanket, totally unnecessary in California temperatures but a comfort nonetheless. "What's your favourite holiday memory?"

Gibbs' throat constricted as the too few Christmases he'd shared with his girls flew through his mind. He swallowed hard and shook them away. "New bike. I was ten. All the other boys had them, I'd been wanting one for weeks. Mom told me later Dad spent hours over the week before Christmas making sure it was put together right and polishing it up. I loved that thing."

He didn't have to ask for Celeste to take the cue for her turn. "Our family would go pick out a tree every year in November from the farm down the road. My brother and I spent hours tramping through those woods until we found the perfect one. Mom and Dad always fawned over it, assuring us that there'd never been a nicer tree. I loved the crisp clean air, the snow crunching on the ground, the anticipation of a long evening decorating the poor thing within an inch of its life before presents could be stowed underneath." She closed her eyes, trying to hold onto the sound of her father's laughter, the pride in her mother's eyes, the smile her brother wore. "We did that every year for two decades and I never got tired of it, not once."

Not having a family anymore was one other thing they had in common, but Gibbs didn't want to dwell on the painful things tonight and went for distraction instead. "Best Christmas present."

They traded questions back and forth for over an hour, then she said sleepily into the phone. "Merry Christmas Jethro. Thank you for a lovely evening. I don't remember the last time I enjoyed a Christmas Eve more."

Neither could he, come to think of it. "Saying goodnight already?"

She chuckled. "You've been yawning. And I know I'm definitely ready for bed." Her toes touched the end of the couch and she pulled her knees back up. "Although, I think I'll sleep out here tonight. Just me and Lexie." Her dog had been a quiet companion on the floor all evening though she had disappeared a couple of times, possibly for a change of scenery.

"Tell her I said hi."

"I will."

Silence permeated both ends of the phone line, full of all the things thus far left unsaid. "Sweet dreams Les."

"Goodnight," she all but whispered. They clung to the connection a moment longer, reluctant to lose touch with one another, but finally he hit the 'off' button on the phone and lay back. It was time to seriously start thinking about what he could do to get them closer to more, he was really getting tired of saying goodbye.

**NCIS**

**Saturday December 25** \- Day 2

About the same time Gibbs and Celeste were heading to bed, Ziva pulled the sheer white curtains bordering all four sides of the bed and woke her husband up in a very tantalizing way, yielding to his first wish for their vacation. Tony, dragged from great dreams into an even better reality was a willing accomplice to her plan and thought he hadn't seen his wife smile like that in almost eighteen months. Her joy fed his and when they collapsed back onto the sheets he kissed her like it was going out of style.

Ziva's eyes were lit by the afterglow of their intimacy and filled with a depth of love he'd spend his life trying to deserve. "What was that for?"

Tony couldn't even find the words to try and explain what was on his heart. "I love you so incredibly much Mrs. DiNozzo."

"And I you, Mr. DiNozzo." A smile teased her lips before they found his again. "That is the best reason of all."

Sleep claimed them quickly after that and it was past mid-morning before Ziva opened her eyes to bright sunshine for the second time that day. Laying there ensconced in their own private little world she lifted her fingers and lightly traced her husband's beloved features. All the cares he shouldered fell away when he slept and she wished his face could always look like this, unshadowed by the burden life gave them to bear. Leaning over she touched her lips to his cheek in the faintest whisper of a caress and slid slowly out of bed, finding a short turquoise chemise and sheer white sheer robe tucked away in the bottom of her suitcase. She hadn't wanted Tony to peek and discover that she'd gone shopping instead of to the gym the other night just so she'd have something new to wear for him.

In the bright kitchen she hummed a little tune while slicing fresh fruit, toasting bread, and pouring orange juice. Everything was arranged on a tray from atop the fridge and she carried it back into their room. Having already pushed back the curtain on his side, Ziva set the tray carefully in the middle of the bed and leaned over to kiss her husband. "Bonjour mon amour." _Good morning my love._

He sighed and pulled her closer. "Buenos dias cariño." _Good morning dear._

She chuckled. "I am impressed that you did not answer in English."

Tony cracked one eye open. "I hope it lasts because I think that's all I've got."

"You speak Spanish," Ziva pointed out.

He rubbed his face. "Not for awhile babe. It's a little rusty."

"It will come back if you practice." She sat up and Tony joined her, resting back against the headboard. "I brought breakfast."

A grin spread across his lips, but it was more due to her outfit than the food. "Now I'm the one feeling spoiled. Thanks honey."

His reaction didn't go unnoticed, especially the way his heated gaze raked over her body, and she loved the way his appreciation made her feel. Ziva fed him part of a piece of papaya and popped the rest in her mouth. "This holiday is not only for me. You deserve to feel special just as much."

"I love what you have on," he murmured, unable to resist stealing a kiss and tasting the sweetness of fruit on her lips. "Happy Christmas, by the way."

"Happy Christmas."

Tony glanced towards the balcony. "Think we should decorate that little potted palm out there? You know, just to make it feel festive."

She followed his gaze, spearing a bite of grapefruit. "We could. I am not sure what we would use, but there must be something that will work."

He worked on a piece of toast covered in a layer of the tangy jam she'd chosen, a frown creasing his brow. "Are you really okay with the trip being our present this year? It feels weird not giving you anything." The expense of vacation assured his logic that taking a pass on giving gifts to each other this once was a wise decision, but he still wished he had something small to give her for the occasion.

Ziva's eyebrows drew together and she reached over to cup his cheek. "Tesoro, you are giving me the world. I could ask no more than that."

"You make me sound so gallant," Tony huffed, not even sure why it was a big deal. "I don't think-"

When words failed to make an impression Ziva had found that interrupting him with a joining of lips and filling the caress with enough passion to stop his thoughts in their tracks could be highly effective. She pulled away slowly, licking her lips and tasting him. "Better?"

"Huh?" he had a dazed look that made her immensely proud of her skills. "Yeah, uh...I don't even remember what we were talking about."

Instead of making fun she returned her attention to the meal. "What are we going to do today? Shall we simply spend the afternoon on the beach?" For weeks she'd been looking forward to lounging by the water and relaxing, nowhere to go and nothing but her husband and the book from Cassie demanding her attention.

Tony had to wait a minute before her distraction technique faded and he could think clearly. "Well actually, I do have something planned. And I think you're really going to love it."

He knew her so well there wasn't a chance his plan wouldn't succeed. "I'm sure I will." She looked forward to proving him right.

**NCIS**

When Brent imagined Christmas morning with a family last year it included waking up next to his wife and making room for Ryan to jump up between them with Cody to announce that Christmas had come. He thought they'd go downstairs and open presents in their pyjamas, laughing as Cody chased down colourful wrapping paper and enjoying mugs of hot chocolate before going over to CJ's parents house for the traditional breakfast, Christmas story, and gift giving. Then maybe heading outside in snowsuits to play but leaving Cody inside because of his success last year in vanquishing their snowman. In the brief moments he had to picture the scene while CJ and Ryan were waiting for his answer to a question, Brent saw himself making a special candlelight dinner for the three of them, then snuggling on the couch during a heartwarming movie after attending a Christmas Eve service.

The real thing, however, turned out quite differently. Because of their plans to travel cross country and spend the holiday with Aunt Kate they did a Christmas lunch at Roger and Laurel's which included exchanging presents, reading the Christmas story from the Bible, and an unexpected look at a much younger version of CJ when he mentioned to his mother in law that he'd always wanted to see pictures from her ballerina days. The expression she sent his way said he'd pay for this later but he was pretty sure it would be worth it. Laurel only laughed and went upstairs to dig the dusty scrapbook out of a box. Even CJ couldn't keep the fondness out of her eyes as pages turned and she even shared a few recital stories with them.

After that they rushed to the airport for their flight, leaving a very unhappy Cody in a crate for the trip. Ryan watched the attendants wheel him away and frowned. "I don't know why he can't come inside with us. He sits on the seat in the car and he's really good."

Brent ruffled his hair. "I know buddy, but there's going to be a lot of people on the plane and Cody loves people. He might be too distracted to remember the rules."

Ryan wrinkled his nose and CJ put her arm around his shoulder. "We'll see him in a few hours moneky."

While they waited in line a little later to board Ryan slipped his hand into Brent's. "I'm really glad you're my dad so we can all go together this time."

His gaze met CJ's and he swallowed, squeezing the boy's hand. "Me too Ry." Being separated when they went to California over Spring Break has been extremely difficult, but wearing rings and signing papers made them a package deal from now on.

So here he was on Christmas morning, opening his eyes to find an almost nine year old cuddled up between them and a gold retriever who wasn't allowed on furniture sprawled out at the end of the bed. Ryan knew better than to wake his mom up before six-thirty to ask about presents, but he smiled when he saw Brent was already awake even though the clock read only five fifty-eight. "Merry Christmas Dad," he whispered.

Brent hugged him. "Merry Christmas buddy. You guys been here long?"

Ryan shook his head. "Not really. But Cody couldn't sleep any more."

He chuckled. "Cody, huh?" Glancing over at CJ he found her still lost in dreamland. "Well, how about we sneak outta here and get breakfast started? We'll let your mom sleep a little longer."

"Okay." Ryan crawled off the bed as carefully as he got on without disturbing his mother and the three of them tiptoed out of the bedroom of the small cottage they'd rented down the street from Aunt Kate's apartment. Once in the kitchen Brent found what they needed to make waffles and tasked his son with measuring ingredients while he got bacon started. Though she was what they affectionately termed a health nut, CJ's guilty pleasure was nice crispy bacon and of anything else they could make he knew that particular aroma would be the one to lure her out of sleep.

Twenty minutes later he was proved right when she shuffled from the bedroom in her robe, yawning and rubbing her eyes. She squinted at both of them standing by the counter and frowned. "Don't we have a six-thirty rule in this house?"

The 'boys' exchanged glances and went for innocent. "Well technically this isn't our house so...an exception can be made, right?"

CJ rolled her eyes and gave up, she couldn't fight both of them. "Just hand over the bacon and we'll call if even."

Brent grinned and kissed her, presenting his wife with a plate of bacon just for her. "Merry Christmas honey."

She smiled, wrapped her arm around their son and echoed the same sentiment, then retreated to the table a few steps away to watch the breakfast process. After a minute Ryan looked over his shoulder. "Mom, Amy's coming today too, right?"

Brent's eyebrows drew together. "Amy? Why does that name sound familiar?"

"Amy was my roommate in college. She's the one who found me a place to live with her aunt before Ryan was born."

"Oh, right." He thought about it for a minute. "So did all four of you guys live there? You, Aunt Kate, Jeff, and Amy?"

CJ remembered back to the summer she thought her life was over when it was really just beginning. "Let me see where to start with that one. For the longest time it was just Aunt Kate and Jeff. Her husband died when Jeff was ten so she had to figure out how to do everything on her own. Amy lived on the other side of California with her parents until they split up when she was fourteen. She moved in with Aunt Kate while they got their lives figured out and ended up staying until she started college."

"What's the age difference between Jeff and Amy?" Bren wondered.

"Umm...two and a half years I think," CJ answered, doing the math. "So he was sixteen when she came to live with them. Amy's never really gotten a great relationship back with her parents, it's a sad situation, but she and Jeff are super close, like the siblings they should've been." _Like Chris and I_, she added wistfully to herself. "He went to college but stayed at home, not moving out until right before Amy came back and I moved in. She only stayed for six months, then got a job and found a new place about twenty minutes away. She married when Ryan was two and Jeff followed suit a year later. So I guess the answer is no, all three of us never lived there at the same time. Sorry," she smiled a bit sheepishly, "I got sidetracked."

"That's okay. Lots of memories in this place, huh?"

"Like you wouldn't believe." CJ turned to her son. "Amy's going to be so happy to see you monkey. It's been a long time."

He helped Brent pour the batter for another waffle and grinned back at her. "I can't wait to watch Amy and Jeff race on the waves. They're the best."

Brent shot a questioning glance at CJ and she laughed. "Almost siblings and just as competitive as if they'd been born that way. He spent a lot of time teaching Amy to surf when she first moved in, an outlet for a whole bunch of emotions she didn't know how to deal with, and she was a natural. They're always trying to outdo each other. It makes for a pretty good show."

"I look forward to seeing it."

Breakfast was eaten while they discussed plans for the day, followed by the much anticipated opening of presents before they all got ready and headed over to Aunt Kate's. Ryan was almost immediately kidnapped by Amy and Jeff, who considered him something of a nephew, and whisked away to the beach. After being introduced and checking with CJ that she didn't need help with anything Brent joined them, eager to get to know the people who had shaped a crucial period of his wife and son's lives. While they were all enjoying the sand and surf CJ brought out the recipe from Cassie she'd secreted away for strawberry-rhubarb pie - the kind his surrogate sister always made for family dinners because he didn't like pumpkin - and together she and Aunt Kate put it together with love and set the dessert aside, ready to be a surprise for the man who never expected anything special for himself. Already it was turning into a Christmas to remember.

**NCIS**

As it turned out, there was time for what both halves of the couple wanted to do. After brunch and a shower Ziva changed into the new, strapless, blue and green bikini she'd teased her husband with, tied on a wispy side skirt, and slid sunglasses on. Turning to Tony she smiled brightly. "The beach beckons, would you like to join me?"

He was at her side immediately, admiring the swimwear with an appreciative gaze and rubbing a hand up her back, teasing the tie she'd done in a neat bow and let his lips graze the skin just above it. "Aren't you worried about tan lines?"

She chuckled throatily at the reminder of an old conversation and touched his chest. "I plan on remedying that later in the week mio caro. Our balcony is quite private."

The way she rolled the 'R' was so sexy and Tony groaned. "You sure we have to leave the room?" Places to go notwithstanding, all he wanted was her.

Ziva smirked and ignored him. "I read that there is a clothing optional beach on the island, should we try it out?"

He knew she had no intention of following through on that suggestion. "Now you're just being mean." His mouth covered hers and he sighed. "Maybe we could just make this a clothing optional vacation."

She tapped his cheek lightly. "Perhaps some of it."

Tony had to wait until his heart started beating again before quickly trailing her out. They spent a pleasurable hour and a half in a lounge chair on the beach sipping cold tropical drinks delivered right to their side and alternately reading, touching, making out, and listening to the sound of the ocean mere steps away. Finally Tony brushed his lips over her cheek. "We need to go inside and get dressed."

Ziva leaned her head back on his shoulder. "It is so rare for you to suggest putting clothes on."

His fingers followed the curve of her neck. "I'll take it back for tonight," he offered hopefully.

"Very well." She gracefully unfolded herself rom the chair and they went back to their room.

Thirty minutes later Tony and Ziva emerged from public transit at the butterfly farm. Ziva said nothing until they were under the tented mesh in what looked like a small rainforest. Hundreds of rare and exotic butterflies in all shapes and colours flew freely, flitting here and there, landing on greenery, flowers, and even visitors. Her lips parted in awe and he rested his hands on her shoulders. "You don't get nearly enough beauty in your life Zi, I wanted the chance for you to experience more."

Blinking against tears that tried to form, Ziva hugged him. "Thank you ahava," she whispered, lingering a moment before linking their fingers and beginning the tour.

Shortly into their walk along one of the winding paths she shared a memory, hoping it wouldn't ruin the moment. "Ari was afraid of butterflies."

Except for how it related to what they were currently doing, the topic seemed totally out in left field. Tony kept quiet for several steps, wanting to strike the right balance in his reply. He knew she wouldn't have brought her brother up if it wasn't significant somehow. Finally he squeezed her fingers. "How did that happen?"

Ziva shook her head. "I don't know. He never told me the reason. I just remember being out in the yard with him and Tali one day when she was still very small. She found a butterfly on one of Ima's roses and squealed with excitement. '_Ach, Achot, come and see! Come look!_' I went to her right away but Ari, a teenager by then, our older brother who would do anything for us, stayed much further back. _'I can see from here little one_.' Tali kept urging him closer and even went to grab his hand and drag him towards her discovery, but he simply distracted her and the day went on. It stuck with me for years because I could recall no other time Ari did not bend to our baby sister's wishes."

She leaned into Tony's side, clasping his hand in both of hers. "Years later I brought it up again and asked him while we were on stakeout. There were butterflies fluttering about beside a road we had been told to watch and they brought the moment to mind. He wouldn't answer the question directly but something he said made me wonder if he was not so much afraid as envious of the little creatures. '_Look at them Ziva. Look at how they play and live without a care in the world. Sometimes I hate them for being free when I will never be.'_" She sighed. "That was the end of our conversation, but I have never forgotten. I wish my brother had known freedom, that he could've escaped the life our father wanted in a manner other than death."

He heard the unfinished end of the sentence, 'at my hand', and stopped, cupping her cheek as his mouth laid a gentle claim on hers. "I know," he whispered. "He loved you Ziva. Hold onto that above all else."

Because she didn't want that memory to set the tone for their afternoon she forced the sadness away and only let herself focus on what her husband had planned for them. They saw more kind of butterflies than either knew existed, studied rows of chrysalises, gently stroked fat smooth and fuzzy caterpillars, stuck their hands under waterfalls and sat beside pools of Japanese fish. But the best part was watching his wife's awe when one of the delicate creatures landed on her hand, slowly opening and closing its paper-thin wings. She hardly breathed until it moved, not wanting to scare it away.

His wife pronounced the experience delightful and her smile was so bright when they left at closing.

Tony squeezed her hand. "I'm glad you enjoyed it honey." Not really his thing, but worth it for the joy on Ziva's face. "Ready for something to eat?"

She nodded and they stopped at small barbeque shack called a lolo. It didn't look very fancy but the aroma of jerk chicken and grilled fish drew them in for a taste of real Caribbean cooking that came at a very reasonable price. The locals were very proud of their cuisine and it showed in the food they served. Tony and Ziva settled at one of the picnic tables and enjoyed a delicious, filling catch of the day before heading off to their next activity. Ziva wiped her fingers on a napkin and brushed back the tendrils of hair that had escaped from the low ponytail he'd talked her into earlier. She still didn't know why Tony had insisted on a pair of longer, well worn capris she didn't even remember packing and a darker t-shirt, as well as the bikini he told her she'd be glad she hadn't changed out of later.

Ziva walked by her husband's side as he headed for the taxi that had been called for earlier. "I like very much the things we've done today. Shall I assume I'll feel the same way about any other activities you arranged?"

"Oh babe," he grinned, "trust me. You're going to love what comes next even better."

Tony was getting a bit jittery with nervous energy as they approached their destination and Ziva cocked her head at him in silent question. He was saved having to come up with something that didn't give away the entire surprise when the taxi pulled into the driveway of the Bayside Riding Club and her attention was immediately drawn to the grassy expanse where a couple dozen horses roamed and grazed and played. "Ohh," she exclaimed softly, turning wide eyes to his for confirmation.

He merely grinned and laced his fingers through hers. "I'm willing to bet this might be your favourite part."

"We're going riding?" Ziva asked, beginning to understand why he'd practically chosen her outfit for her.

Having a hard time holding it in, Tony nodded. "Yup. Just you and me for an hour and a half on the trail with a guide, and then something really special at sunset when we get to the beach."

Sensing more to the story, she arched an eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me?"

He shook his head slightly. "Nope. I think it'll be more fun to see your face when you figure it out."

Though she could've gotten the information out of him, he was having too much fun with the secret and the relaxed, laid back, sun-and-waves Ziva couldn't bring herself to care that he wasn't sharing all he knew. "Well, in that case I hope you brought your camera."

The car pulled up in front of the simple stables and a woman came out to meet them. "Mr. and Mrs. DiNozzo?"

Tony nodded and held out his hand. "That's us. I'm Tony and this is my wife Ziva."

"My name is Corine. I'm the manager here. Welcome to the Bayside Riding Club."

"Thank you."

Ziva barely noticed the rest of the introductions, far too busy basking in the glow of a title she rarely got to hear from her husband's lips. Though it would probably stroke his ego a little too much, she loved when Tony called her his wife to someone else. There was something about the claim those words staked that sent delicious shivers up and down her spine. It wasn't until Tony placed his hand on her lower back to steer her towards the first barn that she realized she'd missed the remainder of the conversation and hoped it hadn't been important.

Corine led them inside and Ziva found her to be a very nice woman. She was an experienced dressage rider and the way she talked about the animals showed she cared deeply for each of them. The stables weren't fancy inside but very neat and organized and most importantly, it was obvious the horses were well taken care of. "Our horses only work every other day so they don't get worn out, and when they're not showing our guests a good time they are free to roam the property doing whatever they please. We have thirty animals total and as you will see today, they really love what they do."

"I'm glad to see they are not just a business to you," Ziva commented. "I grew up around horses and it means a lot to know they are valued for everything they willingly give."

"That's exactly how we feel," Corine agreed. "They're doing us a favour by taking our guests out and we appreciate their contribution." A man around Tony's age entered the stable and she smiled. "Tony, Ziva, this is Ramey. He'll be your guide during the ride today."

Ramey shook hands with them both and gestured outside. "The horses are tacked up and ready to go. Right this way please."

Tony and Ziva followed him out and met their mounts. The animals were curious and kind, sniffing them all over for treats and standing perfectly still while they settled themselves in the saddles. It was clear even from the first few minutes as they headed out that the horses were quite well behaved. Though both halves of the couple could've easily handled being in charge with their previous riding experience, the horses knew their routine well and needed almost no guidance. Ramey led them on a pleasant ride along a bluff overlooking what was touted as St. Martin's most beautiful bay and regaled them with the history of the island, natural cures found in native plans and trees, and funny stories from his years as a guide for the club. He was friendly and informative and made the whole thing quite enjoyable, the love he had for horses and his job showed through very clearly and made an impression on his customers.

For over an hour they wandered the scenic trails through the Nature Reserve seeing flowers, cacti, and a vast assortment of fascinating flora and fauna. There were beautiful views of the island from high points and never a shortage of natural wonders to discover until they came to the beach where calm crystal waters stretched as far as they could see. Ziva was taken aback when Ramey asked them to dismount but judging by her husband's expression he knew this was coming. She still hadn't quite figured it out even after the saddles came off and their guide came to help them back on. Well, he would've helped except she had spent too many years with Dror not to learn how to get on his back with or without tack. Tony, lacking the practice, welcomed Ramey's assistance and then he removed their shoes, at which point Ziva quickly realized what was happening as the horses began wading into the ocean.

Her face lit up with a bright smile when the water reached her toes and turned to look at her husband, who was not immune the wonder of their experience. The horses moved out further, the ocean creeping up to waist deep on their riders, until they were actually swimming and moving together in the warm bay. From the shore Ramey, trusted with Tony's camera, willingly snapped photo after photo, capturing beautiful memories both Tony and Ziva knew they would cherish for years to come. Instead of adding them to their Year Four scrapbook, she began wondering if she would have to do a special smaller one just for this trip. Knowing Tony, he would have no problem taking several hundred pictures over the course of the week.

It was a fantastic, beautiful experience for the couple and so neat to ride bareback in the ocean while the sun sank lower in the sky and painted the clouds all sorts of wonderful colours. Tony had never ridden bareback before which only added to how special it felt. He knew, especially from the look on his wife's face, that this was a moment neither of them would ever forget. Of course, the fact that he felt like he was a in a romantic movie scene didn't hurt at all either and he was surprised by how much the horses seemed to love their time in the water as well. Of all the things he'd tried to fit into their time this week, Tony had a feeling nothing else would top that bareback sunset ride.

When they finally made it back to the stables the light was beginning to fade and he knew they'd have to hurry to make the last stop on his list for today - Nettle Beach. Number two on his list that wasn't an ideal swimming location but still a nice place to visit and not frequented by too many people if the description was to be believed. Walking towards their waiting taxi, incidentally the same man who'd driven them earlier, Ziva stopped and pulled his head down, meeting his lips with hers. Tony slid his hands around her back and deepened the kiss, thoroughly enjoying her spontaneity.

"Thank you," she whispered a breath away from his skin, "for knowing me so well. That was incredible."

"Zi," he murmured, tucking a errant curl behind her ear, "you are so worth the effort."

That earned him another kiss and a knowing look from the taxi driver when they finally made it into his vehicle. The shallow, college frat boy side of him was doing a victory dance because yeah, the odds of him getting lucky tonight were pretty high up there. But the mature, walked-through-fire-and-came-out-on-top side was completely gratified simply for having brought joy to the woman he loved.

Much later, in the quiet peace of their bedroom, Tony nuzzled her neck and sighed quite contentedly. "You know what I love?"

A smirk crawled over Ziva's lips as she recalled their most recent intimate time together and her fingers danced teasingly across his stomach. "I can think of a great many things ahava."

He caught her hand before it drifted any lower and completely disrupted his attempt at being sweet and poetic. His mouth brushed over hers lightly. "I love when you sign love letters 'your Ziva'. Gives me a thrill every time to know that it's true and you really are mine."

She dropped a kiss on the hollow of his throat. "I always will be tesoro. I belong to you just as you belong to me. That is the part of our vows I cherish most."

Tony held her a little tighter. "Promise?"

In their line of work promises were mere fantasy, but they both needed the reassurance. "As long as I draw breath Tony, I promise."

And for him that was enough to ensure another night of sweet dreams.

**NCIS**

Earlier that same day in DC Cassie found herself unable to get rid of the song lyrics circling through her mind over and over, as they had been since she woke up this morning and heard something that hit a little too close to home. _You stopped me in my tracks/Now I can see the future every time that I look back/ At the little footprints following me/Little footprints brand new/Little hands that hold my heart are only there because of you/Little footprints following me/So I walk more carefully/'Cause what I do and where I go/Is gonna wind up there too I know._

She'd been struggling all week with what was expected for today, sharing the evening Christmas meal with her father and his...fiancee. Knowing what was right and doing what was right were two different things, but also involved was what attitude she did it with and that was almost more important than the rest. Finally Cassie dropped what she was doing in the kitchen and retreated back upstairs, kneeling by their bed with turmoil swirling in her heart. Clasping her hands, bowing her head, and closing her eyes she poured everything out to the One who loved her above all else.

"Father I'm sorry for my attitude, please adjust it to match the way I know You want me to act. I've been selfish Lord and I know that. I've made this all about me but You reminded me this morning that there's so much more at stake. My children..." Her voice broke and she paused for a moment, pressing her lips tightly together. "They're gifts only on loan and You've trusted me, You've trusted us with these precious treasures to lead and guide and train up in the way You want them to live. They're watching me Father, so closely all the time, their eyes seeing even the things I wish they didn't, and it's my lead they're going to follow as we navigate these new waters."

Images of her mom passed through Cassie's mind and though she willed the tears away, they came anyways. "I thank you for the years we had with Mom Father God. Please help me now to think of Dad's happiness above my own and what he deserves in this next stage of his life. I don't want to like Claire. I feel like she's taking Mom's place even though no one ever could, but help me to love her the way You do and teach me to be thankful for the joy she's bringing to my dad. He has every right to it, to have someone he can share his life with, to not be alone anymore. Make me gracious tonight Father because right now I know that's something I can't do on my own strength. Thank You for my family God, I don't want to mess this up. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

She stayed in that position a little longer, taking time to be silent and listen for anything God wanted to say to her after that confession. Then she blew out a breath and stood, preparing to continue getting ready for the evening's plans. On her way out of the room she came face to face with her husband's broad chest and found herself ensconced in his strong arms. She'd been so wrapped up in her own thoughts and prayer that she hadn't even noticed his arrival. "Hey."

"Hi." Cassie met his smiling eyes and sighed. "How much of that did you hear?"

Mark kissed her lips gently, slowly, and rubbed his thumb over her cheek. "Enough to know that you're on the right track. You're asking for help Cass, in all the right places. You're doing good. And we're going to make it through tonight in one piece, I guarantee it."

"Be careful what you promise," she muttered, knowing herself a little too well. He just waited out her self-depreciation and finally Cassie relaxed. "Just...make sure you poke me or something if I need to be quiet, okay?"

"The great thing about being married is being able to have more faith in you than you do in yourself. I know you Cassie Matanah Reece. You're going to be just fine."

Cassie leaned up and let him feel the light pressure of her lips on his. "Thanks Mark. I needed to hear that."

"All part of the service," he quipped, draping his arm across her shoulders and leading her back towards the stairs. "So the dogs are walked, the kids are getting changed, and presents to take with us have been packed. How can I help?"

She paused halfway down the staircase and threw her arms around him. "You already have."

And half an hour later when he kept his hand firmly holding hers while she offered a warm smile and small gift to Claire as they were welcomed into her father's house, Cassie knew she would never run out of reasons to be thankful for the wonderful man God had given to be her husband.

**NCIS**

Adrian and Emma's first married Christmas together was celebrated at her sister's house, with thirteen month old Sophia completely stealing the show. She'd only recently started to take her first hesitant steps, carefully catalogued by Beth so her still deployed husband didn't miss any of these important milestones. With a full head of soft blonde curls, surprising when she'd been born with dark hair like her mom and aunt, and sparkling green eyes like her daddy Sophia had quickly earned the title 'little angel'. She'd completely charmed her uncle and the two absolutely adored each other.

Every time Emma and Adrian went over to visit Sophia attached herself to him, refusing to be held by anyone else as long as he was in the room. Beth thought it was adorable, though it made her heart hurt a little for Chris who should've been experiencing those bonding moments, and Emma melted a little more every time she watched her husband with their niece. If they hadn't already decided not to go the kids route, she would've given it serious consideration just because of times like these.

The four of them had gathered in the livingroom to open presents before dinner, laughing at the one-time only in her life when Sophia would find wrapping paper more fascinating than the presents underneath. They'd all taken turns and Emma saved what she hoped was the best for last, handing a flat rectangular cardboard box to her husband. "Your turn."

He knew by the way her eyes sparkled that it was going to be something special and eagerly tore off the ribbon and paper, being more careful when it came to peeling off the tape that held the two flaps together. When he moved them aside and saw what was captured inside the beautiful wooden frame, his mouth fell open. "Em..."

She shrugged one shoulder, unable to hold back her smile. "I had to go through one of your colleagues to get it right, even with all you've taught me in the darkroom I was afraid to mess it up." Granted some of the time they spent in his darkroom had little to do with developing pictures and everything to do with making a few more memories for themselves. "I just remember the look on your face when you thought you might've been able to capture that image after a year of trying. So when I started planning a present, this was the first thing that came to mind. Plus, it was a pretty special morning for other reasons as well."

At that Beth raised both eyebrows, seeing the recollection pass between them. Adrian leaned forward and captured his wife's lips, kissing her so tenderly that it brought tears to his sister in law's eyes. He pulled back slightly and stared into her eyes. "That was the day I had my last first kiss."

The joy in Emma's expression, a woman totally in love with her husband, was absolutely priceless and Beth was loathe to break the moment but the couple seemed to have forgotten they weren't alone in the room. "I don't suppose I get to see this wonderful present?"

Adrian and Emma broke the intense stare between them and he chuckled. "Sorry Beth. Your sister is such a distraction sometimes."

Emma rolled her eyes but declined to comment and watched as he turned the frame around so Beth could see. It was exactly what he hoped for - a rainbow refracting through one of the icicles near a small waterfall at Great Falls National Park. "A one in a million shot, right?"

He stared at the image and shook his head. "Wow. Incredible. I can't believe I actually got it. Or that I forgot about that totally." Adrian locked gazes with his wife again. "I must've had something else really important on my mind." She blushed and he hugged her against his side. "Thank you honey, so much."

Beth was just about to suggest they head into the kitchen for dinner when the front door opened and a voice she hadn't heard in too many months called out, "Smells great in here. Is there room for one more?"

She gasped and ran full speed into her husband's arms, locking him into the tightest embrace she could manage. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming home?" she demanded, right before he completely stole her breath with a kiss so passionate it probably shouldn't've occurred with other people around. But he hadn't seen his wife since the beginning of summer and didn't care that they had an audience.

When Chris finally released her he brushed his knuckles down her cheek. "It wouldn't have been a surprise if I did." He couldn't bear to let go yet and hugged her. "I missed you so much honey." Another kiss was needed after that, a way to say so much he couldn't find a way to put into words with the lump in his throat and his heart beating out of his chest. He was finally home and nothing could top that feeling.

They eventually looked away from each other to see Adrian and Emma standing at the doorway to the livingroom, Sophia sitting in Adrian's arms and observing all the fuss. Chris blew out a breath and reluctantly released his wife to focus on his daughter. "Hi sweetie." He swallowed hard and blinked back tears. "Do you remember me?"

Sophia smiled shyly and cuddled close to her uncle's chest. Adrian knelt down and Chris did the same, not wanting to tower over her. He set the little girl on the floor and whispered, "Go see Daddy Hope."

She hesitated, then toddled carefully across the floor and fell into Chris's waiting arms. "Dada."

He closed his eyes and cradled her carefully as he stood. "Yeah baby, Daddy's home." Kissing her soft curls he breathed in that sweet baby scent and savoured her warm little body against him. "Look at you. You've gotten so big Soph. Pictures just aren't the same honey, but I bet the guys got tired of how many times I showed them off." Chris choked on tears that men weren't supposed to cry but no one could blame him after being separated from his family and not being certain if he'd return. There were no guarantees when one worked in a war zone. He held out one arm to Beth and the three of them just stood in that private circle, soaking in all the time they'd missed.

To give them some privacy Adrian and Emma retreated back into the livingroom and took a seat on the couch. She pulled his arm around her and smiled. "That's how I knew I could trust Chris with my sister, from the way he looked at her after his first deployment when they were dating. I'd never seen anything like it and I knew he'd love her until the end of time."

Adrian caressed her cheek, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "Then I'm glad to be part of this family. Because you know I look at you the same way and I'm never going to stop."

Closing her eyes in thankfulness Emma rested her head on her husband's chest, basking in the glow of another Christmas miracle.

_Replies:_

_Guest - thank you, that's nice to hear. And I appreciate your understanding. Sometimes real life gets in the way of fanfiction and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm glad you're enjoying the story! ~Aliyah_

_:Loved it...It's been a while but it was worth the wait. Please update when you have the time._

_Guest #2 - thank you :) I'm glad you think they're worth waiting for because I'm not always sure. But it's nice to hear. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - Yeah, it is nice to see them get a break and just get to be themselves, I'm always glad for those opportunities. Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you liked the chapter! ~Aliyah_


	28. 8x12 Recruited 3

_A/N: This chapter was really, really hard to get finished and I do apologize that the length is not up to par. I'm sorry for the delay but life has been crazy since August and time for writing has only been sparsely available and when it was I couldn't always focus on MIT. I appreciate your patience. Just a note, many of the descriptions of Tony and Ziva's activities on St. Martin Island have been taken directly from the official website and also borrowed from the blog of a student who lives there. I've tried to make them my own but there's only so many ways to say certain things so I wanted to give credit where credit is due. I hope you enjoy this next installment. I'll update when I can but at this point I can't promise to keep to a schedule. Thank you! ~Aliyah_

**Sunday December 26** \- Day 3

Their second official morning of vacation was also begun by sleeping later than sunrise but quite unexpectedly Tony found the bed empty of his other half when he woke. Rubbing his eyes, he squinted at the place where she'd lain very recently based on the barely lingering warmth of the sheets. He cast his gaze to the pillow and nightstand, but there was no note indicating she'd been unable to let go of a well-established routine and was currently jogging around their part of the island. Turning on his back, Tony's ears caught a sound which must've drawn him out of slumber and a roguish smile crossed his lips. So that's where she was.

Throwing off the vestiges of sleep as easily as he threw back the covers, he jumped out of bed and moved eagerly towards the bathroom. Ziva was standing in the open shower area underneath a soft rainfall of water, looking extremely alluring and Tony leaned against the doorframe, taking full advantage of the opportunity to appreciate his wife's body. It wasn't often he got to just stare at her naked form. Usually when they shared the shower there was the necessity of getting clean and then they had other priorities like making out. And though they did spend a great deal of naked time in bed, it was usually covered by sheets and in the dark. But now that he had the chance he wasn't going to waste it.

Even with her eyes closed Ziva could feel the heat of his gaze. "You are staring," she murmured.

He grinned. "It's a husband's right."

She cracked open one eye. "Like what you see Tony?"

"Oh yeah." She truly was gorgeous in every way and Tony hoped he told her that enough.

Ziva made no secret of her own perusal, his body as bare as hers considering their pre-bedtime activity the night before. "Are you waiting for an invitation?"

Tony shrugged. "Maybe."

"You have never needed one before."

"Sometimes guys like to be asked. I wouldn't want you to think I'm easy."

"Tony," she purred, sliding one hand down her side.

His eyes followed the path each waterdrop traveled over her curves and couldn't pretend indifference any longer. He made it to her in three strides across the bathroom and pulled her close. "Do you enjoy teasing me Ziva?" he whispered roughly.

"Oh, immensely," she replied, her hands mapping his chest and arms as she drew him under the water with her.

Tony groaned and claimed her mouth firmly, aching with desire already and it hadn't even been twelve hours since the last time they'd been intimate. It was impossible to hide and Ziva chuckled throatily. "Already ahava? Vacation seems to be having a...stimulating effect on you."

"Vacation has nothing to do with it," he stated bluntly, tasting her lips again and kissing a trail down her neck. "The company, however..." He hit just the right spot and Ziva moaned, sending coherent thought flying out the open door.

Quite a bit later after they'd no doubt used up more than their share of water in enjoyable shower-related physical pursuits, Tony and Ziva were seated at the breakfast bar snacking on fresh fruit and leftovers from the previous days' dinner. Conversation was soft, spoken in little more than a whisper as they enjoyed a 'morning after' meal similar to the young lovers he hoped they'd always act like. And as much as he'd been completely satisfied by his wife, the fact that she apparently felt no compulsion to put on anything besides the towel wrapped around her body was throwing off Tony's ability to think clearly when each movement revealed tempting strips of tan skin he itched to run his fingers over.

Finally he couldn't help it and brushed said fingers across her thigh. Ziva put her hand over his and smirked. "If you keep that up we were never going to get out of here today."

Cocking his head and pretending to think about it, he sighed dramatically and reluctantly removed his hand. "While I would have absolutely no problem with that idea, I did have something in mind for us to try." One eyebrow rose as she waited to hear the answer. "How do you feel about snorkeling?"

Her eyes lit up like they'd been doing a lot since they arrived. "I have never tried it. But the water is so clear here, I am sure it would be amazing."

It was his turn to be surprised. "Seven years of crazy ninja missions all over the world and you've never tried snorkeling?"

A brief shadow flickered through her gaze and was gone. "There was not a lot of leisure time. When we went sailing Michael, Ari and I were more about speed swimming contests and seeing who could hold their breath the longest rather than enjoying the underwater wildlife."

Tony wished he hadn't made light of her past but there was no censure in her expression. "Well then m'lady, you are in for a treat." He glanced over her attire. "But unless you're planning on giving everyone else a show, you might want to put on something other than a towel for this venture."

Throwing a grape at him, Ziva rolled her eyes and sauntered slowly towards the bedroom, evading all his attempts to touch her as payback for the comment, and slipped into a silky coral coloured bikini that tied up behind her back and required neat bows on each side of the bottoms as well. Tony swallowed hard and cleared his throat when he took her in, the first thing coming to mind was how much fun untying all of those soft strips would be. "Uh...how many new suits did you buy?" _And when? _They were rarely apart long enough for her to go shopping without him noticing.

She put on a sweet smile. "That, tesoro, is for me to know and you to discover."

"Find out," he muttered, correcting her on autopilot. But despite the consequences he was sure it would bring, the urge to dig through her suitcase and get the answer for himself was almost overwhelming.

Ziva followed his gaze and rightfully determined his thoughts in that uncanny way she had. "You could, I suppose. However, do you not think it would be more exciting to see new outfits with me in them?"

She had a point. Tony approached slowly and kissed her the same way, his hands drifting to all the warm, exposed tan skin. "You have a point there," he managed, tearing himself away. Every time he looked at his wife he had to remind himself why leaving their room was necessary.

Renting the equipment for their activity was easy, available right on the hotel grounds, and then the couple made their way to Plum Bay which had touted itself as being secluded and not often visited. Which made him wonder if everyone who read that description had to see for themselves, would it still count as not often visited? But regardless, the beach did live up to what was written - golden sand and water every shade of blue imaginable. It fit the peaceful theme Tony was going for on their trip as well as being just wild enough to feel like an adventure.

Donning their masks and flippers, Tony and Ziva waded out into the warm water and started swimming. Fifty feet out from the beach things began to get interesting as a skittish school of blue and brown fish crossed their path and quickly reversed directions. They spotted a sea turtle gliding effortlessly through the water, then some curious blue, yellow, and white striped fish came close enough almost for them to touch. In addition to marine life the colourful coral reef itself was quite fascinating to explore. They were so interested in the formations that they almost missed a spotted manta ray flying gracefully through its' habitat. Remembering what the ones at the aquarium had felt like Ziva wanted to touch a wild one as well, but Tony's focus was more on the deadly tail stinger and he encouraged her away from that pursuit.

They lasted for half an hour of actual snorkeling before doing away with the mouthpieces and actually diving under to get a closer look at everything. Ziva's highlight was the starfish they found resting on a bed of sea grass while Tony didn't think much could top swimming underwater with his wife, holding her hand and watching the way she moved. That is, until Ziva dragged him down to the bottom sans mask and kissed him in such a way that she literally stole his breath. Tony couldn't stop grinning when they surfaced and it was an action he felt compelled to repeat several times over the course of the afternoon.

Finally the couple slogged back to the shallows, smiling from ear to ear and pleasantly tired from the exertion. They lazed about on the beach for awhile, letting the sun's hot rays dry their skin. At last Ziva turned to him and propped her head up on one elbow. "I think it is time for my massage."

He chuckled and twisted his head to look at her. "Not that I mind offering, because you're usually naked and that works for me, but it's customary to say please."

She shook her head slightly. "I do not need to say please when you owe me, only if I was asking out of the green."

Tony snorted. "Out of the blue. And this does seem like one of those times."

"Did you forget you owe me one?"

His brow furrowed. "Since when?"

There was a slight hesitation before she answered. "Since you lost the game of assassin hide and find."

He'd given up trying to get her to call the game by its proper name, kind of like googling and needlestack and sleep party. Her idiom issue was just one other thing he loved about her and he didn't really want to change all of it. But he had genuinely forgotten about the bet, because for weeks he'd been doing his best to leave everything about Eli's visit in the past so it couldn't affect their now anymore. "Oh," Tony replied a bit quieter, "that."

Ziva had no intention of dwelling on the circumstances surrounding why she'd won, but she did plan on cashing in her prize. Waiting a moment for her husband to get over the memory, she stood and offered her hand. He took it, bringing her close enough to caress her lips with his, and followed her back to their rented bungalow. They decided on a quick shower first to wash off sand and ocean salt, and while undressing Tony took great pleasure in pulling open each bow to watch the swimsuit fall away from her body.

Shortly after, clean, warm and more relaxed than they'd been in so long he wasn't sure there'd been another time like this, Tony fulfilled his end of the bargain - rubbing and kneading and massaging every inch of his wife's back, even working a little bit on her arms and legs as a bonus. She fell asleep right near the end, causing him to be pretty proud of his skills, and he joined her for a brief nap, keeping with the 'clothing optional' theme she'd agreed to. When he woke up Tony couldn't seem to stop touching her, it was just too tempting, and the gentle dance of his fingers all over her skin gradually drew Ziva from sleep.

"Hi," she murmured, sleepy and adorable.

Tony leaned over to kiss her. "Hi."

Ziva yawned. "Were you trying to start something?" She could be in the mood if needed, but right now she couldn't summon the energy needed for sex.

He shrugged one shoulder. "Not really. Not yet. I just can't get enough of this."

"What?"

His fingers combed through her hair. "This - touching you, kissing, being close. No trauma, no need to hide, nothing that's going to tear us away from each other. I've just been laying here feeling your skin on mine and thinking how thankful I am for everything about our lives right now."

The sentiment brought tears to her eyes and she fit their lips together, expressing the emotion in her heart a better way than using words. Eventually Tony put a little space between them and ran his finger over the back of her knee where there was a thin white line. It was high time for stories about scars that had nothing to do with Africa. "What happened here?"

She craned her neck to confirm it was not one of the marks she'd received during captivity. "I fell in a barbed wire fence once."

Amusement sparkled in his expression. "Is there a story there?"

"There is. But it is not one I am telling now."

"Aw, come on Zi."

She was resolute. "No. Pick something else."

Tony brought her hand to his skin. "Your turn."

Ziva knew her husband's body well, had catalogued each line and muscle many times, but they'd never done this before. She nudged him onto his back and studied his chest carefully, graceful fingers swirling delicately through his chest hair. A small indentation under his ribs caught her attention. "This one."

He chuckled. "That is the consequence of not listening to my mother." One eyebrow arched, requesting the rest of the story. Tony stuffed a pillow behind his head. "I had chicken pox when I was seven. I don't remember how long I had it or even how I caught the disease, just that it was itchy as heck and Mom must've told me about five hundred times not to scratch the pox or they could leave a scar." He traced the spot. "You can see how well I followed instructions."

Her lips caressed the mark and Tony used her position to scan for more ideas. His thumb grazed her earlobe. "I can probably guess, but tell me anyways."

Ziva shifted onto her side, leaving her head on her husband's stomach and making eye contact with him. "Ima allowed me to get my ears pierced when I was six, despite Eli's reluctance. A year later when Tali was three something I did or didn't do made her angry so she grabbed one of the earrings and yanked hard." She winced in memory. "Defiant toddlers can have a surprising amount of strength. She managed to tear it right out of my ear. I was shocked and it hurt and I am pretty sure I slapped her." Ziva smirked. "Luckily Ima got between us before more damage could be done. The healing took a long time and the hole grew back in. I believe it was three months before I could get it re-pierced."

"So you looked like a pirate for awhile?" He teased. "That would be a cute look on you."

His wife rolled her eyes. "I wore my hair in such a way as to cover my ears until it could be fixed. I think my favourite part about the incident was Tali finally getting in trouble for once. Usually I got blamed for problems she caused." She wrinkled her nose. "The small ones always look so innocent."

Tony laughed out loud and laid a sound kiss on her indignant mouth. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'd let you get away with anything."

The expression she donned should've concerned him. "Is that so Agent DiNozzo?"

He grabbed her hand and pressed his lips to her rings. "Try not to test that declaration too far babe. If you accidentally murder one of the newbie agents who don't know better than to get fresh with you, I'm not sure I can totally cover it up."

Though he was not in any way being serious, a shadow crossed her face as the mention of accidental murder brought back the case where the younger brother of a drug dealer died in her care and how her word on what happened had not been trusted by their boss. She wished she had the courage to ask now why he'd made everything so difficult for her that day, but sometimes Ziva thought she didn't want to know the answer.

Tony watched the emotions swirling through her eyes and frowned. "Zi?"

His voice broke through her reverie and she shook it all away. "Is it my turn again?"

He wanted to find out what was just going on in her head, but seeing how fast the mood had changed he opted to leave it alone for the moment. "Yeah, sure."

Ziva continued her perusal and found an old mark on his side similar to those she bore from the camp. Her gaze flew to his. "This is a stab wound."

Tony leaned forward to kiss away her concern. "A very old one. Rookie cop mistake, let a junkie get the drop on me. Spent a couple days in the hospital, still in one piece."

The brevity of his story was not comforting but she didn't get the chance to ask for more details because he returned to his study of her body. Slowly he ran his hand down her thigh and Ziva's eyes fluttered closed at his touch, always so gentle and yet completely possessive, a reminder that she was his in case that fact could ever be forgotten. His fingers stopped mid-way. "I know a bullet scar when I see one." Tony's eyebrows drew together and he cleared his throat. "How-uh, how many times have you been shot?"

She intertwined their fingers but left them in place on her leg. "Three."

He stared at her with something undefinable in his gaze and finally looked down. "That's...I guess that number is less than I expected, considering..."

Considering Mossad and her past before him. "Four, if you count the undercover serial case."

When she wasn't more forthcoming Tony tipped his head. "Zi..."

Ziva sighed. "The second time I was short Ari was my partner. If he hadn't been, I might've died." His breath hitched but she continued. "He had to do emergency battlefield surgery to save my life." She tightened her grip. "The bullet nicked my femoral artery."

Tony shuddered and closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about what could've happened, the amount of times he could have lost her before he even knew her. But these were the stories they needed to share, things they should know not only about their partner but about their spouse. "And the others?"

"Through and through to my shoulder early in my career. The doctor was very good, there is hardly a mark. Then a deep graze to my forearm. It had to be stitched but it was not overly serious."

Stifling a sigh, Tony told himself that only his wife the former assassin would think getting grazed by a bulled was not overly serious. There was no point in saying such a thing out loud, she'd just brush it off anyways. And besides, it was her turn again.

"Turn over," Ziva commanded, exploring his muscles with undisguised glee. She did so appreciate her husband's body and the effort he made to keep himself in shape. Lingering kisses trailed a path down his spine until Tony squirmed.

"Not part of the game honey."

She smiled against his skin. "But it would make this more fun, yes?"

"Soon," he managed in a strangled tone.

Ziva sighed disappointedly. "Fine. But it is your loss." It didn't take long for her to find what looked like a rope burn very low down on his back. She lightly skimmed one finger over it. "This looks interesting."

Tony reached back to grab her hand before she got any naughty ideas and turned over again. "Eighth birthday party. My parents went all out - clowns, balloons, pony ride - the whole shebang. And it just so happened that I got stuck with the orneriest animal of the lot. He didn't like me from the first meeting and when I was dismounting he made a sudden move. My foot got stuck in the stirrup and I fell, tangled in the lead rope somehow, then he took off. Dragged me a good hundred feet before something got in his way. Clearly left an impression." He shrugged one shoulder. "That's why I just assumed that horses and I would never get along." He brought her palm to his lips. "Really glad you proved me wrong on that count."

The kissing didn't stop with her hand and Tony, having clearly decided to give up the game of show and tell, worked his way down her body, building her anticipation for what was to come. He paused at her inner thigh and traced the brushstroke heart tattoo she had in memory of her sister, settling his lips gently on the spot. "I like this one best of all."

She frowned. "That is not a scar Tony."

He looked up at her. "Yes it is. Because no one can see the one on your heart."

Against her will her eyes welled up with tears and Tony quickly captured her lips, overwhelming her with a passion that was just as much about moving them into intimacy as it was to distract her from an old grief. He made love to her slowly and tenderly, kissing away every tear that fell and surrounding her with the depth of their love. As much as she wanted to return the favour to him more than she had the chance, Ziva knew she would never, ever get tired of the way he cherished her.

**NCIS**

**Monday December 27** \- Day 4

"This was a good idea," Ziva commented as she walked ahead of him, taking in the sights.

From where he was with a fantastic view of her toned posterior, Tony had to agree with her. An hour later hiking to the top of Paradise peak, the island's highest point at fourteen hundred feet, didn't seem quite as fun and he was starting to lag behind. "It's hotter than I thought it would be," he complained, wiping his face again. "Is there any water left?"

She shook her head with a smile and handed back one of the water bottles. "We are not in the desert, nor likely to die of thirst. Stop being so dramatic."

"It's steep," he groused, dragging his feet. "I'm hungry."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Do you know who you sound like?"

"A husband wishing he was back at sea level?"

"No. You sound like that little boy in the movie we watched with the children last month. What was it - _Out_? _Over_?" She glanced back at his blank expression. "The one with the floating house and balloons."

"Oh, _Up_." Tony pursed his lips, about to argue her point when he recalled a litany of unhappiness from the young boy that did compare with his. He cleared his throat. "I mean, I love hiking."

Her laughter didn't really help his mood, but the kiss she brushed to his unsuspecting mouth certainly did. Then she gasped and pointed to a stand of trees ahead. "Is that a monkey?"

He followed her finger and nodded, grabbing the camera to zoom in for a close up. Once the shutter clicked the primate disappeared and Ziva's face fell. A moment later though excitement flashed in her eyes. "Oh look Tony, mango trees."

She caught his interest with that observation. "Food?"

"We ate before we left," his wife reminded him.

"Yeah, but that was over an hour ago," he felt compelled to point out.

"Do not worry Tony, I will save you." Selecting a ripe fruit, she pulled a knife from her pocket and flipped it open, cutting a slice for him and one for herself. "Here."

Tony took it, gazing at her warily. "Where did you get that knife?"

Her brow furrowed. "It is mine."

He licked his lips. "Yeah, but what is it doing here?"

Ziva stared at him curiously. "Did you expect me to come without any weapons at all?"

The way she said it made him chuckle but not in a funny way and he scraped his fingers through his hair. "Okay, we're clearly not on the same page. What I'm really asking is how the heck did you get it through airport security?!"

"Oh that." She made it sound like no big deal. "Mossad sometimes is required to use domestic flights for travel. Missions are secret, it cannot be known that there are government agents on board. So smuggling weapons becomes a rather...creative endeavour."

He frowned. "I don't want to know, do I?"

She smirked. "Probably not. Shall we continue?"

Taking a bite of the surprisingly juicy mango piece, Tony sighed. "Absolutely."

His mood improved when they pressed on side by side and after awhile he was able to find beauty in the lush tropical vegetation even if he wasn't as much of a nature lover as his other half. The trail wound through forest and meadows and he was totally thrown off to discover that bananas grew upside down. "Really? How did I not know that?"

Ziva leaned into him. "I doubt you have come into contact with many banana trees in your lifetime ahava, considering the climate on Long Island, in Ohio and DC."

"Still." He rubbed the back of his neck. "You'd think someone would've told me. Did you know?"

She laughed lightly. "Yes. But I have spent time in many more hot countries than you."

"Geez, I'm really missing out."

"Stick with me kid, and you'll go places," Ziva intoned.

Tony wrapped his arm around her waist. "Nice try babe."

Her expression was puzzled. "Is that not a movie quote?"

He kissed the side of her head. "It's actually the punchline to a kid's joke - what did the stamp say to the envelope? But variations have been used in tens of movies and TV shows, so you know what? I'll give it to you."

"Thank you."

The scenery at the top was as good as the brochure said, featuring sweeping panoramic views over all of St. Martin Island as well as several neighbouring ones. It was amazing to see the ocean spread out around them in all directions. For a long time they stood on the platform and enjoyed the scenery, then they made their way to the start of the zipline course - which Ziva was thrilled to be trying while Tony's feelings bordered more on terrified, and he didn't even have McGeek's fear of heights.

The instructor made sure they got strapped in properly for the forty-five minute ride on a variety of zip-lines suspended high above the private forest reserve that would have them soaring between hundred year old trees, among other things. His wife went first and when it came to Tony's turn, he learned right away that jumping off was the scariest part. However, as soon as he was on his way and literally flying through the air supported only by a thin strap who knew how many feet above the trees, so many different thoughts assailed him. What if they ran into something on the other side? Would they splat like _George of the Jungle_? If he got stuck somewhere in the middle could they find a way to rescue him? How long did it take leather gloves to burn through at this pace? Everyone always said to anyone intimidated by heights 'Don't look down'. Did they realize how impossible it was not to look down when you thought you might be facing your imminent death? What were the statistics on death as a result of ziplining anyway?

Then he heard Ziva's voice in his head teasing him for being overly dramatic and that calmed his fears enough for him to really savour the breathtaking experience. His final thought at the end was, _That was completely awesome! We should do it again! _Which of course he wanted to do even more when Ziva met him and jumped into his arms, still trembling from the adrenaline rush. He was probably certifiably insane, but to keep that grin on her face he agreed to do the extreme adventure course at Loterie Farm involving tightropes and obstacles high up in the trees as well.

Tony was pretty worn out by the time they finished everything and more than ready to collapse into a wicker chair at the Hidden Forest Café to sip cocktails while they snacked on tapas and he shared the curry chicken that was recommended to Ziva. Finally they were ready to go and he seriously considered skipping the last part of the day, but it actually fit right in with their current state of tiredness. So he rented a small motor boat to take them the short, half-mile trip out to the tiny, secluded island of Green Caye. They managed to have the beach to themselves and it was exactly as advertised - a place to get away from it all.

After securing their boat and grabbing the towels brought specifically for this, the couple found a nice sheltered area shaded by a lovely overhanging tree. Laying down, Tony found a comfortable position and closed his eyes. Ziva snuggled up to his chest and pressed a kiss to his neck. "You have done a wonderful job planning our vacation Tony, thank you."

His arm came around her and he nuzzled her hair. "I love to see you smile Zi." For too long it had been a rare sight, she was making up for it now.

Warm, relaxed, and pleasantly drained from the day's activities, Tony and Ziva fell asleep and it was nothing but peaceful dreams.

_MIT Replies:_

_Guest - thank you, I'm glad you liked the chapter. Feeling better than last week but still coughing, tired, and my brain is a bit fried which makes concentration difficult. May be a couple weeks before I can update so I'm glad you think it's worth the wait. I really appreciate that. Thanks for taking time to leave a review! :) ~Aliyah_

_Jhessill - really? That's awesome, I take tears as a compliment :) Very sweet review, thank you. I'm glad you think so. I appreciate the review! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - thank you. More than one person mentioned Gibbs' softer side. I hadn't really thought about it that way but I guess he is with Celeste. I suppose we all need someone who gets under our skin like that. I don't know anything about NCIS now, I like to stick with my happy little post-S11 world. Aww, thanks. It's always nice when an OC scene is one people enjoy. I particularly loved writing that moment for the reunited family. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Replies for other stories:_

_Guest (Elevator Honesty Ch 2) - Thank you! I'm really gland you liked EH. It's been years since I've thought of this story so it was nice to get a review for it. Aw, that's so sweet, thanks. It's such an honour to make it on anyone's favourite's list. I think I've got a few stories left in me. I'll be here as long as God allows and grants the inspiration to write. Thanks for commenting! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest (This Time Around Ch 4) - Thank you. It was a bit of a departure to me so I'm glad people seemed to enjoy it. I never got very far into the future with this one. I'm sure maybe once, yeah, they went back to DC and introduced A&amp;A to the team. It would definitely give the DC side a chance to see what they missed out on. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest #2 (TTA Ch 5) - Thank you :) What a lovely comment. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Me too, wouldn't that just be the best? I doubt we'll ever get a Tiva reunion but that's why we have FF! :) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Debbie (TTA Ch 5) - Thanks Debbie, I'm glad you liked it. I can't take credit for the idea. God dropped that one in my brain months ago. Started with the pic of Z sitting on Kensi's desk and T walking in to see her and went from there. I wish it could have happened like this. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Patti (TTA Ch 5) - Thank you. Well, I actually never really gave the DC side another thought personally. But T just wanted to make a clean break of it, nothing to hold him back. And plus, the communication thing works both ways. If they really wanted, they could've reached out too. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest #1 (Tonight, Tomorrow, and the Day After Ch 3) - Thanks. I'm glad you think it was well done. No, I'm pretty sure I marked it as complete. No plans to continue. Just a glimpse at what could be for Densi :) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Guest #2 (TTATDA Ch 3) - Thanks, that's sweet of you to say. I'm glad you think so. I'm not sure that I'll do anything else with K&amp;D, this may have been a one time deal. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	29. 8x12 Recruited 4

_A/N: For information on their first activity (and I have never before put so much research into one section of one chapter, I just became so enthralled with the experience that it distracted me for awhile) I read through hundreds of reviews on TripAdvisor and was given assistance by email from the owner of the shop. Having never done something like this before myself I relied heavily on and even took some things word for word from the reviews of others. If that counts as plagiarism I confess and apologize upfront, I did my best. Apologies again for the delay of this chapter. It never fails to amaze me how something that was supposed to be a small part can grow to take over most of a chapter. I hope it's not too much information and that nobody gets too bored reading that part. If you don't want an in depth explanation of the experience, I suggest you skip to the second section about two-thirds of the way down. Thanks so much for your support guys, I appreciate the readers who are sticking around despite my inconsistent posting schedule. Much love ~Aliyah_

**Tuesday December 28** \- Day 5

The next morning the couple woke early despite their strenuous yesterday and lay comfortably cuddled together among the light blue sheets and clean white cover, Tony twirling one of her messy curls around his finger. "So Adrian and Emma are leaving today."

She smoothed her hand down his chest. "What time is their flight?"

He wracked his brain for the detail. "Later this afternoon I think? Then almost twenty-four hours of travel time." He winced. "I don't envy them that. And they lose a whole day to the time difference."

"Someday they will invent a faster way of getting around the world."

Tony kissed the top of her head. "Teleportation maybe, but don't believe everything you see on TV."

Ziva stretched luxuriously. "I wish we could take this bed home with us. It is so cozy."

"The hotel management has great taste in furnishings," he agreed. "I think our mattress has a few years to go before it needs to be replaced though."

"There is nothing wrong with our bed," she defended, then glanced up at him. "How long?"

Tony shrugged. "Some people say eight, others ten. I guess it depends."

"So we are halfway there." Ziva contemplated the timeline. "Perhaps for our ten year anniversary we can come back here and buy this one from them."

"Like it that much?" he chuckled.

She rolled on top of him. "I suppose it could have something to do with who is sharing the bed with me."

Sweet but heated kisses delayed his thought process significantly. "Maybe for our ten years as partners. That's...right in the middle."

"Hmm." Ziva was too busy peppering his torso with tiny kisses to pay any attention, but he took it as a yes and grabbed her face between his hands, stealing her breath with the intensity of his mouth.

Not too much later she sat up and leaned back on the fluffy pillow using the sheet for modesty. "How shall we spend today?"

Tony brushed his lips over the back of her fingers. "I thought we'd start with a leisurely breakfast and some quality time on the beach. And then..." his eyes twinkled. "This is actually one of my favourites out of everything that's booked for the week."

Intrigued, she slid her fingers into his hair. "Do tell."

He grinned. "But surprises are so much more fun."

"Not everything has to be a surprise you know," Ziva pointed out, examining her fingernails. She'd chipped a couple during their travels the day before and wanted to fix them if they were going someplace nice.

"I'll tell if you want," Tony offered, willing to compromise.

A small smile claimed her lips and she shook her head. "I would not ruin your fun. Do I need to wear anything in particular?" He'd made strong recommendations the last two times they'd gone out.

His mouth covered hers gently. "Wear something that makes you feel beautiful Zi, but comfortable. I know I'll love the result."

Ziva caressed his cheek. "I love you."

"Ani ohev atach," he replied, moving to get up. They let the sand, sun, and sound of ocean waves work their magic for a couple hours, then changed out of beachwear and met their taxi on the road outside the hotel.

The drive to their destination wasn't long and when they stepped out of the van in front of a clean, sharp looking building labeled 'Parfumerie et Boutique' in large letters with 'Tijon' above the doorway, Ziva gasped. "Oh Tony."

He glanced at her. "What? You don't even know what it is yet."

She blinked quickly, his thoughtfulness inspiring a wealth of emotions. "Yes, I do. I read about this when I looked into St. Martin. But I did not think you would be interested. Are we...doing one of their classes?"

Tony slung his arm around her waist and pulled her close. "Of course Zi. I wouldn't bring you here just to tease you."

Ziva placed her hand on his chest. "I know. I just did not think it would be very high on your want to do list."

He bit back a comment that would've ruined the moment. "It's our vacation babe, what I want is to spend as much quality time with you as possible. And as soon as I found this I knew you would love it." He guided her towards the entrance. "What woman wouldn't want the chance to make her own custom perfume?"

She stopped under the overhang. "It is my turn for an I love you reason ahava - I love you for your selflessness. For putting my desires ahead of what you could be doing. Toda raba yakiri."

Tony kissed her palm, his heart swelling at the confession. "Sweetheart, you are most welcome."

Walking through the door they encountered a very warm and comforting scent that invited them further into the aesthetically pleasing shop. Both took a deep breath in, savouring the amazing aromas, and felt instantly at ease as soothing classical music flowed around them. The inside of the building was bright and cheery, creative displays showcasing a variety of products and gifts. There was so much to take in that they just stood still for several moments and let their eyes wander.

A brown haired man with an easy smile finished assisting some people at the counter and approached them. "Hi. Welcome to Tijon. I'm John Berglund."

"Thank you," Ziva smiled. "I'm Ziva DiNozzo and this is my husband, Tony."

He lifted her fingers, sweeping a soft kiss across the backs. "Husband. I really like that word." And he loved when she called herself by his name, no hyphen even. Very little made him prouder.

The man chuckled. "Newlyweds?"

Tony slid his arm around her. "Always. We've learned to cherish every day."

"A wise man," their host commented.

Tearing his eyes away from his wife, he cleared his throat. "Nice to meet you John. We spoke over email a few weeks ago."

A tanned woman joined him, her chestnut hair pulled back in a clip. "This is my wife, Cyndi. We're delighted you could make this part of your vacation."

Ziva's eyes skipped around the boutique, eager to look more closely. "I'm fluent in French Mr. Berglund, but I do not recognize the name of this shop. Where did it come from?"

"John, please," he corrected. "My son Tyler played an integral part in creating the parfumerie concept as a young man. Tijon is a combination of both our names."

Cyndi could see that Ziva wanted to explore and smiled. "Why don't you take a look around while we wait for the others to arrive?"

They accepted her invitation and began browsing the gift shop area. The selection was amazing. Aside from their signature perfume lines, the shelves also sported handcrafted jewellery, tote bags and purses, clothing, lotions, natural skincare products, lip gloss, candles, and even products for outdoors including sunscreen and bug repellant. Previous experience with severe and unpleasant sunburns had both Tony and Ziva diligently reapplying whenever they headed down to the beach, but nothing they'd used so far had the incredible fragrance of Tijon's Caribe Baie brand.

The couple had hardly made a dent in everything there was to see, and smell, before the other members of their class showed up and the real fun began. John handed out clipboards to everyone with two sheets - one for mundane things like names and emails, the other with a list of scents from their perfume collections. "I want everyone to take their time and smell each scent on the page. This exercise will help awaken your senses. Once you narrow down which one is your favourite, mark it off and then we'll have you choose the free gift you'll be receiving upon completion of the class."

Cyndi pointed out their options. "A Tijon branded tote bag or t-shirt, A CD of island music, or one of our signature champagne flutes." Murmuring came from the women in the group who hadn't expected such a courtesy and she waved them all towards the perfume displays. "Have fun!"

And so they did. Tijon's fragrance offerings were all divine. In one of the participant's words, "I've never smelled anything more delicious in my whole life!" Ziva had to agree, each bottle smelled great and both she and Tony had a hard time narrowing it down to just one favourite. In the end she chose Très Beau, a scent that really captured the essence of the island; while Tony went with the refreshing SXM, Tijon's first fragrance for men. When all six of them had completed the assigned task, John and Cyndi gathered the students by the museum - a unique collection of perfumery items and books he'd collected over the years.

"Welcome everyone to our Perfume 101 class and congratulations on being some of the few people in the world who will discover how perfume is created and actually make your own."

Here Cyndi interjected. "And guys, you may just be here for your wives and girlfriends, but I can tell you from the experience of many other men that they have just as much fun as the women creating their own scent. If your expectations are to be politely bored for the next few hours, we hope to blow that out of the water."

"First," John began, "some trivia. Did you know that the first perfume to be marketed to women and sold worldwide was Chanel No. 5 introduced by clothing designer Coco Chanel? Before 1921, all the perfumes were unisex. The difference is women's perfumes are usually heavily floral while men's colognes are woodsy or musky. Now it's more of a marketing term. Men don't want to buy perfumes so they call it cologne or eau de toilette. And eau de Cologne was first presented by an Italian, Giovanni Farina in 1709 when he was living in Cologne, Germany."

Tony grinned at the Italian part and bent close to Ziva whispering, "Now I'll have something else to add to the list for McGee of what my people have accomplished." She just rolled her eyes and focused back on their guides.

Cyndi took over to give them a brief history of how fragrance use had evolved from thousands of years ago to present day, then the couple led them all to the Perfume Organ - a multi-shelved stand very reminiscent of the musical instrument. "Perfumes are created from base oils, which are extracted from raw materials including flowers, leaves, roots, fruits, seeds, herbs, etc. There are over 3000 possible ingredients in the plant world, and Tijon has a collection of over 300 oils on hand."

"Wow." Tony stared at the rows upon rows of labeled little brown jars behind her and began to feel a bit overwhelmed.

"We have everything from the traditional flower fragrances to citrus scents like lemon, lime, and bergamot - which is one of the signature ingredients in Earl Grey tea." Ziva smiled at that, thinking of the subtle scent and flavour of her favourite blend. "There's more earthy scents like cedarwood and sage, as well as spicy options such as black pepper oil. Tomato is one of our more popular oils, adding freshness to perfume. Green tea and pink grapefruit help cut through the sweetness if you prefer coconut or more tropical scents." The list went on, including the twelve pre-mixed oils they had available for beginning perfumers, leaving Ziva very glad she'd done some research on her own before they came. Not that she'd expected to attend a class, but once she'd read about making perfume she'd gotten curious about the effect of certain scents and now had a very good idea of what she'd like to have in her fragrance.

John took over and taught them about the art of making perfume. "All oils are rated on how quickly they evaporate. Top oils evaporate the quickest and are top notes in perfumes, often something citrus. If we made perfume only out of lime oil it would smell nice but disappear within ten minutes. Middle oils are the heart of the perfume and typically floral notes. If we made perfume only out of rose oil it would smell wonderful but disappear in twenty to thirty minutes." Rose oil sounded elegant and old fashioned and Ziva's mind was momentarily distracted by the memory of a recently read novel set in eighteenth century England before she tuned back into the class.

"Because of those factors we have to mix in the heavier smelling base oils - like patchouli - that anchor the perfume and allow it to linger for hours after applied." He reached for a small bottle and unscrewed the lid, taking it around so they all had the chance to get a whiff. It reminded Tony of wet soil, though Ziva likened it to a cold, dark, moist basement. "Other popular base oils include sandalwood, oak moss, frankincense, myrrh, vanilla, and musk." John opened another bottle and let them try it. "This is Ylang Ylang and it could be used as either a middle or base note. Although a floral from Indonesia and the Philippines, it's been described as having a smokey scent."

He expounded more on building perfume out of basic scents, how scents work together, what types work well together, and how even how they interact with different skin types. The people were so quietly engrossed that Tony wasn't sure any of them said more than a word or two for the entire hour. John's talk was fascinating and Tony enjoyed the interesting tidbits shared about the sense of smell. "Did you know that 90% of our taste is actually caused by smell? That's why food tastes flat when you have a cold."

John also shared with them how the fragrance oils were made and dropped in the compelling trivia that certain scents were actually known to cause arousal in men and women. At that part all the men leaned forward expectantly and learned that smelling pumpkin pie, lavender, and cinnamon evoked strong desires and emotions in men, while the secret to attracting and sparking romantic interest in women was the smell of cucumber, rose, and anise. Tony took some serious mental notes about that, wishing he had Ziva's photographic memory. Such knowledge was bound to come in handy for today's activity.

It was a very informative and relaxing time and then they were welcomed into the laboratory at the back of the boutique. Cyndi gestured to rows of white coats on hangers. "Please choose a lab coat. They help prevent oil spills on clothing and in general are just kind of fun to wear."

Tony could attest to that. He felt instantly professional when he slipped his arms in the sleeves, like a real chemist, and wondered if that was how they made Abby feel as well. Except that she actually had some pretty serious scientific qualifications where he was more a little boy about to play the mad scientist role for a bit.

"We're going to take a pre-test for fun," John announced, "to see what your ability to distinguish between common scents is like."

He had them test out fragrances like lemongrass, grapefruit, orange, and sandalwood. Ziva, in her way of being good at everything, got almost all of them right; whereas Tony struggled with telling the difference between more similar oils. On the whole though it was interesting and more challenging than he'd expected. John was exceptionally knowledgeable and cared dearly about the experience. His passion for perfumes was so vibrant and infectious that it made Tony forget he'd originally thought the class would be something only Ziva would like.

Cyndi handed out the 'Invent Your Scent' workbooks to each of them, chock full of useful things including lists of oils that mix easier together grouped into different scent families and beginner's recipes for a likable, fail-safe perfume. There was also in depth information on many of the topics that had already been covered and tips on composing a unique personal perfume. She explained that each custom fragrance required one pre-mixed oil, plus a top, a middle, and a base oil. With all of the options they had available the perfume making possibilities were endless.

Before they delved into their experiments the group was also taught some perfume vocabulary words. Fresh - the lightest, brightest fragrances. Crisp - lighter, sharper interpretations of a fragrance. Classic - more beautiful and traditional fragrances. Rich - deeper, richer fragrance notes. Subtle - those that blend demurely with the body's own chemistry. Full - distinctive and assertive. Pungent - a scent that fills your environment with its essence. At last the introduction was over and they were shown to their lab tables to inspect the tools.

In front of Tony and Ziva sat test tubes, glass beakers, stir sticks, eyedroppers and yellow pads of paper. "The process of creating a scent is an exact science," John warned them. "Make sure to take careful notes of what you use and in what quantities." He demonstrated by drawing a line down the center of the paper. "Names of oils go on one side and the number of drops used on the other. As you start let us reassure you that there is no right or wrong way to blend a fragrance because the sense of smell is personal for everyone."

"You basically have to go with what smells good to you," Cyndi added. "When you're picking your oils try to mix up categories. Maybe use a floral, an earthy and a citrus for example, or a spicy, a citrus and a woodsy. Try not to stay in one category, only to make your formula a little more complex."

One student put up his hand and asked what the small glass jars of coffee beans were for and Cyndi explained. "You can sniff the coffee beans between scents to clear your noses and prevent the smells from blending together. The process of sampling different scents is really more psychological than physical. Smelling something new creates a memory, so smelling something familiar resets the brain by referring it to another memory so you can better interpret new scents."

Since she'd just been wondering that very thing, how they wouldn't get confused about all the different scents after while, Ziva was glad to have the information.

John smiled warmly at them. "With all of that said, now it's your turn to be as creative as you want while making your perfume. The Organ is yours to choose from, have fun!"

Excited to begin the process of creating her own personal fragrance, Ziva was among the first to approach the Perfume Organ and begin browsing scents. Tony hung back a little, focused more on his wife's expression than on choosing his own oils. He waited until she returned with a couple small bottles clutched in her hands and glanced over, trying to see the labels. Ziva purposely turned them away from him and arched an eyebrow. "Are you trying to steal my ideas Tony?"

He chuckled. "I'm sorry, I didn't know this was such a top secret process. I have clearance you know."

She snorted. "Not for this you do not." She nodded towards the Organ. "Go pick something Tony." Something in his face or eyes must've caught her attention because her brow furrowed. "What?"

Tony drummed his fingers on the table. "It's just...you've always said how much you like what I wear for cologne. What if I make something you hate? After all, you're the one that'll smell it the most."

Ziva touched his hand. "I love the scent you always wear ahava, it had been my anchor and my comfort through many dark moments. But that does not mean you can never try anything new. I will be right here beside you the whole time. I can give you my opinion and you can give me yours, that way we each can hopefully create something both of us will enjoy, yes?"

He kissed her lips quickly. "Okay, I can work with that." He got up and approached the Perfume Organ, where John was more than happy to provide some guidance on which oils to select first. Using some personal preference and some information from the teaching session Tony rejoined his wife, noting with some amusement that she was writing in Hebrew so he had no chance of figuring out what her secret ingredients were. "Cheater," he whispered, earning himself a look. He shrugged. "It's not like there's any language I can write in that you don't know."

She smirked. "Do not worry Tony, I won't peek."

Making an exaggerated show of cupping his hand around his own notes, Tony began. Smell. Consider. Try a drop of this and a drop of that. Contemplate, try again. He sniffed everything from clover to dune grass, Frasier Fir (which smelled like a Christmas tree exploded) and eugenol (reminding him of visits to the dentist's office), to tobacco and leather. French songs filled the air, some of them ones Ziva could hum along to, while John and Cyndi circulated among the students offering suggestions when people asked and answering any questions they came up with. He never felt rushed or like the instructors were hovering, there was complete freedom to create and do things his own way.

Occasionally Ziva would hold one of her beakers out to him for an opinion, while he did the same to her. Wrinkled noses indicated something that needed to be worked on, while eyes closed in bliss signaled that the other had done something very right. The process wasn't nearly as hard as Tony had expected because they structured and broke it down in a way that made the task easy and fun. From time to time John provided helpful hints to all, especially as the hours waned and they got closer to finalizing their choices.

The participants were constantly getting up and going back and forth between the Perfume Organ and their laboratory benches as they experimented, but everyone remained remarkably focused throughout the afternoon. With the greatest of concentration Tony carefully dropped minute portions of the expensive oils into his beaker, all the while feeling like Dr. No on a Caribbean island looking to wreak some havoc. He and Ziva learned quickly that some scents smelled amazing in their little bottles but didn't mix well with the others, and others that seemed strange choices for perfume or cologne actually worked rather well in the right combination. They completely lost track of time, so absorbed in their tests and checking each other's progress. Cyndi willingly took pictures on Tony's phone of the couple hard at work and when one student threw up his hands in exasperation and said he'd never get it right, John announced with complete sincerity that he'd stay until midnight if that's what it took for them to get a scent they liked. Tony shook his head in awe. He wasn't sure he'd ever met such kind, helpful, patient people.

When they finally had their bases ready, all of them ones they both could live with in close quarters, John put a swab of each scent on different areas of their hands and wrists and sent them outside into the fresh air. "Relax, let the scents sink into your skin, then see which one you love the most."

Glad to do just that, Tony and Ziva left the buildings to stand in the warm sunshine and clear their nasal passages. After a minute or two they began wandering around and sniffing, trying to decide. Ziva knew right away which was her favourite, and it was the one she'd put the most effort into. Tony, on the other hand, found it incredibly difficult to settle on just one after everything that had gone into his creations. In desperation he held out his hands and begged for her opinion. She preferred one of them over the others but asked careful, guiding questions to make sure her husband picked his favourite and not just hers.

"What if I like it today and not tomorrow?" he lamented. "All that hard work would be down the drain."

She pulled his face down, moving her lips over his slowly. "Then you will still have had a one of a kind experience that you can tell our friends about and you can be proud of yourself for making something so special."

Tony gazed at her with blatant adoration. "That's another reason why I married you," he whispered. "To be my confidence when I'm not."

Ziva tugged him gently back inside. "It is a role I am honoured to have."

Their choices made, the couple returned to the lab and wrote the winning recipes down on clean sheets of paper, then followed the final steps on their worksheets. To complete their perfume they had to add more of each oil, distilled water, propylene glycol to help it carry on skin, and 100 percent denatured alcohol to thin out the oils. They each filed their recipes on the iPad provided, so in future they could order more of their personalized fragrances online, a service Ziva very much appreciated. Then came the hardest part - coming up with a name for their fragrances and trying to figure out how to describe it.

Since she'd been thinking about it ahead of time, Ziva dubbed her blend of vanilla, jasmine, and cinnamon _Allure_ \- warm and exotic with a hint of spice. Tony, predictably and because he could, chose to name his after one of his heroes - _Bond_ and Ziva helped with the description when he wasn't quite sure what to say. Labels were made and attached to the fragrance bottles which were then slipped into velvet pouches bearing the gold Tijon logo, it was all very official and professional. When the option was presented that Ziva could have her scent added to a lotion, she chose one of the other trials that hadn't quite made the cut but was still quite nice by itself. She couldn't think of a better souvenir to bring home.

When everyone was finished John and Cyndi provided directions for storing the perfumes and colognes - in a cool place without heat, humidity, or direct sunlight, which meant the bathroom was out. They also suggested the new fragrances should be placed in the fridge for five days. John opened a bottle of champagne, a totally unexpected but extremely gratifying way of making them feel special and accomplished. When their Certificates of Achievement had been handed out and photos taken to capture this memory forever, the class ended with a toast in elegant Tijon glasses. "Congratulations on your new fragrances. May they always remind you of St. Martin and what we hope will be an unforgettable experience for each of you."

Champagne flutes clinked all around and they enjoyed the well deserved treat. "Remember," John told them, "no two people will ever make the same scent so what you've designed today will always be unique to you." He went on to provide recommendations for nearby places to dine and gave suggestions for beaches they should visit. Getting useful information from a resident of the island was a nice bonus.

On their way out, after thanking their gracious hosts profusely, Tony and Ziva were handed gift bags filled to the brim with unexpected treats. "Thank you," she told Cyndi sincerely. "This is an experience I'll never forget."

"I'm glad to hear that," Cyndi replied. "One thing we love about this place is that people always leave here happy." She looked at Tony. "And what about you? Did you enjoy your time?"

Tony chuckled. "More than I expected to," he answered honestly. "I have a new appreciation for what goes into creating fragrances, so much more so than just buying one at a department store." His gaze settled lovingly on his wife. "But the most fun for me was watching Ziva experience it. It makes me happy when she's happy and enjoying herself, so today's another good day."

"Enjoy the rest of your vacation!" John called as they left.

Outside Ziva held up her perfume bottle again, pride radiating from her smile. "I cannot believe I made my own perfume. It feels like such an accomplishment!"

He had to agree. "I know what you mean." He was pretty proud of his creation too. "All you need now is a sexy photoshoot and look out!"

She threw back her head and laughed. "I promise I will not let the fame go to my head."

"I was serious!" Tony reiterated. "You're so much sexier than any superstar Zi." He leaned in closer. "In fact, I think you need to put that bikini back on. I want to make you my model for a St. Martin photo op. LA was way too long ago."

_In some ways_, she thought. But in other ways the memories of being separated the first time were still just under the surface. Rather than calling attention to it however, Ziva smiled coyly at him. "If that is on your wish list ahava, I believe I'm inclined to indulge a little more island fantasy."

He swept her into his arms and covered her mouth with his, claiming, tasting and exploring until they were both breathless. "In that case Mrs. DiNozzo," he managed after several moments, "I'd say we get back to our room in a hurry."

**NCIS**

They hailed a cab and were taken on a leisurely trip back to the hotel. By the time they walked in the door the ardour between them had cooled to a more manageable level and Tony was thinking coherently enough to remember they still had something else to accomplish today. With a lingering hand on his chest after storing their scents in the fridge, Ziva wandered back to the bedroom, anxious to see what was inside their gift bags. Following because he was curious too, Tony joined her on the bed as she unpacked.

Since she'd chosen the Tijon tote bag as her free gift the rest of the items were in that, while Tony's pick had been the CD of island music, so his was just a plain white Tijon bag. Inside she found a bottle of the Tijon fragrance she'd picked as her favourite from the initial exercise. She removed the lid and sniffed it again, shaking her head. "I do not know how they captured in a bottle exactly the way the air smells when you get off the plane."

He rubbed her knee. "That's why they're the experts and we're their lowly proteges."

"I cannot wait to wear this at home."

Tony chuckled. "The girls will be jealous they missed this opportunity.

"Perhaps it will give the husbands a vacation idea," she commented, pulling out more things and exclaiming over each one. There was moisturizing massage oil, "We could definitely find a use for that," Tony commented, sliding his fingers under the hem of her skirt, Caribe Baie lip balm that she immediately applied, a bar of soap set aside for use in the shower tomorrow, Carib Baie sunscreen, and a few other samples. "This was so generous of them," she said when she'd gone through everything. "After all they taught us today, more was not necessary."

"Seems to be just the kind of people they are. I'm really glad you enjoyed yourself honey." They made their way to the kitchen and Tony pulled out the last of the fruit she'd picked up when they arrived, letting her in on the second part of his plan. Leaning one hip against the counter, he bit into a ripe apricot. "How would you feel about an early supper?"

She tipped her head to the side. "What did you have in mind?"

The question brought back a good memory of them poolside at an LA hotel, unfortunately poisoned by the events that followed, but he managed a grin anyways. "You, me, a romantic beach picnic."

Ziva slid her arms over his shoulder and leaned in to taste his lips. "Mmm, that sounds like something I wouldn't want to miss."

Tony shooed her out to spend some time with her book on the balcony where a soft breeze infused the air with a warm, tropical scent while he prepared their food. Half an hour later he joined her, amused to see that his usually focused wife wasn't at all absorbed by the story, instead she read a few lines then looked up and stared at the water, a faint smile on her lips, before trying again. Or her attention would be drawn to a brightly coloured bird in the tree beside their cottage, or a butterfly floating by. Finally she leaned her head back and closed her eyes, just letting the serenity of paradise wash over her.

Tony was careful to make a little noise as he came up behind her so she wouldn't be startled. His hands cupped her shoulders and he bent to kiss her head. "Ready to go?" he murmured. Ziva glanced up and tugged him down so their lips met. He smiled against her skin. "You are so beautiful honey. I love seeing you like this."

She moved her mouth over his. "Lazy and distracted?"

Tony's fingers found a ticklish spot and she squirmed away, laughing. "No minx - relaxed, happy, content."

Ziva placed her palm on his cheek. "I am always happy with you ahava."

"But not relaxed," he pointed out.

"Sometimes," she conceded. "DC feels like...pressure, secrecy, fear. Here though...here it all melts away."

Tony considered her description. There was a way to eliminate at least some of the first two symptoms, though he didn't dare bring it up while on vacation. The third however... He perched on the edge of her lounger so they were face to face. "Why fear? Are you talking about...stuff leftover from the summer?" He endeavoured to be as innocuous as possible when referencing her time in the desert.

Her fingers trailed down the buttons on his shirt. "No, not really. That part is fading Tony. From here," she indicated her mind, "and here," touching her chest briefly for heart. "The fear is more about us being separated as partners if we are discovered, losing you in the field. And...other things."

"Such as?" he prompted gently.

"Never being able to give you-" She re-thought her words. "Not being able to make our dreams of a family come true." One shoulder lifted and dropped. "The burden is not present here. It is a nice change."

Knowing that she wanted kids too he understood why she re-worded the answer, but he couldn't help noticing that she seemed to care more about disappointing him than being unable to get pregnant for herself. Tony drew his wife close, putting his mouth right by her ear. "No matter what happens or doesn't happen, and you need to really hear me on this babe, I am always going to love you the same way, with all of my heart and to the bottom of my soul. You're part of me, the best part, and I love you so much it aches sometimes, to be trusted with this gift."

Ziva softly touched the back of his neck. "And what are you leaving behind while we are here neshama?"

Tony had to seriously thing about the question. "The frustration of not being able to act like your husband all the time, I guess. Constantly being on edge and waiting for the next intrusion. Stress from work."

Their lips met, melding into each other, the dance sacred and familiar. "I am glad. This is for both of us."

"Definitely."

"And yet you insist on doing all the work."

A cocky grin appeared on his face. "I figure you're using up all your energy initiating intimacy that I am thoroughly enjoying, the least I can do is repay the favour in a different way."

Her eyebrows drew together. "It is not a debt, not because I have to. I am enjoying it just as much as you."

"I know, I can tell." Tony stroked her hair. "And that's why I like doing special things for you, things I know you'll take delight in - because I can. Plus, this is a special situation. You don't have to go along with bedroom activities-"

"Or shower," Ziva interjected, smirking.

"Or shower activities," he amended, recalling their fun yesterday morning, "a few times a day, but you do and I love you for the freedom we're discovering."

She played with the chain he always wore. "A freedom long deserved. What number is that?"

He kissed her neck. "I'll tell you later. Come on, dinner awaits."

Ziva accepted the offered hands and they headed out. For the second time in two days the couple found themselves on a boat moving towards yet another small island, Grand Ilet, this one set in the middle of Simpson Bay Lagoon. Once moored, Tony helped her out and nodded appreciatively at the location. "Another one just as described - small and picturesque, the -"

"The ideal spot for picnicking."

He turned to look at her. "Did you snoop through my bag?" She'd quoted the final part right from the website page.

Ziva declined to answer. "We're married. Married people share."

"But Zi," he pouted. "There's...that stuff is supposed to be a surprise!"

She rolled her eyes. "Do not get worked up Tony, I have not gone into your bag."

"Then how-?" he protested, gesturing to the beach.

Ziva patted his chest. "I read the official website too."

He relaxed a fraction. "Oh. Good." There were a few other things planned, plus notes he'd scribbled in blank margin space that he wasn't quite ready to share with her yet. "Well m'lady, where should we spread our blanket?"

The blanket was actually an extra large beach towel they'd purchased earlier. She walked a little further down. "Here."

Together they smoothed it out and got comfortable. Tony opened the basket, also borrowed from items supplied in their cottage, and handed her a sandwich made with fresh local ingredients. "Bon appetit."

"Merci."

They ate in silence for a few minutes, then Ziva leaned back on one hand. "I really liked our outing today."

Tony looked very pleased with himself. "I thought you might."

"And I have been thinking-"

"A dangerous occupation," he put in.

She mock glared at him, "-what a wonderful present some of the things in the boutique would make for our friends." Though it would be a bit pricy shopping for all ten of them, where else could they find some of the unique gifts offered at Tijon? Ziva bit her lip. "I know that might be more expensive than we were planning for Christmas giving."

He wove their fingers together. "I'm sure it will be worth the extra honey. And I know the girls would love it."

"The men as well," she pointed out. "It is not just for women." He agreed with a nod and her smiled bloomed. "Thank you. They have been so generous to me. I am happy for a chance to spoil them in return."

"You're right, they deserve it." Tony stretched out on the blanket. "Just when were you planning on doing this shopping?"

Ziva draped herself over him. "I thought we could go back on another afternoon when we didn't have anything else booked." She opened one eye. "Is there some free time left?" He'd been awfully diligent about filling their days with delightful experiences.

Tony ran over what was left in the week. Their schedule was pretty set and they still had a lot of ground to cover, but it was also the first real vacation she-they had ever been on, he would deny his wife nothing. "I suppose we could spare an hour at some point. As long as you take me with you." He dropped a kiss on her tempting pink mouth.

"Hmm," she smiled against his lips. "Deal." Being with him would always be her favourite thing.

A leisurely hour and a half later the picnic wrapped up after watching another gorgeous St. Martin sunset and Tony and Ziva returned to their room hand in hand. "I have another surprise for you," he announced as Ziva set her new bag down.

Her brow furrowed. "Tony, no, you have spoiled me outrageously already today."

Tony linked his fingers behind her back. "Too late, it's already been delivered." His lips swept briefly over hers and he sighed, resting their foreheads together. "Let me spoil you honey, please. Exorbitantly, outrageously, magnificently, extravagantly. I don't get a chance like this at home."

She laid her hands on both sides of his neck. "And what about you? Who is spoiling you?"

Ziva could feel the smirk on her skin before he spoke. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been a very lucky man so far this week."

Her head tilted to the side. "Surely there is more than sex that would make you feel special."

"I'm a guy Zi," he chuckled, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "We're not that complicated."

"Please be serious."

Tony sighed. "Food is good. Bikinis and lingerie are good. Naked is very good. Sex is great. But it's not exactly a secret." She merely raised an eyebrow and waited. He shrugged. "Flirting, compliments, possessiveness, making me feel like a guy by doing something for you." His fingers feathered through her hair. "Telling me all the reasons you love and adore me. That kind of thing."

Ziva gazed up at him with that very love and adoration. "Well, I shall do my best."

"So far, so good," he murmured, then stepped back and waved his hand towards the counter. "May I present a special treat?" There, neatly arranged by hotel staff, sat a plate of chocolate covered strawberries, a bag of red and green Christmas M&amp;M's, and a familiar pink package of gummy bears.

Her confusion was obvious and he shrugged. "The strawberries are because they remind me of our honeymoon and other special occasions. The others I thought we might use as betting currency."

"Currency for what? I do not play poker."

"You'd be amazing at it with that Mossad ninja mask," Tony assured her. "And one of these days I'll teach you to play strip poker because that will just be awesome. But tonight I was thinking maybe we could try Truth or Dare again? It's been years and I could use some mindless silly fun with my wife. What do you say?"

The twinkle in Ziva's eyes was impossible to miss and she tossed him the M&amp;M's. "You first."

They raced for comfy seats in the small living area and Tony tore open the bag with enthusiasm, purposely brandishing a red M&amp;M, the ones she liked best. "This is a classic - most embarrassing moment ever?" Since she'd originally refused to just pick 'truth' or 'dare' until she knew what he might say in return, they'd modified the game structure a bit. But it was still fun to see what answers they'd brave and which they'd avoid.

Ziva thought about it for a moment and slowly shook her head. "Dare."

Grinning with glee, he popped the candy in his mouth. "And for your consequence..." Tony paused, drawing the moment out "...you have to make out kiss me in public."

Her eyebrows rose. "Make out kiss you?"

"Yeah," he drawled. "Something totally not appropriate for view outside the bedroom."

She pursed her lips. "Fine. But I won't tell you when."

"That makes it more fun." Tony waved to her. "Your go."

Though gummy bears were really her favourite and not his, she dug out a yellow one. "If we ever decided to break the rules and you knew we would not get caught, where at work would you choose for an...intimate encounter?" His jaw dropped at her candor then he cleared his throat, hesitating. Ziva chuckled. "Do not tell me you have never thought about it Tony."

Many not safe for work fantasies flashed through his mind and finally he blurted, "Copyroom. Definitely copyroom."

Mischief sparked in her gaze and he snatched the bear. "I thought you would say elevator," she remarked.

The subject wasn't a useful one to dwell on as it would never happen, so Tony continued. "If you could be granted one wish, what would it be?"

Because they were supposed to be having fun Ziva censored the serious answers that came to her first and instead chose something simple. "To swim with dolphins. That would be an amazing experience."

He remembered the last time she said that, an after nightmare phone call during their Miami separation. Willingly handing over a red M&amp;M, he smiled. "We'll have to see what we can do about that."

Another gummy, green this time, appeared in her hand. "Most embarrassing thing you've ever done to get a girl's attention?"

There were far too many to choose from and none that he wanted to share with his wife. "Dare," he conceded reluctantly.

"Brave man." Ziva's expression was devious. "You must wear pink nail polish to a group basketball game."

"Zi," Tony groaned. "The guys'll never let me live that down."

She shrugged, chewing the candy slowly. "You should not have taken the dare then."

He could hardly argue with that. "Meanest thing you ever did as a kid."

Ziva held out her hand for an M&amp;M and he gave her green on purpose. "I cut the hair off two of Tali's dolls after she ruined one of my best drawings." She had the grace to look a little sheepish. "Ima caught me before I could do a third."

"Ooh, big sister revenge. Was it worth it?"

She recalled the punishment and her sister's tears. "No." An orange bear came out of the bag next. "Strangest thing you have ever eaten?"

Tony grimaced. "I tried shark once on Spring Break. Nasty." Sugar helped the memory and he pondered his next question. "What would you do if you would be invisible for one day?"

That one took some consideration and her brow furrowed. "I do not know," she admitted after some reflection. "Perhaps I will give that ability to you. Then you can go spy on Gibbs and see how he gets his boats out of the basement."

"I'm not sure if that counts," he tossed a red M&amp;M her way, "but you get points for creativity."

Ziva crunched the candy triumphantly. "Thank you."

The game continued, more silly questions intermingled with an occasional serious one that let them learn something new about one another. When they were ready for it to be over Ziva took the last turn, bringing over a chocolate covered strawberry and feeding the first bite to her husband, making his lap her new chair. "What is your favourite place to kiss me other than on the lips? And you must also demonstrate."

Choosing to keep it G-rated, his gaze narrowed in on the smidge of chocolate at the corner of her mouth before he swept her hair aside and brought his lips to the spot where her neck and shoulder met. "Here," Tony whispered lowly, savouring the warm skin.

Tipping her head to the side to give him better access, she hummed contentedly. "I enjoy that."

Tony cupped her cheek, aligning their mouths. "Which makes it even better." The kiss deepened, requiring her full concentration, fingers sliding up his neck and into his hair. He broke away abruptly, nuzzling her ear. "Shall we take this to the bedroom?"

Ziva frowned at the loss of contact. "I must be doing something wrong if you have to ask."

He grinned and claimed her lips fervently. "Well, there's also the couch."

She snorted. "It does not leave enough room for...creativity." Then she bolted towards their room and Tony caught her by the bed, his hot mouth seeking hers. That was the end of any coherent thoughts for either of them until much later when the couple fell asleep firmly ensconced in each other's arms, ready for another night of island inspired peaceful dreams.

_Replies:_

_Guest (MIT1) - Well, you guys take the time to leave a review, which I appreciate. The least I can do is reply and say thank you. And wow, I'm honoured to be included in your favourites' list with jelenamichel. She's one of my all time favourite Tiva authors. Thank you. And thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you're enjoying it! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie (MIT28) - Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. Someone had requested non-Somalia scars with T&amp;Z back in RofS somewhere I think. I've kind of had it in the back of my mind since then so I was glad for an opportunity to work it in. I agree, they are definitely at that point where their relationship is only going to get deeper from here on out after all they've weathered in the last year. Thanks. I'm beginning to think I'm putting too much work into these vacation chapters because really, it was never supposed to be this involved and I'm struggling to make it through. But it is so nice for T&amp;Z to have this peace and joy after what the fall looked like for them with both their dads showing up and causing problems. I'm doing my best and I hope I can have the holiday section of the story wrapped up in the next month so we can get on with the rest of it. Thanks for being willing to wait, that means a lot. Thanks for reviewing, it's much appreciated! :) Aliyah_


	30. 8x12 Recruited 5

**Wednesday December 29** \- Day 6

The first thing he noticed was the colours, then the smells, then everything else registered in a blur. Dozens of stands set up along the waterfront, people everywhere, and an astounding amount of wares just waiting to be noticed. Though the open air market ran every day of the week, Tony chose this day in particular to come down and check it out because it was one of only two when clothing and souvenir sellers joined their counterparts to take advantage of the crowds. Ziva loved it immediately, he could tell, could feel her feeding off the energy and bright sunshine. Vacation was taking its toll, she didn't even scan the area for threats before diving right in, Tony following on her heels like a faithful puppy.

She'd tried earlier to convince him she could come alone, that he should take the time to relax on his own and not feel pressured to do anything in particular, but he'd refused before she even finished her sentence. "Package deal, remember Zi?"

Giving him that humouring smile, she patted his chest lightly. "A fact I don't dispute ahava, but this may be a couple hours of browsing and looking and trying on and shopping. And men do not find the same enjoyment in that activity as women do." She refrained from saying he'd probably rather spend the same amount of time doing paperwork than trailing her around what amounted to an outdoor mall.

He cupped her face in his hands. "While I appreciate you thinking of me, the only thing I want to do on this trip is be with you, okay? Even if it is shopping." His lips caressed hers slowly, then he stepped back and gestured to the door. "After you."

And so here they were, immersing themselves in the sights and sounds of Marigot Market. Thankful that she'd thought to bring a canvas bag, Ziva took her time examining the homegrown produce, tropical fruits and spices, and fresh fish, already planning how to work some of them into a more exotic meal or two for her husband than they were usually able to have. Along with the food there were also bright sundresses and beach shirts - which Tony had to try on to see if they made him feel more like Bond or Magnum - magnets, beaded jewellery, and original paintings done by local artists. The art caught her attention and prompted her to linger and consider whether any of them could be brought home.

Seeing the longing look in her eyes, Tony grabbed his wallet. "Which one honey?"

She glanced over. "I wasn't planning on buying anything. But the talent is incredible."

He nudged her. "Come on, I know you. There's one you're just dying to hang up in the house that'll always remind you of our holiday. Which is it?" At her expression he frowned. "Will you stop worrying about money? You've been hesitant with souvenirs all week. It's not like we're going to get another chance like this anytime soon."

Wanting to argue that she couldn't help being conscious of the cost when she knew how hard they'd worked for the funds they'd brought and she didn't want to be one of those wives always spending without thought of the household finances, Ziva knew from his expression that her husband was offering in all sincerity and she couldn't politely refuse without hurting him. So she pointed to a canvas capturing beautiful clear water, rocks below and clouds above. It was magnificent and she loved the way it drew her in and made her feel the peace that had claimed her on each beach they'd visited so far. "Thank you," she said quietly and he squeezed her hand, carefully carrying the bag in his other one.

The day was turning out to be a real beauty, just as each had been since they arrived. Walking slowly, Tony and Ziva took advantage of the opportunity for people watching and chatting with locals and visitors alike. Ziva was able to put to use a handful of the languages in her repertoire and he could tell she liked the multi-cultural aspect of the island. Partway through they stopped for some food from a restaurant across the street and later tried samples of the many flavoured rums available. When she'd finally seen enough of everything Ziva turned to go back to their hotel, but Tony instead led her towards the actual shops in town.

She frowned. "What are you doing?"

He tucked her hair back. "I'm sure I'm not the only one who read about the duty free shopping here. I want you to take your time and buy yourself something pretty and indulgent. I'm going to go find someone who can give me directions to our next destination and then I'll be back."

Kissing her quickly, he left before she could get anything else out of him. Ziva stared after her husband, shaking her head slightly and wondering what he was up to. Then, casting her gaze at the variety surrounding her - French and Italian clothing fashions including the latest styles from Paris, jewellery, leather, electronics and many other things all free of taxes and customs and often offered at bargain prices - she gave into the spoiling he seemed intent on doing and pushed open the door of the clothing store nearest her. Perhaps it was time to find something that would...what was the expression? Oh yes, knock his shoes off. Which was apparently a good thing, though she failed to see how. Really, Ziva just wanted to make an impression on the man she loved more than anything else in the world.

**NCIS**

In the middle of the night Tony was drawn out of sleep by his wife's gentle fingers caressing his face. "Tony," she whispered.

"Mmm," he moaned, waiting to feel her touch again.

Ziva was smiling when she kissed him lightly. "Tony."

He peeked one eye open, then both of them, and blinked a bit confusedly. "Why do you look so awake at," he craned his head to see the clock, "0-dark-30?"

She chuckled and the mocha coloured irises he loved danced. "I couldn't sleep. How can you on a night like this?"

Tony couldn't help it, the corners of his lips lifted and he fingered one silky curl. "What's so special about tonight?"

Her lips found his once more and she mapped the familiar contours of his face. "We're alive."

He caught her hand, brushing his mouth over the backs of her fingers. "And what should we do to celebrate this revelation?"

Ziva tilted her head and gazed at him in utter adoration. "Thank you."

"For what?"

She sighed happily. "Not laughing at me."

Tony traced the glinting white gold of her necklace where it lay in the shadows along her collarbone. "Ziva DiNozzo I have lived with you for four incredible years, I know better than to laugh at you." He studied her face. "So, what are we going to do?"

The excitement returned to her eyes and she leaned close to whisper in his ear. "Let's go skin dipping."

He pulled back to get a confirmation of what he thought he heard. "Are you serious?"

She nodded. "Yes."

Tony swallowed and glanced towards their balcony. "In the soaking pool?"

Ziva shook her head. "No. In the ocean."

A breeze played with the gauzy curtains and he could hear the roar of waves that lay just beyond their little haven. "The ocean."

Biting her lip, Ziva stood up and held out her hand. She was clothed only in a thin cotton chemise, tousled hair falling over her shoulders. Promising for better or worse meant following her anywhere, especially when it was a crazy adventure while the rest of the world was asleep. He reached for her and let her pull him to his feet, then she tossed a large towel at him and headed for the balcony where several steps down put them within throwing distance of the water.

Tony caught her hand and they sprinted across the sand, running right to the edge of the water. For several seconds the couple just stood there with their eyes closed, breathing in the balmy air and feeling the surf tickle their ankles. Then Ziva let go and the next thing he knew she was naked in front of him and unashamed of that state as she backed slowly into the cool swells. Seconds later he joined her, making a quick scan of the area for witnesses first even though nobody in their right mind would be out at this time of night.

Satisfied that the most anyone would see was the silhouettes of two lovers, he waded out with her until the waves came up past their waists. Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her with enough passion to steal her breath and Ziva laughed out loud, pure joy and delight in the sound. Falling backwards into the water's embrace, husband and wife kissed and laughed and swam - never getting further away than arm's reach - and played like young sweethearts who'd never known such darkness as the world could offer.

Wishing for somewhere to sit after awhile that did not involve sand getting into inconvenient places, or something to use for support while he made very thorough use of the pretty mouth smiling at him in the moonlight, Tony glanced around and saw how far they'd drifted from their towel. They were close to the dock now and he took advantage of that, bringing them close enough to press her back to one of the pilings. Her eyebrows arched in surprise, then both hands framed his face and she explored his mouth and body with such a thoroughness that he very nearly forgot his own name.

Returning the favour and leaving her quite breathless, Tony held Ziva against him and stared into her beautiful brown eyes. "Do you remember," he managed after his heartrate slowed, "when you told me soon after you got home that you didn't feel confident or comfortable being naked anymore?"

A brief shadow crossed her face. Ziva remembered all too well the hopelessness in her husband's expression when he thought he might have to give up intimacy with her forever and how she came back with her rings and promised it would not be that long. They'd traveled lightyears in the fourteen months since that conversation and she simply nodded, choosing to let him explain why that was being brought up now.

He stroked her cheek. "Two weeks ago you wandered through the house without a stitch of clothing on and now here we are swimming naked in the ocean in a foreign country." Soft lips caressed hers. "I just wanted you to know that I've noticed the difference and I'm so proud of how far you've come." He rested his forehead on hers, never looking away from her eyes. "You are so amazing."

That compliment, of course, led to more making out and it was ages before a refreshing gust of wind made them shiver, bringing their time in the water to a close. They swam back to their original starting point closer to where the small pile of belongings lay but Ziva resisted the end of such an enjoyable outing. With a whole lot of kisses and some whispered promises Tony patiently coaxed his wife out of the ocean and held her as he swallowed them both in the towel. He nuzzled her cheek and left a row of kisses along her neck. "Now what Mrs. DiNozzo? Shall we go back inside?"

Ziva looked up at him and cupped his cheek. "Inside? I hadn't planned on it."

His brow furrowed. "So we just stay out here and give the other guests a show when they wake up?"

"Actually," she said slowly, "I was hoping to watch the sun rise with you." His expression made her giggle and she slid her lips over his. "It's a tourist area Tony, no one will even look twice."

Technically the official clothing optional beach was on the other side of the island, so they might actually draw some attention. Still, he pretended to be offended. "They would if they knew what I was hiding under this towel." Her eyebrows rose with interest and he could see a retort forming, so Tony ran his thumb over the side of her breast as a distraction. "I mean you, of course."

Ziva slipped her arms around his waist, closed her eyes, and breathed in his damp skin. "I love you."

Tilting her chin up, Tony claimed her lips in a gentle, loving kiss. "Me too babe. Me too."

They found a place to rest in an abandoned lounger and watched the sky change colour as morning came to their seaside paradise. By the time the light touched them and turned everything to gold for one beautiful shining moment, Tony and Ziva were dry and pleasantly tired. Shimmying back into what little clothing they'd come out in, they headed back to the cottage. Sneaking in was no harder than sneaking out and Tony couldn't help but wonder how this scenario would've played out if they'd been staying in a hotel instead.

He had very few doubts about his wife's stealth abilities and as confident as she was these days, it was quite probable that she would've initiated such an activity even if they might've been caught. He chuckled inwardly thinking about the possibility of shocking a cleaning lady or scaring one of the busboys with their brazenness, but it was a moot point now. Once behind closed doors the couple took a quick shower to wash off the salt and fell into bed, warmly wrapped in each other's arms. It was safe to say that was one part of their vacation neither would ever forget. This was what it meant not to take any more of life for granted.

**NCIS**

**Thursday December 30** \- Day 7

Their late morning activity this time was kayaking, something else Ziva had never tried before. It was a great way to view the island from a different perspective and she came to appreciate the simple beauty even more after taking the water tour. Part of their time was spent paddling through the Etang aux Poissons, a pond separated from the sea by a strip of sand. They passed the mangroves, gliding alongside egrets and other wading wildlife. Not a word was spoken, the quiet hush seemed sacred in a way and it was truly an awe-inspiring experience.

Once they returned their rented kayaks, Tony got them a taxi and asked to be dropped off in what seemed to be a more remote area. He exited the vehicle wearing a stuffed full backpack and carrying a large umbrella, neither of which he'd explained to Ziva. The taxi drove away and he offered his hand. "This way Mrs. DiNozzo."

"Where are we going?" she asked as they followed a trail through a gate and towards the coast.

Tony swallowed and wavered on the answer. "Well...that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"I'm listening," Ziva reminded him when they reached the cliff and he hadn't said anything yet.

Her husband bit his lip. "Let's get down there and I'll explain."

She glanced over the edge. "Down there?" What she saw was a small section of beach surrounded by tall rocks and bordered by the calm ocean.

"Yeah. It's steep but the climb isn't supposed to be hard."

Ziva smiled and let him go first, though she would've been happy to lead the way. "It is a good thing we have rockclimbing experience then, yes?"

They made it down onto the secluded little beach and Tony unloaded his gear. He turned to face the water, hands on his hips, then glanced over his shoulder. She joined him, rubbing her hand down his back. "Are you going to tell me?"

The arms that had held her early this morning while they swam and kissed completely bare in the water right outside their door slid around her again. "This place is called Lover's Beach, La Plage des Amoureux, so named because there's only room for two people at a time."

Ziva had an idea of where he was going with this. "Am I to guess you did not bring me here just to admire the lovely scenery?"

Tony smoothed some hair behind her ear. "I don't want you to feel any pressure honey, really. But that dream you had...and then you said former ninjas don't turn down adventures..."

"And you would like to say you have made love on the beach of a tropical island?"

His eyebrows drew together. "I'm not going to tell anybody Zi, I would just like to have experienced that with you."

She touched her lips to his. "The umbrella?"

"To shield us from any passing eyes."

Another kiss. "The backpack?"

"Blankets...to make sure we're covered and protected against any bothersome sand."

Her mouth sought his. "I think you have covered all the bases."

Tony was losing the ability to think clearly. "Was that...a yes?"

Ziva giggled, actually giggled, and backed slowly away from him into the shadows at the bottom of the rock face. Her head tipped to the side, mischief sparking through her eyes. "It was not a no."

He grinned so big at the victory and began setting up the supplies. "I can work with that." Here on the island where reality couldn't touch them it seemed they were both doing their best to make each other's favourite dreams and fantasies come true. It was something he didn't want to stop.

**NCIS**

The wind picked up after a couple of hours causing the already tiny beach to get even smaller. That was the only thing that could compel Ziva to get up and put on her clothes again. Long, lazy parts of hours had drifted by with them pressed together behind the umbrella, her fingers wandering over his skin and his hands possessively claiming her body. Several times he tried to move so he wasn't crushing her but she would have none of it, taking solace in the contact and comforting of her husband's weight on her. The experience had been exhilarating, the thrill of maybe getting caught only adding to the excitement of doing something so far outside of the ordinary, and she found she wanted more of that feeling.

Before they left the sanctuary of their blanket and umbrella hideaway, Ziva kissed him slowly. "Thank you for suggesting this ahava."

He held her just a little bit tighter. "Thank you for wanting to try with me," he whispered hoarsely. "We are so great together Zi."

She patted his cheek. "That we are."

The trek back to where they could catch a ride to their accommodations felt longer this time but the couple didn't mind. A quick shower took care of the evidence of having spent most of the day outside, then Ziva shooed him onto the balcony to relax while she dressed for dinner. She got exactly the reaction she was hoping for when she stepped out the door and struck a sexy pose. "Well, what do you think?"

His mouth fell open as he stood and approached her slowly. The silky green dress was as soft as he remembered, fingertip trailing down her side. "Wow. I didn't know... Did you steal this from wardrobe?"

Ziva chuckled. "It was always mine."

Tony gave her a look. "We've shared the same closet for years, how did I not know this?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "I had it tucked away somewhere, waiting for the right occasion."

He tugged at one of the strings holding the overlapping parts of the dress together and got the bow halfway undone before Ziva stopped him. "Not yet yakiri," she practically purred.

The kiss was sudden but not unexpected and Tony had to work hard not to let it escalate like it did in the hotel room on their assignment. "I love this dress," he mumbled against her lips.

"And this time you can be sure I am dressing up for you." She frowned slightly. "I had considered the black one but-"

Tony stopped her. "It's perfect."

She held out her hand to him. "Shall we go?"

Tonight they went to one of the fancier restaurants where a multi-course meal typically lasted for the entire evening. The selection included fresh lobster, prime rib, veal, grilled lamb, chicken and a variety of grilled fish. It was a nice change of pace to take their time and really savour each kind of food. And to top it off by dancing to a quick calypso beat that had Ziva laughing and showing off her incredible rhythm and skills was the icing on the cake for Tony. Just before he was about to give in and kiss her so he could feel that smile against his lips, his wife fulfilled her dare and laid one on him that should've had younger audiences covering their eyes at the display.

"How was that?" she whispered breathily, pulling away a fraction.

"Good. That was...good," he stammered, unable to think of anything else at the moment besides getting her back to their room.

Ziva read the desire in his eyes and slowly sashayed away, swinging her hips a bit more than necessary. "Are you coming Tony?" she called, which was more than enough motivation for him.

The couple didn't take time to admire the clear sky or brilliant stars above them, both eagerly anticipating the sheet music they planned to make once safely undercovers. It was the perfect way to top off their night, and day in Tony's opinion. All was quiet between them when the fun was over and they were thinking about letting sleep claim them. He was listening to the sound of the surf right outside when she stirred in his arms.

"This is nice," Ziva commented.

Tony didn't know if she was referring to them being in just their skin, the fact that they'd just made love again as if they were going for some kind of record while on vacation, or the soothing ocean sounds outside their open windows. He pressed his lips to her neck and snuggled closer. "What is?"

She sighed, running her hand along his forearm. "You holding me because you want to and not because you have to."

He frowned and started to sit up, but her little noise of protest kept him in place. "When have I ever given you the impression that I'm doing it because I have to? Zi, I love this."

The stillness that fell after his statement was laced with something Ziva wasn't sure she wanted to say out loud. "I only meant that it is nice to be held for no reason, instead of for too much reason."

She was expecting him to think deep stuff when very recently them had consumed every ounce of his focus, so the meaning took a bit longer than usual to sink in. "You're talking about the night-"

Her fingers over his lips stopped the word from being finished and she shook her head slightly, shifting to her back. "Do not say it out loud," Ziva whispered. "I will give them no power while we are here."

And all of a sudden Tony was doing the math and realized they were coming up on twenty-three days with no desert dreams. He squeezed his eyes closed and prayed yet again that after all this time she could finally be free of that place. His words were murmured into her ear. "I get it babe, I do. But even then I'm not doing it because I have to, but because I love you. You're my wife, I'm your husband, comfort is part of the job description. I wish you didn't need to, but I'm so glad you turn to me in those darkest hours."

Her mouth sought his and he suspected the kiss was as much to shut him up and change the subject as it was an unspoken thank you. Instead of questioning it, however, Tony just pulled her in closer, tightened his arms around her, and kissed her so thoroughly no other words were needed. They fell asleep so close together that not even a breath separated them, both exactly where they wanted to be.

**NCIS**

**Friday December 31** \- Day 8

"Oh Tony, it's beautiful," Ziva said softly, stepping onto the unspoiled golden sand.

"I was hoping you'd like it," he replied, gazing around.

The ten minute hike to Happy Bay beach had been well worth their time. Coconut trees lined the foliage behind them and the water was an incredible shade of blue-green that called to her. For awhile she and Tony strolled hand in hand in the shallows but soon enough the pull of the ocean was too strong and Ziva lost her tank top and shorts, revealing a magenta pink bikini briefly before running out deeper and diving into the water's familiar embrace. Tony stayed where he was, having not dressed for swimming, and watched his wife enjoy one of her favourite things.

She didn't stay in long, just enough to take the edge off, and returned to him fifteen minutes later, wringing out her drenched curls. "That was fun." Leaning up on tiptoe, she touched her lips to his. "Are we here for awhile?" The blanket they'd brought to sit on might have to be partially used to dry her hair. She hadn't thought far enough ahead to have a towel handy.

He slung his arm around her shoulders regardless of the wet and kissed her forehead. "For a little while. Long enough for you to air dry I think."

"Then what?"

Tony admired the way her rings caught the sunlight. "I planned something for you."

Ziva seemed surprised. "Only for me? I thought solo activities were frowned upon this week."

"They are in general," he nodded, "but this one is special."

How special he wouldn't share until he delivered her to the door of a very swanky looking spa. "The next few hours are all about you sweetheart."

She turned and put her hand on his chest. "I don't know what to say. Thank you seems inadequate for all the work you've put into making this holiday a success."

Tony covered her hand with his. "You don't have to say anything. Just enjoy it." He ran his nose along the outside of her ear and whispered, "The look on your face is my reward."

Their lips met again and then Ziva parted from her husband for the first time in several days when she walked through the front doors into the clean, professional, friendly environment. In the time that followed she learned the true meaning of being pampered, starting simply with the lovely, relaxing atmosphere the spa projected. There was waxing using a special technique that left no redness and didn't hurt at all, followed by a body exfoliation with a product that made her skin as soft as silk, and an oxygen treatment which left her skin feeling refreshed and moisturized. After that came a one hour massage so wonderful Ziva thought this must be a taste of heaven. To top it all off she received a shellac mani/pedi and got the kind of attention and thoroughness not present even in many of the other high quality establishments she'd frequented on occasion back home

Tony was there to collect her at the end and she melted into his hug. "I have not felt this good in years," she murmured. "You should get a husband award for this one."

His laughter was muffled in her hair. "I'll keep that in mind." Warm hands drifted over her neck, shoulders, and back and he was pleased to find not even a trace of knots or tension. "Maybe I should've had a massage too."

"They were amazing." Ziva brushed her lips over his neck. "Perhaps I will owe you one very soon."

Tony slid his arm around her waist, guiding her to the waiting taxi. "I like the sound of that."

She needed a nap when they got back because she was just too darned relaxed to stay awake. He let her have the bed to herself, having already taken his nap, and returned to one of the loungers on their balcony where he picked up the magazine he'd been paging through. His focus was totally shot by the presence of his wife, however, and he finally gave up and sank into a cushioned chair across from their bed. _I think I just need to see her like this_, he decided, with no shadows or concerns marring her features, the lines of her body free from the tenseness they both so often carried. It was a gift.

He was still staring when she opened her eyes a bit later and beckoned him closer for a kiss that became two and then three - soft and slow and easy and for once not leading to any kind of naked intimacy, only the kind that bound their hearts closer together. Hard as it was, he tore himself away from his wife enough to announce a small detour they were going to take on their way to supper. As their destination was Spiga, an Italian restaurant conveniently located across the street from everyone's favourite parfumerie et boutique, she had a good idea about where they'd end up.

John and Cyndi were delighted to see them again and both were happy to consult with the couple about what gifts would be most appropriate to bring home for their friends. McKenna was easy to buy for - there was an adorable stuffed purple unicorn named Jonti that was perfect. And since Ryan wasn't much older and still enjoyed stuffed animals, Ziva chose Jinto the white sea lion. There was a scentable pendant necklace for Allie and a similar kind of bracelet for Cassie. CJ and Emma both received different kinds of scented candles while the men, being harder to shop for in general, took a little more consideration. The final decision was for samples sizes of the most popular colognes for all of them to try and the promise of more to come if they found something they liked.

After those purchases were made and their wallets lightened, husband and wife entered the elegant restaurant and were seated at a reserved table. Upon perusing the menus they chose their meals fairly quickly and debated playfully over dessert. For Tony tagliatelle veal bolognese ragu, and Ziva got pappardelle - Italian sausage, sweet peas, and mushrooms. Dessert was a little trickier but they settled on warm chocolate and hazelnut cake with cookies and cream ice cream and chocolate sauce.

Hours later they made their way back and retired to the large, comfortable white hammock on their balcony, watching as fireworks were set off all across the island for the Old Year's celebration that welcomed in the new year. A multitude of colours burst into the sky, reflected in Ziva's eyes. When the clock struck midnight he pulled her close. "Happy New Year Zi."

She smiled into gentle pressure of his lips. "Shana tova neshama."

With all of the shadows now firmly behind them and his beautiful bride relaxing in his arms, Tony couldn't think of a better way to start a new year, one that would be so much better for them than the last two. This was the beginning again and for once he was actually looking forward to everything that was coming next.

_Replies:_

_Guest - Hi! Thanks for leaving a review. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, hopefully it's making a little sense even starting in the middle. Thanks, that's a nice compliment. I love when people can feel the scenes. Hope to see you again! ~Aliyah_

_Guest #2 - I'm so glad to hear that. Yeah, Tony is doing a great job showing her all those things. I don't think there's any room left for doubt in Ziva's mind now. Lots more to come, thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - Aw, that's nice to hear. I wasn't really sure what people were going to think but everyone seemed to think the perfume making was pretty cool which is nice after all the research that went into it :) I didn't know you could do that either until I started looking into activities on the island but now I really want to try it too. You're welcome, thanks for appreciating the details. St. Martin is now top of my list for a next place to visit. I agree, Tony is very romantic. I would love to get a guy with some of his qualities :) Thanks for reviewing Debbie, I always appreciate it! ~Aliyah_


	31. 8x12 Recruited 6

_A/N: Hello all! Welcome to the final peek at T&amp;Z's vacation and finally a return to relatively normal life. I do apologize that this section has taken so long to plow through, thanks to everyone who left a review. I'm really glad people have been enjoying T&amp;Z's time away. Episode content in this chapter is limited to one conversation. There wasn't much to work with. I can't make any promises but I do hope to continue once/week updates for the next little bit. Thanks for everything guys, your support and feedback is my motivation! Love ~Aliyah_

**Saturday January 1** \- Day 9

Morning dawned on their final day of vacation and as the warm sun rays splayed across the blue ocean outside their haven Tony propped himself up on one arm and just gazed at his wife. She lay on her side facing the open window as she had slept ever night so far, like she was trying to get as close to the sound of the waves as possible. Her posture and expression were peaceful, a hint of a smile touching her lips. He could've looked forever.

"This is what we've been missing Zi," he said quietly, not wanting to disturb her, fingering a dark brown curl. "This is what we've fought for during this whole last miserable year, to get to a place where there was finally no demons left to do battle with." Tony sighed and pressed his lips to her bare shoulder. "I'm so thankful we finally made it."

Ziva stirred at his touch. "I'm not asleep." She reached back in search of his hand, lacing their fingers together on her hip. He took the hint and slid close, enveloping her in his embrace. "Do we have to go back today?"

He breathed in the scent of her hair. "I'm afraid so. Our holiday time is up tomorrow."

"Do you think this feeling will last in DC?" she asked in a soft voice.

Tony wished he knew the answer and held her tighter. "If we make it last and hold on hard enough maybe."

Ziva moved to her back and brought his mouth to hers. "Thank you for a lovely vacation Tony. I never imagined it could be so wonderful."

"Me neither." Her eyes were shiny and he'd do anything to keep the tears at bay, even happy ones. His lips grazed her palm, mind racing for what else to say. "Hey," he suddenly got a great idea. There was one beach left on his list that they had yet to visit, "let's go swimming." As much as there'd been no shortage of beaches and beach related activities over the past week, they hadn't spend as much time just swimming for no reason and Tony knew how deeply his wife loved being in the water.

She managed a smile. "I would like that." Ziva waited another minute before actually getting out of bed, fully aware that this was the last time they'd wake up on the island. Then she slipped into the eye catching, shaded blue bikini that was her favourite of the new ones and kissed her husband sweetly as they walked out the door.

Opting to take their time and stroll to Little Beach rather than get a taxi, by the time they arrived the sun had risen quite a bit higher in the sky and the hours remaining before their trip was well and truly over began a silent countdown in the back of Ziva's mind. Pushing away reality as long as possible, she waded into the calm turquoise water and drew a deep breath before diving under. Aiming for the bottom, she caressed the soft white sand and flipped over an abandoned shell. Kicking her legs she traveled further, following the dusty, translucent tendrils of sunshine as they reached for the ocean floor. Finally drifting towards the surface for air, she found Tony treading water nearby.

He grinned. "I thought you were never coming up." Left unsaid was how his heart lodged more firmly in his throat with every minute she remained underwater.

Ziva knew exactly what he meant and swam closer. "I can hold my breath for a very long time Tony."

"I know," he murmured, getting near enough to claim her lips. "But I still get worried, it's my job."

She moved her arms and legs in lazy patterns to stay afloat. "Vacations are not for worrying ahava. Come," she sank into the water and re-emerged, "we will play follow the leader." Diving away, she left her husband gaping for a moment before he grinned and pressed forward, trailing in her wake.

More than an hour passed while they swam and played and floated in the clear warm ocean. Finally his stomach growled loud enough for Ziva to hear and she chuckled. "I guess that means it is breakfast time."

"Probably awhile ago," he conceded as they returned to the beach. Tony towel dried his hair and skin enough that the t-shirt wouldn't stick, while Ziva covered her swimsuit with a cute wrap around sundress from the market earlier that week. "I think we passed a place advertising an authentic American breakfast. Want to check it out?"

She pursed her lips. "Perhaps we should just have a quick snack. It is getting late and we will need to eat something before boarding the plane."

His nose scrunched and he sighed. "Good point. Maybe a slice of toast or something instead." He glanced towards the trail. "I'll race you back," then took off without a pause.

Shrieking in outrage at his head start Ziva sprinted after her husband and they alternated racing, walking, and jogging back to the cottage. Both were a sweaty mess as the temperature had only continued to rise and with a suggestive smile and arched eyebrow he looked towards the shower. Agreeing immediately, Ziva let her husband untie her dress and lead her under the gentle refreshing waterfall. Swimsuits were peeled from wet bodies and washing occurred in between slow, open mouthed kisses and possessive, wandering hands. They emerged sometime later clean, happy, and delightfully relaxed, a good note on which to end their trip. The couple shared a piece of toast with the last of the local jam and began the necessary but slightly depressing process of collecting all their things and repacking for the journey home. Ziva sat on the bed when she finished, glancing at the clock to see that they still had plenty of time to get to the airport and catch their flight home. It had been such an amazing holiday and she hated for it to end. "I've been thinking about doing something different with my hair."

Tony's eyebrows drew together. "Please don't tell me you want to get it cut."

Knowing how attached he was to her hair, she bit back a smirk and shook her head. "No. I do not think I would like short hair. I have always worn it this way." Ziva tilted her head to one side. "When I was a child my mother spent time brushing it out every night and plaiting each dark wave into a braid so it wouldn't be messy in the morning." She smiled slightly. "Those are some of my fondest memories."

Pleased that she was sharing more readily about her childhood, Tony kissed her and rubbed a curl between two fingers. "What then?"

Coming back from the past, she held out a section and studied it. "My hair was lighter when I lived in Israel because of the constant sunshine. Perhaps I will add some highlights." The idea grew on her as she voiced it out loud.

His gaze roamed over the brown tresses. "I've never seen your hair any other colour."

"A new year, time for a change," Ziva said philosophically. She turned her engagement ring with her thumb. "I will miss this."

Tony fingered his own band. "Yeah, me too." But they'd already weighed the consequences of saying yes and found them still too heavy even after almost four and a half years, so there wasn't any more to be said. He sank down beside her and laced their fingers together. "It was a good week, huh?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "It was a fabulous week. Promise me we will do this again, get away from everything and just be together."

His lips grazed her forehead. "Absolutely. Maybe even this summer. We can book time off that slightly overlaps and find good reasons to be heading for different destinations."

Ziva chuckled. "I'm sure I can come up with something creative in the next seven months."

They both looked out the window at the ocean and another perfect day, enjoying it in silence for a few minutes before Tony stood and tugged her up with him. "Come on, let's go grab some lunch before we head out. One last taste of paradise."

Her eyes twinkled and Tony suddenly found his mouth claimed with such intensity he almost forgot to breathe. He dug his fingers into her hair, the other hand straying a little south of her waist, and left them like that even when she slowly ended the caress. "Wow," he whispered, a shiver running up his spine. The things that woman could do to him without even trying... "What was that for?"

Ziva's sigh tickled his cheek. "One last taste of paradise."

And yeah, this had been about the best vacation ever.

**NCIS**

The first thing Ziva did on the plane was take out her new book, John Berglund's _A Beach Less Traveled_, which she'd been looking forward to since their perfume class on Tuesday. Tony sighed and she looked over. "What?"

"Bored of me already?" he pouted.

Leaning across the armrest, she pecked his lips. "Of course not." His dark gaze was fixed on the innocent paperback in her hands and she shook her head slightly. "Feeling ignored Tony?"

Tony rubbed his jaw. "A little, maybe. Does that always have to be what you do right away?"

Ziva's eyebrows drew together. "Now we are going to fight about something? After such a great ti me away?"

He stared at her, then snapped his mouth closed realizing how it sounded. "Sorry. I just...I guess going back is getting to me too. I don't know how I'm going to handle being only your partner again at work."

She returned the book to her bag and slid her fingers between his. "This has been like living in a dream, yes?"

Tony blew out a breath. "Yeah. And I'm not looking forward to waking up."

"But we are still us Tony. You are my husband, I am your wife, nothing has changed. We will put on a front like always during the day and find our freedom outside that building." She drew her lips over his. "And it will be worth the sacrifice."

He slid his fingers along her jaw, kissing her like his life depended on the gesture. "I love you," Tony whispered fiercely onto her skin. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Ziva kissed him back, scraping her nails lightly down the back of his head. "I know yakiri. I love you too."

They fell quiet after that, each lost in separate thoughts. Then _Iron Man 2_ began playing on screen and his attention was slowly absorbed in the film, leaving Ziva free to return to her reading. This time though she never let go of his hand. By the second movie, however, she noticed his concentration waning. Tony stared absently at the screen, watching but not really paying attention to the film. He kept playing with his wedding ring, pulling it on and off and spinning it around on his pointer finger, a habit that made Ziva nervous lest he drop and lose a symbol she valued quite highly.

His gaze fell to his hand and he stilled, eyes focused on the very visible white line underneath where the gold band had sat for nine sun-filled days. "Zi," he whispered hoarsely, drawing her attention to the spot.

Her eyes widened and she immediately shimmied her rings back to check. With her skin tone tan lines didn't show up as well but they were still present. "Oy vey," she muttered, rubbing her forehead.

Tony shook his head. "Yeah, didn't even think about that." He paused. "What are we going to do? There's no way this doesn't get noticed."

Ziva remained quiet, thinking. It was a crossroads - a reason to either give their secret up or go on keeping it with even greater vigilance.

He covered her hand in both of his, having a pretty good idea where her head was at. "No pressure honey."

Her brow furrowed. "I am not afraid of what telling would do to our relationship, but I do dread putting our partnership at work in jeopardy."

Tony understood the distinction. After so many years he couldn't imagine going out into the field without her watching his back. "So what now?"

She shrugged. "I suppose we can pick up some bronzing lotion tomorrow. It will at least camouflage the evidence." Ziva leaned her head against his shoulder, a little sad to hide the lines as if they were ashamed of what they represented and she wasn't at all. "If we're married ten years will it still be a secret?" It had alternately been hers, then their call, then hers again after the desert. Now the ball was firmly back in 'their' court and there didn't seem to be a right decision to make.

He kissed her ring finger. "Or if we're able to have a child, what then?"

Desperately wanting to caution him not to speak of the subject out loud or say too much about it in case that somehow lessened their already feeble chances, she ran her hand down his chest. "If there was a child we would have no choice, a change like that could not be hidden. And perhaps even before...we will have appointments and tests and many other things before it could actually happen." She swallowed. "But I do not want to tell because our hands are forced. We are brave about everything at work Tony, why not for this too?"

Tony pressed his lips to her forehead. "Because I can't lose you again," he murmured. "And we've spent enough of our marriage separated. Whether it's by physical distance or simply a change of teams I don't want to risk having you taken away from me or having to leave you on your own out there."

She sat up. "I have seen the way he loves us even if he does not say. Gibbs may be angry about the rules but I do not think he would actually split up the team."

"Are you going to tell him?" Ziva glanced to the side and declined to answer. "See?" He pointed out. "And here we stand."

His hand turned, palm aligning with hers, and she folded her fingers securely between his. As with everything else, their best defense against the world was simply to hold on tight and refuse to let go.

**NCIS**

Their layover in Atlanta was longer than on the way there, over two hours, leaving the couple with plenty of time to linger over dinner and reluctantly change into more winter appropriate clothes before finding their gate. Ziva began to feel the early morning after take off so Tony bunched up his jacket and offered it for use as a pillow. She took it with a sleepy 'thank you' and was out moments later. Tempted to follow her, he instead sifted through the St. Martin research papers that had been so carefully compiled and found a mostly blank one on which to compose a love letter.

It began, _To my darling wife _(he could already see her rolling her eyes at the old fashioned endearment), and ended, _With all my heart Tony_. After a quick read through Tony slid the short missive between two pages of her book near the end, confident that his expression of love would make her smile the next time she opened it. Then he joined her for what would be a relatively short nap before the wheels touched down and the plane delivered them back to DC where their resolve to keep hold of newly discovered freedoms and joy would be put to the test in a mere thirty-three hours.

By the time they got through baggage claim and customs and were at their front door it was midnight and the couple was exhausted. A good night sleep was first on the menu, with a brief stop to brush their teeth first. The DC weather had Ziva shivering since they left the airport so she was anxious to turn up the thermostat and get into long socks and fuzzy pjs. Tony observed her when she came out, nearly every inch of skin covered, and sighed. "I'm really going to miss bikinis and tiny lacy lingerie."

She rubbed her arms and went up on tiptoe to catch his lips. "Lingerie is not out of the question until summer, but it needs to be much warmer in here before I am willing to wear so little." Ziva frowned at the small screen which read a chilly fifty-seven degrees. "I do not like being cold."

He hugged her, sliding his hands up and down her back, and chuckled. "Yeah, I got that. So how about you and me in bed sharing body heat to warm up?"

Tired as she was, Ziva rarely felt right refusing her husband sex after all the months he'd been denied when she returned. There was so much to make up for. She bit her lip. "Tony..."

Tony saw where her thoughts were going and shook his head. "That's not what I meant." He covered her mouth with his. "We're both tuckered out, it's been a long day." He nuzzled her neck. "Tomorrow however..."

She rolled her eyes and pushed him away. "You are insatiable." It wasn't the word she meant to use, so at first she couldn't read what the look in his eyes meant.

Flashing back to six and a half weeks of misery and agony thinking he'd lost her forever, his grip on her body tightened. "That's true," he forced out, "because I know I will never get enough of you babe." Nothing would ever make him forget a month and a half of lonely aching nights without her beside him where she belonged. "Take it as a compliment?"

Her expression softened, Tony's fear giving away where his thoughts were, and she touched his cheek. "Always," she whispered, leading him to their room. Ziva only hoped that their dreams here at home would be as nightmare free for both of them as they had been on vacation.

**NCIS**

**Sunday January 2**

"You know I have to go Jethro," Celeste said matter of factly while she sprinkled brown sugar on her porridge.

"Doesn't mean I have to like it," he grumbled.

"Ah, you must be one of those people who don't like change," she teased.

"What do you mean?" he blustered.

"Me, the team, your house. You thrive on routine, controlling your world and knowing where everything fits. But people are spontaneous and you get grumpy when they mess with your order." Her voice grew soft. "I'm coming back. It's only a week."

"A whole week," Gibbs retorted, slamming his chisel on the workbench. "You sayin' this won't affect you at all?"

Lexie bumped her knee and Celeste reached down to rub her head. "I'm going to miss you too Jethro."

He sighed. "Don't admit to weakness very well."

"It's kind of nice to know I'm one of them." She let the statement hang there long enough for him to refute it and smiled at the silence. "I'm sure the team will keep you occupied."

Gibbs ignored that point. "What are you and Lex going to do?"

Celeste swallowed a bite of warm cereal. "Long walks in the woods chasing squirrels - her, not me. Days of peaceful quiet - no phone ringing or cars honking or people making a ruckus next door. Fresh clean air, a nice place to stick my feet in the pond, waking up to birdsong. I'm going to write and read and play fetch with my dog and eat a whole batch of freshly baked cookies. It might be so restful that I won't want to leave."

"Les," Gibbs growled in warning.

She giggled. "Kidding of course. Lexie would miss her dog park friends too much to stay away."

"And you?"

Celeste swirled her spoon through the small pools of melting sugar. "Well, there is one person I might miss, even if he doesn't talk much."

Gibbs sighed. "Need me to stay it?"

"That would be nice."

He ran his fingers over the smooth wood. "I'll miss you Les."

"I'll call as soon as I get back," she offered.

"First thing," Gibbs demanded.

Celeste didn't respond to the request. He didn't need to know how eager she'd be to get to the phone. "I really should get going, it's a two hour drive."

He sighed. "Stay safe. Take your cell."

She rolled her eyes. "Jethro, the whole point of this retreat is to get away from people and technology."

"Don't need to leave it on. Emergencies only," Gibbs argued.

Her nose scrunched. "You won't have Abby track my phone so you can check up on me?"

He hadn't thought of that and briefly considered the option. Finally he shrugged. "Guess not."

"Okay. Then for you I'll take it. But this is quite a concession you know."

Next year Gibbs wondered if their relationship would've moved far enough that he could ask for a greater concession, like bringing him along. He quickly shook the thought away. Things would have to change an awful lot before they were ready for that. "Makes me feel better," he mumbled.

"I-" Celeste stopped, suddenly realize how natural those three little words were when she'd been thinking them for eighteen plus years. But he wasn't there yet and she still had to be patient. She cleared her throat. "Don't be a bear this week Jethro. And I hope you're stuck with cold cases the whole time."

He frowned. "Are you trying to make me miserable woman?"

"No. But I am wanting you out of the line of fire." Celeste hesitated. "Watch your back."

"Have a good time."

She smiled. "Thank you. We'll talk next week." She held the phone down to her dog. "Want to say goodbye Lexie?"

Lexie nosed the phone and gave a quick bark. Gibbs chuckled. "Bye Lex. Be good."

Celeste came back on. "Bye Jethro."

He nodded. "So long Les." The line went dead and Gibbs sighed. It was going to be a long week.

**NCIS**

Despite her hopes for a long lay in their first day home, Ziva was awake shortly after the lazy winter sun rose and she lamented the loss of opportunity before leaning close and kissing the corner of her husband's mouth. She was surprised to find them face to face, though his arm was curled possessively over her waist as if daring her to move without him noticing. She tried anyways, chuckling silently when Tony immediately snuffled, half-awake. "Zi?"

She brought her hand to his face. "I am here. Good morning Tony."

He lifted his head enough to see the clock on her bedside table, though they were both sharing his side of the bed currently, and groaned. "Not as morning as I'd hoped. You okay?"

And just like that some of the carefree island feelings began to seep away. He hadn't asked that once in regards to dreams while they were away. "I'm fine."

"Good."

Ziva shifted, sitting up a bit, and tried to figure out what felt different about their room. Then she realized she wasn't cold and looked at her husband with raised eyebrows. "Did you turn the heat up during the night?"

Tony pressed his lips together. "Maybe."

"And did you think that would earn you some...favours this morning?"

He kept his eyes on the blanket and shrugged. "A guy can hope."

She made him wait a moment longer, then lifted his chin and drew her lips over his. "You were right."

Sometime later both halves of the couple were relaxed and satisfied and Ziva kissed her husband one more time. "I think I should call Aunt Nettie. Would you like to join me?"

Tony watched her get out of bed and choose slightly cooler pyjamas. "Sure. I'll make us something hot to drink while you set it up."

Aunt Nettie was, as always, delighted to hear from them and even more thrilled to be briefed on the highlights of their vacation. It was wonderful to catch up with her and at the end plans were made to talk again soon. When they finally said goodbye Tony turned to his wife. "Are we going to basketball practice today?" He hadn't originally planned on that, but it wasn't like they'd be going back to sleep now.

Ziva considered the question. "That would be the best way to get our dog back." She'd missed Meira this morning.

"Okay then." He stood. "Breakfast first. What's your pleasure m'lady?"

She opened her mouth to suggest a dish and suddenly remembered. "We cleaned out the fridge before we left."

"Oh, yeah." Tony chewed on his lip. "I can run to the bakery."

Ziva brushed her mouth over his. "Wonderful idea. I will shower while you are out."

He was about to suggest waiting and showering later together, but he did get wake up sex already and it wasn't like he needed to shadow her every second of the day. They'd experienced quite a lot of quality together time on St. Martin, maybe it was a good idea to give her a little space. "Okay. Be quick."

She was already in the bathroom when he grabbed his keys and grudgingly donned a winter jacket, missing board shorts and Hawaiian shirts.

Two hours later they were unpacked, had started laundry, found places for their prized souvenirs - including Ziva's painting displayed prominently on their bedroom wall - and even went through accumulated mail. The only thing left to do was grocery shop and they decided on doing that after practice. Before they left Tony suddenly remembered his phone was still charging in the office where he'd found it completely dead earlier. Grabbing the device, he powered it up and wasn't surprised to see several missed calls and text messages. The gang and team weren't ones to forget to wish him well on a special occasion and they'd missed two by being away. There was also a handful of voicemails, one in particular that caught his attention and he put it on speaker so Ziva could hear as well.

"Hi...Son, it's...Dad. I just wanted to call and wish you a Merry Christmas." The older man sighed. "I've missed too many over the years for all the wrong reasons, but I'd like to change that now. So, Merry Christmas Anthony. I love you." He paused as if there might be more to say and then hung up, leaving his son somewhat shocked and his daughter in law very proud of him for reaching out.

"Wow," he managed finally. "I did not expect that."

"At least this time he was unexpected in a good way, yes?" Tony nodded and she put her hand in his. "Are you going to call him back?"

"Maybe," Tony hedged, "at some point, when I've had time to wrap my head around the change." He knew that wasn't the answer she wanted and slung his arm around her shoulders. "He made the first move Zi, which I respect. But it's been a long time and I need to think about this for awhile."

She nodded in understanding and went to check her own cell, knowing her reaction would've been far less docile if Eli had dared to try and contact her by phone. As far as she was concerned, that ship had sunk.

Tony and Ziva were already in the car and on their way before a thought popped into his head. "I wonder if it's even on today."

Her eyebrows drew together. "I don't see why not. The only ones not back yet are Adrian and Emma. The children are due in school tomorrow."

His hand covered hers. "Good point. Bet they'll be surprised to see us."

And so they were. Alec, McKenna, and Ryan were overjoyed to see their aunt and uncle and raced for the privilege of first hug. Then Tony and Ziva were eased apart as the guys surrounded him wanting details of their super secret holiday while the girls plied his wife with the same questions. CJ had stayed home today to catch up on laundry and get everything together for Ryan to get into the school routine again come morning. And also, Ziva suspected, because Emma wasn't around. The two newest group wives were fairly tight and a bit more tentative about being fully involved with the ones who'd been there longer.

"So," Cassie asked eagerly once they were situated closely together on the bleachers, "how was it?"

Ziva smiled brilliantly, clasping her friend's hand. "It was so wonderful Cassie." Her eyes strayed to her husband, now warming up on the court. "And though Tony refuses to consider it as such, I felt like we were on our honeymoon, finally. This vacation was everything I dreamed a honeymoon should be like. There was never an end of things to do, we had so much fun."

Allie and Cassie exchanged knowing glances and the more newly married blonde smirked. "You do know what honeymoons are for, right Ziva?"

Despite her best efforts not to blush, Ziva's cheeks still warmed. "Yes. And there was plenty of that as well." She touched her lips, thinking of their time together only a few hours ago. Her voice was even quieter when she spoke again. "I know it is supposed to be only between Tony and I, but Cassie you know especially how we have struggled over the past year in regards to intimacy." Her face practically glowed. "There was none of that this week and I am so incredibly thankful."

Tony glanced up and frowned at her shiny eyes but she shook her head, a genuine smile on her lips so he would know they were happy tears. He grinned and sent up a three point shot because she was watching. Ziva leaned her head on Cassie's shoulder. "I have an amazing husband."

Allie rubbed her back. "We are all extremely blessed in that area Ziva. God is good."

Though many times in her life and especially in recent years the Israeli had doubted that fact, this time she could agree fully. "Yes, He is."

When the game concluded Tony and Ziva followed the Reece family back to their house and were greeted by an extremely enthusiastic Meira. She literally knocked Tony on his back when he bent to pet her, gleefully licking as much skin as she could reach. Ziva gave the dog several seconds before rescuing her husband with a quiet word. Meira immediately heeled, her whole body quivering with excitement as her mistress greeted her using gentle hands and flowing Hebrew words.

After thanking their friends profusely, the couple took their pet for an extra long walk once home and left her loose in the backyard to get some fresh air and chase the few leaves still left on the maple tree that a stiff wind was determined to knock down. They got in the car again for the much needed grocery shopping trip and an hour later dragged themselves inside, arms laden down with plastic bags. Meira seemed to think it was her job to inspect each item as it was taken out and she especially approved of the new dog treat bag, which was then opened and a couple dispersed as a welcome home gift.

Once all that was taken care of Tony and Ziva spent the rest of the day relaxing on the couch watching movies, folding laundry, and fixing supper. When it came time for bed Ziva walked into their room holding the tube of bronzing gel, as she'd read it was better for smaller areas than the lotion. There was a weighted silence between them as they took turns - Tony rubbing some onto her ring line and Ziva doing the same for him. Written all over their expressions was the regret of having to cover up the proof of their marriage, but the topic was all talked out and there was no good in bringing it up again. They fell asleep holding hands, Tony cuddled up close behind his wife, both a little bit nervous about what the following day would bring.

**NCIS**

**Monday January 3**

Tony kissed Ziva goodbye in the kitchen and she tasted like Earl Grey, the flavour of tea Cassie had gotten her hooked on. His fingers trailed through her dark hair as he tried to memorize the way it looked falling around her face. By the end of today there would be something different about her and Tony never realized how attached he was to some things staying the same.

Ziva chuckled at the unvoiced thoughts and pressed her lips to his. "It is not so big a change."

His nose wrinkled. "At least you're not getting it cut."

She shrugged. "A trim maybe." Tony's eyes widened and Ziva rolled hers. "Scissors have not touched my hair since Aunt Nettie used them last summer. Honestly, I'm not sure what to do with this obsession of yours."

He lifted several strands to his nose. "What's not to love? The way it smells, the smooth feel of it sliding over my skin, how sensual it is when I get to wash or brush these gorgeous waves, weaving my fingers into it when we kiss and make love." Tony gathered a handful and let it fall slowly back into place. "You've had me since the headscarf came off and a mass of dark curls were freed from an elastic. You did that on purpose."

Ziva slid her arms over his shoulders. "Yes. I was testing your reaction and I got what I expected."

Regret for who he'd been flashed through Tony's green gaze. "And now?"

"Now I love how you look at me because it means more than just lust and wanting me for my body alone." She swirled her fingers through the fine hairs on his neck. "You will still like me even with highlights?"

He claimed her mouth, then dropped a kiss on her nose. "Definitely." Reluctantly he let her go. "When do you 'get back'?"

Ziva considered the question. "Three?" She had plans for her extra time off.

Tony sighed deeply. "I suppose I can manage until then. But not one minute later."

She smiled. "I'll do my best."

Something shiny glittered on her left hand and he pointed. "Don't forget to leave those here." They'd applied the gel again upon waking and the lines were now beginning to fade, something that made him inherently sad.

Ziva softly touched her rings. "A few more hours ahava, I'll remember."

"Okay." He walked slowly backwards. "I love you."

"I love you too. You're going to be late."

Tony checked the clock, muttered something about freezing time, and scratched under Meira's chin. "Enjoy the time alone with her." He left with a wink and Ziva settled at the table to indulge in a cup of tea and a new Spanish book she'd picked up while they were away to kill time while she waited. Anxious to get started on the new change she and Tony talked about, Ziva had been thrilled to grab a cancellation at the salon. In a couple hours one thing on her New Year's resolution list would be ticked off. The others, however, might take some time.

**NCIS**

Knowing that Abby would be in the lab before any of the rest showed up, Gibbs strode in moments after she'd stowed her lunch box in the fridge and hung up her coat. "Gibbs!" she squealed, throwing herself at him. "Welcome back." One of his eyebrows rose and she shrugged. "Not that you've been away. I mean, not that you've said. I just hoped..." She frowned. "What did you do for Christmas Gibbs?"

He held out a square container. "For you Abbs."

"Presents? I love presents." She set it on the desk, pried off the lid, and was met with two rows of sweet smelling rectangles. "Fudge!" she exclaimed, planting a bright red kiss on his cheek. "You sure know the way to a girl's heart."

Gibbs gave her a small smile. "Courtesy of my dad."

Abby's eyes lit up. "You spent Christmas with Jackson? That's awesome! Did you have fun? Was it wonderful? I bet you had a hand cut tree and everything. What kind of decorations do you do in your family Gibbs? Mine had a different theme every year. My favourite was-"

A finger on her lips cut off the flow of words and he leaned in to kiss her cheek. "You ever going to tell me?"

Her brow furrowed. "Tell you what Gibbs? You already know everything."

"Why it's so important to you for us to get along with our fathers."

Abby chewed on her lip, casting her gaze around the lab, and spoke slowly, desperately wishing she could do this part in sign so she didn't have to say the truth out loud. "Because the last thing I said to mine was 'I hate you'. And then he died and I never got to apologize." She swallowed hard. "I don't want anyone else to make that mistake and regret it for the rest of their lives."

"C'mere," Gibbs whispered, drawing his girl into an embrace. "He knew you loved him Abbs. People get angry and say things they don't mean, we've all done it. Doesn't make it okay, but it does make you human."

"But that's the last thing he saw from me," she sniffed, burying her face in his jacket. "I can't ever take that back."

He brushed his lips over her temple. "Hard lesson to learn, but you'll never do it again. You were his little girl and I can tell you from experience that means more than anything you could ever say or sign."

Abby sighed. "Thanks Gibbs. I love you."

Gibbs pulled away and looked into her eyes, repeating the declaration in ASL and adding 'always', which was enough to bring her smile back and all was right in their little world again.

**NCIS**

Tony had been staring at his partner's desk for a full five minutes before McGee felt compelled to say something. "So," he ventured, "where is she?"

"Huh?" Tony looked over. "Who?"

McGee rolled his eyes. "Ziva. She's been gone since before Christmas."

"Oh," he went for innocent, "is that so? Funny, I hadn't noticed."

"You're lying," the probie pointed out. "Jealous?"

"What?" Tony blustered. "Why would I be jealous of Ziva?"

"Not Ziva, but where she is."

"And why does that have anything to do with me?"

"Because you're kind of possessive. And she said she was spending the holidays with a friend." Tim tapped his pen. "We all know she's talking about the guy she met in Miami."

Just because they decided to let people believe that didn't mean Tony had to be happy about it. "Which is another thing that bugs me. Why won't she just tell us his name instead of being so secretive about it?"

"It's her business Tony."

Tony glared. "Can't you be even a little bit curious? Geez, I really didn't train you very well."

"Curious and nosy are two different things," McGee returned pragmatically. "The first one is okay. The second will get you headslapped or castrated depending on who catches you."

He was saved from having to come up with a retort when Gibbs walked in and the day's work began. Tony had only been at work thirty minutes and already he'd begun counting down hours until he got to see his wife again.

**NCIS**

After a delightfully restful afternoon that Ziva used for baking and spending time with Meira, she was anxious to be at her partner's side watching his back. Tucking a small bag freshly made cookies in a pocket of her bag as a treat for her husband, Ziva jumped in her mini and zoomed to work, tapping out a familiar beat on the steering wheel as loud Hebrew pop music flowed from the speakers. As promised she stopped at Personnel first and changed her address from a PO box to their house, as it had been a full year since the team believed she'd gotten her own apartment.

Walking in the squadroom, she put on a bright smile for her teammates. "Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a fabulous holiday."

Tony frowned. "Well aren't you chipper." His eyes belied the tone and he studied her new look, smiling faintly in approval. It really was like a whole new her.

Tim noticed the difference as well. "You changed your hair," he commented. "It looks nice Ziva."

"Thank you."

"Any special reason?"

She shrugged. "New year, time for a change."

"Maybe even a new man?" McGee hinted, but there was no reply. "Are we ever going to meet him?" Ziva merely smiled and didn't answer, leaving the topic open for speculation. He sighed. "At least tell us his name Ziva, then Tony can stop whining about being left out."

"I bet he's some bronzed body builder, all butch and blase," Tony grumbled. "It's going to be something like Zeus, or Thor, or Adonis."

Ziva studied her co-workers and finally gave in. "His name is Rob."

"Rob?" Tony's voice took on an insincere quality. "What a nice little name. And is he the answer to all your hopes and dreams? Does he walk on water and make all the girls swoon?"

McGee frowned. "Leave her alone Tony. It's her turn to have something good happen. At least she's got someone in her life." He focused back on his friend. "I'm happy for you Ziva."

She gave her partner a look of forced patience before turning back to McGee. "Thank you. And I promise, Rob is a good man."

"That's all we need to know," McGee replied, staring pointedly at Tony. The senior agent looked away, fighting his reaction. Although it was just like everything else they did the keep their secret, all omission and pretend, his stomach clenched. He couldn't even stand a practically non-existent guy in his wife's life.

She glanced his direction. "What did you do for Christmas Tony?"

His demeanor did a one-eighty and he leaned back in the chair, fingers laced behind his head, sporting a self-satisfied grin. "Escaped to a tropical island paradise with a beautiful woman who couldn't keep her hands off me."

Ziva's eyes narrowed at the insinuation and McGee snorted. "Yeah, right. In your dreams DiNozzo."

"Oh yes, she is," Tony smirked. "Every night in fact."

Tim's expression was not convinced. "Does this fantasy girl have a name?"

Tony abruptly sat up straight. "Nothing I'm gonna tell you. Back to work Probie. Agent David, you're late."

Ziva twirled her pen thoughtfully, as if considering maiming him with it, then Gibbs came around the corner. "Welcome back Ziver." His gaze scanned the space between them. "Not now, we've got a case." He considered Tony for a moment. "If he's still being annoying later, you have permission. Just make sure he can still walk."

The gleam in Ziva's eyes sent the tiniest sliver of fear through Tony's heart even though he knew she wouldn't actually do it and he grinned. Gosh, he just loved a dangerous woman.

**NCIS**

Tony happened upon his wife as the day was drawing to a close, sitting at a breakroom table and writing on a small piece of paper. He slid into the chair across from her and tried to read upside down. "Whatcha working on?"

Ziva made sure they were alone and pushed the bag of cookies towards him. "New Year's resolutions."

Tony stuffed the first cookie into his mouth and groaned with pleasure. "Ohh...these are amazing." #2 and 3 disappeared in similar fashion and cookie #4 was on its way to be eaten but paused, hovering a few inches from his lips. "Uh, did you want one?"

She chuckled. "I sampled from each tray as they came out. You go ahead."

"Thanks." He slowed down to savour the last two and cleaned crumbs from the table. "Can I see?"

The list was folded and slipped in her back pocket. "Not yet." Ziva tipped her head to the side. "You were bothered by our conversation this morning."

Tony scratched his chin. "Do you really want to get into that?"

"Your story about our trip was walking a thin line."

"Fine line, and I think I've earned it. If we're not telling then I reserve the right to brag, okay? I'm done with imaginary conquests."

"I know," she said softly, reaching over to brush faint remnants of cookie off his lips.

He took a deep breath in. "Consider it payback." Her eyebrows arched. "You're wearing the perfume. At work. When you knew it was going to drive me crazy because I couldn't touch you. Bold move David, very bold."

She chuckled. "I was only having a little fun."

Tony got stuck thinking about not being able to display the way he felt about her around the others and words failed them after that so he stood, holding his hands out to her. "Ready to go?"

Ziva nodded and they walked with fingers linked to the corner of the bullpen before separating and getting coats and bags. Sometimes the weight of the world was a little heavier than others. It did get lighter, however, when they walked in the front door and she practically dared him to do what he'd wanted to when he first smelled the perfume on her. With great pleasure and enthusiasm, Tony did just that.

***Reader's Poll: If I have surplus chapters (it doesn't happen often but I can hope) would you guys rather I post twice a week in that case or hold them over and still update once/week so there isn't such a long wait in between chapters during the times when writing is going a bit slower?**

_Replies:_

_Sue Dooley - I should have said this a long time ago, but thank you for your continued, faithful reviews, they are much appreciated :) I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter and that you like the story, that's always nice to hear. ~Aliyah :)_

_Guest - I'm glad you're enjoying their vacation. I'm ready for it to be over, this part has taken up so much more story time than I expected and it's been a lot of extra work. I look forward to getting on with the rest of the story once they're home. But I agree, not having to deal with the everyday secret and stress has been a nice break for them. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	32. 8x13 Freedom 1

**Tuesday January 4**

When she woke up the next morning Tony was again twirling a lock of hair around his finger. "I think I forgot to mention it, but you look really fabulous with the highlights."

Ziva rolled over, her eyes falling closed again, and snuggled closer. "Mmm. So you do not mind that change?"

He held out a few strands. "Did you get it cut?"

She yawned. "Only an inch and a half or so. The woman said my hair is very healthy."

Tony kissed her nose. "Planning on drifting towards being awake anytime soon?"

"Does the clock say I have to?"

He checked the time. "You've got maybe four minutes before the alarm goes off."

"I will take it," she murmured.

But Tony couldn't leave her alone. "Why so tired?"

Ziva glared, only opening her eyes a slit. "Somebody kept me up late."

His hand slid under her shirt. "I didn't hear you complaining then."

She considered it. "I would never complain. But I am feeling the lack of sleep now."

"I could help you feel a whole lot more alert," he offered, dragging his lips down her neck.

Ziva pushed him away. "Nice try." The alarm buzzed and she sighed. "My four minutes are gone."

Tony only felt a little bad about pestering her. "Tea? Or something stronger?"

Though she didn't drink it as much, coffee was still her go-to beverage for mornings like this. "Coffee please. And I think we will have to take it to run."

"To go." His lips brushed hers. "You can have the shower first, I'll get the coffee on."

She caressed his cheek. "Thank you ahava." Before getting out of bed, she turned to him. "You know I was not serious, right? I will take being with you over sleep in a heartbeat." Ziva stood and smirked. "But next time perhaps we should skip supper and go right to dessert, then falling asleep will not be so late."

Tony grinned. "I'll hold you to that." She quit the room and he leaned back on the pillows. What a great way to start the day.

At lunch Ziva vaguely said something about an errand and left. Tony frowned after her momentarily but quickly conceded that he hadn't been paying full attention this morning when his mind was busy replaying scenes from the night before, so if she had mentioned needing something he likely would've missed it and given the standard, "Uh huh, okay, sure," response of a husband whose thoughts were elsewhere. She came back looking somewhere between relieved and disappointed, an expression he found difficult to decipher, but the next time Ziva looked up she smiled at him and all seemed well. So he never gave it a second thought and as Gibbs was in a more difficult mood than usual all his energy was focused on deflecting the team leader's ire, so he didn't have a chance to bring the subject up later and find out exactly what her errand was.

**NCIS**

Ryan was spending after school with Wes and Breanna so Brent and CJ were alone in the house when he gently broached a sensitive subject. "Christa-Jean," he said softly, earning an immediate frown. "Your cousin was the last one to call you that, wasn't he?"

Her body sagged and she sighed. "Time for that conversation, is it?"

Brent shrugged. "You told me not to ask in front of Ryan."

CJ leaned back against the counter. "Chris' family lived next door to us. My dad and his brother are very close in age and they were always best friends. Chris and I were born only six months apart. He was my cousin, brother, and best friend all rolled into one. We were Chris and Christa from the time we could walk but as soon as he could say it he always called me Christa-Jean." Her breath caught at the memories. "I loved him so much."

He wrapped his arms around her from behind. "What happened?"

She stared out the window. "It was a freezing cold winter afternoon and I wanted to go skating on the pond in the woods behind our homes. Chris was always up for anything I was. We didn't...we didn't know the ice in the center had gotten thin from a thaw when we decided to race, and I lost my best friend because he got there first."

Being intimately acquainted with loss, Brent could easily understand a hurt that deep. He kissed her cheek. I'm so sorry honey."

CJ pushed away from him. "Yeah, so was everyone else, but that didn't change anything." She rubbed her forehead. "My aunt and uncle, who were more like second parents, moved shortly after the funeral. Said it was too hard to see me every day without their son. My dad last his best friend and I thought it was my fault. The day Chris died I renamed myself CJ, banning Christa-Jean to the past forever. No one was allowed to call me that again."

He went to her, folding his fingers between hers. "Do you still blame yourself?"

She shook her head. "No, not now. But it stuck with me for a long time. I closed myself off from everyone, afraid of what would happen if I let them get close. And I know it's just an excuse, but I've wondered if starving myself of affection is part of the reason I gave Jason whatever he wanted, so I wouldn't be alone anymore."

Brent cupped her cheek. "Sometimes we make mistakes, we're all human. But you've been forgiven and Ryan is an incredible gift that came out of that situation."

"I could never regret my son," CJ stated firmly. "But there are a lot of things I wish I'd done differently." _Like cutting my parents out of my life, wasting years when they could've been getting to know Ryan._

"If that hadn't happened, you think you'd be going by your full name now?"

She wrinkled her nose. "I don't know. I might've eventually shortened it to Christa." One shoulder shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe I still will...someday."

"You let me call you Kris," he pointed out.

CJ kissed him lightly. "I wanted to attach something good to that name."

"I'm honoured," Brent murmured, catching her lips again.

She nestled against his chest and gave a contented sigh. As she'd been so fond of discovering these past several months, there was no safer place than in her husband's embrace. And she knew from the way he'd handled this first one that Brent could also be trusted with the rest of her hardest stories. But they had a lifetime to learn about each other, some things CJ didn't want to rush.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday January 5**

"Ziva, I'd like you to meet someone," Duke called when she walked in. By his side stood a man of average height with close cropped dark hair and an athletic build. "Derek Kelley, Ziva David. She's one of my most highly trained members." They shook hands and Duke smiled. "You mentioned on Monday wanting to brush up on some skills. Derek's a master in Krav Maga and he's coming on as a trainer here."

"Former Mossad, huh?" Derek asked and gestured to the ring. "Shall we?"

As if the whole thing had been preplanned all of the other people in Ops stopped what they were doing and gathered around to watch the show. Aware of their sudden audience, Ziva still kept her entire focus on her opponent. They started slow, facing each other and trying to read each eye and body movement before striking. Derek attacked and Ziva countered, moving so fast even he was caught off guard, but he recovered quickly and parried. Bets began changing hands and cheers rose as members sided with one or the other.

Derek and Ziva quickly fell into a rhythm born of long experience and she was surprised at how good it was to test herself and be challenged by another person. Not since fighting Liat had she felt so evenly matched and sometimes surpassed. There was a brief moment of stunned silence when Derek took her down - something the men training at Ops had thought impossible for mere mortals - followed by enthusiastic whistles when she put him on the mat right after and just as suddenly as it started the sparring session was over.

Inside the ring Derek shook her hand again. "A pleasure Ziva."

She grinned. "I enjoyed that quite a lot. We'll have to do this again soon."

"Of course." He gave a little bow and Ziva joined her smirking trainer. "Feeling pretty pleased with yourself?"

Duke chuckled. "Yup. Been awhile since I've seen you bested. It's a nice change."

"Do not get used to it," she scoffed. "I will only get better."

That night as they were getting ready for bed Tony took immediate issue with the new bruises he discovered. "I thought you said Duke doesn't actually hit you."

Ziva, on the other hand, sported her bruises like badges of honour. "They are not from him. I was fighting with the new trainer tonight."

His eyebrows rose. "What else could he possibly need a trainer for? The man already offers every kind of fighting skill I've ever heard of plus a few I think he made up just to confuse me."

She bit back her amusement. He had a point, Duke did employ several very skilled trainers. Jeremy headed up the MCMAP (Marine Corps Martial Arts Program), Trish and Julie taught self-defense that included moves from various martial arts like Judo and Tae Kwon Do. Brandon did the MCCTP (Marine Corps Close Combat Training Program) and Devin took care of kickboxing and various other things. They were also all certified personal trainers and pushed their clients hard. When a gym was full of service men and women, the main goal was to bring them home safe and in one piece.

"The new person is Derek and he is a master at Krav Maga."

Krav Maga, a style of fighting favoured by Mossad. He'd checked it out on YouTube once - fast and dangerous looking, exactly something she'd love normally but given the fact that she grew up learning the skill it hadn't exactly been a choice. Tony's heart sank and he cleared his throat. "So I guess our...run in with the Israelis gave you a taste for it again?"

Ziva understood his reticence but chose not to cater to it. "Fighting with a currently trained member of Mossad showed me how much my own skills have slipped in the last few years. I need to be ready for anything ahava."

He gave her a non-committal grunt. "Right."

"Besides, it felt good not to have to hold back, and to be opposite someone who is better than me at something."

Tony's emotions swung from jealousy because he couldn't compete with her in any kind of fighting, to desperation because he wouldn't be there to keep her safe and watch her back. It was too hard to see her get hurt, as much fun as it was to observe his wife in action and full on combat mode. Finally he sighed. "Aren't you supposed to tell me you won?" It was a reference to a conversation they had a couple months ago.

She appreciated his sacrifice of not saying anything more and pursed her lips. "I suppose it was a draw. This time."

Tony laughed quietly at the caveat and brushed his lips over hers. Whoever the guy was, he had no idea what was coming to him. The wrath of Ziva David-DiNozzo would be a spectacular sight to behold.

**NCIS**

In his basement Leroy Jethro Gibbs sat on a stool, staring at the small jar of amber liquid he held. Three days. She'd been gone three measly days and he was already unraveling. Just knowing that a phone call wouldn't be coming tomorrow, that she wasn't as easy to reach as dialing those familiar numbers was grating on his nerves. Scraping fingers agitatedly through his hair, Gibbs stomped up the stairs and again pulled out the project he'd been working on since September. There was still another year left before he'd need to be finished but at this rate, working on it every time he thought of Celeste (which was a lot), the entire thing would be accomplished long before then.

Heaving a sigh he picked up his carving knife and a small piece of wood, continuing to carefully cut it into just the right shape. While staying in Stillwater, where the whole idea began, Gibbs had managed to get several of them roughly carved, worrying about sanding and adding the finer details later. Now he was going back over each and doing final additions before smoothing them. The second part of what would be Celeste's Christmas present required less fine work but was more time consuming because of the staining required and he was leaving it for last.

Glad he'd chosen something that would rightfully occupy his hands and minds for months more, he focused on the work so he wouldn't have enough energy left to talk himself out of caring for Celeste, wanting her close, knowing she was safe, and longing to hear her voice. He could just as easily be cold, numb, and unfeeling towards her and completely drive her away, as he could slowly let his heart open up and allow her back in to heal the old wounds that really hadn't been her fault in the first place. As it was, he would be extremely glad to see the week come to a close. Some things he didn't want to get un-used to, having Celeste back in his life was very high up on that list.

**NCIS**

**Thursday January 6**

"Good morning sweetheart," came a quiet whisper in her ear.

Ziva rolled towards the voice and nestled herself in her husband's arms. "What time is it?"

"Shortly after five."

She frowned and cracked one eye open. "Why are you awake?" He was rarely up before their alarm ordered him out of dreaming.

His lips brushed over her fingertips. "I was thinking that you probably worked out hard enough last night to skip your run this morning."

It was a generally accepted fact that every once in awhile he could bribe her to skip that part of the routine. "But I could be very out of shape from vacation." Her argument was less convincing with the smile crawling across her lips.

"Yeah, right," Tony scoffed. "I think we got plenty of 'exercise' on vacation."

Ziva smirked. "So what plans did you have now that there is so much time remaining before work?"

"Oh, I see where you're going with this." He smoothed some of her hair across the pillow. "No Mrs. DiNozzo, you cannot entice me to stay in bed with your seductress ways. We are going out."

She smacked him for making it seem like she was the one suggesting bedroom activities and both eyebrows jumped up. "Out? At quarter after five?"

"Yup." He popped the 'p' and slid away from her. "Put on something warm. It is definitely winter again."

Momentarily giving up her quest to discover an answer and acquiescing to his demand, Ziva did as she was told and bundled herself up in no less than four layers, which had Tony shaking with mirth. "Seriously? What are you, part Eskimo? It's not a freaking blizzard out there."

Her bottom lip protruded in the imitation of a pout, something he found both adorable and sexy. "I do not like to be cold."

"Right." Tony planted a searing kiss on his wife's lips and led her towards the door. "Come on, you'll thank me for this shortly."

"That remains to be seen," she replied haughtily.

With hands encased in warm gloves they walked four blocks from their house and he stopped in front of their favourite bakery, holding the door. "After you."

Ziva's eyes brightened and she took a deep breath of bakery air laced with fresh bread, pastry sweetness, and the telltale richness of perfectly brewed coffee. "You're forgiven," she murmured, unwinding her scarf and pulling off gloves.

They made small talk with the owners, a jovial husband and wife who knew their customers and took great pride in remembering usual orders. Then she got them a cozy corner table on which to set steaming mugs of sugared caffeine while Tony brought over the plates bearing their preferred delicacies. Ziva bit into a warm, flaky croissant and moaned with pleasure. "Mmm...this is definitely worth losing sleep over."

"What?" he grinned. "The awesome baked goods or time with your fabulous husband?"

She patted his arm affectionately. "Definitely the baked goods." Tony feigned an expression of hurt and she rolled her eyes. "Of course I mean you." Ziva leaned across to kiss him lightly. "I will always pick you as my favourite."

Tony grinned like nobody's business and sat back, reveling in the compliment. "Good to know."

A little while later when they were both fresh out of the shower (he'd talked her into sharing and promised to behave himself and not make them late) Tony came into the bathroom in the middle of buckling his belt and stared at the brown sweater she was wearing. "I remember that."

She glanced over. "Do you? I found it in the wrong drawer. I cannot recall the last time I wore it."

He flashed back to a late night in the bullpen, his wife preparing to leave for a visit with Aunt Nettie too soon after they'd been reunited when Gibbs reassembled his team in DC following the consequences of Jenny's death. "You uh, had it on the night you went back to Israel a couple years ago." His eyes ran over her again. "Looks good on you, comfortable and classy." He managed a grin. "You've always had a great style Zi."

Ziva walked over and drew his face down to her level, kissing him long and slow to combat anything negative in his head. "Thank you."

Somewhere after lunchtime the boss reacted a bit more violently than usual to his senior agent's antics and left in a foul mood. Tony rubbed the back of his head and frowned in the direction of the elevator. "What is up with Gibbs these days? I know I didn't do anything to deserve that one."

Ziva glanced thoughtfully over her shoulder. "He has been a bit...on edge this week."

Her husband snorted. "That's putting it mildly. He's acting like..." He trailed off and his eyes bugged out. "Oh. My. Gosh."

She stared back. "What?"

Tony's voice dropped to a whisper. "He's acting like me."

That answer clearly did not make sense once run through Ziva's translator. "I beg your pardon?"

"Don't you see Zi? He's acting like me, like I do when you're gone for some reason." A Cheshire cat grin spread across his face. "I think Gibbs has a girlfriend."

The possibility didn't seem entirely ludicrous to Ziva. "That would be...good," she said slowly, thinking through the concept. "It does not, however, explain why he has been so growly today."

"Grouchy. And the lady is probably out of town or something. Which means Leroy Jethro Gibbs has a heart after all, one not made of stone, and he's actually pining away for a woman." Tony shook his head in disbelief. "If it was anyone else this blackmail material would assure me of a whopping big favour. As it is, we may not survive the separation."

Ziva laughed at his conclusion. "Dramatic much DiNozzo?"

His nose wrinkled. "Yeah, well, you aren't the one losing brain cells because of forceful, repeated headslaps. I think I deserve a little sympathy here."

She rolled her eyes. "I will kiss it better when we get home."

Tony's face lit up hopefully. "Really? Because I think that might do the trick." He pondered the situation for a moment, brow furrowed in concentration. "Hey, do you remember that woman we saw Gibbs with on your first case? His 'mysterious redhead'?"

"The one you told me not to ask about? Yes." Ziva always recalled the hurt look on Jenny's face when she witnessed Gibbs walk that woman to the elevator and kiss her cheek.

"I wonder whatever happened between them? I mean, we saw her a handful of times over a couple years and she was always smiling. Gibbs seemed happy to see her. It's too bad she didn't stick around."

"How do you know she did not?" his wife asked, one eyebrow arched.

"Come on," he scoffed. "Gibbs couldn't hide that from us. Not if he'd had a woman like that all this time."

She stared across the bullpen. "This is Gibbs we are talking about, yes? We only ever know something about him because he allows it. If he did not want us to know, we would never even suspect."

"Huh," Tony mused. "Then what do you think he wants us to know this time? Because I am definitely suspecting something."

"He should have a right to be happy, the same as anyone else."

"Anyone in particular, Miss Dah-veed?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

Ziva was saved from needing a reply when McGee came back from the lab, where he and Abby had been having a similar conversation, and all personal talk between the partners ceased. Their eyes, however, never shut up.

**NCIS**

A very sweet kissing scene in the evening's movie prompted them to do the same and when he broke away Ziva's gaze remained fixed on his lips, her thumb tracing the bottom one almost reverently. He studied her expression and tightened his arms around her. "Zi?"

She leaned in and claimed his mouth softly, smiling when he turned his head to brush his lips over her palm. She closed her eyes, savouring the sensation, and quietly asked, "What would you do if this was the only part of me you could touch?"

Confusion shadowed his features. "I don't get it."

Ziva shrugged, holding her hand up. "If, for some reason, this was the only place I could handle being touched, what would you do?"

He felt like she was playing a game he didn't know the rules for and cradled her hand in his. "I suppose I would do my best to make you feel cherished despite any limitations."

"Show me," she whispered and suddenly Tony caught on.

Wearing a rather roguish smile he blew on the inside of her wrist, pressing a tender kiss to the area when she shivered involuntarily and pausing long enough to feel her pulse speed up under his lips. Moving onto her fingers, he slowly caressed each one with his lips, lingering on the fourth where her rings glinted in the light. Feeling the heat from her skin and imagining quite rightly that the rest of her body was reacting to his attention, he took the tip of one finger into his mouth and sucked gently. Ziva made the sexiest little sound and his eyebrows jumped up. "Need some variety in our foreplay Mrs. DiNozzo?"

She eyed him impishly. "I suppose I could've just told you I was ready to try more...creativity when it comes to bedroom activities and how we get there, but this was much more fun."

Tony dispensed with all pretense and kissed his wife deeply, passionately, in a way that could only lead to one other thing. Giggling, Ziva escaped his hold and danced towards their room, throwing herself into his arms when he chased after her. Holding her off the ground, he possessed her lips fervently, getting entirely lost in the waves of emotion crashing over them. Unable to wait any longer he let go only enough to strip off her shirt, protesting even the slight distance between them while she returned the favour, then eagerly ran his hands over the familiar planes of her body.

She nipped at his earlobe, whispering something he didn't quite catch, and Tony buried his hands in her thick mane of curls, breathing hard. "Exactly how creative were you thinking babe?" This time the words were quite clear and he only had a moment to appreciate that their new freedom had indeed followed them home from St. Martin before Ziva backed away, crooking her finger at him to follow. Hardly needing the encouragement he did, closing the door behind them. It was time to shut out the rest of the world and indulge in the woman he loved and the gift of intimacy he was so thankful they were still able to share.

**NCIS**

**Friday January 7**

Ziva was yawning when she pushed open the door at Ops shortly after five am the next morning. After a couple of late nights and early rises she was beginning to feel the lack of rest and eagerly awaited a hopefully blissfully case free weekend during which she could catch up on some much needed sleep. "Good morning Duke," she mumbled as she walked slowly past the desk. Normally she preferred not to speak to anyone until she'd finished her morning workout. As it was now, she was still going to have to explain to her husband why she'd disappeared without notice from their bed on a day when no run was scheduled. But she had something to do once they got out of work and needed him to think she was going to the gym as usual, which meant she'd have to be back in bed before their alarm went off and try not to act as if she'd been up to anything.

Duke stopped her before she made it to the changerooms. "Hold it. Ziva, what are you doing here? I haven't seen you here on an open since you got married."

She did her best to look more alert than she felt. "I'm not coming tonight."

He crossed his arms. "Would've kicked you out if you tried. I draw the line at twice a day."

Her nose wrinkled. "I am not on restriction anymore."

"And this is my way of making sure you don't end up needing to take it easy again. Call it tough love." His gaze landed on her bare left hand. "Trouble in paradise?"

For a moment Ziva blinked at him stupidly, then it came to her that he always saw her after she was changed for a workout, rarely before, and depending on the day she may sometimes have been proudly sporting her rings. Now that she thought about it, the solid gold band on his left hand hadn't been absent a day in as long as she'd known him, but that was a part of his life Duke kept very close to his chest. "I do not wear them to work," she said at last, very much needing to be on the treadmill so she could get some blood pumping to her brain.

"Fair enough. Am I going to have to supervise you?" She frowned. "You look like a zombie."

"Just what every girl wants to hear," she quipped, relaxing her stance. "I know how to work the machines. Go be bossy to someone else."

"You say that but I know you don't mean it David," Duke grinned. "Where would you be without your faithful trainer?"

"Lost I suppose," Ziva admitted. "You are taking up my time. I have less of it today than usual."

"Get out of here," he waved her off and she hurried to get changed. Five minutes later she set out at a fast clip on the treadmill, lost in the pace and beat of her music, hoping she'd be able to convincingly pull off the charade without Tony sensing that something was off. It was supposed to be a surprise and she didn't want to ruin it.

**NCIS**

She managed to get through her workout and be back at home in bed before their alarm went off. She brushed her lips over his, said good morning, and patted his chest as she called the shower first. That was code for 'You have five minutes of sleep left, use them well'. Normally Ziva was pretty speedy in the bathroom, force of habit, but today she just couldn't force herself to go any faster. It surprised her to see Tony leaning against the counter when she got out and wrapped herself in a towel. "Hi."

He approached and drew her into his arms, molding his mouth to hers for a long moment. "You seem a little off this morning." She lifted an eyebrow and he elaborated. "I just clocked you at a ten minute shower. That never happens when you're in there by yourself."

Ziva traced a pattern on his bare chest and wished to go back to bed. "This has been a long week ahava. My body still thinks it's on vacation."

His lips quirked up but the green eyes boring into hers remained serious. "Okay then. Dr. DiNozzo prescribes sleeping in for you tomorrow Ms. David. We don't want you getting sick."

That exactly fit her plans for the next day and she smiled indulgently. "How thoughtful. Does that mean you are walking Meira in the morning?"

Tony was of the mind to let Meira out and return to slumber beside his wife, so he shrugged one shoulder. "I'll make sure she's taken care of."

"My hero," Ziva said softly, walking past him to start doing her hair.

He watched her closely all day, weighing whether or not he could get away with suggesting she skip Ops tonight. But he'd already talked her into giving up yesterday's run, two days in a row didn't seem fair when he knew that was her outlet. It was a moot point anyways because once they exited the building Ziva pecked his lips quickly and headed for her car. He frowned briefly and called after her, "So, I'll see you in an hour?"

She glanced over the top. "Give or take." Her gaze flickered towards the doors. "You are not staying?"

Tony shook his head. He didn't want to admit to her, but their late evening and early morning activities coupled with less than the recommended hours of sleep were taking a toll on him too. Still, he fully agreed with his wife that he wouldn't trade their time together for anything, not even more rest. "Not tonight. What did you feel like for supper?"

Ziva mulled over the choices. "Risotto?"

He flashed a grin. "It'll be waiting for you Bella. Ci vediamo presto." _See you soon._

She responded in kind and departed, leaving Tony wishing they were still on the island with nothing but each other requiring their attention.

Ziva drove around the block to be sure Tony wouldn't notice her going the wrong direction and continued to her destination. When she'd first arrived in DC she attended Temple right away to get a feel for the Jewish community, and to this day she still kept tabs on that part of her world. Now at long last the knowledge was coming in handy. She pulled into the parking lot of a beautiful, quaint little shop called Chosen Inspirations run by a kindly old man named Benjamin Farber. Walking in the door Ziva immediately appreciated the serene atmosphere and impressive selection of merchandise. A tinkling bell brought the proprietor in from the back room and he stood at the counter smiling. "Erev tov. Good evening. How may I help you today?"

She answered in her native language. "Shalom. _I have heard this is the place to come for quality custom work. I am hoping you can assist me with this._" A rough sketch of what she wanted was set in front of Mr. Faber. "_What do you think?_"

Benjamin studied her first before the drawing, looking puzzled. "_Have we met before?_"

Ziva scrutinized him. "_My memory for faces is quite good, I do not believe so. But I have been to Kesher Israel before._" She guessed he would be more Orthodox than Reform and purposely chose that synagogue.

He nodded slowly. "_Perhaps that is it._" His attention turned to the paper. _"Do you already have the necessary pieces for this?_"

She sighed. "_I have only been able to locate one. I was hoping you could supply the rest_."

"_Let us see what we can find._" Mr. Faber led her over to one section on the wall and gestured to several rows. "_Is there anything here that matches what you are looking for?_"

Ziva perused the items very carefully and finally selected one in silver. "_I believe this will do._"

"_Wonderful._" He carried her choice back to the counter and looked at the drawing again. "_I should have no trouble with the back or joining the pieces. You have a note here about engraving, is something prepared?_"

She flipped the paper over so he could see the words she'd worked so hard on. "_This is what I would like._"

Benjamin read over the lines, his brow furrowed. "_Anthony DiNozzo?_"

Ziva's expression was just as perplexed. "_My husband, yes._"

His hand trembled and he stared closely at her features. "_What is your first name?_"

"_Ziva,_" she said slowly, concerned when he paled. "_Are you alright?_"

He backed away and disappeared behind a curtain, returning only moments later with a thick album. _"I keep photos of all my custom work._" Pages flipped rapidly and then he stilled, turning it to face her. "_Now I know why you looked familiar. What I do not know is how this is possible._"

Ziva blinked back tears as she saw her own picture on a plaque beside the bronze square Tony had chosen for her epitaph. "I didn't know he came here." She slipped into English at the thought of her husband, Benjamin followed suit.

"I remember such a brokenhearted man. He was quite convinced of your death." The question was not asked but his phrasing invited an explanation.

"I was...out of the country for work. There was an...incident with the ship I was traveling on. My husband was misinformed."

Benjamin could tell how carefully she was picking her words and guessed at her occupation but did not bother to confirm. "I am very glad that report was untrue. How long before he found out?"

Ziva looked away. "Six weeks." Six very long agonizing weeks that she fully believed he would never recover from. Tony would carry with him always the crippling fear he'd felt during that time period. The fear of reliving that loss would always be part of their lives.

He put his hand over hers. "I am sorry for the time you lost."

There was too much understanding and compassion in his gaze. She smiled bravely. "I am so thankful for the years that were saved."

Both were silent momentarily, then Mr. Farber cleared his throat. "I should have it ready within the week. Is that acceptable?"

She took a deep breath. "Yes. Thank you." Ziva turned to go but looked back at him. "Thank you for taking care of my husband when he came in."

Benjamin gave a small vow. "It was my pleasure. I hope you know how much he loves you."

"Yes," she whispered as she walked out, "I do."

**NCIS**

**Saturday January 8**

The next morning Tony flopped on the bed after he decided she'd slept long enough (well after their usual waking hour and enough to concern him when he remembered the first two days she was home and a comatose thirty-six hours that made him need to check if she was still breathing) and cheerfully announced it was time to get dressed. Groaning, Ziva dragged his pillow over her head to block out the sound. He chuckled and tugged it away. "Come on beautiful, you're going to love this."

She didn't open her eyes. "Can I love it in a couple of hours?"

Tony blew on her ear. "I bet Jules misses you."

At that Ziva woke up fast. "We're going to see the horses?"

"Of course. Didn't I promise?"

She twined his chain around her fingers. "You are very good about keeping them."

He dropped a kiss on her nose. "I do my best. Now get up, breakfast can be to go."

Twenty minutes later, dressed and bundled up with bagel sandwiches in hand, the couple headed out to the car. Their drive passed quickly and while Tony took care of signing them in, Ziva stripped off her coat and made herself approach Jules' stall at a sedate pace. "Shalom yafi," she greeted her horse. Jules whickered softly and stepped to the door, hanging her head over and asking for attention. Ziva scratched her forehead and ran gentle fingers down her neck. "It seems like forever since we were last here."

When Tony strolled in Jax whinnied and he grinned. "Yeah, nice to see you too buddy. Been staying out of trouble lately?" He caught the expression on his wife's face and loved that joy. "Doesn't take much to make you happy, huh? Just hanging out in a smelly barn once a week?"

She slid her arms around his waist. "I love you for caring about what matters to me."

He cupped her face, dipping his head to catch her lips. "That's my favourite part of the job," he managed in a husky tone.

Ziva kissed him once more and went back to her friend, but Jax had to butt Tony pretty hard with his head before the man could tear his eyes away from his other half. She never ceased to amaze him.

**NCIS**

**Sunday January 9**

It was harder than she thought, making herself slip out of a warm cozy bed and the comfort of her husband's arms so she could get on with her plans for the morning, but the result would be worth it. Since their usual Sunday basketball practice was cancelled due to Cassie's dad's wedding, they had the whole day to themselves and Ziva had been looking forward to this since they returned from holiday. Dressing in thick socks, worn jeans Tony always said fit her perfectly, and a long sleeve shirt, she pulled the top half of her hair back in a clip and quietly left the room.

Taking Meira out was the first order of business and they covered the distance swiftly. Once back in their warm house Ziva started coffee, began slicing fruit, and got out the rest of the ingredients for breakfast. As she'd expected, the rich smell of Jamaican Mocha lured her sleeping husband out of sleep and he appeared at their bedroom door, yawning and stretching. "Hey," he mumbled, trying to force himself into alertness. She paused her preparations long enough to pour a mug of coffee and bring it to him. "Thanks." He caught her around the waist when she tried to walk away and drew her close again. "Nice try, but you didn't say good morning."

A slow smile crawled across Ziva's face and she skimmed her fingers lightly over his sandpaper stubble, pressing her lips to his. Tony paused for a moment just to enjoy the sensation, then deepened the kiss until she pushed him away gently, hurrying back to the stove to rescue the food. He made his way over there and folded his arms around her, burying his face in her neck. "Good morning."

She glanced over her shoulder. "Good morning."

He glanced over the spread she was putting together. "Are we celebrating something?"

"Yes," Ziva answered, making sure everything was fine before she turned around, "you."

His brow furrowed. "Me?"

She tilted her head. "Don't you know what tomorrow is?" Tony stared at her blankly so she filled him in. "It is a very significant anniversary for a very special senior agent."

The light dawned and he stared at her. "Wow. I can't believe you remembered."

Ziva shrugged. "There are times those dossiers come in handy."

He planted one hand on either side of her. "So that explains why I'm being treated to French toast and bacon. But I would've been perfectly happy to help you make it so we could've both slept in." As much as he wanted to ask how she was feeling, that question had pretty much been banned since her initial recovery was over. But Ziva read into it anyways and smiled.

"Yesterday was quite relaxing. I am much more myself today."

"I'm glad to hear it." Tony leaned in to kiss her again and she indulged him briefly.

"The food is getting cold."

He bit back the 'let it' and reluctantly removed himself from her space so she could plate their meal and bring it to the table. They ate breakfast holding hands, his thumb absently rubbing over the back of hers while he speared a piece of fruit here and there and savoured the perfectly cooked bacon. He volunteered to do dishes afterwards but Ziva made it quite clear that today was about spoiling him so his assistance was appreciated but not necessary. Instead she pushed him towards the couch with an offer to choose any film that caught his fancy and when the kitchen was clean she took the seat beside him and curled up by his side.

Since breakfast had been more like brunch they forewent lunch in favour of Ziva experimenting with homemade jelly donuts - regular size ones, not the baby kind that she and Aunt Nettie had made once upon a time. There were some fits and starts - it had been years since she watched her mother do it and the process was more complicated than Rivka made it look - but she eventually accepted his offer of help and between the two of them they figured it out. They were covered in flour at the end of the process and their kitchen was a disaster, but my did those fresh warm jelly filled pastries make all the clean up worth it!

For supper Ziva ordered pizza and even went out to pick it up, at which point Tony took his turn as co-dog owner and indulged Meira in a nice long walk while they waited. She came back with not only the pizza but two take out paper cups of espresso, "For old time's sake," was her answer when he asked.

Later, when their movie marathon had drawn to a close, Ziva selected Sinatra from the playlists on his iPod and plugged it into their speakers, holding a hand out to her husband. "May I have this dance?"

Tony eagerly accepted and pulled her into his arms, holding her against him with practiced care as they swayed back and forth around the room. After a couple songs he sighed into her hair. "You do special days pretty well honey, thank you."

She rubbed her nose on his neck, grinning when she smelled his signature cologne from St. Martin. The sneaky man must've put some on when she went to the bathroom and it was definitely having the desired effect. "It is not over yet," she whispered, laughing in surprised at a sudden motion that had him lifting her off her feet. Their intimacy began in dancing, solidified in laughter and passion, and ended with a deep contentment between both husband and wife as they drifted to sleep in the safest place of all - the center of their love.

**NCIS**

Cassie's dad was remarried in a simple service after church with all of their friends attending and the four Reece's as the only family members. Though she'd had a month to prepare and plenty of prayer and advice had been sprinkled through those days, Cassie still had to work very hard not to burst into tears and run from the room when the pastor pronounced them man and wife. As he had since that first phone call Mark stayed by her side, not letting go of her hand for any reason, and when it was their turn to say congratulations he watched Cassie nudge McKenna forward to ask the question that would unknowingly break her mother's heart.

"Miss Claire," she started politely, since they hadn't decided how Matthew's new wife should be addressed yet, "can Alec and I call you Grandma?"

Claire's startled gaze jumped first to Cassie and then Mark, with one nodding more reluctantly than the other, before she looked back at the little girl and placed a warm hand on her cheek. "Sweetheart, that would make me so happy."

A smile burst across McKenna's face and she hugged the older woman, then threw herself into Matthew's arms. Alec did the same, with slightly less enthusiasm, and then came Mark and Cassie. A kiss on the cheek for Claire and shaking hands with Matthew was the extent of his greetings, whereas Cassie offered only her hand to Claire, declining a hug without saying those words. She had to blink back tears when her dad wrapped her in his arms and whispered, "I know this is hard precious, but I'm so glad you're here. I hope one day you can be happy for us."

She swallowed hard. "I'm trying Dad."

"And I love you for it Mattie."

Claire, though she tried to keep from overt displays of affection in front of his daughter, couldn't help grasping Matthew's arm. He was her husband after all and she'd waited so long for this day. "I've heard your father call you that on many occasions Cassie, is there a story behind the nickname?"

Cassie bit her lip and considered her response. After all the promises she'd made about trying to like and get along with Claire, she hadn't been forced into action all that much yet and for her dad's sake she had to not shun the woman. With a sigh she shrugged one shoulder. "My middle name is Matanah, it's the Hebrew word for gift."

"It's beautiful, but rather unusual," Claire observed.

"Mom and Dad looked it up when I was born because that's what I was to them, a gift from God, the only living child of several failed pregnancies." She smiled at Matthew. "Dad has called me Mattie for as long as I can remember."

"What a special memory."

"Yeah," Cassie nodded. "It is."

"And I guess it was my way of adding a bit of myself as well," her father confessed. "My mom called me Mattie when I was a little boy, right up until I decided at thirteen that I was too old for baby nicknames anymore."

Cassie blinked in surprised. "Really? That's what GeGe called you?"

He nodded. "Yup. I guess I always was her little boy."

"The things the youngest one can get away with," Cassie teased, then suddenly realized she was smiling, happy, and her mom hadn't crossed her mind of several minutes. She cleared her throat. "I better go check on the kids."

Matthew watched her go with a bit of a heavy heart and prayed things wouldn't always be so strained, while Claire remembered the easy way father and daughter interacted and hoped that someday she'd enjoy the same kind of relationship with her grown stepdaughter.

Mark fell into step beside his wife shortly after and squeezed her shoulder. "I'm proud of you honey."

She sniffed. "I'm trying so hard Mark, but this is one of the most difficult days since Mom died."

He sighed. "I know. But it's going to get better, I promise."

Glancing back over her shoulder at the newlyweds acting half their age, Cassie sighed. "I sure hope you're right."

**NCIS**

Celeste fumbled with her keys trying to unlock the door and headed straight for the phone, scanning the note from Rosie stating she was spending the rest of the day at her boyfriend's house, and pressed a series of familiar numbers. Her disappointment was acute when it rang through to the answering machine. "Gibbs. Talk."

Sighing, she hung up and sat back on the arm of the chair, feeling a bit silly for being so excited. "Well," she told her dog, "I guess there is one more thing to try." She dialed a number that hadn't changed since the first cellphone he got more than a decade ago and held her breath while she waited.

In the bullpen Gibbs answered his phone without checking to see who it was. "Yeah, Gibbs."

A smile coated the voice he'd been waiting to hear all week. "And here I thought you were ignoring me."

"Les?" He frowned and checked his watch. "I didn't figure you'd be back until later."

"Tomorrow's a school day," Celeste reminded him. "So you weren't avoiding me?"

Gibbs glared at the phone. "I'm at work on a Sunday trying to kill time until I get to talk to you. Does that sound like avoiding?"

"There's no need to growl," she chastised gently, a glow of pleasure coursing through her at his admission. "Did you behave this week?"

"Managed not to spill any blood," he reported. His true reaction to her absence could be hidden as long as she didn't ask the team.

"No concussions either?" Celeste inquired.

Gibbs remembered the decent whack he'd given Tony on Friday for goofing off. "Near miss," he conceded.

"I wish you were here," she divulged quietly. "You always gave good welcome home hugs."

Coming out of nowhere that little tidbit caught him by surprise and considering their friendship label he didn't know how to answer.

Celeste bit her lip. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't've said that." Embarrassed silence filled the line until she couldn't take it any more. "I better go."

Gibbs wasn't ready to lose the connection. "Not yet. Tell me about your week Les." It was hard not to end the sentence with 'honey' instead and he realized, in the vaguest of senses, that he was starting to miss being married to her.

"You first." She sounded defeated and he didn't have a solution because five months hadn't been long enough to start working towards a serious more.

"We'll take turns," he decided, anxious to keep her close for a bit longer. "I'm almost done the hull of the boat. That was most of last Sunday. How was your drive?"

Struggling to get some distance without backtracking on their progress, Celeste hesitated. "Fill me in on Monday while I make tea. I'll have my thoughts in order by then." Lexie licked her hand and she smiled. Best friend indeed.

Gibbs nodded even though she couldn't see. "Okay."

As the conversation progressed Celeste prayed for patience. She'd loved him silently for eighteen long years waiting for this chance. It was too easy to get ahead of herself when the end of the tunnel was almost in sight. Guarding her heart, she resolved to be much more careful from now on. This battle could be too easily lost if she made the wrong move and of all possible outcomes, that one was unacceptable.

_Replies:_

_Debbie - Thank you, that's sweet of you to say. Wow, well, I appreciate that. I do like being original :) I'm glad you could feel the emotions, that means I'm doing my job right. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest - No, I'm not planning to go see The 33. I have to keep my characters confined to the NCIS world and not watch them in anything else as I don't want to mess with the inspiration. I'm sure it will be great though! :)_

_Debbie - I'm glad you enjoyed the trip, it was a nice break for them. Lol...slow and steady wins the race with G&amp;C. It's going to be a long time before they get a few more steps ahead. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Allie - Wow, thank you for such a lovely compliment, that's a sweet thing to say. Lol...well, you're still going to be waiting awhile, I give us at least another year before we get significantly closer to the end of Part 7. I consider re-reading to be an honour, so thank you. I'm really glad you're enjoying it so much. I know the OCs aren't everybody's cup of tea and I assume a lot of people skip them altogether so they can get to more of the TZ stuff. How small is your small town? Mine is 8-10 thousand people and we're right on the lake so I'm kind of spoiled with gorgeous scenery. It's kind of nice to see a fellow Canadian here, though I'm sure there's more than I think. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Syrae (TTATDA) - As a rule I don't really write for other fandoms. The 2 Lord of the Rings oneshots came from me watching the extended version of the movies several times in a couple of months and kind of just popped right into my brain. I love Densi but I never planned to write anything for them, then God gave me the idea and I sat on it for months thinking it wouldn't be any good but finally finished and posted it anyways. I'm glad you like it, it'll probably be the only one. Thanks for reviewing :) ~Aliyah_


	33. 8x13 Freedom 2

_A/N: It would be too hard to explain why so much time has passed since the last update, but I do apologize for my unintended absence. Thank you for your patience, those of you who are still waiting to see where this story goes. I hope to be more consistent posting in the next few weeks but hesitate to make a guarantee since those usually backfire on me. I appreciate the comments and those who checked in with me while I was on this break, it's nice to know you care. Thanks to all who read and review, I'm glad I haven't quite driven everyone away yet with all my ups and downs. I hope you enjoy this newest installment ~ love, Aliyah_

**Monday January 10**

In true Abby fashion where no occasion went uncelebrated there were balloons and streamers festooning Tony's desk when he arrived, along with a giant card signed by the entire office congratulating him on his ten year anniversary of becoming an agent. Having not expected more than a token acknowledgment, he was genuinely taken aback but very pleased that they would go to so much trouble. The whole team was gathered in the bullpen, including his wife who had insisted they arrive at different times today.

As soon as he dropped his things Abby hug-tackled him. "Happy anniversary Tony! Wow, ten years, that's awesome!" Her own decade milestone had passed the previous year and Gibbs did a good job of making it special for her.

He chuckled and tugged a pigtail. "Bet you didn't think I'd last this long."

"Not at first," she agreed, remembering the rocky relationship between Gibbs and his probie during those initial several months before Tony figured out how to handle him.

McGee came forward and shook his hand, offering an envelope. "Congratulations." Tony peered inside at the collection of $1 bills and shot his teammate a questioning look. "Consider it your vending machine stash."

He grinned. "Thanks Probie."

Ziva was next, setting a small white box in his palm. "A Chocoholic's Choice cupcake," she explained, eyes sparkling. "Since you drooled over the one Abby brought me." She conveniently left out the part about willingly sharing it with him.

He tore it open, took a large bite, and mumbled 'thank you' with his mouth full, earning an eye roll from her and a headslap from Gibbs that came with a takeout cup of coffee. "You're good DiNozzo. Rule 5." It was a mirror of his first moments at NCIS when Gibbs left him at Human Resources and walked away. The man never had been big on words.

Tony grinned. "Thanks Boss. I always knew you cared."

"Don't make me regret it," the team leader grumbled, sitting at his desk.

That silent signal put an end to the gathering and their workday began. Lunch hour came before Tony could get a moment alone with his wife by stopping the elevator when they were leaving for food. He presented her with the last bite of cupcake and received a hug in return. Pulling her in tighter, he felt something in her front pants pocket and frowned, dipping his fingers inside to investigate. Holding up the little heart shaped lock, his face grew concerned. "What's wrong? Why do you need this today?"

Ziva took it from him and examined the little symbol. "Nothing bad. I just wanted something to remind me of us."

Tony stared into her eyes, determining truthfulness, and finally relaxed. "That's as good a reason as any I guess." His hand cradled her cheek. "I love you."

Her eyes were half-closed already, anticipating a kiss. "Ani ohevet otcha."

Their lips met and fell into a well known dance, deep and wanting without getting carried away, though he did work his hand under her shirt to caress her warm skin. He broke their connection abruptly when his fingers met the band of her bra and traced it around. "That does not feel like work approved undergarments Ms. David," Tony accused. He continued the exploration by slipping his hand into the waistband of her pants and tugging the neckline on her shirt to get a better look. "Aha! Is that black lace I see?"

Holding in her mirth, Ziva removed his hands from her clothes. "I guess you will just have to wait and see, yes?"

"So unfair." He pouted until she kissed the expression away. "Then again, it does give one something to look forward to."

She turned around and set the car back in motion. "That was the idea."

To celebrate the occasion Gibbs released them early and Abby bounced in to announce a team dinner out at Tony's favourite restaurant, or at least, what she thought was his favourite. No one on the team knew about Travis' diner that the DiNozzos frequented. It was an enjoyable evening to laugh, talk, and reminisce with their coworkers - including a lot of stories Ziva had missed out on before she joined the team - and those happy feelings followed the couple home. Once inside Tony had plans that included peeling away his wife's outer layer of clothing to fully appreciate the lingerie she'd worn just for him. But when he put his hand in his pocket looking for loose change to drop in the dish, his fingers encountered a familiar shape and his brow furrowed as he held it up.

"How did that get there?"

Ziva smirked. "I told you I was good ahava."

His mind went back to their conversation just before the Israelis showed up and their world imploded, in which they discussed her pickpocketing abilities. Tony vaguely recalled a challenge being issued and was suitably impressed. "Wow. Remind me not to doubt your skills again." He couldn't recall a time that day, except at dinner and in the elevator, when she'd been close enough to accomplish the task. But she said he'd never know and she was right. Tony captured her lips. "Ziva DiNozzo, you are amazing."

She looked up at him adoringly. "Anthony DiNozzo, I am so proud of you."

Reason #874 - He loved that she made him feel on top of the world.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday January 11**

The day began like any other, Tony and McGee rode up in the same elevator car and came out of it arguing. Listening to the familiar and slightly unwelcome teasing, Ziva kept her eyes on her computer and did her best to ignore them. A package sitting on Tim's desk caught the attention of both men and when it was revealed to be a blowup doll, their resident class clown was immediately blamed. He took offense. "I'll have you know I've grown past that kind of behaviour, thank you. Now how about checking the return address instead of accusing innocent co-workers, hmm?"

McGee was too busy looking in the box. "The receipt has my credit card information on it. There must be some mistake."

At this point Ziva joined the conversation, concern written on her features. "I would cancel your credit card Tim."

"Right now all I need to do is figure out how to deflate this thing."

Tony started to speak at the same time his partner sauntered across the room and flicked open a knife, offering it to the probie with a smile. McGee frowned. "Uh, thanks Ziva but I think I'll stick with a non-violent method."

She shrugged and returned to her desk. "Suit yourself."

Gibbs was suddenly standing in front of them and McGee looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "This isn't what it looks like Boss."

The team leader surveyed his agent. "Then what is it Tim?"

Use of his first name was never a good thing and though McGee tried to explain, the situation simply wasn't redeemable.

"Lose your gal pal." Gibbs reached for his gun and badge. "Grab your gear. Got a dead Marine in Springfield."

Tony followed Ziva out, chuckling under his breath. "Wish I'd thought of it first." She smacked him lightly and he cleared his throat. "I mean, that's a real shame someone's messing with McGee." His grin, however, made the sincerity of the comment questionable.

Their victim was identified as Sergeant Travis Wooten and when they arrived back at the office some interesting facts came out. His CO's described him as unremarkable, while his wife Georgia seemed to excel at everything she did, was promoted quickly, and received medals and commendations. Tony scratched his cheek. "That's enough to make any guy feel like less than a man." Ziva glanced quickly over her shoulder and he clasped her hand briefly while Gibbs studied the screen. He hadn't been talking about them. He would always be proud of her amazing skills. "The guy recently lost his job and has been drinking. Spends a lot of time at Feeney's Billiards on Columbia."

The most recent charge on Sergeant Wooten's credit card was an hour before his death, which sent the partners out to investigate. When they walked in the door Ziva was on a mission. "I'll look for the owner."

Tony entered at a slower pace, taking a breath. "Ah, I love the smell of fresh felt in the morning."

She wrinkled her nose. "I don't know what that means, and I do not think I want to."

He shrugged. "It's a little _Apocalypse Now_ reference. But never mind, I'm talking about pool tables. Traditionally they're green. For some reason these are red."

Ziva turned around. "I had forgotten you were a pool dolphin Tony."

Tony spun the triangle shaped rack. "Pool shark. And yes I was. In fact, I was the champion of my Baltimore precinct in the late 90s."

"If players are referred to as aquatic creatures, perhaps the tables should be blue." She chuckled. "Late '90s, that was about the time I received my first kiss." Tony looked somewhere between interested and wary and she walked towards the bar. "Never mind."

He caught up with her, touching her arm. "No wait, this is a story I want to hear."

Ziva hedged. "I should not have brought it up."

His eyes searched hers. "It's not taboo. We both have a past before each other."

She wrapped her arms around her waist and looked away. "Please don't."

Tony frowned. "If it was a bad memory you wouldn't've said anything."

"Leave it alone Tony."

At that moment the owner, Len Feeney, appeared. "I know a bickering couple when I hear one."

Ziva flashed her badge. "NCIS."

Tony introduced them. "Special Agents David and DiNozzo. Partners. But we get the couple thing a lot."

Len looked intrigued. "Maybe you should read something into it."

Unwilling to say more, Ziva got down to business. She avoided him after that, as much as she could when they spent their day confined to the same car and bullpen between interviewing and investigating. Tony put up with it until they were let go for the night, then he followed her to the elevator and tripped the emergency stop switch, setting his back against the panel and refusing to budge so she could get at it. Ziva crossed her arms and retreated to the far side, putting a grand total of four feet between them.

"I can hold out as long as you can," he informed her calmly.

The arms dropped and she squeezed her eyes shut. "Tony please."

His brow furrowed. "I don't get why this is such a big deal Zi. It's just a first kiss."

She faced the wall and gripped the railing. "No," she whispered, pain etched across her expression, "it is the context of the first time I mentioned it."

Tony's eyebrows drew together. "I don't remember that ever coming up before."

Ziva turned to him, eyes bright with tears. "When was the last time I talked about kissing someone other than you?"

"I don't-" he began, only to stop, the breath rushing out of him. The night she told him about kissing Daniel on the ship for cover, another betrayal. "Oh."

She watched the memory hit home and fell against the wall. "That is why I did not want to talk about this."

Tony swallowed, stuffing the emotions down because it was old news and they'd dealt with it. He'd kissed Jeanne far more than just a few seconds one night. And though she'd briefly considered more, she hadn't acted on the thought. Mark's advice was still solid - let it go. He moved to stand in front of her and grasped her hands. "I forgave you for that honey, let it go."

Life was never that easy and Ziva knew she'd never stop feeling guilty for what had happened, and what could've.

She wouldn't look at him and Tony forced a light tone. "So, Malachi was your first kiss, huh?"

Grabbing the lifeline he tossed was harder than he knew. Slowly she lifted her gaze from her shoes to him. "Yes. Then Michael punched him and it didn't happen again." The words were almost verbatim from last time.

"Come on," Tony wheedled, "there's got to be more to the story than that."

Ziva gripped his fingers hard, struggling to move past the block. Finally she sighed and pressed her back to the railing. "I was fifteen. Malachi was a few years older than me and to Michael, my protector while Ari was away at school, he was taking advantage of my innocence." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "He is lucky Michael caught us, not Ari. My brother would've done much worse than one punch."

Tony slid his hand up to cup the back of her neck. "Your first kiss, how was it?" He expected frustration with his probing but instead a fond smile curved the corners of her mouth.

"Malachi was quite nice about it. He asked me if he could and I was curious so I said yes. He got a bit enthusiastic and I didn't know what to do when he put his tongue in my mouth. That was the part Michael saw and the next thing I knew Malachi was jerked away and on the ground." She wiped her face in response to the recollection. "A little wet, but on the whole not a bad first." The shadows were slowly receding when she nudged him. "And yours?"

Wanting to stake a claim and overtake every other experience to hold top place on her kissing scale, Tony shoved back the urge and quirked a half-grin. "My mom was the first girl I ever kissed, on the cheek. But as far as lips go...I was thirteen, in boarding school, and it was a dare. I had only just decided that maybe girls didn't have cooties after all and the experience was more than a little embarrassing. I played it up to get a reaction out of my friends, of course, and vowed to practice on every girl who'd give me a chance until I knew what I was doing." He sighed. "I saw my first Bond movie that summer and so began a phase it took me two decades to grow out of."

Ziva gave him the most adorable look. "You can practice on me, if you like."

He snuck one hand under her shirt and cradled her cheek with the other. "You're the only one I ever want to share that with again."

"Good." She caressed his face gently and leaned close, barely touching her lips to his.

Tony shook his head slightly. "No Zi," he whispered huskily, "this is how it's done."

Anticipating his intention, Ziva parted her lips and eagerly accepted the offer. She opened her mouth to him, sending the intensity to a whole other level as he backed her into the corner and launched an assault on all her senses. Tasting - his lips and tongue exploring and thoroughly claiming every part of her he could. Touching - one hand roaming over her lower back and below while the other dug into her hair and held her in place. With her eyes closed everything became sharper - the softness of his hair as her hand slid through it, his firm mouth demanding more, a hint of the French vanilla coffee he'd treated himself to earlier, the fading musk of his cologne, their shared heavy breathing and moans of pleasure as things escalated. She had half the buttons on Tony's shirt undone before either of them noticed and a thought flashed through Ziva's mind to be exceedingly grateful the elevator remained free of security cameras - something they checked from time to time just in case.

Tony moved back several inches with great reluctance and swallowed hard, fighting the desire to have her right here. Ziva's smirk was not helping anything. "Perhaps we should continue this at home?"

It was a minute before he could focus enough to respond, and then he went with a teasing expression and raised eyebrow. "But it's not even bedtime yet."

The way she slouched in the corner and toyed with the neckline of her shirt, adjusting it so a bit more cleavage than usual was showing, did not encourage his self-control at all. "I was thinking before supper."

"A little pre-meal workout?" Tony grinned. "That could be fun. Y'know, if you didn't have anything better to do."

Her eyes darkened as she walked over and hit the switch. "Take me home Tony."

He didn't trust himself to touch her right now. "Mrs. DiNozzo, it would be my pleasure." This was the kind of thing he'd missed so deeply last year. Tony was incredibly thankful that, of everything lost, they'd gotten the fun of intimacy back.

**NCIS**

Mark got home a little after the supper hour to a dark house and a note on the door from Cassie. _A&amp;M at Wes and Breanna's tonight. Supper's in the fridge. Using your Christmas present, back by 7 pm. ~ Love, Cassie_. He grinned because this was definitely progress from last time and hurried back to the car. He knew that gift certificate for private ice time would come in handy when it came to dealing with the changes happening in her life. Five minutes later he was at the skating rink and went in the side door, hovering in the shadows to watch the show.

Cassie was alone on the ice gliding and spinning and jumping and really doing an incredible job for someone who hadn't trained or competed in almost twenty years. He read her body language, though his study was thrown off by the amount she moved, and thought that yesterday's stress and tension had pretty much been worked off by this point. Which was why he put on his own skates from the trunk of his car and stepped out to join her. If she was still upset he would've let her get more emotion out of her system first.

His wife didn't seem him right away but when she did a smile spread across her face and she flew towards him. Mark braced himself for the impact and wrapped his arms firmly around her. "Hi," Cassie greeted. "I guess you got my note."

"Hi yourself." He kissed her nose. "It's not quite a text, but at least it was communication." He glanced around at the empty bleachers. "Have the whole place to yourself?"

"Yep. Donna just told me to lock up when I leave, though I'm sure she probably spied some to see how far her prize student has fallen since the old days."

"Didn't look like you'd fallen at all from what I could see."

She rolled her eyes. "Your memory is clearly failing."

"Nu-uhn," Mark shook his head. "I saw your final competition, remember? Trust me, there's no difference between then and now."

"Age, weight, training-" Cassie began to list the differences she found but a finger on her lips stopped the flow of words and he cupped her face in his hands.

"You will always be as beautiful to me as you were the day we met. You are in amazing shape for a woman who has carried and given birth to two children. And if chasing kids and other people's animals around, plus keeping a husband and his rowdy group of friends in line doesn't prepare you for competitive sports, nothing else will."

Her blue eyes grew shiny from his sincerity and she went up on the tips of her blades to plant a very heartfelt kiss on his mouth. "Thank you." Her fingers curled in the back of his hair. "You always say the right things."

Mark tucked back some flyaway strands of hair. "Not always honey. I learned a lot those first few years. Thanks for not holding the stuff I got wrong against me."

Cassie tipped her head, joy in her gaze. "That's on the list."

He laughed and hugged her tightly. "Boy am I ever glad you read that story. I have a feeling I've gotten away with quite a lot because it's 'on the list'."

She shrugged. "Maybe. But I love you."

"I'll take that any day." He searched her eyes. "Doing okay Precious?" Sometimes he liked to borrow her dad's endearment because that's what she was to him too, just in a different way.

Cassie moved away from him and began skating backwards. Mark was quick to catch up and she turned to face forwards, finding her mittened hand clasped in his. "Okay, yes, and on the outside I hope I pulled that off yesterday because inside I feel like a selfish brat with an attitude problem. I want to do better but so far the other side is winning."

"I don't know," he mused. "I think you've made more progress than you can see."

Her brow furrowed. "Like what?"

"Like going over there for Christmas and bringing her a gift, being pleasant the whole afternoon even after you noticed that Hannah's pictures had been put away. Talking to the kids about calling Claire 'Grandma' and encouraging that question yesterday. Sharing some history with Claire when she asked about your nickname." He squeezed her fingers. "You're doing good honey."

"I'm glad you can see it," she sighed. "Because I am just not there yet."

**NCIS**

Later when the kids were in bed Mark and Cassie sat at the table with hot drinks in front of them for a different topic of conversation. "So, he ventured, "what are we going to do about Friday night?" With Matthew and Claire on their honeymoon and their desire to give her dad and his new wife some time alone while they adjusted to their new life together, as well as Cassie's general unease around the woman, they were left with needing to find an alternative for their usual date night routine.

Cassie sighed. "I hate to ask Tony and Ziva, they need to spend their time together outside of work on them."

Mark disagreed. "You know they would love it. They're some of Alec and McKenna's favourite people. And Ken would be thrilled for more Meira time."

"Maybe once in awhile we could ask, but certainly nothing on a regular basis like Dad did."

"Adrian and Emma have volunteered numerous times to have the kids, so they could be an option next month," he suggested. "What about doing a rolling schedule each month with the gang?"

Cassie shook her head. "I hate to impose on them Mark. They all have their own lives."

He took her hand. "Of which we are an important part. You know right well if it was one of them asking you'd jump on it without hesitation."

"That feels different," she insisted, fiddling with the end of her braid.

"Jordan and Allie might take them now and then," Mark continued, ignoring her desire to give to others but reluctance to accept help in return. "But they're so busy and stressed at work, I don't want to limit their evenings when they need to relax with each other."

"See," Cassie pointed out, "I'm not the only one looking out for the gang."

"Guilty." He tapped a pen against his mug and thought. "Brent and CJ would I'm sure, but Friday is his basketball practice."

"We could change nights I suppose," she offered slowly. "But..."

"I know. I'm really attached to Fridays too." Mark leaned back in the chair. "What about Red? He's always willing to be involved with anything they want to do. They'd love it."

"Yes," Celeste nodded slowly, "I guess we can ask Darien. He is a bit further away but we could drop the kids off at his place."

"Or he could just stay here. We don't necessarily have to make it overnight, just an evening out like we used to do when they were still nursing."

"I'll take anything if it means not breaking this particular tradition."

Mark picked up the phone. "I'll call him right now. Don't worry Cass, we'll make this work."

They would, she had faith, but a part of her wished it wasn't necessary. And they still had to break the news to their children, which might be the hardest thing of all.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday January 12**

Georgia Wooten's visit to NCIS raised all kinds of questions and put her on their suspect list, but the morning's discovery that she was being abused by her husband put a different light on things and sent Gibbs down to Autopsy for a chat with Ducky. "I wouldn't blame her if she did this."

"Nobody would," Dr. Mallard agreed. "But that doesn't make it any less of a crime."

"She never reported it."

"Well, I'm not surprised. The last thing a woman like Gunnery Sergeant Wooten wants is to be seen as a victim."

Gibbs glanced over the body. "No, she's too proud."

"Too weak is more like it," Ducky countered. "She's a classic case of emotional transference. Strong and powerful on the job because she's completely without power at home."

"She was a prisoner."

"And perhaps," the older man suggested, "killing her husband is her one chance of freedom."

Gibbs sighed. "I need her to open up."

"I know Jethro, but I doubt you are the one who will convince her to do so." He hesitated, remembering the fallout of his last confrontation with the Israeli-American agent. "Ziva has been through things you and I can't even imagine, and don't want to. She knows what it's like to be controlled."

Gibbs shook his head. "Not sure I want to poke at those wounds."

"I'm not saying it will be easy, but she may be the only one of us who can connect with this woman."

The team leader sighed, feeling more dad than boss in that moment. "I'll talk to Ziva."

Minutes later he walked past her desk, crooking his finger at her to follow. Ziva did without question, meeting him in the alcove with an open and trusting expression - trust Gibbs felt like he was about to break. "Have to ask you to do something Ziver."

The tone of his voice concerned her. "You make it sound as if it is a terrible thing."

He swallowed. "Not gonna be easy."

She shrugged. "Life rarely is. What do you need?"

Gibbs finally met her eyes. "For you to talk to Georgia. Gain her trust. Find out what really happened."

So much was being said under the surface that Ziva had a hard time separating it. "Talk," she said slowly. "But not about the latest take down techniques. You mean...share."

"Yeah." He blew out a breath. "Share."

She closed her eyes, fighting back a reaction. "I...do not know if I can Gibbs."

His warm hands rested on her arms. "You can. We need to find out what happened."

Nodding vaguely, she looked past him rather than at him. "I will...do my best."

Gibbs kissed her forehead. "I know you will."

His firm grip held her a little longer, then he disappeared. Ziva wandered over to the window and perched on the sill, but she saw nothing of the beautiful day outside. Noting the change in her demeanor, Tony stood and joined his partner, cupping her elbow to get her attention. "What did he want?"

"He asked me to tell her about Somalia. Not in so many words, but so she knows I understand what it is like to be in her position." She sighed, fingertips following a ray of sunshine across the glass. "The camp is not on my mind at all times, but to...open that door again, even a crack..."

She trailed off and Tony understood. He was worried about what it might do to her too and only a month after the last regression. "You're strong enough Zi," he said encouragingly. "I know you can do this." But he wished desperately that it wasn't needed.

Ziva's weighted gaze met his. "Are you prepared for how it may affect tonight?" So far she was nightmare free for five weeks and the conversation Gibbs wanted could seriously mess with that streak.

"No," Tony responded honestly. "I'll never be ready to watch what the memories do to you. But I won't leave your side no matter how bad things get."

Her smile was sad. "That will have to be enough." She took a deep breath and straightened, trying to steel herself against the coming emotions. "I will be back."

He caught her hand and squeezed. "I'm counting on it." When she was gone he returned to his desk and bowed his head, linking his fingers behind his neck. It just wasn't fair that she could never totally escape.

**NCIS**

A short while later Ziva stood at Georgia Wooten's front door where she warily guarded the way inside. "I told Agent Gibbs all I know."

She gave the woman a knowing look. "You did not tell him everything. I know what happened to you."

Georgia's voice grew quiet. "You have no right. None at all."

Ziva tilted her head. "I did not come here to challenge you."

"And you think this is helping me?"

They were getting nowhere fast and her patience was thin enough already. "I'm not the enemy. I only want to find out the truth."

"Truth according to who?" Georgia bit out. "You?" From behind her Jacob said he was hungry. She turned back to the agent. "You need to leave now."

Sensing the woman was held together by a thread, Ziva put her hand out to keep the door from shutting and let a deep breath fortify her for what came next. "Wait. I know what it's like to be under the control of a man. To feel like you have no power. And the only way to get that power back is to shut down." She blinked against a sheen of tears. "You tell yourself you must shut down. You tell yourself to never show any emotion to anybody."

That admission made her remember her early days on the team, masks worn and walls put up so no one ever got too close. No one except a self-assured, green eyed partner who wouldn't take no for an answer and constantly looked at her like a mystery he was determined to unravel. Where would she be now without his stubborn persistence? Ziva shuddered to think of the alternative outcome. "I know what that's like. It's the only way you can survive. I also know what it's like to," she swallowed, admitting to something she'd rather not own, "want to seek revenge."

The openness she's begun to see disappeared and Georgia stared at her. "I did not kill my husband Agent David." She slammed the door and left Ziva standing on the porch with nothing to show for her effort.

**NCIS**

Ziva was a long time returning from the interview and Gibbs paced in the parking lot, a mostly drunk coffee clutched in one hand, very concerned that he'd asked too much of a damaged soul. He let out a breath when her car pulled in and studied posture and body language as she walked over to join him.

"She maintains her innocence Gibbs," Ziva reported wearily, eyes fixed on the pavement.

He cared less about the case right now than her state of mind. "Look at me." She did, slowly, and he held her chin. "Doin' okay?" Ziva shrugged but he wanted details. "Ziver."

She rubbed her forehead. "It was...hard," she admitted finally, "to be vulnerable again. And it did not work anyways. I lost her by mentioning revenge. I'm sorry Gibbs."

Gibbs squeezed the back of her neck. "Don't be. You did good."

Ziva smiled faintly and followed him upstairs. By the time he turned around from taking his coat off the partners had already disappeared and Gibbs let it go, knowing Tony could probably help her decompress better than anyone else.

Tony locked them in the copy room and opened his arms. Ziva fell into the embrace without a pause and let him take her weight. He kissed her head and waited. "I am so tired Tony," she murmured. "It was very...draining to open myself up like that and receive nothing in return." She buried her face in his neck, calmed by his steady breathing and familiar scent.

"I'm proud of you," he told his wife. "The more you talk about it the less power that summer has. It took a lot of courage not to throw Gibbs' request back in his face." He tightened his grip a fraction. "Any thoughts on tonight?"

Ziva stepped back. "I did not have to give details. I will be low on energy but I do not feel the shadows."

"That's good." Tony lifted her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm.

Resolve entered her expression. "This is a second new year since Somalia ahava. I refuse to let the desert poison another one."

He grinned. "That's my ninja."

Later that night Tony came back from walking Meira and caught a glimpse of Ziva standing in front of the dresser toying with her Star of David necklace. She let it dangle from her fingers, swinging back and forth, then caught the pendant and rubbed her thumb over it. After several moments of thought she set it down and unclasped the 'Z' chain from around her neck, hanging it carefully in the case among her sparse collection. With a sigh she fastened the old necklace on again, closing her eyes briefly as if summoning up the resolve to face any darkness head on. She looked up and found him hovering outside the door and her expression became almost apologetic.

"Sometimes I will just need to be reminded."

Tony went to her, rubbing his hand over her shoulders and brushing his lips across her forehead. "I didn't get the other one for you to take the place of tradition. I just want you to look at it and hear 'I love you'."

Ziva's mouth curved into a smile. "I do, every time I put it on and when I feel it around my neck. Thank you for understanding." Then she rested in his arms and found again that he was and always would be her haven in the midst of every storm.

**NCIS**

**Thursday January 13**

The rest of the case passed in a bit of a blur with Ziva lost in her thoughts and Tony much more subdued than usual. Ziva was relieved that Georgia wasn't the killer and sad for the woman, because the one man who cared enough to do something about the pain in her life had just caused her more and now wouldn't be around for twenty years to life. It was an unhappy ending for the story, except that now Gunny Wooten and her son never had to be afraid again.

Glad to get out that night, the partners left the building hand in hand and headed for home. It was hard to read what her husband needed right now. She knew he'd been disturbed about the tone of the case and didn't like what Gibbs had asked her to do, but such was their line of work. Ziva thought she might give Tony some space by taking a shower, but he trailed her into the bathroom and kissed her with something akin to desperation while steam from the hot water fogged the walls of the small corner stall.

She gently disengaged him so both could undress and submitted to his ministrations. The tender way he held her spoke volumes, his hands were achingly gentle as they washed her body, and warm lips seemed determined to kiss away even the possibility of bad memories - thankfully none had surfaced last night and he wanted to ensure this one would be the same. Ziva returned his care with open affection and willing attention until finally the stream of water began to cool and they were forced to get out. He seemed reluctant to let her go even long enough to get dried and into pyjamas and he led her to the couch afterwards.

Ziva waited in silence until he finally turned and brushed his knuckles down her cheek. Her eyes were serious. "What is wrong Tony?"

He wanted to have her in his arms so badly but all of a sudden his thoughts were getting in the way and he couldn't bring himself to reach for her. "I just don't understand how a guy could hurt the woman he promised to love and protect." Tony sighed. "It makes me wonder what I'm capable of."

Ziva straddled his legs and framed his face with her hands. "I know you would not hurt me ahuvi. But if something did happen, I can fight back."

Tony shook his head. "So could she. That woman is a Marine Ziva, fully capable of protecting herself. Why didn't she?"

She rested her forehead on his. "I cannot know what was in her mind and heart my love and I cannot say why a man would abuse his wife, but we are not them and I do not fear you."

Tony cradled her against his chest, his face buried in her thick tresses. "I love you Ziva." He kissed her temple, her cheek, the corner of her mouth. "Just let me hold you for awhile, okay?" He could barely choke the words out and Ziva heard the despair in his voice.

Ziva got comfortable on his lap and tucked her head under his chin. "As long as you want. Ani ohevet otcha."

His arms settled around her and they spent the evening in silence, covered by their love and reveling in the security of being together. This was all they really needed.

**NCIS**

**Friday January 14**

A week after her visit to his shop Ziva received a phone call from Mr. Farber saying her order was ready. Elated, she disappeared at lunch time, thankful that Tony and McGee were still out on an interview so her husband wouldn't be any the wiser. She blew into Chosen Inspirations with the frigid breeze outside and stamped off her boots. The bell drew him out from the backroom and he nodded in greeting. "Mrs. DiNozzo. Good afternoon."

She paused for a moment, cheeks red from the cold and eyes bright, and savoured the title. Very few people ever had a reason to label her as such and Ziva found she loved the way her name sounded claimed by Tony's. "Shalom."

Mr. Farber reached under the counter for a box and cracked it open so she could see. "What do you think?"

Her cool fingers delicately traced the gift she'd envisioned. "Oh Benjamin, it is wonderful. You do very fine work."

He dipped his head in acknowledgment. "Thank you." Carefully removing it from the padding, he turned the creation over to show her the back. "I think the script came out quite well."

Ziva's eyes scanned the lines and a smile curved her lips. "This is exactly what I wanted. Toda raba."

"You are most welcome." Benjamin indicated a few supplies to his left. "Shall I wrap it?"

"No," she decided quickly, mentally flipping through ways of presenting something so special to her husband. "I will take it like this."

Moments after paying for her order Ziva was out the door and on her way. She returned to the office sporting a smile that couldn't be contained and Gibbs frowned at the drastic difference from the past couple days. Seeing her happy was always a blessing but he didn't want her to push away the hurt and emotions and bury them rather than deal with them, to put on a front of being fine. He knew all too well the consequences of that avoidance. Listening to her hum under her breath though, he couldn't bring himself to spoil her good mood and decided he'd give her the weekend and then talk to her the first moment he noticed something off. She was his kid, it was his job to make sure she was doing okay.

Ziva had managed to school her expression by the time her husband got back and the rest of their day passed with nothing more eventful than end of case paperwork. Once clear of the building Tony grasped her hand. "Wanna go play some pool?"

His question sparked a fond memory from very early in their relationship, only four months after they'd started being friends and two months before getting anywhere serious. Despite her reluctance Tony seemed determined to claim her time as often as he could get away with it. One Friday night not-a-date dinner together became movie night on Sunday, after which she invited him over on Wednesday for cooking lessons once she'd seen the contents of his kitchen.

They had a lot of fun during that first instruction and at the end he hesitantly asked if she'd join him for pizza and to play pool at the bar with some of his old cop buddies. She accepted if only to get a glimpse from that side of his life and was pleasantly surprised at the camaraderie that still existed five years after he'd left the force. They entertained her for hours with tales of the young, cocky, hotshot Detective DiNozzo and his creative crime fighting ways.

And though a few of the guys sported wedding bands, her appearance wasn't lost on them or the single ones, who fell all over themselves offering to buy her drinks and challenging her on the table - to play or teach her - whatever she'd allow. Ziva witnessed a different side of her partner that night; protective, possessive, and very jealous of the attention she was being paid. Because she could read him so well she delighted in pushing his buttons, casually flirting with the other men, doing everything she could to see how far he'd go to stake a claim that hadn't yet been earned. Nothing happened, though she suspected later he'd been biting his tongue most of the evening, and he pouted for days following the outing. Somehow she wasn't surprised not to receive another invitation for that particular activity.

Now, however, everything was different. They walked into the building hand in hand and he waved at the guys, leaning down to whisper, "I'll be the only one buying you drinks tonight Mrs. DiNozzo. And don't be fluttering those long eyelashes at any other cops, they don't need any encouragement to flirt."

Ziva snorted and elbowed him. "I do not flutter my eyelashes."

He grinned. "Whatever you say sweetheart."

They joined the group hanging around a table and she noticed right away that a couple men were missing and three of the others had now joined the ranks of matrimonial bliss. Only one holdout remained and he focused immediately on their joined hands. "Hey DiNozzo! Where you been man?" "Yeah, what gives? You flee the country or something?" "Five years and not one word? You should definitely be paying for the next round." and other heckling of that nature were directed at her husband, but only Steve made things personal. "Looks like you came to your senses."

Tony glanced at Ziva and nodded in acknowledgment. "Yeah, I did."

Bradley clapped him on the back. "Good for you Big D." He nodded at Ziva. "Agent David."

"Nice to see you again." She gestured at the game. "Who is winning?"

"We're actually just about to start another, so you're right on time. You and Tony want a turn?"

"We'll take the next one," Tony decided. "I'll get the drinks, you guys can fill us in on what we missed."

Reluctantly letting go of his wife, he headed for the bar and Rich joined him. Tony looked at his friend's hand. "I saw the ring. Congratulations."

"Thanks." The other man smiled. "I've got two kids now. Well, one and a half actually. Cheryl's pregnant."

Tony's eyebrows rose. "Cheryl? As in Cheryl from the office? Wow...she was way out of your league."

"She still is," he agreed, "but she said yes anyways. Best decision of my life, asking her out."

Tony's gaze drifted back to Ziva, smiling and chatting and fitting in quite well with the rest of the guys. "I know what you mean."

Rich followed the direction of his friend's stare. "How long's that been going on?"

He absently touched his empty ring finger. "Four and a half years."

"I'm not surprised." Tony turned back to him with a frown and Rich laughed. "Come on man, seriously? Do you not remember how you acted last time you guys were here? You were giving out every 'back off, she's mine' signal possible without actually saying those words. I was sure she was going to put you in your place good, but you stopped short of actually touching her to mark your territory."

"Probably would've lost a hand," he muttered, remembering the old days with Ziva David as his partner only.

Their drinks were ready and Rich grabbed one tray. "Don't worry about Steve," he said quickly, seeing the way Tony's eyes narrowed when the man in question got a little friendly with Ziva. "He's harmless. It's impossible for him not to flirt with a beautiful woman. Kinda reminds me of someone else I know."

"Not anymore," Tony responded tightly. "Those days are over. Excuse me." He went to Ziva and slid his arm around her waist. "Miss me yet?"

She laughed lightly. "I have hardly had time."

He tried very hard not to glare at Steve and Ziva rolled her eyes. She pulled his face down and kissed him soundly, drawing whistles and whoops from the guys. "Happy now?"

He got that proud peacock expression which so annoyed McGee and stood a little straighter. "Yup."

Now that the claim was irrefutably staked Tony could relax and it made Ziva happy to see that he was better than last night. Having a couple drinks, laughing and joking with the guys, catching up, showing off his prowess at pool, and taking full advantage of any opportunity to 'help' her with her stance even though they were decently matched at the game. They left that night content and mellow. The only thing that could've made it better would've been if it wasn't an on call weekend. But Tony wouldn't've minded as much if he'd known what his wife was planning for after work the next day.

**NCIS**

**Saturday January 15**

On call weekends were a little more laid back than weekdays. Gibbs spent less time in the bullpen, Director Vance didn't come in unless there was an emergency, and the building was quieter being more than half empty as people who actually had lives enjoyed their time off. The team spent some time catching up on paperwork and emptied another half box of cold case files to input in the system. They took a long lunch, after which McGee strayed down to the lab and Gibbs disappeared somewhere in the building for a phone call that almost made him smile until he realized they were watching. Tony looked at Ziva and mouthed 'girlfriend' and she had to concur that the possibility seemed more likely, especially because of the way he'd come into the office on Monday with a spring in his step and managed a whole day with no headslaps or growling.

Though they probably could've left earlier, the agents ended up getting pulled in to assist with interrogations on another team's case, so it was six pm by the time they exited the building and said goodnight. Ziva waited until Abby and McGee left in separate cars and Gibbs went for dinner with Fornell before pushing Tony into the shadows and bringing his mouth to hers. He got so caught up in the unexpected that he didn't notice she'd stolen the keys until she broke away and dashed towards the car. He chased after her and pinned her against the side, smothering his wife's delighted laughter with a deep kiss.

Tony tried to get his keys back but she shook her head. "I'm driving."

He released them and raised an eyebrow. "What's the occasion?" Usually when they carpooled she let him have the privilege because it was considered a 'guy thing'.

Ziva didn't answer until they were on the road. "We are going to a hotel tonight," she stated matter of factly.

His brow furrowed. "Did I forget something we're supposed to be celebrating?"

"Do we need a reason to celebrate?" she countered.

"Fair enough." Tony glanced in the backseat for overnight bags. "Um...what about clothes?"

She turned to him with a puzzled expression. "We are wearing them."

"I mean for tomorrow. And we don't have pyjamas."

Ziva chuckled throatily and threw him a sultry look. "We will not be needing pyjamas."

At that he leaned back in the seat and grinned. "Okay then." He certainly liked the sound of that.

Rather than jump right into the fun as soon as they arrived in their room, the couple ordered room service as lunch had been some time ago and Ziva lamented their inability to go swimming due to lack of swimsuits. It was on the tip of Tony's tongue to suggest skinny dipping but he was afraid she might actually take him up on it. They splurged a little on the meal and afterwards lay on their stomachs on the thick carpet and fed each other forkfuls of decadent cheesecake, talking in low voices.

It wasn't until everything was cleaned up and Tony's mind was already drifting towards under the cover activities when his wife moved to the couch and cleared her throat. "Will you come here please?"

If he didn't know she'd just finished her period in the last couple days he would've seriously wondered if she planned all this to tell him they were pregnant. But since that wasn't the reason he had no clue what she was up to. Tony sat on the couch facing his wife as she held a small, flat square box in her hands. The mood had grown serious when she asked him to join her and he was curious about the reason.

Ziva stared down at the box, then met his eyes. "One of the things on my New Year's Resolutions list was to find a way to thank you for everything you have done for me over the past sixteen months." He started to protest but she shook her head. "It has been a long hard road and you deserve this ahava, please." Tony pressed his lips together and nodded, so she continued. "I have tried to express everything in my heart. It is not enough, but it is something." Uncharacteristically uncertain, she slowly reached out and gave him the box. "Open it."

He did and found a very unique medal. The main feature was a silver Star of David, but in the center a golden eagle with wings outstretched came in for a landing. A thin, hammered bronze ring encircled both and the back was a bronze plate. Tony looked at her in confusion and Ziva smiled. "The star is for my country, the eagle yours." She lifted a printed card from the inside of the lid to read. "You are an incredible husband, distinguished by heroism on behalf of another. This medal commemorates your meritorious service in our marriage and life together and is a token of my endless love for you."

While her husband stared in amazement, eyes shiny with emotion, Ziva pulled the medal gently from its bonds and pinned it to his shirt, reciting from memory the inscription on the back. She had laboured over the words to try and cover everything, but even this did not touch what he had done. "Presented to Anthony D. DiNozzo - In recognition of your faithfulness, courage, strength, and selfless love; for going above and beyond the call of duty."

Tony swallowed and swiped at the tears he couldn't contain. He'd never felt so honoured or humbled. "Zi," he whispered hoarsely, "I don't know what to say."

She placed her palm on his cheek and he held it there. "You do not have to say a thing. I just needed you to know what you mean to me."

The box was pushed out of the way as Tony grabbed his wife in a fierce embrace, whispering 'thank you' and 'I love you' over and over in her hair. His mouth sought hers with great fervency and within moments she was undressed down to the silky red lingerie she'd chosen specifically for this night. His medal was carefully unpinned and set aside before his own clothes joined hers on the floor. Ziva took control once they were both in their skin, flipping them over like she had on their long ago assignment and displaying her newly recovered confidence for his pleasure. After both caught their breath and recovered from the high, she shifted in his arms and whispered that she was willing to try 'something different'. The words held heavy significance and Tony remembered back to October when he'd asked her for that very thing after their intimate photoshoot but she hadn't been able to go through with it then.

"Are you sure?" he asked gently, holding her hair back.

Ziva rolled over and reached for something on the nightstand and opened her hand to show him the little lock that had been their anchor through so much. "Just in case."

"You don't have to, just for me," Tony offered an out, concern overshadowing passion.

"Yes I do," she insisted, and he realized she needed to reclaim what had been stolen.

He was careful with her, so careful - which Ziva both deeply appreciated and loathed the need for - and he kept his hand wrapped around hers the whole time so he could feel if she loosened her grip even a little. Tony loved her for trying, for being brave with him, but it came as little surprise when she confessed in the end that it might never be a favourite position again. He grieved for both of them what had been lost and in the same breath was so incredibly thankful for everything that had been saved and gained through the experience.

It left them quiet and thoughtful for awhile before slipping into sleep, but a couple hours later they were drawn together again and decided to experiment with some of the other things that had been taboo since her return from Africa. Ziva was open to trying just about anything, her only request was that he make sure she kept her eyes open. She caressed his cheek. "If I cannot then you have lost me and I do not want anything from that place ruining our time here tonight."

Tony promised with equal solemnity and captured her lips once more. He had no idea when they finally succumbed to the pull of slumber for good, all he did know was that this had been one of their sweetest and most poignant encounters since a Paris hotel room two years ago when they finally found each other again. With that thought in mind he pulled his wife even closer and closed his eyes. Life didn't get much better than this.

**NCIS**

**Sunday January 16**

Tony didn't open his eyes until after nine the next morning and when he registered what day it was he reluctantly but very slowly rolled away from Ziva to reach for his cell on the nightstand. A few quick taps later he sent a text to Mark. They weren't necessarily expected at basketball because of being on call but he knew Mark and Cassie would worry if they didn't hear anything at all._ Ziva and I are taking some quality time today, as long as we don't called in. Don't wait the game for us. _Satisfied that he'd taken care of his obligation, Tony cuddled back up to his warm naked wife, wrapping her snugly in his arms.

They both dozed awhile longer, then Ziva got up quietly to order room service for breakfast and reclined on the bed beside her husband, gaze drifting over his familiar face until her fingers couldn't help but follow. Tony smiled when she got to his lips and held her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm. "That's a nice way to wake up."

She scooted closer until there was no space at all between them. Placing her hands on his cheeks she took over his mouth slowly, thoroughly, and the couple shared sweet, languid kisses for several moments before a short peck ended them and Ziva smiled. "Good morning."

He chuckled. "I love how seriously you take kissing me good morning. It's one of my favourite parts of the day."

Ziva toyed with his chain. "What number belongs to that one?"

Tony had to think about it for a second. "876."

She couldn't hold back a smile. "I cannot believe there have been that many. How do you keep track?"

He drew a finger down her neck. "That, Mrs. DiNozzo, is my secret."

Her eyebrows rose, intrigued. "Shall I try and get it out of you?"

Tony winced. "Please don't. I'm powerless to resist your methods."

Ziva considered an attempt anyways but let it go. They didn't have many secrets but this was one he should be allowed to keep. "Very well. But just so you know ahava - no one has ever made me feel loved the way you do. Thank you for never giving up finding new ways to win my heart."

His mouth found hers once more and he had to swallow before he could speak. "Babe, that is my favourite pursuit."

And just as he had a thousand times before, Anthony DiNozzo made her feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

_Replies:_

_Allie - Wow, is your husband building the cottage himself from scratch? That takes some skill. Must be nice to have a handy man around :) lol...well, I'm glad FF saved your sanity. I know what that feels like, our lake doesn't warm up until about mid-July either and I'm a wuss about cold water so I only get in a few times. Any better luck with the log in? FF can be finicky sometimes but if you're really having trouble emailing their technical support people usually works. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - I'm glad you like G&amp;C. They've got a long way to go but I'm a big fan of happy endings :) I've been saving that story about Cassie's middle name for awhile, though I hadn't decided who would ask her about it. I'm trying to create ways for her to connect with Claire. Yeah, it's Z's turn to do something big for T since he's been so fabulous over the last couple years. It'll be good to see her taking that role in this half of the season. Thanks for reviewing! :)_

_Guest - Thank you :) I'm glad you liked it. I appreciate the compliment, it's nice to hear. I'm sorry that updates have been so delayed, life got pretty busy for awhile there. There isn't actually a written account of when Ziva and Cassie met for the first time. It was just mentioned vaguely that Ziva and Tony had spent time with his frat brothers a few times before Somalia. I may do that moment at some point, but it doesn't exist yet. If you're looking for the first time Z&amp;T had dinner with M&amp;C after Somalia, it will likely be in the first few chapters of Part 4. Her first meeting with the frat brothers after Somalia is somewhere near the end of Aftermath I believe. Let me know if you need anything else! :) Thanks for reviewing ~Aliyah_


	34. 8x14 A Man Walks Into a Bar 1

**Monday January 17 - 5 pm**

Despite getting no response, Eli continued following Nettie's suggestion and sent another letter to his daughter the following month. It arrived in the mail around the same time as the other one and when Ziva saw the same pink envelope from her mother's stationery, she dropped it in the garbage without tearing it up. Surreptitiously observing the process from his place in the livingroom, Tony was relieved not to have more puzzle pieces to put together. When his wife went for a shower he rescued the letter before changing a couple of the fuller garbage cans and stored it safely with the first. He was undecided yet whether he looked forward to the day she changed her mind about Eli, or dreaded it. As far as he was concerned, the man did not deserve to know her.

**NCIS**

**Sunday January 16 (New Zealand) 4 pm/Monday January 17 (Washington DC) 10 pm**

"Wow." Adrian carried his board out of the water and ran a hand through his dripping hair, grinning at his niece and nephew. "I'm impressed. What, were you guys born on boards or something?"

Cam slung an arm around his shoulders. "Aww...are the children showing you up baby brother?"

Adrian rolled his eyes and shoved the older man away. "They're good, I'll give them that." Cam grinned proudly before he finished. "I'll have to tell Marianna she did a great job with the teaching."

Cam huffed. "Remind me again which one of us is the pro surfer and which one fell off his board a thousand times before he managed to stay upright?"

"Former pro surfer, you mean," Adrian corrected. "And it was only a hundred and fifty times, thank you."

Marianna and Emma watched the exchange and chuckled. "I think they missed each other."

Emma looked around them. "You have a beautiful home Marianna, I'm just sorry it's so far away from ours." She glanced back at her husband, wishing he wore that infectious grin all the time. It was more real here with his brother than anything she'd seen back home, even with the gang. As long as the brothers remained on opposite sides of the globe there would always be a huge part of him missing.

Marianna hugged her sister in law. "It has been so great getting to know you in person this month Em. We are really going to miss you guys when you have to leave." She eyed her children, paddling back out and racing for the next wave to show off for their favourite uncle. "In a few years when the kids are both out of the house and away at school Cam and I will have the freedom to come and see you."

"I look forward to that."

Fourteen year old Akelani beat her eighteen year old brother to the beach and had to gloat about it, while Josh joined the men grumbling about sisters and cheating and things being unfair. Cam ruffled his son's curls. "Don't forget you're the one who wanted to her to learn. I believe your first words when we brought Lani home from the hospital were, 'Can we take her to the water?'"

Having heard this story numerous times before when he complained, Josh opted to keep quiet and found a smile for his sister when she came over. "Nice job out there Lani. At this rate you'll beat some of Mom's old records by next year."

Marianna, a native Hawaiian, had also been on the pro surfing circuit where she and Cam met, but a knee injury sidelined her a couple years after their marriage. She could no longer compete but she still spent as much time as she could in the water with her children and had taught them love of the ocean and the sport since they were old enough to say the words. Long dark hair, tanned skin, and still as beautiful at forty-two as she'd been in her twenties, Marianna was a joy to have for a sister in law and she and Emma had been inseparable since soon after they arrived, something that Adrian cherished.

Cam saw where his brother's attention was. "It's been great to have you back buddy. Fifteen years is a long time."

"Too long," Adrian sighed. "I should've come again before this."

"Not like we couldn't've packed up the kids when they were younger and made it back to California." He shook his head in annoyance. "We just never did."

Adrian scrunched his nose. "Well, you'll be lucky if you get five years away from me this time." He headed back into the water. "One more run. Then I say we drop Josh and Lani off for ice cream and take those gorgeous wives of ours out on a date."

"Last one in buys."

"You're on," Adrian grinned as they dove into the waves. The last month had been amazing and he was loathe to see it end. He never realized how much he missed his brother until they'd met again.

**NCIS**

Tony had been shifting around for several minutes before Ziva finally rolled over. He opened his eyes at her movement and sighed. "Sorry Zi, I can't seem to find a comfortable position."

She knew exactly what the problem was and shook her head. "Lay on your stomach."

He made a face. "I tried that already." One eyebrow arched and he huffed. "Fine."

Once he settled Ziva moved close and sat up, straddling his hips and digging her fingers into his shoulders. Tony winced and tried to protest. "You're supposed to be sleeping."

She leaned down, her lips brushing his ear. "If you cannot sleep, I cannot sleep my love. Besides," she continued, kneading the tight muscles, "I believe I owed you a raincheck for this."

Tony kept his eyes closed and thought back to the night in September when he treated her to a relaxing massage hoping the pampering would dissuade her nightmares. Thankfully they hadn't faced one since early December, though his efforts hadn't been enough to stop them that night. Then he recalled something she'd said on the island and murmured, "I think you owe me two, actually."

It took her a moment to place the second one he meant but a smile crossed Ziva's lips when she remembered the care he'd taken of her during a week of intense nightmares. She rather liked having the opportunity to offer him the same sort of indulgence. "As you wish."

A moan escaped him as she worked on a particularly difficult knot and he tried to keep his breathing regular. "Are you sure you weren't a masseuse in another life?"

"That profession makes quite a good cover for a spy," she shared. "People share things with you, confide in you. Getting information is not difficult when people are so relaxed and even-" Cutting off what she was about to say, she changed tracks slightly. "But it is hard work. Doing that kind of thing for days on end made my hands and arms very sore. And the men...well, I tried not to encourage that kind of attention." She kissed his ear when he tensed at the thought of other men trying to seduce her on the job. "I much prefer doing it this way, only for my husband."

"Me too."

He held his breath as and focused on a very tight section and Ziva could tell it hurt, but the good kind that meant she was actually helping. So even as much as she didn't want to cause him discomfort, she kept going until she met no resistence from his muscles. Tony was almost lulled to sleep by the time she finished, then Ziva leaned down and started pressing kisses all over his back. Now done with the hard part, graceful fingers lightly traced each muscle, appreciating his body and the freedom to call him hers, the knowledge that they belonged to each other. Finally she stretched out and sighed contentedly, amusing her husband.

"Are you just going to fall asleep on top of me?" he murmured. Nice, but her dead weight would make breathing a challenge in this position.

Ziva was enjoying the warmth of his skin and considered the idea momentarily. "That would probably not feel very good for you," she conceded, slipping off.

Tony scoffed. "Yeah, because having your gorgeous self draped all over me is such a hardship."

She swirled her fingers through the back of his hair. "Maybe some other time."

With a little maneuvering she tucked herself against his side and adjusted the blankets to cover them. She remained quiet for several moments, then added one last thing. "Thank you for tonight, for understanding. I do not want to talk about...him, but I needed to say I am glad you are here."

His hand slipped around hers. "I always will be. I love you honey. And thanks for this, I haven't felt so good in a long time."

"My pleasure. Goodnight Tony," Ziva whispered, brushing her mouth over his shoulder.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday January 18**

In the squadroom Tony fanned a wad of cash and expounded on his horse-whispering ability to keep from sharing that Ziva was his real good luck charm at the track, reading the steeds and giving some well thought out suggestions of which to bet on. As a rule gambling wasn't something they did often. But after getting another of Eli's letters last night and seeing her demeanor when she got out of the shower, Tony decided they needed a distraction and figured seeing any horses would cheer her up. No one was more surprised than them when they actually won. Both took it as a sign to stop with what they had, Tony knew from his dad how easy it was to get hooked and lose big.

On the way home last night Tony and Ziva talked about what to do with their winnings, finally agreeing to give half to charity and use the rest to spoil themselves. For Ziva that meant an art supply shopping spree and a trip to Barnes and Noble if she had any left over. Tony, on the other hand, was still thinking about what to do with his share. Probably movies, possibly something sports related, but regardless it was fun to think about.

The director and a woman he'd never seen before came down just at the wrong time to witness his winning horse imitation and a flush crawled up his neck as he cleared his throat. "Sorry. Just trying to lighten the mood. You know, entertain the masses."

The redhead eyed him with interest. "Do you think lightening the mood is your responsibility Agent DiNozzo?"

He licked his lips. "Uh..."

"Was there ever a time someone didn't improve of that behaviour from you?"

His gaze flickered to Gibbs and he sighed. "Dr. Rachel Cranston. Make time to talk to her, all of you. Director's orders," he added when protests began to form on all their faces.

Ziva went very still and Tony sat down hard, gripping the arms of his chair. Rachel turned to her. "Agent David, why don't we get started?"

Both Tony and Gibbs received equal silent pleas for rescue but neither could act on it and Tony's apprehensive expression followed her as they walked towards the stairs. All too soon the two women entered the conference room and though the doctor sat right away, Ziva hung back closer to the wall. Trying not to fidget, she crossed her arms. "Why exactly are we doing this?"

Rachel smiled slightly. "Because it's mandatory, and after a team has had their evaluations rescheduled nine times, declared fit for duty with only initial assessments following a certain semi-sanctioned desert mission, I start to think it might be good to check in." She indicated one of the padded chairs. "Please have a seat." Ziva did, slowly and with great reluctance. "So," the doctor began, "tell me about yourself Agent David. How are you finding it being a permanent part of NCIS?"

The Israeli frowned. "What do you want me to say?"

"Anything," Rachel offered. "We're just talking, getting to know each other."

She leaned forward impatiently. "Okay, but I do not need to know you. And this is taking time away from my work." Ziva looked towards the door, anxious to escape this room.

"Sometimes a little time away from work is a really good thing," the redhead commented. "I do admire your dedication though."

Releasing a breath, Ziva did her best to calm down. Getting into a yelling match with the shrink would probably not look good on her evaluation. "Dedication is important to me."

"Hasn't that been something you've been juggling your whole life?"

She frowned. "I do not know what you mean."

"Juggling dedication to family, to country, to job," Rachel clarified.

A scene flashed through her mind, yelling at her father when she confronted him over Michael's mission. To keep it from showing on her face, Ziva picked at a speck under one nail. "I do not understand how this is relevant to what you need to know."

"It says something about you. About what brought you here. About where you came from." The agent's shoulders slumped and she continued. "When you first came here you, uh, replaced someone."

Ziva cleared her throat. "Yes. Special Agent Caitlin Todd. She was killed in the line of duty."

"Had you ever met Agent Todd?"

Only through her husband's memories. But knowing how important she'd been to him as a friend, watching how he grieved for that loss, Ziva wished she'd gotten the chance to meet his first partner and see him the way Kate had. "No," she said quietly. "But I know that her loss was...significant to NCIS." She thought about the night she took over Kate's desk and the way Gibbs looked at her in that seat. Kate had been Abby's best friend, a pseudo-sister to Tim and Tony, a member of the Team Gibbs family, though it was a different family than the one she knew. When a member is lost in any family, the dynamics are never quite the same. The sixth anniversary of the tragedy was still months away, but already she wondered how she would help and support her husband and friends on that day, when her presence would always be a reminder that Kate was gone.

Some of her thoughts must have made it past the mask because Rachel tilted her head, studying her. "That's always very difficult, filling someone else's shoes." Dr. Cranston couldn't help but notice what pretty eyes Ziva had when the woman looked her way.

"No disrespect Doctor," she managed tightly, "but except for the fact that she was a woman, we are very different agents."

"Oh yes," Rachel smiled, "I can tell individuality is very important to you." She leaned her head on one hand. "Are you that discerning when it comes to men as well?" Ziva leaned back, eyebrows arched as if daring her to continue the line of questioning. "Keeping your personal and professional lives in balance is important." Sadness coloured the agent's expression. "And it looks like some men, over the years, have, uh, influenced your work in different ways."

Ziva slapped her hand on the table. "My work has never been affected." Not entirely true. "And this is none of your business." Definitely true.

The doctor sat back. "Actually, it is." The arguments between she and Tony over the time she spent with Michael returned to the forefront of her mind and she would never be able to erase how broken he looked when she walked off the roof in Israel, demanding that he let her go. It made her heart ache every time she remembered. "One thing puzzles me," Rachel continued when no words were spoken, "in all the changes you've made to be in this country, to stay here at NCIS, to belong with these people, what is it you're looking for? What do you want?"

Ziva opened and shut her mouth, emotional and honest all of a sudden after being defensive since she walked in the room. She swallowed and blinked away the little bit of moisture in her eyes that had escaped from her tight control. "I want something permanent." The tears recalled all the times she and Tony had been torn from each other's lives in only four and a half years. "Something that cannot be taken away. Is that too much to ask?" It was a concept she genuinely wondered about, especially when their lives were turned upside down again and again.

Compassion filled the doctor's eyes and she shook her head. "No, it's not."

**NCIS**

The day was over before Tony could catch his partner alone and only because they were both headed out to their cars at the same time. He snagged her hand. "So I bet that conversation this morning was the highlight of your day."

Ziva's gaze was thoughtful. "She did not waste any time. Dr. Cranston targeted my loyalty, Kate, supposed relationships." She sighed. "I sincerely hope I'm done being shrunk."

Tony rubbed his thumb over hers. "Can't say I'm looking forward to my turn." His nose wrinkled. "Haven't we dealt with enough shrinks in the last year and a half?"

"I am grateful for Honora, for how she helped us," Ziva interjected. "But between my initial evals and our six months with her it was definitely enough."

"My thoughts exactly." Though now that he looked back on the train wreck November had been for them, he wondered if he shouldn't've taken his wife back to their helpful NCIS shrink for a little extra assistance while she was struggling so badly. Of course, hindsight was always 20-20.

The mood was somber driving home and they'd barely sat down for supper before Ziva pushed her plate away and crossed her arms. "What is she doing here? Head doctors are never good news. Are we in trouble for something? What is she trying to find?" Skidding her chair back from the table, Ziva jumped up to pace. "I know I took Kate's desk, her spot on the team, but I was not trying to take her place! I had very little choice in the matter. I did not know Jenny had been chosen as director and though I had no one to tell about feeling unable to face Eli after his decree on Ari, I came to NCIS not because of my choice but because of orders. What I wanted never mattered or had any bearing on what I was made to do."

She gripped the back of the armchair. "Jen saved me with that decision, calling in a favour Eli owed her after our work in the Middle East, but Tony I could never hope to hold the same place in your hearts that Kate did when I first started. I have no wish to cheapen her memory or what she meant to the team." She sighed and hung her head.

Tony got up when she ran out of words, stopping close behind her and persuading her to face him, one hand warming the side of her neck while his other searched out her hand. "Sweetheart, where is this coming from? Aside from those first months I spent being a jerk, please disregard all of it expect the part where I came to my senses, have I ever even suggested that you tried to get in the way of Kate's memory?"

Ziva swiped at her eyes and his heart constricted. Dr. Cranston really had done a number on her by bringing that up, and right after Eli butted in too. "Abby hated me," she said quietly. "McGee did not want me to sit at her desk. Gibbs either. You-you had every right to resent me."

"Stop," he commanded, holding her face firmly and forcing her gaze to his. "It's all past tense now Ziva, gone, six years' water under the bridge. Abby loves you. If anyone dared suggest otherwise their body would never be found. McGee thinks the world of you. It's your desk now, the one we stared at and longed for you to return to when we thought you were dead. And me," he swallowed hard. "Because you came I found the love of my life, the other half of my soul, my missing piece. Don't you dare try to degrade what you mean to us."

She stared at him blankly, then slid her hand up to cover his, brown eyes falling to the floor. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I overreacted."

Tony tipped her chin up, molding his mouth to hers. "I love you Ziva David-DiNozzo, that's the most important thing I want you to remember." He led her back to the table and held her chair, gallantly playing the gentleman she deserved every day. A small smile rewarded his efforts, but for the remainder of the meal Ziva only pushed food back and forth across the plate without ever tasting any. When he finished, Tony indicated what she still had left. "I could make you something else."

She rubbed her forehead as the headache intensified and took her plate to Meria's dish, scraping what remained for their dog to enjoy. "No thank you Tony, I'm not hungry."

Where had he heard that before? Watching her sit on the floor and pet Meira gently, Tony frowned at the pattern he was beginning to see over the last couples months of Ziva choosing or physically not being able to eat when things got stressful. He didn't appreciate it at all, not less than eighteen months after they'd brought her home weighing under a hundred pounds and waiting weeks upon weeks to see her eat a full meal.

He cleaned up from supper and spent some time in the office alone, unable and unwilling to offer reassurance one more time. Tony was puzzled to find a small note card from the collection they so often exchanged written in Hebrew characters and resting on his pillow when he came to bed once Ziva was already asleep. It would have to remain a mystery, he was not asking Aunt Nettie to translate again. But if he could've read his wife's mind, this would've been her plea - _I hope she does not make you question choosing me._

**NCIS**

**Wednesday January 19**

Ziva seemed brighter when they woke up, he got a smile with his good morning kiss and Tony hoped they'd dodged a bullet, but as Dr. Cranston continued working her way through the members of Team Gibbs he couldn't help wondering if his name was on it instead. Need an escape, he wandered down to Autopsy hoping to find support from the ME, forgetting he himself was well on his way to being a qualified psychologist.

He paced across the front of the room. "I don't like head doctors Ducky."

"No one does Anthony." He continued his examination. "They are like lie detector tests, alerting us to fears and weaknesses."

"I especially don't like this one," Tony groused. "From the moment she stepped foot in the squadroom she's been judging me. I can feel it."

His petulant comment was ignored as Ducky focused on the body. Moments later the doors whooshed open and Tony glared at the intruder. "Speak of the devil," he muttered under his breath, stalking out.

Rachel observed his exit. "Was it something I said?"

Dr. Mallard swiftly changed the subject and found himself sharing more than he intended. The red-haired woman listened, empathized, and smiled but left quietly. There was something about her manner that seemed almost familiar, but Ducky couldn't place it, like a word gone missing from the tip of one's tongue, and chose to focus on his patient for the time being.

Although Rachel hoped to make Gibbs her next target, Abby informed the shrink she didn't have enough hours to get started. And while she still planned to find time despite the warning she continued with an easier quarry instead, joining Agent McGee when he headed out to interview a suspect. She didn't waste any time. "So doing fieldwork without Agent DiNozzo must be invigorating."

Tim nodded. "Yeah, I'll admit it does feel pretty good sometimes."

"You were the one who didn't start out in the military or law enforcement," Rachel observed. "The only one with an Ivy League education, yet you successfully transformed from 'Probie' to Special Agent."

He gave her a suspicious and slightly fearful sideways glance. "Who told you about 'Probie'?"

She ignored the question. "You've done an amazing job of growing, you're technically astute, yet something feels...stunted?"

McGee didn't appreciate her choice of word and frowned. "Stunted? How?"

"Women," Rachel clarified. "Wouldn't you like to be in a committed relationship?"

McGee shrugged, seemingly unconcerned. He wasn't about to let her in any further than necessary. "I just haven't found the right girl yet. There's still time."

"Maybe you're looking too hard," Rachel smiled. "The right girl could be closer than you think."

Tim's startled gaze whipped to her before he began a staring contest with the windshield. Was she trying to read his mind? No way in heck was he going to share the deepest feelings of his heart with some shrink, especially where Abby was concerned. That ship had hit rough waters in the past but he was slowly growing more confident in his ability to pilot them safely out. Seven years of history was too many to waste.

**NCIS**

Later that night Tony retreated to the breakroom in search of a snack. Actually feeding the vending machine money this time instead of coaxing a free treat out of it thanks to McGee's generous gift, he punched in the right letter/number combination. But nothing happened and he pounded his fist against the plexiglass, trying to funnel his tension out though the action. After waiting all day to be caught under the microscope he felt like a ticking time bomb.

"It's frustrating, isn't it?" came Dr. Cranston's soft voice from the hall and he turned. "You make a choice, follow directions, and it still doesn't work out."

That could apply to much of his life, though Tony figured she was referring to the undercover assignment with Jeanne. Then again, it could mean Jenny or even going to question Ziva about Michael in the fiasco that lead to Somalia. But he wasn't interested in playing her games. He shrugged. "Just a candy bar, no big deal."

One eyebrow rose. "Who said I was talking about the vending machine?"

Tony chuckled mirthlessly. "Okay Doc, you wanna do this now? Why not?" He spread his hands. "How far back do you want to go? My mom dying when I was ten? Or maybe when Dad shipped me off to boarding school a year later? Oh, and then there's the time I blew out my knee in Baltimore and ruined my basketball career. Am I doing good so far? Is this what you wanted to hear?"

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood. And sorry I could not travel both..."

Ziva liked Robert Frost, he knew the poem. Then realization clicked. The promotion that never was, to Spain with his own team not even a week after he married Ziva. There had never been a choice. His place would always be with her. "We make decisions and we live with them."

She'd been steadily getting closer. "Some are easier than others."

At that moment the machine whirred and his selected candy dropped into the tray. But Tony was too busy staring at Dr. Cranston and wondering what she knew. Her eyes didn't give up her secrets like Ziva's did for him and he couldn't read her motive. So without another word he spun on his heel and walked away.

**NCIS**

He was decidedly taciturn for the last hour before Gibbs sent them home and Ziva waited a minute before heading out after him. In the car, though he didn't remember why they came together today, Tony sighed and glanced at his wife. "Want to go to the diner tonight? I don't feel like cooking."

She nodded slowly, struggling to get through the blank mask he'd donned. Usually that was her armour and she didn't have as much practice disarming him as he had with her.

Quiet filled the heavy air between them as Tony made all the right turns to get to their destination. He forced a smile for Travis when they walked in, glad there were only a couple other tables occupied. Ziva held up two fingers and Travis nodded, getting to work on their usual order while Tony led her to a booth along the wall. He did nothing except grip her fingers while they waited and a short time later Travis set two plates piled high with curly fries - extra spicy for Ziva and regular for Tony, and burgers topped with lettuce, tomato, cheese and crispy bacon for Tony, while Ziva's sported the usual vegetables plus extra pickles.

He came back with two tall cold cups filled with malted chocolate milkshakes. "Bon appetit."

"You are too good to us." Ziva smiled her thanks.

Travis winked. "It keeps you coming back, works in my favour too." Noticing Tony's mood he left them alone instead of lingering for small talk and Ziva lifted a spiral fry off her plate, crunching through the coating to the steaming potato underneath, waiting her husband out.

He poked a hole in his whipped cream with the straw and sucked up a mouthful of milkshake. "That doctor really goes for the jugular, doesn't she?" Tony finally spoke. "Like she can cut you open and see where you're most vulnerable." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Now I know why you were acting so off last night."

"What did she step on for you?" Ziva asked softly, hoping it wasn't Somalia. He needed to let that go too.

He snagged a piece of bacon off his burger. "Rota."

"Oh." She dropped the second fry, appetite receding. "Do you ever wonder 'what if'?" Ziva ventured, taken back to a conversation had on the kitchen floor leaning against cupboard doors so soon after their life together had begun.

He looked up and met her eyes. "My 'what ifs' only count if they start with you being free to go with me then." His tone was almost accusing. "You don't honestly think I regret you, right?" The dark glare suggested she better not.

"No," she answered slowly, "but I am the reason you said no."

"Can't think of a better one," Tony retorted, grasping her hand. "Sure it would've been fun, you and me in another country, with a language we both speak, a new city to explore and people to meet. But when I think of what we would've missed - our house, Aunt Nettie, Meira, the gang - I'm glad we stayed." His eyebrows drew together. "Then again, if we left in 2006 it would've spared you Somalia. There would've been no separations, no lost time." He sighed heavily. "A lot would've been different."

Ziva leaned her head on one hand. "You don't know that. There are no guarantees Spain would not have come with its own challenges, that the consequences of quitting Mossad then and announcing our marriage might not have been just as difficult as some other things we've faced." She rubbed his forearm. "Yes Tony, maybe Somalia could've been avoided, but if you take away the experience you also erase the lessons and I would not want to lose the depth of our relationship now, so much more than it was in the beginning." Unshed tears made his eyes shiny and Ziva smiled. "I love our life ahava - our home, our dog, our friends and family, each other." She shook her head. "These I would not trade. I do not regret us or our history. I love you."

Her declaration lifted his spirits and Tony kissed her palm. "Okay," he agreed. "Me too." What ifs were pointless, he decided soon after. The only thing that mattered was holding onto what was right now. Moments like these were priceless.

**NCIS**

Partway through the movie Abby pressed pause and shifted to face her best friend. "You're really distracted tonight Timmy."

There was a half-second delay before he looked at her. "Hm? What was that Abbs?"

Her brow furrowed. He'd been quiet since she arrived, his mind obviously somewhere else. She'd be surprised if he even realized he'd been holding her hand for the last hour, his thumb rubbing across the back now and then. Not that she didn't enjoy the feeling, but it wasn't like him to be so spacy. "What's wrong?" Abby asked.

Tim blinked and offered a small smile. "Nothing. I'm just thinking."

"About what?" she probed.

Everything Rachel said, wondering what his next step with Abby should be and if he had the nerve to take it. Not that he could tell her any of those things, he wouldn't risk scaring her off again. So instead of explaining he shrugged. "Dr. Cranston came on a ride along today. I don't like shrinks Abby, they get inside your head."

She squeezed his hand and he finally noticed his fingers wrapped around hers. "Don't let her mess with you McGee. You're good at your job."

Tim smiled. "Thanks. When's your turn?"

Abby's nose wrinkled. "Never if I had a choice. But she'll probably catch me sometime I can't get away. They're sneaky like that."

He grabbed a handful of popcorn. "And that's enough about shrinks. Let's get back to the movie."

Tim started to let go but she folded her fingers between his. One of them needed to be brave, maybe it was her time. He stared at her for a long moment, then drew a deep breath and kissed her temple, hoping they were finally getting somewhere that didn't end in friendship.

_Replies:_

_Guest - Thank you, that's nice to hear :) I'm glad you enjoyed all the TZ stuff. You're welcome :) Thanks for reviewing, it always makes my day! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - The medal was unexpected, a little gift of inspiration from God for me and Ziva :) I take tears as a compliment. I'm glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	35. 8x14 A Man Walks Into a Bar 2

_A/N: I've been informed by a couple people that I got the time difference between Washington and New Zealand incorrect last chapter. My apologies for that mistake, I do try to make sure it's all accurate but once in awhile I miss something. I hope you are all enjoying a wonderful holiday :) Belated Merry Christmas and an early Happy New Year! ~ Love, Aliyah_

**Thursday January 20**

Pinning Abby down had been an impossible task in the last two days, so that morning Rachel marched into the lab on a mission. The forensic scientist saw her coming and immediately came up with a litany of excuses and carefully rehearsed answers. "I can't right now. I'm swamped, okay? I love my job, I love my Gibbs, I need more sleep, and I'm learning to not be so hard on myself." She flashed the doctor a bright smile. "See how much time we just saved?"

Dr. Cranston was not about to be put off so easily. "Well I know for a fact that you can work and talk at the same time. You are a champion multitasker."

Abby paused for a brief moment of thought, then gave in. "Okay, I'm scared."

Rachel edged closer. "Of what?"

"Well," the girl began, hands moving to illustrate her point, "what if I tell you a bunch of stuff and then I learn things about myself that I totally hate?"

"That could happen, but it's unlikely," Rachel assured her, peering into the high powered microscope.

"Okay then, go ahead. Criticize me, I'm ready."

This time the psychologist smiled. "I have nothing to criticize. You are so totally grounded in self-confidence. You make goth look gorgeous and fun."

Taken aback, Abby glanced down at her choice of attire. "I'm not a goth. I'm a scientist."

"And a great one," Rachel acquiesced. "But you work too hard. Is there any Abby time?"

She shrugged. "I make sandwiches for the shelter on Sundays." Occasionally McGee dropped by to help, those were the days she enjoyed the most. They worked so well together.

"That's not relaxing," the older woman pointed out.

"I drive for the food bank." Her best friend had also been bribed on some of those travels. It was just nice to have someone to talk to while she did what she could for others.

"All work and no play." She tried a different tactic. "Do you ever hang out with any of your female co-workers?"

"I haven't really spent much time with other women from work since...well, since Kate died," Abby admitted. She swallowed. "I miss her. She was my best friend."

"I'd be concerned if you didn't," Rachel commented, "but you need someone to fill that girlfriend void."

"Ziva's great," Abby put in immediately, as if that had been in question. "We've gotten so much closer over the years." She smiled in memory. "All of us from the team had a sleepover last month, it was really fun. But there's little time to make friends outside of NCIS."

Dr. Cranston leaned against the table. "What about Agent McGee?"

"Timmy?" Abby's eyebrows rose. "Oh, he's different. We've always been best friends, ever since he started."

"And is there more to your relationship than friends?" It was obvious from spending time with them separately that the two younger team members had deep feelings for each other.

Abby frowned. "That's classified. I have work to do."

Her attention focused back on the computer and Rachel, feeling thoroughly dismissed, left without protest.

**NCIS**

Gibbs rarely got off work when it was still afternoon in LA, but he wanted out early today to escape the shrink who was practically stalking him and craved the comfort of talking to his ex-wife. He was dialing seconds after walking in the door, anxious to hear her voice.

Celeste way laying on the couch with a headache and a cold cloth when the phone rang. She winced at the jarring noise and blindly reached for it on the coffee table, nearly knocking over her mug of tea before she located the device. "Hello?" she answered softly, one hand cupping her throbbing forehead.

On the other end of the line Gibbs frowned. "You don't sound right."

"Mmm." She moaned and shifted to a different position, tucking herself closer against the back of the couch and pulling the fleece blanket up to her shoulders. "I have a headache."

There wasn't much he'd done right during their one year of marriage, but he'd always been able to soothe away the borderline migraines that struck his then-wife without warning every few months, a fact he'd never taken enough pride in when he had the chance. "Got a cold cloth?" That was always step one.

"Mmhmm." Celeste blinked, then squished her eyes shut as the dim light around the livingroom blinds attacked her sensitive irises. "Wish I could get one of your neckrubs though." It wasn't until the words left her mouth that she wondered if that comment was on the wrong side of the line her ex-husband had drawn.

Gibbs chuckled, keeping his voice low. "I'm good Les, but my reach doesn't extend to California."

Obviously losing her grip on the part of herself that still clung to a feeble hope for their future, she let the fleeting thought that flew by keep going. _But your hold on my heart does._ "I'm afraid I'm terrible company right now Jethro. Can I call you back tomorrow?"

He sighed. "Nothing I can do?"

"From DC? Unfortunately, no," she answered regretfully.

"I'll give you a raincheck for the neckrub next time you're in town."

Celeste smiled faintly. "I'll hold you to that." Which would require her going back to the East Coast, something she wasn't entirely sure they were ready for yet.

"Take it easy Les," he said, hanging up. Gibbs dragged a hand down his face and tossed the phone carelessly on the coffeetable, frustrated that his plan hadn't worked out. He got up to pace and went to the window, staring at the street outside as he remembered Celeste's first severe headache when they were together.

_It came only weeks after their wedding - he got home one day to find her laying on the couch, every blind in the house drawn and tear tracks on her face. Concerned that something terrible had happened, like a death in her family, Gibbs went over and knelt beside her._

"_Celeste?" She cringed at the sound of his voice, hands coming up to cover her ears while keeping her eyes tightly shut, and he suddenly understood. Kissing her forehead, he went in search of a clean cloth and held it under the cold water, then brought it back._

_She smiled faintly. "That feels nice." Her voice was very quiet and Gibbs sat on the coffeetable, speaking softly. "What else?"_

"_Nothing really helps. Already took Advil."_

_He didn't like feeling helpless and thought about things he could try. Finally he slid his hand under her back. "Can you sit up for a minute?"_

_Celeste made a noise of protest. "Jethro, I just need to lie here for awhile."_

"_Only for a minute Les," he persuaded, the first time he ever used the nickname._

_Slowly she complied and leaned against the back of the couch, still sitting sideways. Gibbs settled behind her and began kneading her shoulders where he'd noticed she carried her tension, working his fingers into the muscles, moving carefully up her neck and back down. At her moan of pleasure he smiled, glad to be useful. _

_The massage continued for awhile, then suddenly she straightened. "It's almost gone." Celeste looked over her shoulder at him. "It never just goes away. How did you do that?" _

_He slid his hand down her arm. "Guess I've got the touch."_

_She turned and hugged him. "Thank you." Gibbs kissed her, trying not to compare what it was like with Shannon, and they sat together for a few minutes before Celeste got up to start supper._

He'd been pretty proud of himself for making her feel better and was happy to employ his skill whenever necessary. Even later when there was so much distance between them because of the Boone case he always offered that solution for her headaches. Gibbs often wondered after Celeste left how she handled them without him and tried not to care, but she'd gotten under his skin and he found her very hard to forget. He walked back over and glared at the phone. Now he didn't want to forget his ex-wife and chafed at the miles that separated them because she was hurting and he couldn't do a darn thing to make it better from here.

**NCIS**

Rachel found Tony alone in Autopsy late that night beside the body of their suicidal XO and approached with purpose, determined to get something real from the man this time. "What do you see when you look at him Agent DiNozzo?"

Tony couldn't take his eyes off the dead man. "Man works his whole life, dedicates himself to his job, and then has nothing to show for it.

"How does that make you feel?"

Ah, the patented shrink question and one he had good reason to hate. But he almost felt the urge to chuckle at such a cliche. "Afraid." He finally made eye contact with her. "I'm a good agent Dr. Cranston, a really good one."

"I know," she said meaningfully. "And so do a lot of other people."

Could she see that's what hurt the most, everything his co-workers missed on a daily basis? The way they never bothered to see past the surface, to see how hard he worked when no one else was watching or bothered to care?

"But you can be more. Has anyone ever told you that?"

He already was more. More than anyone ever saw, and all because of Ziva. Before they'd been anything other than partners who barely tolerated each other she'd gotten sick of his act and raised the bar to see if he'd bother reaching for it. She was one of the first people outside of the gang to challenge him to be something different, to be better than the example his father had set. If it wasn't for his wife he really would have nothing to show for his life.

There was something about the way the doctor looked at him and Tony suddenly remembered Kate and the way she pushed and nagged at him all the time. Like she knew what he was thinking, Dr. Cranston went on. "Maybe Agent Todd was hard on you because she knew what you were really capable of." He was starting to put the pieces together but she beat him to it. "Too bad she never got a chance to tell you that."

Very slowly Tony smiled and it was best expression she'd seen him wear in days. She began wondering how her little sister ever managed to say no to him. "I think I just realized who you are, Rachel."

**NCIS**

Ziva was already in bed when he got home and Tony sat on the edge of the mattress, brushing a hand over her hair. She opened her eyes. "I wasn't sleeping yet."

"Just thinking seriously about it." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her mouth.

"I would have waited, but I did not know when you were coming back." Or if, he'd been so bothered by having Dr. Cranston around.

Tony feathered his fingers through her dark waves. "Sorry, I should've texted to let you know." He sighed. "Rachel cornered me in Autopsy."

Surprise claimed her face. "That is the first time I've heard you use her name."

His lips curved up. "Yeah, I finally figured her out. Took me long enough. They have the same eyes."

Ziva frowned. "Who?"

Tony laced their fingers together. "She's Kate's sister."

That was completely unexpected and her gaze searched his as she pushed herself up and touched his cheek. "Are you okay?"

He nodded slowly. "Sometimes I forget because it's easier to remember how much we didn't get along. Kate thought I was a good agent. We teased and bickered like actual siblings and I'm sure Gibbs felt like a babysitter more often than not, but deep down we were friends. I don't want the way she died to overshadow that truth."

Never knowing what to do when Kate came up, Ziva hugged her husband. "We would have gotten along then. I think you are good at your job and I am very proud of you."

Tony captured her lips, speaking of gratitude and love for a long time before finally stripping out of his clothes and laying down beside her. "Thank you honey, for letting me remember. I love you."

**NCIS**

**Friday January 21**

The following morning Gibbs walked in holding two cups of coffee, pausing at the edge of the bullpen to observe the woman sleeping behind Kate's...behind Ziva's desk. It was so similar to a time he'd come across her sister in the same position that he couldn't help but smile. Adjusting the jacket covering her and setting the fragrant cup right in front of her nose, he moved back a bit to watch her wake up. "So, how'd we do?"

"I can't tell," she hedged. "Doctor-patient privilege." Even though he probably knew more than she'd just spent the better part of a week figuring out.

"Ah, come on Doc, it's me."

"There's still one agent I haven't spoken to yet." Rachel eyed him pointedly.

"Well, that's not gonna happen."

She started to sit up. "I forgot. You're perfect."

So far from the truth it was almost a laughable statement. "No. No, I'm just too set in my ways to change now." Although, for the sake of his faint hope that he and Celeste might beat the odds, he'd likely be changing a lot of things he'd never seen the need to before. "You know," he continued, "when you were lying there a second ago you looked just like your sister." Painful memories flitted briefly through his mind. "I'm glad you reached out. Find what you were looking for?"

Rachel's countenance shadowed. "I finally got to meet the people closest to Kate when she died."

"Closure?"

Now she was the one having difficulty making eye contact. "Some." She took a sip of coffee to cover the emotion breaking through her voice. "You've all been better at letting go than I have."

"You don't forget, you just move on." Gibbs shared the wisdom born of experience. Rachel had no reply. "Come on, I wanna show you something."

"Where are we going?"

He helped her on with her jacket. "Home."

Down in the basement Gibbs led her by the hand to stand in the spot where Ari bled out. "Right here. Look down. You feel that?"

She shook her head. "What?"

"This is where the guy who murdered Kate died." Wide eyes sought his for clarification. "This is where Ziva shot her own brother. That's closure, the rest is just memories. Nothing wrong with memories."

Rachel remembered a long ago phone call with her sister while Gibbs poured his patented remedy into a jar. "I couldn't go to the funeral. I didn't...want to remember her like that." She accepted the offering, swallowing bourbon with none of the usual complaining his other guests did at the taste.

"Families all grieve in different ways." He wondered vaguely if she knew how he'd handled losing the girls.

Dr. Cranston changed the subject by telling him a riddle. He got it right and she tried one last time to get inside his head. "It's all about responses Agent Gibbs. When we keep things bottled up inside even the harshest reaction seems acceptable."

Gibbs knew it was a veiled reference to his shooting of Shannon and Kelly's killer so his silent question had been answered, though how she ever got her hands on that information he didn't want to know. Still, something about the woman made him believe that she, like her sister, could be trusted to keep it to herself.

**NCIS**

"But I don't want to go to Aunt Allie's and Uncle Jay's. I want to see Grampa." McKenna's opinion was stated firmly and her parents exchanged glances.

"Didn't you have fun last week when Uncle Red came over?" Mark asked. They'd only raved about it for the whole weekend.

"Yes," she admitted grudgingly.

"So there's no reason you shouldn't have fun tonight as well," Cassie pointed out.

"But I don't want to!" she all but shrieked and Mark's eyebrows rose.

"McKenna Quinn," he said sternly. "You will not take that tone with your mother, do you understand me?"

Chastened, the little girl stared at the floor. "Yes sir."

"I want you to apologize."

"Sry," she mumbled under her breath.

He knelt down to his daughter's level. "So she can hear you. And please look into people's eyes when you talk to them."

McKenna sighed heavily, her gaze rising to meet her mother's. "Sorry Mommy."

Cassie hugged her. "I forgive you. And I know this isn't easy guys, changing our routine." She put her hand on Alec's shoulder. "It's hard when you're used to something always being the same."

"Then why can't we just go to Grampa's like we did before?" Alec asked, just as put out as his sister with the new arrangement but in this moment wise enough not to act like it.

Mark and Cassie conversed silently again and he took the lead. "Grampa just got married Alec. We want to give him and Claire some time alone together until being married isn't so new anymore."

The boy chewed on his lip. "Will that be a long time?"

"Not a very long time, but it may seem long to you and Ken."

The siblings looked at each other. "Will Uncle Jay and Aunt Allie play a game with us? Grampa always plays games with us."

"If you ask them to I'm sure they'd be delighted," Cassie smiled, relieved that her daughter was warming to their plans. Not that they would changed them if McKenna didn't, but as a mother she didn't want to leave cranky children with her best friend. "Would you like to bring one from home?"

"Battleship," Alec voted, at the same time McKenna answered. "The Memory Game."

Mark chuckled. "I guess it won't hurt to bring both. Can you grab them from the cupboard Alec? And Ken, did you remember Raya? You'll need her for the movie." The teddy bear Ryan had gifted his cousin with on her last birthday remained a favourite, especially during their traditional weekend film choices.

"Oops, I forgot." She dashed back upstairs and bounded down again, teddy in hand. "I'm ready."

"Good." Bundled up and packed in the car a few minutes later, Mark and Cassie breathed a sigh of relief that things were moving along. Cassie did warn Allie when they dropped the kids off at the apartment that there was potential for some challenging moments, but her friend wasn't concerned.

"Cass, I've known them since they were both in diapers and Jordan has been around longer, I think we'll be fine."

"Okay, thanks." She glanced over Allie's shoulder at Alec and McKenna setting up a game with Jordan as Mark started to tug her away.

"Go and have fun," Allie ordered. "We've got this."

"Right." Cassie gave into her husband's urging and followed him down the hall. When they were back in the car she leaned her head on the seat and sighed. "Do you think we can make this work? The kids are not happy that things are different."

Mark wove their fingers together. "We decided even before they were born that we wouldn't let the kids run things honey. Date night is important for us as parents and for our marriage. They don't understand, but it's for them too because we're better equipped to parent them when we have time alone to decompress, regroup, take a break, and focus on us before another week begins."

She rubbed her face. "I know. But I hated seeing that look on Ken's face tonight, like we were ruining something good in their lives and they were going to hate us for it."

He kissed her knuckles. "All kids go through phases where their parents can't do anything right. We have to be prepared for the times they're going to act as if they don't even like us, let alone love us. They're entitled to their feelings and we'll deal with the attitudes and disrespect as they come. I'm not pretending it'll be easy, I know my siblings and I gave our parents more than their share of grief over the years, but it's all forgotten now."

Cassie chuckled. "Look at what I missed out on by being an only child."

Sometimes he wondered how different she would be if she'd grown up with all the siblings that never made it to full term, but he was so thankful for the woman he'd married. "We'll face it together okay?"

"Yeah." She leaned over and pressed her lips to his. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

"Well Mr. Reece," she smiled, "shall we go on a date?"

"My lovely Mrs. Reece, I believe we shall." Back on even ground they went into their night with a better outlook on things, but both knew that the subject was far from closed and Mark wondered exactly what they would face next week when it happened all over again.

**NCIS**

After Rachel left Gibbs desperately wanted to talk to Celeste but couldn't bring himself to bother her if she still wasn't feeling well. He'd thought about her during any downtime through the day, wondering how she was and his relief was intense when the phone rang after 2200 and her voice came over the line. "Hello Jethro."

"Les," he breathed. "How're you doing?"

She smiled. "Much better, thank you."

"I was worried," Gibbs confessed, dropping onto the couch and reaching for his carving knife and the piece he was currently working on.

"It's sweet of you to care." Celeste settled in her favourite chair, twisting the phone cord around her fingers. She liked old fashioned things. "How was your day?"

He sighed and dropped the carving supplies in a box on the end table. Celeste was patient with the delay, listening and trying to figure out what he was doing. Heading downstairs, he poured another drink. "Mandatory psyche evals this week."

"Uh-oh." She knew how he felt about those. "Did you pass?"

Gibbs shook his head. "This one was different. Dr. Cranston is Kate's sister."

Celeste had been in DC when Kate was killed and experienced some of the fallout with him. She expected he would carry the guilt of it not being him for the rest of his life. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.

Gibbs hit the speaker button and set his phone on the boat, grabbing a tool to continue shaping the rudder. "Yeah, I am. It was kind of like closure to see her, see Kate in her. They were close." He blew away some sawdust. "I'm glad for the time we had with Kate."

Celeste smiled. "She kept you on your toes."

"Some of the stuff she and DiNozzo pulled," he shook his head. "Kate was good for us."

"So is Ziva," she pointed out, hoping he didn't still feel divided loyalties.

Gibbs nodded. "Kate didn't need anyone, she wanted to be recognized for her abilities not her gender. Ziva came in here exuding confidence and pretending she had no feelings, but she needs us as much as we need her."

The door opened and his daughter's voice could be heard on the first floor. "Abba?"

He chuckled. "Gotta go Les, a kid just walked in."

"We'll talk next week. Stay safe Jethro."

"Send some sunshine this way." Ziva's footsetps started down the steps and he slapped the phone closed.

She descended all the way and approached him slowly, eyeing the device. "Am I interrupting?"

"Nope." Gibbs waited, knowing she was here for a reason.

Ziva tugged on her sleeves. It had taken her the whole hour at Ops to work out what she wanted to say to him and even at the end she opted for a long shower instead of leaving right away, putting off the inevitable as long as possible. "Tony told me who Dr. Cranston is. I am sorry Gibbs. I think...to have her here and then to look at me is just a reminder of-"

He laid a finger over her lips. "I know you're sensitive to Kate Ziver, but we do not regret you." His big rough hand cupped her cheek. "We miss her. Kate's death was a terrible loss. You are the gift that came out of it." Gibbs kissed her forehead. "Love you kid."

Ziva fell against him and wept for a tragedy she felt responsible for, the grace she didn't deserve, her brother's blood on the floor, and the family she'd found where love had no conditions or limits. It was something she shouldn't've had to wait almost fifteen years to have again.

**NCIS**

When Ziva returned home Tony jumped up off the couch and came to her. "How'd it go?" He'd been a bit on edge since she texted him earlier with her plans.

She had to blink back more tears almost immediately and found herself engulfed in her husband's arms. "He said all the right things," she whispered. "I am so thankful to know a father's love again. He is filling a void that has been empty for a very long time."

One of Tony's thumbs swept away the moisture on her cheek. "I'm glad you have that bond with him honey. We all need some kind of father figure in our lives."

Ziva almost said something about reaching out to his but she didn't want to spoil the moment. Several heartbeats later she smiled. "I think you are right about Gibbs' girlfriend."

His eyes lit up. "Yeah? Really? What'd you find out?"

"Nothing for certain," she admitted. "But he was very quick to close the phone when he saw me on the stairs."

"Just as I suspected," Tony gloated, holding his finger up in the air like Sherlock Holmes on the verge of a breakthrough. "There's definitely something going on here."

"You don't say," she responded dryly, amused by his theatrics.

He gave her a look. "How often have you seen Gibbs use a phone for more than ten seconds for a matter not related to casework?" Her mouth opened and then closed as a mental search came up empty. "I rest my case," Tony declared, pressing a brief kiss to her lips. "Now does tonight's emotional state call for chocolate or ice cream? I can't really tell those situations apart."

Ziva giggled and brought his mouth back to hers. "It calls for cuddling." On second thought though, the offer was appealing. "But if we could find something sweet and salty I would not turn that down."

Determined to please, he dug around in the top shelf treat box and came up with half a bag of chocolate covered pretzels, holding it out with raised eyebrows. "Perfect," she confirmed, so they returned to the couch and watched the end of a _Mysterious Ways_ episode, slowly feeding each other pretzel pieces and sharing the occasional chocolatey kiss. It was the best end to a trying day and Ziva decided her husband should be thanked in a physical way for his thoughtfulness. A smile curved over her lips as she planned just what she'd do for him in the morning to convey her gratitude.

**NCIS**

**Saturday January 22 - 4 am Washington DC/10 pm New Zealand**

Adrian and Emma were laying together in bed after another fun-filled day spent with his family, Adrian holding his wife in front of him and tucked close to his body. Emma traced her fingers over his arm. "You know one of the things I love most about being married?"

He kissed her jaw, unable to guess. There wasn't anything he didn't love about being married. "No, what?"

She gave a contented sigh. "Having someone to lean on, knowing you're a safe place to relax, to share the burdens of life." Emma touched his wedding ring, never tiring of the claim it gave her, silently announcing to the world that this wonderful man was her husband, hers and hers alone. She'd waited a lot of years for that gift. "For so long it was just me and God against the world, which was fine, but it's really nice having someone else on my side."

Adrian tightened his arm around her, waiting to make sure she was finished before he added his part. "Me too. With Cam so far away and my parents gone..." he shrugged a little. "The gang is great, don't get me wrong, but to belong to one person, to know I'm yours and you're mine for the rest of our lives..." He paused again to kiss her neck, resting his forehead on her shoulder. "I think the best word I have for this feeling is relief. Thanks for giving me the stability I've been missing for almost twenty years."

She turned in his embrace, cupping his face in her hands. "Adrian, I am honoured to have that responsibility. I love you."

He dipped his head to catch her lips, kissing her slowly and for as long as he could before drawing another breath. "I love you too sweetheart."

There was so much more he wanted to say, things he wanted to express, but it was just more of the same thanks over and over, trying to tell her what a treasure she was to him, his absolute greatest gift - even more so than the gang despite the way they'd practically saved his life in college. Marriage went deeper than those friendships to a level nothing else could reach, and he would never get tired having her as his safe place. But sometimes words ruined the moment so he simply stared into her eyes, caressing her cheek gently, and poured out his love in a language that required nothing to be spoken out loud. Being here with his wife was the best of everything.

**NCIS**

**Washington DC 11 am**

Tony lay across the bed stroking the inside of Ziva's hip. "I think this is the softest skin on your body."

Ziva smirked. "That is not what I expected you to say."

He trailed tender kisses over her breasts. "Well, these are pretty nice too."

Her eyebrows drew together. "You know, I have never understood the fascination men have with breasts. What is the big deal?"

"_Notting Hill_. Not an exact quote, but you caught the general idea." A blank stare was all he got and Tony rubbed a hand over his head. "Have we really never watched that one together?" Ziva shook her head. "Aw man!" he lamented. "There are some good make out moments in that movie. I totally need to take advantage of this opportunity."

"You need a movie to make out with me?" she questioned.

"No. Absolutely not," Tony shook his head emphatically. "It does, however, make the experience a tiny bit more fun."

Ziva ran a hand down his arm. "You get very distracted when we play that game. We have missed important moments in many films because you cannot keep your hands to yourself."

His mouth dropped. "Me?" he squeaked indignantly. "Like you've never copied a movie scene and used it as an excuse to feel me up?" Her eyes glittered dangerously and he wondered if he should move out of range. "Where's your paperclip?"

The ire disappeared and laughter bubbled up from Ziva's throat. "Nowhere close enough to use," she assured him.

Tony was still suspicious. "You ever strangled someone with a bedsheet?"

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

He wrinkled his nose. That would require thinking of her in bed with another guy so, "No. Nope, I think I can live without that information, thank you."

She stretched luxuriously and combed her fingers through the wild mane of curls. "You did not answer my question."

Tony sighed. "I don't know if I can explain it Zi."

"Try," Ziva insisted. "I would like to know."

Oh boy, some of the off-colour conversations he and the other guys on the basketball team had engaged in when Mark wasn't around to be their moral center. But a lot of it had been posturing to cover for their own insecurities and he couldn't claim to have ever had a serious discussion lately to find out what the male half of the gang loved about that part of their womens' anatomies. The topic had never come up and it would be inappropriate anyways. They all respected their significant others more than that.

"Some of it is...not going to sound very manly," he managed at last.

"You do not have to be macho for me Tony," she replied, sensing he was going to get real.

His finger traced the shape of her breast. "I guess one great thing about them is that they's soft and inviting and...comforting." He felt like an idiot and only the sincere gaze of wife encouraged him to keep going. "Life isn't nice. Sometimes it's sharp and hard and cold, but it doesn't seem that bad when you're cuddling naked in bed with a lovely pair of breasts to fondle." Tony brushed his lips over the top of one. "You let me fall asleep with my head on your chest sometimes. My guess is it does the same thing for me as it does for you when you're laying on me."

"Does size matter?" she ventured. Having nothing in common with some of the well-endowed women in his movies, it was something to wonder about.

Tony's eyes widened. "Of course not! And if I haven't already gone out of my way to show my appreciation for that area of your body, it's a mistake I'm determined to remedy at the earliest convenience. Which could be now," he added, a bit of roguishness in his smile. "Trust me honey, guys think boobs are beautiful no matter what cup size you are. We love them because they're part of the woman we love. And it definitely gives us a boost to know that caressing you the right way there can enhance your pleasure during sex." He let his fingers wander over her smooth skin and continued trying to get the explanation right. "Part of the fascination probably comes from the fact that they're normally covered up. A woman's chest is forbidden territory until you're married and she gives you permission to do more than just get distracted looking there when she's trying to talk to you."

Ziva poked him. "Yes, I have noticed that your eyes tend to drift below my face sometimes."

He winced. "It's not an insult. It's actually a compliment. Like, 'wow, her breasts are so nice and I just want to touch them and possibly take her to bed for the whole experience', then I remember I'm supposed to be listening."

"It is true then, what they say about men having a one way mind."

Tony choked on a laugh. "One track mind. And yeah, guilty sometimes. But the rest of the time I do try very hard to pay attention. And it's not hard to get lost in those gorgeous brown eyes either. Back on topic though, I'm not sure boobs would be such a big deal if they were just out in the open all the time. As it is now, it's pretty easy to get a thrill even from unhooking the clasp on your bra."

"Is that all it takes?" she asked with one eyebrow raised.

"Less sometimes," he muttered, feeling exposed and not just because neither of them was wearing any clothes.

Ziva seemed deep in thought for a few minutes after that, leaving time for Tony to get very self-conscious about what he'd shared. Finally though she smiled and beckoned him closer with a crook of her finger. When he got right in her face she kissed him slowly and cradled his jaw in her hands. "Thank you for answering my question."

Tony's concentration was a little long in returning because there were so many nice things to distract him in that moment. Then he gave her a half-grin. "Get what you needed?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I wanted to know you a little better and you gave me that."

His mouth took over hers as soon as the words faded from the air between them and some very enjoyable making out followed. What he couldn't find a way to express out loud, Tony tried to convey through his lips and touch and his wife's response let him know she understood. Thinking of it later, he would peg that as being one of their best talks - open, honest, and caring. Nothing like all of those at the right time to cultivate an intimacy they would never take for granted.

**NCIS**

"My turn to spoil you," Tony insisted a couple hours later, leading her into Creative Expressions, the specialty art shop in Silver Spring where he'd gotten the initial sketch pad and pencils after Somalia and several little gifts since then. This was the first time she'd come with him.

Todd, the floor manager, recognized the man he'd seen often over the past couple years and greeted him with a handshake. "Tony, how are you? And this must be that lovely wife you're always raving about. Pleased to meet you."

"A pleasure," Ziva nodded, leaning against Tony's side. She did so love the claim of that title.

"Can I point you in the right direction today?"

Tony shook his head. "Thanks, but since she's the expert I'll let her choose." He rubbed her shoulders and grinned. "I think we're going to be here for awhile."

It had literally been years since the last time Ziva set foot in an art store, so she was in no hurry. She wandered slowly through each aisle, picking up and examining every and anything that caught her eye. Along the way Ziva shared bits about her favourite pencils and colours to use, what she loved to draw most, things she hoped to one day capture, and how it made her feel to put the world around her down on paper. Tony loved getting to learn things about her he'd never thought to ask before.

He reluctantly released her hand when she reached for a package of coloured pencils and continued the topic. "Who taught you how to draw Zi?"

She tipped her head to the side, thinking about the question. "I'm not sure anyone did." His expression encouraged her to elaborate. "I loved putting pencil or crayon to paper even from a very young age and Ari, tolerant big brother that he was, would sit with me in front of the coffee table and help me draw anything I wanted, even though at twelve I am sure there were many other things he would've rathered be doing. Once I started school art was part of the curriculum and I had a teacher when I was about ten who recognized that I had talent and nurtured it however she could. Ima was proud of anything I made even if it was not very good. Papa..."

Ziva trailed off, her eyes glazed over for a moment before she shook herself, for once not correcting Eli's title. "When I was very small I would bring him my drawings as gifts or for approval. I can remember so many times I appeared in his office while he was busy, waving a sheet of paper. He always stopped what he was doing and lifted me up onto his knee so I could tell him about it." Her brow furrowed as she searched her memory. "I do not remember when those moments stopped, when work consumed his attention and he barely gave my offerings any notice." A flicker of sadness pierced her heart before she refused to let it in and moved on.

"After that Ari was the one to receive my sketches and he made me the portfolio Aunt Nettie brought so I had somewhere to keep them safe." She paused for a moment and Tony didn't press. These were the things he wanted to know and over the years he'd gotten better at separating Brother Ari from Ari-Who-Killed-Kate. He would never ask her not to share these times in her life. "I think he loved listening to me talk about my drawings because it allowed him to forget, for a little while, all the responsibilities and expectations that were being forced on him." Her lips curved slightly. "I like that I was able to be an escape for him."

"And Tali?" he asked when she appeared to be finished.

A fond smile touched her lips. "Once she was old enough - four - she and I, the much wiser older sister at nine, would lay in the grass under shady trees so I could teach her to do what I did." Ziva shook her head slightly. "She was the dreamer, the princess. She wanted to draw flowers and butterflies and fairies and clouds. Always full of daydreams and hope that one." She swallowed and looked down. "I miss hearing her dream."

Knowing nothing to say the would ease her losses, he simply threaded his fingers through hers and squeezed gently. When they came to the end of the rows he gestured to the store. "See anything you can't leave without?"

Ziva leaned over to kiss his cheek. "You are the only thing I cannot leave without, but yes, there are a few supplies I would very much like to bring home."

Tony grabbed a basket. "Lead on m'lady."

They got tea afterwards and a late lunch at a fast food place. Then, over her protests that she'd already gotten enough today, he drove her to Barnes and Nobel where they parted ways for awhile to peruse their favourite sections and met back near the entrance to take a circuit together before checking out. Back in the car Ziva shifted in the seat to face him. "I am quite happy with what I found, and I thank you for being my chauffeur today, but what do you plan to do with your half of our winnings?"

He fiddled with the keys. "I think I'm just going to hang onto it for now. I can't think of anything I want."

Her eyebrows drew together and she looked at the bags by her feet. "You make me feel selfish."

Tony grinned. "Don't. I'm just not as decisive as you."

It wasn't her favourite answer because she suspected he was deflecting and declining to give his real answer, but she did not want to push him yet. Once at home all her purchases were left in the office and she perched on the arm of the sofa when he returned from letting Meira out. "I believe this morning you mentioned a movie we need to see together?"

_Notting Hill _provided some very enjoyable makeout moments and gave Ziva a chuckle at the scene reminiscent of their conversation earlier. He caught her staring at her nails when he came out of the bathroom after the credits rolled and took her hand in his. "Whatcha thinking?"

She flexed her fingers absently. "The manicure I got on vacation is beginning to grow out." A sigh pushed itself free. "It makes me sad to see the last evidence of our vacation fading."

Tony kissed the back of her hand. "Still got that painting in our room to help you remember."

"I'm not going to forget, but sometimes I wish it had been possible to stay for months instead of less than two weeks."

He couldn't promise her their next vacation would be longer or that the secret would no longer be one of the burdens they tried to escape, so he simply brushed his lips across her temple and let her feel the loss for a few moments before coaxing her towards the kitchen so they could start supper. The day ended on a quiet note, with Ziva saying little more than necessary until they lay facing each other under the covers, both moving closer to share one last kiss before settling in for the night.

She held on a little longer than usual before pulling away, her palm warm against his cheek. "I'm so grateful to have someone to kiss goodnight. There have been so many lonely nights in my life, but this life with you makes up for all of them. Thank you ahava."

Tony thought briefly about when she returned to Mossad after Jenny's death, Agent Afloat, Somalia, her assignment in Miami, and every other time they'd been apart. His hands slid over the silky fabric of her negligee as he pulled her into him. "I'm so glad you chose me as the one to fill those nights Ziva. I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world."

Her response was given in soft lips pressed to his collarbone as she turned her face into his neck, her nose against the place he applied cologne every morning. There was no greater feeling than knowing you held in your arms everything that mattered in life. Tony had known the truth for years and it was one he didn't plan to lose sight of - his wife would always be that something that was more important than anything else he could ever see or have or accomplish. Put simply, she was his everything.

_Replies:_

_Debbie - Adrian and Emma have been gone for so long I almost forgot to add some stuff about their vacation in but God reminded me. I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, I haven't got much experience dealing with shrinks but it never seems to work out so well for our NCIS people. It was nice to get the chance to explore behind the scenes of how it affected everyone. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	36. 8x14 A Man Walks Into a Bar 3

**Sunday January 23**

CJ was already sitting propped up by pillows in bed when Brent opened his eyes. It was still early, before seven he guessed by the barely gray morning sky. His wife's fingers slid slowly through his hair while she looked at him with a loving but sad expression and he caught her hand, brushing a kiss to the palm. "Whatcha thinking about?"

Her gaze shadowed briefly. "Do you know what today is?"

Brent wracked his brain to recall the exact date. "The twenty-third?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "January twenty-third."

It took him a minute to work out why that date seemed significant, then the memory hit him. One year ago today she bolted with Ryan and for a terrifying, miserable week he thought he'd lost them. "Oh." He cleared his throat. "Not runnin' this time, right?"

CJ leaned over her husband, pressing her lips gently to his. "Not a chance MacKay, you're stuck with me."

Brent wrapped his arms around her and rolled them over. "Good," he whispered hoarsely, claiming her mouth out of need for comfort as much as from desire.

For an all too short period of time after that CJ demonstrated the depth of her commitment and love to her husband and afterwards they lay in each other's arms. He moved some hair away from her face. "That's a nice way to start the day."

She smirked and shrugged. "I suppose there could be worse ways." Brent took full advantage of knowing her ticklish spots and CJ stifled her laughter in the blanket lest they wake their son with the commotion. When he finally relented she collapsed back on the pillow. "We should skip basketball today."

"Oh?"

She caressed his chest. "I was thinking a nice lunch out at Red Robin after church, then a cozy afternoon of us snuggling on the couch watching all three of the Narnia movies. You know, and actually finish them this time? We just need a family day."

Surprised but appreciating how much thought she'd put into making this day so much different than the last, he agreed, making a mental note to text Mark before they left the house. No need to worry Papa Smurf needlessly. This time nothing was wrong, it was very right. "That sounds great Kris, thanks."

CJ sighed softly in his ear. "Thank you for not giving up."

Brent simply held her tighter. There had been no other option, with CJ and Ryan he'd always been in too deep.

**NCIS**

"Shalom Doda, thanks for your help."

Nettie smiled. "It had been my pleasure achyan. Your Hebrew is coming along nicely."

"Not that you'd know it the way Ziva keeps laughing at me," he muttered darkly.

Ziva pecked his lips. "I tease you with love."

The older woman chuckled. "Enjoy your afternoon."

"Chalomot paz," Ziva offered, wishing her aunt golden dreams.

They signed off and Tony turned to her. "Admit it, you have just as much fun correcting my Hebrew as I do your English. Maybe even more."

She put her hand on his neck, drawing him close for a proper kiss. "After five years I think I have earned it, yes?"

He sighed. "Okay, fine, I'll give you that one." Stretching and leaning back in the chair, he changed the subject. "Want to go hang out at the barn for a bit? I thought maybe I could watch you and Jules show off in the ring."

"And abandon Jax?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"Well, I won't completely ignore him or anything, but I'm more in a spectating mood than a participating one."

Ziva considered the suggestion. "Could we do a late dinner out?" As much fun as their vacation had been, she knew it also took a bit of a toll on their regular finances.

Tony folded their fingers together. "Absolutely." It wasn't like they indulged very often and he never wanted to turn down an opportunity to show her off and make all the other guys jealous because his wife was off limits.

A beautiful smile spread across her face and she jumped up. "I will go get changed."

He waited until she left to allow himself a congratulatory grin. His wife was happy, mission accomplished.

**NCIS**

Tony stretched after getting in bed and slid his hand under Ziva's pillow, intending to share the space while he slept with her nestled against him. But when his fingers encountered the cold steel and unmistakable shape of a gun, he sat up halfway. "Something you want to tell me?"

Ziva remained on her side with her eyes closed, though her lips curved up. "It should not come as a surprise. You know I sleep with a gun."

He vividly remembered the way in which he discovered that little tidbit, having the muzzle of her weapon pressed to his cheek because he woke her up to interrupt the snoring he was now certain she'd been doing on purpose as that hadn't been a problem since they got married. "Yeah," he agreed slowly, "but the last time that actually happened was-" Tony cut off the sentence, doing his best to avoid any mention of May 2009 and what that month and the ones that followed had cost them.

She moved to her back and looked up at him, no censure in her gaze. "A long time ago, yes." Sometimes she couldn't believe it had already been over a year and a half since their world was turned upside-down.

Tony's lips grazed her forehead. "What changed?"

Ziva slid her hand down his arm. "Me." He drew her close and she smiled. "I am almost afraid to say it out loud, but I think the nightmares are gone." Her last one had been seven and a half weeks ago and she'd never had a stretch that long before. "I couldn't trust my reactions any sooner than now. I couldn't risk hurting you or Meira while trapped in a memory and unable to tell what is real."

"But now?"

She smiled. "Now I can. And though sleeping beside you is my greatest security, I do like having my gun within reach and knowing I can help defend us if necessary."

Tony relaxed again and they shifted into their usual favourite position. He kissed her neck and shoulder, finally content. "It's nice to have you back Ninja." He wondered if she had any idea how hot he found her dangerous side to be. Things were definitely looking up.

**NCIS**

**Monday January 24**

Tony stayed at NCIS after work to use the training gym while Ziva went to Ops and again found herself paired with Derek for krav maga - not fighting in the ring but for training this time. She enjoyed herself thoroughly, shook the dust off a couple old skills and picked up a few new tricks. Thinking to share a shower with her husband, Ziva texted him to come home as is and beat him back to their place.

Knowing he wouldn't be slow about something like this, she started the water and heard the front door slam as she peeled a damp workout shirt over her head. Tony arrived in time to see her step under the spray and quickly divested himself of all clothing to join her. When he tried to jump right into other activities Ziva shook her head, laying ground rules for getting clean first and having fun second. In the end it was worth the wait and Tony kissed her slowly as they came down from their high.

His thumb rubbed gently over her cheek. "Thanks honey, that was a nice surprise."

She pressed in closer. "It should not always be on you to initiate our intimacy and I just wanted to be close tonight."

He traced lazy patterns over her back and finally released her so they could get out and dried. With only a towel wrapped around his waist Tony stayed in front of the mirror while Ziva left to get dressed. "Just gonna take care of this five o'clock shadow first." She was wearing the fuzzy blue polar bear pyjamas he'd once teased her about when he came out, sitting on the couch studying what appeared to be pamphlets strewn across the coffee table. He joined her, curious. "What's all this?"

"Brochures."

Tony rolled his eyes. "I can see that. For what?"

Ziva shrugged. "Language courses."

His jaw dropped. "Seriously?" She nodded and he stared blankly at the papers. "Ziva, what other possible language could you need to know? How is ten not enough?"

"There are many languages I do not speak Tony," she stated matter of factly. "And because I no longer use them at NCIS the way I did with Mossad, I do not have the same command of them anymore. It is on my New Year's Resolution list to sweep up on the ones I know and challenge myself by choosing something new."

"Brush up," Tony corrected gently. Then he gave up on the disbelief and chuckled. "So, what are the reigning favourites?"

She ran her fingers over the pamphlets. "I am not sure. I was looking for one that is different. Sign language is very interesting, as is Swahili, but I am leaning towards Hawaiian."

He glanced at the DVD shelves. "I knew I would regret introducing you to Hawaii Five-0."

Ziva elbowed him. "It is a very good show."

"I'm not arguing that. I just didn't expect it to lead to...this," he gestured at the brochures again.

"We could learn it together," she offered.

Interest flickered through his gaze. "Thinking of a destination for our next trip?"

She shrugged. "Maybe for our ten year anniversary." And added silently, _once they all know_.

"I could get into that," Tony said after a moment of consideration. He nudged her knee. "What else is on your list?" He remembered seeing it a few weeks ago but she hadn't been ready to share yet.

Ziva pulled a folded paper from the back pocket of her jeans and handed it over. He smoothed it out carefully, studying the five things listed, and eventually pointed at the last one. "Undercover 'I love you'?"

She smiled a little. "I was thinking about _The Princess Bride_ and _Holes_, how they used different words for 'I love you', and decided we need a phrase like that, something we can say at work in front of others without anyone suspecting the real meaning."

Tony grinned. "Our own version of 'As you wish' and 'I can fix that'? I like it ninja."

"Yes," she sighed. "Except I have been unable to come up with something acceptable."

Mentally scrolling through possible phrases, he muttered to himself as he alternately considered and discarded options. "'On your six?' 'Got your back?' Fits at work but we wouldn't want to overuse them. 'Pleasure's all mine' 'At your service'? If we started talking like that to each other it would be immediately suspicious. 'Just my luck' 'Make my day'? Doesn't really sound romantic. Not that it's supposed to, but still." After awhile he frowned. "I see what you mean. This is harder than it looks."

"And we cannot use another language because that is not normal."

"You could get away with it," Tony countered, "not me." After another minute of pondering this new dilemma he got distracted and went back to her list. "Find a way to thank my husband for everything he has done for me since I came back from Somalia." He leaned over and kissed her. "Nailed that one." The medal now sat proudly on his dresser, open for them to see every day.

"Begin training for a new skill (or reacquaint myself with some old ones - ask Duke). Krav maga, check." He put an invisible checkmark beside number two while she smiled and continued. "Find a new language to learn. Work in progress. Make a change regarding my appearance." Tony fingered a few strands of hair. "That highlights look great, mission accomplished. That's a very achievable list Zi."

She hugged one knee to her chest. "I did not want to be unrealistic." Though the unspoken resolution remained - take another step towards letting our secret be revealed (no matter how terrifying that is). Ziva tilted her head to the side. "Did you make a list ahava?"

Tony shifted. The first thing he couldn't tell her, preferring once/week flowers for no reason at all except to show his wife how important and special she was to him to be a happy surprise. Instead he started at the second one. "Talk to Dad more often," he shared. "The guy made an effort for Christmas, I guess it's my turn."

Her hand was laid on his knee. "I think that is a very mature goal considering your history. What else?"

He shrugged. "It's kind of a blank after that. Last year we did pretty good with progress, I haven't chosen anything new yet." Except maybe getting Ziva pregnant, but he wouldn't be sharing that one with her either.

Ziva's brow furrowed. "I did not know we had a list last year."

Tony chuckled nervously. "That's because I never told you."

"Will you now?"

He laced their fingers together. "There were some pretty heavy ones honey. Stop seeing a shrink. Get our intimacy back on track. See the last of Ziva's nightmares."

She pursed her lips. "Anything normal?"

"Sure," he nodded. "Get in shape. Learn Hebrew. Go riding once/week. Save for in vitro." One shoulder shrugged. "That's the gist of it."

"Only two are works in progress," she said quietly. "I think we did well, even if I was not aware of it."

"I was just trying not to add any extra pressure to what you already felt," Tony explained. "I know you had at least a couple of those on your own private list of goals."

She conceded with a nod and they were quiet for awhile. Then Tony suddenly sat up and snapped his fingers. "Champagne!"

Ziva frowned. "Excuse me?"

"Champagne and strawberries," he repeated.

"Neither of which we have. I do not understand."

He grabbed both her hands. "For our undercover 'I love you'. It doesn't have to be a phrase per say. It could just be a handful of words that are significant to us and every time we use one in a sentence you know it means 'I love you'."

Her eyes lit up to match his excitement. "I had not thought about that. It's perfect."

Tony was feeling very pleased with himself. "So champagne and strawberries for our honeymoon."

"Horses," Ziva offered. "Or perhaps rock climbing?" That had been one of their first dates and he had definitely been showing off to impress her. It worked.

"Ocean, for our time in St. Martins. Or swimming," he suggested.

"Bahamas." Her cheeks heated remembering their brief getaway.

"M&amp;Ms, from last Hanukkah when you taught me to play dreidel."

"Pool," she added, thinking about the time with his old co-workers.

"_Paycheck_," Ton continued, citing one of their favourite movies to watch together.

"We should write them down." Ziva jumped up to grab the pad on the fridge and they compiled a list of five meaningful words from their memories that could be used to say 'I love you' in plain view of others - champagne, strawberries, ocean, M&amp;M's, and _Paycheck_.

Tony grinned when he read them over. "I can't wait for the opportunity to use one at work."

"Just do not make it sound special yakiri," she warned. "There are trained federal agents everywhere."

"And spies," he added.

She smirked. "Only one, and I am retired."

Tony locked his arms around her waist and pulled her down onto the couch. His mouth claimed hers, effectively silencing any other arguments she could put forth. One kiss led to two and then three and so many more they didn't bother to count. And for one of the first times since she returned to him passion so completely consumed them that they couldn't even make it to the bedroom before they had to sate that longing. Afterwards Tony thought there was hardly anything left on the list of desert scars that they hadn't both reclaimed and redeemed. What a sweet, sweet victory that was.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday January 26**

Jordan was working late to ignore the fact that his wife wasn't around, and Brent had all three kids for a dinner and homework party which left only Tony and Mark to commiserate about being shunned, since Adrian and Emma weren't home yet and Darien remained purposely single and unable to understand what they were missing. Tony turned his coffee cup in a circle. "Why do we have to be in separate locations for girl's night? What's wrong with just being on a different level of the house?"

Mark chuckled. "You do realize guys are typically expected to fear girl talk and avoid it at all costs?"

"Ah, but what the uninagurated fail to notice is that if you listen carefully to girl talk instead of running the other direction you can learn all sorts of valuable information."

"I believe attempting to use blackmail material on your wife or any of the others would have disastrous results my friend." Mark winced just thinking about it.

Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm not that dumb. I meant valuable information like something she really wants or things that are bothering her. Wives share stuff with girlfriends they don't always think to tell their husbands." More than once on a Sunday afternoon at the park or community center he'd overheard Ziva or the other women talking about liking something that became a good present idea he could use himself or pass onto the appropriate husband.

Mark tipped his mug towards Tony. "Smart thinking D."

"Thank you." Tony's smug grin lasted only moments before his gaze strayed outside and his brow furrowed. "Man, when did it start coming down so hard out there?"

Mark swivelled in his seat to survey the blanket of wet snow now covering their cars. "I don't like the look of that." He checked his watch. "We may need to crash girl's night after all. I think I'm gonna grab the kids from Brent and head back. Can you call Jordan and let him know it might be a good idea to come get Allie? He doesn't like her driving alone when it's bad out and if he's working on a speech he probably hasn't even noticed the weather."

"Good idea." Tony was already grabbing his jacket and keys. "I hope Zi doesn't mind too much. I can only see how bad it could get if the wind picks up."

The traffic was already slowing down as Tony drove and he impatiently tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. There was no way he wanted to be separated from his wife with a storm brewing. Half an hour past when he should've gotten there, he pulled into Mark's driveway and blew in the door, shaking clumps of white stuff off his jacket and out of his hair. Cassie heard the door and came upstairs to check. "Tony? Why are you back so soon?" She glanced behind him. "Where's Mark? Is something-"

Tony interrupted the worry he could see forming and shook his head. "It's coming down thick and heavy out there. Sorry Cass, we have to make it an early night."

She went to the window and saw the inches that had accumulated just in the last couple hours. "Oh my."

"Yeah. Mark went to get Alec and McKenna but traffic sucks right now so don't expect them back right away."

The rest of the ladies filed upstairs to see what was going on and Ziva crossed her arms, eyeing her husband suspiciously. "Spying on us DiNozzo?"

He rolled his eyes. "No. I've actually come to rescue you."

She snorted and glanced at her friends. "That is not necessary. They are quite harmless." Her gaze moved to his best friend's wife. "Except Cassie when she wants to know something."

They all giggled but Tony huffed. "Funny girl. I didn't mean from them." He swung his arm towards the door. "It's a freakin' blizzard out there."

At that announcement the women crowded around Cassie at the window. Tony joined them, his hand coming to rest at Ziva's waist. "I still think it is just an excuse," she murmured, though the snowfall was quite obvious.

He nuzzled her ear. "I'm good babe, but even I couldn't order that just to invade girl's night."

"Hmm," she answered, as if not quite believing him.

Remembering his message to pass on, Tony turned back to the group. "Allie, Jordan's on his way so hang tight for now. CJ, Brent would like to come but can't leave Ry and doesn't want to bring him out in this. I'm to tell you to drive safe and that there's emergency supplies in the trunk if you need them. And I suggest you stick to backstreets because the main drags are getting pretty congested."

Seeing that he was in a hurry to leave, Ziva got her coat. Cassie looked between them and the snow. "Are you sure you shouldn't just stay here? We've got lots of room."

The couple conferred silently and Tony shook his head. "Thanks Cass, but we need to get home for Meira."

She bit her lip, then gave him and Ziva both tight hugs. "Okay. Be safe. I'll be praying."

He tugged her braid. "Thanks sis."

They bid the rest farewell and bundled into the car, which Tony put in drive then hesitated before pulling out a map. "I should know alternate routes well enough after living here for a decade, but I want to be sure."

Ziva didn't dare make fun of a man consulting a map and waited patiently while he tried to figure out the best way home. Even with careful planning it still took them a good three hours to get there, by which time they were wishing they'd taken Cassie up on her offer. Between playing word games, short bursts of conference calls with the rest of the gang keeping them updated (Mark and the kids eventually made it back long past their bedtime, CJ's commute took a few times longer than usual but she did return safely to her husband and son, while Jordan was still fighting traffic and trying to get to his wife when Tony and Ziva got home), talking, thinking, and sometimes kissing, the time had passed at a decent pace, but they'd never before been so glad to walk through the front door.

Meira was quite glad to see them and Tony apologized for missing her walk but led her to the backyard instead to do her business. "We'll make up for it as soon as things clear up girl. Trust me, you don't even want to go around the block when it's like this out."

Ziva crouched down when they came back, the dog's paws carefully dried on an old towel kept for that purpose, and offered her pet a few small treats. She murmured in Meira's ear and Tony watched with a smirk on his face. "And you say I'm the pushover?"

She kissed Meira's head and wiped her mouth before catching his lips between hers. "Once in awhile I am allowed."

He folded her in an embrace, sighing into her hair. "I'm really glad we got home safe."

"Me too." She was worried about Jordan caught in all the crazy traffic - they'd heard reports on the radio that after hours upon hours of waiting in gridlocked lanes some people were actually abandoning their vehicles and walking away - but kept that to herself.

Tony tipped her chin up for a brief kiss. "You know what we should do?"

"Hmm?"

"Watch a movie." The clock read almost time to get ready for bed but if he had to guess he'd say they certainly weren't going anywhere tomorrow, not with how bad the roads had been on their travels, plus they needed to wind down a bit before sleeping.

Ziva nodded. "I like that idea. Is it my turn to pick or yours?"

He looked towards the shelves. "I'm voting for Hallmark but you can choose which one." A nice, slow paced, feel-good movie would be a pleasant way to end the night.

They were just getting to the happy ending of their film, cuddled together on the couch, when the power flickered and abruptly shut off, leaving them in absolute silence as everything shut down. Tony and Ziva sat motionless for several moments, then she sighed. "It must be bedtime."

Losing electricity in the middle of the worst winter storm of the season when their heat depended on the ability to work the thermostat was cause for concern, so he appreciated his wife's outlook. "Guess so." He stared blankly into the darkness out their front window not even broken by streetlights and tapped his fingers on his leg. "Any idea where we put the flashlights?" After the last power outage that so traumatized his then-fragile wife, several of them had been purchased and left in strategic places around their home.

Ziva leaned over and reached for the coffeetable, pulling open the shallow end drawer. Producing a mini light, she clicked it on and turned to him. "There is a magnetic one on the side of the fridge, one in the top drawer of my desk, one under the sinks in the bathroom, one on the bottom shelves in our bedside tables, and one in the pocket of the futon mattress in the spare room."

Tony chuckled. "There are times I'm thankful for your memory babe. I guess we better start with brushing our teeth and go from there."

Though routines had to be adjusted slightly due to the lack of light, they still managed to get changed and into bed with minimal fuss. After about five minutes of trying to get comfortable, Ziva slid out and went to grab an extra blanket from the closet, unable to shake the chill gradually descending on the house. An hour and a half later Tony's phone beeped, tugging him from a deep sleep, which he begrudged until he read the message. It was worth waking up his wife to tell her Jordan finally made it back to Mark and Cassie's and he and Allie were spending the night in their basement guestroom.

Sleepily Ziva smiled, patting his chest. "I can only imagine how relieved Allie was to have her husband back safely." She felt fortunate that Tony had made it to them initially without the hours of waiting her friend endured.

He pulled her close again. "Jordan has a car charger for his cell. They probably spent the whole time talking. But I'm glad he's not on the road anymore."

Tony didn't want to say anything, but he'd been on edge knowing Jordan was out there in the storm. He would've bet anything that Cassie and Mark, and probably the rest too, had been praying for his journey. Sometimes more than others he believed the exercise did make a difference. They drifted back off to sleep with the warmth of extra covers and shared body heat surrounding them, and their dog and her bunny sleeping on the floor. The situation wasn't ideal, but everyone they cared about was safe and sound and that alone was reason for a peaceful night's rest.

**NCIS**

**Thursday January 27**

The phone rang early the next morning but it took several bars of the James Bond theme song to draw Tony out of a too short slumber. They'd been in bed later than normal and he hadn't expected to be woken before Ziva left for her non-Ops day swim at the pool now that the weather wasn't so conducive to running. With a groan he rolled over and felt around on the bedside table for his phone. He jabbed the right button and held it to his ear, barely opening his eyes a crack. "H'lo?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Am I interrupting something DiNozzo?"

He dragged a hand down his face. "Other than sleep, no. I'm not usually doing anything else at 0530."

"Looked out the window recently?"

Tony squinted at their curtain covered bedroom window and sighed. "Not since last night."

"Roads are a mess. Got more than six inches overnight. Power's still out in half the city."

He cleared his throat. "Is that your way of telling me I have the day off? Because a simple, 'Don't bother coming in' would've sufficed."

"Stay home," Gibbs ordered, summing up the last minute.

"Did you call Ziva?" Tony yawned. "She could already be on her way." Although as she was currently cuddled up to his side and breathing relatively deeply that option was unlikely.

Gibbs barked a laugh. "I assume you can get off her couch and go tell her."

He frowned. "Why would I be on Ziva's couch?"

"Whenever there's a crisis I find you two together. Keep off the roads and no funny business just because no one's watching DiNozzo or there'll be a wake up call waiting for you tomorrow."

"Uh-huh," he answered non-committally. "Thanks for the head's up Boss. By-"

Before the word finished Gibbs had already hung up and Tony returned the phone to its resting spot. Ziva stirred, pressing even closer to him, and draped her arm over his waist. "I could be on my way to work?" she murmured.

He rubbed her pyjama clad arm. "Better safe than sorry. I can only volunteer to pass messages to you so often before something looks fishy."

"Gibbs already smells a fish if he thinks you are at my apartment." That is, the apartment she mentioned to the team when she 'moved' last January but never actually lived in.

"On the bright side, we have the day off," Tony commented, forgiving language errors so early.

"Good. Then we can sleep." She was on her way back into dreams as they spoke.

Tony had no arguments and shifted positions a bit, wrapping his arms fully around his wife. "Sleep tight babe," he whispered, grazing her temple with a kiss.

They took full advantage of the extra time and Ziva only woke again a few hours later because of the way he was holding her. She rubbed his arm gently back and forth, finally drawing him into a semi-coherent state. "I am fine Tony," she said quietly and he blinked, confused.

"Huh?"

She wove their fingers together. "You are holding me the way you do after a nightmare. But I am okay."

He chuckled and nuzzled her neck. "It's cold in here and you're soft and warm, that's all."

Ziva moved onto her back, skimming her fingers of her cheek. "Well, my husband has good taste in sleepwear."

Her lips were on his with no further delay and he was suddenly much more awake. When they parted he dug his fingers into her hair, nudging her nose with his and pretending he was going to kiss her but only teasing as she tried to catch his lips with hers again. "I don't suppose that excellent taste could extend to an observation about how your pyjamas might look on the floor?"

Now she was the one playing hard to get as she evaded his mouth and shrugged one shoulder. "I am not sure. Perhaps we should go swimming inst-" But the rest of her thought was lost when Tony captured her lips, kissing her deeply and passionately and leaving no room for refusal. "Alright," she managed when he released her briefly to work the buttons on her shirt and after that there was nothing but the two of them together making very good use of an unexpected morning off.

**NCIS**

**Friday January 28**

Feeling a little bit vacation-y after the luxurious, lazy free time they'd indulged in yesterday, Ziva brought her book from Tijon to work and tried to finish the final third while she slowly sipped a hot mug of soup for lunch. It wasn't until the last ten pages when she found a folded piece of paper she didn't remember tucking in there. All thoughts of the book were forgotten when she opened it up and saw the love letter her husband had written on the plane trip home while she slept. Leaning her chin on one hand, she read with a slight smile on her lips as Tony's handwriting recounted the highlights of their trip (pretty much every moment he spent with her), spoke of his hopes for their future honeymoon and how it would be different from this most recent holiday, and thanked her again for the way she loved him with such an open heart when she had every right to keep it hidden away and protected after the many hurts she'd suffered. He ended it with, _You will always be my greatest gift Zi. I love you. With all my heart, Tony._

Ziva read his offering twice, barely managing to keep the tears at bay. Then, since her husband hadn't yet returned from the lunch run with McGee, she took advantage of the time to pen him a letter in return thanking him for suggesting the vacation and for his thoughtfulness in all the activities so carefully selected and planned. She told him how wonderful those relaxing eight days had been and confessed that the highlight of the whole thing had been spending so much time with him free of the constraints of their work life. She matched him sentiment for sentiment, declaration of love for declaration of love, and added that she had never felt more cherished than when he thought of her first above all things, but explained that it was now her turn to reciprocate that kind of love. She signed off that she was looking forward to this new year and all the opportunities it gave her to treat him the way he deserved. Her signature read _Ziva DiNozzo_ underneath a heartfelt, _Ani ohevet otcha bechol libi _(I love you with all my heart).

She was just leaving it at the back of the current report he was working on when the elevator dinged and she dashed back to her seat. She appeared engrossed in the book as he and McGee returned with food orders but read the same paragraph five times before laying the book aside and heading back to the breakroom to wash out her mug. Sometimes she liked love letters to be completely unexpected and she didn't want to give anything away by the way she looked at him.

Maintaining her somewhat mysterious demeanor, Ziva left before him to go to Ops but cut it short as they had been kept at the office later than usual and was already in the shower when Tony returned from taking Meira on a long walk to make up for what she'd missed the past two days. From the bathroom came unfamiliar words sung in his wife's smooth alto and like a magnet they drew him in.

"Time is made from honey slow and sweet/only the fools know what it means/Temptation, temptation, temptation I can't resist-"

She hadn't even made it to the second verse when Tony slipped in behind her, intending to kiss her senseless and show her how crazy she could make him just by the sound of her voice, but he immediately yelped and jumped back out onto the bathmat. "Geez Zi, why's the water so hot?"

Ziva smiled coyly and tipped her head back under the spray, running her hands first down her hair, then her body, holding his complete attention. Before she could tease him any further, however, he shoved the temperature down some and pulled her flush against him, taking over her mouth for a deep kiss that stole all her clarity. She smirked when he released her, trailing her hands slowly down his biceps. "See something you like?"

He drew a shaky breath. "Oh yeah." His admission led to a little more making out until he finally bothered to release her and get clean. "I don't recognize that song."

"Oh." Ziva hesitated to elaborate but decided it was worth a reaction that could fall on either side of the good and evil line. "When I was undercover for Mossad in Morocco, you know, the video Abby sent you? I was a club singer. 'Temptation' was the song I used the night of the explosion." She did not at all like to remember that role, coming onto many men including Isaac as part of her cover. The whole thing made her sick because she should have only been doing that kind of performing for her own husband, but he had been nowhere near enough nor did he possess the power to save her from such an assignment.

Tony remained silent for a moment, chewing on his lip as he debated how he wanted to handle the memory. "Didn't get a very good look in the video, was kind of busy just being glad you were alive, but I take it they had you in some pretty smokin' outfits for that kind of gig."

Pleased that he was keeping it light, she smirked. "Oh yes. I believe you would have approved." Taking his hands she moved them to her back, tracing a line where the fabric had covered. When she ran his fingers right under the dimples above her behind, his eyes widened.

"Seriously?"

Ziva chuckled. "If we had flies in the shower, you would be catching them."

His eyes and mouth snapped closed and he got a kind of dreamy expression on his face. "Excuse me while I fantasize for a minute."

Throaty laughter reached his ears. "I will draw you a picture, later," she promised lowly, nipping at his jaw.

The fun they proceeded to have left little concentration for anything else, but in the weighted silence following their intimacy Ziva sang the French lyrics in barely more than a whisper with pauses inbetween as she slowly caught her breath. Tony savoured the sound of another language flowing off her tongue before his gentle kiss stole the words away. Mutual pleasure bred satisfaction and it was a content couple that crawled into bed still warm from the hot water and their previous activities.

Tony had expected them to fall right to sleep, but instead Ziva turned to face him and he could tell by her eyes she was about to share something significant. Waiting patiently for her to find the words, he twirled a damp curl around his finger, thankful again that she rarely ever bothered to straighten it. He loved the natural wave so much better. "I was looking for something in my journal yesterday and came across an entry for..." she paused, deciding what phrasing to use. "It was the second time we tried making love after the summer."

He couldn't help it, his mind was immediately drawn back in time to the night after a case involving his father wrapped up. Having spent nearly eight months at that point without having her, their initial tries were irrevocably etched in his memory. Embarrassed didn't begin to cover how he'd felt, finishing too soon after all their waiting. Mortified was more like it and the emotions surged back as she recalled the memory. Ziva read it all in a glance at his face and put her hand to his cheek. "I am not trying to remind you of anything that is not good."

Tony swallowed and nodded. "Okay."

"I wrote the next day that I felt ready then to give up on sex before we'd even gotten anywhere. I was so disappointed, not in you ahava but that our hopes didn't even compare to experiencing it again for real. But soon after that night was Paris and I am again so thankful that you were brave enough with me to keep trying to find a way past all of the desert issues I brought into our bed. I look back now and I am incredibly glad I didn't give up because Tony, look at what we would've missed." Ziva thought of the shower earlier, their vacation, and how many times on a regular basis they took each other to bed without even a second thought having to be spared on the things that once kept them apart. She offered him a faint smile. "We made it, but none of this success would've happened without your patience, persistence, and very undeserved commitment."

He dragged her close, cradling her against his body, one hand holding her head and the other cupping her waist. "Once we said 'I do' nothing we gave each other was undeserved commitment honey. And you worked just as hard as me, if not more, to get us to where we are today. Do you have any idea how much I love you?" She shook her head slowly because she always liked to hear it again and he rested their foreheads together. "So much babe, so, so much."

"And I you. Yakiri, ani ohevet otcha mikol halev." _I love you from the bottom of my heart_.

There was nothing more that could be said and a few gentle kisses later the couple cuddled into their typical spooning position. The last thing Ziva heard was what her husband whispered so quietly he probably thought she had already drifted off. "Thank you for not giving up." And she knew from that moment on she would always find him and everything about them worth fighting for, no matter what.

**NCIS**

**Sunday January 30**

It was their first family dinner of the new year and the only one she could remember to be held on a Sunday. Of course, there was special circumstances involved and they were all more than happy to suspend their regularly scheduled basketball game in favour of the meal so the newly returned world travelers could make it. CJ was the first to draw Emma into a gentle hug when they walked in while Cassie threw herself at Adrian, having missed him more than she expected over the last month. They switched places and then the whole group swarmed them with the kids at the forefront, everyone talking over each other and asking questions until Brent did his patented piercing whistle and they all fell silent.

He stuck his hands in his pockets, rolling his eyes. "You guys are worse than my students. How about one at a time? And maybe let them get past the door before you smother them to death."

Adrian grinned and pulled his friend into a bro hug. "Gosh, so bossy Coach. I don't know how the kids ever put up with you."

Mark was next and ran his eyes over both of them. "You look good Zip. I guess New Zealand weather agrees with you."

"It was the surfing," Emma shared, slipping her arm around her husband's waist.

"And my brother. And the kids," he continued. "Everything was great."

"I hope you don't decide to stay one of these days," Tony commented. He was getting very used to having his frat brothers around.

Adrian snorted. "Like you could get rid of me that easily Big D. I hope there's another trip coming sometime in the next few years, but we couldn't stay away from this place forever."

"Good to hear," Darien interjected, wrapping both Adrian and Emma in a hug. "So, are we gonna eat or what?"

At the mention of food Cassie ushered them all into the kitchen and let everyone figure out seating while she brought the food over. Adrian and Jordan immediately jumped in to help and soon they were all ready for Mark to say the blessing. There was a bit of commotion until all plates were filled and then the questions started, with Cassie's strict instructions that Adrian and Emma be allowed take at least two bites between each one so they didn't starve before the meal was over.

"When did you guys get back yesterday?" Jordan wanted to know.

"It was around nine by the time we went home." Adrian glanced at his wife. "We both slept for almost twelve hours straight and still made it to church this morning, not bad considering jetlag."

Cassie gave them the mother look. "Are you going to survive the evening?" They both looked a little weary.

Adrian grinned. "We'll just borrow some energy from the amigos. I'm sure you guys have lots to spare, right?"

"I hope you brought a lot of pictures back with you," Allie said.

Emma chuckled. "The question is not did he bring pictures back but-"

"How many?" Mark filled in. "Shoulda figured. What's the final count Zip?"

Adrian looked around and shrugged. "Oh...you know four thousand or so." Some mouths around the table fell open and he spread his hands in a gesture of innocence. "We were gone for a whole month! The number could be a lot higher."

Tony shook his head. "Were there any seconds you missed or did you get every single one?"

Ziva nudged him. "A month of seconds would be in the millions ahava, not the thousands."

He wrinkled his nose at her. "Trust you to know that. What about minutes?"

"Still too high."

"Hours?"

The others at the table were watching the exchange with no small amount of amusement. "Not enough." She thought about it for a moment. "I suppose you would have to break it down into ten minute or quarter hour segments to get close enough."

Allie leaned her chin on one hands. "Oh the things we learn at these get togethers."

Tony kissed Ziva's temple. "What can I say? My wife is brilliant." She muttered something in Hebrew at him and he cleared his throat. "So Flicka, what was the best part for you?"

They traded stories back and forth for the rest of the meal, as Adrian and Emma were keen to hear about their vacation as well, and after dishes were cleared and everyone had their hot drinks - apple cider this time instead of tea or coffee - Tony returned to the entrance and came back with a large gift bag. "While Zi and I were away we found this great little gift shop, attached to the perfume place she told you all about, and decided we needed to get souvenirs for everyone. We're doing it now because we had to wait for the slowpokes to get back." Adrian tossed a balled up napkin at his friend and they laughed. Tony glanced at his wife. "Honey, you want to do the honours?"

She nodded and lifted out the first item. "We will start with the youngest." McKenna was handed the cute purple unicorn they'd chosen for their niece. "Her name is Jonti. We hope you will be good friends."

Eyes wide, Ken accepted the toy and cradled it against her chest. "Oh Aunt Ziva, she's so soft!" She pressed her face into the animal's fur and looked up. "And she smells really good!"

"I would not be surprised if there is a perfume sachet of some kind inside." The next one was for Ryan. "I hope we made the right choice chamudi and that you are not too old for this."

Tony passed him the white baby sea lion named Jinto and Ryan grinned. "No, it's great. Thanks Uncle Tony! I'll put him with my panda."

"Alec, we didn't want to duplicate anything and you've never been one for stuffed animals so we got you a t-shirt." Tony shook it out to display the picture. "This way you can show your friends and tell them you got it from a really neat island."

Alec smiled and took the shirt, holding it up so his sister and cousin could get a better look. "Thanks Uncle Tony, Aunt Ziva. I'll wear it tomorrow." Then he stage whispered to his mom. "It's my favourite colour."

She rubbed his shoulder. "Nice to have people around who know you, huh?"

He nodded and the gift giving continued. "For Allie and Cassie we got similar presents. It is obvious by your friendship that you are closer than most sisters so we wanted you to have something alike." Allie got a scentable bracelet while Cassie received the matching necklace. They both sniffed at the jewellery delicately, pleased by the pleasant fragrance.

"If this is a sample of what they carry in that shop, we may have to take a group trip there someday," Cassie announced. The girls all grinned while the husbands began thinking about how that would work financially if their wives really wanted to do it. Then again, the benefits of taking them away to a tropical island paradise would probably be more than enough compensation for their efforts.

CJ and Emma were given different colours and shapes of scented candles and admired each other's scents, then it was Tony's turn to hand out the mens' gifts. Ziva frowned playfully at them. "It is not a joke when we say men are the hardest ones to buy for. Tony was in charge of yours."

He slung his arm around her waist. "With a lot of valuable input from you." She rolled her eyes and he held out a handful of small vials. "In the end we really couldn't decide. Even with as well as we know you, everyone's sense of smell is different. So we got sample sizes of the most popular colognes for all of you to test out. When you pick the one you like best we'll order full bottles of it. We didn't want to leave you out."

"Smart thinking man," Darien offered as the men gathered at one end of the table to try the colognes out.

When their wives started to rise from their seats Tony pointed at them. "Uh-uhn. Stay there. You got your presents already, it's their turn."

They all managed to look a little sheepish for making it appear that the guys needed their help choosing and waited impatiently while their husbands debated. In the end the men checked with their wives anyways about which they preferred and the women, thinking that Tony had a point, encouraged them to go with what they liked best. Ziva made a list of who wanted what and promised to put in the order the following week, hoping they wouldn't have to wait too long. The girls gathered around the sink once everyone's mugs were empty to start washing and drying while the guys took care of storing the table leaves and extra chairs. Some of them nudged their wives out of the way and took over dish duty, the rest just hung around close to their other halves and chatted amongst themselves.

Near the end Adrian piped up. "Em and I were thinking about it on the plane ride home, we got your email about the change of plans before we left, and realized that we somehow forgot our house is big enough to host group dinners, if you didn't always want us invading Cass."

Cassie seemed surprised. "We don't mind having you guys here, ever."

Mark put his arm around her shoulders. "But once in awhile it might be nice for you to let someone else do the work."

She nodded slowly, acquiescing to his previously expressed desire that she accept help from the gang instead of always doing everything. "Sure, sometime, if you want."

Tony and Ziva knew they couldn't have the whole gang over to their place due to lack of space, but they had been thinking about having individual couples over for dinner for awhile now. Brent and CJ exchanged glances, though they already knew the way the first floor in their house was designed didn't make for an easy gathering place like Mark and Cassie's open concept kitchen and livingroom did. Jordan and Allie resolved to keep the group dinners in mind when they started checking out houses, something they were saving for right now with all of Allie's income going towards the goal of owning one. And hopefully someday they'd be able to fill the extra rooms with their own kids. Darien's apartment was spacious but too far from the others to be a convenient gathering spot. He'd thought about downsizing when he retired and finding a place closer to the others, meaning he'd have to settle for supplying dessert rather than having them all to dinner.

Adrian grinned. "Cool. Sorry it took us six months to figure out though. That was one of the things I was thinking about during the original house tours."

Tony clapped him on the back. "We'll chalk it up to jetlag so as not to make you feel worse about old age and your failing memory."

"Look who's talking," Adrian shot back. "Coming from the man who's only got four months on me."

"What can I say? Some of us have it, some don't." Not only the comment but the tone with which it was delivered inspired a wrestling match and Cassie for once left Mark to sort them out while she began doling out dessert.

The ruckus didn't last long and some drifted towards the livingroom while others headed downstairs. They'd eventually get around to whatever movie the kids had chosen, for now it was just a good opportunity to hang out and catch up with each other. Ziva perched on the armchair Darien had claimed and he looked up in surprise. "Did I steal your spot?" She and Tony often appropriated that particular piece of furniture because it gave them an excuse to cuddle, having to share the space.

Ziva shook her head. "No, you are welcome to it."

She studied him for a moment and it made the big brown man a little uncomfortable. "Something I can help you with?"

Her eyes were quite serious when she spoke. "I understand by what I've gathered from the others that you are single by choice." He nodded, seeming a little wary. Ziva's brow furrowed. "And you are truly okay with state?" She bit her lip, knowing it was personal territory. "I just hate to think of you being alone when the rest of us are all happily married. I know what it is to be lonely Darien."

He put his hand over hers and smiled. "I've been the topic of conversation at girls' night again, huh?" Ziva's lips twitched but she did not reveal any secrets. "You're not the first one to try and stage an intervention, I've spent years evading Cassie and Allie's attempts to set me up."

"I am sure any woman would be lucky to end up with a caring, dependable man like you."

"Your compliment is noted and appreciated, but I really am content to stay single." Darien prepared to explain before she could ask. "My lifestyle is not conducive to a relationship Ziva. I'm training or playing every day of the week. I'm recognized sometimes whether I want to be or not. Football and the gang, that's my life. What free time I do have is spent here, with my second family. The family I was born into is large, loud, loving and scattered all over the Southern states. I fit there, I belong, and they know every embarrassing story since I was born. I don't see them often, but when I do I want to be able to focus on what matters to all of them without any other distractions." He leaned back and crossed his arms. "Beyond that, I'm content to be an apostle Paul sort of man - just God, the game, and the group I fell into."

Ziva could hear the truth in his words but it still made her a little sad to think of him missing out on the kind of intimacy she shared with Tony, when someone knew all the best and worst parts and loved you anyways. "Alright," she said quietly. "I'm sorry to have pried."

Darien chuckled. "It's how I know I'm loved. You girls show it when you meddle."

Just then the kids ran over and Ziva jumped out of the way to avoid being tackled. "Uncle Red, you promised," McKenna reminded him.

He raised an eyebrow. "You ask your mom?"

"She did," Alec confirmed. "Mom said yes."

Darien nodded. "Okay then, if she's alright having her livingroom torn apart we're going to build the best blanket fort ever!"

"Yay!" all three cheered.

Adrian wandered over, feeling like he was missing out, and Darien stared at him. "This is a task only for the fun uncles, you up for it?"

He grinned. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

While the five of them got busy gathering supplies, Ziva drifted back to those still lounging around the kitchen and lingering over dessert. Tony handed her a cup of tea and looped his arm around her waist as they watched the project begin to unfold. She thought later that Darien was right and he wasn't missing out after all. He had the kind of family others could only dream about and they loved him enough to make up for anything else.

_Replies:_

_Guest - Thanks! I have chosen not to watch the show since 11x02 but I've heard enough to know that the way they handled her absence doesn't fit with any of the character personalities they spent a decade creating. Anyhow, that's the perk of fanfiction, we can make things as it should be. In RofS and MIT and most other of my stories Gibbs is a good dad. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - Adrian said what I'm hoping for someday. I think that'll be one of the best parts of being married. I think the people that have already found that should be very grateful for the gift :) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_


	37. 8x15 Defiance 1

_A/N: So I guess I owe you guys a bit of an explanation regarding my absence. The first week just kind of got busy and I didn't have the chunks of free time I'm used to for writing. Then some family stuff came up. The second week I got extremely sidetracked reading and reviewing an awesome FF called __**A Different Love Story**__ by starvingstudent on the NCIS LA side. She's doing a secretly married thing with Kensi and Deeks like I'm doing with Tony and Ziva and she's built an incredible story out of it. If any of you are Densi fans you should check it out, I guarantee you'll love it. I also got sidetracked trying to organize some scenes and doing edits for upcoming chapters. Then more family stuff. And last week was a lot of being busy, more family stuff, and trying to get the edits finished. But now we're finally here and I apologize for the delay. I hope I'll be able to post Ch 38 on time but these days I never know what will happen so I can't make any promises. Thanks for sticking around anyways and sorry for the long winded A/N! ~ love, Aliyah :)_

**Tuesday February 1**

Her breathing changed, that was the first thing he noticed, and it brought his eyes up from a report. In the split second he had to register the difference, Tony became aware of how much he counted on the steady sound of her breath - when they were laying in bed, their chests rising and falling to the same rhythm; cuddling on the couch; sitting side by side in the car on a stakeout. For the second time in recent weeks he was reminded of the marathon sleep she took following her return from Somalia and his increasing need to check and see if she was still breathing as too many hours slipped past and how much he cherished every breath because it meant she was alive and with him and no part of getting her back had been a dream.

Ziva's fingers gripped the edge of the desk but her careful mask revealed nothing. Though very likely aware of his gaze, she chose not to meet it and he could tell just by the stiffness of her posture that something was wrong. Based on experience he had a pretty good idea what. At the first opportunity, meaning when Gibbs left for reasons unknown, Tony made Ziva tea and ran a hand down her back while McGee wasn't looking. She wished for the freedom to lean into his touch and let the comfort of his presence distract her from current circumstances, but they were at work and there were too many eyes watching to allow them to slip now.

At lunch he rushed home for the heavy duty painkillers he'd earlier kicked himself for not keeping on hand and grabbed Ziva's extra zippered pouch of feminine supplies from one of the bathroom drawers, just in case. Relief flooded her features when he handed over the drugs and Ziva swallowed three dry with a sip of tea to wash them down. He cringed, never comfortable with the amount it took to keep her functional, and slipped the pouch in her purse as soon as McGee went to see Abby. For a blissful quarter hour they were alone in the squadroom and Tony indulged his wife by gently rubbing her shoulders and back until the elevator's tell-tale ding signaled Gibbs' return. Twenty minutes after taking the pills her muscles were beginning to loosen up with the easing of the cramps and she was able to smile for discovering a milk chocolate Lindt bar in her top drawer when she returned from the ladies room.

Tony monitored her closely for the rest of the day, observing her attempt at OD'ing when she took the next dose an hour before recommended and repeated the process three hours later. She headed for the washroom at that point too, as her first day was always heavier than the rest, and Tony caught her in the hall. He'd seen her tuck the tablets in a pocket and concern furrowed his brow. "Hey, you're kinda early for more."

Ziva glanced both ways, keeping her own voice lowered to match his tone. "If I do not then I will not be able to work." Already fresh cramps threatened and the thought of facing them full blown without painkillers had her mentally curling up in a corner to cry.

His knuckles brushed down her cheek. "I'm worried honey."

She placed her hand at his waist. "Trust me Tony." Then she disappeared into a place he couldn't follow without causing questions and he leaned back against the wall with a sigh. If this was all she ever carried from the desert, along with the scars, they had very likely lucked out. But how he wished she didn't continue to suffer for something that wasn't her fault.

They got out at seven, relatively decent all things considered, and he waited for her at the elevator, trying not to look too conspicuous. Tony carefully pulled Ziva's hair free when she put on her coat and they linked fingers after the doors closed. He glanced sideways at her. "Doing okay?"

Ziva nodded. "Fine for now."

She was still relatively comfortable by the time they made it home an hour after dosing herself again, enough that she joined he and Meira for a walk. After that he was determined to spoil her for awhile, joining her on the couch with a heating pad for her front and another mug of tea. Then he sat behind her to be both support and body pillow while they relaxed through a Harlequin romance movie and even enjoyed playing the kissing game with the characters.

"What's next?" he asked as the end scene faded out to credits. But Ziva didn't answer, her pinched expression and rigid muscles telling him the drugs had worn off. With a sigh he slid one of her Mary Higgins Clark mysteries into the DVD players and went for the pill bottle, reluctantly setting three tablets in her palm and providing a glass of water. He met her brief smile with a kiss and a whisper, "I'll be right back." In the kitchen he set the oven to preheat and dug a package of frozen baguettes out of the freezer. He'd learned simply from watching that she craved carbs both in the days preceding and the week for which her cycle lasted. When it beeped he slid the pan in and ten minutes later slices of hot buttered bread rounds were delivered to the couch.

Ziva took one off the plate and chewed it slowly. "Thank you for knowing me," she said quietly, burrowing close to his side and pulling up the blanket he'd tucked around her earlier.

Tony kissed the side of her head. "That's a very important part of my job." Her nose scrunched because she did not want to simply be a duty for him, but he brought their lips together, erasing the notion before it could take root. Though she knew he didn't mean it like that anyways, he had no problems reassuring her just in case.

Her smile told the rest of the story and she sat back, content. "I know."

He called it a night when the movie finished and they went about their bedtime routine. At the door to their room Ziva hesitated, her eyes flickering towards the spare room, wondering if it would be better to sleep on the futon and spare him her restlessness. But Tony shook his head, curling his fingers around hers. "Please sleep in our bed honey. I want you close even if you feel crummy. But I promise to keep my hands to myself."

She kissed his cheek. "Actually, I am okay right now. I would very much like to fall asleep in your arms before it gets worse."

He grinned. "You don't have to tell me twice."

They changed the sheets together, from creamy Israeli cotton to the dark ones purchased specifically for this time of the month, and Ziva added one of the old brown towels to her side as well before choosing pyjama bottoms that wouldn't show the stain as much as what she normally wore. He lay down just how she wanted in bed and Tony was glad the night hadn't begun like many of the others when she was on her period, where touching was out of the question the first day because everything hurt. He closed his eyes and tried to settle, knowing that whatever their evening looked like they'd both need their rest.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday February 2**

A couple hours later, however, everything changed beginning when she moved out of his embrace as her rest became more fitful, trying in vain to find a position that brought relief. He was the one who caved, retrieving the painkillers from where they'd been left on the kitchen counter and offered her a normal dose instead of the extra she'd been taking. Ziva wasn't coherent enough to register the difference but when the pills still hadn't had the desired effect sometime later, Tony wished he'd given her the extra tablet. He got another chance when the clock turned to four am and was annoyed that he didn't catch the alarm before it roused her from a peaceful snatch of sleep at six.

Leaning over, he dropped a quick kiss on her cheek. "Sorry babe."

Ziva blinked groggily and groaned at the glowing numbers. She lay still for several moments, then gave up with a huff, flopping her arms on the bed. "I cannot go in today. Four hours is not enough to fit me for duty."

Tony rubbed his face. "Is that all you got?"

She shrugged. "It is difficult to say for sure."

He brushed her hair back. "I wish I could make that call for you Zi. Days like that I would love to just walk into work and explain your absence with a simple, 'My wife isn't feeling well', instead of pretending I don't know why my partner's not there."

Not at all in the mood to tackle their secret right now, Ziva ignored the comment and reluctantly reached for her phone, nudging her husband out of bed. "Go shower."

Tony got up but opted for taking Meira out first and showering second. He knew Ziva wouldn't be up to walking their dog for at least a couple days.

Heaving a sigh, she pressed Gibbs' speed dial number and waited for it to connect. He answered without preliminaries. "Calling to request a day off?"

Ziva frowned. "How did you know?"

She could almost feel the look he was giving her. "When else do you call me before coming in?"

"I hate this," she confessed.

"I know kid. Not something you can help though."

"That makes it worse." Ziva scrolled through the rest of what she wanted to say and edited it slightly. "I really wanted to be done with feeling weak by now Abba. I have worked so hard to reclaim my life over the last year and a half, but this is one thing I cannot control."

In that moment Gibbs seriously considered skipping a morning at the office to go spend time cheering up his daughter, but he had a feeling she wouldn't allow the concession. "No one sees you as weak Ziver. The past sixteen months have proven just how strong you are."

He thought he heard a sniffle and then she barely whispered. "Thank you."

"Get some sleep and don't come in until you feel better. I don't care if it's the rest of the week. We've got you covered."

While she appreciated his understanding, she had no intention of giving in for so long. "Bye."

He hung up without another word as per usual and ten minutes later her husband came in carrying a mug of tea and box of crackers. "In case you get hungry but aren't ready to get up yet."

Ziva already regretted her earlier attitude and tugged on his shirt, bringing his mouth down to hers. Tony grinned. "Keep thanking me like that and I'll do anything."

She released him slowly. "You already do everything ahava, thank you."

"Anything for my ninja." He sank down beside her. "You know the last thing I want to do when you're feeling miserable is leave, right?"

Ziva smoothed a hand down his chest. "But playing hooky is out of the question, yes?"

Tony cupped her cheek. "Unfortunately, yeah." He bent over and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Take it easy today, okay?"

Her nose wrinkled. "Not that I have a choice, but yes, I will."

It was written all over his face that he didn't want to go but neither of them were being afforded much say in the matter. His mouth covered hers again briefly. "I love you." Tony tore himself away and Ziva fell asleep to the sound of the shower. He made sure water and drugs were within reach for when she woke and made himself get in the car and drive to work without her. He entered cracking a joke and another McName and in short order had a folder open in front of him, but his concentration was clearly elsewhere.

By 0800 Tony finally broke the silence. "Ziva's late."

McGee looked up. "Huh. Maybe she got here early for shooting practice or tea with Ducky." Both were activities she regularly engaged in.

"Nah," he shook his head. "Her car wasn't in the parking lot."

"There's no way she slept in," McGee reasoned while Tony stared at their teammate's desk. "She's been late because of a run before."

Tony forced a chuckle. "While I don't doubt her ability to get lost in a workout, she doesn't like being cold. And if she was running indoors she wouldn't lose track of time."

Tim's eyebrows rose with interest. "You seem to know a lot about her routine Tony."

He was not falling for that one and snorted derisively. "You have any idea how many topics of conversation we go through on a stakeout? Trust me, it's all come up at one time or another."

Finding little to work with in the senior field agent's answer, McGee went back to his computer. Two minutes later Gibbs and his ever present cup of coffee strode in along with the familiar new case call of, "Grab your gear."

Tony did so automatically, frowning. "Should we text Ziva to meet us there?" After all, if he wasn't married to her his naturally curious nature certainly would be wondering about her absence.

Gibbs didn't slow down as he led the way to the elevator. "Ziva's off today."

"Oh." Tony and McGee both sounded surprised, though only the probie's was genuine. "Shotgun!" Tony called immediately, in case they were traveling in the same vehicle. Ziva usually claimed the seat beside Gibbs when the four of them rode together.

Gibbs rolled his eyes, holding back the urge to headslap the man. No more was said and Tony continued his silent countdown - _one hour down, nine to go._

**NCIS**

Ziva had moved to the couch by the time Tony got home later than anticipated at seven-thirty, a full twelve and a half hours since leaving. He managed to come in quietly, but she heard the door twenty minutes later when he and Meira returned from a walk. She tried to offer help making a meal but he waved her off, finding something to reheat and sitting on the couch rubbing her feet during the last half hour of a chickflick. Ziva was tired of sleeping, so while the painkillers were working at their peak the couple played Scrabble and Dominos and Go Fish. When the discomfort returned Tony suggested a hot bath and brought his wife some bedtime tea hoping to aid in rest, though the little white pills would be more effective than anything else they could try.

**NCIS**

**Thursday February 3**

She didn't want to keep him up like she did last night, so once he was deeply asleep Ziva moved very carefully and quietly to the futon, suffering through a fitful sleep alone, though at some point Meira joined her and stayed close - a gesture her mistress appreciated. Tony, tired from the previous night, slept straight through and never had to notice that his girls abandoned him because by the time morning came and the alarm roused him his wife was already in the shower. That was quite unexpected so he went to check on her and received a weary, "Be out in a minute."

Tony's patience didn't extend to waiting a whole minute, so he boiled tea water and started coffee, opting just to let Meira out to do her business in the yard for now and make it up to her with a walk later. Ziva was exiting the bathroom when he came out of the office and she moved past him. "Your turn."

Her voice was soft and heavy and he grabbed her arm before she got too far. "Hey, what's this?"

She frowned in his direction without actually making eye contact. "I am getting ready for work."

Tony sighed. "I can tell just by looking that's not a good idea Ziva. Can't you wait until tomorrow?"

Ziva pulled away, though without the force he knew she was capable of. "I can make my own decisions, thank you."

His eyebrows rose. "There's no call to get snarky, I'm just trying to help. I've seen what this kind of cycle looks like for you."

"I am done needing help!" she insisted, continuing to their room to dress.

Deciding it best not to argue with her for now, Tony took his turn in the shower. Her body would inform her of limitations soon enough using a more convincing argument than he could offer right now. His departure from the bathroom coincided with Ziva's next round of pill taking and he eyed the bottle warily, knowing that if she kept it up there wouldn't be enough left for another of her bad months. There was no way any doctor would prescribe her the heavy duty drugs for cramps but maybe Ducky could help them out...except Ziva would kill him for discussing that subject with the medical examiner, plus it would be giving an awful lot away and there was no way she'd go on her own. They would definitely be up a creek when the bottle was finally empty.

Glad to see she'd made tea for herself, Tony got into clothes quickly and returned to the kitchen, dropping a kiss on his wife's cheek on the way by. "I kinda feel like omelettes this morning, what about you?"

Ziva, leaning back against the counter, staring down into her tea. "I don't suppose I can still blame hormones for being rude?"

He went back to her side, rubbing her shoulders gently. "Sure you can. I try not to take it personal when you're hurting."

She heaved a sigh. "PMS is supposed to happen before my period, not during."

Tony stood in front of her. "I get that you're done needing help honey, trust me." He wanted to add more but she was not currently interested in his opinion.

"I could've been nicer about it," she muttered.

Joining their lips briefly, he went back to breakfast preparations. Ziva's omelette was purposely made smaller but Tony wasn't surprised when she didn't even finish a lesser portion. She dragged into work without him, irritated at the concession of taking the elevator, and he said nothing beyond, "Morning," upon arriving at his desk five minutes later.

Gibbs, however, stared at her expression and body language, noting dark circles and tired eyes, and stood to voice his opinion. "What did I tell you-"

She held up one hand. "I am fine Gibbs." His disapproving glare had no effect and she settled down to work, ignoring the heavy gazes of all three men directed at her. Tony silently grumbled, 'Not fine,' while their boss inwardly cursed her stubbornness and pride and McGee, not knowing the reason for her appearance, hoped it wasn't nightmares from Somalia bothering her again.

They caught a case mid-morning and before she could even reach for her gun Gibbs dropped a sticky note on her desk, effectively putting the probationary agent on research detail. When they finished processing the crime scene a couple hours later and stopped for lunch on the way back, Gibbs saw how Ziva picked at her food rather than eating and sat on the edge of her desk. McGee was down delivering gumbo to Abby and Tony, biting his tongue to keep from saying anything, excused himself to the breakroom for a soda to go with his meal.

Gibbs quickly found that waiting her out didn't work and touched her shoulder. "You shouldn't be here Ziva."

She shrugged him off. "I'm fi-"

"Save it. You put on a good show, but I'm done watching you struggle." Ziva tried to protest but he spoke over her objections. "Get out of here. Go home and rest. If-" She again tried to say something so his finger landed on her lips. "If you feel up to it tomorrow, come in. But I'm not putting you out in the field until you can handle a day without drugs."

Ziva's nose wrinkled and she sat back. "Am I allowed to talk now?" He nodded and she rubbed her hands over her legs. "Very well. It seems I do not have much of a choice."

"Nope."

She gathered her things, glancing fleetingly at Tony's desk before choosing to text him from a cab. As they'd come in the same car, she'd leave that for him. Tony beat her to the text, which she received shortly after giving the driver their address. _I know you're not fine Zi._

_According to the rules, you are not supposed to know._

_Then you're lucky I didn't say what I was thinking out loud._

Choosing to slightly change the subject, Ziva passed on her own message. _I took a cab so you could have the car._

Perhaps sensing she was done with the subject of how she was feeling, Tony played along. _Can I bring anything home for you tonight?_

She bit her lip. _Could I talk you into making me hot chocolate from scratch?_ It was an indulgence she favoured, especially this time of the month.

Her husband's chuckle could almost be heard._ You won't have to twist my arm much for that, I'd be glad to. I may demand payment in the form of kisses though, to be paid out whenever I want._

Ziva hid a smirk. _I suppose I can handle that._ Because kissing her husband was such a hardship for her.

_Anything else?_

She stared out the window for awhile, phone held loosely in one hand, before answering. _Are you getting the look from Gibbs yet?_

_I hope not considering I'm hiding in a stall in the men's room. That would be a little awkward._

_You don't say_, she responded dryly.

_Think you can handle rice krispie squares? I'd be happy to add them to the hot chocolate._

_I will see how I manage soup, then we will talk about dessert. Thank you_, she added a moment later.

_I love you._

Ziva sighed. He truly was adorable. _I love you too._

Rather than continuing on about how much he'd miss her and encouraging her to take care of herself, Tony left it at that and made himself go back to work. At least the day was already half-done because now, as always, there was only one place he wanted to be and that was wherever his wife was. Time at the office today held no appeal.

**NCIS**

Mark toyed with Cassie's hair while she lay along the couch, head resting in his lap as they watched a movie on TV. It was such a pleasant position and comfortable moment, their children long in bed so husband and wife could enjoy their cherished evenings together. He hated even to break the silence between them but something had been on his mind for awhile and now was the time to share. He muted the TV when it went to commercial and Cassie turned her attention to him, sensing a conversation coming.

"I was wondering if you'd be willing to give me up a couple nights a week for the next eight weeks."

She sat halfway up. "That's two months. Why?"

The explanation came with a catch - he could only tell her part of it, but he had to not look as if he was holding the rest back. Mark scraped his fingers through his hair. "Someone approached me today after work about doing in home personal training twice a week for a couple months. It's a New Year's Resolution goal so I'll know by the end if he's committed or giving up, since results should be noticeable by then, and hopefully I can transition him to the gym once he's more confident."

Her brow furrowed. "He couldn't pick a time during the day?"

"No. He works a day shift. Even the last appointment around dinner isn't late enough." He kissed her fingers. "Besides, if I do it in home then I don't have to share a percentage with the club. That's a lot of money Cass."

She blinked seriously. "Do we need it? Is the extra money worth losing time with our family?"

"You know the finances just as well as I do," he chided gently. "So no, we don't need it, we're doing fine like we have been for years. But there's a little more to the story."

Cassie's fingers trailed down his shirt, the movie completely forgotten and ignored. "I wondered, since this came up out of the blue."

Mark chewed on the inside of his lip. "I've been thinking about going to visit Kevin."

She understood a lot out of such a simple sentence and even just hearing her brother in law's name brought a while lot to her mind and heart. Mark grew up in a military family, uprooted more times than he cared to count as they followed his dad's job around the country. His name, chosen by his dad, meant war-like, foreshadowing the life he envisioned for his son. Mark's mom had different dreams for her firstborn and insisted on the Hebrew name Adiv as his second one. Its meaning was gentle, so his full name became 'gentle warrior' and spoke of a much different path for his life.

His father made no attempt to conceal his disapproval and disappointment when, at eighteen, Mark shunned the miliary lineage he came from and entered school with the goal of a profession in which he could help people and have a positive impact on their lives. While he didn't fault his sisters for keeping with what was familiar and taking husbands in military careers, there was something very deep inside of him that just wanted to be different. He'd carried the weight of that disappointment for many years and even though his father was now pleased to be a grandpa, he never could accept the decisions Mark had made in his life that were so far from what was expected. That in itself was one reason he and Cassie continued living close to her father but only saw his parents once or twice a year, if they were lucky.

In his family he also had three younger sisters: Trish (meaning well-born), only a year below him. As the two oldest they ended up taking care of the others when their parents were too busy. As far as siblings went they got along decently but were never super close. Trish married an Air Force guy when she was twenty-one and moved to England. She and Mark rarely saw each other but still sent cards occasionally and made sure to talk about once a year to get caught up on things in their lives.

His middle sister, two years younger than Trish, was Eppie (my delight is she), named after a strong, brave woman in a Scottish ballad his mother liked. At the beginning of high school Eppie discovered her name was also a nickname associated with Esther, and she began calling herself that when kids teased her about her unusual given name. Following in her older sister's footsteps Eppie married a man in the Navy the year she turned twenty-three and lived in Pensacola, Florida where her husband was currently stationed.

Last came Adelaide (nobility), almost a full decade his junior, though she was always Addy to him. Despite the age gap she and Mark had been incredibly tight growing up, until he left for college. Then they wrote and called and kept in touch as much as they could. At twenty-eight she hadn't gotten married yet and wasn't even sure she'd go that route at all. After bouncing around from place to place, much like their childhood, she'd finally settled down as a teacher at a private Christian academy in Colorado Springs, one of the places she loved the most from the many cities she grew up in.

But it was Kevin (handsome), five years younger than Mark and between Eppie and Addy in the birth order, who'd really had the most challenges. All the moving around got to him, losing friends and having to be the new kid over and over. He was only four the second time they moved after he was born, not even in school yet. But the next posting lasted longer than most and being torn out of school and friendships and something comfortable and home really messed with the then nine year old. Kevin started getting into trouble in their next town and school, and even with their father's strict discipline and Mom's loving rules nothing ever got better for long.

Mark did his best to help his younger brother, but he left for school when Kevin was thirteen and that caused even more turmoil for the troubled new teen. Three moves later at fifteen things went from bad to worse, with Kevin not just getting in fights at school and receiving failing grades, but also falling in with the wrong crowd which led to some serious issues with drug and alcohol abuse. Thankfully Kevin eventually got some help, a mentor who came into his life at seventeen and got him into rehab, keeping tabs on him even with moves. The man was a solid role model and support system, something the young man desperately needed in the midst of so much turmoil. Now, over a decade and a half later, Kevin worked with troubled kids living on military bases because he understood that life and what it could be like. Mark was very proud of what his brother had accomplished and they stayed in contact quite regularly, but phone calls and Skype just weren't the same as spending time together face to face.

Cassie nodded slowly, having had time to see where he was coming from with the request. "You should go."

He eyed her a little warily because of the sudden shift in attitude. "Oh?"

"You haven't seen your brother in years. It'll be good for the two of you to have some quality bonding time."

"So that resistence two minutes ago was just a front?" Mark asked, unaware of where her thoughts had been before she changed her mind.

"No," she admitted. "I still don't like the thought of you being away from us so much extra than usual, and I'll miss you like crazy while you're away. But I was remembering what Kevin, and you, have been through and I think it would be a great surprise for him to see his big brother. The visit will mean a lot to him."

Mark pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Thanks Cass," he breathed. "I've just been feeling lately like it's something I should do."

"Sounds like God," she murmured, running her hands up his arms. "I try pretty hard not to argue with Him. He always wins," she whispered in her husband's ear.

He chuckled and pulled her even closer. "You'll miss me, huh? Won't take advantage of all the space to spread out over the whole bed? Or read until one o'clock in the morning on Saturday night? Or spread your projects over every free space in the house when I'm not around to bug you about it?"

Cassie cupped his face, bringing his mouth to hers for a long kiss. "I may do all of those things silly man, but that doesn't mean I'll still spend every other minute wishing you were here to bug me about it."

"I love you," Mark said quietly, then changed the subject slightly. "So what's our plan for date night this week?" Instead of taking turns while things were kind of up in the air about how to keep the tradition going now that Cassie's dad was out as an option for the time being, they were tackling it as a team, week by week.

"I don't know about you, but I'm definitely ready for the kids to have a sleepover so we get the house to ourselves." They were quite used to the luxury of one night a week when they didn't have to be the cautious parents making sure things didn't get too out of hand while their kids were around, but could instead just be the carefree, adventurous lovers who only had themselves to think about.

He chuckled into her neck. "I like the sound of that. Who's next on our babysitting list?"

Cassie, struggling to think when his lips were drifting all over her skin, managed to get out the two possibilities. "I was thinking Brent and CJ might be able to take them, or they could go to Wes and Breanna's. Faith said they're always welcome." Seeing as their children had gotten so close, Cassie and Faith, Wes and Breanna's mom, had taken to getting coffee together every so often and had struck up a comfortable friendship.

"Works for me." He claimed her mouth in an almost searing kiss that literally stole her breath away. "Now are we done talking?"

She laughed softly, suddenly aware that he was already sliding his hands into her clothing as if the answer was a foregone conclusion. "There's a spare room downstairs," Cassie offered, surprising her husband, "and the basement soundproofing works quite well."

Mark's eyebrows jumped up. "Feeling bold tonight Mrs. Reece?"

She matched his passion with her own as kisses and caresses grew more heated. "Only with you." She closed her eyes as he lifted her up, clear desire and intention in his gaze while he made his way towards the basement stairs. "Your love gives me the confidence to be bold."

Her 'thank you' was swallowed along with any other coherent thought she might've had and Cassie was reminded again to be so thankful for the wonderful man God had given to be her husband.

**NCIS**

**Sunday February 6**

Friday Ziva again insisted on going into work and made it through the whole day. Tony's biggest relief was that she was finally taking a normal dose of the pills at the recommended time and often with even more than four hours between. She didn't need the painkillers on Saturday at all and even felt good enough to want to go riding that afternoon. Glad the worst was over, Sunday found him up early and very anxious to get his hands and lips on his wife. Even after four and a half years of marriage he never got used to being deprived of her during her cycle.

Thankfully Ziva was in a reciprocating mood even though he woke her up too early for a weekend by placing a line of kisses down her neck and slowly working his hand under her pyjama shirt. She arched against him before even opening her eyes, her head falling back to give him better access. "Am I playing Sleeping Beauty this morning?"

"Works for me," he mumbled into her skin. He took a quick break from his current ministrations to capture her lips. "Good morning, by the way."

She held his face, keeping his mouth on hers. "I thought that was my line."

Tony shrugged and began coaxing clothing off his wife. It wasn't long before they were involved in something much more fun than talking. The couple enjoyed themselves so much that the intimacy continued in a hot bath - exchanging duties of gently washing each other's bodies and hair - and lasted through breakfast eaten in only bathrobes - occasional bites fed to one another during the meal - truly lovesick expression on their faces that no one was around to mock them for; and even covered Tony's careful practice in French braiding her hair, which Ziva deemed neat enough to be worn to practice.

Shortly after hello hugs had been shared at the gym, Allie walked around behind her. "I just love your hair Ziva. You're so lucky to have hair that looks great no matter what the style."

Ziva smiled rather proudly, eyes fixed on Tony. "Thank you. My husband did it."

Cassie lifted an eyebrow. "Not only have you taught the man to cook, but he braids too?"

"Hey!" Mark called from a couple feet away. "I can braid hair too y'know. Tony's not the only one with skills."

That lead to a round of teasing from the rest of the guys about Mark and Tony's hairdressing talents, but it was worth it for Tony to see his wife's expression when she told them. He liked that she was proud to show off his accomplishments. Then Adrian sidled up to Ziva. "Hey, I don't want to be a pain or anything, but did you happen to get the order placed for our colognes yet?" He leaned close and whispered, "I really want to see what Emma thinks of the one I picked."

Ziva chuckled and patted his chest. "I am sure she will love it on you even more than in the bottle." Then her face shadowed. "But...I am sorry Adrian, I have not been feeling well this week, so I didn't get that done." Truth be told, she'd forgotten all about it until he said something. "I promise I will do it as soon as I have a free moment."

Though she was expecting his disappointment, the concern in his eyes caught her off guard. "Are you okay?" Her brow furrowed and he debated on how to elaborate without bringing up bad memories. "It's not...something from that summer, is it?"

She squeezed his hand. "You are so sweet to worry Adrian. No, it's not. Nothing directly anyways. I had to take a couple sick days this week, but Tony watched me very closely and took good care of me. I am feeling much better now."

He chewed on his lip. "Okay, I'm glad to hear that. But if you need anything, you ask."

Ziva smiled. "I will."

"Yo, Zip!" Tony yelled. "Come on, you're holding up the game."

Adrian grinned. "You're just jealous because I'm hanging out with your wife."

"Enough," Mark said loudly, knowing Adrian and Tony would just keep egging each other on until one of them either started a playful fight or got in trouble with one of their wives. "Let's play ball."

Ziva joined the rest of the wives on the bleachers and soon had her attention split between hearing about McKenna's week at school and watching the rather intensely competitive basketball game the guys were putting on. Whether it was some of them needing more stress relief than usual or just the fact that they were tired of being indoors and needed to get rid of excess energy it was hard to tell, but the game was played fast and hard and more seriously than usual. All of them were banned from giving out hugs and kisses afterwards until they got changed, as evidence of their exertion was very prominent this time, but once they were all gathered back together Ziva got their attention.

"I know it is very out of the ordinary for a nickname within the group to be changed, with the exception of marriage." At this she smiled towards Cassie. "But this is a new year and I have been making some changes and I think I would like to be known differently now." Tony was staring at her, she hadn't planned to bring it up until someone actually called her 'ninja' so they hadn't discussed it yet, but the timing just felt right.

Mark looked between the two of them and nodded. "What did you have in mind?"

She sighed. "Well, I am not certain I have gotten that far-"

Before she even finished Tony blurted out, "Pocahontas." All eyes turned to him and he shrugged self-consciously. "Just...you know, she was beautiful and had some pretty useful skills, but she was also gentle and not known-"

Ziva picked it up from there, letting out a breath in relief. "Not known for acts of violence. Yes, that is exactly what I want. To be known for something peaceful rather than dangerous." Which made Tony wonder if he'd be banned from using the nickname as well, but something about her expression said he'd still be able to call her that in private, just between them. It was part of their history and that was not the part she was trying to lose.

Mark glanced quickly around the group and saw the others nodding in agreement. They could understand the reasons behind Ziva's request, given the healing they'd all spent the last year and a half watching. She'd more than earned the change. "All in favour of re-naming Ziva 'Pocahontas' instead of 'ninja', raise your hand."

The vote, of course, was unanimous and McKenna scooted closer. "You have pretty hair just like Pocahontas Aunt Ziva."

Ziva smiled and touched the tip of her niece's nose. "Toda motek. I can also climb trees very well, though I have yet to find one that talks back."

McKenna giggled and Mark cleared his throat, eyeing Tony's hands pointedly. "I didn't want to bring this up earlier but did you, uh...lose a bet or something?"

Tony glared at the bright pink nail polish adorning all ten fingernails, then turned the same expression on his wife. "Let's just say you should never play Truth or Dare with a certain Israeli-American unless you're prepared to suffer public humiliation."

That cracked the gang up and led to a whole spin-off conversation about the consequences of Truth or Dare, from public school mishaps all the way up to college days. And though he planned to get a bottle of acetone out the moment they got home, the nail polish made him remember their Christmas vacation and the fun they'd had together, so he really couldn't bring himself to be upset about it. Plus Ziva was smiling and Tony had already learned from long experience that he'd do whatever it took to keep that look on her face. His wife was worth it.

_Replies:_

_Melissa - Hi Melissa! Thanks for reviewing! I always think people are so brave to review in a language other than their own. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story. No worries, I know that the OC's aren't for everybody. That's very sweet of you to say, thank you. Wow! Re-reading is such a huge compliment for me, thanks. And five times, that's a lot of dedication to the series! I personally am not a huge fan of the Ray/EJ stuff but since I don't have a choice about including it, that'll be coming up somewhere in the next 8-10 chapters. I can't make any promises because we have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but as long as God allows I hope to be on this site and writing these stories. There's lots more to come! ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - Wow, that's quite the compliment considering how many chapters there have been. Yeah, I agree, it is very nice to see the progress, that all their hard work has finally paid off. Their life outside of the office is my favourite part for sure. Thanks for reviewing! :)_


	38. 8x15 Defiance 2

**Sunday February 6 continued**

The rest of the guys had left shortly before eleven pm, but Mark hung around to see what topic of conversation would come up once they were alone. It had been the annual Super Bowl party, albeit in a scaled back fashion from how many enjoyed the iconic Sunday game, but this year was special. A month from now, after a stellar fifteen year career with his team, Darien 'Red Hot' Kent, would retire and the game of football would cease to be a part of his life for the first time in over two decades. Except, of course, for the scrimmage games the frat brothers played just for fun.

When the door closed behind their friends, Mark got up to pour himself a cup of coffee and sat down across from a man who'd been one of his best friends since they were eighteen. "Well Red, what do you think?"

Darien blew out a breath and leaned back against the cushions. "Making it to Division Playoffs wasn't so bad for a final run."

"Not bad at all." Mark sipped the strong brew. "You had a great career bro, you should be proud of what you accomplished."

"I am. It's just...strange to think of what life's going to look like come the first of March."

Mark chuckled. "You'll have a whole lot more free time, that's for sure. But you're also gonna have to hit the gym on a regular basis to make up for all the playing and practicing you're missing."

"Offering your services Papa Smurf?"

"Well, I am a licensed Personal Trainer."

Darien nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."

Silence fell between the two men for several moments. "Lotta changes coming," Mark commented. "Sure you're good with them?"

"We've had this conversation before. I'm good."

"Yeah, but before it was only hypothetical," the group leader pointed out. "Like 'someday when I retire'. Now it's all happening for real. What's your first step?"

Darien glanced at the framed photo on an end table showing his entire family group at their Christmas get-together. "I'm going home."

Mark sat up. "To stay?" That would be news he hadn't expected.

Darien chuckled. "And leave you all unsupervised without me? It would be total chaos."

"Probably," Mark conceded. "So not for good then."

"Nope. I'm a Southern boy born and bred, but this is where my roots are now. I'm gonna take a month, visit some old haunts, catch up with my siblings, spoil all my nieces and nephews, listen to my grandparents tell stories, eat lots of Mama's home cooking and walk the farm with Pop. Just find myself again, without all this," he waved his hand to encompass the room, where pictures and trophies from his career were displayed.

"I think that's a good choice buddy. Then what?"

"Always have to be one step ahead Reece?"

Mark gave his friend a pointed look. "I just want to know that you know what's coming. And that we'll all be here for you during the transition."

Darien folded his hands. "We didn't put you in charge for no reason. How much of Cassie is behind these questions?"

"Would you rather she came over and grilled you about the future?"

The big brown man winced. Cassie cared so deeply for those she'd designated as family that it often spilled out in tears. All the guys, including her husband, were total goners when that happened. "At least with you I don't need kleenex."

Mark chuckled. "You wouldn't know what to do without her."

"Nope," Darien agreed. "Or any of the rest either. That's why the second thing on my list is to move."

Mark cast a curious gaze around the spacious apartment. "Something the matter with this place that I don't know about?"

"It's not going to fit my lifestyle anymore. And I want to be closer to the people who matter in my life."

"I won't argue with that," Mark grinned. "But you realize that makes you more available to babysit, right?"

"Bring it on," Darien laughed. "Those amigos got nothing on me."

"You let us know when the right place comes up," Mark got serious. "We'll have a packing and moving party, get it all done in one day."

Darien started to say he could make professional arrangements, but realized that a long, loud, busy day of them all going in and out of his apartment, wrapping things, carrying boxes, laughing and joking around would probably be the best medicine for a melancholy he expected to feel with this momentous life change. "Done."

"And?"

He spread his hands. "Does there have to be an 'and'?"

"There usually is with you."

"Before you feel the need to get nosy, I'll tell you. Financially, I'm set. I knew this day would come eventually, I planned for it. There's no need to get all mother hen on me and worry about how I'm going to make it." Mark rolled his eyes. They never stopped teasing about the concern and big brother approach he took, but he also knew they depended on it. Not that they'd ever admit to that, of course. "As for the rest, well, I'm not quite sure I know what I want to be when I grow up, but I've already been by a couple high schools to see what might be out there for coaching jobs. One is coming up next year and I think I'll take it. See how I like standing outside the lines for once."

"Good for you. I think you'd make an excellent coach."

"Thanks. And until then I'm gonna take it one day at a time and see if I can't just enjoy life a little now that it's going to be running a whole lot slower."

Mark leaned forward. "I know Cassie's going to ask, so let me get ahead of the game here - can we throw you a retirement party?" Since Darien was more the strong, silent type, he didn't want to do anything that would make him uncomfortable.

Darien thought about it. "Will I have to wear a hat?"

Mark chuckled. "If Ken has anything to do with it, you will definitely have to wear a hat."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world. Count me in."

"Cool." The clock chimed another quarter hour and Mark couldn't ignore it any longer. "I hate to be a wet blanket, but you know Cass won't go to sleep until she knows I'm home, so I better start heading that direction." They both stood and shook hands, then Mark pulled him into a hug. "Hang in there man, you're almost done."

"Will do. Thanks Mark, for coming, for the support, just, for everything."

"You're welcome." He headed for the door. "See you next week?"

"Definitely."

"Our door's always open if you need something before then."

"And I know your phone number. Thanks Mom."

Mark stepped into the hall. "G'night Darien."

Darien leaned against the doorframe and watched his friend go. He wasn't sure what he'd done to end up as part of this group, but very little made him more thankful. How many people got so lucky as to have two amazing families who would do anything for them? It was a really special feeling and he looked forward to many more years to come.

**NCIS**

**Monday February 7**

"The blood drive starts today," Ziva mentioned as they rode the elevator to work.

"Yeah," Tony sighed. "I think I got that from the three reminder emails Abby sent before we left on Friday."

"What are you going to do?" She was very well acquainted with her husband's dislike of needles.

"Conveniently forget?" he offered, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't know what else to do."

"I suppose it is too late to call in sick," Ziva conceded as the numbers counted up.

"Wish I'd thought of that before," he muttered darkly.

Thankfully they arrived to an empty squadroom, as the rest of Team Gibbs was already fulfilling its civic duty by making an appearance at the clinic. Ziva deposited her things by her desk and squeezed his shoulder sympathetically on the way by to join their co-workers. Tony amused himself by playing with a face distorting app until they returned and lined up along the partition to observe, waiting for him to notice.

He spun around with a fake smile plastered on. "Oh, hey guys, where've you been?"

McGee made a face. "Why didn't you answer my text?"

"Text?" Tony held up his phone. "Oh gosh. Sorry, it was on vibrate." He gave an insincere little laugh like he didn't have a care in the world.

Ziva arched an eyebrow. "It is Monday Tony." The blank look he gave her required elaboration. "The blood drive?" She prompted. He still stared. "Eight to ten?" Tony checked his watch, mouth falling open like he had no idea.

"We all gave," McGee stated petulantly.

"Oh no!" He couldn't've sounded less false if he tried.

"Where were you?" his partner pestered, grateful he knew she was only keeping up their cover.

Tony's gaze focused on the little stickers their shirts bore to indicate participation. "Oh, that's today from eight to ten." He looked at his watch again. "And it's just after ten, so I guess... Well, there's always next year."

They began filing to their desks and Gibbs totally burst his bubble while getting something out of the filing cabinet. "They're going to be there every morning this week."

His monotone response told Ziva that wasn't what he wanted to hear. "Of course I can always try and do it tomorrow."

Tim had to throw a little dig out on the way by. "If you want to make Agent of the Year it's not going to look good if you don't give."

Ziva began thinking of other ways for him to avoid that chunk of time for the next four mornings, and while she was pondering solutions Gibbs was called to Vance's office. Tony, ignoring for now the bleak reality that lay in front of him, surreptitiously printed his doctored photo of Abby and proudly stapled it to his bulletin board. He leaned back in his chair, quite pleased with himself, and she couldn't help but smile at the little things that brought him joy.

**NCIS**

After the briefing in which NCIS was basically tasked with babysitting Adriana Gorgova, daughter of the Belgravian Defense Minister targeted with assassination, the partners were more than a little put out when Gibbs paired Ziva with McGee and himself with Tony for the protection detail shifts. Tony's first thought had to do with their boss not trusting them with protection detail, as if they were still being punished for the outcome of Jenny's choices, but Ziva had a strong feeling that her surrogate father was just not encouraging a whole lot of alone time for two people he thought were already too close for his comfort.

As always, they managed to steal a moment alone in the copy room before attending to their assigned duties. Tony leaned back against the counter and tucked some hair behind her ear. "Just when I was used to falling asleep beside you again."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Do not be dramatic Tony. It is only for a few days."

"So this doesn't bother you?" he asked, both eyebrows raised.

"Of course I would rather be with you, but I am also glad for a reason to spend more time with Tim. I like an opportunity to check up on his life once in awhile. At least this situation does not require the elevator to get stuck so we can talk."

He chuckled briefly. "Fair enough. But Gibbs and I have the opposite problem - trying to have a conversation with that man is more than likely to directly result in my own bodily harm. And if he does talk, I have no interest in getting grilled on my feelings for you."

She patted his cheek. "I do not think you have to worry. He will either read or patrol. You, on the other hand, may want to take the portable DVD player for some amusement."

Tony stuck his hands in his pockets, striking a surprised expression. "Oh darn. Must've left that in my other clothes."

Ziva shook her head. "The next time you are home I mean."

"Meh, I'll just play games on my phone and text my wife."

"Don't forget your charger then. And if you text your wife in the middle of the night when she's sleeping, I doubt you will like the result."

He pulled her close and kissed her slowly, dragging it out for a full ten seconds before releasing her. "I love you. I'll miss you. Stay safe. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Ziva nestled her face against his neck. "Mmm...the same goes for you."

Their time together ticked down and she stepped back, though he still held her hand. "Keep me updated, okay?"

"Of course. I love you." Then she slipped out the door before he could stall her any longer.

Ziva and McGee's first task was to actually find the daughter. The embassy had tried to set up a meeting for her with the team but she claimed to be unavailable because of her class schedule. They parked across the street from her house and McGee whistled. "Geez, I definitely did not live in a place like that when I was in college."

A pretty, stylish redhead came out the door and Ziva's brow furrowed. "Is that her?"

They both studied the photo they were given and McGee pursed his lips. "I don't know, you think?"

"Six years in America changes people," Ziva mused.

He looked interested. "Are you referring to yourself as well?"

She met his gaze. "Do you not think I am different now than when I first came?"

McGee took a moment to remember the confident, feisty, dangerous girl who saved their butts on her first tag-along case and nodded slowly. "Yeah, definitely."

There was no more time for conversation as they caught up with the young woman but it appeared to be a wasted trip when she refused the protection detail. "There was an attempt on your father's life," Ziva pointed out. "I do not think it is your choice."

"Adriana," a voice called from across the street, causing them all to look that way. A boy with longer brown hair crossed the street, focused only on the younger woman. "Sorry, I got hung up at work."

"Give me a minute, Judd," Adriana requested, sounding slightly strained. She stepped towards the agents and lowered her voice. "I've lived here independently and have enjoyed my privacy. My father's identity is known to very few and I intend to keep it that way."

Judd leaned in. "Adriana, we're-we're late for the study group."

She glanced at him and gave her parting shot to Tim and Ziva. "Take your protection detail, and shove it." Then she smiled and turned away. "Let's go Judd."

They stared after her and Ziva shook her head in disbelief. "Wow."

McGee and Ziva returned to the office after being dismissed by Adriana and reported their attempt to Gibbs, who passed that information onto Vance, and the director in turn spoke with Defense Minister Gorgova, who assured him the matter would be resolved in the morning. Meanwhile all members of Team Gibbs continued to look into Adriana's life and determine possible threats. Late afternoon arrived before Ziva recalled her promise to Adrian and pulled up the Tijon website, digging around in her purse for the list she'd made at their family dinner regarding which guy wanted what cologne. Around that time McGee happened by, returning from a visit to the coffee shop down the street.

He leaned on the partition. "What's Tijon?"

Ziva blanked the screen. "You are getting to be as bad as Tony."

Tim rounded the side and sat on the corner of her desk, holding out a small paper bag. "I brought you a cookie."

His gesture softened her expression and she swivelled her chair to face him. "That is very kind, thank you." She broke a piece off the raspberry filled, lemon shortbread treat.

He nodded at the computer screen. "So?"

Ziva sighed and opened the webpage again. "Tijon is a perfumery. They make their own hand mixed perfumes and colognes. It is a good...gift idea, if you know someone well."

McGee's smile was genuine, not teasing. "I'm sure Rob trusts your judgement."

Her brow furrowed. "I did not say who it was for."

"Come on Ziva, you've been emailing the guy for five months. There's got to be something there."

She glanced down, then sideways at him. "Some things are private McGee."

Tim took the hint with no malice in his gaze. "Fair enough. But someday we're going to want to check him out, make sure he's good enough for you. Right Tony?" He stared at the senior field agent who was too caught off guard to come up with an explanation that did not involve eavesdropping for why he was leaning over his computer and watching them closely.

"Uh...yeah," he agreed tightly. "Right."

Ziva shot her husband a sympathetic glance and returned to her task, getting the order placed so their friends could have their belated presents sooner rather than later.

With no protection detail now looming tonight the team was dismissed early, which suited Tony and Ziva just fine. "I guess we jumped the gun on that goodbye," Tony observed as they headed out to the car.

She shrugged. "Better to say if again than risk not getting to say it at all. And this reprieve gives us a chance to prepare for being away tomorrow."

Tony was thinking more along the lines of something involving them being naked and folded his fingers between hers as they headed for the car. "I'll make you a deal - dessert first, responsibilities later."

A smile curved over her lips and she stopped in front of him, walking her fingers up his chest. "Well, I am always interested in dessert." He grinned and Ziva cocked her head to the side. "Do we have any cake left?"

His bubble burst, Tony's shoulders sagged and he whined. "Zi."

Chuckling softly, she went up on tiptoe to press her lips to his. "Of course, I would like the other kind of dessert just as well too."

As it turned out, both forms of dessert came into play once the couple were home. Bedroom activities satisfied a little more of Tony's longing, while Ziva's desire for the remaining iced cake was also met. She even shared a couple bites with her husband as they stood at the kitchen counter in bathrobes. Then, reminded of the part of the deal including responsibility, Tony and Ziva donned pyjamas and began updating their go-bags, retrieved from her NCIS locker before they left. All essentials were accounted for, though this kind of protection duty wouldn't likely allow for sleep.

Once that was accomplished they returned to the kitchen and whipped up chicken alfredo for a, by now, very late supper. At bedtime Tony tucked his wife close against his body and buried his nose in her hair. If this was the last time they were in the same bed for awhile he wanted to savour every moment.

**NCIS**

Just before lunch the phone rang and Cassie answered the kitchen extension with her signature, "This is Cassie."

She could hear the smile in her father's voice. "Hello Precious."

This had felt like the longest month of her life, but she'd been determined not to butt in on the new life her father was building with Claire, so she and Mark had agreed to wait until he contacted them once the newlyweds were settled after their honeymoon and Claire moving in to her dad's house. "Hi Dad. I missed you."

"Me too Mattie. How are you? How're the kids?"

Cassie couldn't help her smile. "Oh, you know, busy as usual and loving every minute. McKenna's ballet class just chose their piece for the recital. It doesn't happen until June, but you wouldn't know it by the way she's gushing. Every important person in her life is required to come. I'm sure she'll hit you up too the first chance she gets."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." He was the kind of grandpa that actively participated in his grandchildren's lives and he'd been there for every important moment since they were born.

"And Alec is having a blast with basketball. They won their first game." She began wandering around the first floor, as she didn't like to sit still during conversations. Every time Mark witnessed the routine he'd tease her about taking on some of Adrian's personality.

Matthew sighed. "A month is an awfully long time sweetheart, I've missed those kids like crazy."

"No more than they've missed you."

"I want our Friday nights back honey, and I'm sure you and Mark would appreciate the time to yourselves again."

Cassie shrugged. "We've been patching things together with the group to make it work Dad. Don't feel like you have to."

"Cassidy," he said sharply, catching her attention and bringing back memories. Her name wasn't short for anything, which had caused difficulties when she was in trouble and there wasn't a fuller form of her name to call her by and let her know about it. Because of that, her mother had long ago taken to calling her 'Cassidy' in those situations, so whenever she heard that Cassie knew she was in for it.

"Wow," she chuckled, "it's been awhile since I heard that tone." But lightening the mood wasn't what Matthew was going for.

"Have I ever given you cause to think I take my grandkids once a week because I feel like I have to?"

Rightfully reproached, she hung her head. "No."

"Then why say it now?"

Cassie swallowed, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. "Because...I'm trying Dad, but I don't know Claire well enough to be comfortable leaving the kids there overnight." She knew her dad would not have married the woman if she wasn't kind and trustworthy and loving, but as a mom who'd struggled with this life change for weeks she just wasn't ready to give over care of her children to a woman who felt like a stranger to her.

Matthew was quiet for a moment. "I see only two ways this can go Mattie. Either you cut us off from any contact with the kids, which I personally think would be selfish and cruel, or you make it your mission to get to know Claire so she can become part of all of your lives and not just mine."

Talk about having it laid bare for her. Cassie's mind raced for another avenue, but in her heart she knew her father spoke the truth. "Then I guess," she said quietly, "I'll have to talk to Mark. Can we call you back tonight?"

His first reaction was relief that she was willing to listen to reason, but he kept that carefully hidden. "Of course Precious. Anytime."

She nodded. "After the kids are in bed." She hesitated. "I love you. I'm...sorry to be difficult."

Matthew shook his head slowly. "Cassie Matanah, I have loved you every moment of your life, both difficult and sweet. I know the kind of child you were and I am so proud of the woman you've become. I know your heart is for Jesus and of anything else that's what will smooth the way in this situation. Have you been taking your struggles to him?"

"Everyday, just like you taught me." She'd learned to pray and lean on God even before she was tall enough to kneel beside her bed. "I'm sure He's working on it right now."

"So am I. We'll talk later."

"Okay. Bye."

She hung up the phone and leaned her head back, replaying parts of the conversation over and over again. That was how Mark found her when he came home on lunch break and it made him pause just inside the entry. "Cass?"

The smile she offered was a bit weak. "Hey you."

He toed off his boots and came over to crouch beside her, studying her face. "What's that look?"

"Dad called," she explained simply. "He wants the kids back for Friday nights."

"I know two people in this family who wouldn't complain about that."

"And it would be easier than imposing on the gang," she agreed. "But..."

"Yeah," he sighed. "But then there's Claire. Any new thoughts on that?" He shifted to join her on the floor, taking one of her cold hands in his to rub.

Cassie shrugged. "Dad didn't give me much of a choice. Either we shun them, or I have to get over myself and start treating her like a member of the family."

Mark knew Matthew pretty well after close to two decades being married to his daughter. "I highly doubt he said it like that."

"No, but that was the idea. And he's not wrong. I told him we'd call him back later tonight."

He gave her a minute of space to sort out her feelings. "So?"

She frowned in his direction. "Don't you have an opinion?"

"I do. But it doesn't hold any weight until you've settled in your heart how you are going to proceed. I'm here to support you however you need."

"Great, leave it all on me."

Mark turned her chin to face him. "I'm not going to fight with you Cass. You know my feelings already. I like Claire. She's been nothing but nice to us. And it's good to see Matthew smile that way. You already know the answer honey, now you just have to accept it."

Why did the significant men in her life have to be so wise and discerning? Cassie battled her human nature again with what she knew Jesus would have her do, just like the initials on the bracelet she'd worn all through high school, and finally gave in with a sigh. "Well, I suppose we start with having coffee." She huffed a laugh at herself. "And if I survive that, maybe dinner with the whole family."

He kissed her temple. "I'm proud of you."

"I wish you and Dad would stop saying that. I don't deserve it yet." She hated feeling so conflicted, especially when she knew what the right thing to do was and hadn't been doing it.

"We don't deserve it from God either, that's why it's called grace."

"Okay." Cassie leaned into his side. "Have I ever told you how thankful I am to have you for my husband?"

Mark grinned. "Probably. But you can always say it again."

Her lips found his and she whispered, "I don't know what I'd do without you," on his skin before indulging in a long shared caress. Tonight things would be changing once again and Cassie knew she'd need to keep a tight hold of the right attitude so she didn't ruin whatever chance they had of finally being a complete family once more.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday February 8**

Already prepared to spend a few days apart, Tony and Ziva did no more than exchange quick glances when she and McGee were called to Director Vance's office fifteen minutes after the arrival of Defense Minister Gorgova and his unhappy daughter. They stood rather uncomfortably off to the side observing the conversation.

"You will do as you are told, do you understand?"

Adriana stood face to face with her father. "I am twenty-four years old and have been on my own for six years. I don't need to be chaperoned by anyone."

"You have not been on your own. I have supported you!" Mr. Gorgova countered. "You are in this country on student visa, it can be revoked immediately." Very displeased, Adriana regarded her father while she weighed his threat. He continued quieter. "I am concerned for your safety Adriana." He moved closer, set hands on her arms, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

The man's ultimatum made Ziva think of Eli, but the next moment when he revealed his concern any similarities vanished. Director David had never cared like that.

Mr. Gorgova approached the agents. "I apologize for my daughter's behaviour. You will see she is a very intelligent young lady. And reasonable," he cast a gaze back at her, "when she wants to be."

"We will watch after her Sir," Ziva promised.

While Director Vance was showing her father out, Adriana walked over to Tim and Ziva. "Okay. You can tag along if you want. But understand I am not changing my routine for you. I've got classes, I am behind on my dissertation, and I'm training for the National Marathon next month."

"We won't get in your way," McGee assured her.

Adriana checked her watch. "I have an appointment for a facial and Brazilian at ten."She aimed a flirtatious glance at McGee. "Are you coming?"

Ziva smiled and McGee just rolled his eyes. As they followed Adriana through the door, he glanced at his temporary partner. "Uh...think you could take this one?" He had a mom and a sister and past girlfriends so he know about those kinds of appointments, but he had no desire to actually be in on one.

She patted his arm. "I will take the inside. You can keep watch from the car."

Once Adriana got her beauty regimen out of the way they drove her to the school for a full afternoon of classes, taking turns who sat in on class and who monitored exits. That Adriana didn't like being shadowed was plain to see, and from the looks friends were giving as two armed escorts trailed her through the halls she'd have an awful lot of explaining to do when this was over.

After her last class the group stopped to pick up dinner on their way to Adriana's apartment, and once there Ziva and McGee were quick to check everything inside and out of the building before declaring it secure. "Thanks," Adriana said sarcastically when she entered, one of the few words she'd spoken to the agents all day, and one of the last.

They all ate sitting on barstools facing the kitchen, then McGee retired to the couch with a blank notepad to continue working on his next book while Ziva stayed close to Adriana. It was now after seven and as soon as Tony arrived home she got a text. _How's it going?_

_We are still in one piece._

_Good place to start. Get dinner?_

_Veggie wraps. Adriana is a bit of a health nut._

_Right up your alley._

He didn't elaborate and she smirked. _You have something in the microwave, yes?_

There was no response for over a minute and then she almost heard the wince accompanying his next message. _Maybe?_

Ziva chuckled and McGee looked up. "Something funny Ziva?"

She immediately cleared her expression. "Inside joke."

"Between you and your guy in Miami?" he inquired, pretty sure he knew the answer.

Ziva only smiled because Tony, wary of her silence, sent a concerned, _Am I in trouble?_

She shook her head. _Of course not. Enjoy._

_I'd enjoy it more if you were here with me._

_I will see you soon._

That concluded their conversation for now and Ziva picked up the book she'd set aside. In her years of stakeouts, and for pleasure in general, she'd gone through a wide variety of material. But she was truly enjoying plumbing the depths of Cassie's fascinating collection and so thankful her friend was willing to lend out even favourite novels so others could enjoy them like she had. The current treasure was a tale that switched back and forth between modern times and the past, tracing the family legacy through a pearl and amethyst broach handed from generation to generation, looking for the secret to redeem the future of a young girl and her great-grandmother. She hadn't expected it to be so engrossing, but made herself put the novel down every fifteen minutes to do a circuit of the apartment, scanning the street and checking each window and door just in case.

At one point when Adriana wanted to spread out more of her papers and needed the space, Ziva joined McGee on the couch. She planned to get right back to her story, but couldn't resist a comment first. "Is that for your book?"

Slightly distracted, Tim nodded. "Mmhmm."

Ziva leaned towards him. "Are there any familiar characters in this one?"

He sighed heavily. "I told you before-"

"You can deny it to your dying day, we all know it is true."

McGee grimaced. "You've been spending too much time with Tony."

She let the observation slide considering she'd implied something similar to him yesterday and opened her book again. Several minutes later he looked up and noticed her absently fiddling with the emerald ring on her right hand. Figuring turnabout was fair play, it was his turn for a question. "That's a pretty ring Ziva, where'd you get it? I don't think you ever said."

She didn't even take her eyes from the page. "It is from an old friend."

The vague answer wasn't what he hoped for and McGee frowned. That always seemed to be her fallback line. Usually when she said that they assumed Rob, but it didn't work for this because she'd been wearing it for years. He thought back, trying to remember the early days after she joined the team and didn't think the ring was a fixture then, but it had appeared at some point after. Could Michael have given it to her?

While he pondered the mystery Ziva pulled the ring off her finger, a soft expression on her face as she studied it. "Can I see?" he asked, sure there was more to the story.

Rather an offer him the jewellery, she slid it back on and held out her hand so he could get a closer look. "Wow, nice," McGee said after a moment, wondering what the big secret was. "Must've been a special guy who gave that to you."

"Why do you assume it was a man?" she murmured, nudging his thoughts towards her family.

He took the tangent, wondering who else there was left of the Davids besides Eli and her aunt. After mulling that over in his head for awhile, Tim concluded that in her own way she was gently but firmly refusing him any more information and decided to give up on the topic...for now.

Not too much later Adriana had a meltdown about her computer when the dreaded blue screen of death appeared. "No, no, no, no, no!"

"What?" Ziva moved towards their charge, resuming her previous position at the counter.

"My computer just crashed. I've lost everything!"

McGee joined the conversation. "Well, you know, it's really not possible to lose everything. Mind if I take a look?"

Adriana waved a hand. "Uh-uhn. This paper's too important. I need somebody that actually knows what they're doing."

Ziva chuckled. "Well, McGee is pretty good with computers." That seemed to be his cue to go over and investigate the problem. "Among his degrees he has a Masters in Computer Forensics from MIT."

Before McGee could get all modest about his accomplishments the buzzer went, indicating someone was in the lobby. "That must be our replacements." She went to the wall and pushed the intercom button, receiving confirmation that it was Gibbs while McGee started checking Adriana's computer.

"He sounds pleasant," the girl commented upon hearing Gibbs' signature growl.

Ziva smiled. "That's our boss. A man of few words."

"To quote the agent that'll walk in here with him," McGee elaborated, "'a functional mute.' I suggest you don't mess with him too much." He got her file back and set the word processor to auto-save every minute.

With her coat over her arm, Ziva watched the scene fondly from the entry way. Tim looked like he didn't expect a beautiful woman to make conversation with him, but she thought he deserved to get some of the attention for once. Often it was Tony fake trying to steal the show instead. Hearing the special knock on the door she knew it could only be one person on the other side, but protocol demanded she check first and make sure. Ziva found her husband very close, staring into the peephole and smiling like he knew it would be her. A very significant look passed between them when he walked in with Gibbs right behind him that clearly stated he wished they were on protection detail together.

Thankfully they got a few moments alone while McGee introduced Gibbs to Adriana and briefed their boss on a so far uneventful shift. While standing with his wife Tony glanced over at Adriana, recalling years spent going after girls like her. He shook his head at himself and muttered, "So glad you grew up DiNozzo."

Ziva arched an eyebrow. "I have been gone so long you resorted to talking to yourself?"

Tony brushed his fingers over hers and grinned. "Nah. I was just thinking I wouldn't change a thing."

She followed his gaze and caught on quick. "I am proud of you."

He never got enough of the way she looked at him, admiration and love etched clearly in her dark eyes, but now was not the time for her to be so open. He cleared his throat, nodding his head in the direction of their boss. Ziva's face fell for a moment, though she knew he was only being practical, and Tony took the chance to murmur. "It was so worth it." This time the smile only touched the corners of her mouth, and then McGee came over pulling his coat on.

"Ready Ziva?"

The 'I love you' she'd meant to convey would have to be silent now that a witness was present, so she merely nodded. "Goodnight Tony." She cut a glance back at Adriana. "Good luck."

He seemed a bit uncertain as they left. "Am I going to need it?"

Ziva's first mission once she and McGee parted ways and she arrived home was to take Meira for a long walk that actually became more of a sprint at times. Apparently both she and the dog had some extra energy to work off tonight. After that she started laundry and wandered into the kitchen while the machine was running. She wasn't overly hungry herself, but for Tony she would eat something. Then it occurred to her that her husband would likely be on his own again tomorrow, so she started a simple casserole that employed more breakfast foods than supper ones, though it worked for any meal.

She cut a few pieces of bread into cubes, dropping the odd one for Meira who sat pressed against her right leg, and spread them in the pan. Sausages leftover from their morning meal a couple days ago were sliced and added to the bread. Again one or two hit the floor, making her dog's tail wag with excitement as she licked them up. Some spinach in the fridge just waiting to be used she chopped and added in. Unlike Adrian, Tony didn't have a rule that green (read: healthy) food was all bad, especially when he could hardly taste it for all the other ingredients. A portion of cheese was grated and sprinkled on top the rest, then several eggs were beaten with milk, salt, and pepper before the mixture was poured evenly over the entire concoction.

By the time the dryer was tumbling the last load Ziva pulled the glass pan out of the oven and dished herself up a portion of egg bake. It was as good as she remembered and she settled on the couch, feeling like she was indulging in a guilty pleasure by watching _Sound of Music_ while her husband was away. The movie played a third of the way through, then Ziva made herself get up and do something useful, first by putting away supper and then grabbing the first basket of clean laundry to fold.

That got old rather quickly and she abandoned the rest, completely ignoring her training about seeing jobs through to the end and being thorough about every task, choosing instead to get comfortable in the livingroom chair with her sketch pad. Going from memory, she drew a picture of she and her husband dancing together, putting quite a bit of effort in to make it her best work. Drawing itself was always enjoyable but to create an intimate scene they'd so often played out in real life, with ample opportunity to close her eyes and relive those moments, kept a small smile on her face almost the entire time. She was nearing the end of both the movie and the artwork when her phone dinged with a text message.

_If Probie hadn't been quite so prompt, I was going to say 'I love you'._

_What a coincidence. Those words would have been my next thought as well._

_Miss me?_

She shrugged nonchalantly. _It is hard to say. You have always had a problem with Maria._

The reference was grasped within seconds and she could almost see him shaking his head._ Whatever makes you happy babe._

_How is it going?_

_Slow. Gibbs insists we keep watch and nap in one hour shifts, but not until Adriana's in bed. She seems to be a nighthawk so I doubt I'll be sleeping any time soon._

Just for that, Ziva decided she would also make her husband cookies, and returned to the kitchen to set out ingredients. They chatted back and forth for the next hour and she managed not to give away the surprise by commenting how incredible the warm and still gooey cookies tasted. While waiting for his reply to one of her messages she found a few sticky notes and left them in various places around the house, anticipating the path he would follow when he returned home to sleep in the morning. Then she regretfully informed him that she was headed to bed.

_Be safe_, she warned after sliding under the covers. _AOO._

_I love you too_, he sent back. _Sweet dreams._

Ziva got as comfy as she could as the lone occupant of the bed and closed her eyes. Sleep might not come as easily without him by her side, but as long as the blankets and pillow smelled like her husband she still felt safe, and thankfully it wasn't long before his familiar scent began soothing her into slumber. It would always be one of her favourite things in the world.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday February 9**

Unless there was an active case Ducky and Jimmy didn't have to be at NCIS until ten, which made a dark quiet Autopsy the ideal place for Gibbs to nap, regardless of how startling it was for the medical examiner and his assistant to find a living, breathing, talking body on one of their tables. All told Gibbs got about three hours of sleep between the night before and this brief rest, but coffee and years of practice going without would get him through the day.

Tony also dragged himself home when a wide awake McGee and Ziva took over for them at nine am. He barely offered a smile to his wife before trudging out the door covering a yawn. He perked back up on his way into the house because the first thing he saw was a blue sticky note. _Welcome home neshama. Check the kitchen after you change_. She knew him so well. He hung up his coat, catching sight of a small purple paper attached to the dog leash. _Meira has already been walked. Do not let her convince you otherwise_. The dog in question came out of the office just then, carrying her beloved bunny.

"Hey pretty girl," he murmured, ruffling her fur on the way to the bedroom. There he divested himself of work clothes, pulling on instead checkered flannel pyjama pants and a dark t-shirt. Only marginally coherent he shuffled to the kitchen, grinning at the wrapped plate of cookies. _Help yourself_, a bright green square offered._ They were made with you in mind_. The PS was accompanied by a smiley face. _They are even better warmed up. _Popping a couple in the microwave, Tony opened the fridge door to see what was fit for breakfast. His mouth watered at the sight of a nearly full glass pan, where a yellow note proclaimed, _Egg bake. Enjoy! I left you something on the coffee table as well._

Inhaling the delightfully soft, chocolatey cookies, he scooped out a large bowl of casserole and set the microwave for a minute. Once the steaming food was ready he collapsed on the couch and reached for the remote. A red piece of paper let him know she'd recorded an episode of one of his shows on the DVR last night._ Do not stay up too long ahava, you need your rest_.

Utterly thankful for such a thoughtful wife, he ate breakfast slowly while watching half the show, then slipped Meira a treat, brushed his teeth, and headed for bed. On Ziva's pillow was the final pink square._ Sleep well Tony, I love you_. An imprint of her lips graced the paper and he pressed his own there as well. "I love you too sweetheart." He managed enough lucidity to send a quick text, then closed his eyes and was asleep before two more minutes passed.

**NCIS**

At nine-thirty Ziva and McGee trailed Adriana to a meeting in her professor's office. They insisted on checking the room first, but did concede to wait outside until she finished. Adriana had made no secret of how much she disliked having the agents around. Luckily there were chairs provided in the hall for just such an occasion, so Ziva and McGee made themselves comfortable. Not long after sitting down, Ziva's phone dinged and she opened it, not surprised to see a message from her husband. _You're amazing. Thank you. I owe you at least two kisses for that_.

She chuckled and immediately replied. _Maybe even three. You're welcome._

Seeing the fondness in her expression, McGee tried to get a glimpse of the screen, only to have Ziva pull it closer to him with a rebuke in her tone. "McGee."

He cleared his throat. "Sorry." After spending so much time with her the past couple days, he couldn't help his curiosity about the guy she was keeping so secret. "You texting him?"

Ziva purposefully misinterpreted 'him' to mean her husband who was supposed to be in bed. "It was a thank you for something. At least he did not ask me what I was doing." Now she'd gone back to referring to Rob, to continue the charade.

"And you can't give him too many details," McGee nodded knowingly.

"A relationship is difficult under any circumstances," Ziva replied. "More so in our line of work."

"Relationship?" he asked, wondering if she'd accidentally let that detail slip.

Since her husband hadn't responded, she set another text._ I hope the silence means you are sleeping. AOO_. Then she looked at McGee. "How long do you think we're going to be together?"

His brow furrowed. "You and Rob?"

Ziva shook her head. "No, us - Gibbs' team. I mean, you've been here seven years, Tony's been here even longer."

"Yeah, I do think about that myself sometimes," McGee agreed. "I mean, Tony turned down that post in Spain four years ago, career-wise he can't do that again."

Surprise coloured her expression. Rota had always been something Tony wanted kept on the down low, not wanting a very sensitive choice to become water cooler gossip fodder. He'd never mentioned sharing that information with their teammates. "When did he tell you about that?"

McGee could tell by the way she phrased it that she used to be the only one who knew. He guessed it made sense, the partners were pretty tight as friends by her second year with the team. He smiled a bit sadly. "We talked about a lot of stuff when we were the only two on the team."

Somalia and her choice to stay in Israel alone, confused, and without back up slapped her in the face and she drew herself upright. Of course during that summer Tony had been pretty convinced they were over, so it made sense that he would've confided in others, even if he couldn't share his deepest hurt - losing her. "Oh, I see."

Tim squeezed her hand gently. "Don't worry Ziva, you're still his best friend."

She gave him a tight smile, then shook away the past and continued. "Do you think you'd want to lead your own team?" While waiting for a reply, she let her thoughts drift, wondering briefly if the rules would be different for she and Tony on a different team. But her husband deserved that honour too, of being team leader. Which was only likely to happen if Gibbs ever decided to hang up his gun and retire, something not expected anytime soon by what she knew of him.

McGee mulled the idea over in his head. "Yeah. Yeah. Someday, sure." He didn't sound all that confident, however, and she wondered what he'd really do if the opportunity ever arose.

Judd, Adriana's study partner, arrived then and interrupted anything else that might've been said. Both agents were left in a contemplative mood by the conversation Ziva had started just to get a feel for how things might change eventually. After the upheaval that was their lives post-Somalia, she was rather attached to everything staying the same. But that wasn't possible, because she had promised her husband their secret wouldn't stand forever, that someday she'd be brave enough to claim their choice in front of everyone. The only question was, would the consequences be worth the freedom to not hide their marriage from the world?

_Replies:_

_Guest - Thank you :) Cassie's definitely on her way there. It's not so much that she's worried the kids won't remember her mom (she died before they were born), she's just having a really hard time getting used to someone knew in her dad's life who is essentially taking the place of her mom. She and her dad have been super close her whole life and she's kind of threatened by the change. It's a lot of confusing emotions. Not everyone deals with life changes calmly and with no anxiety. She'll come around to the right answer, but she's got to work through her own stuff first. She's not doing it to try and be selfish, but sometimes it takes awhile to get your heart pointed in the right direction even if you know in your head what the right thing is to do. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I hope it helps clarify the situation a little bit. Thanks for reviewing :) ~Aliyah_

_Melissa - Hi. Thanks for the thoughts. Unfortunately all that family stuff was dealing with my grampa who passed away last weekend from cancer he's been fighting for 10 years. It sucks, because I would've rather had him here, but he was a Christian so he's in heaven with God now. I'm grateful to know I'll see him again someday. Our whole family made it to the hospital in time to say goodbye and we were all standing around his bed singing hymns as he slipped away. It was very peaceful and I'll remember that moment forever. I miss him but I'm glad he's not in pain anymore. We has some really good moments at the hospital, a lot of telling stories and laughter, so there isn't as much sadness attached to losing him as I expected._

_I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I'm basing Z's bad months off of one of my friends who has really painful cycles, so much so that she struggles to function. Tony is great, isn't he? Sometimes I wish I could clone that man :) I'm going to do my best with R and EJ. I think I still have a few chapters before EJ shows up, she'll be the biggest nuisance. Most of the R stuff is already written and dealt with. I'm glad you're looking forward to where the story is going. I don't think your English is bad at all, I really appreciate the review! :) ~Aliyah_

_Allie - lol...you're welcome. I don't mind if you repeat a few words, it's always nice to hear what people are thinking about the story. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, more to come soon I hope. haha...no one's ever put a BOLO out on me before, that makes me feel special :) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - Yup. Mine are not that bad, but I have a friend who has really intensely painful cycles and I always feel so bad because almost nothing makes her feel better. I love Tony and I love watching the way he loves Z, it's so cute :) Mark's got an ulterior motive, besides visiting Kevin, for taking the extra work. But the other reason behind it won't come out until April or May, so still several chapters away. Cassie and Mark make a good team. They've worked hard to create a good marriage. I like seeing it in action. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_


	39. 8x15 Defiance 3

_A/N: Ha! I bet some of you guys almost fell over to see a double update from me this week! :D Don't get your hopes up, I won't be able to do this often, but I am bound and determined to have this part of the story finished off before my birthday (which is the end of April). To make that deadline, there are a couple weeks I'll need to post two chapters. This story is almost 2 years old and it's unfair to keep dragging it out so much. So enjoy, let me know what you think, and hopefully I'll see you all back here again next time! Lots of love ~Aliyah_

**Wednesday February 9 continued**

Six hours later, allowing Tony five solid hours of sleep and enough time to try and wake himself up with a cool shower as well as grabbing an apple that would have to do for lunch, he headed into the office. Ziva's text when he arrived suggested he wear sweats since Adriana wanted to go for a run soon as part of her marathon training. It also explained that McGee would be sticking around because Gibbs wanted her language skills for translating some documents related to the case. He was just about to go down to his locker for workout clothes when Abby appeared.

She strode into the squadroom and stopped at Tony's desk, making it clear her mission was with him even though he was the only one there. He winced, knowing what the visit was about. "Are you here to scold me?"

"Yes," she declared vehemently. "Tony, you skipped the blood drive again. You're the only one on Team Gibbs that hasn't donated."

Tony hedged. "Well, I was up all night guarding the Belgravian brat. Y'know, I only got a couple hours of sleep. Now I've gotta go and I've gotta relieve Ziva." He laughed. "I'm a busy guy Abbs. I'll do it tomorrow, really." She put her hands on her hips and he continued blabbering. "Tomorrow morning, for sure. What?" The look she was giving him wasn't reassuring in the least.

Abby huffed. "I don't understand. You donated your sperm when you were in college."

"That's-that's entirely different."

She tilted her head to the side and studied him. "Tony, what's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

Abby grew serious, lowering her voice and letting him know she was safe to share secrets with. "Tony."

Tony sighed and checked the area around them before giving in and confiding in his determined little sister. "Ever since I was in the hospital with the plague, I've been terrified by needles." He kissed her cheek. "I gotta go." Then he rushed out in such a hurry he missed the smile that crawled across Abby's face signaling she had an idea. Usually that look spelled trouble for him, but what he didn't know he couldn't worry about. She had some phone calls to make.

**NCIS**

Ziva had debated many times about saying something to Adriana, and in truth she wasn't overly sure she was the one to be giving out advice considering her own non-existent relationship with the man who used to be her father, but still she ventured a hopefully innocuously worded sentence. "Are you going to spend any time with your father before he leaves?"

Adriana was tying her running shoes. "I doubt it. I don't think there's any time for me on his schedule."

Ziva nodded. She'd been there too. "I gather you two are not very close."

The girl straightened slowly. "We were, when I was younger. But things changed."

_Doesn't that sound familiar_, Ziva thought. "When he got into politics?"

"Yeah."

Ziva gave a brief chuckle. "I, too, have a father whose first love is his country."

Adriana glanced her direction. "Are his politics as misguided as my father's?"

Tony entered the room in time to hear what she said and decided to save his wife from having to come up with an answer. "Don't get me started on fathers."

Adriana took in Tony's sweats and gestured to Ziva. "Are you going to change?"

"I would like nothing better than to join you on your run," she answered truthfully. "But I am needed back at the office. Agents DiNozzo and McGee are going to train with you today."

That seemed to interest their protectee. "Is there a...Mrs. McGee?"

"Only his mom," Tony put in and Ziva shot him a look.

"Not, he's not married."

"Girlfriend?" Adriana asked.

Ziva hesitated. "There is someone he is very close to. But I know of nothing official."

"Hm."

Tony never passed up an opportunity to rag on McGee, but Ziva quickly put an end to his fun. "Do not listen to him. McGee is a very sweet man. He is intelligent and loyal to a fault." She advanced threateningly on her partner and he flinched, covering the family jewels just in case her act wasn't all for show. They'd need those when they had enough saved to try for IVF.

A good half hour later Adriana was still keeping up a rapid pace with Tim and Tony following right behind her. McGee glanced at his co-worker. "I'm surprised how well you're keeping up Tony."

Tony frowned at him. "I do work out you know Probie. You don't think this gorgeous body just happens, do you?"

Tim scoffed and Adriana called back. "You should think of running in the marathon next month Tim. I train with a group on the weekends. Why don't you join us?" They finally stopped for a breather, but she jogged on the spot while the guys took a quick break.

"Uh...I'll-I'll think about it," McGee finally responded, not sounding at all sure. Tony was pretty certain his hesitation had to do with a certain dark haired goth princess down in the lab.

Adriana smiled. "Good."

Unable to handle being left out, Tony had to throw his two cents in. "You know, I ran the Boston Marathon back in '95."

"You didn't do so bad for a guy your age," Adriana commented, but her insincerity and Tim's little smirk only served to annoy him further. He would always be sensitive about his age with a wife almost a decade younger and the dig also hurt. He'd been working very hard, with and without Ziva, to stay healthy and in shape. It was these times when he really chafed under the weight of their secret, wishing everyone else could see the man he'd become out of love for Ziva. "Anyone else hungry?" she continued, oblivious to his mental state.

"Yeah," McGee agreed.

"There's a great bistro by my house," Adriana offered. "They make the best mixta salad."

McGee seemed like he was trying too hard to please their pretty young charge. "Okay by me." Tony couldn't help but notice no one seemed interested in his opinion. But Ziva would approve of salad for a meal, so he'd go along.

"Let's earn it," she challenged. "Up the stairs."

Tim and Tony exchanged long suffering looks and headed after her. Thankfully that was the end of their run and they used the walk back to Adriana's apartment as a cool down. Feeling dismissed when he was voluntold to go get the food, Tony shot his friend a snarky, "Behave yourself, you're on duty," when Adriana's announcement about taking a shower seemed very much aimed at the junior agent.

Following protocol, McGee locked the front door and checked the windows, then reluctantly responded to Adriana's call for help. He found her standing on the ledge of the bathtub trying to reach the light fixture. "I flipped a switch and the bulb popped." It seemed innocent enough, but he flicked the switch a couple times just to be sure. She got too close for comfort after elaborating that she couldn't shower in the dark, and leaned in as if to kiss him. Tim took a step back.

"Look, Adriana, you're a really attractive girl and I'm flattered. But we can't."

She almost pouted. "The other agent said you didn't have a girlfriend."

He wasn't going to share the intricacies of his relationship to Abby with someone he didn't know. "Where's the stepladder?"

Looking disappointed, Adriana pointed. "In the closet." He retrieved it and she left the room. "I've got some spare bulbs in the kitchen."

There was a knock on the door while he unscrewed the fixture and Adriana assumed it was Tony. "I'll get it."

About two seconds later McGee realized that was a really bad idea and ran out. "No!" He was in time to see two masked guys drag her back through the door, one with a gun to her head and the other pointing at him. He had no choice but to watch them leave, but the moment the door closed he grabbed his phone and dialed Tony as he rushed downstairs.

McGee's proclamation that Adriana had been kidnapped caught Tony off guard, then he heard the squeal of tires and grabbed his gun. He couldn't get a shot off but saw Adriana in the backseat. He and Tim made for their car and gave chase but luck was not on their side. A girl on a bike rode right in front of him and Tony desperately swerved to miss her. "Out of the way!" The biker got away but they ran right over a fire hydrant and a geyser of water gushed up out of the ground, leaving the two soaked men to watch their quarry get away.

**NCIS**

It took all Ziva had not to jump out of the van and race to her husband, sitting on the back of an ambulance being looked at by a paramedic. But luckily Gibbs pulled McGee off to the side demanding, "What happened?!" and leaving her free to slowly approach her partner. He took the gauze off and waved the man away, meeting his wife's almost frantic gaze. "Not as bad as it looks Zi."

"I will be the judge of that," she said softly, moving his hand slightly to see the cut.

"I'll let you kiss it better later," Tony offered.

"That will not be the only thing I kiss," Ziva assured him. "Are you alright?"

He sighed heavily. "Not sure about my career, but physically I'll live."

"Whatever comes, we will face it together," Ziva promised, then Gibbs barked, "Ziva, stop wasting time and grab the crime scene kits."

Tony waited until Gibbs looked away before squeezing her hand. "Later."

"I love you," she whispered, turning to follow orders.

A big black SUV showed up with lights and sirens running. Director Vance got out, angry and on a mission. Ziva, gathering supplies in the back of the van, looked over her shoulder to see him stalking towards Gibbs. McGee continued looking miserable in his wet clothes and Tony made a face reflecting a definite 'we are screwed' feeling. Gibbs met the director between the ambulance and MCRT van. "The State Department's breathing down my neck. I'm due in MTAC in fifteen minutes to brief the White House."

Tony got up and approached both men. "Sir-"

"Shut up DiNozzo," Vance snapped. He looked at Ziva. "Agent David, put that equipment back in the truck. This is an FBI crime scene now." Gibbs appeared to be staying calm to counter Director Vance's vehement reaction, but it wasn't working very well. "If this isn't rectified in forty-eight hours," he pointed at the guys, "I want DiNozzo and McGee's badges on my desk." Then he turned around and walked back to the SUV.

Ziva watched him go and looked to Gibbs, already opening her mouth to argue the ultimatum. But Tony, back in the ambulance and holding a clean piece of gauze to his cut, shook his head subtly at her. _This is not the time Zi_, he thought.

Gibbs wasn't done with their boss yet and stepped forward. "Does Gorgova know?"

"His embassy's been notified by the kidnappers already. They threatened to kill his daughter if he signs that treaty. The ceremony's been put on hold. This couldn't have come at a worse time."

As soon as the director was gone McGee approached Gibbs. "Boss, this is all my fault. I take responsibility for what happened here. You'll have my resignation by the end of the day."

"Did you break protocol McGee?"

McGee frowned at him. "No, but-"

"I'm responsible," Gibbs interrupted, pointing at his chest. "You are part of a team." He jabbed a finger at Tim, then back at himself, forcefully making his point. "You are part of my team. And I'm sure as heck not turning in my badge!"

Tony joined them, still holding the gauze. "FBI is here."

"Alright, there's work to be done." He looked between them. "Both of you witnessed the kidnapping. You cooperate. And when they are done with you, you get your butts back to the Navy Yard."

Tim and Tony walked to the black cars that just pulled in. Tony stopped briefly, putting his hand on McGee's shoulder. "You didn't have to do that. We're both responsible. But thanks." He glanced back to their boss and by extension Ziva, momentarily catching the latter's eye. "Gibbs'll have our backs."

McGee let out a breath. "I sure hope so."

**NCIS**

While waiting to be interviewed Tony and McGee were both busy sending texts to relieve the anxiety of their girls, but then the door burst open and a particularly disgruntled agent strode in. "This isn't summer camp ladies. You get these back when I'm through with you."

Tony just managed to hit send before his phone was confiscated, so the text Ziva got wasn't even finished. _They're taking our phones. Don't worry. I lo-_. Abby's at least included a full sentence, but she was just as unimpressed as Ziva that the guys were being treated like common criminals. So much so that she called her friend down to the lab so they could commiserate about the situation. Ziva arrived shortly, looking just as worried as Abby felt.

Abby scurried over to offer a hug. "They're going to be fine Ziva."

She handed the forensic scientist a small cup of Caf-Pow. "This was all I had time for."

"You're so sweet!" Abby gleefully took the caffeinated drink and sucked on the straw. "I asked Ducky to make some tea. He's going to send it up with Jimmy."

"Thank you." Ziva started pacing back and forth across the lab, flicking her knife opened and closed, opened and closed. It made Abby nervous that she was so distractedly playing with the weapon and she wondered if there was a safe way to disarm an ex-Israeli assassin without ending up needing medical attention. Finally Ziva stopped, gritting her teeth as she remembered Director Vance's parting shot. "He wants to take their badges Abby!"

"What?" Her mouth fell open. "No!"

"That's what I was thinking! How can he blame them? This could have happened to anyone!"

"Well, technically yes, but-" Abby began only to have Ziva cut her off.

"The last time Tony and I botched a protection detail we were not fired!"

_No_, Abby thought,_ but the team did get split up and we didn't see each other for four months_. Now didn't seem to be the right time to mention the previous outcome.

"It's not fair!" Ziva complained, then sidetracked into a full on Hebrew rant that may or may not have been directed at the man occupying the top floor office upstairs. Thankfully neither he, nor Abby, understood what she was saying.

Jimmy arrived with tea midway through Ziva's harangue and stood stock still for a moment, staring. Then he set the pot down on the nearest open space, sputtered through an excuse, and hurried away like someone was after him. The probationary agent did not register any of this, still lost in her own head. Eventually Abby got in her way with a steaming mug of tea. "Ziva, I need you to breathe."

Knocked off kilter, Ziva stopped and sank onto a stool, anger induced energy draining way. She accepted the cup and sighed. "Are you not upset about this too?"

"Of course I am!" Abby assured her. "I just have a different way of dealing with it."

Ziva cocked her head to the side. "How?"

Abby chuckled. "Well, I know this Chinese chant." She continued her explanation and Ziva smiled faintly. Only Abby...but sometimes she was just the distraction they all needed.

**NCIS**

A run with Meira that became so intense even her exercise loving dog protested told Ziva she needed more of an outlet for her stress and outrage, so she jumped in the car and headed for Ops. She'd been hard at the punching bag for ten minutes when Duke noticed, her aggression hadn't been decreased in the least. Pulling Derek aside when he finished with his client, Duke nodded towards Ziva. "I've seen her like this before. She needs some real competition. In this frame of mind she'd pulverize the other guys."

Derek studied her body language. "Do you think she is wrestling demons tonight?" He only knew as much of the desert story as Ziva had shared with him, but enough to realize memories still popped up at unwelcome times and had to be dealt with.

Duke shook his head. "Not this time. But she's pretty ticked at someone. If I let you at her, promise you won't hold back. She'll know if you're taking it easy and that'll only make things worse."

"I have been looking forward to experiencing her skills at full peak, this will be a very interesting session. In the ring?"

Duke considered it. "Use the old one in the back. I don't think an audience is what she needs right now."

Derek headed that way and Duke went to Ziva, making sure to catch her eye rather than approaching unannounced and risking injury. "Give the bag a rest David."

She scowled. "I'm not done yet."

"You are with this." Ziva opened her mouth to protest and he cut her off. "Derek's waiting. Sparring will be more useful tonight than battling an invisible enemy."

Considering his solution, she ditched the gloves and followed him down a hall, heading into the room indicated. "Don't hold back," Duke warned. "Give it all you've got. He can take it."

What came next was a fight of epic proportions. On one hand was Derek - calm, collected, confident. On the other Ziva - a whirling dervish of pent up fury, so much so that after awhile Duke began to suspect she'd moved beyond her anger at a specific person and was instead releasing emotion that belonged to experiences much deeper than whatever brought her to the gym today. Derek was careful not to hurt Ziva or land hits with more force than necessary, but between flips, flying limbs, and an incredible level of skill between them both participants ended up with their fair share of bruises.

Finally Ziva, exhausted, backed away from her opponent. Loathe to be the one to concede, she nevertheless swallowed her pride and held out a hand. "I am impressed Derek. Well done."

Taking a moment to catch his breath himself, Derek smiled at her, shaking the offered hand warmly. "And you Ziva. A wonder of nature you are. Even so many years removed from your training you do a remarkable job. I would be happy to train with you anytime."

She dipped her head. "Thank you. It makes my husband nervous, but I would enjoy the chance to sharpen my skills." At the mention of Tony her face shadowed and she looked down, gathering her composure before speaking. "If you'll excuse me."

Ziva got her things and quickly escaped the gym before Duke could press her for details. A long, very hot shower was in order at home and aside from a couple warmed up cookies and a few bites of egg bake right out of the pan, she ate nothing else, choosing instead to brush her teeth and fall into bed, taking the comfort of cuddling Moses to her chest with her husband absent from their bed for a second night. Falling asleep was easy, but peaceful rest was not to be had. She spent all night tossing and turning, remembering bits of troubled dreams and wondering what was happening to her husband while she was safe at home.

**NCIS**

Despite the confidence he projected to Abby, Gibbs wasn't feeling much of it by the time he made it home that night. He sank onto the couch in the dark and found himself listening to the phone ring when he couldn't even remember dialing. Celeste picked up with a smile in her voice. "Didn't I just talk to you the other day?" Silence reigned on the line and her brow furrowed. "Jethro?"

The softer tone, like she knew something was bothering him, loosened Gibbs' tongue. "I don't want to lose them Les."

Now she was concerned. "Lose who?"

He sighed. "Tim and Tony."

They'd spoken two days ago and he hadn't mentioned anything like this, so whatever it was had to be recent. "Is that a possibility?" she ventured, feeling it out.

Gibbs leaned his head back, dragging a hand down his face. "We had a situation today. Director's got his panties in a twist about something, can't figure what. My guys got in the way."

"I thought you and Leon were getting along."

"We were. Certainly better after his hospital stay than before. But...I don't know Les. Something's going on and he won't read me in. You think I have a short temper? I've got nothing on our director these days."

"It doesn't seem to me that anyone on your team would stand for a forced resignation. Where are the people who fight injustice every step of the way? Where is the man who spent four months working to get his team back after the last catastrophe? Or the man who went to the desert to get revenge for a daughter?" Celeste was goading him, but she knew from experience that once that fire was lit nothing but success would extinguish it.

"Guess he's still here," Gibbs acquiesced, knowing she would just keep going if he ignored her. "Wish I knew what to expect tomorrow though."

She pet her dog in long, slow strokes and decided on a distraction. "Lexie says you give better belly rubs."

He chuckled. Lexie preferring him over her mistress was a long standing joke between them, ever since the first meeting when the timid dog warmed right up to him and practically purred every time he touched her. "Tell her to come visit sometime and I'll see what I can do."

Letting the comment slide, because face to face was something they were working towards but not ready for yet, Celeste went back to the topic at hand. "Are Tim and Tony alright?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Don't know. FBI's had them for hours. Haven't heard a peep."

"Is Fornell running the investigation?" Usually he tried to make that the case when something involved NCIS personnel.

"I wish. The higher ups don't always appreciate NCIS getting what appears to be special treatment, and given the impression Tony left the last time the FBI investigated him there isn't a lot of love lost for my team on that side of the alphabet soup."

There didn't seem to be a positive aspect to the situation and Celeste worried her bottom lip. "What can I do Jethro?"

He closed his eyes. "Probably nothing. But sometimes a man just needs to have a drink with his best friend."

She smiled slightly. "Is this the kind of drink that comes in a mug, or in a jar that used to hold nuts and bolts?"

Gibbs debated the options, but knew she wouldn't likely indulge in a glass of wine when he was upset. She always had tried to steer him towards non-alcoholic drinks when his mood was already low. He wished he'd appreciated then that she was just looking out for him. "I'll turn the coffee on."

"Then I'll boil the kettle." What was heard on their respective ends of the phone for the next couple minutes were the sounds of drink preparations, then Celeste asked as she opened the cupboard to find a mug, "Would it do any good if I told you a story?"

He almost scoffed, but she was genuinely trying to help. "This one of your new projects?"

"No actually. I stopped by the library today to drop off a couple videos I rented and ended up sitting in on the story circle. I enjoyed it so much that I spent about an hour reminiscing on and reading some of my favourite children's books. There's one about a dragon that I think might interest you. Do you mind?"

The sound of her voice was the main reason he called, but he didn't want to seem too eager to keep her on the line. "Might as well. Didn't have any other plans."

"Get comfortable then," his ex-wife suggested. "And I'll do my best to keep you entertained."

So he did as he was told and though he'd never admit it if asked, that night Gibbs fell asleep listening to the voice of a woman he was beginning to fall for all over again.

**NCIS**

**Thursday February 10**

After a lousy night's sleep and an extremely unproductive morning, with her attention split between work and a missing spouse, Ziva was discreetly overjoyed to see Tony and McGee walk into the office before lunch. Her husband spared her a brief glance before going to his desk like Tim, where they both stowed their guns. Tony scanned his desktop, opened both bottom drawers of his desk, and scowled. "Ah! A bad day just got worse. Where's my stapler?" He turned accusing eyes on McGee.

Tim gave an exasperated sigh. "Tony, I didn't take it. I've spent the last eighteen hours in a small room with you, remember?"

"This time," Tony clarified regarding the theft. It didn't take a genius to figure out that they were not in the greatest of moods. For appearance sake, the senior field agent shifted his gaze to his partner.

Ziva held up both hands. "Don't look at me."

_That's all I want to do right now, look at you_, he thought. _Well, actually, that's not all I want to do. But it would be a good start_.

As if she could read his thoughts, Ziva smiled slightly, but Gibbs walked in, leaving them no time to get any more personal.

"How'd it go at the Bureau?"

"Well, they kept us there last night and most of this morning," Tony shared. That fact ticked him off even more than anything else because he could've really used the stress release of being with his wife and her calming touch last night, but denied that his attitude was only getting worse. "Which means that we've gone two nights without having any sleep."

McGee proceeded to update the team on what they'd learned - the kidnappers' car had been found, no prints, and nothing useful from forensics. Abby emailed Ziva the bio on the guy who built the bomb that killed their Marine in Belgravia and Gibbs reported that he was being brought to NCIS. When no other information was forthcoming, Tim spoke for the rest of them when he asked, "Boss, is there something we should be doing?"

Acting casual, Gibbs shrugged. "By now the FBI has finished processing Adriana's apartment. I wonder if they missed anything."

All three agents in the bullpen exchanged glances as he left, then Tony took action. "Campfire." McGee and Ziva joined him in the middle of the room. "What does he mean?"

"Was he suggesting what I think he was?" McGee inquired.

Ziva crossed her arms and tilted her head, at which point her husband noticed for the first time that she'd straightened her hair this morning, the first time in a long time. Not that it didn't look gorgeous as always, but he was concerned that the situation bothered her so much she was falling back into old habits. "That would be a very bold move."

Tony grinned. "I like it." He returned to his desk, pulled out the top drawer, upended the contents on the surface, ripped a manila envelope off the bottom and stored it in his jacket with absolutely no explanation. They grabbed their things and headed out, but before they made it to the elevator Tony paused, tossing the car keys to McGee. "Eighteen hours, better hit the head before we do any breaking and entering. I'll meet you guys downstairs."

Ziva understood his hidden message and nodded slightly, while McGee was just glad for an extra moment to go see Abby, because if the thirty text messages on his phone were any indication, she was freaking out.

In their camera blindspot at the very bottom of the stairs, Tony engulfed his wife in a fierce embrace. "I'm sorry you had to spend last night alone Zi." She tensed in his hold and he pulled back in enough time to see the wince she tried to hide. "What's wrong?"

Ziva shook her head. "Nothing, really."

He sighed. "Nothing is never nothing with you. Tell me."

She rolled her shoulders. "I may have gone a bit hard at Ops last night because I was angry at the situation."

His eyebrows rose. "Sparring?" Ziva nodded and Tony started to lift her shirt, but she pushed his hands away.

"You can inspect the damage later, it is my turn to give some TLB."

"TLC," he murmured, totally distracted when her hands framed his face, gently bringing it down to her level so soft lips could caress the small bandage near his hairline.

She took her time, drifting light kisses down his forehead, nose, cheek before finally getting to his lips for one both long and slow. "Did that help?" Ziva asked expectantly.

Tony held her waist carefully and swallowed hard. "Yeah. Yeah, I think that about does it."

Regret pooled in her eyes. "We have to meet McGee."

He captured her mouth again, really not ready for their time to be up yet. "Okay," he conceded when her breath had been sufficiently stolen. "But I want to pick up right where we left off when we get home."

Ziva rose up on tiptoes to brush her lips over his one last time. "It is a deal."

Once they arrived at the scene McGee was the first one to voice an objection. "Look, even if Ziva picks the lock we can't go in there."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Take a chill pill Probie. I mean, what's the worst they can do to us? They're already gonna take our badges." The thin line Ziva's lips were pressed into indicated she didn't like hearing that again.

"They can arrest us for tampering with a crime scene."

Tony remembered a break in at the police impound lot and trying to outrace some very scary guard dogs. "Wouldn't be the first time."

"I'm sure there's an FBI seal on the door," Ziva pointed out. "We cannot break it."

He chuckled. "No problemo." He broke out the envelope and started going through it. "Metro PD, ATF, here we go - FBI. I knew this would come in handy one day."

McGee sounded scared. "Where did you get that?!"

"Remember that joint crime scene we worked with Fornell? Boarding house downtown?"

"Yes."

Tony shrugged. "One of his guys left this laying around, very sloppy." He was way too pleased about that and continued in a conspiratorial tone, "It'll be like we were never here."

Ziva kept watch while he entered and McGee looked at her, sounding resigned to their fate. "We are so screwed."

Upstairs Ziva scanned the apartment. "We don't even know what we're looking for."

"We're just sniffing around, seeing what we see," her partner answered. Checking his reflection in the toaster, Tony took off the bandage and grimaced. "That's gonna leave a scar."

"It'll give you some character." They shared a look and she decided he would only get more handsome as the years passed and he accumulated souvenirs from the job.

McGee came out of the bathroom announcing he'd made a discovery - something had been jammed in one of the sockets to short the lights. Tony remembered changing in there before they went running, so the lights were working then. And Adriana was the only other person who used the bathroom. With that new information Tony and Ziva immediately started looking around while McGee tried to explain away the logical conclusion, that she'd been in on her own kidnapping. "How would she know exactly when the kidnappers would come?"

Tony lifted the lid off the toilet tank. "She signaled them."

"How? She never left the bathroom."

Referencing a Godfather movie, Tony fished a cell phone out of the water. McGee's arguments faded into the air, it was impossible to argue with the obvious.

**NCIS**

Before going back into the NCIS building, all three agents stopped to get coffee at the nearest shop. McGee headed back first, rather put out by what they'd learned. Taking advantage of being alone, Tony and Ziva followed slowly and grabbed a moment together in the elevator. Ziva produced another bandage and put it gently on his cut. "This needs to be kept clean to avoid infection."

He shot her a quizzical glance. "How did you know to have an extra one of those?"

She smiled fondly and touched his face. "I have learned to be prepared for anything when I am around you." Little more than an hour had passed since their last interlude, but that didn't stop her from kissing him again and sighing against his skin. "I missed you last night."

Tony closed her in his arms. "All I wanted was to be at home."

Ziva slid her hands up his chest. "I was so worried ahava. I barely slept a blink."

He chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. "You barely slept a wink," he corrected in a loving tone, so relieved to hold her. "I promise we'll catch up on that missed rest as soon as this is all over."

She swallowed. "I just want to lay on the couch with you until we fall asleep."

Tony glided his fingers through her hair. "I think that can be arranged." He pulled back a bit and studied the sleek locks. "Your hair looks really great, but I am curious about the style. It hasn't been straight since..." He trailed off, remembering the first day she stepped foot back in NCIS after Somalia.

Ziva lifted one shoulder and let it drop. "I was frustrated and upset. Only you know this is one way I express it."

His mouth grazed her ear. "I like knowing you so deeply."

She indulged in another kiss, fingers drifting over his weary face. "I am concerned about your lack of sleep."

He sipped the strong sugared coffee in his hand. "I may need a couple more of these to get through the day, but then I'm all yours and I vow to follow Doctor David's rules to the letter."

"I will hold you to that," she whispered, setting the car back in motion.

Finding out Adriana's professor was involved with the bombing in Belgravia and knowing the kidnapping was a hoax, they wondered if Adriana might be with Carl Fleming somewhere. McGee tracked his cell phone and they all sprang into action, grabbing coats and weapons. Arriving in an alley between some warehouses the team found Fleming's car which Tony and McGee checked while Gibbs and Ziva investigated the surrounding buildings. A mask like what the kidnappers wore was stashed in the glovebox, but the bigger surprise was Professor Fleming, executed and left in the trunk.

"Did not expect that," Tony commented, glancing up a flight of stairs where his partner leaned on the railing to observe. She looked so great in that blue coat with her hair down, all he could think was 'wow'. He slid his phone out of his pocket and surreptitiously snapped a quick photo, then got back to business - namely where was Adriana?

The FBI showed up on scene shortly thereafter, not pleased to find NCIS somewhere they shouldn't be. McGee and Ziva had searched door to door and found nothing, but the police would keep looking. Then Gibbs' phone rang and it was Vance, updating them that the Belgravian embassy had received a ransom demand. And Tony seemed a bit too pleased to share that, "I think we made the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list."

"I did not realize that was a goal we were shooting for," Ziva replied dryly. "Besides, we were doing our jobs."

He glanced over his shoulder. "I don't think they see it that way."

With the news that the kidnapping objective had changed from political to cash related, the team returned to NCIS and Gibbs joined Vance in MTAC. It didn't go well, they were ordered to keep out of the situation, and Gibbs could tell Leon was holding out on him. Meanwhile in the lab McGee and Abby found out that Adriana had texted the boy from her study group, Judd, with one word - _Now_ \- less than a minute before she was 'kidnapped'. And just like that they were on their way to his place of residence without even a second thought to 'staying out of it.'

It was the same old story - they busted down the door, he ran, they caught him, bad guy arrested, end of story. Ziva and McGee freed the girl. "We know you were involved."

Adriana looked up at them. "I never meant for this to happen. I just wanted to stop my father from signing the treaty."

"Well," McGee shared as they took her into custody, "you know what they say about best laid plans."

**NCIS**

Since Cassie had survived coffee with her dad and Claire the other day, they were now moving onto the second step - their first family dinner since Christmas. And she'd already begun to realize how silly her reluctance to accept Claire had been. She was a very nice woman when Cassie wasn't looking at her as the enemy and thankfully didn't seem to hold any of Cassie's behaviour against her. The children were overjoyed to learn after school that they were going to Grampa's for dinner and when the door opened they flung themselves at Matthew.

"Grampa!"

He wrapped his arms around both of them, holding on tight, almost having to blink back tears. "How're my favourite grandkids? Gosh it's been quiet around here without you."

McKenna looked up at him. "Are you used to being married yet Grampa?"

Matthew chuckled and glanced at his daughter for clarification, but Mark stepped in to explain. "We told them the routine might have to be a little different for awhile because we wanted to let you and Claire get used to being married for awhile before going back to the way things were."

He nodded and focused back on the kids. "I don't know if I'm really used to being married yet Miss Ken, but it sure is nice to have Claire around. Do you know she makes the best apple crisp? In fact, she may have made it for you guys to have tonight."

Their eyes lit up and McKenna and Alec approached Claire a little shyly for their hugs. "Hi Gramma," McKenna smiled.

Claire met her husband's eyes in awe at hearing that word again and folded the little girl in a gentle embrace before moving to her brother. "I'm so glad you all could come."

Though she'd usually just walk into her father's place with no hesitation, this time Cassie waited for Claire to lead the way and held out the salad she'd brought. "Can I help with anything?"

Claire took the bowl and smiled. "Just find yourself a seat honey. I've been keeping your dad busy today, so everything's ready."

Another woman in her mom's kitchen gave her a pause, but it wasn't really Hannah's kitchen anymore. It seemed that since the wedding Matthew and Claire had been hard at work, because so much had changed on the main floor that she barely recognized the place. The walls bore different colours of paint, the furniture had all been rearranged and some of it replaced, new art hung where familiar frames had been, and the old kitchen had been given a total makeover. It was a lot to take in.

Matthew caught her studying everything and joined her in the doorway. "Looks kinda different, huh?"

She swallowed and nodded. "Definitely not like the house I grew up in."

He took her hand. "The change was a long time coming Precious."

"I know." After her mom's death they hadn't been able to bring themselves to change any of it, but fifteen years later was long overdue for some updates. Cassie let out a breath. "I think it's better this way."

"Yeah?"

She nodded. "Now it doesn't feel as much like Claire is invading Mom's space, as she is making a home here." One eyebrow arched. "You certainly got it done in a hurry."

Matthew chuckled. "You'd be surprised what can be accomplished with contractors paid extra if everything is finished by a certain deadline." Wealthy in his own right Cassie's dad had never flaunted that money, though as he'd just said - it certainly came in handy sometimes.

Dinner was pleasant and delicious - ham, scalloped potatoes, peas, turnip, and of course Claire's apple crisp for dessert - and afterwards Cassie and Claire were alone in the kitchen cleaning up while Mark and Matthew played with the kids in the basement designed just for them. "So," Claire ventured slowly, "what do you think about Friday nights now? Your father would so love to have the children come again."

Cassie took the time to meticulously dry a dish before answering. Rather than what could've been said 'Don't tell me about my father! I think I know him a little bit better than you.', she chose the better option. "I think maybe one more week of coffee and dinner, and then...and then you guys can have them on weekends again."

Claire almost reached out and squeezed her stepdaughter's hand in thanks, but refrained because the last thing she wanted was the make the young woman any more uncomfortable than she already was. She settled for a quiet, "Thank you," instead.

Because tomorrow was a school day they had to leave as soon as the kitchen and dining room were put back together, but as the kids were getting their coats on and Mark was chatting with Claire, Matthew pulled his daughter aside. "I have a favour to ask Mattie." She gave him an open expression and waited. "Claire would like to take piano lessons and I told her I know an excellent teacher. She played when she was a girl but got away from it and wants to try again. Can you consider taking her on as a student? We'd pay the same as anyone else."

Cassie scrunched her nose. "I never make family pay Dad." She thought about being alone in her house with Claire for the length of time lessons could take and wasn't sure if that was a good idea. But if God was giving her a way to get to know the woman who had married her father and would be part of their family for the next few decades, she could hardly refuse. "Give me a couple weeks," she said at last, "by then I'll be able to work out a space in my teaching schedule." And give herself a little more time to get used to the idea.

"Fair enough. I won't even bring it up with her again until you let me know." He kissed her forehead. "I love you Mattie."

Her arms went around his waist. "I love you too Dad." She didn't make the same gesture to Claire but smiled warmly and thanked her for a lovely meal.

Alec and McKenna were in bed by the time Mark got a chance to check in with his wife later that evening. "Well?"

Cassie leaned into him. "It was nice," she admitted. "And the kids were so happy to be there. I would be the worst mother in the world if I tried to keep them away from that."

He knew she was still working through all of this in her heart and cradled her close. "And Claire?"

"Not the shrew I was making her out to be, that's for sure." She tilted her head to look up at her husband. "I told her another week of dinner and coffee and the kids could go back."

Mark didn't want to ask if she was sure and give her a chance to take it back. "I think that sounds fair." He stared seriously into her eyes. "Are you okay, with the changes?" He not only meant Claire, but the house as well.

"I really like what they've done with the house, it's practically a new place." She shook her head. "It stayed the way Mom left it for too long. As for the rest..." One shoulder shrugged. "Nothing but time will make me get used to it."

He kissed her slowly. "I'll be here every step of the way."

Cassie smiled softly. "Between you and God, that's what will make this possible." His support meant more than he would ever know.

**NCIS**

While Tony was in the shower later that night, Ziva settled in the office chair with the green journal he had gifted her with the previous Hanukkah - it had been left on her desk one of the holiday nights, wrapped in a ribbon, with a dried flower tucked in the knot. Even now, over a year later, the romantic gesture made her smile. She had saved it until her first journal, the thick black one she began the night of her brother's death, was completely full.

It was strange to think that it took nearly five years before that happened, but she hadn't felt like there was much in her life that bore recording until she and Tony started more time together the next winter. Then Gibbs left and they spent the summer dating - of which she hadn't wanted to forget a moment - and became husband and wife. Sometimes when the Jeanne assignment was weighing heavily on her heart she would write about that, and definitely the moment they became free of it all she felt the need to share. In their second year of marriage they talked about kids, told Aunt Nettie their secret, and she met his frat brothers.

She wrote nothing during the time of her return to Mossad because the journal did not make that trip with her. If it had fallen into the wrong hands all would have been lost. But once home again she did pour out bits of that lonely summer as well as her amazement at how Tony had handled the Issac situation. It was a good way to process everything that happened. Very little was shared about the next year, though a few entries glimpsed her frustration about the Michael/Tony issue and trying to figure out what was behind the whole mess. She left the journal in its place on the bookshelf when they went to Israel for the investigation into Michael's death, so where those months should have been there was only a large gap in the timeline. However, very soon after her return home pages and pages and pages of the empty half of the journal were filled with her healing, even into the first new year mere months since her rescue.

That first leather bound book ended with the entry she'd told Tony about a couple weeks ago, and she'd begun the green journal with an entry about Paris - not the city or the food or the sightseeing, but about the night she resolved that intimacy would be good for them again, somehow, and the tenderness her husband showed as they had their first successful lovemaking session since she'd been ready to try. A soft smile played over her lips as she reminisced on those moments almost exactly a year ago now, loving the beautiful note that preceded a year dedicated to them finding each other again.

Ziva had been so lost in thought she didn't notice her husband standing in the doorway and started when he moved inside to take up residence on the footstool in front of her. He placed a hand on her leg. "What's that look for?"

She turned the journal around to show him. The entry was one of very few that she'd done in Hebrew and then re-written on the next pages in English, in case her husband ever flipped through the book sometime. "Do you remember what happened on February ninth last year?"

Tony took the book from her, scanning the entry, his smile growing as he placed what she was talking about. He looked up. "Kinda hard to forget."

"That is one of my favourite moments."

He stood and kissed her, shifting his wife so he could have the chair and sit with her in his lap. "Mine too." As he closed the journal and set it back on the shelf, he noted the green book was coming up on the final few handfuls of pages already - she'd used it up quite a bit faster than the last. But then, there'd been an awful lot going on for them in the last year between learning about her time in Somalia, their trip to Philadelphia, painful practice culminating in experiencing the joy of making love again without any hitches, the five year anniversary of Kate and Ari's deaths as well as their partnership, the conclusion of their therapy sessions with Dr. Maitland, intimacy wrinkles here and there, Ziva's citizenship test and the consequential missing of her ceremony by him, not to mention a summer spent on protection detail because of Paloma.

Their separation because of Miami and the horrendous week of nightmares that followed. Her relapse because of Ducky's examination was covered after the fact when her mind was clear again, and for awhile things were good until his dad and her dad arrived to mess all that up. Thanksgiving in Maryland and her struggle to rise above those challenges. December and their amazing Christmas vacation. New Year's resolutions, her gift to Tony, their unpleasant psych evaluations, and finally her change of nickname which brought them to now. He'd have to keep a close eye on her progress and pick up another journal to replace this one when it was full. His goal was to make sure she always had a way available to express whatever was in her heart that needed an outlet.

They didn't feel the need to say anything right away, then Ziva started toying with his chain. "McGee finally asked about my anniversary ring." She twisted it around and chuckled. "He has been awfully curious the last couple days, more insistent to know what is going on with Rob than usual. I do not know what has made him so bold all of a sudden."

Tony frowned. "What did you tell him?"

She shrugged. "Much of what I always say - that it was given to me by an old friend. And about Rob I make everything vague, no absolutes so that I am not lying."

"I'm not sure how long we can keep this up," he commented, folding his fingers between hers. "They're going to want more details at some point."

Ziva's mouth found his fleetingly. "Then we will cross that mountain when we come to it."

Tony squinted. "I know what you're getting at, but you missed that one. Fraulein Maria may climb every mountain, around here we cross bridges." The next kiss made him forget anything else he wanted to say on the subject and he grinned. "Or we could just do that."

She smirked. "I believe someone wanted to inspect my bruises."

"And you promised to kiss more than just my head. Shall we, Mrs. DiNozzo?"

Her answer did not involve words and their warm up was a lot longer tonight than usual, as Tony made a point to seek out each new bruise from her sparring session with Derek and kiss them better and Ziva made good on her promise as well, gently removing the bandage from his cut so it could air out overnight and moving on from there. Lovemaking was slow and tender, after which Ziva took a shower and put on cozy pyjamas. Tony insisted dessert was needed before bed, and his idea of the perfect comfort food this time was warm crumbled chocolate chip cookies on top of ice cream. It was delicious and they fed spoonfuls to each other while something happy played on TV. When it was over they got comfortable laying down on the couch, falling asleep together just as she'd wanted earlier. It was, on the whole, a fantastic way to mark the end of two very stressful days.

**NCIS**

**Friday February 11**

The next morning Gibbs informed his team that the treaty had been signed and Adriana was on her way home with her father. Ziva had a problem with that. "Wait. So she cooperates in her own kidnapping and she gets off with no consequences?"

Gibbs gave a small smile. "Oh, I have no doubt there will be consequences, just not from us. That's the beauty of diplomatic immunity."

Ziva muttered something in Hebrew and Tony nodded slightly from his side of the bullpen, having caught her meaning. It didn't seem fair at all. He heard something in the breakroom and hoped it was the vending machine restocking people, so he left to take a look. They'd been out of his favourite candy bar for a couple weeks now.

As she was sitting behind his desk, McGee turned to look at her. "What did I miss? I mean, do you think she was really into me or was that just part of an act?"

Not sure she had a good answer, it didn't really bother her that Gibbs tasked her to go answer Tony's phone instead. She flashed him an apologetic smile and crossed the bullpen to pick up the receiver, announcing in a sultry voice just for fun, "Special Agent DiNozzo's desk." The next instant there was a change of tone to her regular voice as she replied, "Oh, okay. I'll tell him Abby."

Tony returned with his coveted treat in hand and playfully scolded her. "Get off my phone. Tell me what?"

Ziva smiled a bit smugly while still feeling sympathy for what her husband likely couldn't get out of this time. "Abby's on her way up with a Red Cross nurse."

He made a face and quickly swivelled around for his gun, almost in a panic. "Ah, Boss, I forgot. I got this dentist appointment. Also I've got to validate my new parking ID." He was grabbing his bag and coat, trying to escape before they arrived but he had no hope of making it because just then Abby appeared at his desk.

"Tony." Wincing, he straightened slowly to find a really pretty young nurse beside their forensic scientist. "I want you to meet Samantha."

Samantha smiled, looking very sweet and down to earth. "Hi Tony."

Tony couldn't help but smile back. "Hi." Then he remembered his wife was standing right behind him and swallowed hard.

"Samantha's specialty," Abby continued, "is working with people like you who suffer from trypanophobia."

"The fear of needles," Samantha supplied. "If you wanna give blood, I'd like to try to help you."

It was hard not to react to her sincerity, but even so Tony backed up a step. "Uh yeah, okay, sure. I guess I could give it a try. But..." he glanced back at his partner and quirked one of his famous half-grins, "only if Ziva holds my hand."

She was not prepared for that. Even though he said it in a teasing fashion, she worried it might catch someone's attention. Then she saw the real plea disguised in his eyes and realized he needed her there with him. "Well..." she hesitated for the others' benefit.

Abby folded her hands together. "Please Ziva? He's the only one on Team Gibbs who hasn't participated."

Ziva gave up with a shrug of her shoulders. "Okay. But only because it is for a good cause."

The forensic scientist threw her arms around Ziva. "Thank you!" Abby carefully used Tony's distractedness to her advantage and returned his stapler unnoticed, then tugged his sleeve towards the elevator while Ziva followed. She glanced back and realized Gibbs seemed more amused than anything, so maybe her tagging along didn't look suspicious at all. If that was the case, it was one more thing they wouldn't have to come up with an explanation for later.

_Replies:_

_Guest - Thank you :) I'm glad you like it. It is always fun to just tweak situations and dialogue a wee bit to make it fit into the story. Yes, we're going completely AU after the explosion at the end of S9 and into my own spin-off of the aftermath. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Melissa - thank you for the condolences and I'm sorry for your loss as well. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. haha...I know I've said this before, but so many readers just adore Tony in this series, I think we'd all like to find someone like him ;) The sticky note thing was a bit impromptu but people seemed to like it and it was very cute of Z. Thanks for reviewing, it means a lot! ~Aliyah :)_

_Kristen - Thanks, I'm glad to hear it and that's nice of you to say. I can't always promise updates will be this prompt, but I'll do my best! Thanks for reviewing ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - me too. I think an honest father/daughter conversation was due for them. He was honest and she respected him enough to listen. Cassie will get there, but just like in real life these things take time. It was nice to add some stuff about Darien's life in there (though I almost missed getting that scene in at the right time, thank God for the reminder). He's so quiet we don't always hear that much from him. Z did a really good job being sweet in this one, it's nice to see her giving back to Tony so much more now. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for reviewing! I always appreciate the time you guys take to share your thoughts :) ~Aliyah_


	40. 8x16 Kill Screen 1

**Friday February 11 continued**

Cassie let herself into Flash shortly before school let out and wandered through the front part of the building and back to Adrian's office. Expecting him to have heard the bell and her footsteps, she was surprised to find him sitting at his desk, oblivious to everything but the small picture album in his hands. Smiling softly, she rapped her knuckles on the doorframe. "Knock, knock."

Adrian jumped a foot, spinning around guiltily like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't. A grin of relief spread across his face when he saw her. "Cass."

"Hey picture man, whatcha got there?"

Flipping the album closed, he shrugged. "Oh, you know, the usual." He shoved his hands in his pocket. "To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from my beautiful sister?"

Cassie wasn't having any of it and perched on the side of his desk. "Uh-uhn, spill. What's in that?"

Adrian sighed and sat down again. "You have to promise not to tell Em."

Her brow furrowed. "Should I be telling Emma?"

He shook his head in case she was thinking something bad. "It's not like that." He opened the cover again and slid it towards her. "She hates having her picture taken. Ironic when you consider who she chose to marry." Cassie turned the pages carefully, studying his collection. "So I take practice shots of her when I'm testing the focus on my camera. It should take me a few pictures tops, I can sometimes squeeze in ten to twenty if she's not paying close attention."

Adrian pointed to one of Emma on the bench in his main studio room, a book in her lap and her face lifted as if to the sun. "I love my wife Cass and she's so beautiful. These are my favourite photos, the candid shots when she doesn't even know I'm watching. Catching her like that is great. I just wish I could show them off."

Cassie touched his shoulder. "It's sweet that you're so proud of Emma."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

She shook her head. "No reason. But I really like to see that."

He tapped her rings. "Why'd you really come Cass? Not just to spy on me I hope."

Cassie chuckled. "Actually, I'm just being nosy and killing time until I pick up my children from school." For a surprise she was collecting the kids and taking them out to get ice cream before heading home to, for once, spend Friday night as a family. She and Mark had given up their regularly scheduled date night in favour of having Darien take all three kids Saturday night and all day Sunday so each couple could enjoy spending Valentine's Day alone together.

"Nosy about what?" he inquired cautiously.

"Your plan for Valentine's Day." She leaned back on one hand. "What are you doing for Emma? And yes, I promise to keep it a secret."

If she'd expected him to divulge details, Cassie was about to be sorely disappointed. Adrian clucked his tongue. "Nice try, but no way Smurfette." The argument she planned died as he continued. "You think I'm going to take away all the fun you girls have comparing notes next week? I wouldn't dream of it."

She had the grace to look a little sheepish. "Well, it was worth a try."

He stood and kissed her cheek. "Thanks for caring Sis."

Cassie hugged him. "I'm so glad to see you happy Adrian. It's such a gift." She tapped the new ID bracelet that was his witness after coming back to faith. "We prayed so long for this."

His hand cupped her cheek. "I know Cass. I know you guys never stopped, never gave up. That means more than you will ever know." A glance at the clock had him clearing his throat. "There's extra traffic on Friday so you better get going. I wouldn't want to break the ten minute rule."

The Ten Minute Rule, for the protection of all, simply stated that none of the guys should be alone with any of the girls they weren't married to for more than ten minutes. Not that any one of them would purposely do something untoward, it was just a precaution policy in place for those times when a spouse wasn't informed ahead of time about a meeting, as Cassie had done with Mark when she had coffee with Jordan before Christmas.

She smiled. "Can't have that, not when I'm married to the group leader." Her lips fleetingly brushed his cheek as she whispered, "I love you Adrian," then with a wave she left. Adrian returned to his chair and his favourite hobby - studying his wife. He would always be grateful to be part of the frat gang, they were everything a family was supposed to be.

**NCIS**

Later at home Tony left Ziva on the couch watching one of the 'based on a true story' movies she enjoyed with a whispered, "I'm going to make a phone call babe. Be right back."

Her gaze followed his movements. "I can wait."

He dropped a kiss on her hair. "S'okay. I won't miss much."

Grabbing the portable phone, he sank into the office chair, hesitating only briefly before dialing a number committed to memory. It rang and rang and rang and he pinched the bridge of his nose when voicemail picked up. "Uh...hi Dad." Took him a month, but he was finally making good on that New Year's resolution. "I just...I just wanted to say hi. The case we wrapped up today...well, it made me think about fathers so, yeah," he finished lamely. There was a beat of silence, then, "Thanks for calling at Christmas. It was...nice. Sorry I was so long getting back to you. Bye Dad."

Tony pressed the off button and leaned his head back. As a first step it wasn't huge, but a message was better than not calling at all. Maybe next time they could move beyond phone tag and actually have a meaningful conversation. A guy could always hope. He rejoined his wife to finish the movie and didn't elaborate about who he'd phoned, not sure if he was glad Ziva gave him space and didn't ask or if he was wishing that she did so he could talk it through a bit.

When they went to bed and snuggled up together for the purpose of sharing body heat and because that was the way they liked to fall asleep, he sighed into her hair. "I guess giving blood wasn't as bad as I thought."

She looked up at him. "What about the needle part?"

Tony quirked a half grin. "I had a hard time thinking about it when I was trying to figure out the letters you were tracing on my palm. And Abby was talking a mile a minute in an effort to distract me, don't know that I caught much of what she said." He rolled his shoulders. "I still don't like needles, doubt I ever will. But I don't think the experience is as bad as what I feared."

Ziva nodded against his shirt. "You had many years to build that fear up in your head. Sometimes you have to try something that you are afraid of to realize it might not be something to be afraid of."

He kissed the top of her head. "I'm really glad you were there. I wouldn't have made the attempt otherwise."

She rubbed her hand in slow circles over his chest. "I will always be here ahava, whenever you need me."

Hugging her even tighter, he breathed in her unique scent. "That's my favourite part."

**NCIS**

**Saturday February 12**

Finally there was a Saturday when they weren't on call and nothing else was planned, so Tony and Ziva gathered up supplies and spread everything out in the livingroom to work on their Year Four scrapbook. They were halfway through the year already and Ziva felt there had hardly been any downtime to get something done, which she planned to remedy today. Together they went through the box of photos separated by dividers for each month, where they collected everything and decided which ones to use and which ones would just be added to all the others in one of the picture boxes in the closet.

Each new scrapbook started on their anniversary, so that's where Tony began, lifting out a few photos from August to peruse. There was one from the restaurant he'd brought her to for dinner - the two of them dancing and Ziva wearing the almost backless blue dress she'd chosen just for him. Then a picture snapped when they went to the movies, a late night showing of some old black and white classics - her surprise for him. September showed them at Brent and CJ's wedding and then there was a gap because at that point she'd been on assignment. They took a picture of the three of them out for Meira's walk when she got back, but the unbroken string of nightmares hindered further creativity, except of course for the belated celebration of his birthday and they'd actually taken quite a few from that.

October started a little slow for pictures, understandable considering some of the stuff they were dealing with, but after one of them sharing Chinese take out on their couch, smack in the middle of the month were several exposures from the intimate photoshoot Tony had done. The couple flipped through them together, remembering those moments and sharing a few kisses. Normally Ziva carefully labeled each photo, but for these she did a few page spread with a title and not much else, not wanting to take away from the simple beauty of the tasteful bare skin photos. Then there was one from a night of dessert and dancing at the diner, followed by their sunset ride with the horses. Lastly one Tony had snapped that he insisted on writing the label for proclaiming a day when 'ZIVA SLEPT IN UNTIL TEN O'CLOCK!', also accompanied by some of their Pixar movie afternoon where the only snacks and food allowed were those made especially for kids.

She sighed. "Does it have to be in capital letters?"

He kissed that look off her face. "It was a momentous occasion Zi. At least for me it was."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "You are incorrigible."

Tony laughed. "I'll take my chances."

For November they had one of them in bed, fully covered, that marked five years since their first undercover assignment. Then her birthday, proudly showing off her new necklace and pendant, and one Tony took of her right after work and another caption he wanted to add 'Be Careful...Handle With Care...Contents Priceless.' He gave her such a sweet smile when he showed it to her that Ziva just had to kiss him for that. The morning that she told him as she buttoned his shirt on herself that she'd always wanted to belong to someone this way captured the realization of that hope. And later that evening when they'd been dressed to the nines for their opera date in memory of Tali. Ziva had loved the new cashmere pyjama set he got for her so much that she modeled for a picture, then between his dad and her dad things got so messed up that they pretty much skipped the rest of the month.

Hanukkah and a new butterfly clip to symbolize new life was how they began December, then a few from their sleepover with the team at Gibbs' house and the single rose he'd gotten for her, with snowflakes falling all around as they ended the next day. Their second annual trip to the skating rink where Adrian had been trusted with the cameras of any couple who wanted some memories, and they all made sure to take plenty of him and Emma in return. Tony liked to capture moments when she was so absorbed in a book she didn't even notice him, so there was one of those. A one day late picture to show how they celebrated Meira's third birthday and the one year anniversary of her becoming part of the family.

One photo had somehow been snapped on the night she held him on the couch when he was the one needing comfort, and then they got to Christmas and their luxurious St. Martin vacation. It was a delight to look through all those moments again, the fun things they'd done and new things they'd tried. There were sunsets and wave pictures, lazy afternoons on the beach, horseback riding, kayaking, ziplining, hiking, dancing, eating, and spending time in bed. Photos of their room made Ziva close her eyes and remember how freeing it had been to be there in paradise alone with her husband.

"We may go on other vacations yakiri, but I do not think anything will ever top this holiday."

Tony's eyebrows jumped up. "Is that a challenge Mrs. DiNozzo?"

She shook her head. "No. But looking at these now and recalling how wonderful it was...nothing could have made that trip any better."

He ran his fingers up her back. "Except more time to be there."

Ziva tilted her head to the side. "Except that. But with jobs and responsibilities taking extended time away may never be possible."

"When we retire then," Tony decided. Guys liked challenges and if she thought nothing could be better than St. Martin, he was going to blow her mind when they finally got a honeymoon.

Their Christmas vacation ended up with more pages than any other event in their marriage and Tony commented that they might need to add more pages to the book if they wanted to have room for the next six months still.

The New Year was rung in with a snapshot of Ziva's new highlights and Tony felt the need to add to the description that the change covered item number one on her New Year's Resolutions list. Then they commemorated Tony's ten year anniversary as an NCIS agent, both privately and by going out for drinks with the team. She traced his smile in that picture with a soft expression on her face. He had definitely deserved to be celebrated. An evening of pool out with his friends came next, then a selfie of them two of them and Tony showing off his husband medal. A grinning one of the couple displayed their surprise racetrack winnings, while 'Snowmageddon' as the locals had deemed it was also included.

That was it even though they were now in February, because she only ever included a month once it was over. To save time, Tony was in charge of putting the little sticky squares on the back of the pictures while Ziva decorated and did most of the descriptions. He also cut anything she needed to accentuate the photo spread and provided running commentary whenever necessary. And there was a movie was playing in the background too so he wouldn't be completely bored with the project. "Well that was a fun trip down memory lane," he remarked. "And it's a good thing we got caught up now. Usually we're not so far behind."

She glanced at him. "The last couple years have been...fuller than the others."

"You know we're going to be at five this year."

Ziva smirked. "That is usually the number that comes after four."

He made a face at her. "Smart aleck." His job continued for several more minutes and he got briefly distracted by the film before remembering the other topic he wanted to bring up. Tony handed her another photo once Ziva had the label written. "So, I know we should've talked about this earlier, but it's been kind of a crazy week." She looked at him expectantly and he continued, reaching for her hand. "What did you want to do for Valentine's Day this year? We could go for something really fancy since last year was more chill."

Ziva considered the offer. "I think I am fine with a low key celebration again this year ahava. Perhaps next year we could be more extravagant." Especially since, if his wish was granted, Valentine's Day 2012 would be the last one where they were only a family of two. But it wouldn't do to get too attached to that idea yet, just in case.

He kissed her knuckles. "What's your pleasure then Mrs. DiNozzo? Your wish-"

Her fingers over his mouth stopped the phrase from being finished. "Valentine's Day is not just for me, what would you like to do?" The first answer that sprang to his mind didn't even need to be voiced, the smirk gave him away. Ziva rolled her eyes. "I mean besides that." Because of course on Valentine's Day of all days making love was guaranteed to happen.

"Why don't we order in something special for dinner, assuming we get off work in good time, and then see what we feel like doing after a nice gooey chick flick?"

"Okay." She leaned over to kiss him gently, her mind already running over scenarios - everything from dancing, to a candlelit bubble bath, to making him wait on the bed and appearing in the doorway wearing silky, lacy, sheer red lingerie that would remind him of their first Valentine's Day and a long ago weekend in the Bahamas. That had been two days in an open, airy hotel room facing the beach that was mostly spent reconnecting, indulging in copious amounts of intimacy, and trying to forget what awaited them back in DC. _Or perhaps,_ Ziva thought, _all of the above should be included in some way_. Whatever they did, she intended to make it a night he wouldn't soon forget.

**NCIS**

**Monday February 14**

Because Valentine's Day once again fell on a work day, those intent on celebrating had to get a bit more creative, especially when two of the people were on the same team and keeping their marriage a secret. So it was a surprise when Tony arrived at work to find a single red rose laying on his desk. He stopped, looking first at Tim and then Ziva. "What's that?"

"A rose," they said at the same time, laughing as if it was very clever.

Tony scoffed. "Thank you Captain and First Mate Obvious. I can see it's a rose. Where'd it come from?"

Ziva leaned her chin on both hands. "Presumably a store. It is not the right season to be pilfering them off someone's rosebush." He shot her a scowl as she continued. "Also, the thorns have been removed. Usually florists do that."

He dropped his bag on the floor and gingerly picked up the flower. "No card," he shared, sounding disappointed.

"Maybe it's a secret admirer Tony," McGee suggested.

T sniffed the red bloom. "I don't remember the last time someone gave me a flower. It's nice." This time the smile he aimed at his partner/wife was a very sincere 'thank you.'

"It could be," Ziva ventured, "that we all have secret admirers. I found this," she shook a plastic heart shaped container of cinnamon candies, "in my desk when I arrived."

McGee frowned. "I didn't get anything."

Ziva's gaze caught his. "That is because your admirer is not a secret. When are you doing to do something about that Tim?"

He turned red, mumbled an excuse they didn't catch, and hurried out of the bullpen. Tony seemed impressed. "That's a bold move David."

She sighed. "Someone had to say it."

Twirling his rose thoughtfully, he focused back on his wife. "It was a very nice gesture, thank you."

Ziva smirked. "How do you know it's from me?"

Tony quirked an eyebrow. "Are you saying I actually have a secret admirer?"

She got up and sauntered across the space between them, bending down to press her lips to his cheek. "Yours is not a secret either," she whispered, heading in the direction of the breakroom.

After a quick glance around for witnesses he was quick to catch up. Ziva was standing with her back to him as she poured herself a mug of hot water and unwrapped a tea bag. He approached her slowly, slipping something in the back pocket of her jeans before kissing her neck. "Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart."

Ziva retrieved the item and spun around to face him, mouth agape. "This -"

"I believe," he picked up her train of thought with a self-satisfied grin, "is the finest German chocolate someone challenged me to find."

"That -"

"Was almost two years ago, yes. But I think you'll find it's well worth the wait." Tony took it bar from her and peeled back the wrapping to break off the first row of rectangles.

"How-" Ziva tried again, but he was having way too much fun with the game to give up.

"All by myself, thank you very much. Without even the help of our resident researchers who would have, I'm sure, been happy to help. It wasn't easy." She reached for the chocolate but he held it back. "Ah, ah, ah. After all the trouble I went through to locate this delicacy, you owe me something first lady." Her eyes narrowed and Tony had the fleeting thought that perhaps getting between an ex-ninja and her chocolate wasn't the best idea he'd ever had. But after a quick scan of the hall she stepped into him, mouth seeking his lightly, only a hint of what they really wanted to give into.

He stared at his wife when she pulled back, handing over the chocolate without resisting. "That'll do."

Ziva popped a piece in her mouth, eyes sliding closed with sheer bliss as it melted on her tongue. Tony narrowly refrained from kissing her in such a way that would allow him to get a taste. "Thank you," she managed after the first was gone. "This is exactly how I remember it."

"Mission accomplished," he grinned, moving behind her to start a new tea, as the other had sat too long for her to find it drinkable. He looked beside him, gaze fixed on the thin, white gold chain around her neck. "I love when you wear that necklace."

Ziva touched the pendant which bore her first initial. "I love that you are so thoughtful when it comes to gifts." And even though no one else knew what it meant, she knew he loved to see that claim, almost like his brand on her for the world to see.

Responsibility eventually compelled them to return to their desks, but thankfully this year Valentine's Day spared them a grisly crime scene and instead sent them searching for a sailor who had disappeared the same time sensitive equipment went missing off a Navy ship. The downside was that work went late and it was eight pm by the time they got home. Being a holiday restaurants in the city were overrun by patrons and takeout orders, but Tony did manage to find one that would deliver while the girls were out for a walk. Since he was alone he deemed it safe to shift things around in the fridge and find the surprise he'd stashed at the back. After placing it behind something on the counter to get to room temperature, he went to the livingroom and pulled a handful of chick flicks off the shelves, leaving the final selection to his wife.

The lady herself returned only a couple minutes later and brushed her lips lightly over his. Meira took her turn to greet Tony, trying to get close enough to reach his face. He kissed her muzzle. "Yeah, girl, I missed you too." He slipped her a treat and held up his hands like a question. "Where's your bunny?"

The new game was that he would hide the toy somewhere when Ziva took her out and then Meira spent the next chunk of time searching. She immediately set off for the bedroom, leaving Tony to wrap his arms around Ziva and kiss her properly. He pulled the elastic gently out of her hair and threaded his fingers through the soft strands, resting his forehead on hers. "Sorry our plans got messed up."

Ziva linked her hands behind his head and smiled quite beautifully. "We still have time."

Time that was rapidly diminishing but he had a feeling that even though they'd be short on sleep tomorrow, neither one of them would choose more hours of dreams over time spent celebrating the day of love. He nodded towards the coffeetable. "What's your pleasure tonight?"

She left the circle of his arms to examine the selection and quickly settled on _Ever After_. Moving into the office, she returned with both hands behind her back. "I thought I would give you your present before dinner arrives." His expression was a little uncertain, they hadn't really talked about doing gifts this year. After their vacation it had been vaguely mentioned that any money that would normally go towards other presents throughout the year should be saved so they could do something special for their anniversary and birthdays. Ziva smiled. "Do not worry ahava. It was not expensive, but I found something I wanted to share with you. Nothing is needed in return, I am just glad for an evening to spend alone with you." That said, she handed him a small frame with a quote in the middle, decorated with scrollwork around the edges.

_What's a soulmate? _

_It's like a best friend, but more._

_It's the one person in the world who knows you better than anyone else._

_That someone who makes you a better person._

_No, actually, they don't make you a better person._

_You do that by yourself because they inspire you._

_A soulmate is someone you carry with you forever._

_It's one person who knew you, accepted you, and believed in you before _

_anyone else did or when no one would._

_And no matter what happens you'll always love them and nothing could ever change that._

Tony read it over once, then slowly again and looked up to meet his wife's eyes. She shrugged. "I was searching for something online and came across this. So much of it seemed to fit both of us, so I wanted you to have it as a reminder. That word has had much meaning for us."

He was reminded of the African woman who asked Ziva if she'd met her soulmate yet, when his wife told him the significance of the word 'beshert' in her language, and the moment he knew there would be no other woman in the world for him but her. Circling his arm around her waist, he drew her close. "Thank you sweetheart. This means a lot."

Ziva melted into him and several moments passed with them lost in the bliss of loving caresses before the doorbell interrupted them. He reluctantly pulled away, giving her a rueful look. "I could do that all night."

She smiled hopefully. "I am not going anywhere."

Chuckling, he answered the door and paid for their meal. They worked together to get everything on plates and moved to the livingroom, but before he pressed play on the movie Tony faced to his wife. "The only thing I can give as a gift is this: Reason #898 - I love you for fuzzy pyjamas, bare feet, and dessert for breakfast after long cases when we get home in time to see the sun come up."

Since all three things had happened in recent days, the timing of that particular reason didn't seem out of place. Her fingers traced his face with reverence. "When you told me the first few I never really thought the list would become so long. Ahava, ata otzer et nishmati."

Tony's brow furrowed. "I don't recognize that one."

Leaning in to cover his mouth with hers, she whispered the translation onto his lips. "You take my breath away."

He gave her a little half-grin. "That's supposed to be my line." Another long, drugging kiss usurped their focus on anything else and it was extremely difficult to tear himself away. "But thanks."

Finally settling down to eat their meal, the couple managed to keep their hands off each other at least that long. Near the end Tony got up to clear plates and came back with the thing he'd gotten out earlier. "I was wrong. I guess I do have something else for you." Ziva waited expectantly and he lifted the lid to reveal two rows of perfectly formed chocolate covered strawberries. Her eyes lit with delight and he grinned. "I just can't help myself this time of year. They always take me back to our honeymoon."

Ziva picked out one and held it out to him for the first bite, then he offered the rest to her and promptly kissed the remaining chocolate off their lips. They indulged in several before she suggested they store the rest for later. As the end of the movie approached she waited for her favourite scene which rang in a happily ever after. Never one to be left out, Tony claimed her lips as well and she laid her head on his chest. "I confided in Cassie that I saw this movie with you once and rather liked the idea of being a princess."

Tony studied her. "I thought you weren't a fan of the princess stuff. You never let me use it."

She moved and straddled his lap. "That is because I want you to be my husband, not my loyal servant." She joined their lips slowly. "And this time it is my turn to treat you." Standing up, she pulled him to his feet and gave him a gentle push in the direction of their room. "Go wait on the bed."

A lecherous expression took over his face before he cleared his throat and followed orders. "Yes, Your Highness."

Ziva rolled her eyes and retreated to the bathroom where she'd already set out what she needed. It wasn't long before she appeared in the doorway and lounged against the frame. Her husband, hoping that his wish for Valentine's Day was coming up next, had stripped down to his boxers. She was glad he hadn't hopped the gun to be waiting under the sheets in nothing but his skin. That part was coming a little later. Instead she basked in his reaction to her choice of lingerie and smirked when he seemed to have difficulty swallowing.

"Wow. It's uh...been awhile since I saw that one." But he vividly remembered the first time she put on the red, nearly sheer lacy negligee and with her hair all wild and down around her shoulders he wanted her now. But as she seemed to have a plan, he tried to exercise a little patience.

"I heard a rumour that you like honey dust and you know how I feel about it." Tony closed his eyes. Like he'd ever be able to unhear her observation, _I find the taste of honey dust to be extremely erotic._ "So I was wondering why you have never gotten any for us."

He cleared his throat, then got up and came to stand in front of her, cupping her cheek with his hand. "I never wanted you to draw any comparisons between me your husband and the guy I was when we first met." His lips swept over hers gently. "I value you so much more than any of my past conquests Zi. I needed you to know that." Kissing her again, he pulled back with a little chuckle. "And I guess part of me didn't want to think about the guys you might've used it with."

"We have a history together now that out shadows anything in our pasts amore." She held out a container of honey dust and the feather used to apply it. "I decided it was time to remedy this oversight." Those supplies were placed on her dresser. "But first Anthony DiNozzo, may I have this dance?"

Without further ado Tony swept his wife into his arms and, after closing the door to keep Meira out, led her in graceful circles around the room and back to their bed. What came next would be, quite simply, a time to cherish.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday February 15**

The next morning Ziva woke to Tony propped up on his elbow, smiling fondly at her. She half buried her face in the pillow and opened one eye. "What?" Her hope was that he wasn't looking to get lucky again so soon. After last night's enthusiasm she needed a day off to recover, but preferred not to say that part out loud.

He sifted his fingers through her hair. "I was just thinking how much I love waking up to you." Sliding over, he draped an arm over her waist and set his forehead on hers. "It makes up for a lifetime of empty beds."

Ziva brushed her mouth against his. "That is very sweet." She stretched, glancing at the clock. "Breakfast or shower first?"

"That depends. Are we sharing the shower?"

She pursed her lips. "If we only shower."

Tony studied her carefully. "Too much yesterday?" Ziva kept insisting he didn't always have to be careful and gentle with her, but sometimes he wondered if she was really just trying to convince herself that she was over Somalia.

His wife shrugged. "Only in that it would be uncomfortable to do anything today." She cracked a smile. "I believe this is actually normal. It is nice to be normal for once."

"Okay." He wanted to dig a little deeper and see if there was anything else bothering her, but for now that would have to do. Tony dropped a kiss on her nose. "Why don't you take the shower first and I'll walk Meira, then I'll be really quick and join you for breakfast."

She nodded. "Sounds good." Ziva started towards the door, then turned back , biting her lip. "Are you disappointed?" He didn't often decline an opportunity share the shower.

His eyebrows jumped up and he moved forward, rested his hands at her waist. "How could I be disappointed after you took such good care of me last night?" Ziva's gaze flickered towards the bathroom and Tony slid his palms up her back. "I'm only planning on doing mine separately because I know I can't help reacting to you naked and I don't want you to feel like that's pressure for anything."

Her lips curved up and she touched his face. "How did I end up with such a considerate man?" She pecked his cheek. "Thank you ahava, for caring so much."

Out of words when she'd stolen them away with her smile, Tony grinned and left to take care of their dog.

Ziva was still wearing that soft expression when they got to work and McGee picked up on it right away. "You look really happy today Ziva. Have a good Valentine's Day?"

Trying to rein in the expression with little success, she simply nodded. "Yes, thank you. It was nice to celebrate with someone who went out of his way to make me feel special." She lingered in memory for a moment before coming back to present. "And you Tim?"

McGee shrugged. "Nothing too special." He hadn't been able to dredge up the bravery to follow through on what he decided last year, to top his present and hope Abby's thanks came in the form of another kiss. This time more than any he felt dread growing in his stomach at the thought of laying his heart bare before his best friend again. When he tried that during their initial dating period it backfired on him in a major way and there were several uncomfortable months between them before they fell into a manageable rut as friends. But his heart never forgot her rejection and now he knew he was pulling away to protect himself but he couldn't make it stop.

If their awkward dinner last night was any indication, Abby was confused about the mixed signals he'd been sending out and Tim didn't know how to explain to her why he was suddenly so inconsistent when only a couple weeks ago he was very invested in seeing them move forward a few more steps, even excited about what that might look like. She'd made the initial request to spend more time together, everything that had happened between them since the summer told him she was finally open to more of what they once had, and yet he suddenly was not able to meet her in the middle.

Tony interrupted his morose musings with a petulant, "Why is no one asking me about my Valentine's Day?"

Gibbs walked around the corner. "Since when do we have to ask DiNozzo?"

He nodded. "That's a good point Boss. So as I was about to say, last night-"

Their team leader left the way he'd just come in. "Goin' for coffee."

Tim stood up quickly. "Gotta hit the head."

Ziva pushed back her chair. "I need to check something with Abby."

Tony looked around slowly once the room cleared and spread his hands. "Was it something I said?"

**NCIS**

Tony could tell right away when the third letter from Eli appeared in their mailbox that his wife was done being passive about this new development. With an expression on her face that would've frightened him considerably a couple years ago Ziva stormed into the office, jabbed the power button on her laptop, and connected a Skype call to Nettie. Never mind that it was after midnight in Israel, she wanted answers and she wanted them now.

Nettie appeared on screen after the second call, still tying her robe and covering a yawn. "Zivaleh? What is wrong?"

Her face a mask of barely concealed anger, she waved the envelope at her aunt. "What exactly does he think this will prove?" She slapped the letter down on the desk. "I am sick of these!"

Nettie conveyed a calm her niece wasn't currently capable of feeling. "Have you even read one of them motek?"

"I do not care for anything he has to say! It is too late. He wasted his last chance. I do not want to hear from him any more."

The older woman shrugged one shoulder, still maintaining an infuriating detachment. "People are free to write letters with or without your permission little one. What harm can a few pieces of paper do?"

Ziva's expression crumpled as tears now fought for dominance over rage. "I thought you understood. Why are you supporting him?"

Nettie clucked her tongue sympathetically. "Little bird, you know very well that I do not take sides. But many times I have been called on to be a mediator, to sit between two sides and offer my advice and opinions and support to both." Her tone softened. "I know you are hurt and angry Zivi, after everything you have shared I do understand. Nourishing your fury is something I cannot do because it goes against what I want so desperately for you to experience."

"And what is that?" she bit out.

"Peace," Nettie shared quietly. "Which is something you will not find by hating Eli. Forgiveness however-"

At that point Ziva was done listening. "Goodnight Doda." She disconnected the call, spent a moment or two slouched in the office chair pouting like a two year old over a conversation that had not gone her way, and finally gave up on all of it and shoved the envelope in a nearby garbage can. Then she informed her husband she was going for a run even though she'd already been swimming that morning, ignored their dog's request to come, and didn't return until two hours later, drenched in sweat and shaking with exhaustion. Tony showered with her to keep the water at a reasonable temperature and prevent her from collapsing on the floor, after which he put her to bed and sat in the chair, elbows leaning on his knees while he watched her breathe. Meira joined his silent vigil sometime later and he dropped his face into his hands. What could possibly go wrong next?

**NCIS**

**Wednesday February 16**

Their day started with McGee having a string of bad luck including being blamed for Gibbs' misbehaving computer and the probie subsequently spilling the boss's coffee. Apparently he should've stuck to his instincts and stayed home today. Things only got worse when a Blake Martin showed up announcing he was investigating several breaches originating from their office for the DoD. Tim was a little nervous, as he had every right to be, but Ziva thought he handled the scrutiny quite well all things considered. It did seem a little unfair that Director Vance wasn't watching their backs and instead assigned poor McGee to help Blake with his investigation.

He was understandable relieved when Gibbs sent the two of them to check out who was using their dead Marine's credit card. Max was actually Maxine and she had the card for what seemed like a legitimate reason, but they still escorted her back to her apartment to retrieve the letter Corporal Armstrong left with her in case he didn't come back. Ziva found it cute how nervous he was around her and by the way his eyes followed her he obviously thought she was attractive. As much as she was quite attached to the idea of 'McAbby' as Tony called them, there didn't seem to be any harm in McGee getting an ego boost from Maxine's interest in him. She waited outside the apartment to be needed, smirking as she listened to the talk about video games over their comms. It was almost comical when he realized she was the one who held high scores in almost all the online games he frequented.

Just as he was about to leave there was a hail of gunfire that took out her computer, but thanks to McGee's quick reflexes did not find their mark in Maxine. She was quite legitimately terrified after that experience and, according to Ziva's husband who joined them shortly, practically clung to McGee on their way to the safehouse. Tony and Ziva by now should've been used to spending the night apart, but they were not, especially so soon after the last protection detail separated them for a couple days and when they hadn't yet had the chance to talk about last night's meltdown. They kept their phones busy texting, Tony managing security inside and outside the building while McGee talked to geek to Maxine to try and distract her from the situation at hand. She didn't sleep well, McGee was on edge, and Tony was a little grumpy because he'd rather be at home, so none of them spent a particularly pleasant night. Little did they know it would get even more interesting tomorrow.

**NCIS**

The clock was slipping into another day when Gibbs finally put down the brace and bit he was using to bore holes for wooden pegs and realized Celeste wasn't going to call. His heart sank with disappointment. Maybe he hadn't really known how much those conversations meant to him but right now it was painfully obvious. His concern that something may have prevented her call was tempered with a firm conviction that if something had actually happened he would know in his gut. So she simply hadn't made the effort, because an organized person like his ex-wife wouldn't simply forget it was her day to initiate contact.

Knowing her as he did, the less than secret hope for them to become something more than friends in the not so distant future, he simply couldn't understand why she hadn't picked up the phone. Pouring himself a splash of bourbon, Gibbs wondered if her silence tonight had anything to do with the fact that he'd avoided talking to her on Monday. Oh, he'd considered it, even just leaving a brief message to say 'Happy Valentine's Day'. But in the end he'd left it alone, partially out of fear and partially out of hope.

He was to the point now where he was absolutely certain he wanted to get somewhere real with Celeste this time, but if their disastrous beginning had taught him anything it was that the way of the tortoise far outclassed the rabbit's rush. They needed a foundation this time, a good one built off the friendship they'd nurtured for seventeen long years. And maybe she needed to hear him say that out loud so she had something to hold onto, but if that was the case she was going to have to ask. He had hopes for where they would be this time next year, but they weren't going to make it if she didn't tell him what she was thinking. And since she hadn't bothered, he wasn't going to either. Whatever was going on, he didn't feel like playing games.

**NCIS**

**Thursday February 17**

With a uniform posted overnight at Maxine's apartment, the crime scene could wait to be processed this morning. McGee, taking photos, lamented the waste of such a high end computer. Ziva, from the kitchen, called back, "So was the target the woman who is infatuated with you or her technology?"

McGee rolled his eyes. "She is not infatuated."

"Tony said she was very clingy when you went to the safehouse last night."

"That's just a normal reaction to being shot at," he explained, not sorry that Tony had remained behind to watch their witness instead of himself. She really had been too close for comfort the night before. On the other hand, he didn't relish returning to NCIS either with that creepy DoD guys still hanging around.

Shortly after they were all congregated back at the office Gibbs sent Tony, as Maxine was now in protective custody with an officer, and Ziva to check out a woman who could've been the potential killer of their Marine. She used to be a martial arts instructor (to which Ziva replied that if NCIS didn't work out, perhaps she should look into something along those lines, earning herself a glare from her husband for even thinking about not being his partner anymore) before her therapist and her judge mandated anger management course suggested a new line of work.

Tony glanced around the room approvingly. "Good choice." Ziva gave him a side look and saw that he was not googling the other women or even the teacher, but had an expression on his face that spoke of imagining what she'd look like in those tight outfits and enticing poses.

In the car Ziva ran her fingers over the back of his hand. "I missed you last night."

He sighed and met her gaze. "That's becoming a familiar phrase."

Ziva sighed. "I know. And it is true every time." A twinkle entered her eyes. "Would you like me to tell you what I was thinking about all alone in our bed last night?"

Tony recognized that tone and knew it spelled trouble for him on work time, but he couldn't pass up the opportunity. "Uh yeah, sure."

She leaned over to whisper in his ear, something that had them both chuckling and him squirming a bit. Tony cleared his throat. "And would you, um, be interested in giving me more...details later?"

Placing her hand on his thigh just a little shy of indecent, she winked at her husband. "If you are good."

He closed his eye briefly and groaned inwardly. Great, and now he was supposed to concentrate on work? Fat chance.

**NCIS**

Later McGee snuck down to the lab, doing his best to avoid the hovering Mr. Martin. He looked both ways before exiting the elevator and hurried inside. "Hey Abbs, you busy?"

She glanced back. "I'm just processing Armstrong's computer."

He gave her a pleading look. "Mind if I use your spare? I'm trying to keep a low profile."

"Don't you worry Tim." Abby held up a large jar already containing several donations to the 'Agent McGee Legal Defense Fund'. "We've got your back."

McGee groaned. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

Joining her at the desk, he started typing and she asked, "So what are you looking for?"

"Got a lead on the shooter. Women Corporal Armstrong has been dating." He shook his head. "There's a lot. Gonna have to interview them all."

"I bet they're not all as pretty as that Maxine Tony can't shut up about," Abby grumbled.

His brow furrowed. "Maxine?"

She faced him. "You know, the one who threw herself all over you last night?"

"That's not how it happened."

Abby crossed her arms. "That's what I heard."

"Well you're wrong." He should've known better. The moment the words left his mouth McGee knew he was in trouble. One did not accuse Abby Scuito of being wrong without facing dire consequences.

Spinning around so fast her pigtails were in motion, she focused back on the screen and refused to say another word to him at all. Of course, that backfired on her when she found a bug on the computer and had to read him in. Discovering it was only monitoring the game ports when Armstrong didn't even play games made McGee think Maxine might be the target after all and she was brought into headquarters for questioning so they could try to figure out what was going on.

Between Gibbs and McGee they found out that, because Maxine was using Corporal Armstrong's credit cards to buy games, the killer assumed he was the one playing them. But actually whoever it was had been trying to bug her and the trail instead led back to her ex-boyfriend. She told them about being on her laptop a couple days ago and hitting a weird kill screen after she broke her all time points record. Apparently it looked like some kind of encrypted data. And the better news was that she'd taken screen grabs and could actually show them what she saw.

McGee brought the pictures up on the plasma and explained to Gibbs that Maxine had unintentionally exposed some kind of encrypted data hidden in the game. Assuming Armstrong did the exposing made him a target, but the killer clearly realized their mistake and went after Maxine instead. Abby was working on finding out what the data was, but the more pressing question was a sentence Ziva finished as she walked into the bullpen. "How did the data get in the game in the first place?" She looked a bit smug as she ditched her coat and held up a zip drive. "And I have the answers."

Having spoken to the CEO of the company that made the _Fear Tower_ game where the data was hidden, she learned that Reed Snyder, the lead programmer, would be the one to know about it. Gibbs ordered him brought in only to be informed that he disappeared two days ago. Clearly it wouldn't do for things to be too easily wrapped up. Tim and Ziva jumped into action checking bank statements and getting a BOLO out on the man, all without their boss having to say a word. The real surprise came when Gibbs pointed out Agah Bayar's name and Ziva voiced what they were all thinking, "Why is a video game designer getting money from an arm's dealer?" The question of the hour.

While Gibbs interrogated the confident man, Tony took an opportunity to whisk his wife into the unoccupied except for the tech operator in the corner who already knew to mind his own business Observation room. There he slid his arms around her, kissing her softly. The outfit she had on today, a white t-shirt with a black stripe on it underneath a white blouse was very pretty and her hair was half up, half down, a style he greatly enjoyed. Ziva smoothed her hand over his chest and stared up into his eyes. "What was that for?"

He nuzzled her ear. "I just had to tell you how delectable you look."

She smirked. "Doesn't that mean good enough to eat?"

"Mmhmm," Tony murmured, lowering his voice even further and speaking directly in her ear so no one could overhear. "Which means I may just have to kiss every inch of skin before we get around to all that fun stuff you were talking about earlier."

Ziva giggled, a reaction he was still so proud of being able to elicit from her, and whispered something in Hebrew before her lips found his again. Then, reluctantly, they returned their focus to the information Bayar was providing.

Apparently Snyder was hired to create a video game that would showcase Bayar's more exotic merchandise. It came as news to him that the programmer was missing and also that they had screen captures of the encrypted data. His alibi, which Tony and Ziva immediately left to verify, was being in Veracruz, Mexico as a guest of the governor. "His whole entourage was there for two weeks," he confirmed, giving a low whistle. "Must be nice."

Ziva smiled. "It is."

He swivelled towards her. "When were you there?"

She shrugged. "Awhile back. We kayaked out to an island to observe life on the coral reef, visited ruins and the museum." Her eyes closed in memory. "Mmm...they had great coffeehouses. I enjoyed the folkdance exhibitions." She threw in a few steps to demonstrate. "The women wore long white dresses and the men's costumes were white as well. It was the perfect temperature all the time. There are waterfalls, lagoons, mountains, a rich variety of wildlife. The people are very talented at handcrafts, furniture, ceramic cooking utensils, white clay water jugs, toys, bells, and they also make musical instruments. The traditional clothing there is lovely - elaborately decorative blouses, dresses, skirts, jackets."

Her brow furrowed. "I may still have one somewhere. But I can't recall where it is now." Disappointment was obvious in her tone. "Ezeh bassah! I really liked it too." For a moment Ziva was quiet, then she returned to her recitation on Veracruz with a little less enthusiasm. "Their leather items are of very high quality as well. Shoes, jackets, bags, wallets, boots, belts. The leather bag I use all the time is from there. And I have a pair of boots in the closet I have not worn in ages. The food is wonderful."

Tony grinned. "You've sold me. When do we leave?"

She rolled her eyes. "Let me think about that for a moment. Next century maybe?"

He ran his fingers through the hair hanging down her back. "Sarcasm does not become you Ms. David."

"Neither does wishful thinking," she retorted.

"I was semi-serious. And we did talk about another vacation in the next year."

Ziva gave him a small smile. "At the rate we are stockpiling destinations, we will need to go away every few years just to hit them all."

His expression was gleeful. "I like the sound of that."

Gibbs strode around the corner demanding an update and they returned to their professional personas, recapping some of the same information they'd just shared with each other but leaving out anything that would hint at something personal between them. "Still no word on Snyder's whereabouts," Ziva reported.

"But," McGee continued, "we found some interesting stuff in his background that may explain Bayar's interest in him."

Which prompted Gibbs' next question. "Define interesting."

Apparently the DoD had their eyes on Snyder for awhile, he was suspected of hacking the Pentagon and selling classified information. They thought he'd been putting encrypted secrets in mass distributed video games. Then all he had to do was sell the decryption key and buyers could access the data themselves. The most pressing inquiry then became - what was in _Fear Tower 3_ that would interest an arm's dealer and what was Snyder doing now?

**NCIS**

The BOLO came back on Snyder's car and it was dark by the time Tony and McGee arrived at the abandoned and rather creepy pumped storage facility. As they used flashlights to descend cement steps, Tony posed a question to his counterpart. "So when this is over, you ever think of asking that Maxine girl out on a date?" Since her hopes about something happening with Tim and Abby over Valentine's had been dashed by the probie's rather lackluster description of how he'd spent the holiday, Ziva asked if he would try to encourage McGee in some fashion. Though he wasn't entirely certain she meant pushing him in the direction of another woman.

"Nope," Tim answered immediately.

Tony pursed his lips. "Something wrong in techie paradise?"

"Where'd you get that idea?" came his vague response.

"Well, I'm only the guy who's been working with you for the last seven years. So, you know, I notice things."

The younger agent tried for a weak shift in subject. "I think I'd like sarcastic Tony back now please." _Never thought I'd say that_, he added to himself. But he'd take anything that would get DiNozzo's interest out of his personal life.

Tony patted him on the back. "Well he's not here right now. Just wise, insightful Tony. And uh, he thinks you've got more on your mind than just case of nerves." He recalled the time before he and Ziva were anything except co-workers. "But there's taking it easy and then there's being an idiot, which is kind of my strong suit. You're obviously attracted to this girl and she seems to like you, what more do you need to know?"

Tim shrugged non-committally. "I'll think about it."

"Don't think too long," his friend intoned seriously, "life's short."

"Being profound doesn't suit you Tony," McGee muttered, but Tony had no time to refute that because they came across their missing and now dead programmer.

Back at NCIS Ducky discovered Snyder was dead before Corporal Armstrong was murdered, and it appeared the same person had been responsible for the demise of both men. The ME's observation that if they wanted to find out why Snyder was dead they'd have to find out what he was selling came at perfect timing to Abby's entrance. "Found it," she announced. "And you're not gonna like it."

Rather than selling information, Snyder was selling his actual hacking program which would give the buyers access to the Pentagon's most secure mainframe. There was, however, good news from the forensic scientist. "It would take a computer like, millions of years to crack the Pentagon's defenses."

Gibbs' response opened up a whole new world for the computer geeks. "How long would it take a million computers?"

"If the program was downloaded onto millions of computers," Abby began only to have McGee finish her sentence.

"Snyder would have enough combined processing power to crack the Pentagon wide open."

Abby continued working it through. "Anyone who bought an unlock code is gonna have access to top-secret information."

While Gibbs called the Pentagon McGee got a look on his face indicating his brain was working overtime. Since the circumstances didn't allow for their earlier awkwardness to interfere with the case, Abby approached him. "What?"

"I think there's already someone there that knows." He rushed out and soon found himself in Interrogation 1 with none other than Blake Martin. But at least this time he was on the right side of the table.

According to Martin's security logs he knew about the hacks coming out of NCIS a long time ago, but chose now to show up when it would put him in the perfect position to keep tabs on the murder investigation of Corporal Armstrong. Staying abreast of how much they found out would give him a good idea of when to make himself scarce. He swept the NCIS hacks under the carpet so it wouldn't make him look bad and killed Reed Snyder so as not to potentially lose himself a billion dollar contract. They bluffed having Martin's fingerprint on the hot dog cart where pieces of Corporal Armstrong had been ditched and were able to get his confession.

Blake was left to stew about his dismal looking future in Interrogation while Tim joined Ziva in Observation. She barely even hinted at him doing something with Maxine before he brushed her off, citing a major security hole at the Pentagon that needed to be plugged. Then Abby came in. "It might be too late for that."

Minutes later she briefed Gibbs and McGee on the insurance policy Snyder built into his hacking program. It was a dead man's switch - if he didn't enter a code into the system every week the program would disable all of DoD's firewalls and erase everything. Any military computer on the grid would be wiped clean. The even worse news was, the program had already launched. And since _Fear Tower 3_ was installed on roughly fifteen million computers, the hacking program couldn't just be shut down, it had to be disabled at the source.

The team, minus McGee who was handling things from MTAC, was dispatched back to the abandoned pumped storage facility that was apparently also Snyder's hideout and base of operations. Time was running short with only three minutes and forty seconds left when they came to a dead end even though the map McGee was looking at said differently. Tony knocked on the walls and found one that was hollow, which Gibbs kicked through. Their break in tripped a security alarm and they learned the hard way that the whole place was booby-trapped. Before McGee could be of any help, a wall slid back separating Gibbs from Tony and Ziva, who were left with only their flashlights in a short corridor.

Tony's request for McGee to hit a reset button and Tim's frustrated exclamation that it wasn't a video game, as well as Gibbs' demands that McGee get him to where he needed to be broke open the realization that the building and security system was designed as a video game, which made him feel much more in his element. A small explosion jacked his heartrate up until Gibbs finally answered and was apparently okay. He found Snyder's mainframe around the next corner and rather than try to use the remaining ten seconds to follow McGee's instructions for the computer illiterate about shutting it down, Gibbs simply emptied his gun into the equipment. Satisfied that it was permanently disabled, he sported a little smile. "Game over."

_Replies:_

_Melissa - lol...anything to make my readers happy :) I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, a little bit of the real Tony is sneaking into his work persona, it's a good thing no one was paying too close of attention. Yup, I think EJ shows up 2 or 3 chapters from now. She will definitely shake things up a little. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Allie - You're welcome. I wish I could do it more but this is what worked this time. Are you still in the trailer or has your husband finished the cottage? (I still give him mad props for doing it by himself). I'm very happy that this story brings back good memories for you. I'm quite happy being lost in my own little world where Tiva is very much a reality :) I only heard hints recently about Michael leaving. I'm really surprised the show is going to try to continue now without 2 of their best loved main characters. I'm not sorry to have made S10 the last season I watched. My inspiration lies between S3 and 10, for me nothing else exists after it. I'm glad for the years we got, it gives a lot to draw from for FF :) Thanks for reviewing!_

_Guest - thank you :) It's nice that there's a lot more of those sweet moments now than in the first half of this part. Well actually the part of MIT that sticks decently close to canon goes until the explosion at the end of S9. After that we spin off into my own original story about the aftermath. I still anticipate having a year or two left before this series concludes. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Yeah, I had to find some way of focusing his attention on Ziva rather than the way he totally melted for the cute nurse on the show. Sometimes that's the best part, just those subtle tweaks that change the whole meaning of a scene. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	41. 8x16 Kill Screen 2

_A/N: So this one is a little late which means the first chapter for next week is going to have to be pushed back a day or so as well. Sorry about that. I got some really great responses to the last chapter. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts guys, I really appreciate when y'all take the time to review. To this author it really means a lot! :) ~Aliyah PS. Oh, and Happy Valentine's Weekend!_

**Thursday February 17 continued**

As soon as the steel doors slid shut Tony and Ziva were swallowed by thick darkness, broken only by Tony's flashlight beam. Startled, Ziva had dropped hers and it went out after making contact with the cement floor. The stiffness of her posture was the first thing to clue him in, followed rapidly by her ragged breathing. Tony stepped behind her and handed over his light, wrapping her hands around it when she didn't move.

"Ziva? It's okay. I'm right here. We have the flashlight, we're going to be fine." His words weren't registering but he kept talking anyhow, stealthily removing the Sig and knife at her hip, then crouching to lift her left pantleg and retrieve the small back up. He knew there were at least one or two other weapons on her but those were his main concerns.

Rambling on about Gibbs and McGee and video games and mazes Tony stored the weapons in one corner with her fallen light and returned to Ziva, standing with his chest against her back, and slid his arms around her. She flinched and jerked away violently but he tightened his grip, speaking softly into her ear. "It's only me Zi, I'm here, I love you. You're not in the desert okay? This isn't the camp and no one, no one is going to hurt you." He jostled her a bit. "Come on babe, talk to me."

Too much time passed before halting words passed her trembling lips. "I do not...like...the dark."

Tony moved in front of her, taking the flashlight and shining it around. "It's not dark, see honey? We have a light."

Ziva shook her head and tried, but couldn't form a whole sentence. Panicked eyes darted around the five by six space. "Trapped," she whimpered.

Needing both his hands, Tony propped the flashlight against one wall and folded his fingers between hers. "But you're not alone. Never again Zi, not without me." The fear still clung to her like a suffocating cloth and he pulled her close, his left hand at her hip and right wrapped around hers. "Dance with me honey," he whispered. "Just dance with me."

He began to sway gently from side to side and Ziva's fingers curled around his arm in a desperate grip. A melody came to mind and Tony hummed softly, eventually adding the words as well. Ziva pressed in close and rested her forehead on his shoulder, the tension in her body uncoiling enough to follow his lead. Tony pushed her hat to the ground and dropped his, then their fingers meshed and he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. It seemed like hours before the spell broke and Ziva threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his jacket, trying so hard not to cry and shuddering from the emotions and memories fighting within her.

Tony engulfed his wife fully in his embrace and nuzzled his face into her neck, kissing the warm skin. "I love you," he whispered over and over, in more than one language. "You're safe. I'm here. Stay with me." It was a mantra he couldn't seem to stop, and occasionally Ziva nodded so he knew he was getting through. After awhile Tony tugged one arm down and pressed her hand over his heart. "You're okay babe. Feel my heart beat. We're here together and we're going to get out."

Her nose nudged his and Tony hesitated. Intimacy had ceased to be an issue almost a year ago and her nightmares had disappeared shortly before Christmas, something for which they were both thankful. But if her mind was in the desert... Ziva's palm found his cheek and her next words were breathed onto his lips. "Do not worry ahava. I will let you know if it is too much."

He gave in, covering her mouth with his and offering the caress as tangible comfort. Ziva reciprocated, her lips sliding over and between his, a dance as complex yet familiar as what they shared earlier. He reached up to cup her face in his hand, indulging in her taste, her scent, her soft skin and smooth hair, feeling her heart race in the pulse under her jaw. Breathing was an annoyance only bothered with when they began to feel lightheaded from something besides the passion flowing between them like a current of electricity. But different from other times this was not a precursor to bedroom activities, rather a husband and wife drawing comfort and reassurance from the depth of their love.

When he finally had to take a break because he was getting a little too wound up Tony pressed his mouth above her eyebrow, planted feather light kisses on her closed eyelids, brushed his lips over her nose, and hugged her. Later both would vaguely recall finding a place to sit, Ziva between Tony's legs and huddled against his chest, talking in hushed tones about the serious topics that seemed easier to bring up in dark and stillness. But what both would remember most was dancing and kissing and holding on tight, forever and always the lifelines to draw each other back from the edge.

**NCIS**

An extremely long few hours later firemen finally pried the door open and released Tony and Ziva from their prison. Gibbs, slightly patched up by a medic, was on hand to see them come out and their appearance raised numerous questions. Tony's jaw was set, his teeth gritted with anger, while Ziva was completely withdrawn. The only word he could come up with that matched her expression was haunted and he frowned. What could've happened in that little room to explain what he saw?

Considering the circumstances Gibbs sent his entire team home, leaving Agent Carter's crew to deal with the aftermath. Usually he would've insisted they stay and finish up, but it was already the middle of the night and there was more wrong than he could currently put his finger on. Approving a ten am start time rather than the usual seven-thirty, he gave up and headed for his own house where a phone call with his ex-wife was definitely in the cards. He needed a sounding board right now more than answers for why she hadn't taken her last turn.

Kind of amped up after the adrenaline rush from earlier, he was too antsy to settle on the couch and went downstairs, dialing her number and putting it on speaker as he lay a board across two sawhorses and grabbed his handsaw. If Celeste was afraid he was going to mention her lack of call yesterday first thing, she should've been relieved to hear only the rasp of saw teeth going against the grain of the wood. "Hello?" she called. "Jethro?" There was no response so she waited, hearing his small grunts of exertion and then a clatter when the cut piece of wood fell to the cement floor. "Jethro?"

Breathing hard but not quite worn down enough to talk, he huffed out, "Need a minute Les."

"Okay." She listened as he began again with the saw and waited through two more boards meeting their match before he finally plopped down on the stool and brought his phone closer.

"Hi."

Celeste smiled a bit nervously even though he couldn't see her. "Hi." Gibbs sighed and she pushed through her insecurities to take charge of whatever he needed from her. "What happened this time?"

He frowned. "Am I that predictable?"

"Lately, yes. I can think of several instances in the last number of weeks that you've called to blow off steam or rant about someone. Why don't you tell me tonight's reason?"

Gibbs grabbed a mallet and handful of wooden pegs, setting his phone on a nearby part of the frame. Positioning one in the hole, he brought the mallet down on it, pounding it neatly into place. "Too long of a story." _Whack!_

She rolled her eyes. "Just give me the highlights then."

"Killer computer." _Whack! _"Tony and Ziva got trapped." _Whack!_ "Stuck for three hours." _Whack! _"Did a number on both of them." _Whack! _"Just wanna know," _Whack!_ ", what the heck is going on with them." _Whack!_

The last one was hit with more force than necessary and Celeste gentled her tone. "Jethro."

Dropping the tools he heaved a sigh and sat back down. "You shoulda seen her when the emergency workers got them outta that room Les. She looked like...like..."

"Like the past found her in there?"

"Yeah." He rubbed his face, feeling old and weary. "There's stuff she's not telling us."

"Stuff she's not telling you, you mean," Celeste corrected. "I remember hearing about the day she finally spoke to Tony regarding that experience." Though they hadn't been in contact then, a lot had come up while they got reacquainted over the summer when Paloma was a threat.

Gibbs had allowed himself to forget how broken his senior field agent had been after Ziva finally shared the story of her captivity. "DiNozzo was ticked when they came out. Ziver...Les she just looked so haunted. And I can't put my finger on any of it, don't know how to help, because she never let me into that part."

Celeste was quiet for a moment. "There are some things, perhaps, a father should never have to hear about what happened to his daughter."

He closed his eyes, remembering again Ziva's appearance when they brought her out of the camp. "I read her file after the field hospital, after Ducky's initial exams. I saw her as they were getting her cleaned up." He shook his head. "Some things you just know whether you're told or not."

Her heart ached for the revelation, that he had proof of the things she'd only suspected Ziva suffered at the hands of those terrorists. She was like his own flesh and blood now and a parent always hurt when their child did. "Why do you think Tony's angry?"

Gibbs shrugged one shoulder. "Could be mad at the situation. Maybe she lashed out at him. Maybe he tried to help and she wouldn't let him. We'll probably never know because they won't mention it again."

"Maybe," Celeste ventured, "the first thing you should do tomorrow is give Ziva a hug. I bet you it would mean a lot, coming from her father."

"Huh." He thought about it, nodding slowly. "Maybe you're right." _And maybe_, he added to himself,_ I need it even more than she does._

**NCIS**

Completely rattled from the memories and entire experience, Ziva refused all food and only wanted tea once home. Tony obligingly made the hot drink and placed it in her hands, resting his palm on her shoulder. "Are you sure honey? I can make anything you want."

She shook her head. "I'm not hungry." She managed a few sips of the steaming brew, then kissed his cheek and went for a shower. She was curled up in bed by the time he finished his and after he climbed in bed she lifted her hand and almost reached for Moses, but appeared to change her mind as if remembering their deal. Since her next move was not to reach out to him, Tony wrapped himself around her and awaited a reaction. She was harder to read than usual tonight and he had no idea exactly what was going through her mind. It pleased him to hear her little sigh of relief that told him she'd wanted the comfort of his present and security of his embrace but couldn't make herself ask for it.

He kissed behind her ear and held her tighter. "I love you Zi. Remember that no matter what you're thinking right now, okay?"

Ziva shuddered and suddenly flung her hand out to touch the lamp on her side, having tolerated as much darkness as she could handle. There'd been far too much of that already tonight. Still seeing enough shadows to bother anyone who had been frightened before now, Tony did the same on his side and ventured to ask, "What else would help sweetheart?"

"I want to wear my rings," she stated decisively," finally rolling to face him. "Everything must be different from what is in my head neshama, please."

He pressed his lips ever so gently to hers. "We'll do whatever we have to, I promise." Reaching across her, he found the little blue box in the corner of her nightstand drawer and cracked it open. She held her hand out and he slid the rings on slowly one at a time. Before she even asked he got his too, then gently pulled her back against his chest and wrapped both of his arms around her. "Better?" he whispered against her hair.

There was a glimmer of a smile in her voice. "I think I saw this position in _Pretty Woman_."

Tony chuckled softly. "Well, it is a classic."

She leaned her head back. "Have you seen every movie ever made?"

"That would be nearly impossible sweetheart. There's gotta be at least half a million films in existence, probably more. Even I wouldn't try for such an undertaking."

"If you had to guess, how many do you think you have seen?"

"Whew." Tony stared at the ceiling. "Since I was seven and my mom introduced me to the old films I fell in love with, since I was four or five and first saw a Disney movie? I don't know babe, a few thousand maybe? I mean, we're talking thirty years of dedicated film watching here."

Ziva shook her head slightly. "I barely saw any while I was growing up. Some TV shows, I suppose, and maybe a couple movies here and there. I spent my childhood outside running and playing and drawing. I hardly gave films much of a thought until I came to DC and met you."

"And found out what you were missing out on?" he murmured in her ear.

"Hmm...I don't know if I discovered a love of movies as much as the gift of companionship," she mused. "That first James Bond one we watched when you finally convinced me to spend more time together, so I would know who the best actor was to portray such an iconic hero. And then the black and white classics you introduced me to because you were trying to impress me. Scary ones to see if I would be afraid, chick flicks to learn how I handled emotions, suspense stories so you had an excuse to sit a little closer." Her smile was genuine. "Eventually I figured out what you were doing."

"I wanted to show you something I loved. And I didn't have a talent to display like you did in the kitchen, but I did possess extensive film knowledge. And I liked being able to teach and show you about new things, stuff you hadn't experienced before." Tony pressed his lips to her neck. "I think I started falling in love with you because you just listened. To every piece of trivia, all the plot information and background on characters, everything I had to say. You never told me to stop, never said it was enough and I was boring you. You just...listened."

"We were friends," Ziva countered. "That is what good friends do. They listen to what the other one cares about."

"What was your favourite, from the movies we watched that first year?"

She thought about the question. "Before we started dating when cuddling and kissing became part of the normal movie watching protocol? Or before when we just tried not to notice that we were sharing the same couch cushion?"

He gave a bit of a laugh. "Either one."

"I really like Julia Roberts, especially when she was young and wore her hair down and curly. So probably_ Pretty Woman_, and _Sleeping With the Enemy _except for the parts with her husband." She screwed up her face. "Him I could have done without."

"Can't have much of a movie without a bad guy," Tony observed.

"But the drama teacher, he was very sweet. And good looking too."

He wriggled his fingers across her ribs and she laughed out loud. "I'll thank you not to make those kinds of comments with your husband present Mrs. DiNozzo."

"What?" she asked innocently. "I did not say he was better looking than you."

"Oh yeah?" Tony nudged her onto her back, lowering his mouth to hers. The kiss was long, and deep, and incredibly heartfelt. "And not one of those famous starlets can hold a candle to you." This time she lifted her head and melded their lips again, soaking in everything about him and them that she loved. He brushed his hand over her hair. "I love you so much."

Ziva twisted her fingers into his chain. "I know." She slid her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry for tonight ahava. I should not have let it get to me so badly."

He pulled away and shook his head, laying a finger on her lips. "You don't get to be sorry for that Zi, not even a little bit. Do you see how far you've come since last September? Light-years, literally. I'd hardly even recognize you as the same woman. But you do not have to be perfect and you don't always have to be okay, I need you to know that." His expression was intensely earnest, eyes boring into hers. "I do not think any less of you for one brief setback. Do you hear me?"

She nodded, relaxing back into her place beside him. Gathering her into his embrace again, Tony whispered another 'I love you' and both closed their eyes, thankful for the sanctuary of each other to get through another shadow.

**NCIS**

**Friday February 18**

It took some doing, but Ziva managed to extricate herself from her husband's grasp the next morning and tiptoed into the office, tying her robe as she went. Rather than a video call this time, she picked up the receiver on their corded phone and keyed in the familiar number. Moments later, Nettie answered. "Shalom?"

"Boker tov Doda."

"Ziva." Nettie seemed surprised to hear her niece on the other end of the line. "Does this mean you are speaking to me again?"

"Not about that," she stated firmly, referring to their previous conversation about Eli's letters.

Allowing her to push that aside for now, Nettie continued as if there was nothing between them. "Although it is a pleasure to hear your voice at any time of day, when it is so early in the morning your time I do wonder about the reason. What is wrong motek?"

Appreciating the undeserved leniency her aunt was granting, Ziva cuddled back into the cushions. "Tony and I got trapped in a little room yesterday."

The lack of emotion she displayed with that statement told Nettie a lot. "How small of a room Zivi?"

Her words quavered. "Five by six."

Nettie sighed deeply. "The same size as-"

"My cell, yes," Ziva finished. "And if I had been alone in there I cannot imagine that I would be capable of holding a conversation today."

"No, I believe you are right." Being painfully reminded of the small box she thought she was going to die in, the cell that held so much torment, would likely have set the young woman back quite far. "But?"

She closed her eyes. "But my husband was there and he would not let me go back."

"I am ever grateful for your choice in a life-partner little bird. That man has loved you so well through all of this."

"He has," Ziva agreed. "I have never seen love like this before Doda, I did not know such a thing existed. I will spend my life trying to deserve what he gives."

"Perhaps you should instead spend your life trying to give it back," the older woman suggested.

"Yes," she replied thoughtfully. "You are right."

"Are you alright?" her aunt inquired.

"I am...disappointed in myself Doda. I thought...it has been so long since anything has caused a problem. There have been no nightmares in more than two months, no flashbacks, no intimacy issues, nothing. And yet all it takes is being trapped in a small space and all that progress seems to have disappeared."

Nettie clucked her tongue. "Did you have a bad dream last night?"

Ziva's brow furrowed. "Well...no. It was not a particularly restful sleep, but there were no memories attacking."

"Would you be willing to give yourself to your husband if he asked you today?"

Her cheeks warmed. "Probably by tonight."

"Then I do not see as you have anything to be disappointed by bat sheli. What is the problem?" _My girl._

Ziva blinked at her aunt's logic which had pretty much whittled away all her arguments. "I don't know. I suppose there is not much left."

"Do not get hung up on a minor setback Zivaleh. Look instead at how far you have come and where you are going. It is all that matters now."

"Yes," she said slowly. "Thank you."

"That is what I am here for." Nettie allowed herself a small smile of victory. "Now, is there anything else or should I send you back to bed with your husband?" After all, she had at least an hour before they needed to be up. And if she'd known about their later start time, they actually had about three hours.

Ziva chuckled. "I will let you send me back to bed. Toda raba Doda. Your insight is always appreciated."

"Not always," Nettie pointed out. "But we will leave that for another day. Ani ohevet otach."

"Gam ani," she replied, holding the phone loosely for a few seconds while the dial tone came through the speaker. Very soon after the call ended she carefully crawled back into bed with her husband, settling her head on his chest. Lulled back to sleep by his steady heartbeat, she didn't wake again until their alarm clock went off, then she groaned along with Tony.

"I wish we could just stay here all day."

He kissed her head and sighed, tightening the arm around her back. "Me too babe. Me too." Waiting to see if she had anything to say, he gently broached the topic. "I know it's not your favourite question honey but I have to ask, how're you doing after yesterday?"

Ziva dropped a kiss on his collarbone. "I am better than I should be. We are on the other side yakiri. I want to leave what happened in those hours last night there and not let it mar today. Hold me to that, please."

"I will," he managed, so proud of her he could barely speak. "At madhima oti." _You amaze me._

She sat up halfway to see his eyes. "Ahava, ata ha-adam hachi ha-ahuv alay." Confusion furrowed his brow and she placed her palm on his cheek. "It means you are the person I love the most. But it can also be translated you are my favourite. Take whichever one you like best."

Tony grinned. "I'll take both, thank you." A final kiss was shared before they got out of bed and then the day began.

**NCIS**

They had agreed that Tony would go in a bit earlier than required this morning as arriving within minutes of each other consistently could eventually be deemed suspicious, so Ziva shared the elevator with McGee and he briefed her on what they'd missed after becoming the victims of the first booby-trap. She affected a disappointed tone. "I would've liked to see Gibbs shoot that computer."

She left out the part about after Tony calmed her down and they had time to remember the gunshots they'd heard following their entrapment and the worry that followed when they didn't know what had happened to their team leader. Thankfully he banged on the wall once all was said and done and required their status, so at least they knew he wasn't lying injured somewhere.

He shook his head. "Well, if I don't get his email working you may get a second chance."

Ziva rolled her eyes, interjecting enough annoyance into her words to be believable. "I almost shot Tony last night. We were stuck for almost three hours before the firemen were able to open up the doors." Her casual retelling of what happened belied the challenge of spending so long in the dark.

Gibbs, followed by Maxine and Tony, came towards them and veered into the bullpen. Maxine stopped in front of McGee and Tony headed for his desk, saying flirtily upon hearing her words. "And you loved every second of it."

Ziva almost smiled, but the look that passed between them was quite weighted. "Keep telling yourself that," she scoffed for Gibbs' benefit as she set down her bag.

"Hi," McGee said, taken aback by how happy she looked to see him.

Maxine smiled at him and he had to admit, she had a very nice smile. "Tony passed on your message."

Immediately wary, McGee's eyebrows rose. "Uh, he did?"

"Eight o'clock works great."

Hoping he didn't look as confused as he felt, Tim nodded. "Right. Sure. Okay."

"See you then." She hesitated a moment, then stepped closer and pressed her lips to his cheek. "Thank you."

Once Maxine was in the elevator McGee turned to his co-workers who both looked a little too pleased with themselves. "What just happened?"

Tony leaned on the partition. "Laser tag. You have a date."

McGee stared at him. "You didn't."

"Oh yes I did," the senior field agent grinned.

Tim got a little closer and Tony waited to see his reaction. Finally the probie nodded once. "Thanks Tony."

"Don't mention it." He shared a look of victory with his wife and could tell she was proud of him for helping out a friend, but when her eyes flickered towards the back elevator he easily discerned the direction of her thoughts.

_Maybe we should have been encouraging him towards Abby instead._

Tony shrugged. _Something's gotta give. It was time to shake things up. If nothing else, it'll make them see what they mean to each other._

She tilted her head. _A new person in the mix is bound to garner some sort of reaction. I just hope we have not started something we cannot take back._

Mouthing, _You worry too much_, he finally sat down, glad that for once everyone was getting along.

Then Gibbs' computer started beeping and he slapped it hard, barking, "McGee! I hate this thing!"

Rushing forward with a look of panic on his face, McGee held out his hand. "Boss! Don't shoot!" And Tony and Ziva got a good laugh at their loveable probie's expense.

**NCIS**

The letter from Eli sat unnoticed in the office garbage can for three days, but Tony glimpsed the familiar envelope when he went to use his laptop and added it to the stash he was developing. Then he decided to get a headstart on changing all the garbages in the house for Monday so as not to make his wife suspicious about why he'd only done that one. If Ziva noticed he'd been a little more diligent about that task in the past few months she said nothing, only kissed his cheek and thanked him as he collected everything and left it in the larger garage receptacle.

Leaning on one of the shelves, Tony wondered if she'd be so thankful if she knew his ulterior motive for doing the chore. And how exactly was he supposed to explain this to her when the time came to reveal what he'd done? Would she see it as a betrayal of her trust, hiding the letters from her? Would she be grateful they were saved if she ever reached a point of wanting to see what they were about? The unknown of the situation gnawed at him but Tony eventually decided to trust Nettie's judgement on the whole thing. After all, she hadn't steered them wrong yet.

**NCIS**

**Saturday February 19**

The group dinner took place early in February on account of Tony and Ziva having an on call weekend for the last one of the month. After everyone finished eating and the kids had left to play downstairs with Cody and Meira, Mark scanned the table. "So, we've got a PD Day on the twenty-fifth, who wants the amigos?"

Husbands and wives looked at each other, thinking through their schedules for the following Friday. But before any of the others could say something, Adrian grinned at Emma and shot up his hand. "Oh me, me! Pick me!"

Some of the guys snorted and Mark gave his friend a look of practiced patience. "Yes Zip?"

He cleared his throat. "Emma and I volunteer."

Mark shifted his gaze to Emma. "Are you sure?"

Adrian pouted. "Why are you checking?"

"Because I've known you for twenty years. If you thought you'd volunteer first and ask Emma later, I wanted to save you getting in trouble with your wife."

Emma smiled and laced her fingers through Adrian's. "It's fine Mark. We've been talking about having all three of them for ages, this is a good opportunity."

"What about work?"

Adrian shrugged. "Easy enough to take a day off when I work for myself." His brow furrowed and he turned to Emma. "But Eden Center is usually busier on PD Days, right? I know you bring Erin and Chet in for the school age kids." Once upon a time Erin had been once of Emma's day care kids along with her twin brother Chet. Now they were all grown up and almost finished high school, but on PD Days both were happy for the opportunity to make some extra money by spending the day corralling a rambunctious group of six to eleven year olds in another part of the building.

"Between them and my regular ladies we'll be fine. Amy and Corinne are great, the experience will be good for our student Lauren, and I'll pull Julia in as well to keep the numbers even. She's always happy for some extra time."

"Okay then, it's settled," Mark declared. "Darien, what did you bring us for dessert?" The big brown man had refused to unveil his creation until after the food.

Retrieving a stack of plastic containers from the entry, he set them on the island. "I've had a bit more free lately, so you get a smorgasbord." Pulling off the lids revealed cinnamon buns, mini cheesecakes, and a batch of brownies.

Tony's eyebrows lifted. "Geez man, you should retire more often if this is what happens."

Jordan, sitting closest, shoved him. "Tact D. Normally Adrian's the one we have to worry about."

Tony spread his hands innocently. "What? I'm just saying."

The rest rolled their eyes and Darien gestured to Cassie. "Hostess gets first pick."

To no one's surprise, she took a little of everything, then the rest of the wives joined the line. As husbands got up to take their turn, CJ glanced at Cassie. "Should we call the kids?"

She shook her head, mouth full. "Nope," she mumbled. "This is our reward for taking care of them. If there's stuff leftover we can send a small plate downstairs. I know none of us want munchkins on a sugar high right before we want them to go to bed."

The adults all approved of her plan and three of each dessert were send down for the amigos to enjoy with their movie. They'd gotten tired of waiting for the older people to be ready and chose one for themselves. Since that changed their regular routine, Mark and Cassie broke out a couple card and boardgames and they all enjoyed some simple fun and a chance to spend time together relaxing and catching up.

Afterwards Ziva kissed Darien on the cheek when they were getting ready to go. "Thank you for our treats Darien. You are a sweet man."

"No pun intended," Tony chuckled, offering his friend a handshake and hug. "We're gonna miss having you around while you're down South, but I really think this is going to be a good change for you Red. It's finally a chance to see there's more to life than football."

"Have you found a new place yet?" Ziva asked, tying her scarf.

Word traveled fast in the gang so Darien wasn't surprised they all knew his plan for after retirement. He shrugged. "Nah. I'm not gonna rush it. Probably won't even start looking seriously until I get back. Besides," he grinned, "April is much nicer weather for accommodation hunting for those of us who don't like the cold." Darien winked at Ziva.

Goodbyes were shared with all the rest, especially the kids, and they gently tugged their dog away from her favourite playmate. Tony slung his arm around Ziva's shoulders on the way out to the car. It had been the perfect way to spend a Saturday night. Life didn't get any better than having a great family to share it with.

**NCIS**

When his cell phone rang late Saturday evening while he was in the kitchen making coffee, Gibbs hoped it wasn't for a new case. Usually he relished the work and the consuming way it didn't allow time for any of his thoughts to dog him, but it had been a long couple of days and right now he just wanted a quiet night without anything else going on. Without bothering to look at the screen, he flipped it open, trying to prepare himself for whatever new body had been found. "Yeah, Gibbs."

There was a pause, then, "Hello Jethro."

"Les?" He frowned, checking the calendar hanging on the wall behind him. It definitely was not her turn to call tonight. "Something wrong?"

"Yes," she said softly, "there is."

She didn't elaborate and Gibbs forced himself to be patient like he would be with one of the girls. "Okay. Wanna tell me about it?"

"I know how you feel about apologies Jethro, but that rule has never applied to us."

His brow furrowed. She was one of the least offensive people he'd ever known, what could she possibly be apologizing for? Instead of speaking he simply waited and eventually a small sigh reached his ears.

"I haven't been making our conversations a priority lately, and for that I'm sorry."

Gibbs would be lying if he said the calls she'd missed over that last few months hadn't affected him at all, but right now he was more interested in the reason. "Why?" If he was that kind of man, which he wasn't, he'd be very close to begging her not to back out of this now. She'd too often disappeared from his life over the last two decades and he wanted a guarantee she wouldn't do it again.

Celeste twined the cord around her fingers. "I've been having a crisis of confidence lately." She stared towards the window where the sun was just beginning to set. "There are days, too many of them, when I am still so afraid this will all lead to nothing. And I can't tell you the number of times I've picked up the phone and have not been able to make myself dial your number." She closed her eyes, wishing this was easier. "My heart is really fragile when it comes to you Jethro and it scares me to feel so vulnerable again."

He dragged a hand over his face and rested back on the counter. "I know." He'd done a number on her the first time and that kind of hurt didn't heal easily.

Leaning her head back against the couch, she held a staring contest with the ceiling. "So now what?" The silence really wasn't reassuring and her shoulders sagged. "Please tell me something."

Letting out a breath, Gibbs gave her yet another glimpse inside his heart. "This isn't easy for me either Les, but I'll try." He scraped his fingers through the back of his hair. "I'm committed to whatever it is we become, I give you my word on that. We've worked so hard to get to this point, going back now would be a waste of these past seven months. I don't know when, but we will get somewhere significant eventually." He closed his eyes and added the most important part. "I want you in my life. And not just across the country and over the phone. So let that sink in, because I'm not giving up this time."

She wouldn't tell him about the tears streaking down her cheeks or the joy she felt finally hearing something real from him. "Thank you," she whispered, though that didn't seem significant enough when she knew how hard it was for her ex-husband to open up.

_You're worth it_, he thought, but didn't say that one out loud. "Do you trust me?"

The question hardly needed to be asked. "Of course."

"Then believe me. And next time pick up the darn phone instead of leaving me hanging."

Celeste winced. "Yes Sir."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Don't 'Sir' me."

"Shall I pull an Abby and call you 'Ma'am' instead?" she inquired, stifling a giggle.

"Only if I can start headslapping you like I do my agents."

"Pass," she said lightly, not taking him too seriously. Then she got more comfortable, all her earlier tension draining away, and began a normal topic. "So tell me Agent Gibbs, now that I've cancelled my plans because I'd rather spend the time with you, I hope you have some entertaining stories for me."

Heading downstairs so he could work out some of the stress that had been building over the last several moments, he could only shake his head. "What's the choice this time?" He refused to dwell on what she'd let slip, that she had definitely made him important tonight by picking the call over whatever else she could've done. They'd said enough for one night.

"Bootcamp," Celeste selected with far too much glee in her voice. "I want to hear about young Private Gibbs and what it was like before anyone put him in charge."

Grabbing a plane, Gibbs put the phone on speaker and prepared for a trip down memory lane, exceedingly grateful he still had that chance.

**NCIS**

**Sunday February 20**

While their guys sweated through a free throw competition and rousing game of three on three, the wives of the group gathered on the bleachers in anticipation of sharing their Valentine's Day celebrations with each other. Meanwhile, all three kids were busy playing Go Fish and Crazy Eights off to the side. "Well," Cassie asked eagerly, "how did you all observe the holiday?"

Allie glanced over her shoulder at her husband with the others. "Jordan took the afternoon off and brought me flowers at work. My boss was impressed enough to let me leave early, so he took me out for a late lunch at this new café and we took in an exhibit dedicated to history's greatest love stories." Her smile was a bit dreamy. "He made me feel so special."

Presuming that they would go on order based on where they landed in the circle, Emma took the next turn. "Adrian bought a package of these grade school Valentines and left a trail all through the house for me to follow when I got home. There was a candlelight picnic set up in our room accompanied by a playlist of love songs." She lifted her eyebrows. "He even cooked, I was really impressed."

CJ's gaze also landed on her man. "Thanks to Darien taking the kids we had Saturday night and all day Sunday to ourselves. We went to see a play, then out for expensive desserts at a fancy restaurant, and exchanged presents at midnight. It was very romantic."

Ziva turned her rings around slowly. "We decided not to do anything big this year, which is good because work went late as it is prone to do on special occasions. Tony and I ordered in, watched a sweet movie, and danced in our room before bed." Her eyes flickered to her husband as a soft smile claimed her lips. "We do not always have to do something extravagant for it to feel like a special occasion. Each day I fall asleep in his arms is special to me."

At that Cassie completely melted. "Aww. What a nice thing to say!"

Allie nudged her. "How about you and Mark?"

Cassie pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. "Definitely part of what made it great was having the house to ourselves for that length of time. Mark ran me a bubble bath after the kids left and when I came in there were rose petals floating on the water and candles lit all around the room. He lined up one each of my favourite chocolates along the edge of the tub and we took turns sharing them with each other. Afterwards we curled up on the loveseat in our room and he held my hands and read a few of my favourite romantic poems." She bit her lip and searched him out for a moment on the court. "After this many years of marriage I don't know how he manages to make it brand new every time, but I love him for putting so much effort into continually winning my heart."

Allie threw up her hands. "Well, there's no competing with that!"

The girls all laughed and Ziva looked around at each one. "I noticed that none of us spoke about what happened after the lights went out, but I would venture a guess that we all tried to make it special for them also."

Some cheeks were tinted red but very little beyond a mumbled, "Well, they deserved it too," came from any of them.

"Girls," Cassie said seriously, "we need to be sure never to take for granted the husbands that we have. Not all women are as blessed to have guys that love them like ours do."

"Yes," Ziva agreed firmly. "I never knew what a gift it would be to have this life, but I would not give up Tony for anything else in the world. Not even to erase some of the painful parts of my past. He is worth more than all the hurts put together."

Cassie squeezed her hand and they all let a moment of silence rest before lightening the mood a little and laughing about disastrous dates they'd had before meeting the men they married.

Ziva noticed after the game was over that Tony kept looking at her almost in awe and her brow furrowed, not certain what she'd done to merit such an expression. He didn't mention anything about their time at the community center until later in the evening when she lay back against his chest on the couch, sitting between his knees at the center of his embrace. He sighed quietly and kissed her neck. "I don't know how you could say what you did earlier Zi, about me being worth all the pain you've been through. It's too much. I can't...I don't see how I can possibly deserve that."

Twisting in his arms, she looked back at them. "You could not have heard what I said." Not only had they all been talking extra quietly, but with the squeak of shoes on the gym floor and the sound of the ball, not to mention all the noise the guys were making as they blocked and ran and pivoted and shot...even with impeccable auditory capabilities it would've been near to impossible.

Tony smiled against her skin. "I guess I never mentioned I can read lips?"

Her own parted in shock, Ziva turned around fully. "No you did not! How long have you been hiding this talent?" And how, in the duration of their marriage, had she never known about it?"

He shrugged. "About eight years."

"You're joking."

Tony shook his head slowly. "Nope. It was actually Abby's doing. When I first started at NCIS, after those initial few months when she was still getting used to me, she would take me into Observation and we spied on random interrogations with the sound off so she could teach me the basics."

Ziva still couldn't get over not knowing. "Where did that come from?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well...she uh, caught me saying something maybe slightly less than appropriate about her attire to one of the other guys. Of course, as she'd been across the room and behind a partition I didn't notice her, but I sure noticed when she cornered me later and slapped the smirk off my face. I tried to play it off like I didn't know what she was talking about but then she repeated it word for word and I just kinda stared at her, stunned for awhile, before asking how she knew that. One thing led to another and instead of reporting my behaviour to Gibbs and waiting for him to maim me, she decided we were going to be friends. Not too long after that I asked if she'd teach me because I thought the skill might come in handy for an ex-cop turned federal agent."

She blinked slowly. "It must've taken some time to master."

Tony nodded. "Yeah. I guess about two years. I honed my lipreading skills through hours of practice and got to be fairly capable. I was kinda proud of myself for getting the hang of it, because when I first started I thought learning was a lost cause." He rolled his eyes. "But since I'm a natural born snoop I persevered thinking how much fun I'd have eavesdropping on other people's conversations. Heaven help us."

Ziva drew her finger down his shirt. "I still do not see why you never mentioned it."

"I guess it never came up?" She frowned and he pursed his lips. "I didn't tell you at first because I didn't want to miss being able to spy on you. But after we got to know each other as friends and then started dating, by then I was trying to change and I didn't want to sound like I was bragging. There was really never a good time to just drop something like that into the conversation."

She framed his face with her hands, shaking her head slightly. "Will you always be able to surprise me like this ahava?"

Tony chuckled. "Well, I hope I'll still have a few surprises left when we've been married fifty years, but I can't make any guarantees." The way Ziva kissed him, so soft and tender and sweet, quite literally took his breath away. "Whoa. What was that for?"

Tears gathered in her eyes. "I meant every word. You will always be worth, and make up for, every bad thing that has happened in my life. Neshama, since I met you there has been nothing but good."

He grasped her wrists. "Don't say that Zi, you can't. How much less trouble would be in your life if our paths hadn't crossed? No Jeanne assignment to break your heart, no old friends dying, no being left to rot in a terrorist camp-"

Ziva stopped him before he could go on. "Tony, if our paths had not crossed I would be dead."

She said it with such conviction and he stilled. "What?"

"If I had not been assigned to NCIS, Eli would have continued to send me on missions, each one more dangerous than the last. I have no doubts that death would have occurred long before my thirtieth birthday and I would never have known what I was missing out on." She brushed her lips across his. "Loving you saved me ahava, in more ways than you will ever know."

Tony grabbed her tight against his chest, his whole body shuddering with the truth of that realization. "I don't even have the words to say how grateful I am for you Ziva. Thank you for taking a chance, for giving us this chance."

"And I will say the same to you," she whispered. "I love you vita mia, I love you so very much."

"Babe," he choked out, "sei il mio cuore, tutta mia vita." _You are my heart/my whole life._

Ziva held him just as tightly. "I know. Just as you are to me. And I cherish your love, my place in your heart. There is no greater gift."

How long they sat on the couch just holding each other and basking in their love neither could say, but it was another one of those priceless moments for Ziva to put in her journal. That night, along with so many others, were moments she never wanted to forget.

**NCIS**

**Monday February 21**

McGee went down to the lab at quitting time and stood outside, trying to find the courage to enter. "No lurking without a permit," came Abby's voice from inside, but it was several levels down from chipper and he noticed the music was off. Never a good sign.

Stepping through the door, he found Abby in the second room at her desk, looking about as happy as her tone indicated. "I heard you made good use of your Friday night." The one they purposefully kept free for plans either of them had, except those plans were not supposed to include dates with other people. Although after hearing that he had gone out on a date, she'd spent the weekend wondering if she'd lost her last chance with him.

Tim shouldn't have been surprised that the grapevine was functioning so well. "Yeah, uh, Tony set that up."

"And you had no argument." She still had yet to look at him. "So what are you doing down here? Can't imagine your little girlfriend would want you fraternizing with a co-worker."

"She's not my girlfriend," McGee protested.

"But she means something to you."

"Something, yes," he nodded. "I just don't know what yet."

"Right." Abby gestured to him standing there. "You didn't answer my question."

"Well, I know we're supposed to have dinner tonight but I-I was thinking maybe we should take a break from that...for awhile." Especially since he and Maxine had planned to go out for a meal after work.

"Oh." She'd been expecting something along those lines, but hearing it out loud was even worse.

"Is there something wrong?" McGee ventured, though he kind of already knew.

Abby got up and paced into the main part of the lab. "Uh, yes. No. I mean..." she trailed off and sighed. After four months of getting together twice a week as a regular thing, she'd been absolutely certain they were finally getting somewhere. But he'd been acting weird since Valentine's Day and now it seemed he wasn't going that direction at all anymore. Squaring her shoulders, she did what needed to be done. The choice had to be his and if he didn't want this than...neither did she. "I agree."

Tim's eyebrows jumped up. "You do?"

"Yes. In fact, movie nights should probably go too. You wouldn't want Maxine to get the wrong idea." She flapped her hands at him. "Now shoo. I've got work to do McGee."

He touched her shoulder, reluctant to leave things like this and wishing he was brave enough to give in for once. "Abby..."

She smiled sadly. "I know Timmy. We had our chance and I blew it." Her lips trembled with the effort to suppress tears and she spun away. For one minute her resolve drained away and she sighed. "It just...would have been nice to have someone to kiss goodnight, you know?"

Even though he was the one running scared this time, afraid to trust his heart to her when it was broken so long the last time, McGee couldn't mistake the truth in her words. "Yeah, I've uh...felt that way myself."

Abby nodded. "Well now you have your chance. Goodbye McGee." Then she turned her attention to her computer screen and watched his reflection slowly retreat from the room.

"See you tomorrow," he murmured. But Abby knew now that tomorrow would never be the same, would maybe never become what she'd someday hoped for, and that was a bitter pill to swallow.

As soon as she was alone she sealed the lab, went back to her desk, and dropped her head in her hands, berating herself for losing yet another opportunity with Tim. Should she have fought harder for him? The next thought trampled that one into the dust. No, he had to want this. He had to want them more than anything else. It had to be his turn to make that step, she couldn't do it for him. There was no use fighting until he decided this was what he wanted, that she was the only one he wanted. Until then she'd have to hope with all her heart that it wasn't too late.

Hours later when she ran out of the ability to convince herself she was fine, Abby turned up at Gibbs' door in black and white bat pyjamas, cradling Bert against her chest. He stared at her a moment, then drew her gently inside. "It's cold outside Abbs."

She swallowed. "It's cold everywhere."

The meaning was lost on him, but it sounded more significant than just the temperature. "Want some hot chocolate?" Abby shook her head and at that point tears began leaking down her cheeks. Heaving a sigh Gibbs wrapped his arm around her shoulders and brought her into his chest. Abby clung to him and let the grief pour out, continuing to find solace in his solid, steady presence when they retired to the couch and she eventually fell asleep while he held her. She didn't tell him what brought her to him and Gibbs didn't ask, sometimes it was better that way. She was gone when he woke up in the middle of the night, with only a red lip print on his cheek to say she'd been there, and he began to seriously wonder what he'd be facing when he got to work in the morning.

**NCIS**

During a relatively normal evening, Tony and Ziva were sitting on the couch with his arm around her shoulders watching an episode of _The Mentalist_. In one scene a hypnotized male agent was encouraged to do whatever he wanted most and in a surprising turn of events he strode across the room and kissed the female agent from his own team that he was in love with (even though agent relationships were forbidden) in front of the whole group.

Seeing as the situation was similar to their own predicament, they found the whole thing quite amusing. Tony laughed. "Now why didn't I think of that?"

His wife chuckled. "Can you imagine the looks we would get?"

"Not to mention the headslaps."

"I think McGee might actually fall over."

"Yeah," Tony scoffed. "And then get up and write that Tommy and Lisa scene right into his next book."

Ziva ran her fingers down his shirt. "Do you ever think we should read the ones that came after Rock Hollow, just to see what he has done with us?"

Tony grimaced. "Some things I think we're better off not knowing babe. McGee's free thinking makes me a little nervous."

"Well," she decided, "I suppose there are worse things than being inaccurately immortalized in fiction."

He almost said 'name one' except right away a whole bunch of worse things flooded his mind and he refrained from voicing the thought out loud. "They do say the truth is stranger than fiction. No one would actually believe that what we've managed to pull off could happen in real life."

"They will," Ziva mused, "someday."

"Yeah?" he absently tugged a curl. "Any idea about which day that might be yet?"

Since their reasons remained virtually unchanged from the last time it came up, she could only shrug. "If you are ready to sit across from someone else or look at a whole other team, we could tell everyone tomorrow."

Tony had to think about that for all of two seconds. "Uh, yeah no. I'm good."

"That is my answer as well. Can we not bring it up again unless the subject makes an appearance by itself?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Let's let sleeping dogs lie."

Ziva glanced at their sleeping dog, but didn't bother trying to clarify the idiom. Tonight was just about them and she refuse to ruin it with any more 'what ifs'.

_Replies:_

_DensiFrenzy - thank you, that's really nice to hear. I'm so glad you're enjoying it. After 8 years they blew us off with one kiss...that was not fulfilling, for me anyways. A nice visual but a lame way to try and pacify Tiva fans. *sigh* Thank good ness for FF. Yeah, I just heard about that recently myself. I'll be really surprised if NCIS keeps going without 2 of their core cast, but I said that last time too so who knows. I'm here as long as God allows and continues to provide inspiration. I hope to be done this part of MIT by the end of April so we'll see how that goes. Thank you, that's very sweet :) Oh yeah, Dawson's Creek. I thought that was where the quote came from but wasn't really sure. Glad you liked it. Happy to help ;) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Sue Dooley - thank you, that's nice of you to say. I'm really glad you're enjoying the chapters. If only... You're welcome. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Allie - gifts are actually quite a challenge sometimes, so I'm glad you like them. I think a lot of the NCIS characters probably have more of their actors in them than we'll ever know. That's how I see it when I write, like a movie playing in my head. I can't take credit for it when the inspiration and ability comes from God, but I'm so thankful He allows me this gift :) You are very welcome. Oh good, at least you're somewhere warm for the winter...or at least as warm as it ever gets in Southern Ontario. How much longer does he think it will take to finish? Is that a permanent place to move once it's complete? Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - Hi :) I'm glad you liked that part. The scrapbooks will play an important part later on, for now I just wanted people to remember they had them. I've been hanging onto that soulmates quote for awhile, it's nice to finally use some of the stuff that's been kicking around in my story notes for months. Z's goal this year was to really focus on T and make him feel loved the way he always does for her. Right now I'd say she's doing a pretty good job :) Well...hard to say which one, G or C, is to blame for the current predicament. Technically neither one of them have done anything wrong. There's a lot of history, they're both scared of messing things up. It's a lot to deal with. They'll get back on track. They're the oldest and most mature couple in the story right now, hopefully that gives them more wisdom too. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	42. 8x17 One Last Score

**Tuesday February 22**

Gibbs got to headquarters early the next day, determined to get to the bottom of Abby's behaviour the previous night. Instead of the traditional Caf-Pow he brought her a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream, something of a comfort treat for the usually bubbly forensic scientist and one he'd occasionally indulged her with over the years. He found Abby occupying her inner office and sitting crosslegged on a chair in front of her computer. The door beeped and whooshed open and she looked up glumly.

"Hi Gibbs."

The most noticeable absence was of her eardrum shattering death-metal. "Kinda quiet in here."

She shrugged. "Yeah. Just wasn't feeling it this morning, you know?"

He crouched down beside her chair and held up the cup. "No. I don't know. But I'd like to."

Abby shifted her gaze away from him. "It's stupid. You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

She sniffed and shook her head. "I can't."

His brow furrowed and he touched her knee gently. "Somebody hurt you Abby?"

"Not the way you mean."

Gibbs gave her one of his patented looks. "Doesn't have to be the physical kind."

Abby sighed. "Stop looking at me like that Gibbs. I'm not going to tell. Not even if you stay there and stare at me all day. I won't. It's dumb and I don't want to talk about it. I'll be fine. Really."

He stood and bent to kiss her head. "That would be more believable if you weren't crying."

Hastily she swiped at a couple escaped tears. "Please go away."

Resigning himself to giving in for now, he waited until her eyes lifted and flashed her the sign for 'I love you'. "I'll be here if you need me Abbs."

Her whispered, "I know," reached his ears as he walked away but that didn't make him feel any better. First one of his girls was hurting then the other, and so far he hadn't been able to do anything for either one of them.

All through the day he puzzled over the situation, trying to pinpoint something from yesterday that could have bothered her to this point. But nothing jumped out at him and he was left feeling stumped, not a state Gibbs was familiar with or easily accepted. However, as time passed he began to notice a strange pattern developing. McGee, for whom routine was second nature, headed for the back elevator around lunch as he and Abby often spent that time together when they weren't actively pursuing the solution to a case. He got about halfway there, stopped, turned around, hesitated, and slowly returned to his desk where he picked at this food for awhile before trashing it and pulling up a program on his computer.

If that wasn't odd enough, twice when Abby called either needing company or an assistant or someone to check the details of an old case with instead of immediately volunteering and taking off so no one else beat him to the punch, McGee kept silent or suggested Tony or Ziva go. All highly unusual. As was Tony's observation later on that their probie hadn't even gone near the lab the entire workday, accompanied by his contemplative, "I wonder if they're fighting?"

And although he was addressing his partner and not their boss, Gibbs still heard him and wondered if it was an accurate point. But a fight wouldn't explain the level of distress he'd seen in Abby last night and this morning so he dismissed that and hoped, as he left for his last coffee of the day, that whatever the problem was they got it sorted out soon. He didn't like the way things were right now, not one bit.

**NCIS**

The clock reached nine pm with everyone still at the office. Things had wound down for the day but Ziva was watching the news while McGee backed up the bullpen computers and waiting for Tony to return from the head. Remotes in both hands, Tim went to town on the monitors like a six-shooter and even though she was annoyed to have her evening news fix interrupted, his antics were amusing. Not that he needed to know that. "McGee! I was watching that!"

He seemed unconcerned. "Not anymore. Time to hit the showers."

The saying was lost on her. "Is your shower not working?"

McGee frowned. "Why? Do I smell?"

Annoyance crept over her at the language gap. "I cannot smell you from here."

"And you're part bloodhound."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "So Tony says." She walked towards him. "Come closer." To his surprise she pushed her nose into his chest and sniffed.

Tony came around the corner right at that moment, both eyebrows jumping up. "Well, what do we have here? I don't know about the rest of you, but this looks like a definite yellow light situation. Anyone else see the inappropriate that is Ziva..." He trailed off and scrutinized them. "What were you doing?"

Tim cleared his throat and moved back a step. "I think we're having a communication breakdown over the phrase 'time to hit the showers'."

The senior field agent chuckled as he slid on his badge and gun. "Oh, am I familiar with that one. It's a favourite with coaches after sports' practice."

Ziva felt a bit lost but continued as if Tony hadn't spoken. "You smell fine McGee."

He smiled. "Thank you Ziva."

"McGee's shower is broken," she informed their teammate.

Now it was Tim's turn to be confused. "No, it's not. I said it was late and it's time to-"

"Hit the showers," Tony jumped in right on cue.

"Yeah."

Ziva's bewildered expression suddenly morphed into the one indicating a lightbulb had gone on. "Oh! It's an expression." Tony sighed and rolled his eyes heavenwards, silently showing she was a lost cause. She continued towards her desk. "But hitting things does fix them."

"Only according to Gibbs, particularly where computers are involved."

McGee winced at the reminder of recent technological trauma and the other memories that case recalled, particularly what began this rift between him and Abby. He threw a glance over his shoulder at the back elevator, thinking how strange and foreign it felt to leave without talking to his best friend. Nights that they left without him walking Abby to her car were rare but he had a feeling they were about to become a whole lot more the norm now.

Oblivious to his discomfort the partners headed out together, their faithful probie lagging several steps behind. "So," Ziva began, following in a similar vein as the first conversation as she glanced over her husband, "did you shower today?"

Tony glanced sideways at her, appreciating her boldness. Usually he was the one bringing up private topics around other people and trying to camouflage his purpose. "Not yet."

She wrinkled her nose. "You should."

He looked her up and down. "Is that an offer Agent David?" The next second he yelped and leaned away, rubbing his shoulder while McGee laughed. Granted, he did sort of deserve the punch for making a comment like that at work.

While waiting for the elevator to arrive they watched the crew moving things around on the other side of the partition. "Vance is making some changes," McGee shared the scuttlebutt he'd heard earlier. "Apparently we're losing people."

Any kind of change made Tony itchy and he adjusted his shirt collar. The doors opened to reveal Gibbs and his ever present cup of coffee. He stared at them. "Good, you've got your gear. Crime scene's waiting, let's go."

Inaudible sighs were released as the team followed him. They had been so close to going home but those hopes were now dashed. At least there was very little travel involved, seeing as the victim was in their parking garage. The shower topic was still open when they arrived downstairs and Jimmy got a turn to comment on his routine as they rescued him from being stuck under the car. "Usually in the morning, always after work, sometimes in the afternoon depending on what we're working on. All in all, I shower about eighteen, nineteen times per week."

At the disbelief on their faces he shook his head. "Not now. I mean, I used to but Breena's been encouraging me to cut back and save water, be a little more environmentally friendly. I guess it does make more sense to shower at night after we've done all the dirty work during the day." Jimmy chuckled. "No point coming in freshly clean and getting gross from autopsies and crime scenes." He turned to Ducky. "And you Doctor?"

"I believe a person's hygiene regimen is private Mr. Palmer. If you would be so kind as to help me with this body bag, we can take our patient back to Autopsy."

Suitably chastised Jimmy got back to work, but Tony wasn't so easily distracted. "What about you David? When do you feel like showering?"

Ziva smirked at him. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes." He paused. "Do you ever use the locker room showers here?"

One manicured eyebrow arched. "Are you trying to sneak me Tony?"

She meant 'creep' but he didn't bother with a correction. He loved the way she talked. Tony gave her a lecherous grin. "Maybe I am."

Ziva tossed her hair, which had just been released from a bun now that they were done collecting evidence. "That is privileged information."

He sighed. "Too bad."

Across the garage McGee followed Gibbs as he aimed the remote keychain around, hoping to find the car their dead guy had driven in. "I used to shower in the mornings, but when I left the house with wet hair and it was cold outside I'd get a stiff neck. Apparently that's not just an old wives' tale. Then I started blowdrying, but Tony noticed I was using a hair dryer and wouldn't let me hear the end of it. Of course-" At this point Gibbs finally turned around with a 'what gives?' expression and Tim decided he was done. Just in time too, because the right car beeped. And to their surprise the victim's trunk was full of stuff seized by NCIS. In addition to losing his job, the dead analyst had also looted the evidence locker.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday February 23**

Sleep had been grabbed at home in the dark hours of very early morning, as their processing of the scene had taken until midnight, but they were back at the office at normal time ready to run with the investigation. Which, after a painfully long conversation with Oliver Froman's stuttering boss, led them to a recent case involving Leona Phelps - who supposedly stole billions from the Naval Federal Credit Union she ran and ruined countless lives.

While Gibbs updated Leon in the director's office, Tony and Ziva were spitballing ideas in the squadroom about where their dead guy was headed with a trunkload of stolen goods. During a lull in ideas they finally noticed the new girl on the other side of the partition but disregarded her in favour of continuing the conversation. Sitting side by side they moved on to the topic of friends, since family had been dismissed. Ziva had checked his home and cell records though, nothing. "He would have called ahead."

Without even looking at them the woman inserted, "Not if he wanted to surprise them," even though in doing so she interrupted who she was on the phone with.

In tandem the partners glanced back at her, then returned to that line of thought. "What kind of friends? Did he have a criminal record?"

The blonde became fully engaged in the conversation and leaned on the wall, despite no one having invited her comments. "You can't have a criminal record and work for us."

Tony and Ziva turned completely this time instead of just looking over their shoulders, Ziva's expression decidedly less welcoming than Tony's. "And you...work for us?"

"For NCIS?" she clarified, as if Ziva could've been talking about something else. "EJ Barrett." She looked at Tony, waiting for his introduction.

He cleared his throat. "Tony DiNozzo."

Ziva looked between them, confused, then suddenly realized it was her turn. "Ziva David. Uh, you work in this office?"

EJ pointed behind her. "I think this is my desk right here. Hey, let me ask you - does the glare from that skylight bug you? Because it's a lot of light and I just-" The partners gazed at the ceiling like they'd never noticed skylights were part of the architecture and EJ pushed forcefully on her desk. "Is this thing bolted?"

Tony saw the dangerous way Ziva was beginning to look at the new girl and went for a distraction technique that would hopefully allow EJ to live through her first morning on the job. He touched her elbow, trying to shift her attention to him. "You know, how about if we, uh, go ask Abby and McGee if they wanna track down-" She wasn't listening and as her eyes narrowed he knew time was running out. "Let's take the stairs." He had to practically pull her away. "Seriously, we need some air." Guiding her towards the back stairwell and not letting her resistance deter him, Tony finally succeeded in putting a safe distance between the two women.

As soon as the door closed Ziva exploded. "Who does she think she is? You do not just insert yourself into a conversation, especially when the ones speaking have never seen you before." She crossed her arms. "Some people are so rude! I-"

Kind of amused at her rant but suspecting what the real reason was, Tony cupped her face and kissed her, deeply, cutting off her words and totally disarming her with one simple act. Ziva's frustrated stance relaxed and she slid her hands over his waist and up his back as she leaned into the caress. When he pulled away she blinked slowly. "What...was that for?"

Tony gave her a half-grin. "Distraction. How'm I doing?"

She smiled and tilted her face up. "Very well." The words were a murmur as their lips met again and parting required a bit more willpower than usual.

Folding his fingers between hers, Tony headed downstairs and Ziva matched his stride. "I liked that surprise."

He looked over. "Good to know."

"It is hard to believe that even with working ten feet away from each other and being together from waking to sleeping I can still miss kissing you."

Tony paused on a landing. "Babe, that is not a fair observation when we are stuck in this building."

Her free hand traveled up his chest. "There are some things you need to know as I think of them. Husbands should always be told what they are doing right."

They continued walking and he frowned. "Is there something I'm doing wrong?"

"Yes," Ziva chuckled, bumping his shoulder, "thinking too much. It was a compliment ahava."

"Oh. Okay." He wasn't always sure how to accept those, even from her.

Several steps later Ziva's thoughts drifted back to the squadroom and she bristled. "The nerve of that woman! Did you see her? She walked in like she owned the floor and just-" She made an exasperated noise when English words failed to express her frustration.

"This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that she's an attractive female and feels like competition, does it?"

Ziva stopped. "Do you think she is attractive?"

Tony sighed. "That's not what I meant and you know it." She remained quiet and he decided to let her vent. "Yes honey, I saw what happened." He tugged her forward. "You and I were having a conversation, trying to work something out."

"Yes," she agreed. "It is a violation. There is an expectation of privacy in our own office space."

"And she's just chatting away over the hedge."

"It is over the edge!"

He chuckled. "Actually the saying is 'over the top'. But she's pushing you over the edge."

Her forehead furrowed in the adorable confused expression that meant something got lost in translation. It made him want to kiss her again but they were out of the relative stairwell privacy now and he'd have to wait. He let go of her hand as they approached the lab. "You know what I think? We're probably not going to have to worry about her again. Gibbs will put her in her place the first time she does that around him and that'll be the end of it."

"I hope so," Ziva muttered as they walked in the door. McGee and Abby, standing rather stiffly a conspicuous distance apart when they were usually close enough their shoulders touched, turned at the sound of their voices. A dark eyebrow curved upwards. "What were you two talking about?"

"Tanning hides," Abby answered in monotone. "You?"

Ziva's gaze narrowed. "The same."

"Easy," Tony murmured, giving her a look. She immediately averted her eyes and the wheels he could see turning made him appropriately nervous. While their geek and goth provided a somewhat stilted update - tripping over each other's words rather than seamlessly finishing one another's sentences, yet another among many tell-tale signs that something had gone wrong - he wondered if he should start checking his wife for extra weapons and keep an eye on her hands with the new girl around. Vance would not see the humour in a personal injury lawsuit because his Israeli-American had impulse control issues.

**NCIS**

With evidence pointing to a heist at the warehouse where NCIS had relocated all of Leona Phelps' possessions after she swindled many retired soldiers out of their life savings, Tony and Ziva were tasked to check out the place and provide backup in event of a break in. Once the order was given and Gibbs and McGee planned to visit Leona, the woman across the way against commented on something no one was talking to her about and received a Gibbs' glare in response. Amazingly it had no effect, but the team still sat back to watch the train wreck that was coming.

Glancing at Tony and Ziva but finding no ally, she straightened. "Special Agent EJ Barrett. My team brought Phelps to Vance's attention."

Ziva regarded her in mild disbelief. "You have a team?"

She nodded. "I'm team leader."

"Where from?"

"Spain. Rota."

"You mean Rrrota." Ziva rolled the 'r' and the entire word quite nicely and Tony decided he could listen to her do that all day.

EJ tried to imitate the pronunciation but quickly gave up. "Yeah, I could never do that."

Finding out the new girl had gotten his job put Tony in a contemplative mood for the drive over. Having a good idea as to the direction of his thoughts, especially given the recent conversation they'd had on the subject, Ziva left him to them, occasionally rubbing her thumb across the back of his hand. He smiled in appreciation of her consideration when they arrived at the warehouse and kissed her palm. "Let's do this."

The security guard gave them some background and let them into the caged part housing Leona's belongings. About the time he found Steve McQueen's sunglasses from _The Thomas Crown Affair_ Tony stopped listening and, for the moment, completely forgot their objective of beefing up security. Ziva waited until the guard walked away before smacking her husband. "Tony!" she hissed.

He slid the sunglasses off and stared at them. "These things sold at a European auction a few years ago for seventy thousand dollars."

"That is ridiculous."

Tony opened his mouth to argue but she handed him a walkie talkie instead and they headed back to the command post together. Much later from the surveillance van they watched the security guard amuse himself with the toys he claimed they left alone despite the temptation and Tony mused on following the same routine day in and day out. The way he seemed unsatisfied with his life unnerved her and she put her hand on his arm. "What are your dreams Tony?"

He started like he hadn't realized she was still there and listening to him. "Huh?"

Her eyebrows drew together. "You make it sound as though something is missing. What would you be doing with your life is you were not at NCIS?"

Tony's attention immediately focused completely on her. "I am not unhappy with my life Ziva." He never wanted her to think their marriage wasn't everything he'd dreamed of. "I just sometimes..."

"Wish there was more?" she supplied.

He shrugged one shoulder. "Sure it would be nice to let everyone in on the secret, have the freedom to go away together without worrying about how it looks. And there's always-" But Tony stopped himself. Now was not the time to bring up children again, he was saving that conversation. "Well, sure I have dreams honey, who doesn't? But they're nothing I can't live without for awhile."

Ziva traced her fingers over his forehead and down one cheek. "Perhaps you should not have to."

Tony grabbed both her hands. "If I wasn't an agent I think I'd like to do something with film, be somewhere I can share my love of it with others who appreciate that art form." He chuckled. "Maybe Professor DiNardo wasn't so far off after all."

She smiled slightly. "I think you would make a good teacher Tony."

"What's yours?"

"Hmm?"

"I gave you mine. What's your pick? The one thing you'd do if you couldn't be here?" He didn't want to get all morose and mention they could be very well planning for their own future, depending on how Gibbs eventually took their news and what he chose to do about it.

Ziva stared at him blankly for several seconds, then shook her head. "I don't know."

Tony made a face. "Sure you do. There's got to be something."

She closed her eyes, remembering a little girl whose passion was found in graceful movements across a stage, then quickly shook it away. There was no going back. "I suppose...maybe I would be involved in art somehow. Or..." she glanced to the side but he wouldn't let it go.

"Or what?"

Ziva played with her anniversary ring. "All my life, since the day I became old enough to train, I have been a solider, a weapon, an instrument of justice however ill-perceived. I have never had the freedom to simply be. If I was not at NCIS, if money did not make the wish impossible, I believe I would like to see what it is to just be Ziva, with no other label attached."

He brought her hand to his lips. "A stay at home wife?"

She wrinkled her nose. "If you must put it that way."

Tony looked at her seriously. "I really hope someday I can give that to you." If she couldn't be watching his back, maybe she deserved the peace of watching life go by for awhile, instead of pushing full speed ahead in an effort to hold the high score for brightest and best, all to please a man who didn't care whether she lived or died.

Ziva regarded him fondly, then went back to the monitors. Hours passed before the alarms began going off, startling the partners out of their almost-bored-to-sleeping state. Motions sensors had been tripped and the two ran in with guns drawn, splitting up when they got inside the warehouse to cover more ground. To their surprise, instead of a pack of robbers only one silver haired man could be found. Tony rolled his eyes and walked around one large shelving unit. "Hey Boss. Couldn't call ahead?"

Gibbs spoke with his usual brevity. "Nope. I came in the way they came in." He walked along the wall, shining his flashlight at various items. "The heist isn't coming, they pulled it off already."

"What?"

"But nothing's missing," Ziva felt compelled to put in.

"No," Gibbs agreed. "Nothing on this list."

She looked around. "So what did they take?"

Gibbs studied the inventory sheet. "Phelps went straight to this page."

Tony tipped his head back, scanning the shelves. "So something interested her here, huh?"

"Well, there's a couple options." He turned around. "But I like this desk."

Ziva gasped, finding it on the paper. "It belonged to William Faulkner!" She sounded like Tony had about the sunglasses. "I love his writing."

"Total genius," Tony agreed.

She was too excited to notice he was being a little sarcastic. "Yes! It was worth learning English just for _The Sound and the Fury_. Or that chapter in _As I Lay Dying_. You know, the one with the five words where Vardaman says, 'My mother is a fish'."

Tony grimaced. "Well, actually, I'm more a fan of the movies he made based on other people's books. Like_ The Big Sleep _and _To Have and Have Not_. I mean, he gave us Bogie and Bacall."

Gibbs was busy ignoring them and examining the underneath of the desk. "Dovetail joints don't go with nails." He felt along a crack. "They've been here, it's been jimmied." He got back up. "There's gotta be a manual release somewhere." A pressure point revealed a hidden compartment but they had no way of knowing what used to be inside.

Given that it was already partway through the night Gibbs sent them home with strict instructions to report back at 0700. As the adrenaline faded both Tony and Ziva began to feel the weariness catching up with them and did little more besides feed and let their dog out, brush their teeth, and fall into bed tucked cozily together like spoons in a drawer. There wasn't much they liked better than that feeling of belonging and fitting so well with one another it was hard to tell where one left off and the other began.

**NCIS**

Sitting alone at home on his couch in the dark, McGee was acutely feeling the lack of Abby on what had been their regular movie night since Paloma instigated protect detail concluded at the end of September. Running a hand down his face, he sighed heavily and stared at the blank screen, an unused remote held loosely in one hand, finally admitting to himself that he'd royally screwed up. Laser tag with Maxine last Friday night had been fun. She didn't tease him about it being a geeky thing to do, they were both top notch players, and the challenge of competing in something he excelled at brought out the confidence normally trampled on by the usually friendly teasing by his teammates.

Asking her out to dinner had been a spur of the moment thing. When she suggested Monday Tim panicked because there was no way he could tell her that he and Abby always made a meal together that night. So he fumbled through an agreement and stewed for the whole weekend wondering if he should've done something differently. Monday's conversation with Abby left him unsettled and his and Maxine's dinner date had been completely disastrous. All he could think about was Abby, he almost called Maxine the wrong name more than once, and he was so awkward with her that she finally gave up and left near the end. Feeling let down, she told him to call her sometime if he ever figured out what he wanted and that was it.

Now days had gone by since he felt comfortable in the lab, Abby was barely speaking to him, and McGee had no idea how to go about getting things back to the way they were. He was defeated, sad, and above all lonely for the one woman who always made him feel important and valued his contributions to their work. Closing his eyes, he let himself wallow in self-pity for a little longer. Whatever came next it wouldn't be easy and he knew this would be his very last chance to prove to Abby that they could succeed at something so much more than friendship.

**NCIS**

**Thursday February 24**

Tony finished getting dressed in the bathroom after his shave and frowned when he ran into Ziva outside their room. "You can't wear that."

She looked down at her attire and quizzically back at him. "Why not?"

He gestured to his own dress shirt. "Because it's black. And I'm already wearing black. We certainly can't go into work wearing matching shirts."

Ziva crossed her arms. "I was dressed before you. You should have to change, not me. Besides, they are different styles of shirts."

Tony set his hands on his hips. "I'm not changing."

She narrowed her gaze. "I am not changing either."

They had a staring contest for several seconds, then laughed lightly. "Well," he remarked, eyes traveling slowly down her body, "I have to say, I think you pull off black better than me."

Ziva inched closer. "Is that so?"

"Oh yeah," Tony grinned, running his hands down her sides. "And the neckline on this shirt is just perfect."

He traced the shallow scoop. "Not too low, not too high. Perfectly sets off your pendant too."

She lifted the little white gold and diamond 'Z' and studied it, a little surprised when he took the jewellery from her fingers and kissed it. "This is my favourite letter of the alphabet."

Ziva chuckled and shook her head at his cheesiness. "You don't say."

"Mmhmm." He worked his way up her neck, lips brushing against her ear. "Then again, just about everything about you is my favourite."

She slid her arms over his shoulders. "Are you trying to get extra husband points?"

Tony smirked. "Is that a thing?"

"It is most definitely a thing," Ziva confirmed.

"In that case, I am absolutely trying to get extra husband points." He claimed her mouth for a deep and thorough kiss. "Whatever will I use them for?"

"I am sure you will think of something," Ziva whispered, rubbing her nose gently on his and stepping back. "We have to go to work," she reported regretfully.

Tony sighed. "I know. But no matter what happens after now, this will always be the best part of my day."

Cupping his face in her hands, Ziva kissed him with a simmering passion just under the surface. "I think I will make you take that back later."

A bright smile claimed his lips. "Oh yeah?"

She merely nodded and they got ready to go. But he could feel the promise of her words with him for the rest of the day.

**NCIS**

Tony entered Observation in a hurry to watch Gibbs' interrogation of Leona Phelps, but he stopped in surprise to see EJ already sitting inside, feet propped up on the mirror. He stayed a safe distance back, suddenly glad his wife was occupied. She wouldn't take an invasion of their space lightly. "Where'd you find that chair?"

EJ pointed. "It was over there in the corner."

Tony looked and wondered how it was that during the countless hours he and his partner had spent this room, he hadn't noticed a simple black chair. Granted it was always kinda dark in Observation, but still. He did pride himself on his skills. She commented on Gibbs' interview style and Tony crossed his arms. "That's why he's the captain."

EJ finally looked at him. "You a jock DiNozzo?"

He wished there was an unobtrusive way to move further away without looking like he thought she had cooties. "Basketball, some other stuff."

"Varsity?"

"Team captain once upon a time." Though he always felt kind of inadequate in that role. The take charge man that he was, Mark really should've gotten the spot. But he always followed his calls and the others respected Tony because Mark took the lead. He couldn't ask for a better friend.

"I was a cheerleader myself," EJ volunteered. "But I kept getting distracted by the boys."

Tony had the strangest sense she was flirting with him, but the hunch wasn't confirmed until she grabbed his wrist to check the time. "I gotta run. Meeting with the director."

She took off and Tony flexed his fingers, rubbing his wrist as if he could erase the heat of her touch. Only Ziva was allowed to be that familiar with him and she would not have appreciated another woman touching him, even if it appeared innocent enough. He'd be the same way if a male agent got a little too solicitous with her. EJ's actions sent his mind back to the scene in their kitchen that morning prior to the conversation about the colour of their clothing.

_Ziva came out of the bathroom after her shower and observed him at the table reading the paper, only partially dressed because he often got distracted in the middle of that part of his routine and ended up doing something else first. She approached slowly and wrapped her arms around his neck from behind, letting her hair drape across his chest. "I do not believe I tell you enough how handsome I think you are."_

_Tony gave her a joking half-grin. "I'm flattered."_

_Ziva frowned. "I'm serious. You are forever calling me beautiful, I want you to know that I-"_

"_Find certain older men attractive?" he quoted._

_She moved to face him and touched his cheek, kissing him slowly. "There is only one man ahava."_

_Tony drew her into his lap. "I would hope so."_

_Ziva cupped his face. "Did you hear me?"_

"_That you think I'm handsome? Yup. But you can always say it again."_

_Her lips found his, the non-verbal way always their favourite for sharing profound truths. "You are a wonderful, good looking man and I am so proud to claim you as mine." Her brown eyes glittered. "That new girl better find someone else to look at. I am not sharing."_

_In that moment he realized it wasn't so much that EJ interrupted them yesterday but that Ziva had seen something he hadn't in the way the other woman appraised him, which made her both agitated and territorial, a lethal combination on any day. He held her hand carefully, pressing his lips to the marred tan skin on her wrist. "I love you Ziva. There's no competition."_

_Ziva smiled. "Good." She stood up and he wished she hadn't. "I just wanted to make sure you knew."_

Even now her declaration painted a silly grin on his face that he had to curb before he returned to the squadroom to go over the briefing with Ziva and McGee. Luckily that task put husband and wife in close proximity, even if all three of them were shocked to learn that Gibbs had made a deal with Leona Phelps. "Gibbs doesn't make deals," Tony muttered as Ziva followed their boss to the elevator, glancing back at him. "What's he up to?"

**NCIS**

Taking a deep breath after her last piano student left around lunchtime, Cassie picked up the phone and dialed the same home number she memorized as a child. Her dad answered several seconds later, making her wonder if they always waited for call display to kick in and left her calls for Matthew, since Claire had yet to pick up the phone when Cassie was on the other end. "Hi Mattie."

She couldn't help but smile when he called her that, especially now knowing the history behind the nickname, which made it all the more special. "Hi Dad. How's your day going?"

"Pretty well. We've already been out on the trails behind the house. They're beautiful with sunshine filtering onto snow and the trees cut the wind to almost nothing. And yours?"

"Thursdays are light for me. The rest of the afternoon is mine. Well, until Mark gets home for lunch anyways." He often had a two hour break on this particular day and they'd more than once made good use of the time and an empty house to enjoy each other, which didn't leave her a lot of free time when he went back to work as the kids' bus came fifteen minutes after he left. But she wouldn't trade their time together for all the world.

"So, what can I do for you today?" Matthew continued, knowing his daughter hadn't called just to shoot the breeze.

"Well..." she began slowly, "I said I'd let you know, so I made space for Claire's lessons in my teaching schedule. If she's still interested I can...have her come right after noon on Monday."

Silence filled the line briefly, then she could almost feel her father's gratitude. "That's great honey, thank you. We really appreciate you doing that. Claire's going to be so pleased."

The constant 'we' still caught Cassie, how quickly her dad had adjusted to Claire being part of his life and everything he did, but she didn't dwell on it. There was no going back, only going forward, and she wanted so badly not to mess up what could end up being a very good thing for all of them. "I do what I can," she replied casually. A glance at the clock gave her a good reason to close the conversation for now. "I better get some food started Dad. I like to have something ready when Mark walks in."

"Okay Precious. Thanks for the call. Love you."

"Love you too." She pressed the off button and stood still for a minute before getting to work. Being all talk was one thing, putting it into practice something else entirely. At least she had a couple days yet to get her thoughts in order.

**NCIS**

At Leona's palatial mansion Ziva gave her opinion as soon as the car was stopped. "You know, it seems unfair that you get to go home for giving us the name of a man who's recently been murdered." She held the door for the woman and slammed it after she got out.

"Deal's a deal Ziver," Gibbs tried to tone her down.

"You ought to muzzle your pups Agent Gibbs." Ziva mocked Leona behind her back and he tried hard not to smile. "They all seem to have a problem with barking."

He could tell instantly that his agent did not like being compared to an animal. "No, this one's problem is definitely her bite." _If you knew all the things she could do to you right now but won't_. Ziva just rolled her eyes.

"I couldn't have predicted Brackin's death. And I certainly couldn't have anything to do with it from the inside."

Ziva examined her nails. "Is that why you wanted out so badly? It didn't look so terrible to me."

Leona's tone was very condescending. "You've obviously never had your freedom taken away."

Ziva chuckled but the humour was missing. "A real gift for reading people this one." As flippant as it was, the comment hurt. She knew more than anyone should ever experience about the loss of freedom.

After attaching the ankle bracelet Gibbs and Ziva left, no police presence being part of the deal. Once the door was closed he gripped her shoulder. "You okay?"

She shrugged. "People can be insensitive. I have no right to expect special treatment."

He kissed the side of her head. "We know Ziver. The other people, just ignore them."

Easier said than done, but it was nice that he tried. There was slight vindication in his prediction coming true, as Leona violated the house arrest agreement in fear of her life and they got the ledger as icing on the cake, which would send her away for good. Somehow, after that, the comment didn't sting quite as much. Justice had been served.

**NCIS**

When EJ left that night she smiled on her way out, gaze resting on Tony with way too much interest. As Gibbs hadn't come back yet and McGee was already gone, Ziva felt safe to mutter that she never wanted to claim him as her husband more than when that woman was looking at him like he's available. He rubbed his hands down her arms and kissed behind her ear, murmuring, "Remember what I told you this morning." Some of the tension drained out of her posture and she quietly headed downstairs. Already knowing her destination, Tony decided to finish up his report while he waited.

When Gibbs returned from filling Director Vance in Tony talked about the car chase and arrest of the guy who attempted to kill Leona as if it was the scene in a movie. Gibbs could only take so much of that and got ready to leave. Tony leaned his arms on the partition, staring towards the new section. Already feeling like something was off about EJ, Gibbs snarled, "Rule 12. Stay away from her DiNozzo," and headslapped his senior field agent for good measure, but the man didn't even flinch. He strode to the elevator and Tony stared into space, totally tuning out Gibbs' rant. "Hey! Did you hear me?"

_Nope,_ the senior field agent thought. _What did he say? Something about stay away from EJ? That's not going to be a problem. I've got something much better waiting for me at home_. His gaze drifted to Ziva's desk. _Well, she's not there not yet_.

After all the conversations about showering the other day, vague reminders of Somalia, and being kept at work so much they barely had a chance to change and were wearing clothes of dubious cleanliness, Ziva's desire to get washed became impossible to ignore. An idea suddenly flashed through his mind to sneak into the women's locker room and surprise her and a small smile claimed his lips. There was hardly anyone left in the office this late and he saw EJ leave earlier so she wouldn't be a threat._ Who's going to know?_

Anticipation building, Tony strode in the direction of the breakroom and took a quick detour to end up at the back elevator, years of evasion ingrained in his movements even though witnesses at this time of day were sparse. Several floors down he passed the training gym and crept along the hall to where the locker rooms were located several feet apart. Hearing water running in the women's he took a breath and went in, peeking around the corner to ensure they were alone. The dim interior was all the proof he needed and Tony grinned, leaning his back against the wall beside the cubicle, arms crossed as he imagined the look on Ziva's face when she got out.

The water shut off and he turned his head, frowning at the towel hanging on a hook. Did she change the one she left at work? He thought it was an older yellow one, chosen because it wouldn't matter much if something happened to it. This one was a pristine white towel that looked brand new and the arm reaching for was the wrong colour and suddenly Tony realized he might be in over his head. EJ pulled the curtain back and he froze in place, unable to keep his eyes from taking in her scantily clad body.

She leaned casually against the side and he was surprised at how nice and big the showers were. Compared to the men's, the NCIS ladies were getting spoiled. EJ didn't seem uncomfortable in the least as she smiled. "To what do I owe the pleasure Agent DiNozzo?"

Her voice and the clear invitation snapped him back to attention and he gulped. "Uh, sorry, wrong locker room. You know, it's funny, I've been saying lately I really need to get my eyes checked. And yeah, I'll just be going now." He practically stumbled over himself in his eagerness to get out of there.

EJ reached out a hand and touched his arm. "What's your hurry Tony?"

He didn't answer, rushing out in a panic, and almost knocked Ziva over in the process. He grabbed onto her shoulders and her forehead wrinkled. "Tony? What is wrong?"

Tony glanced over his shoulder. "You...and she...and-" He huffed in frustration of his inability to complete a sentence. "Why weren't you in the shower?"

Both eyebrows lifted. "I ran into Abby on my way down. She wanted to show me the initials she found on Faulkner's desk, said she knew I'd like it. I got delayed." Ziva looked past him but couldn't see around the corner. "Who are you running from?"

He swallowed, running his fingers through his hair, and dragged her into the stairwell. "Imagine my surprise when I'm waiting outside the shower for my wife and EJ Barrett pulls back the curtain. I made a lame excuse and got the heck out of there. But she was definitely open for me to hang around." Tony blew out a breath. "I'm sorry Zi, I should've been paying more attention. And I'm sorry I looked but she was in a towel and I-" He stopped and shook his head. "I wasn't trying to be a guy."

Ziva tugged him down to press their lips together, shutting him up the easiest way possible. "I trust you ahava. It was a simple mistake. I did not realize she was still here." She looked down at the wrinkled clothes she was wearing. "Perhaps we should just go home."

Tony started to smile, remembering her promise from earlier, and decided to turn the tables on her. "Candlelight. A bubble bath. Maybe even chocolate covered strawberries if there's any left in the freezer?"

Her eyes twinkled. "That sounds like an offer I can't pass up." Though she would still be sure to make good on her word to him as well.

Grabbing hands, the two raced up the stairs to grab their things, both very anxious to see the inside of their house. They said goodnight, left separately, and met back at the car. Tony got their treat out of the freezer while Ziva started water for a bath and lit several candles to place around the room. She added her favourite bubble bath and went to get undressed. By the time she returned Tony was already soaking in the luxurious hot water and let his eyes linger on her naked form before she took his hand for balance and stepped over the side to join him.

He drew her into his arms, settling her between his legs, and they did nothing but soak in the relaxing heat for a long time. Tony washed her hair, always his favourite part, and Ziva returned the favour before they both got clean. A little bathtub fun that would have them mopping a few puddles later satisfied some of the desire present since they left work, and when neither of them was ready for it to be over afterwards he spread several of their thickest towels on the floor and made love to her in such a gentle way that it brought her to tears.

Tony used his thumb to brush them away, concern shadowing his gaze. "Please tell me those are happy tears sweetheart."

She closed her eyes briefly, then met his clear green ones, her palm gracing his cheek. "Tony, I am never in pain from our intimacy. I need you to believe me on that."

He swallowed, completely serious in a heartbeat. "I'm trying to. But sometimes I'm afraid you're just being brave for me."

Shaking her head and wondering how to convince him, she brought his mouth back to hers and kissed him softly, hoping that reassurance would be enough.

Their time together was eventually followed by Tony's disappointment when Ziva twisted her hair up in a clip, announcing she was going to put something on. He much preferred getting into bed with both of them in just their skin; there was very little he liked better than to fall asleep with her pressed against him and nothing in between their bodies. However, his disappointment was short lived at the sight of his wife in one of the short, scanty negligees she'd purchased for their vacation and his smile returned when she brandished the bottle of moisturizing massage oil that had been in her Tijon gift bag.

"I believe I still owe you something."

Tony followed her back to the bedroom, glanced at the large towel she'd already laid on the bed, and flopped down face first mumbling, "Thank you," into the terry cloth.

She chuckled and straddled his body, squeezing a generous amount of oil into her hand, and proceeded to spoil him completely as he had done for her that long ago September night. Ziva slowly and carefully worked over his whole back and neck, getting low enough on his back to make him start thinking about other things they could be doing in bed. But he held that thought for now, basking in the pampering. When he was about as relaxed as he could get, to Tony's dismay she got up, though she returned shortly and he heard her taking the lid off something but couldn't muster the energy to open his eyes and find out what. He had not been joking last time about her fabulous masseuse skills, his body felt incredible right now, like a puddle of jelly.

Then a lightly, ticklish sensation started at his shoulders and she explained. "I read that honey dust is also good for absorbing oil after a massage." Ziva gave it time to work before beginning to kiss her way up his back one excruciating inch at a time, savouring the taste and murmuring what he assumed were bedroom appropriate observations against his skin in Hebrew as she went. Of course, those were the first things he wanted to learn upon starting Hebrew lessons, but Ziva said starting at the beginning would be better and he'd work harder if he had something to look forward to. She was right.

Finally making it to his neck she dropped a kiss on the corner of his mouth and sprawled out half on top of him. "Would it be terribly uncomfortable if I fell asleep like this?"

Tony remembered the last time she'd thought about sleeping in that position and snuffled. "Nope."

"Good," she sighed. "Because you are warm, and comfortable, and smell amazing. I never want to move."

He huffed a bit of a laugh. "That could be a problem come morning, but right now I have no argument whatsoever."

"I love you," Ziva whispered and Tony had no issue at all with that being the last thing he heard before they drifted into dreams. Like just about everything involving his wife, he wasn't about to take moments like these for granted.

_Replies:_

_Guest - Aww, thanks, that's really nice to hear. Well, I have vaguely referenced their scrapbooks before, but I wanted a bit more of an indepth look this time. I'm glad you've enjoyed all the little moments lately. I wish we'd gotten to see more of them on the show too. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Melissa - Hi :) That's good, I'm glad you could picture the scene, that's what I'm going for. T did a good job with Z when they were trapped, but he has a lot of experience working her out of desert memories. I meant to use to part about T reading lips a long time ago but at least it worked in here. It's nice to hear that you enjoyed it, thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	43. 8x19 Tell-All 1

_A/N: Sorry to have missed a couple postings guys, you know what they say about best laid plans. Just a head's up in case the OCs aren't your thing, they've kind of taken over again for about three quarters of the chapter. Skip down to after the break on Friday to just see the TZ related stuff. Thanks! ~ Love Aliyah_

**Thursday February 24 continued**

"Okay guys," Adrian announced as he carted in three distinct duffle bags that matched their owners - pink sparkly, green with soccer balls, and blue covered in vines with monkeys hanging from them, "here we are."

McKenna, Alec, and Ryan followed their uncle inside while Aunt Emma brought up the rear. "Wow," the oldest amigo observed, "it looks way different than moving day."

Adrian ruffled Alec's hair. "I would hope so dude. All you could see on moving day was stacks of boxes in every room."

They carefully removed their shoes in the wide entrance and trooped down the hallway to the bright, open kitchen. Emma dropped her purse on a nearby chair and pushed up her sleeves. "You guys have thirty seconds to dump your stuff downstairs before I start making cookies without you." They hadn't picked up the kids until after dinner so now it was time for dessert. They were keeping them until Saturday morning, at which point they would go to their respective grandparents' houses for the day and overnight. Then both sets of parents would get their children back in the morning for church. So until that time some serious spoiling was in order.

All three kids' eyes lit up and they grabbed their bags, rushing down the carpeted steps to deposit their things so they could hurry back. But the chorus of gasps she and Adrian heard when they reached the bottom assured the adults they wouldn't be getting their niece and nephews' attention back for several moments. "No way!" Ryan breathed.

"This is so cool!" Alec gushed.

"They have a swing!" McKenna squealed.

Stifling laughter, Adrian and Emma headed downstairs to join the kids, glancing around with proud smiles at the reaction. They'd put a lot of work into making the basement space something the kids could enjoy for years to come, which was part of the reason no one from the gang had spent significant time at their house since they got back from their honeymoon. And though it took a lot of time, energy and creativity, as well as putting a healthy dent in their savings, the couple didn't regret one moment of the decision.

Under the stairs, where usually there was only wasted space on a staircase, a cozy reading nook had been created. All three kids were highly encouraged by their parents to read and TV time was carefully limited, but of the group only McKenna could get lost for hours at a time in whatever book she was currently into. So that place had been made with her in mind. As for the rest of the basement, minus space taken up by their laundry spot, a small bathroom, and the darkroom that was Adrian's pride and joy, it was pretty much a child's paradise.

On the far wall facing the staircase was a large screen TV surrounded by built in shelves filled with kids' movies and games, and bean bag chairs as well as other comfortable furniture situated in front. Behind the funky shaped couch was a multicoloured rug on top of which sat a table and chairs with a whole cart of art supplies underneath. The wall on either side of the table was done in large squares of blackboard and whiteboard paint so in this case it was actually permissible to draw on the wall.

The opposite end of the room from the TV area held an indoor jungle gym complete with more swings besides the one anchored to the roof in front of the reading nook that caught McKenna's fancy, monkey bars, a rope ladder, climbing rope, a trapeze bar with rings, and even a small scale climbing wall, all padded underneath with a nice thick mat. Nearby was an air hockey table and on the wall across from the play area three beds had been built right in - two like bunkbeds, one on top of the other, and a second top bunk with the space underneath used for a storage cupboard that held blankets, sleeping bags, pillows etc., as well as a ladder in between the two sides to get up to the top beds.

The walls were painted all kinds of cool colours that matched Adrian's personality and the floor was a deep blue carpet with a pattern like sunshine filtering through water. The kids just gaped, opened mouthed, while everything sank in before scattering to check it all out up close. It was a reward for all that hard work their aunt and uncle had put into it to see how they responded and the adults quickly realized this wouldn't be just a brief look-see. The amigos were in full on test mode and in a whirlwind the whole place had to be tried out.

While Adrian attempted to show off his monkey bar skills to the boys, Emma curled up with McKenna in the reading nook and they looked through the selection of kids' books and young reader novels she and Adrian had collected - both from their own childhoods and by paying attention to what the kids were reading. The air hockey table was put to good use, complete with cheering section and competing champions for a 'winner takes the title' victory. All that had been done and put into the basement was exclaimed over and admired and plans between the children were made for how to enjoy the space tomorrow when they had longer to explore.

Finally Emma clapped her hands. "Okay guys, if anyone wants cookies now is the time."

Suggestions of sugar got the attention of all three and they dropped what they were doing and charged towards the stairs. Adrian and Emma followed at a slightly slower pace. Up in the kitchen she got out ingredients while her husband found baking tools. Everyone got a particular job - measuring, stirring, washing, drying, and putting away. By the time the batter was ready so was the oven, but no one was in a hurry to get lumps of unbaked cookies on the trays, first they all took generous samples of raw dough, thoroughly enjoying the rare treat.

The cookies turned out to be quite an eclectic collection - some plain batter, some with oatmeal and chocolate chips, some only chocolate chips (white or milk chocolate or a mixture of both kinds). Some got toppings of Skor bits, others used M&amp;Ms instead of chocolate chips. Emma blamed the variety on her husband, who encouraged the kids to be diverse in their decorating selections. Quite proud of their creations and covered in the flour and sugar granuals to prove that they were part of the process, the amigos anxiously crouched in front of the stove with the inside light on to watch them bake.

After a couple minutes Adrian chuckled and moved them away. "Come on guys, they'll never finish cooking if you stare at them." When he got disappointed looks, he shooed them downstairs. "Agree on one game and bring it back, we'll play while we wait."

Listening to three little voices debate the merit or downfall of each game on the shelf, he crossed the room to put his arms around his wife. "Are you having fun? Because I'm having a blast. This was totally our best idea ever."

Emma leaned back into him. "You were right."

After their conversation the night of becoming engaged when they chose this house from the pictures he brought, Adrian said the house was a little big for just two but being one of the fun uncles he foresaw a lot of sleepovers with the kids. They'd spent a great deal of time discussing what else to use the partly finished basement for besides his darkroom and kept coming back to this - a place for the kids, full of everything that makes childhood fun.

Adrian nuzzled her neck. "Husbands love to hear that."

Alec, Ryan, and McKenna thumped back up the carpeted steps and the oldest nephew showed them a rectangular box. "We want to play Operation."

Adrian's eyes lit up and he herded them over to the coffee table, carefully relocating the few items that had a home there. "This was one of my favourites as a kid. I'm awesome at this game!"

Shaking her head at his antics, Emma joined the group and they got set up. On his first turn Adrian hit the side and set off the buzzer, causing his expression to fall. McKenna patted his hand sympathetically and Ryan tilted his head. "I guess it was a long time ago, huh?"

"What was buddy?"

The little boy grinned. "When you were a kid."

"Now see here mister!" Adrian protested. "I know you didn't just call me old." In retaliation he tickled Ryan until he was squirming on the floor, squealing with laughter. Alec and McKenna came to his defense, attacking Adrian with their fingers. He fell backwards, arms and legs flailing. "Em! Help! I need back up!"

Rather than assist she got up to check on their cookies as the timer chose that moment to go off. When she came back from swapping trays they were laying in a heap, panting for air, laughter and giggles fading away. Emma smirked. "Where's a camera when you need one?"

"Ooh, great idea honey! Can you grab the little digital one on the shelf?" In this particular photographer's house there was at least one camera in every room, just in case.

Emma did as requested and snapped a few of him with the kids, then Adrian got out his tripod and set the camera for timed shots to get some of them playing the game. McKenna did okay with the Charlie Horse, while Ryan fumbled the Writer's Cramp. Alec got both the Wishbone and Spare Ribs, Emma managed the Funny Bone but didn't quite succeed at Broken Heart and relinquished her turn when the buzzer sounded again.

All during the game Emma or Adrian was getting up to rescue finished cookies and slide unbaked ones back in the oven. Three minutes was the magic number for cookies to cool down enough to be eaten, so after each tray they all picked one still warm, melty cookie to enjoy before returning to their fun. The general consensus was that every person had a different favourite kind of cookie and when the final tray was relieved of its baked goods as they were transferred to a cooling rack, Alec just stared.

"Wow. That's a lot of cookies."

McKenna's eyes were round. "I don't even think Mommy made this many at Christmas." Which was saying something, because Cassie was known for her wide variety of holiday baking.

"Well," Emma decided, "I think the least we can do is send some home for your parents. Do Gram and Grandpa like cookies Ryan?" He nodded and she looked at Alec, who spoke for both himself and McKenna.

"Our grampa does too." He frowned and shared a glance with his sister. "But I don't know what Gramma likes yet." So far they'd only had one Friday night/Saturday with two grandparents, there was still a lot about Claire they needed to learn.

McKenna's brow furrowed. "She likes apple crisp."

Adrian tugged on one of her pigtails. "Anyone who likes apple crisp is bound to like cookies too."

"We can always take whatever is left to work or basketball on Sunday," his wife suggested.

"Don't forget to keep some," Ryan put in. "It's important to have cookies."

Wondering which family member he picked that up from and probably able to guess, Adrian nodded. "We'll do that Peter Pan, thanks."

The next phase of the plan included everyone heading downstairs to enjoy some entertainment. "This time Aunt Emma and I picked the movie, hope that's okay with you guys."

McKenna nodded sincerely. "Even adults should get a turn."

"Thanks kiddo." Pausing for dramatic effect, Adrian pulled open a drawer and produced the DVD. "Ta-da!"

"Ooh minions!" McKenna cheered while Ryan and Alec high-fived.

"Maybe that's why Mom wouldn't let me get it with my Christmas money," Ryan commented, holding the case. "The previews looked so cool."

_Despicable Me_ turned out to be much funnier than Adrian and Emma expected and the kids, sprawled on cushy bean bag chairs and the soft patterened couch, remained completely amused for almost the entire time. At the end Alec and Ryan ran around the basement shooting invisible freeze rays at each other and McKenna, imitating the youngest girl in the film, kept up a constant refrain of "It's so fluffy!" using her Tijon unicorn Jonti to demonstrate.

Their aunt and uncle laughed quietly to themselves and shared a quick kiss. "Wow, all three of them on sugar and imagination, who knew they could be so entertaining?"

Adrian surveyed his niece and nephews with a practiced eye. "I'm thinking that maybe being all the way upstairs in our room may not be such a great idea as far as supervision goes. How do you feel about having our own sleepover in the livingroom Mrs. Platz?"

Emma pretended to consider his offer. "I don't know Mr. Snapshot, will there be cuddling involved?"

Adrian chuckled. "There will most definitely be cuddling involved."

She pursed her lips, running a finger down his shirt. "What about kissing? Will there be any kissing?"

He leaned closer. "I guarantee there will be kissing."

Emma tipped her head to the side and he gently took the clip out of her hair, letting the smooth dark curtain fall to her shoulders. "I suppose we could have a sleepover, if a midnight snack is included."

Adrian stifled what he wanted for a midnight 'snack', because that was not happening with three kids around, and took a literal translation of her words. "Seeing as there are enough cookies in the kitchen to give a small country cavities, that can be arranged."

"Okay," Emma sighed happily, not resisting in the slightest when he cupped her cheek and brought their lips together.

This kiss was drawn out long enough for their company to notice and a corresponding chorus of "Eww!" from the kids broke them apart. Feigning upset Adrian pointed his finger at all of them. "I'm going to remind you guys about that reaction when you're old enough to have girlfriends and a boyfriend."

Ryan and Alec exchange disgusted looks and the younger one shook his head. "I don't think I want a girlfriend if you have to do that."

Adrian and Emma burst out laughing, but no more so than when McKenna hugged her unicorn and announced, "Daddy says I'll be twenty-five before I'm allowed to have a boyfriend."

Her uncle nodded. "I'm afraid that between your dad and five uncles you'll have a hard time dating Hugs. No boy's going to be good enough for our princess." Emma elbowed him for the comment and he gave her a 'What?' expression.

McKenna propped hands on her hips indignantly. "I'm not a princess. I'm a ballerina." She pirouetted to prove the point and he had to agree.

"I stand corrected."

Emma took over then. "Time to get ready for bed amigos." At the collective 'Aww!" she pointed to the clock. "It's almost midnight and I know your parents have a rule about sleeping in too late. Nine am is going to be your wake up call."

Mark and Cassie decided before they even had kids that there'd be no staying in bed until noon and wasting half the day. CJ also was never able to have the luxury of sleeping in for Ryan because they were always up early so she could get him to daycare or the sitters and head to work. Being married she now sometimes allowed until ten but in general the kids were all early risers anyways.

Realizing the rules didn't change from house to house, the three of them went through their bags for toothbrushes and pjs, changing separately but doing their teeth at the same time in front of the mirror. Then their aunt and uncle saw them tucked in and kissed goodnight before prayers were heard. Alec, Ryan, and McKenna snuggled into their custom beds and Adrian and Emma watched them fondly before going upstairs. He indulged her snack request by warming a few cookies for them to share and they leaned against the counter to eat the dessert piece by piece.

"This was great," she commented after a few bites. "We'll have to do this with Hope when she gets bigger."

"Done," Adrian agreed. "Although I think it takes more effort to amuse only one."

"Don't be so sure about that." Emma's eyes twinkled. "I have it on good authority that Hope's only child days are numbered."

He lit up. "They're pregnant again?" Almost unbelievable considering they tried for over half of the decade they'd been married to get one baby.

She nodded. "Yes. But Beth's only eight weeks so she and Chris want to keep it quiet until she's past three months." Given her sister's age, the risk of miscarriage grew and they just wanted to be cautious.

Adrian's brow furrowed as he did some math. "Eight weeks ago was Christmas."

Emma smirked. "I think they were making up for lost time."

"The kids won't be that far apart," he remarked. In August or September, depending on Beth's exact due date, Hope would still be under two years.

"No, but maybe they'll be best friends faster than Beth and I took getting to that stage." Emma knew her sister hadn't been crazy about her daughter growing up an only child, given that she'd had a sibling, but some things they didn't have any control over.

"Chris must be ecstatic."

"Oh, he is," she assured her husband. Emma chewed on her lip. "In fact, he's putting in for a desk job as soon as possible. He said he refuses to miss any part of another child's life." Chris had been called for duty shortly after learning he was going to be a father for the first time, he hadn't been around for much of Beth's pregnancy and wasn't there when his daughter was born. He was determined not to repeat those losses again.

"I'm sure Beth will be glad to have him safe and home all the time." Adrian couldn't imagine what it must be like to be separated from the person you loved most for months on end. He hugged his wife tight. "A new baby is super exciting even if the birth is so far away. I'm not sure we're going to get one from the gang."

Emma thought about the possibilities. Darien planned to stay single, so if he succeeded that ruled him out. Mark and Cassie were clearly done at two given Alec and McKenna's ages. She and Adrian had chosen to focus on the kids in their lives rather than have their own. Which left three couples, but because Ryan had just turned nine she didn't know if Brent and CJ would want to start from scratch with an infant. Ever curious Cassie had surprisingly refrained from hitting up Tony and Ziva about their plans for a family, making her wonder if there was a serious reason she steered away from that conversation. Maybe their jobs? Either way, the topic had never come up in a group setting. So then only one remained.

"You don't think Jordan and Allie want kids at some point?"

Adrian rolled it over in his mind. "I actually don't know. I suppose of everyone they're the best candidates. I mean, they've only been married a year, but...yeah, I could see them with a kid or two eventually."

"Either way," Emma continued, "we're left with a lot of little ones to spoil. And I for one am perfectly okay with that."

"Me too." He kissed her, both hands framing her face. "C'mon babe, let's dig out sleeping bags and get started on some of that cuddling. I can't think of a better way to end the night."

She sought his mouth again. "Don't forget about the kissing."

Adrian grinned. "That's just a bonus." Married now as long as they'd originally dated for and none of it ever got old. He was one lucky man.

**NCIS**

**Friday February 25**

It was just before eight the next morning when McKenna climbed up the ladder to the two top bunks and sat at the bottom of her brother's bed. "Alec?" she called softly. "Are you awake?" He stirred and she glanced over her shoulder to make sure Ryan was still asleep. He was, so she poked her brother's leg. "Alec?"

"Mmm," he moaned, eyes still closed. "What Ken?"

"Are you awake?"

Alec threw an arm over his face. "No."

McKenna pursed her lips. "Oh. Are you sure?"

This time he sighed and squinted at her. "What do you want?"

"I can't sleep."

_Me either_, the older sibling thought. But it wouldn't be the first time she'd appeared at his bed in the morning, there was usually a good reason. "Bad dream?"

She shrugged. "The other bed is too close to the floor." Which meant yes, in a roundabout way. If she was higher up and near her brother she could feel more protected.

Alec pushed himself up a little. "Okay," he whispered, hoping to keep from disturbing their cousin. "What do you want to do?"

McKenna held out one of _The Little's _books from the shelf in the reading nook. "Will you read to me?" She'd been able to read on her own since around four, but somehow the little girl never tired of hearing a story in her brother's voice.

Their parents had stressed over and over what an important responsibility it was to be her big brother and though sometimes Alec chafed at the expectations, McKenna made him feel important and even at not quite eleven he knew he wanted to be a good example for her. "Sure," he agreed. "C'mere." She crawled across the covers and snuggled in the corner beside him, waiting eagerly as he opened to the first page.

The siblings made it through three chapters before Ryan opened his eyes and frowned at the unfamiliar surroundings. "Cody?"

Alec looked up from the book. "Wrong house Peter."

Ryan's eyes darted across the space to his cousins. "Oh, hi."

"I thought Cody wasn't allowed in your room."

The boy laughed. "He's not supposed to be upstairs at night. Dad keeps telling him he's a guard dog. But on Saturday mornings he sneaks in sometimes." He leaned up on his elbows. "What're you doing?"

"Reading," McKenna stated as if that was the most normal thing in the world. Granted it wasn't the first sleepover they'd had together and that's usually what she was doing if she was up before the boys.

This time though Ryan shook his head at her. "How can you read when there's so much other cool stuff to do down here?"

That piqued Alec's interest and he looked at the opposite side of the room. "Race you up the climbing wall."

"Deal," Ryan grinned as they scrambled to get down to the floor.

Unable to be left out, McKenna joined them, practicing a routine on the trapeze bar and rings while the boys had their fun. All three of them moved to the climbing structure in the middle and showed off their monkey bar skills, then Ryan and McKenna played a round of air hockey while Alec tried his luck at the climbing rope. The boys got on the swings next so the lone girl began tumbling on the mat and demonstrating her cartwheels. Once some of the energy ran out they chose the thick deck of cards that made up Uno and plopped down around the coffee table to play.

Although the soundproofing had done its job and the door to the basement was closed all but a crack, Adrian and Emma were still aware that their charges were no longer asleep. "Well," he muttered without opening his eyes, "at least they're entertaining themselves."

His wife rolled over in her sleeping bag and pecked his lips gently. "I think we had a hand in that. No kid can spend a single bored minute downstairs now considering all the amusements you insisted we fit in. Was that your dream playroom as a kid?"

Adrian's lips caressed hers slowly, something he made a point of doing every morning since she their first when she confided that kissing was a really good way to start the day. "My dream as a kid was to have what they have, playmates the same age. Cam and I were so far apart. He was a great big brother but he wasn't around as much as I would've liked and I spent a lot of time on my own, just me and that initial camera from my parents."

Her palm came to rest on his cheek. "I'm glad you have so much more family now Adrian. No one should have to be alone."

He claimed her mouth again briefly. "Let's fix the monsters some breakfast, shall we?"

By the time they called the kids upstairs to eat, the table was laden with buttered toast, jam, scrambled eggs, bacon, fruit, yogurt, granola, and fresh juice. Emma surveyed the spread. "Think we went a little overboard?"

Adrian shook his head. "Nah. Just wanted to make sure all the bases were covered."

It was really nice to have all of them gathered around the table, holding hands to say grace before digging into the meal. He liked the picture they made together and wished there was a way to both live life and simultaneously capture every second on film. He did sneak away from the table once to get a couple shots, then joined right back in on the conversation and joking around until they got to the day's agenda. "So, what do you guys want to do first?"

Bright sunshine glittering off the perfect kind of packing snow complete with still, crisp air beckoned the amigos to the window. "Can we play outside?"

Alec's request had them all running to brush their teeth and get dressed in day clothes before shimmying into outdoor wear and running out to the modest sized backyard. A snowball fight ensued, at the end of which Ryan lamented that Cody would've loved to join them. Then they experimented with an Adrian-style unique snowman and began a snowfort but got too cold and had to go back in to warm themselves by the gas fireplace. Next on the list was a run to the store so they could grab supper ingredients and each kid was allowed to pick their two favourite treats for the movie to come that evening.

Back at the house grilled cheese sandwiches were on the menu for lunch, then Adrian insisted they all needed to make some spectacular artwork to decorate the creative area downstairs. With all five of them pitching in it wasn't a hard task and expressions ranged from drawing on the chalk and white boards, to fingerpainting, a pastel drawing, and a neatly coloured picture from one of the books. Each offering was proudly hung up when it was completed, then Adrian stood back to take it all in.

"Perfect. That's exactly what we needed to christen this space."

McKenna, Ryan, and Alec took some more time to play, during which Adrian got out one of his precious cameras and captured several more moments. When he had enough he grinned. "This is the part I've been waiting for." Crooking his finger at them to follow, he led them to his darkroom, something he'd wanted to show off for ages. "Ready to see where all the magic happens?"

He began developing the pictures from their sleepover and carefully walked them through the process, demonstrating and allowing the kids to assist without worrying that they might mess something up. All three were enthralled by watching images appear on the blank pieces of photo paper and were especially delighted by the ones they'd either developed or taken by themselves, since Adrian was never stingy with his camera and loved to show others how to get the best shot. Emma watched quietly for the entire tutorial since she'd seen and done the same things one on one with him many times before, loving her husband even more for his way with the children - so patient, explaining everything without talking down to them, and really letting them be a part of his passion. He got a tender kiss at the end of the lesson without any explanation why, but Adrian knew he'd never question the look of adoration in his wife's eyes.

Then it was her turn to display the talent God had gifted her with. "I've been working on something for you guys," she announced a bit hesitantly, "did you want to see?"

They all nodded and trooped up two flights of stairs to the second level of the house where Emma's office was located. Once inside she explained about her children's books, having a hard time containing her grin when all of the kids recognized at least one. She knew some sharing would be in store with the rest of the gang when the news got out, for now she'd let the kids pass on her secret. "Do we have to keep it a secret Aunt Emma?" McKenna asked, looking carefully through one entitled 'I Only Like Pizza On Mondays'. "I want to tell my friends that I know a real life author."

Emma combed her fingers through her niece's hair. "I appreciate that sweetie, but let's keep it in the family for now, okay?" Going to her desk, she lifted the first draft of _AKR Adventures Book One_ out of a drawer. It was called _Adventure at Camp Camelot_. "This one is still a little rough, I've only been working on it for a few months. But I hope you guys like it."

Together the kids paged through her story, laughing at funny moments they remembered sharing after last year's Camp Robin Hood experience, and enjoying the drawings that accompanied each of the short chapters. They thanked her several times at the end and were pretty excited to have characters named after them. Emma promised they would all get first copies if the story was published and each child hugged her before they went back downstairs. All in all approval was won and it wasn't nearly as intimidating as she'd expected.

Once congregated in the livingroom again Alec declared their house perfect for hide and seeks and Adrian leapt to the challenge, covering his eyes and starting to count almost before the words finished leaving his nephew's mouth. Everyone scurried to find hiding spots and the next hour was filled with delighted shouts and laughter and a joy of discovering new places to conceal themselves. Then it was back to the kitchen where everyone pitched in to make supper and after the meal was eaten the whole group collapsed on different pieces of furniture in the basement, pleasantly worn out from a fun day and ready for the movie.

Tonight's offering was another new one - _Nanny McPhee Returns _\- and the kids were so interested they forgot all about their snacks until halfway through. Reminding them that their grandparents were coming to pick them up at ten tomorrow Adrian and Emma set the children loose to play some more before bed, but when Alec and Ryan couldn't do more than finish a lackluster game of air hockey and they found McKenna asleep in the reading nook, an earlier-than-last-night bedtime was declared.

The last day and a bit had very much been worth taking time off work - Emma got her manager to cover for her, Adrian put up a sign on the door to Flash _'Closed due to family obligations. Thanks for understanding'_. They knew the two couples in the group with kids rarely got extended time alone together and never two full weekends in the same month and hoped they were taking advantage of it. All in all, the couple thought as they made their way back to their own sleeping bags, they had to consider their first official amigos sleepover a total success. The only thing that could be better was the many more they had to look forward to.

**NCIS**

Shortly after their workday began

Ziva sat up straighter, noting how quiet it was on the other side of the partition. "Given her personality," she began, "I am surprised that Agent Barrett did not beat us here today."

McGee looked over at her when Tony saw fit to keep his thoughts to himself for the moment. "I heard around the water cooler that she's spending the next few days setting up temporary housing for herself and her teammates. Apparently they're still abroad and won't be back for a couple weeks."

Ziva only latched onto one of the two important pieces of information in his answer. "Temporary? So she is not staying?"

Tim shrugged. "That's all I know."

Tapping his pen on the desk, Tony stared thoughtfully into space. "If her team can't make it yet, I wonder why she came without them. Why not wait and arrive altogether?"

"Maybe the director needed her here early for a debrief or something," McGee commented.

"DC is quite a different climate than Spain," Ziva remarked, purposefully not looking at anyone, "I'm sure she will be glad to return."

For EJ's sake, as Ziva shot a brief glare behind her, Tony hoped she wasn't staying long. Her safety couldn't be guaranteed for an extended period of time if the flirting was to continue. On that point his wife had been perfectly clear and he knew better by now than to argue with the ninja.

**NCIS**

A paperwork delivery to Autopsy mid-morning had Tony catching Jimmy alone in the room, which gave him a good opportunity to check in on his friend's life. "Hey Palmer."

Jimmy looked up from a tray of instruments he was cleaning. "Tony. Dr. Mallard's not here right now. Something I can help with?"

Tony held up the file. "Gibbs is returning an autopsy report he borrowed for the last case we wrapped up."

Drying his hands, Jimmy came over and took the folder. "Not a problem. I'll see that this gets where it needs to go."

"Thanks." Tony glanced around. "Quiet in here."

Jimmy chuckled. "To quote Dr. Mallard, 'An empty Autopsy is a good sign for the world'."

"Fair enough," he nodded, clearing his throat. "So, what'd you and Breena do for Valentine's Day last week? That was your one year, right?"

Jimmy's expression reflected the love he felt for his girlfriend. "Yeah, it was pretty great. We did the whole dress up, fancy dinner, and flowers thing. Then we went bowling. Only people there in formal wear but we had fun."

Tony clapped him on the shoulder. "Glad to hear it. I guess things are pretty serious with her now, huh?"

A red tint crept into Jimmy's cheeks and he fiddled with the folder. "I still don't know what she sees in me, but yeah, we're definitely serious."

He thought back to the first 'I love you'. He'd been too afraid to say it in case she didn't feel the same, though he felt it sometime during the summer. Breena, sweetheart that she was, became the brave one and told him in the fall, making the declaration only part of what she'd planned to celebrate his birthday. Of course Jimmy bumbled through a response to assure her he reciprocated the emotion and Breena let him babble for several moments before silencing his words with a gentle kiss. Now a day rarely went by when they didn't repeat the crucial sentiment to each other.

Realizing he'd lost him, Tony snapped his fingers. "Earth to Jimmy."

The autopsy assistant shook himself. "Sorry, what?"

Tony chuckled. "Oh, you've got it bad."

Jimmy grinned self-consciously. "That doesn't seem like such a bad thing to me."

Reaching out to run his fingers along one of the tables, the older man surveyed his friend. "And what are your plans? What happens next?"

Getting that deer-in-the-headlights expression Gibbs usually caused, Jimmy's mouth fell open and he gulped. "Well, ah, I-you see... Y'know, there's a lot-"

Tony cut him off. "Do you love her?"

He closed his mouth and nodded rapidly. "Yes."

"Can you imagine your life without talking to her every day?"

Jimmy's lips parted as he tried to think how bereft he would feel not hearing her voice to start or end his day. "No."

The last one was the most important. "Can you picture sharing a life with her?"

It had been one of his deepest dreams for months, but Jimmy didn't know how long it would take for him to gather the courage and say that out loud to his girlfriend. "Yes," he answered softly.

"Then you already know everything you need to know. If you want my advice, don't wait." Tony sighed. "Once you know, you've got to make the most of it. Life is too short to hold off on the important stuff, even if it's terrifying."

Turning the tables swiftly, Jimmy crossed his arms. "Did you?"

Tony's brow furrowed. "Did I what?"

"Once you knew you loved your partner, did you make the most of it?"

Unused to having the question stated so bluntly, Tony hesitated and faced away, wondering for the umpteenth time how bad it would be for just one person at work to know. And though most people would scoff at the idea of Jimmy being a secret keeper, Tony was certain he could be trusted. But his shoulders slumped as he faced the younger man again; the risk was still too great. "I can't answer that Palmer, I'm sorry." As nice as it was to have a serious conversation with his friend once in awhile, this one couldn't have the desired ending. Next time they would definitely have to get coffee instead.

He strode out of Autopsy then and Jimmy watched him go. "I think you already did," he said quietly to no one in particular. This situation would bear careful watching.

**NCIS**

After McGee specifically took the front stairs to leave for lunch, which would put him at the opposite end of the building from Abby's lab, Ziva wandered over to Tony's desk and perched on the corner closest to him. His hand automatically moved to rest on her knee before he even met her gaze and she bit back a smile at the apt comparison that had been made before between them and magnets. Tony checked for witnesses as an afterthought and curled his fingers around her hand, kissing the palm. "Hi."

Ziva held utterly still for a moment, all her senses attuned to activity on the floor. When she was certain no one was in close enough proximity to notice or care, she leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to her husband's unsuspecting lips. His eyes jumped up when she sat back. "Nice surprise."

The corners of her mouth curved up slightly before she sobered, casting a worried gaze towards their teammate's desk. "Have you noticed?"

He followed the direction she was looking. "What?"

Ziva thought back to the awkward exchange between McGee and Abby earlier when they reported down to the lab for results from the cold case Abby had been looking into recently. The strain between the usually close best friends concerned her, as well as McGee's avoidance of the forensic scientist when they would most often spend down time between and during cases together.

Like he could read her exact thoughts, Tony nodded. "I've noticed."

She drew her bottom lip between her teeth. "Do you think this is all because of Maxine?"

He rubbed his finger gently over the seam of her jeans. "Kinda seems deeper than that. They both get jealous easily, but it's almost like something broke between them." And to be frank, the change hurt to watch when he'd always rooted for his friends' non-relationship.

"Should we try talking to them?" Ziva could be very much like Abby at times in that she did not want people to be on the outs with each other.

Tony considered that option but at last shook his head. "You know how we've felt when people tried to interfere in our business. I think we need to let them work this out for themselves, whatever it is."

Sadness passed over her face. "I want them to be happy."

He drew his lips over the pads of her fingers. "And that's another reason why I love you Ziva David. I love that you care so much."

She barely had time to squeeze his hand in thanks before the elevator doors opened and brought forth their boss. Getting up from her spot and continuing to the breakroom, Ziva glanced again at McGee's desk hoping that this rift did not last long. Maybe they couldn't see it now but Abby and McGee were meant for each other, she just knew it.

**NCIS**

Friday night when she made it home from the gym before him Ziva sat in the office and penned a short love note to her husband.

_Dear ahava, thank you for continuing to surprise me even now, four and a half years into our marriage. Last night was amazing. Your tenderness during intimacy is often the cause of my tears, and not release as you might expect or pain as I know sometimes you still fear. _

She remembered the way he cradled her afterwards in his embrace, so gentle and protective. She ached from losing that connection, the time they spent as one being always too fleeting, and Tony kissed away the tears, comforting her with his love. Through the long healing months she had never been sure they would get to this place again, skin on skin and a physical sharing of love. Ziva was so thankful that gift had not been lost forever.

_I love having fun with you, the unexpected that comes because it is part of your personality. Some of my best memories are laughing with you, the joy of kisses snuck away from others' eyes, and the way you have looked at me with adoration and wonder since I first entrusted you with my heart._

_I love you Anthony DiNozzo and everything about our life together. I'm so thankful and blessed to call you my husband. With all that I am, your Ziva xxxo._

Reading it over, Ziva smiled at the almost poetic way her heart had spilled out on the page and folded it in half, sealing the gift of words inside an envelope and trying to decide where to leave it. This one she did not want hidden for long so she put it in his bedside table, pushed slightly inside the blue velvet ring box he would likely open tonight so they could wear their promises until Monday morning. His name and a faint sparkly lip gloss print graced the outside of the envelope and Ziva closed the drawer. If she was lucky she might be around to see his face when he discovered it. Watching his expression when he saw her love on paper was always her favourite part.

Her husband walked in the front door only a minute later and held out a single white Gerber daisy with a pink center. "For you m'lady."

She took it with a smile. "Thank you ahava. What is the occasion?"

He shook his head. "No occasion, just because." Sliding an arm around her waist, he drew her close and claimed her mouth, frowning as he pulled away. "Did you eat the last chocolate covered strawberry?" There'd only been one left after they helped themselves to a few before breakfast, seeing as yesterday both had gotten too wrapped up in other things to make it to the food kind of dessert.

Ziva's expression was all innocence. "Why do you ask?"

Tony's exploration was a little more thorough this time and he grinned. "Because I can taste chocolate."

She pressed her lips together. "I'll never tell."

"I bet I could make you."

Ziva knew better than to start that game with her husband and slid her arms over his shoulders, turning the conversation serious with her next words. "I have recently become aware that your offered promotion to Rota is no longer a secret."

He sighed, working his hands under the shirt to caress her warm skin. "I let it slip to McGee one day that summer, can't remember why, and I assumed he would eventually tell Abby. I don't think Jenny ever shared the information with Gibbs, but he probably knew anyways." Tony hugged her tightly. "A lot of things didn't seem important to keep to myself when I didn't care about anything except what I'd lost."

"I wish they saw how much you deserved it then," she shared softly. "You deserve it even more now."

They shared a quick kiss. "Thanks honey. But I think, for now, I'm content if things stay the way they are."

Ziva skimmed her lips over his a final time. "I'm going for a shower. You're welcome to join me."

Tony grinned. "Maybe I'll hold your towel afterwards instead."

"Or find a reason for me not to wear one at all, yes?" she snorted, walking away.

Waiting until he heard the shower door close, Tony entered the office and began scanning the neatly ordered rows of books belonging to his wife. From his pocket came a list of William Faulkner's nineteen published novels and he carefully ticked off each one as he came across it, looking for what might be missing. Though the number was few, those ones he circled and decided a trip to Barnes and Noble should be in his future soon. If his wife loved Faulkner's writing that much, regardless of what he thought about the man, she should definitely have more of it to enjoy.

_Replies:_

_Guest - wow, thanks :) Nice to know people are sticking around that long. Thank you, that's so sweet of you to say :) lol...you've got a long time to wait. The reveal is one year and a bit away in story time, likely a year to two years away in real life writing time. With all the anticipation building, I only hope it'll live up to expectations when we finally get there. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Allie (Ch 41) - 2 reviews from you, what a treat! It's a shame you don't have an account, then I could reply directly to you. But this works too :) Thank you so much, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, I've been saving the trapped scene forever so I'm glad to put it out finally. Somalia as a huge giant mountain in front of them has been conquered, but that doesn't mean it won't pop up here and there and make for some uneasy moments. She's handling that stuff so much better now, I'm really proud of her :) Gifts are always so hard to come up with, so I'm glad you liked them. Oh, okay, I didn't realize it was just going to be a seasonal thing rather than a place to live. That's fair enough. Even if you're used to Southern Ontario winters being cold isn't much fun. I'm about an hour and a half, maybe 2 from you, something like that. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Allie (Ch 42) - lol...you're not alone. EJ was not my favourite person either (same with Rob) and I seriously debated banning them from this series entirely. But since from the beginning I committed to following canon as closely as I could, they had to stay in. Geez, she and Gibbs annoyed me because they did not act like adults around each other either, just kids scrapping on a playground and waiting for the teacher to intervene so one of them gets their way. Not cool. Thanks :) It has been fun to tweak the scenes involving she and T&amp;Z. I'm having to go back and check episodes now because I think I'm actually missing some of those interactions, probably because I ignored most of the times she was around :P Oops. Mmm...relatively smoothly maybe? I haven't fully written the other chapters so I never really know what's going to happen for sure until they're done. Thanks so much for reviewing, I appreciate it! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest - Thank you :) I'm glad you enjoyed that part. Rob is banned from S9 as if he never existed (minus the one episode that features him, A Desperate Man) but he will continue to be part of S8 until the end. That stuff is already written and I'm thankful I don't have to spend much more time with him. Nice guy but he's got his eyes on a girl who's not available :) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Melissa - Hi, thank you, that's very sweet of you to say :) It's fun to be able to add in extra conversations with T&amp;Z inspired by something that actually happened on the show. Yes, I'm not tweaking EJ's character any, she may even be more aggressive than canon simply because she's pursuing a guy who is playing hard to get because he's not available but can't tell her that. It'll be nice to get this stuff out of the way I think. I'm really looking forward to the inbetween story that comes after this one, but I still have quite a few chapters left before we get there. Still, I hope this section with EJ lives up to expections. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_SkiGirl - Hi :) You are very welcome, thank you for reading! Wow, I really appreciate that you read Remnants too, that was a long series and I put a lot of work into it so it's nice that people are still checking it out. And re-reading is a huge compliment for this author, so thank you for that as well. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, that means a lot. lol...that's not the first time I've heard that. I think most of us now would like a 'Tony' in our lives :P I really appreciate the time you took to leave a review, your English is just fine :) As long as God allows and inspires the inspiration, I'll be here. I still have a lot more story that I hope to share with you guys. Thank you again ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - thank you :) I've been saving the tweaked shower scene for a long time, it was nice to finally be able to share it. I'm glad you liked it. I agree, that relationship didn't do anything good for show-Tony. Story-Tony however is going to have his hands full fending off her advances for the next couple months. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest - lol...that's kind of a funny coincidence (not that Gibbs' believes in those :P). When I watch the show now I'm not even sure if I see what really happened or if I just interpret all of T&amp;Z's interactions through the lense of MIT. But it's fun regardless :) I'll do my best. I'm glad you're enjoying the stories, that really makes me happy. haha...I live for fluffy Tiva moments, as you can probably tell ;) I'm disappointed I wasn't able to get this chapter up on time as I have a self-imposed deadline for finishing this part of the story. Hopefully I can do better this week. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	44. 8x19 Tell-All 2

**Saturday February 26**

Tony and Ziva spent a lazy morning in bed after a portion of last night had gone according to her predictions - he met her out of the shower with a thick towel warm from the dryer and wrapped it around her body. A smile became a kiss became a caress and soon enough they were tangled up together, the towel having been unceremoniously deposited on their bedroom floor. On call weekend notwithstanding, each hour that went by in which their phones did not go off was a good one. Absently stroking her husband's arm where it draped across her waist, Ziva lifted her other hand to admire her rings - putting them on had been the first thing Tony did before divesting her of the towel.

"That's my favourite part," he mumbled against her shoulder. "My wife."

A slow smile crawled across her face and she rolled to meet his mouth with hers. "Mmm," she murmured a breath from his lips, "mine too."

Tony didn't know if she meant that was also her favourite part, or he was hers too. Both were true and yet another good reason to demonstrate to Ziva how much he loved her. Eventually the couple made it out of their bedroom and even the house, going all the way to Travis' diner for lunch and a desire to sample one of his famous sundaes. The food and dessert were delicious as usual but some of their satisfaction dissipated when first Ziva, then Tony's cell began playing their separate ringtones.

He sighed and answered without dropping her hand. "DiNozzo."

For a split second Ziva considered answering the same way, but the momentary enjoyment of the caller's shock would not likely be worth possible consequences. "David."

Both listened and staggered their goodbyes so whoever was on the other end wouldn't hear, then exchanged disappointed glances. "Duty calls."

Ziva wiggled her cell. "Literally."

"C'mon. I told McGee twenty minutes and we're not even home yet."

She smirked. "I told Gibbs fifteen. Race you!" Taking off, she sprinted down the sidewalk but soon heard her husband close behind. He caught her at the bottom of the driveway and kissed her breathless, then they grabbed NCIS backpacks by the door and hurried off. The benefit of being called in meant they came in the comfortable clothes they were already wearing, without the need to dress a little more professionally. With work cutting into their weekend time, Tony would take whatever perks he could get.

They'd gotten as far as parking in the staff lot at NCIS before the sun glinting off Tony's ring caught her eye when he put the visor up. "Oh."

He frowned. "What?" Ziva didn't say a word, just held up her left hand and Tony's breath whooshed out. "Oh crap. Zi, how did we manage that?" For four and a half years they'd been vigilant about never wearing their rings out of the house if they were heading to work, and now suddenly they didn't notice until they were ready to walk into the building?

She twisted the gold circles around and slowly pulled them off, holding them in her palm. "It has never been that close before." Except for when she first returned and they wore the rings to one of her appointments with Ducky at his house, during the leave time they'd taken from work.

"It's not like an on call weekend is a new thing."

Ziva thought back to the day before. "I think we were just in the wrong mindset. Even when I envisioned putting our rings on for the weekend, I planned to wear mine right until Monday morning. Removing them in case we got called in did not even register as a blimp on my radar."

He choked back a laugh. "That would be 'blip' on your radar Mrs. DiNozzo." A sigh escaped when he worked the ring over his knuckles. "So now what?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "Put them in our pockets and be careful not to loose them today I guess."

"You know, if you hadn't said anything I would've gone in still wearing it."

Ziva tilted her head. "Are you disappointed?"

Tony shoved his wedding band deep into his jeans' pocket. "Not disappointed, just...looking forward to it. Someday. Think that's how we should make the announcement, just walk in with our rings in place and holding hands?"

Though the 'someday' in their plans of eventually revealing their marriage was a rather large subject, ways to tell the team was something they rarely discussed. "Maybe we should start a list," she suggested, hoping to avoid the topic a bit longer. Conversations about 'what' and 'when' usually only resulted in frustration now while their choices were so limited by the unpredictable reactions of others. Leaning across the console, she swept her lips lightly over his. "For now, we are expected upstairs."

True and this time as with so many others, responsibility outweighed desire. But one day, maybe not so far from now, that wouldn't be the case and Tony wasn't sure if he eagerly anticipated or dreaded when that moment would come. When one didn't know what to expect, change was something to be regarded warily.

**NCIS**

Gibbs was keeping Celeste company while she cleaned the bathroom - her least favourite chore - and he, unbeknownst to her, worked on the gift he hoped to give her ten months from now. With any luck her reaction would be well worth the year and a half he'd have put into it by then.

"Is it sunny in DC today?" Celeste asked, tossing another dirty rag towards the basket. Their tub did not get scrubbed often enough.

He glanced out the window. "Yup. And if I didn't know better I'd say it's mid-March, not late February."

"Itching to get back to your gardening Jethro?" she teased lightly.

Though he'd planted them because Shannon loved flowers, since losing the girls he found a certain amount of solace in tending them during the spring and summer. "Nothin' wrong with digging around in the dirt sometimes."

Celeste rinsed the tub and began rehanging the recently bleached shower curtain. "Your reputation would be ruined if people knew you had hobbies that involved actual growing things instead of just building your boat."

Gibbs ignored her. "Gonna put that clean bathtub to good use later?" Like many women, his ex-wife occasionally indulged in a long relaxing soak under a layer of bubbles to draw out stress and tension.

She stood with her hands on her hips, observing the transformation. "Maybe tomorrow. It takes so much work to clean that I lose the motivation for a bath by the time I'm done."

He chuckled and continued shaping the wood in his hand. "I've told you before Les, hire a housekeeper. It'll save you the frustration."

"I'm a grown woman," Celeste complained. "I should be responsible enough to keep on top of this stuff."

The argument was an old one. Fact of the matter was, she just had too much else in her head to bother with cleaning. "It's not a fundamental character flaw." Goodness knew he only cleaned when it became absolutely necessary and one of these days he probably would have someone come in and handle that just to take it off the list.

"We'll have to agree to disagree on that one," Celeste sighed, changing the subject as she gathered her supplies to return them to the closet. "What did you have for lunch?"

"Coffee," Gibbs smirked, knowing it would get a rise out of her.

"Jethro," came his ex-wife's exasperated tone, and he could picture her expression.

"And a sandwich," he amended.

"Good." Celeste wandered into the kitchen. "It's eight-five degrees today and I'm making stew. What does that say?"

"That your heart's still on the East Coast," Gibbs chuckled, until the words registered in his ears.

Celeste swallowed hard and closed her eyes, leaning her forehead on the wall._ If only you knew Jethro, how true that is. _Fighting tears because of how badly her heart wanted to go home, she strove to keep them out of her voice. "It always has been," she confessed in words so faint they could barely be heard. Then she straightened and cleared her throat, refusing to dwell on the climb ahead of them. "Tell me about the book you're reading." That, at least, was a safe topic.

Gibbs opened his mouth to answer, ignoring the swirling confusion of the last minute inside, but just then his cell trilled and he frowned. After three rings Celeste spoke, her amusement clear. "Are you going to answer that?"

"Haven't decided yet," he replied gruffly, reaching for the offending device. "Hold on a sec Les. Gibbs." A few seconds later she heard it flip closed and he sighed. "We're getting called in. Hotline has a tip to check out, looks credible." Ever since what happened to Macy's team, hotline tips were vetted before a team was sent out and there was always a secondary team on standby in case backup was needed. A little more complicated process than before, but ensuring agent safety was a high priority.

"Go on then," Celeste encouraged.

He dropped his carving supplies in the box and stared at the portable phone where she was on speaker. "Not trying to put the job ahead of you." It was a weighty confession, but one she needed to hear, especially considering the insecurity she'd laid bare before him a week ago.

"Jethro," her tone gentled and she recognized the line he was drawing, the difference between him now and the man who sacrificed their marriage to catch Kyle Boone, "I understand, and I'm not taking it personally. Go catch the bad guys. I'll still be here next time."

Grumbling a bit under his breath, Gibbs managed a, "Thanks," and "Look forward to it," before hanging up and heading in. There were times when the job asked more of him than he really wanted to give.

**NCIS**

Tony stopped just outside the breakroom and watched Ziva fix her tea. A content smile graced his lips when his gaze fell on her anniversary ring. He was so lucky that this beautiful amazing woman had promised to be his, to belong with him for the rest of their lives. Some days that fact still had to be stopped and savoured.

"I can feel you staring amore." She didn't even glance his direction.

Having already scouted the area thoroughly for witnesses, he figured they had at least a couple minutes in the clear. And the shirt Ziva was wearing, a long sleeved, wide necked, horizontal striped tee, had been driving him crazy since they arrived. Tony crossed the space between them and stood behind his wife, hands resting on her shoulders. Slowly he slipped one sleeve down and pressed his lips to the exposed tan skin.

Ziva melted into him even as she turned her head slightly. "Tony, we are at work."

"Yeah," he replied just as quietly, "but it's Saturday."

She was all set to shift in his arms and steal a kiss when the sound of footsteps broke through their bubble. Seconds later they were several inches apart, Tony grabbing a mug to pour coffee into on pretense. Peripheral vision showed a new agent that didn't cause concern and the couple strove to appear relaxed.

The newbie walked past, barely paying any attention to the members of Team Gibbs. Then his eyes caught something odd and he backtracked, frowning. But at a second look there was nothing unusual and he shook his head. He must've only imagined that Agent David's shirt had fallen off her shoulder. That in itself was a dangerous thought. Everyone knew that any guy who showed too much interest in the exotically sexy agent had to deal with her protective partner. The whole building was laying odds on those two being more than just partners, despite Gibbs' infamous rule, but there'd never been any concrete proof. A chuckle escaped. Maybe next time he'd have to pass the breakroom a whole lot stealthier. It would be interesting to see what he'd find when they weren't expecting company. And hey, he might even be able to contribute to the betting pot if he had the help of some inside information rather than the guesswork the rest of the building was using.

Once the danger of discovery had passed and the hall in both directions was clear, Tony slid his fingers along Ziva's jaw and captured her lips for a tender caress. Pulling back enough to see her eyes while keeping his arm anchored around her waist he murmured, "Thank you for the letter you left last night."

"Those things were important for you to know," Ziva said softly. "It is my way of reminding you how very much you are loved."

A fierce, emotionally weighted kiss was her reward and he held her tightly for a long moment. "I can't wait until we're back home."

"I know."

Letting her see clear to his heart, Tony whispered 'I love you' roughly in her ear and let go, rushing back to his desk, afraid of what he might let himself do if he stayed even a second longer. Even after years by her side he never ever got enough of his wife.

**NCIS**

He gave her a quick kiss when he dropped her off at the house after work. "Have a nice run. What should I bring back for supper?"

Ziva shrugged. "Surprise me."

"Will do. I love you."

Sometimes she just had to pause for a moment and soak in those words. "I love you too."

Once she was inside Tony turned the car around and pointed it towards Alexandria where the nearest Barnes and Noble store was. Knowing that he was on a bit of a tight time limit he didn't waste any wandering around inside, instead he found an employee, got pointed in the right direction, and was on his way to pick up take out fifteen minutes later. There was a bit of a wait, more so than he'd expected on a Saturday night, but soon enough he was pulling into their driveway. When he walked in the door Ziva was just coming out bathroom, damp hair twisted up in a clip so it didn't leave a wet spot on her shirt.

"What did we get?"

Tony held up the bag with a grin. "Thought we'd try some Greek tonight - gyros and salad."

"Sounds good to me."

They unpacked the food into bowls and plates and settled on the couch - Ziva cross-legged and Tony with his feet propped up on the coffeetable. He glanced at her as he picked up the remote. "Five-0?"

Ziva nodded. "Yes. We are at least three episodes behind."

Tony had stumbled upon the reboot of the show sometime in October and became fascinated, something he shared with his wife soon after. They DVR'd re-runs so they could get caught up to where the season was now, but with work and being away and holidays and family disturbances they couldn't keep to any sort of schedule and indulged in the recorded episodes whenever they got the chance.

Halfway through the back to back episodes Ziva was comfortably tucked against her husband's side with his arm around her. He let out a loud sigh at the bright sunshine and beautiful blue water. "That's it. I think I want to move there."

She glanced up, one eyebrow lifted. "To Oahu?"

"Yup." He gestured at the screen. "What's not to like? Sun, sand, surf, great food, and you never have to wear a winter coat."

Ziva nodded. "I see the perks. But do you not think we would miss the life we've built here?"

While Tony hadn't intended his remark to be serious, his wife's response told him she was taking it that way. He brushed his lips over her forehead. "Well, for a vacation then."

She draped her arm over his waist. "There is always our honeymoon."

Another 'someday' topic like the one they shelved in the car earlier. Then again, it was never too early to start keeping track of possibilities. "Yeah, maybe. We do seem to have a thing for tropical island paradises."

"They have worked well so far." The Bahamas and St. Martin would forever hold cherished places in her memories of their marriage.

Later, before they went to bed, Tony pulled Ziva into the office and held out the bookstore bag. "I got you something."

When no other explanation followed, she reached inside and pulled out a thick volume - The Collected Stories of William Faulkner. Her entire expression softened as she caressed the cover. "Thank you Tony."

"I noticed you didn't have that one." He folded his fingers loosely together. "Somehow I missed learning that he is one of your favourite authors." Her mouth sought his and he gladly indulged but there was a question still lingering from what she'd said in the warehouse. "Did you really learn English just for his writing?"

Ziva held her new book carefully. "I learned English because acquiring the skill was demanded of me. But, among others, Faulkner's books made the frustration of trying to grasp an ever evolving language worth it."

Tony settled his lips gently on hers. "I know of one person who is infinitely glad you learned English."

"Oh, and who is that?"

His knuckles slid down her cheek. "Your husband. He would've hated to miss out on any of what we have now."

Ziva held his face in her hands, molding her mouth to his. "You are even more worth the effort ahava, betach bi." _Trust me._

**NCIS**

**Sunday February 27**

Ziva sat on the couch in her husband's dress shirt with a cup of tea and watched sunrise reflecting off their neighbour's windows. Though her eyes were fixed outside, her mind was lost to memories of the night before. Flashes of moments filled the stillness and made a smile play across her lips while slender fingers tangled gently in the chain of her 'Z' necklace. Tony kissing her, Tony's warm sure hands caressing her back, Tony hovering over her when they became one for the thousandth time since their first.

That was how he found her and he lingered in the bedroom doorway a minute to observe without interrupting her reverie. Then Ziva suddenly had her tea mug removed and her husband's lips where it had just been. She brought her hands to his face, smiling into the kiss. "Good morning."

Tony sought her mouth again briefly. "Mornin' Mrs. DiNozzo." Ziva scooted over a bit so he could wedge himself in beside her. "Whatcha thinking about?"

She lightly touched his ring. "Us."

Tony's train of thought took a detour to their previous evening's activities as well and he nodded. "Anything in particular?"

Ziva got on her knees beside him, the shirt riding up enough to reveal silky panties underneath while she played with his chain. "I was thinking that I will never get tired of making love with you or the way you look at me in bed, how gentle and possessive your touch is, your lips claiming mine. I love everything about us ahava," she whispered in his ear.

He pulled her into his lap, keeping her close. "I never knew before what it meant to treasure intimacy like I do now with you." Tony cupped her cheek in one hand, staring into her eyes. "I need you to know how much I cherish our lovemaking Zi. It's something I can't even describe."

"I know. And all the more deeper for the months we spent without that connection."

She so rarely brought up Somalia and the aftereffects that it gave him a pause, but there were no shadows in her eyes. "Those months taught me never to take anything for granted with you. Not the simplicity of your hand in mine, the touch of your lips, freedom for my hands to be welcome on you, or the sharing of your body. Nothing."

"You are doing a good job," Ziva whispered. "No one ever made me feel cherished before you."

"All those idiots who gave you up will never know what they lost. But because they let you go, I get to have the love of my life." He quirked a grin. "I owe those ex-boyfriends of yours a lot."

She rolled her eyes. "You have ruined the moment.

Tony kissed her slowly. "That's okay. We've always been really good at making more."

**NCIS**

**Monday February 28**

Sunday had been a relaxing, bonding time together. At basketball practice with their friends they had finally been able to deliver the long awaited cologne to the waiting guys, which had been waiting at the post office since early in the week when Tony let her know about a message in the mailbox that a parcel was ready to be picked up. They apologized for the delay and were met with no hard feelings, only Adrian's enthusiastic announcement that he planned to try it out on his wife that night. To which Mark wore the tested patience look only a father could produce and informed him about that being a little bit too much information. Adrian would never change, after almost twenty years together the guys had accepted that, but they also loved him and his personality too much to wish him to be any other way.

When Ziva got up shortly after five the next morning Tony assumed she was going for a run. But instead the shower started and she reappeared a few minutes later for her clothes. He blinked bleary eyes and pushed himself up on one elbow. "Did we get a call in that I missed?"

She finished tucking in the tank top she wore under her shirts and sat beside him on the bed. "No. I'm just going in early."

He yawned and rubbed her arm. "Why?"

"To keep up appearances mostly. I will spend some time in the firing range and have tea with Ducky. Both are things I enjoy and neither have I done in ages." Ziva pressed her lips to his. "I will see you there."

Not nearly coherent enough yet to process what she was telling him, he nodded sleepily. "Uh-huh. Okay. Bye."

Ziva chuckled, knowing he would probably show up at the office wearing a frown and wondering why she was gone before he got up. But such was her husband. It would not be the first time she'd had a conversation with him in his sleep. Even though he appeared to be awake, he would get up with no recollection of what they'd talked about. It was a rather amusing quandary.

True to her word she spent forty-five minutes challenging herself with the guns and targets and then made her way up one floor to Autopsy. The doors slid open as the medical examiner was pouring himself a steaming mug of tea and he looked up in surprise. "Ziva! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Ziva entered the room and eyed the teapot fondly. "I was hoping to revive a neglected tradition. Might I trouble you for a cup of tea Doctor?"

Ducky grinned. "Of course. Come in and sit down. I'm delighted you could join me this morning."

She got her tea just right and took a sip, flexing her fingers when she set the cup down. "I came in early today for some extra practice in the firing range."

"I would think your skills already outrank anyone else in the building, except maybe Jethro."

Ziva smiled into her drink. "My father always said practice makes perfect." He would also finish the quote with 'anything less than perfection is failure', though she would leave that part out to sugarcoat it a bit. "I may hate the saying, but there is wisdom there as well." She shook her head. "But enough about me, tell me how things have been with you."

Perfectly tickled to regale a willing audience with his stories, Ducky launched right into a memory that had come up with their latest case and Ziva listened politely and intently, as if she was taking each word to heart. When he finished she encouraged another and then, quite to the disappointment of both, a glance at the clock showed she was expected upstairs to start work.

She stood and bent to kiss his cheek. "Thank you Ducky. This was a wonderful way to start the morning."

He patted her hand. "I agree. It has been quite some time since we last shared a pot."

"Too long," Ziva agreed. "But I hope not to repeat that mistake."

"You are welcome anytime," Ducky told her sincerely. "Stay out of trouble today."

She smiled indulgently. "I will do my best."

He watched her go and realized for the first time how adept she was at getting around personal topics. Any question he'd asked about her life had been turned back at him or had prompted a story or some bit of trivia. She'd spent half an hour sitting across from him and hadn't uttered a single thing about her life. Whatever secrets she was keeping, the girl was doing a remarkable job. He did wonder, however, how long such a front could be maintained.

**NCIS**

It wasn't unusual to find the members of Team Gibbs still at their desks when the clock pointed to a time for everyone to be safe at home, but tonight that scenario wasn't entirely their boss's fault. McGee finished his report three quarters of an hour before and left immediately after barely a goodbye, continuing to carry the weight of his separation from anything Abby related. The senior field agent had begun his report with diligence but stalled once he and Ziva were alone in the otherwise empty office and though she was now putting the finishing touches on hers, he'd spent the bulk of the last hour staring at his wife, a TV show scene running continually through his head. He was actually kind of surprised she hadn't commented on it yet.

All of a sudden he couldn't take it anymore and his restraint snapped. Before he could talk himself out of the decision, Tony got up and strode over to Ziva. He pulled her to her feet, held her face between his hands, and kissed her the way he'd always wanted to at work despite the risk of being caught. Ziva was startled by his actions to say the least but responding to her husband was so ingrained she did it without a second thought, not even attempting to make him stop. The kiss went on and on and when he finally broke away Ziva had to wait a few seconds before she could trust her voice.

Reaching up, she skimmed her fingertips over his jaw. "Tony, where did that come from?"

He let out a breath, still holding her tightly against him. "I was testing myself." Her brow furrowed and he continued. "Anyone could've walked in and seen that. If they did, would I be willing to tell the truth despite possible consequences, even if it was Gibbs? Or would I make up a quick cover story to protect our secret?" Tony made a face, shaking his head. "I still don't know."

Absorbing all of what he said, Ziva took the lighter route and smirked. "There was something awfully familiar about that moment."

He huffed a laugh. "Can't fool you, huh?"

"Never."

"I've been thinking about it all week, ever since we watched that episode."

She smiled. "I think I like this take charge husband side of you."

His eyebrows rose. "Is that so? Want to see more of it?" Ziva shrugged but the mischievous glint in her eyes gave the answer away. "Let's get out of here."

Her gaze flickered to his desk. "Your report?"

"I'll come in early tomorrow." His lips brushed hers again. "This is more important."

Ziva didn't need to be told twice and they quickly packed their things. Tony didn't realize he'd missed a text until he saw the light blinking on his phone the next morning, loathe to leave his beautiful wife, wrapped in the sheet and nothing else, alone in their bed. He read the message on his way out the door and though it gave him a brief pause, he didn't let it stop him in his tracks. Sooner or later the secret was going to come out and if nothing else he'd at least stop fighting the inevitable. But still he wondered as he saved the text what would be waiting when he got to work.

_Quite the show you and Ziva put on in the squadroom. Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. AP._

**NCIS**

**Tuesday March 1**

When their plates had been cleared Tony stood and went to the jukebox, fishing a handful of change from his pocket while he perused the selection. The music began and he motioned for Ziva to join him. She did, stepping into his arms easily and following his lead. She cocked an eyebrow at him. "I did not know you are a country music fan."

He chuckled. "Not by choice, believe me." Tony spun her out and back into him. "Cassie likes it and she spent a lot of time at The Pad. It was either learn to appreciate her music or go stark raving mad listening to it all the time. I went with the former." He stared into her eyes, emphasizing the words as he sang along to the chorus. "To the world, you may be just another girl. But to me, baby you are the world."

Ziva smiled. "I like this one."

Tony grinned. "Me too."

Another verse played through and her expression became questioning. "Tony, what is our song?" In the romantic movies and books all couples had their own signature music, but she could find none that stood out for them.

Opening his mouth to give her an answer, his brow suddenly furrowed. "Y'know, I don't know. Give me some time to think about it honey."

"I'm sure it will be a good one," she responded, not really worried about the outcome.

"No doubt about it." His lips brushed hers and Travis slapped a wooden spoon on the counter.

"Take it easy lovebirds, you'll scare away potential customers with mush like that."

Tony stuck out his tongue in response and let go of Ziva long enough to pick a new song. This one was different, slower, and he held her much closer, turning his face into her hair. Enjoying the sweet moment, Ziva rested her head on his chest and breathed in her favourite scent. Partway through Tony spun her around gently so his chest was pressed against her back. They swayed from side to side and he moved the curls off her neck, pressing his lips to the scar under her hairline, one of the few that still stood out and she often kept it covered because of that.

He nuzzled her ear. "Why does it bother you so much Zi? There were others that looked a lot worse in the beginning, but this is the one you hide. I know there's a reason."

She stiffened in his embrace and glanced towards Travis, unwilling to share where someone else might hear. Tony, appreciating that she wasn't saying no, nodded. He raised a hand at the owner. "Thanks Travis. Tell Janna we'll be back for more of those brownies. That was heaven in chocolate form."

He grinned. "Will do." His wife of two months after they reconnected over the summer, and once upon a time his college sweetheart, was determined to be a help in his business and had been spoiling their customers for weeks with her bakery worthy creations. "See you."

Instead of going to their car, Tony walked until he found a gazebo in a nearby park. Tugging Ziva down to sit on his lap, he wrapped his arms firmly around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. "So?"

She sighed, rubbing her finger over where his ring usually sat. "That is where it bled when Saleem ripped off my necklace." Ziva wiped at her eye in anticipation of tears. To lose the last gift her mother ever gave her... She swallowed. "That is also where they cut and burned me to make sure I could never forget they owned me. Though I doubt they ever expected me to survive my captivity." Ziva hid her face in his neck. "They stole my identity, the deepest part of who I am as a person. I do not want other people to notice so I have to explain. It still makes me feel...bound to that place sometimes."

"Oh Ziva," Tony breathed against her coat, "why didn't you tell me?"

She shrugged. "You know so many details. Those were enough."

He hugged her, enclosing her in his love, holding her even if she didn't cry. Then he stood, bringing her with him, and swept her hair aside, surrounding the scar in tiny kisses and warming her skin with his lips for a long time. Finally Tony rubbed his thumb over the spot. "You need a new memory for that scar. Maybe you should get a tattoo, some symbol that means strength or...I don't know, like the phoenix rising from the ashes."

Ziva shuddered at the thought of more needles piercing her skin. "Thank you for thinking of it. But I cannot now...yet."

He seemed to understand and kissed beside her eye. "Thank you for trusting me babe. I promise we'll get through this."

It was that truth Ziva would hold onto with all her might.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday March 2**

EJ marched into the office at eight o'clock in the morning, dropped her things at her desk, and headed straight up to Director Vance's office, leaving four curious pairs of eyes staring after her. She waited in the outer office while his secretary announced her and went in once given permission where she stood in front of his desk waiting to be noticed. She didn't have to wait long. Vance finished scrawling his signature at the bottom of a page and looked up. "Agent Barrett, I trust you were able to get the housing situation taken care of?"

"Yes Sir."

Leon gestured to one of the chair. "Please, have a seat."

"Thank you." EJ rested her palms on her knees. "Did the Secretary explain my purpose here?"

Vance leaned back in his chair. "Yes he did. And while I appreciate the wisdom of you being here with access to better resources than your home office and having your team on the ground following up leads, the risk level does stand out."

"I'm prepared to accept that."

"Is your team?"

"Yes Director." Her gaze hardened. "We've been after him for too long to let a little thing like risk slow us down now. This started on my turf Sir, I'm determined to see it through."

"Very well." The director tapped his pen on the desk. "Has the command post been set up?"

"Yes Sir," EJ nodded. "It's concealed in a secure location. That's where I'll be spending the majority of my time for now." Having an out-of-the-office place to work was essential, that way she could stay in contact with her team but no one would have any idea what case they were working on. She didn't need any other agents trying to help and getting in the way.

"You do remember that the agreement includes you spending two days a week in this office? It would look a bit suspicious if you arrived only days ago and then disappeared for weeks while you're running down leads."

"I understand the terms Director. As long as the days don't have to be consecutive. I can't promise I'll have that length of time available once things get rolling."

Vance studied her body language. She was eager to move forward on this case, but he'd seen agents get too attached before and EJ's personality already suggested she could get obsessed. He didn't need to lose any more personnel because of target fixation. "Fair enough. Any questions?"

EJ shook her head firmly. "No Sir."

He stood and she did the same. "Fine. Then you're dismissed." She turned to go but he called her back. "And Agent Barrett? Good luck. It's time we caught this dirtbag."

"I agree." With that she departed and Vance stared out the window. He didn't like where this was going, they'd been three steps behind since the case began, and he understood the SecNav's insistence that something be done. He just wasn't entirely sure this was the right way to go about it. If the killer came to DC, the MCRT would not be pleased to learn that their place in the pecking order has been usurped by a group of agents with much less experience investigating violent crimes. And he had no answer to offer when Gibbs came barging in, which he was sure to do. On this matter and many others, his hands were already tied.

EJ happened to pass the bullpen later that day when Tony was alone, since McGee was out grabbing lunch orders, Ziva was spending a little time with Abby in the lab, and Gibbs had gone who knows where. Seizing the opportunity, she stopped by his desk. "Want some coffee? I'm going to make a fresh pot. The last one tasted burnt."

His head jerked up and surprise was written all over his expression, like he hadn't even noticed her there. "I'm sorry, what?"

She held up her mug. "Coffee?"

A bit bewildered, he shook his head. "No thanks, I'm good."

"Well, if you change your mind..." EJ could feel the way his gaze followed her and she smirked. At least she had his attention now. On her return trip to her desk she paused again. "Have any plans for after work?"

Tony eyed her warily before nodding slowly. "Actually yeah, I'm getting together with some friends tonight."

"That's a shame." His brow furrowed and she smiled. "Not that you have friends, just that you're not free. I was going to offer dinner. And maybe afterwards you could've showed me around the city a bit. I'm sure you know all the places that aren't in the tourist guide."

Swallowing hard and only imagining what his wife would say if she walked in on the exchange, Tony simply shrugged. "Timing."

"Well, perhaps the offer will still be there next time, when you're free."

Rubbing the back of his neck roughly, Tony stood. "I've gotta um...yeah. See you."

He hurried off and EJ chuckled. So he was a little bit shy. Not a problem. She could work with that. When a guy looked like Anthony DiNozzo one didn't give up after the first failed attempt. She had a feeling he'd be worth the trouble it took to find a way in.

**NCIS**

"Happy Retirement Uncle Red!" McKenna announced as soon as he walked in, running over with a shiny pointed hat in hand.

Darien shared a look with Mark, whose silent response was definitely 'Told ya', and crouched down so she could put it on him. Then he swung her up in his arms. "Thank you Miss Ken, now it feels like a party."

She hugged him and was set back on the floor, leading the way into the kitchen. "Oh good, because we have cake and ice cream and pi-"

At that point Alec rushed over and covered her mouth. "Some things are supposed to be a surprise," he reminded his sister in a firm tone.

McKenna wriggled free and made a face at him, then turned back to Darien. "Come on, we have a special chair just for you."

Said chair was decorated with streamers and balloons and stickers with sayings like, 'Over the Hill', 'Put out to Pasture' and other similar phrases. The guys all stood behind it wearing big grins and he rolled his eyes. "Nice, thanks. Way to be supportive bros." He sat down without looking and a loud noise emanated from under the cushion. The entire room burst out laughing and Darien shook his head. "Real mature."

Adrian and Tony were laughing so hard they had to wipe away tears, while Brent manage to gain his composure and point across the table. "Don't look at us. The amigos have been sneaking around here acting secretive for the last half hour. We didn't know they were boobytrapping things."

"One too many stories about those prank wars huh?" Emma commented.

Darien shot a look at the failing-to-appear-innocent children, let out a roar, and gave chase. He caught them in the livingroom and took them to the floor, raining down a punishment of tickles until they cried for mercy. Then he shot the other adults a smug smile and plopped into his seat, forgetting about the whoopie cushion. When the whole group dissolved into giggles again he gave up and joined in. Once everyone could breathe properly, Cassie gestured to the table. "Cake anyone?"

There was a resounding chorus of 'yes' but when Adrian reached for the first plate Cassie whacked him with a wooden spoon. It remained a mystery to all of them how she managed to have one handy whenever it was needed. "Manners Mr. Platz, guest of honour first."

Adrian wrinkled his nose at her and made a great show of delivering the dessert to Darien, handing it over with a bow. Before he took the first bite Ryan ran forward. "Wait, you forgot the candle!" He jammed it in the center and Brent leaned over with a barbeque lighter for the wick. After it was lit they all sang 'Happy Retirement To You' to the tune of 'Happy Birthday' and Darien took a deep breath to blew it out, grinning at the kids. But then the candle was lit just as it had been at first and he glanced behind him suspiciously, wondering who had snuck the lighter that close without him noticing. Shrugging he blew it out again and by the second time the candle magically had a flame again, the kids were practically killing themselves laughing as they stayed just out of his reach.

"You guys are gonna get it," he warned, but he couldn't bring himself to be too upset when they were having so much fun.

Intervening temporarily, Cassie served everyone else and the party got into full swing. There were a couple other pranks but Mark put a stop to it by reminding them they wouldn't like it if someone tried to pay them back. Then came presents, everything from knitting how-to guides to Cat's Cradle, but eventually the serious ones took the place of the just-for-fun ones and Darien couldn't help feeling special by how much work they'd put into it. The surprise McKenna almost gave away earlier was a slideshow of pictures the frat brothers had put together, starting their first week as roommates at Ohio State and following them through the years right to present day. Some were crazy, some embarrassing, and almost all of them brought back fond memories, even some he'd forgotten. It had clearly taken a lot of work to get them all on computer and put to music with transitions, so he really appreciated the effort.

To end the night off they gave him a selection of football movies to choose from and _Rudy_ made the cut. All three kids cuddled up to Darien on the couch and each offered him one of their favourite kinds of candy. Tony provided trivia and the guys filled in 'remember when' moments from his years of playing that made the experience even better. But the best was when the film reached its end and the guys hefted Darien onto their shoulders to enact the final scene, all the while singing, "For he's a jolly good fellow..." A tribute didn't get any better than that.

When the party wrapped up and hugs and goodbyes and congratulations had all been taken care of, Tony and Ziva got in the car and headed for home. It was a little past their bedtime on a school night, but the celebration had been worth the lack of sleep they might experience. Ziva leaned her head back on the seat. "It seemed like Darien had a good time."

Tony wove their fingers together. "Yeah. He's not used to being the center of attention in the group, something like this is good for him." He chuckled, remembering everything the kids had pulled. "Those amigos better watch out. Good old Red Hot was the second half of the team for The Great Prank War of '92. He's got more ways to pay them back than they would come up with in a hundred years."

"I am glad they had so much fun together." She idly played with his fingers. "Some time has passed since my last visit to Gibbs' house, would you mind if I went over tomorrow and cooked him dinner?"

Tony was thinking the last time didn't even count because it had been during the turmoil after Eli's visit and she hadn't totally been herself. "I think that would be a good idea babe. Give the boss a little daughter time and maybe he won't be so growly on Friday. And if he was in a good enough mood to let us off early, that would be even better."

"Oh?" Her eyebrows rose. "Do you have a hot date you need to get ready for?"

"Well, I haven't asked her yet, but I'm hoping she'll say yes to something I have planned."

"I guess that depends on the something. Is it a good thing?"

He grinned. "I think it's a very good thing. Does she feel like living dangerously and saying yes but not getting all the details?"

Ziva tipped her head to the side, considering, but there was really only one answer. "Yes," she decided.

"Okay then." At a red stoplight he tugged her closer and they met in the middle to share a sweet kiss. "You're my adventure Zi."

"Hmm." She lingered to breathe in his scent. "Then I will do my best to be a good one."

"Already done," Tony murmured when the light turned green. And he wouldn't trade a minute.

_Replies:_

_Melissa - yeah, once in awhile they take over a chapter, it wasn't planned but I've learned just to roll with that kind of thing. I really enjoy the glimpse of a Tony/Jimmy friendship we got in 'Bounce' so I like to use it now and then when I come. Glad you enjoyed the TZ parts. Yes, I was referring to the story that covers the summer after S8. 'What Lies Between' - it's not lies as in not telling the truth but lies as in 'what IS between' (between the two seasons). Like the movie 'What Lies Beneath'. No one is lying to Z. Hope that clarifies. I think it's going to be interesting. Yes, I did choose to skip S8, Ep 18 because there wasn't enough Tiva interaction to fill a chapter. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	45. 8x19 Tell-All 3

_A/N: Sorry guys, I didn't mean to confuse everybody with the 'AP' reference. 'AP' is what Jimmy signs his clandestine correspondence with Tony, like he did the last time he left him a note about meeting in the evidence garage. It's short for 'Agent Palmer'. Thanks for sticking with this story, it means a lot :) ~Aliyah_

**Thursday March 3**

Claire gave a self-depreciating laugh after a second failed attempt to pluck out the basic notes of a simple song. "Oh dear. I may be your most difficult student yet."

"Hardly," Cassie smiled. "To date my most challenging case was actually six year old twins who wanted to learn at the same time. They fought like cats and dogs and contradicted each other on every point. I honestly think their mother agreed to lessons just for a half hour of peace."

Claire studied the notes on the page again and began to hesitantly peck them out on the keys. "And your biggest success?"

Memories flew through Cassie's head at a rapid pace and there were a multitude to choose from considering she'd been teaching for the better part of fifteen years. "A little boy whose skills outmatched mine in a matter of six months. His parents had to find him another instructor who could take him further in the art. Of anyone I've taught, he was the most likely to be a child prodigy."

"Impressive." This time Claire managed to get through the first stanza and Cassie made her do it a few more times, adding pointers when necessary.

"Not bad for your second lesson," she commented at the end.

"I hope you have a lot of patience Cassie, I have a feeling I'll be sticking around longer than most of your students."

"We'll have you up to speed in no time. It helps that you actually take my assignment to practice seriously. Some of the kids who come I'm pretty sure never touch the keys between one lesson and the next."

"I appreciate you making time for me." Claire gathered her things and smiled. "So we'll get the kids from school tomorrow?"

"Actually, do you guys mind coming here to get them around seven? We're going to have a last family dinner and give them the chance to say goodbye to Mark before he leaves on Saturday."

"That's right," Claire nodded, "I remember you said he was going to visit his brother. Is there anything your father and I can help you with while he's away?"

As strange as it was still to hear Claire referring to she and Matthew as a package deal, it wasn't nearly as bitter now as the first time Cassie heard it. "It's kind of you to offer. I'll let you know. The kids might need a little more distraction than usual and I have some projects I'd like to work on while I have the opportunity." She gave a rueful grin. "Maybe finally finish some of the things that have been on hold waiting for when I have time available."

"Anything you need."

She left and not long afterwards Mark came home for his late lunch break. He greeted her with a kiss. "How'd it go?"

"Better than I ever expected," Cassie admitted. "You guys are all right, she isn't so bad. Getting to know her in a more formal setting, student to teacher, the same way I would a stranger rather than as Dad's significant other is actually helping."

He ran his fingers down her arm. "You're going to be okay without supervision and the debrief while I'm away?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes Mom. And before you ask, I promise to be nice."

His lips caressed her forehead. "That's my girl. I'm proud of you, you know that right?"

Cassie nodded. "I'm starting to think I finally deserve it."

Mark wrapped his arms around her. "Boy am I going to miss this. Just coming home to hold you, kissing you whenever I want, talking with you about daily things." His brow furrowed. "When was the last time we spent a week apart?"

She shook her head. "Never Mr. Reece. Not once in over fifteen years of marriage have we been away from each other for more than a couple days. This is a whole new ballgame."

His eyebrows rose. "Sports' analogy Mrs. Reece, I'm impressed."

"I do what I can."

"Promise me you'll spent some time with the girls next week. It would be good for you to have a night in or out. And I'm going to make sure one of the guys stops by every day, in case you need something."

Cassie chuckled. "It is only a week away Mark, not like you're going off on crusade." His expression fell and she kissed him gently. "A week in which I will miss you very much, but I am not the helpless little woman who can't do anything by herself."

"Never implied as such," Mark retorted. "But I just want to make sure you're taken care of."

"Noted, and it's very sweet. Now, what can I make before you head back to the gym?"

"A really quick sandwich so I can enjoy some of your engaging company?" he offered hopefully.

"The sandwich is easy enough. As for the other," she spun away, eyes twinkling, "that you'll have to convince me of."

Mark hurried after her with a grin, knowing from experience how little persuading it would actually take. He wanted to appreciate the last forty-three hours he had with her before they'd be separated for seven days by a few thousand miles. He hadn't even left yet and as much as he looked forward to spending time with Kevin, already Mark couldn't wait to get back home where he belonged.

**NCIS**

As they'd agreed upon the plan last night, Tony and Ziva shared a silent goodbye and she waited until he and McGee headed out before approaching the team leader and sitting on the edge of his desk. The knowledge that she was the only one he allowed the privilege of doing so made her smile before she even began.

Assured they were alone, Gibbs looked up at his agent, though he expected at this moment she was only his daughter. "Something I can do for you Ziver?"

"Yes," she said simply. "Grab your gear." His eyes narrowed when the familiar phrase was directed at him and he waited for an explanation. After a few moments Ziva sighed. "I am making you dinner tonight."

Food was always a good place to start with bribery and Gibbs wondered if that's what the invitation was leading up to. "Okay." He stood and opened the drawer for his badge and weapon which convinced Ziva that he was cooperating, so she returned to her desk for her things as well.

Escorting her to the elevator with a hand at her lower back, he threw her a sideways glance once the doors closed behind them. "You okay?"

She smiled and slid her hand around his arm. "Yes. But it has been a few months since the last time and I just wanted to spend some time with my father."

He couldn't argue with that. Downstairs he expected her to head to wherever she parked, but Ziva followed him instead and made him ask. "Car?"

"I did not bring mine today. I will catch a cab home from your place."

Gibbs wanted to comment on the hint in her tone that she'd run the ten miles between her apartment and the Navy Yard, but he knew the odds of her running that distance on a regular basis was pretty high. Trying to get her to take it a little easier as an NCIS agent vs. a Mossad officer was a lost cause before he even began.

Though she, like Kate, had learned of his preference for silence in the car unless it was the radio, this was different and he listened leniently as she spoke about the book she was reading, guys she'd bested at the gym, new recipes she wanted to try, and a movie Tony recommended that proved again how little he knew about women. "Nothing but car chases, explosions, and robots," she scoffed, shaking her head. "I do not see the appeal."

Gibbs chuckled. "Not gonna let DiNozzo pick for the next movie night?"

Ziva hesitated briefly on how to answer that one, how much was safe to share? "No," she said slowly, "I believe he has lost the privilege for now."

Don't ask, don't tell was the only thing holding his tongue right now, but if he hadn't pulled into the driveway moments later Gibbs wasn't sure he could've held back a question to help clarify the partners' relationship now that Ziva had a man in her life and Tony had caught the new girl's attention.

After they entered the house Ziva began going through cupboards and the fridge and found what she needed to make a quick and somewhat healthy casserole. Gibbs did dishes to keep the area clean for preparation space and though he was planning to sit on the couch while they waited for the meal to cook, Ziva suggested a quick trip to the grocery store six blocks away. Her eyes twinkled. "I have a wonderful idea for dessert."

Indulging her as he would few others, Gibbs played chauffeur and tagged along while she gathered the ingredients. By the time they returned less than half the minutes on the timer remained. Supper was delicious, as he'd expected given her culinary reputation, and afterwards they sat at the table with hot drinks, waiting for the meal to settle before starting on dessert.

"Gibbs," Ziva began slowly and he shot her a look. She covered her smile. "Abba. Do you have a girlfriend?" For once surprise coloured the unflappable man's expression and his stare intensified. She shrugged one shoulder. "There have been...occurrences here and there that make me wonder."

Gibbs drew a breath and answered in complete honesty. "Nope, no girlfriend." That was the truth, because as slow as they were taking things he expected it would be next year before they could comfortably and confidently put a label on their relationship. He did look forward to that day though and the ability to finally, after all these years, put a claim on Celeste again.

"Oh." Her face fell slightly and it was obvious she expected a different answer. "Well, I think it would be nice if you did have one."

He took a sip of the strong coffee. "Yeah, maybe." Several moments later he set the mug down. "Glad you came tonight Ziver, been wanting to check in with you since Leona made that comment."

She wished she had to search her memory to find the one he was talking about, but unfortunately some things stuck. "I am fine."

Gibbs gave her a look she didn't even have to glance up to see, she could feel it. "Try again."

Ziva met his eyes then. "Really Abba. I have had to work very hard to overcome the hold of that place and I made a decision before the new year that I would not let it poison another one. So I cannot take thoughtless barbs to heart and I cannot put my life on hold every time something reminds me of the camp." She patted his hand. "You are sweet to worry, but I am alright."

He squeezed her fingers gently and conversation died off for awhile until he asked for a childhood story and she bartered one of hers for one of Kelly. They shared their losses in a happier way and then Ziva announced it was time to put dessert together, insisting on his help. Gibbs followed instructions, layering hot fudge topping, whipped cream, peanuts, and crushed oreo cookies over the foundation of vanilla ice cream she pressed into the pan with a large spoon. He had to admit it looked pretty good when finished and Ziva brought the whole thing downstairs, knowing they were going to end up at the boat eventually.

She ran her fingers gently over the wood that was slowly taking shape again and sighed. "I am sorry about Kelly's boat."

He frowned. "What brought that up?" Just over a year had passed since the case that had his goddaughter's present ending up in pieces. And despite what he told Abby, his heart ached to see an offering he'd lovingly crafted for his little girl cut up for evidence.

Ziva's gaze flittered over his workbench, resting briefly on the snapshot of a young girl with long brown hair and blue eyes that matched her daddy's. "Nothing in particular. But I know how hard you worked on it." Gibbs didn't have a response for that and she touched the smooth handle of the chisel she'd gifted him with after her return. "What are you going to call this one?"

Gibbs met her steady gaze, then turned to look at the unfinished frame. "Family," he declared quietly. "Always gotta remember how precious that is."

For the comment she wrapped him in a tight hug and he covered the emotion by sampling her ice cream dessert straight from the pan. "Not bad," he commented, licking the spoon.

Ziva rested her chin on his shoulder, having yet to remove her arms from around him. "It is my Aunt Nettie's recipe. She would make it occasionally when we were children."

Gibbs kissed her forehead, appreciating the effort she'd made tonight. "Thanks for sharing it with me."

Her reply was faint but he caught it anyways as she turned away and picked up a tool. "Thank you for claiming me."

There would never be one moment when he'd be sorry for making that choice. Someday he'd get her to believe it too.

**NCIS**

**Friday March 4**

After six months of having Fridays off CJ thought she should be used to it, but each week when that day came around she still felt unbelievably spoiled and lazy getting to sleep in a bit and have breakfast waiting for her on the table, watching as her guys got ready for their day at school and offering hugs and kisses goodbye before they headed out the door. The most strenuous thing expected of her on these days off was to make sure Cody got a walk in, and that could hardly be construed as difficult.

A bit antsy today and wondering if it stemmed from so far ignoring her usual spring cleaning and sorting madness that had occurred every year since she was a young teenager, (Chris used to make such fun of her for the tradition and would purposely keep bringing over some of his things and sneaking them into places in her room that she'd already gone through - one year she actually pretended to have thrown out all of the mysterious 'clutter' and played innocent when he came back to collect his possessions, which made her point and he stopped 'helping' after that), CJ decided to start with the closet in her and Brent's room. Goodness knew she always seemed to end up with far more clothes than she needed by the start of another year.

Standing in front of it with her hands on her hips, she decided the best way to go about it was just to pull all of her things out and try them on one by one, only putting back what she would actually wear. It was surprising how much space was available when her clothes were removed and she caught a glimpse of something at the back, buried behind their shoe rack. "What on earth?" she muttered, half in and half out of the closet while she reached for whatever it was. 'It' turned out to be a twenty eight ounce peanut butter jar that weighed at least ten pounds when she hefted it, not expecting to meet resistance.

A memory suddenly stood out of Brent casually mentioning the he'd been collecting his under-a-dollar change and saving it ever since he started college because it was something his second dad always did. He told her he'd occasionally count some of it out of curiosity to see how much there was and use it to buy something he wanted. What he neglected to share was that when the jar was full he put the lid on and added it to his collection at the back of the closet. Curious now as to how many he had after nearly two decades of doing so, she crawled all the way inside and began bringing them out one by one. The final tally was fourteen, plus the half-full one on his dresser that she rarely paid any attention to, and a half-dozen empty jars as well, for the future change to be collected in.

Sitting back on her heels, CJ shook her head. Incredible. Astounded by the amount of change just sitting there, a quick decision was made and she grabbed her purse, running out to the dollar store to buy a whole whack of coin rollers. When she returned one of her beloved audio books was put into the CD player and she spent the late morning and entire afternoon counting and rolling. She hadn't even come close to finishing several hours later, so CJ took a break to get supper ready for Brent and Ryan, storing everything back in the closet including her clothes, which never actually got looked at, to tackle next week. Rather than share her discovery with her husband, she planned to surprise him instead when it was all rolled and she had a total amount to announce.

**NCIS**

Only Adrian, who could get off in the middle of the day easily when he was his own boss, was on hand to accompany Darien to the airport and see him off on his journey to spend a month in various parts of the South with his family. At the gate they shook hands. "Thanks for the escort."

Adrian shoved his hands in his pockets and blew out a breath. "Man, we are going to miss you around here. Me especially. How am I supposed to get up to any quality shenanigans without my trusty partner in crime?"

Darien chuckled and ruffled his friend's hair, getting shoved away for his efforts. "Somehow I think you'll manage just fine."

"You are coming back, right?"

"I already said as much."

"Do I need to pull a McKenna and make you pinky promise, just in case?"

"No need." Darien shook his head. "I can't break up the Sensational Six. Y'all are lost without me anyways."

"That we are." Adrian put on his serious face for a moment. "Be safe. And have a great time. You've more than earned the extended vacation."

"Will do." Darien smiled. "Stay out of trouble Zip."

He rolled his eyes. "No promises Red. That's what you get for leaving me and the amigos unsupervised together for a whole month."

Darien grinned. "I can't wait to hear the stories. Take care."

"Yeah, you too." They shared a bro hug and the big brown man walked away, leaving Adrian feeling a bit bereft. He wasn't sure when they'd gone from friends and teammates to having relationship as deep as real brothers, but he could already feel the loss of having one of them missing. Everyone should be so blessed as to have a family like theirs.

**NCIS**

"I have a surprise for you," Tony shared when she got in the car after work. He was rather glad he'd already made plans for tonight, because EJ had showed up at work again (she seemed to be keeping to a rather odd schedule but the less she was around the better for all on Team Gibbs concerned) and partway through the day leaned over the partition behind Ziva's desk, casually asking about his weekend and if he wanted to go out for drinks. Since his wife was right there, listening and eyeing her paperclip box in a way that made him nervous, Tony choked out a negative response and remained on pins and needles for the next couple hours lest Ziva do something in retaliation. He hoped this activity would make her smile again.

"Does this have to do with what I agreed to on Wednesday?"

He shrugged. "Maybe."

Ziva's eyebrows rose with interest. "Should I guess?"

He chuckled and picked up her hand, kissing the knuckles. "Somehow I don't think you'd get this one babe. Just wait and see."

Patience was a virtue his ninja possessed and had honed over the years, so she sat back and did just that. It wasn't long before they pulled up in front of a storefront advertising henna tattoos. She turned to her husband but he was already out of his seat and came around to get her door. Leading her inside, he wove his fingers between hers. "I've been thinking a lot about our conversation on Tuesday and I decided something had to be done. If you can't handle a real tattoo yet to cover up that scar, you can get a henna one." He slid a folded piece of paper in front of her on the counter. "I did my research, these are your choices." Tony brushed her hair aside and kissed the mark. "Each one is a different symbol for strength."

Blinking back tears so she could focus on the pictures, Ziva pressed her lips to his. "Grazie."

He loved when she used his language. "I want you to remember how strong you are honey. When you think about that scar I don't want you to feel shackled to that place and their lies, I want you to see how far you've come and how hard you've fought, to remember that they might've defeated you in some skirmishes but you took total victory in the war by getting your life back. And that's the most important part."

Overwhelmed by his car, Ziva could say nothing more. She leaned into his side and smiled when the girl came forward to assist them, pointing at the second symbol. "I will get this one."

Just over thirty minutes later they were back in the car and Tony took another look at the tattoo now that her hair was pulled up in a loose bun and away from the area to avoid smearing the paste. "She did a good job. What do you think?"

Recalling the mirrored image she'd been shown, Ziva smiled at her husband. "I like it. Thank you for doing this."

He stared seriously into her dark eyes. "Your burdens are mine Zi. This is one I thought I could help ease." His mouth covered hers and he reached into the backseat, digging in his backpack for something. "Here." Tony handed her a thick, tan coloured leather journal. "I almost forgot."

She regarded him curiously. "I cannot believe you keep such careful track. Toda ahava. You are a wonderful man."

Tony kissed her again. "I'll take it." If that's what she thought of him, the rest of the world could stuff its opinions. Ziva's was the only one that mattered. And he was glad for a way to put a little more of the joy back in her eyes.

**NCIS**

**Saturday March 5**

Ziva sat on the couch beside her husband, his arm around her shoulders and her hand resting on his stomach. It was comfortable to be that way together, touching and relaxed, and she savoured the peace. Shifting, she brought her knees up and leaned them on his lap. There was no hesitation, no wondering if he'd be okay with it or if the position would bother him. She loved being confident that her husband wanted her close. She slid her hand up his chest and Tony covered it with one of his.

Placing her other palm against his cheek, Ziva drew his head down and let their lips meet. She kissed him leisurely a few times, in no hurry whatsoever, and Tony smiled, his fingers brushing her skin. "What was that for?"

Adoration shone in her gaze and she answered honestly. "Is because I love you a good enough reason?"

He swallowed and held her tighter, whispering hoarsely, "The best."

Her head found a home on his chest and Ziva returned her attention to the movie. She loved him and he loved her, all was right with the world.

**NCIS**

That night in bed Brent brushed a lock of hair away from CJ's face. "Do you remember what we talked about in November, starting a regular date night like Mark and Cassie have?"

Surprise coloured her expression. "I remember," she said after a moment. "I just can't believe it took so long to come up again."

He gave her a half-grin. "I guess after having two blissful weekends alone with you in February, I realized how much I was missing the quality time." His lips caressed her knuckles. "Being a family is amazing and you know I wouldn't trade Ry for anything in the world. But once in awhile I think I need you all to myself."

CJ smiled sweetly. "I am in full agreement Mr. MacKay. What do you suggest?"

"We have a lot going on and I don't want Ryan to feel pushed out of the way. So I was thinking maybe setting aside a date night every two weeks when we can have Keri in for the evening, and then a weekend once a month. I'm sure your parents would love to have him for more of an extended visit now and then." Though he knew the reason behind their attachment, Brent often marveled at the relationship Ryan shared with Roger and Laurel. He'd never seen two grandparents more in love with a grandchild than they were. It made his heart ache once in awhile to see them together and miss the same thing with his parents. He didn't remember enough about his first mom and dad to have an opinion, but he was completely convinced that William and Kathy Pierce who chose him as theirs would have made incredible grandparents.

His wife kissed him and drew him out of his thoughts. "Did I lose you?"

"A little bit." He cleared his throat, not wanting to share right now. He'd had enough of people feeling sorry for him to last a lifetime. "So, what do you think?"

"I think my parents would love it and Keri and Ryan will have a blast. I'm so thankful we found her so quickly after moving here." Her lips met his again. "You are brilliant. I'll make some phone calls tomorrow."

"And you're amazing," Brent countered. "I love you Kris."

CJ gave him the most adorable look. "I love you more."

He let her win this time, but Brent already knew it was impossible for her to love him as much as he loved her. After his renewed and cherished relationship with Jesus, she and Ryan were his everything.

**NCIS**

**Monday March 7**

EJ conveniently ran into Tony outside at the coffee cart, though she noted with no small degree of annoyance that his standoffish partner was again shadowing him. What was it with that woman? Couldn't she ever leave him alone in peace? It wasn't enough that they worked so closely together in the office, she had to follow him around on his breaks too. EJ barely held back the urge to roll her eyes, pasting on instead a coy smile as she leaned against the counter next to him, drawing her fingers along his shirt sleeve. "So, what did you do this weekend?"

Tony narrowly suppressed his immediate desire to put several feet of distance between himself and the other woman, especially considering the calculating way his wife was appraising the competition. "Nothing special. Just, you know, hung out." He swallowed but couldn't be rude. "And you?"

EJ shrugged one shoulder. "I stayed in. But if I'd known you weren't busy, perhaps we could've both had a little more fun."

His eyes fell to his watch and he edged backwards the tiniest bit. "Will you look at that? Break's over. Gotta go. See ya."

_Oh yes_, EJ thought with a smirk, _you will_. Her new mission in life, other than the current case related one, was to get the agent alone so his partner couldn't intimidate him into turning her down. Clearly the woman had some attachment issues to her attractive teammate. They'd have to deal with that, the sooner the better.

In the elevator Tony could feel his wife seething and risked reaching for her hand. "I'm sorry babe. I would've avoided that if I could've."

She instantly relaxed when his skin made contact with hers and offered him a small smile. "I know ahava. It is not you I am angry with."

He sighed, playing with her anniversary ring. "I'm going to tell you what you used to tell me - you can't get angry at her for something she doesn't know. And she doesn't know I'm taken." Ziva's nose wrinkled and he gave a little laugh. "Yeah, I didn't like it either."

She rolled her shoulders. "You have a point. Because of that, I will try not to claw her eyes out the next time she looks at you like she wants to take you home."

Her sincerity was a little doubtful, but he'd take what he could get. Tony only hoped that EJ got something to keep her busy soon, he didn't know how long she would put up with his lame attempts at escaping conversation.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday March 9**

On the way to the photocopier two days later, when Tony happened to be coming back from the breakroom (not that she'd been waiting all morning to engineer an opening), EJ pretended to trip right into the senior agent so he would have to touch her. Being the gentleman that he was, Tony caught her and she feigned embarrassment. "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I'm such a klutz today."

Kneeling to help collect her papers, Tony shrugged off the apology. "Happens to the best of us. Here you go."

Smiling genuinely, she put her hand on his chest. "It's nice to see that chivalry isn't all dead. Most guys wouldn't even have stopped."

He tossed her a half-grin. "Well, I'm not most guys."

"Yes, I can see that," EJ said softly as he returned to his desk. She glanced over the squadroom and this time got a glare from an unexpected party - not his partner as she anticipated, but the team leader who was looking at her like was a weed in his garden. She rolled her eyes and continued on her errand. _Get over yourself Agent Gibbs, you don't have jurisdiction in who I choose to like_. Not that she hadn't heard of his infamous rule, but she'd grown up with enough of those. She didn't plan on following anyone else's, nor would she let them stop her from going after what she wanted. And right now what she wanted was one Anthony DiNozzo Jr. She wouldn't soon forget what it felt like to be held even momentarily in his capable arms.

**NCIS**

Tony and Ziva were on a stakeout, which left plenty of unsupervised time when they didn't have to pretend. And it was especially nice after yet another run in with the persistent Agent Barrett earlier. The stakeout also provided the opportunity Tony had been waiting for to open a certain topic of conversation. "It's been a year Zi."

She put down the binoculars and frowned. "Since what?"

He took a deep breath and reached for her hand, rubbing her bare ring finger, which gave her a bit of a warning. The habit was something he picked up for serious subjects shortly after their marriage and it continued to this day. "Since we started saving for in vitro." Ziva's heartrate jumped as he pressed on. "We have enough for one round and I was wondering...what would you think about giving it a shot now?" She shut her eyes and his hopes took a nosedive. "I'd really like you to seriously consider trying. Two more years...that just seems like an eternity away."

Times like these, when the subject of kids poked at his heart a little more than usual, he wondered if they should've used the entirety of their racetrack winnings from January towards their IVF savings. It would've put them two more months ahead, just that much closer to reaching their goal. Ziva hadn't asked again after her shopping spree about what he wanted to do with his half of their splurging money and he was glad. For some reason he didn't want to tell her that he'd put his into the IVF account. When they discussed what to do with the winnings they'd decided to use portions of it for things they really wanted, indulgences they didn't allow themselves very often, and Tony had come to the conclusion that the only fitting use for his part of it was to add the cash to their IVF funds. Because this, having a child with his precious wife, was what he wanted more than anything else in the world. And he wanted her to want it that way too.

Ziva stuffed her hands between her knees. "Elin said the first one often fails." Her voice came out small. "I do not think I could bear the disappointment and loss if we were not prepared to try again soon after."

Tony leaned his forehead on the wheel and was quiet for several moments. "I want a baby with you so badly," he whispered. "I miss that even though it's something we've never had."

"I, too, have wished to speed the process up," she confided. "Every time I watch you with the children I see the father you could...will be." Ziva took off her anniversary ring to read the inscription again. _You Will Always Be My Love_. "This past year has gone so fast. Maybe..." she hesitated because of the uncertainty. "Maybe this time next year, when there is enough money for two chances that it might take..."

He met her gaze. "Next year."

She nodded. "And by then the...examination may not seem so daunting." Even a year and a half after Somalia she still dreaded the thought of having foreign objects inserted inside her.

Tony grasped her fingers. "You know I won't let anyone touch you unless you're okay with it." The nightmarish shadow of terror camp horrors was never too far from his mind when something made her uneasy.

"It would have to be a female doctor. And you may need to take my weapons away and hold my hand."

"I'll hold both hands," Tony declared. "And we'll bring the lock. Keep your eyes on me, we'll have a conversation the doctor can't understand, and I won't let you think of anything else but us." He swallowed hard and kissed her knuckles. "Zi, next year we could have a baby."

The awe in his voice brought tears to her eyes because Tony didn't seem to understand that IVF was not a guarantee. That with her history and the scar tissue it might not even be possible for her body to carry a pregnancy to term. But Ziva still smiled, refusing to dampen his hopes. Reality would do that sooner or later, she did not want to help it along.

Sensing the need for a change in subject, he leaned back in his seat, eyes fixed out the windshield. "So did you girls have fun last night?" True to her promise, Cassie had invited the wives over the previous evening for a few hours of chick flicks and desserts while one dad and one set of grandparents kept the children entertained.

Appreciating his sensitivity, she smiled. "We did. It is nice to be just the girls sometimes." She threaded her fingers through her necklace. "That is something I missed during my teens and early twenties, having girlfriends I can confide in. I am thankful to remedy that now."

Tony remembered when they'd first started spending time around the gang, how he'd hoped she would connect with Cassie and Allie and get a few true friends in her court. Eighteen months had passed since that night and he could honestly say that his hopes had completely come true. Lifting his wrist, he frowned at the time on his watch, covering a yawn. "Good thing this wasn't my night to check on Cass." As per instructions, the four remaining frat brothers had split the seven days of Mark's absence between themselves and were diligent about dropping by to make sure there was nothing she needed.

Ziva kissed his cheek. "It is sweet of you guys to hover."

He took his gaze off the target's house for only a moment. "We're family Zi. That's what families do."

"Yes, and I am so grateful for this one." She almost said 'ours' but thought better of it. Their own family was exactly how this conversation started and despite his desires she was not eager to revisit the topic any time in the near future.

**NCIS**

**Thursday March 10**

Gibbs came in shortly after they'd all arrived and stopped in front of one desk. "I've got something that's gonna make you smile Ziver." He dropped two light blue and white dotted cards in front of her. The top was a photo card with her picture and signature on the right and the NCIS motto and crest on the left. The second just said United States of America, NCIS Ziva David, with a world map in the background and crest underneath. Ziva gasped and Gibbs offered her a rare smile. "Congratulations." He handed over her badge. "You're now a journeyman agent."

Her eyes widened and she spoke as if she didn't quite believe it. "My probation is officially over?"

"Done and done," he confirmed.

She held up the tokens. "I will carry these with tremendous pride."

McGee stood, grinning. "Congrats, Special Agent David."

Tony ignored their boss's proximity and crossed the few feet between their desks to give her a quick hug. "Mazel tov Probie-No-More. Good for you." He quirked a half-grin. "Who am I gonna pick on now?"

Ziva rolled her eyes. "I am sure you will find something else to pick on me about." She sounded very pleased with herself and he had a hard time not reflecting her joy. "In the meantime Tony, we are now equals."

He returned to his desk, sitting back on the edge. "Equals huh? Be careful what you ask for. I have more paperwork than you and Probie 1.0 put together."

Ignoring him, she stood in the center of the room and looked around at them. "Tonight we should all go out and celebrate."

"You mean a wetting down?" McGee offered.

Confused, Ziva frowned. "What wedding?"

Gibbs chuckled. "It's called a 'wetting down' David. Means you're paying."

"Oh." She didn't seem to mind that condition. "Then we should go somewhere fun."

Tony groaned inwardly. Her idea of fun might be a club, with all the inhibitions she'd been throwing off recently, and wouldn't that just be agony seeing her prance around in something short and tight all night and not be able to touch her because Gibbs would be there?

McGee nodded at that. "I know a fun gaming lounge." Tony barked a laugh and the others just stared at him. He cleared his throat. "Or not."

Ziva turned to her partner. "What do you think Tony?"

He wanted to glare at her for putting him in a tight spot but Gibbs was watching them a little too closely for his comfort. "I think we'll follow wherever you want to go. As long as it has champagne, since we're celebrating and all. Abby might have some suggestions for you."

The significance of the word was not lost on his wife, it was one of those off their undercover 'I love you' list. "Good idea." She spun around and aimed her best smile at the team leader. "Gibbs?"

He waved her towards the back elevator. "Go." Leaving their forensic scientist out of any celebration plans was not advised.

She was back in short order and announced the name of the club they had decided on, then it was back to business as usual for the rest of the day. Abby came up to join them before she left, securing their promise to meet at the club in two hours, apparently Ducky and Jimmy had already been informed that their participation was required. She linked her arm with Ziva and proclaimed, "We're going shopping. Tonight we're going to knock your socks off gentlemen." Tony caught his wife's twinkling gaze and knew he was in trouble. He also noticed that Abby conspicuously avoided making eye contact with her counterpart and hoped their unease around each other wouldn't spoil the evening out.

Abby delivered Ziva back to her car in the NCIS parking lot with only an hour to spare before they met back up. She arrived home, gave her husband a quick kiss and disappeared into the bathroom acting very mysterious, even locking the door for good measure, though he could pick it if he really wanted in. A hot shower was in order, where she didn't have to worry about shaving now that she'd gone back to the habit of waxing since their vacation in St. Martin. Once she got out Ziva blowdried her hair, found beauty supplies, and slid on the dress she knew was perfect the minute the saleslady held it up.

While waiting Tony had changed into a pair of dark jeans and navy blue button down with silver threads for stripes woven into the materia. He slung a lightweight jacket over his shoulder and struck a GQ pose, flashing the famous DiNozzo grin upon hearing the lock click. But his jaw dropped and he forgot all about trying to impress her when his wife walked out. Hungry eyes soaked in every detail - he let them slowly travel from the impossibly high heels up her long toned legs, lingering on the skintight black sequined dress that didn't even reach mid-thigh and shimmered with every movement, finally getting to her wild and sexy curly hair, alluring make up, and a seductive smile curving over her lips which made Tony pretty sure he wouldn't survive the night.

With Ziva clearly waiting for a reaction, he swallowed reflexively and tried to form a coherent thought. "Wow." When that was all he could get out, Tony tried again but his mouth went dry and he literally couldn't think a single thought other than Ziva in that get up. "Wow."

Well aware of what the clock said she stayed where she was, they could not afford time for the kind of distraction he was currently fantasizing about. As her husband practically drooled over her outfit, Ziva did an assessment of his attire and couldn't help the way her pulse pounded a bit faster. Anthony DiNozzo definitely knew the secret of dressing to impress. Finally she cleared her throat, arching one eyebrow. "See anything good?"

The words tore his focus from her appearance and his brain started working enough to provide the correct response. He sauntered a bit closer, green gaze searing into hers. "Yeah, real good. And this time it very well might be worth dying over."

Ziva chuckled throatily and Tony wondered if she was tormenting him on purpose. "Good thing bombs will not likely be a concern in the club."

"Though I'm completely confident in your ability to disarm one in that dress."

She turned in a slow circle, showing off the deep V to the middle of her back. "So, am I presentable?"

He snorted. "Talk about a rhetorical question. Babe, hot doesn't even begin to describe how you look. This," he gestured to all of her, "is off the charts."

Ziva flashed him a brilliant smile but stepped back quickly when Tony reached out, itching to feel her skin beneath his fingers. "Touching is forbidden."

His eyes widened. "Seriously?"

She crossed her arms. "Yes seriously." At her husband's disbelief she rolled her eyes. "Do you think we would actually make it out of the house if you get any closer?"

Tony's brow furrowed and he reluctantly conceded the point. A glance at his watch showed that time was fast running out. "Fine. We better get out of here then."

Fingertips just barely grazing his sleeve, she leaned in to whisper, "You look very handsome in those clothes." It was her turn to let elevator eyes drift over him. "This look is really doing it for me."

He gaped at her, desperately trying to resist the urge to have her right there, and the only thing stopping him from passionately kissing his wife was knowing he could not ruin her makeup before they met their friends.

Ziva used one finger to push his mouth closed. "It is a compliment. Most people say thank you."

"Thanks," Tony managed through a tight throat. This was going to be an unbelievably long night before he could quench the fire she'd kindled in him.

Reading his thoughts with a glance, she smirked. "We will definitely be doing that later."

Shifting his gaze heavenward and praying for strength to resist temptation, he gestured to the door. "After you."

The cab ride there was filled with a delicious tension between husband and wife, whose nerves were all tingling and they hadn't even touched yet. Tony and Ziva were the last to arrive and even McGee had to comment on her clothes. "Way to make an entrance Ziva, you look incredible."

She blushed slightly, eyes flickering to Gibbs, but he was too busy glaring at every guy who'd been staring since she walked in. When half the club patrons had been sufficiently intimidated he kissed her cheek and guided her into the spot next to him at their round booth, leaving Tony to climb over Ducky and squeeze in beside Tim. He'd conveniently orchestrated seating arrangements so Jimmy and Breena were between him and Abby. For obvious reasons, having her too close would make things uncomfortable for everyone and Ziva deserved better than that for her night. Tony was a little disappointed, but right now distance between him and his smokin' hot wife was safer considering their proximity to Gibbs.

A server arrived with a tray of glasses and they all raised their drinks in a toast. "To Ziva," Ducky began, "in honour of her permanent place with us where she belongs. Congratulations my dear."

Glasses were dinged and Abby gave her friend a big smile. "Welcome home Ziva!"

Another round of congratulations and similar sentiments followed her exclamation and then they all chatted and snacked on appetizers for awhile until Abby couldn't contain her dancing shoes any longer. "Time to hit the floor people!"

Tony, Ziva, Breena, Jimmy, and McGee all followed orders and made their way out of the booth, leaving only Gibbs and Ducky feeling like odd men out in the current crowd. The six of them danced as a group for awhile, but Gibbs' scowl intensified whenever Tony or McGee got too close to Ziva and Abby. Granted, McGee was making overt attempts not to brush against her, but in a club setting that was much easier said than done.

Finally Ducky shook his head. "Well Jethro, shall we have a scotch at my house to end the evening?"

It had been just over a year now since his mother died and not quite that long after he'd purchased a historic brownstone in Georgetown. Though the life of a caregiver was extremely challenging and both mentally and physically wearing, he still missed his mother acutely at times. But in many other moments he remained thankful she no longer suffered the loss of herself and the infirmities of old age. He had good friends around him and a strong relationship with the captivating Dr. Hampton to see him through. Jordan had been there for him at his lowest moments and despite the considerable age difference she had come to genuinely love him and he her. They'd had their ups and downs over the past three years but there were days he wondered what she would say about something permanent. That, however, was a conversation for another time.

"What?" his friend growled and Ducky chuckled. "We're leaving. They don't need us here right now." At the look he got the ME sighed. "Oh, let the children have a bit of fun Jethro, they can't do that with you watching."

After giving it some thought Gibbs' posture relaxed and he nodded. "Alright." Waving the team back over the older men said goodnight and Gibbs whispered in Ziva's ear, "I am so proud of you." They both got an Abby hug, handshakes from the guys, and left together.

As soon as they were out of sight and the others drifted away - Breena and Jimmy to do their own thing, Abby with a guy brave enough to ask despite her unique appearance, and McGee for his last drink since neither he or Sarah handled alcohol very well - Tony dragged Ziva around a corner and kissed her with all the pent up longing of the last two hours. "Finally," he mumbled against her lips. "I thought I was going to self-destruct going one more minute without touching you."

Ziva indulged in another deep caress and his wandering hands that were thoroughly appreciating her choice of dress, her own hands running over his back and chest, just as anxious to tactily admire his club attire. "Now I get to dance with you the right way."

He grinned and they waded through the crowd to a place where none of the others had a direct line of sight and began moving to the beat. In some cases the style of dancing the couple engaged in would've been inappropriate if they weren't married, but thankfully they had the freedom to be uninhibited, let loose, and act just a little crazy. Finally though it got to the point where Tony couldn't take it anymore and he growled in her ear, "Do that again in public and people are going to wish we got a room for the show we're about to put on."

The coy look she sent over her shoulder was entirely unremorseful and she smiled sweetly. "We better go then. I am thinking of the kind of dancing only my husband should see."

With that prospect in mind they found Abby to say goodbye - McGee had left already, unable to watch Abby dance anymore since none of her partners were him; Breena and Jimmy weren't as into the nightlife scene and wanted to get to bed in decent time on a school night - though she was already tipsy and the partners acquired her solemn promise that she would get safely home without her usual chaperone to watch out for her. As an added measure of security Tony left a hefty tip for the bartender when settling the drink bill to ensure that he would keep an eye out for their friend.

Responsibilities taken care of and cash in his pocket for a cab, Tony grabbed his wife's hand and led her out into the cool late evening. The night had been fantastic already, too much time had passed since they last partied together, and as soon as they got home it would get even better. Nothing topped a private party with his wife in the sanctuary of their bedroom.

**NCIS**

One of the benefits of keeping company with a lady on the other side of the country was that he could call her when it was quite late in DC and the time in LA was still very reasonable. "What did you end up doing to celebrate Ziva's change in status?" Celeste asked after the usual pleasantries. He'd mentioned that his newest agent's probation was over the last time they talked.

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "The girls wanted to go clubbing."

She chuckled. "And what the girls want..?"

"They don't always get their way."

A raised eyebrow was directed at her phone. "Oh?"

He shifted uncomfortably and continued. "Everyone came. Drinks. Dancing. Ducky gave us a curfew so the kids didn't feel supervised." Gibbs glared just remembering the looks Tony shot his partner when he thought she wasn't paying attention. "Shoulda seen the way DiNozzo ogled her in that dress." Silence filtered through the line for longer than he expected. "Les?" he prompted.

Celeste was staring out the window, a thought having suddenly occurred to her. "Do you realize how many conversations we have about your team?"

He frowned. "That a rhetorical question?"

She shook her head. "Not at all. I'm just a little tired of that being the main focus of the time we spent together. I love your team and I love how much you care for them, but Jethro I want to spend time with you. Are you using them to avoid getting too personal with me?"

Gibbs pondered the question. "It might look that way, though I'm not doing it on purpose. But they are who I spend most of my days with."

That was good to hear. Celeste sighed. "I know, and I'm sorry if that came out sounding petulant. I do need you to tell me about the parts of your life that don't involve work as well."

And probably it wouldn't hurt if he pried a little bit more into her daily activities, though he tried to make sure at least a couple questions every time they talked were directed at her life. "We already know each other Les, what are you missing?"

Twisting the phone cord around her fingers, she tried to share what was on her heart. "I want you to tell me what you're thinking," she said softly, "what you're feeling behind all the walls you use to hide. Let me through them Jethro, please, because I never knew anything for sure when we were married and I want to know you so much better this time." At that she hesitated, realizing how much she'd given away about her hopes for their future. But he'd already said he was in this for the long haul, whatever this turned out to be.

Gibbs' chest felt tight but he was glad they were on the same page thinking long term. "Me too Les. I never made the effort to get to know more than the surface level stuff the first time, but we can do it right now." He wasn't sure if he was prepared for this degree of being honest, but he wasn't going to risk losing her by being cagy. "You start, tell me something I don't know. I'll go next." He needed the time to think of something good, this seemed to be a breaking point for them and they'd broken enough already to last for a lifetime.

_Replies:_

_Melissa - I'm glad to hear that. It's always nice when people pick something of mine as a favourite. lol...I didn't mean to confuse everybody with that. 'AP' is what Jimmy signs his clandestine correspondence with Tony, like he did the last time he left him a note about meeting in the evidence garage. It's short for 'Agent Palmer'. No worries, I don't mind questions if something is confusing. Your English is fine, sometimes I forget it's not your first language :) I love that you can see and feel what's written, that's exactly what my goal is when I tell the story. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Allie - lol...thank you :) I'm glad you liked it. I've been working really hard the last couple weeks trying to get further ahead in the story. Reactions like that make the time worth it :) Yeah, EJ's about to become very persistent about getting Tony's attention. haha...sorry about that. I was not trying to be confusing. 'AP' is what Jimmy signs his clandestine correspondence with Tony, like he did the last time he left him a note about meeting in the evidence garage. It's short for 'Agent Palmer'. There's a lot of benefits to having an account, at least I find there is. But I kind of have to have one to publish stories :P Yes, you can get email alerts for authors you follow about new chapters and stories they've posted. When you're signed in and leave a review the author can reply to you personally. You can have private message (PM) conversations with authors and other people on the site to comment on things or ask questions or get to know people. It lets you keep a list of favourite authors/stories, track the reviews you've left etc. But there's no pressure. Thanks for reviewing, I always enjoy hearing from you :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie (MIT43) - Ever since they used the Tony/Jimmy thing in Bounce I've been intrigued by that side of their relationship, so I like to use it when I can. He may think he's figured something out, but no one really knows what's really going on under the surface between T&amp;Z. I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie (MIT44) - lol...'AP' is code for 'Agent Palmer', it's what Jimmy uses when he's trying to be secretive. So no, he won't be causing any trouble. I can't stand EJ either. Unfortunately Ziva decking her would be against protocol. But it is tempting at times :P Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest - I'm glad you're enjoying it, thank you. No, Ziva will never give the details to anyone else. Aunt Nettie and Tony are the only ones who know the whole story of what happened to her in the camp. Mark and Cassie know bits and pieces, Gibbs knows some, so does anyone who's read her medical file. But the whole truth is something that will always stay hidden from the rest of the people in their lives. I'm happy to answer questions, thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_


	46. 8x19 Tell-All 4

**Friday March 11**

"You were restless last night," he observed when they both woke.

Her palm came to rest on his cheek. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you."

He shrugged. "No biggie. I'm more interested in why."

She ran a hand through her tangled hair. "I don't know. I was tired, I welcomed the sleep, but I must've seen the time on the alarm clock for three different hours in a row."

"Worried about something?"

"I don't think so. And there was nothing the matter with my dreams." She sat up. "I'll try to be more subtle about changing sides next time."

Adrian rubbed her back. "You've got that meeting with your publisher this afternoon about the amigos stories, are you nervous?"

Emma pursed her lips. "Maybe a little. This is my chance to work my way up to a level of writing above children's stories. If they're interested I've got my first stepping stone towards the fiction I really want to publish - my youth and adult books."

"You know how much the kids loved the first one when they saw the rough draft last month. That's got to count for something."

She rolled her eyes. "The stories are about them, they're bound to be at least interested. I need them to appeal to kids who have no connection to our group."

He leaned in to kiss her. "You're a great writer Em. I know you can do this. Plus, I'll be praying for you."

Her husband's return to his faith was quite recent. The foundation had always been there but he'd stayed away for a long time after losing his way in college. Their marriage, being part of her family (who made faith a way of life), and most recently the visit with his brother had really cemented his re-commitment. Emma was so proud of him for making the effort and it was a joy to hear him say those words, to know he'd be speaking to God on her behalf. She released a breath. "Then I'll have all the help I need. Thank you."

Adrian grinned. "It feels good to be back." He got out of bed and reached for her hands. "Come on, I'll make you breakfast."

Emma pressed her lips to his cheek. "Well now, that is an offer I can't refuse." As had already been determined since their first date, she was an incredibly blessed woman because he had chosen a life with her.

**NCIS**

After a short night, an early morning, and an all day case that left little time for breaks Ziva wasn't about to question it when her husband came in the house bearing a yellow carnation and handful of mail. Eventually she'd have to get to the bottom of the flower mystery, for now it was simply to be enjoyed. Kissing his cheek in thanks, she set it gently in the vase with her daisy from last week and stirred some pasta on the stove while Tony looked to see if anything interesting had come.

Halfway through the thin stack he frowned and held up an envelope. "When was the last time Nettie sent you a letter?"

Ziva joined him at the table, recognizing her aunt's elegant script. "She grew up in world where communication came in written form. Sometimes she still prefers that way of keeping in touch." A hiss from the stove warned of a pot about to boil over and she quickly turned the heat down, keeping a watchful eye on the chicken as well. "Open it. Perhaps something exciting has happened that she wanted to share."

Feeling a little more trepidatious than his wife, Tony carefully slit open the top and shook out its contents. What fell into his hand was unexpected and he sucked in a breath. "Uh oh."

Ziva heard the quiet words and returned to his side after checking that the food still had a couple minutes left of cooking time. "What?"

Silently he handed her a letter from Nettie written only in Hebrew and a smaller envelope that bore Eli's bold strokes. In an instant her face contorted with rage and she clutched everything tightly, storming into the office and slamming the door so hard the pictures rattled. "Oh boy." Tony shoved his hands in his pocket. "I get that you're trying to help Doda, but that was low." Heaving a deep sigh, he turned his attention to finishing dinner preparations according to the recipe Ziva had laying on the counter. But his gaze never strayed far from the office and his heart ached for the woman he loved inside.

**NCIS**

It would not be the first time a Skype call that had gotten Nettie out of bed after midnight, but this occurrence was not as unexpected as the last. "Shalom."

Ziva was so angry she wanted to cry as she held up the papers. "How could you Doda? How could you betray me like that?!"

"Zivaleh, you must read my letter first, it will explain everything." Her niece stared, aghast, and the old woman looked back steadily. "Now child. I will wait."

Obedience too much apart of her upbringing to argue further, Ziva sank down in the chair and began scanning her aunt's words. Phrases leapt out here and there but she had a hard time taking everything in. _...Eli knows you are not reading his letters...knows he was wrong...begged me to try contacting you on his behalf...open the envelope motek, please. _She resisted simply out of principle at first, but as her eyes skimmed over Nettie's entreaty again she knew she would eventually give in.

With great reluctance Ziva untucked the envelope flap on Eli's letter and pulled the papers free. She did her best not to linger on any of the characters so she could avoid hearing what he had to say, but something folded inside caught her attention and her eyebrows rose slowly as she read it a second time to be sure of what she saw. Mouth falling open in shock, Ziva returned her gaze to Nettie. "Is this...?"

"Exactly what it says, yes."

Anger drained away, replaced by bewilderment, and Ziva stared at a check made out to her for twenty thousand dollars. "Doda, I do not understand."

"If you actually listened to what he was trying to tell you little bird, it would make more sense." Ziva tried to protest and Nettie flapped her hand. "But since you will not, the explanation belongs to me. A month after his return Eli confessed to me that he had done you a great wrong."

Ziva snorted. Understatement of the year. Nettie's reproachful expression chastised her without a word and she looked down. "Mitzta'eret. Please continue."

"He told me you should've received a pension and benefits from Mossad after you left, but he refused because you had already been declared dead, killed in action on that mission. I was furious, of course, and Eli regretted his hard heart towards you then. With some help from a certain determined older sister, he now desires to right that wrong." Nettie gestured to the check. "What you hold in your hands is a year and a half worth of backpay. He has also set up an account where money will be deposited each month, as should have been done all along. The information and how to access it is at the bottom of his letter." Ensuring she had to at least glance at the pages in some form.

Ziva glared fiercely at her aunt. "He cannot buy my forgiveness! For no amount of money in the world will I forget what he has done."

Nettie sighed. "I would like to remind you of what Rivka used to tell you about forgiveness when you were a child, but I will not. That truth is yours alone to discover Zivi, in your own time. It is not Eli's intention to bribe you with this money, he is simply giving over what is rightfully yours."

Experience had taught her to view her father as heartless, she refused to see him in another way despite Nettie's gentle promptings and she crossed her arms.

"I am sorry you feel betrayed. I knew you would open a letter that bore my handwriting. But I also know the good use you and Tony could put the money towards. I won't apologize for seeing that it got delivered. Please do not let this drive a wedge between us little bird. I love you very much."

Confusion swirled in Ziva's heart but she managed to return the sentiment. "Gam ani. Laila tov Doda."

"Chalomot tovim dear one," Nettie whispered, breaking the connection. _Sweet dreams_.

For awhile she simply slouched in the chair and stared at Eli's offering, then she resigned his letter (after reluctantly copying down the account details), and Nettie's for good measure, to the garbage and took the back off a framed picture of she and Tony on her desk, storing the check inside and returning the frame exactly to its place. Out of sight but impossible to put out mind, she gathered what little she had left of her composure and opened the office door, staying just in the doorway.

Tony was scooping the pasta/vegetable/chicken/sauce medley into bowls and looked up at her exit. "Should I ask?"

Rubbing her forehead where a headache was already beginning, Ziva sighed. "It is very complicated Tony."

"Sounds like code for don't ask," he observed.

Straightening, she came right to the point. "I need to go swimming. Would you like to come?"

He studied her body language, appreciating the offer when she was clearly desperate to run away. "Do you want me there?"

"I may want a hug after," Ziva shared slowly, "but perhaps I will get one when I come back?"

Tony offered his wife a faint smile. "It'll be here waiting for you."

Stepping over to him, she pressed her lips to his cheek for a long moment, breathing in the familiar scent of her husband, then grabbed her swim bag and left without even putting on a coat. Meira trotted into the kitchen when she heard the front door close and he crouched down to pet her. "There's always something else, isn't there girl? I'm beginning to think that John and Cindi were onto something. Right now moving to a tropical island sounds like a pretty good idea. Then maybe no one could get close enough to hurt her anymore." Tony sighed. "Y'know what? Supper can wait. Let's go for a walk Meira." Their dog was always up for another and the exercise would do him good. If nothing else it would force him to focus on something other than what was in his wife's head. Very often it was not a pretty sight in there when she withdrew from the world.

Though Tony spent most of the beginning of _Avatar_ staring at the door and thinking about his wife, he needn't have worried. She was back before he even got a third of the way through and gratefully accepted his long tight hug. Ziva had determined while drawing solace from her favourite activity that she didn't want to tell Tony about the money right away. The entire situation was so unexpected and she needed to come to terms with what it meant on her own first. Until then she would cuddle on the couch with her husband and watch a movie. After that they'd end the day right where they always should be - in each other's arms.

**NCIS**

**Saturday March 12**

"I want to celebrate your new agent status," Tony announced over brunch the next morning.

Ziva's forehead wrinkled. "I thought we already did."

"That was with everyone, we should do something together for it."

"What did you have in mind?"

"What would you like to do?" he returned. "The whole day is open, we can do anything."

Surprisingly enough Ziva's choice of activity did not turn out to be something with the horses as he would've guessed, instead she decided on bowling. His expression reflected that he'd been caught off guard. "Really?"

She nodded. "I don't recall ever going bowling with you and I saw a flyer for an all day Rock 'n' Bowl downtown. They are using the kind of lights that make everything glow."

"Blacklights you mean. And not everything glows, just mostly white stuff."

Ziva shrugged. "I can wear white."

"Me too," Tony concurred. "Why don't we go over right after," he wiggled his eyebrows, "a group shower?"

"Does that mean Meira too?"

Having already, sometimes with his wife's assistance and sometimes not, wrestled their usually gentle pet through more than one of those in the last year (she wasn't a fan of baths), he already knew the answer. "Nope." The dog looked up at him and he rubbed her head. "Sorry girl, this is for couples only."

The shower was relaxing, slow kisses and gentle caresses under the falling water, then they both put on clothes that were at least partially white and headed out. The event was more popular than Tony expected and they snagged the last open lane at the far end. Between the disco ball, laser light patterns dancing across the room, and the fluorescing clothing Ziva was fascinated. She knew the general concept of bowling and they'd been to one or two of Abby's nun tournaments over the years, but oddly enough she'd never tried it herself until today.

Tony took great pleasure in demonstrating, since bowling was part of his repertoire, but enjoyed it even more when she let him stand close behind her to help with form. She got the hang of it after a couple frames and when she won her first strike Ziva turned and flung her arms around his neck. Their congratulatory kiss garnered a few whistles but luckily the darkness hid her blush and they continued. Tony soundly trounced his wife when it came to the final score but both were having too much fun to bother comparing.

The couple got ice cream cones after and walked along the river hand in hand, sharing licks of each other's flavours to determine the best. A later breakfast meant lunch got skipped altogether and now they were ready for an early supper. "So, am I taking you out anywhere?"

Ziva contemplated her options. "Actually, I am thinking you should make me dinner."

"Okay." He wasn't refusing her anything today.

She edged closer. "In our pyjamas."

Interest rose his eyebrows. "Sure." It was in his favour to be agreeable, especially when it was something he'd enjoy too.

"And eat by candlelight," she finished, still inching towards him.

"Perfect."

Now she was right in front of him. "Thank you for a wonderful day."

Tony grinned and pecked her lips. "The day's not over yet."

First thing at home he disappeared into the office and came back with a present - an adorable stuffed monkey wearing a small NCIS windbreaker and hat. There was even a utility belt around his waist complete with gun, badge, and a shiny paperclip just for her. Ziva cuddled the toy while Tony explained. "Although the current Navy mascot is Bill the Goat, the Navy Monkey was the original mascot. Plus, the monkey was way cuter than any goat."

She kissed his cheek. "I never know what you are going to come up with next." He was named Koffee on the spot - Kof was the Hebrew word for monkey and if she had to think of a person to be the Navy's mascot (and technically he was already the face of the agency thanks to the brochures), she would pick Gibbs and nothing defined him better than his signature beverage. She would have to add Koffee to the menagerie, which now boasted several different species - Moses and her first Valentine's 'I Love You' bear, Button the Hippo from the aquarium in Philadelphia along with Tony's stuffed stingray, and her Jules toy from the stables. "He is wonderful."

Tony slid his hands in his pockets. "Look in his jacket."

Ziva did and found a photo of them in the monkey's inside pocket. Pulling it out, she looked at the back and saw in his signature scrawl 'I love you' and 'I'm so proud of you' written there. Drawing him close, she fit their lips together and repeated a sentiment they often used in times like these, "Ahava, you do special days very well."

His arm came around her, his other hand feathering through her hair. "Yakira, you deserve all this and more." And he was determined to see that she got even more before they fell asleep that night. It pleased him tremendously to see his wife smile and know it was because of him.

**NCIS**

"Mark! Mark!"

His head whipped around at the familiar voice and the next thing he knew Cassie threw herself into his arms. Relief at being reunited filling him, he held her as tight as he could. "I miss you too Cass."

She pulled back enough to see his face, noticing he hadn't set her back on her feet yet. "Was that the kind of welcome home you were hoping for?"

Mark released her gently only to cup her face and take possession of her lips. He felt like a year had passed since he last touched her that way and couldn't bring himself to let go. Finally they had to break apart to breathe and Cassie's blue eyes sparkled. "Wow. I think you're going to have to do that again." He obliged and realized they'd acquired something of an audience by the time the kiss was over. Cassie buried her face in his chest to hide her embarrassment and Mark gladly sheltered her for a long moment. Finally she stepped back and he took her hand as they headed to baggage claim.

"So, how was your visit?"

Before he could reply a middle-aged woman who'd fallen into step beside them spoke up. "It's always nice to see a couple so in love. How long have you been apart dear?"

Mark grinned, rubbing his thumb over Cassie's rings. "Even an hour would be too long, but this last week was an eternity."

She'd clearly expected to hear a longer length of time. "Oh my."

"I wouldn't change a thing." They continued on their way and he looked at his wife. "To answer your question, it was a great trip. I forgot how good it is to spend time with my brother."

Cassie leaned into him. "I'm glad."

Because Mark felt he really needed some quality time with Kevin, the couple had chosen to stay largely out of contact while he was away. That had been tough, going from waking up and falling asleep in the same bed, numerous texts during the day, some lunches together, plus their evenings to just quick 'I love yous' and good night messages but it was worth it. Mark and Kevin had really connected this week and he now had some exciting news to share.

While Cassie's blue eyes searched for his bag on the revolving carousel, Mark whispered in her ear, "He's getting married."

Gaze jumping to his, Cassie's expression glowed. "Really?!" He nodded. "That's so exciting! Did you meet her?"

Knowing his wife would want all the details, he was prepared with a whole host of information about her sister-in-law-to-be. "I did. The three of us had a couple really nice dinners together." He paused to grab his bag and could see Cassie practically buzzing with excitement beside him.

"Well?" she prompted as they started for the exit.

Mark chuckled. "Her name is Sage, she's six years younger than Kevin. Wears her hair in a braid over her shoulder, often with a flower tucked in somewhere. She dresses gypsy style, grew up in Arizona, has two dogs Molly and Lily, and is an artist. Sage gardens, makes pretty much everything from scratch including some of her clothes, and could probably pass as a flower child except she was born fifteen years too late to belong in that category." Just thinking of the girl, who seemed much younger than her age even though it was close in numbers to Ziva and CJ, made him smile. "But most important of all, she really loves my brother."

"How long have they been together?"

He held the car door for her. "Just over a year. Sage is really good for Kevin. She's all sunshine and easy times, it helps balance out his natural tendency to be a bit withdrawn. I think she's really good at keeping his darkness away. And he helps keep her somewhat grounded."

Celeste grinned. "Isn't it incredible how God works? I would never have believed that troubled teenage boy could become the caring, compassionate man he is if I hadn't watched the transformation myself and added to the prayers behind it. And now he gets this awesome gift. When?" she demanded, already thinking of ways to help.

Mark could see it happening. "Sorry sweetheart, your inner wedding planner is going to have to sit this one out."

"Why?"

"They're not doing anything extravagant, just a simple ceremony outside in a meadow." He headed her argument off before it even got started. "Part of the reason is so he doesn't have to deal with Dad's indifference," their father had very little use for two sons whose chosen careers did not live up to his expectations, "partly because the family is so scattered and the girls are busy with their own lives."

"Addy would come, weddings are great times to catch up," she wheedled.

"This is the way it works for them Cass. The date is set for April and Kevin said he might take vacation time this summer and come see us, so he ran introduce Sage to the kids."

A little deflated, Cassie still offered a compromise. "Maybe Kevin and Sage and our family could go to Colorado and meet up with Addy there. It's not quite halfway but shorter than us going to Arizona or them coming here."

Mark nodded, pleased at the thought of seeing his baby sister again. It had been too long since the last sibling reunion. "Good idea. We can talk to them all a little closer to the time." He changed the subject. "I'm kinda surprised you didn't bring Hugs and Tugs with you."

She looked a bit sheepish. "It's selfish I know, but I wanted to welcome you home by myself. So they're with Grandma and Grandpa." Strangely enough, saying that word without relating it to her mother got easier every time.

His heated gaze met hers. "Oh yeah? Until when?"

A becoming blush stained her cheeks. "Until supper. So you have two and a half hours to show me how much you missed me."

Mark was glad they were so close to the house, her suggestion sparked a desire that had been forced to the backburner all week. "Oh babe, I intend to...thoroughly." Dorothy had been right. There really was no place like home.

**NCIS**

**Sunday March 13**

After another outdoor basketball practice, as the weather had been unseasonably warm lately, during which Mark was thoroughly welcomed back by all Ziva waited for Tony under the tree while he said goodbye. She'd done a lot of thinking since her conversation with Aunt Nettie, had wrestled with herself and the options, and finally came to the conclusion that she loved her husband enough to offer something she still didn't feel ready for or worthy of.

He joined her shortly, a smile plastered on his face. "Hey, ready to go?"

Ziva shook her head. "Will you go for a walk with me?"

His eyebrows immediately drew together and he reached for her hand. "Of course. What's wrong?"

She pulled away as soon as they began moving. "I need to tell you something."

Appraising her posture, his steps faltered. "Sounds serious."

"It is."

When she said no more, Tony tapped his finger on her arm. "Zi?"

Ziva sighed and pulled a small folded paper from the back pocket of her jeans. "I should have shown you this on Friday, but I wasn't sure...I just...needed time."

"Okay." He was prepared to be understanding but she was kind of freaking him out. "What's going on?" Stopping on the path, she held out the paper to him. Tony opened it up and read what was written, his eyes jumping to hers a second later. "This is-"

"A check for twenty thousand dollars, yes."

She was being awfully calm about it. "From Eli."

Ziva crossed her arms and sighed. "Yes."

Tony did his best to extend some patience. "You're gonna have to help me out here honey, I'm lost. Why is Eli sending you a check for twenty grand?"

The dark chocolate eyes he loved drifted across the peaceful park. "It is what I am owed for a year and a half of pension benefits."

They'd never really talked about her compensation from Mossad or the fact that she should've started getting it once she left them for NCIS and for some reason he'd never thought to ask. "What, did the man suddenly grow a conscience?" He didn't mean for it to come out sounding so snarky, but judging by her smirk she appreciated the honest reaction.

"No, but I believe he has been dealing with a determined and opinionated older sister who cannot easily be said no to."

"Ah." Tony took a moment to try and wrap his brain around what this meant but in the end he knew it had to be left up to her. "What do you want to do with it?" He knew what he would most want to put the money towards, but he would never force that decision for her.

Ziva swallowed, continuing to look everywhere but him, though their eyes did meet before she spoke. "Put it in the IVF account." She said it all in a rush like she could change her mind at any second.

He stared at her seriously. "Are you sure?"

"No," she whispered almost brokenly. "But this is something I can give you Tony. I very rarely have something to give, it is a gift."

Possibilities assailed him from all corners - if they deposited the check right now, after twelve months of saving towards in vitro, that would take them from two more years down to less than three months before they would have enough to cover all three chances. Which meant, if dreams came true, Ziva could potentially be pregnant by the end of the summer. His heart leapt at the possibility that they could have a child so soon, after all the waiting and talking and longing of the past year and a half, but something stopped him from agreeing fully and he could suddenly see Ziva sitting on their bed the night he showed her in pictures how far she'd come from the damage of the camp to the fading scars. It was the first time she confessed how much they still affected her and he'd had a fleeting thought for something that might be able to help. At that point they didn't have the means so mentioning it would have raised false hopes and his wife had already had too many of those in her life. But now...

Stuffing down the deepest of his own desires, Tony took her hand and placed the check in her palm, curling her fingers over it. "Reason #913," he shared huskily, dropping a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you for hoping with me that a baby is in our future even though I know it's so hard to let yourself believe such a blessing could be possible. Zi..." His voice faltered and he cleared his throat, pressing on. "Your selflessness means so much to me, but it's more important that you use this money for something that will make a difference in how you see yourself." The expression she wore showed that she didn't follow his logic, but how could she when he'd never told her his idea? He drew a breath. "Because of the scars you still hear lies from that place. I want you to hear the truth, to drown out all the hateful things they ever said. So please, use this money for plastic surgery or laser scar removal, whatever will make it so you don't have to think about them anymore." His lips brushed across her folded fingers. "You deserve it."

Tears spilled down Ziva's cheeks without her permission and she shook her head in disbelief at the gift he was giving back to her. "Tony."

"Shh," he whispered, catching the tears on his fingertips and gently wiping them away, "it's okay sweetheart, I mean it."

The long string uttered in Hebrew as she sank into his embrace wasn't clear enough for him to translate, but he knew it had to mean something good and kissed her head. A few minutes later she pulled herself together and they headed back to the house. Their conversation left Ziva thoughtful and quiet all day and he knew at some point when she was in the office she had started looking into scar removal options on the computer. But the rest of the time she just sat in the corner chair and stared unseeing out at the bright sunshiny day.

He was glad when she finally joined him on the couch and held his hand for the duration of the film he'd started. She seemed more herself when it came time for bed, though inside their room she hesitated and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. "I think there is too much on my mind for making love tonight ahava, but I need to be close to you all the same. Can we go to bed in only our skin without pressure for more? I am craving the reassurance and comfort I feel being with you that way."

Tony grinned like she'd given a tremendous gift and she shook her head, not following. He held her face in his hands. "I remember the times when you didn't feel safe without more than one layer of clothing on honey, that being naked with me is actually comforting and a reassurance for you now only shows how far we've come. So yes, we can absolutely go to bed like that with no pressure for more and I will just be thankful for getting to this place."

Staring at him as if she could not comprehend that statement, Ziva murmured a very quiet, "I do not deserve you," and started getting undressed. It was his honour to hold her that night, to be tangled up together with the full length of their bodies touching, softly caressing warm skin, ears attuned to familiar heartbeats, and achingly tender kisses kept few and far between so as not to tempt them towards a line that wouldn't be crossed tonight. Ziva trusted him and though he knew that in his head all the time, being given full confirmation of that fact now made for a fabulous way to fall asleep and he fully expected peaceful dreams to follow.

**NCIS**

**Monday March 14**

Ziva woke up on her side of the bed and opposite of how she'd shifted into dreams, early enough she could've gone for a run if this wasn't already an Ops day. Rolling over she snuggled close to her husband, kissing his shoulder and draping her arm over his. Tony stirred and she smiled, pressing her lips to his back, enjoying the warmth radiating off of him. They'd fallen asleep sans clothing, not due to other activities but simply for the freedom of being wrapped around each other, bare skin against bare skin, nothing hindering the exploration of hands and mouths as they caressed their way into sweet dreams.

Even now, when this had been their life for over forty months, Ziva couldn't help but marvel at the miracle of happiness, of joy, of oneness. And of his tender loving care that she experienced day after day. It was that very thought which emboldened her to push aside the covers and add intent to the kisses she trailed up his neck as her hands slid slowly over his body, drawing him into wakefulness.

Tony shifted to his back and groaned, still half-asleep when she moved gracefully to sit low on his abdomen, not resting too much weight there. He snuffled and swiped at his face, always concerned about drool, before she bent over and skimmed her lips over the corner of his mouth. "Boker tov ahava."

"You're lucky I got up earlier to go to the bathroom," he mumbled, hands rising of their own accord to hold her hips.

What she whispered was in Hebrew that his sleep muddled mind couldn't untangle, then she nipped at his earlobe and Tony suddenly felt much more awake. The next thing he knew they had become one and before his eyes opened he was already smiling. Being on top was what she preferred, a little fact burned into his brain from that first undercover assignment, but ever since Somalia the times she felt brave and confident enough to be the one in control were few and far between and he'd missed seeing her this way. He was especially glad their conversation the day before hadn't continued to be so heavy today as to prevent this expression of her love.

Ziva spent ten minutes afterwards laying stretched out on top of him, trying to stave off the aloneness she often felt when they separated. Finally she slid off with a languid kiss and sat against the headboard, the sheet tucked around her, being covered still preferable to feeling exposed at times. She studied his pleased expression and frowned. "We are going to have to do something about that look."

"Why?"

Her expression was incredulous. "Because you cannot go into the office looking like-"

"Like I had sex?" he finished for her. "It's not a crime Ziva."

"No, only who you had it with," she muttered darkly, crossing her arms.

Tony chuckled and tugged a lock of hair. "We're married. That was perfectly legal sex Mrs. DiNozzo. And you can do that to me any day of the week."

Ziva shorted and slapped his chest, getting up and heading out of the room. "Do not push your luck."

"I'm willing to offer bribery," he called after her.

She stopped at the door and looked back. "What kind?"

Tony's mouth opened and closed, trying to formulate a clear thought when she stood naked in front of him. "I uh...I don't know yet. But it'll be great."

Ziva shrugged. "Come up with something spectacular and we will talk."

She went to shower and Tony lay back. _Spectacular, huh?_ "Alright, you're on," he whispered. This was going to be one sweet deal - for both of them.

Forty minutes later Tony still hadn't been able to rein in his pleased expression and McGee groaned when he strolled into the bullpen singing 'Luck Be A Lady'. As soon as the words died away Tim immediately held up one hand. "I don't want to hear about your night Tony."

The senior field agent went for innocent. "I don't know what you're talking about."

McGee pointed. "You only wear that look when you get laid. I do not need to know, nor do I care."

Tony opened his mouth to retort and Gibbs walked by, doling out a headslap. "Can it DiNozzo."

He pouted. "But Boss-"

The team leader cut him off. "Keep your social life out of the office. Grab your gear, got a case."

Pretending to be crushed, Tony reshouldered the bag he'd just put down but shared a conspiratorial glance with his wife. One of these days they were going to blow everyone's minds.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday March 15**

EJ snuck up on Tony coming out of the lab as he was exiting the stairwell. "Fancy meeting you here."

"A-agent Barrett," he stammered. "What are you doing on this level?" After three days without her showing up at the office he began to hope she was away for awhile.

"Just checking on results from Ms. Scuito. And it's EJ. Agent Barrett just sounds so," she screwed up her face, "impersonal. Things don't need to be formal between us Tony."

She said 'us' like the concept actually existed and Tony had to stop himself from being sarcastic. "Well, I've gotta see Abby for a case so, uh, later."

EJ grabbed his arm as he turned away, a little frustrated because she'd never had to work this hard to get somewhere with a man before. "Wait. Look, let's just cut to the chase. I find you attractive, I know you've noticed me, so why don't you just come back to my place after work, or go out for drinks with me and once we've had a few we can see what happens." She shrugged one shoulder. "There's no reason to be shy about it, we're both adults."

Tony hadn't been so shocked since Jeanne casually asked about sex after only a month of dating. But being the good operator he was he cleared his throat and threw on a grin to hide his extreme discomfort with the situation. "Tempting offer, really EJ," he stressed her name in a more intimate tone, knowing it would get her attention, "but I've actually got a date tonight." Since they were walking a thin line between truth and lies with all the evasion, he hoped going home with his wife fit the loose definition of 'date'.

"Oh." She seemed deflated for a moment, then bounced back. "Yeah, I take you for the kind of guy who has a pretty active social life." EJ flashed him a flirty smile. "It's not serious though, is it?"

He hemmed and hawed. "Could be." More like totally was.

One eyebrow quirked up. "Engaged kind of serious?"

Tony couldn't hold back the chuckle. "Definitely not engaged." Twice was enough, thank you very much.

EJ leaned close, lowering her voice. "So what I'm hearing is 'not married'." She winked and he wondered if Lieutenant Kim had found his own use of that argument as distasteful he thought it now. "In that case, I'll check back with you next time." She sashayed away, hips swinging. "Until we meet again...Tony."

Once she disappeared on her way upstairs he stood facing the wall and banged his head against it a couple times. What exactly did he have to do to get through to that woman? She clearly couldn't take no for an answer.

**NCIS**

Letter #4 from Eli arrived on almost the same day as the others, leaving Tony to wonder how he could be so accurate every month. When he handed it to his wife, Ziva actually stared at it for longer than a few seconds, wondering what Eli might find worth writing down that he would keep sending them. But just as quickly she dismissed the thought and determined not to care, tossing it in the kitchen garbage without a pause. As always after receiving Israeli mail she stayed quiet through dinner and just wanted to sit with him on the couch even though he picked a movie she didn't particularly care for. Something about being so close, about his arms around her and the little kisses he dropped on her hair occasionally, brought peace that would normally be much more difficult to find.

She only lasted for half the film before skimming her lips across his cheek. "I'm going for a shower."

Tony squeezed her hand. "Okay. Call if you need anything."

"Thank you," came her faint whisper.

For once Ziva did what her husband was known for when he needed to think. After getting clean under the steaming water she sat on the floor of the shower, the hot spray streaming over her, arms around her knees and heart full of turmoil. Only one place stood out as a sanctuary for times like these and once her decision was made Ziva finished, roughly rubbing her hair to a semi-dry state and dressing as fast as possible when damp skin made that difficult.

Coming out of the bathroom she glanced towards the cupboard under the sink where the garbage was kept and then at her husband, hugging her arms around her middle self-consciously. "I think I need to go talk to Gibbs."

With her biological father causing heartache he got why she felt like Gibbs was a safe place tonight. He crossed the room and set his hands on her arms, leaning in to kiss her softly. "Drive safe."

Ziva pressed a hand over his heart. "Ani ohev otach." Hesitating only slightly, she plucked the envelope from the garbage and wiped a bit of liquid off one corner. "I'll be back."

Tony shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm counting on it."

With a faint smile she departed and he returned to the couch, hoping Gibbs could offer the solace she lacked.

**NCIS**

She got halfway down the stairs before he noticed, once again impressing him with her stealth skills, but as she was pretending not to know he knew she was there, he did the same. Ziva settled on the third step from the bottom, her usual spot, holding a pink envelope and sliding her fingers idly along the edges. For awhile Gibbs continued what he'd been doing, fitting together the long boards that would eventually form the hull. He was almost done the first side and preparing to move around to start the other when Ziva finally came over to show him what she held.

He took it, examining her name and address written on the front in a man's hand. She sighed. "It is from Eli. He has been sending one a month since December."

Gibbs flipped the envelope over, noting that the flap was still sealed. "You read any of them?"

Ziva made a face. "The first I tore into pieces, the others have been quickly disposed of."

He waved it at her. "And this one?"

She crossed her arms. "I do not want to know what is in them and I do not care. But I am beginning to be...curious about his persistence."

Gibbs couldn't in good conscience encourage her to contact the man, not after what he'd done and what he'd failed to do, but neither was it his place to help her sever those ties. "Only one way to know."

"Yes." Ziva leaned back against the workbench. "And because of that I will just have to live with the curiosity." She refused to give Eli the satisfaction of breaching her defenses. Her head tipped to one side. "What do you think I should do?"

He shook his head. "Not up to me Ziver. Whatever you choose has to be what's best for you, what gives you peace. I don't want him to take that from you again."

She rubbed her forehead, another stress headache hovering just on the verges. "He sent me a cheque," Ziva confessed quietly. "For a very...significant amount of money Abba."

Eli didn't strike him as the generous type. "What for?"

One shoulder shrugged. "My pension and benefits from Mossad, a year and a half worth for what was never given."

"There a catch?" Favours from Director David didn't come without strings attached.

"Not that I can find." Which of itself baffled her despite the reasons Aunt Nettie had related.

Though Gibbs was loathe to admit it an explanation stared them in the face, though it was one he remained reluctant to accept as well. "Maybe he really does regret his actions."

Sorrow coloured her tone. "I do not know if I would ever be able to believe that if it was true."

He slung an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. "You don't need to know the answer now kid."

Ziva slid her arms around his waist. "I love you Abba."

Gibbs sighed. "Love you too." He nodded towards the boat. "Wanna help?"

She shook her head. "Maybe I will just watch you work for awhile."

"As long as you want." Celeste too found the act of spectating both soothing and comforting. And right now he'd do anything to make her feel even just a little bit better.

**NCIS**

The hour was growing late by the time he finished a second movie and Tony debated about waiting up for his wife but decided not to so she wouldn't feel pressured to share anything with him tonight. He didn't know if she'd feel the need to talk tomorrow either, but at least he could give her that choice. Meira, who'd been walked after Ziva left and the original movie ended, came out of the office carrying her favourite toy. Tony ruffled her fur.

"Found your bunny, huh girl? I guess I'll have to hide it better next time." She released the stuffed creature to lick his cheek and he smiled. "Just for that you get a treat before I go to bed."

Once under the covers he glanced at the empty space beside him and sent Ziva a text. _In bed now, take your time. Wake me up if you need anything, even if it's just a hug. I promise I won't mind. I love you._

**NCIS**

**Wednesday March 16**

The next morning Tony was up before his wife, probably because it had been almost today by the time she crawled in beside him, tucking herself against his side and pulling his arms around her. Though she didn't use words to ask, he was really glad she woke him for that hug. Now he was letting her sleep a few extra minutes while he hunted for Eli's latest letter and where she might've left it. There was no pink envelope in the kitchen garbage or on the table. She hadn't dropped it on the coffee table or counter when she got home. He found it in the last place he looked, the small garbage can in the office and sighed, knowing it couldn't be rescued yet. He'd have to wait until the end of the week and change all the garbages at the same time to avoid suspicion. Tony just hoped Ziva didn't feel like tearing it into little tiny pieces between now and then.

Returning to their room, he sat on the bed and leaned over to kiss her shoulder. "Good morning Zi."

She opened her eyes with a smile, beckoning him closer to claim his lips. "Good morning." And really, there was no better start to the day than that.

_Replies:_

_Mishka - thank you, I'm glad to hear that. Tony and Ziva are living under Rule 18 - it's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. Hard to say which will come first between announcement and IVF. You just never know with fiction :) I'm glad you're enjoying the Z&amp;G father/daughter stuff, I like it too. Well...it's more complicated with Tony and Gibbs, I can't have them having a serious conversation that doesn't already happen in the show because, since he's already admitted to loving Ziva, the only thing left for T to give away is that they're married and he'd rather not be with Gibbs in a setting where personal questions might come up. They are trying very hard not to actually lie about their relationship status. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Melissa - hi, thanks. That's nice to hear. I've been saving their IVF discussion for a long time, it's nice to finally get to the scenes I've already had finished. That line from T about wanting a baby with her breaks my heart too. No, and EJ's becoming a pain in my side. I cannot wait until the end of the season when I can take a long break from her. Jimmy has concluded that T loves Z, he could think the kiss was just a one-off occurrence, but I don't know that he's really taken it much further than that. They won't be talking to him, sorry. There's a lot of 'don't ask, don't tell' going on right now, safer that way. Well, right now I have up until Ch 55 sketched out but I may still be adding a couple more, it all depends on the inspiration. But God has been very generous with that and I'm thankful :) Thanks so much for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Allie - I'm glad to hear it :) Any time a chapter makes someone smile means I've done something right. Lol...oh, Ziva noticed and she is not happy. More to come ;) Nice to know you enjoyed everything. Umm...if you're talking about Ziva's agent celebration on the show, it actually took place during his undercover assignment to find the mole in EJ's team. I changed the dates on that to correspond with it being a year in MIT time from when she was cleared by Ducky to be back on active duty after Somalia. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - Me too. God just dropped that idea in my head about a way for Cassie and Claire to get to know each other. I know, isn't Tony the sweetest? I do love the way he loves her and you're right, she has needed that for a long time. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	47. 8x19 Tell-All 5

**Wednesday March 16 continued**

Soon after the mail was delivered Tony got extremely curious about who could be sending something to Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Checking to make sure the coast was clear, meaning Gibbs hadn't returned from his coffee run yet, he walked over to the team leader's desk and studied the envelope. When he shamelessly read the scripted words, his eyes almost fell out of his head. "No way!" Both McGee and Ziva looked up, both a little wary as to the cause of his excitement. He turned eagerly to his teammate. "Guys, you won't believe this! It's a wedding invitation!"

McGee jumped up to join the senior field agent and frowned, blinking at the envelope, not censoring the first words out of his mouth. "Who would want to invite Gibbs to their wedding?" Then he considered it more and realized anyone off the team, Abby probably most of all, should and would count him as an honored guest. But for anyone else...

"The man's been married four times. That doesn't exactly make him a lucky charm," Tony put in.

Ziva stopped what she was doing, her expression thoughtful. "You are both overreacting. I, for one, would like very much for Gibbs to be there when I get married." Both men swung to face her and she backtracked. "Hypothetically I mean. You know, when I...someday. If-" No explanation was working so she gave up. "Never mind."

McGee gave her his best Tony look. "You really think we're going to let it go that easily?" Tony straightened and they stood like mirror images with their arms crossed. "Are things getting serious with Rob?"

Ziva cleared her throat, glancing between them. "There is nothing to get serious. We are...we are just friends."

Tony chuckled. "Six months and still giving us the friend line David? It's getting a little old, don't you think?"

Her eyes narrowed at the reference to their own lines. "I do not see how that is any of your business."

Tim recognized her about-to-cause-bodily-harm glare and prepared to back off. Tony didn't take the hint quite as well. "Time is short Zee-vah. You should never hesitate on relationships."

She snorted. "So says the man who never stops to consider the consequences and goes through several women per week, none of which you keep long enough to qualify for a relationship."

He smirked. "Several would be an exaggeration Agent David, I do have standards you know."

One eyebrow arched. "Then I suppose someone must be meeting them. Your libido seems to be very satisfied lately."

Tony was rarely struck speechless but that comment succeeded and he stared at her dumbly for several seconds, reading the sparkle of amusement in her eyes before recovering and moving closer. "Jealous David? You want some of this?"

She met his challenge, stepping forward so their bodies almost touched, locked gazes dark and intense. "Tony," she purred, "what could you possibly have that I would want?"

He didn't get the chance to dig himself a deeper hole because Gibbs interrupted with a scowl. "Anyone ever teach you two about personal space boundaries?" It was a rhetorical question while he retrieved his gun and badge from the drawer. "Grab your gear."

It took an extra second before Tony and Ziva followed orders because both had determined not to blink first, so Gibbs shoved Tony towards his desk when he pushed between them, muttering something under his breath as he headed to the elevator. Bringing up the rear, Tony slid his hand over Ziva's backside and was rewarded with an elbow to his stomach, carefully pulled for his benefit, though the fuss he made belied any special treatment and left McGee fighting amusement with a faked cough. Tony wondered if he only imagined the smile on Gibbs' lips as he took another sip of coffee. The man got way too much satisfaction out of seeing Ziva win these confrontations. So much for a dad not having favourite kids.

At the crime scene Jimmy stayed on Bluetooth with Breena, keeping her company while they got set up. But his side of the conversation was distracting to him and everyone else and he had to say goodbye. "Sorry about that. Breena likes to have someone to talk to while she's embalming."

Tony shook his head. Clearly there weren't two people in the world more suited to each other than them.

Gibbs spoke without looking up, shocking all of them with his statement. "I think you should marry that girl Palmer."

The team exchanged glances and Tony couldn't help himself. "Since that's the first positive thing I've ever heard Gibbs say about marriage, I think you better listen Jimmy."

The autopsy assistant seemed to take both to heart and they got back to work.

**NCIS**

Ziva slipped into the women's locker room after they returned and smiled at the lone closed shower curtain but no running water. Sweeping aside the material, she shook her head at her partner. "You would be terrible at hide and find."

"Hide and seek." He studied the inside of the shower. "I didn't have much time."

"A bit of a change from our usual venue, is it not?"

Tony shrugged. "I never realized how big these stalls are. Definitely room enough for two."

Her gaze spoke of desire even though less than a day had passed since they last found pleasure and release in each other. "Is that an offer Mr. DiNozzo?"

"Depends." This was getting interesting. "Do you accept?"

She eyed the space longingly for a moment, then shook her head. "I cannot." Ziva looked him up and down slowly, a seductive smile playing over her lips. "However, if you were to ask me later you would not find me turning the offer down again."

Intriguing. Tony thought about continuing along that line because he loved flirting with her but refrained and stepped onto the floor, serious face in place. "So, you want Gibbs at your wedding?"

Ziva looked away. "That was a reflex. It was out before I could stop the words."

He rubbed his hands down her arms and set them on her hips. "Do you feel cheated because we were the only ones at our wedding?" He was thinking about Aunt Nettie missing that day too.

Her brow furrowed, one hand moving to rest on his shirt. "Tony, no. That was the way it had to be. And Gibbs...we were not close then the way we are now."

"But you'd want him there, if you had it to do over?" he pressed.

Ziva sighed, spinning her anniversary ring around. "Have you never thought that our friends and family would have liked to see us get married? To witness the joining of our hearts and lives?"

Tony cupped the back of her neck, his thumb running over the fine hair. "It's not out of the question you know, doing a renewal ceremony for everyone after our secret comes out." He grinned. "I'd marry you again in a heartbeat Zi."

She smiled fondly and tipped her head to the side. "Do you wish Gibbs had been there?"

"I wouldn't change anything about that day Ziva. It's ours and I cherish the memory." He chuckled. "I don't know if a headslap at the end of the aisle is an ideal Kodak moment, but speeches, embarrassing stories, and funky dance floor moves? I could get into that, someday."

"With a proper honeymoon to follow?" Ziva asked hopefully. The brief tastes of being away with him left her with a longing for more of that.

"Anywhere in the world," he promised, anxious for that part most of all. "For two weeks, maybe longer." He'd always thought she deserved better than the hotel room weekend that had passed for their first celebration.

"Good." She looked towards the door. "We should go."

Tony stared at her in mock outrage. "Mrs. DiNozzo, you wouldn't actually leave without kissing me when we're all alone here, would you?"

"I guess I could not pass up the opportunity." Ziva framed his face with her hands, lips gliding smoothly over his.

He pulled her even closer, opening his mouth and deepening the kiss before she could move back. She smiled against his skin and turned the passion up a notch before deftly slipping out of his hold and dancing away. Tony waited ten seconds to follow after her and tried to keep his expression neutral. It wouldn't do for people to get curious.

**NCIS**

Later Tony and Ziva went out to talk to FBI Agent Archer, who hadn't shown up for work today. As they walked up to her house Tony grinned. "Playing hooky, huh? I would never do that." But oh the times he's thought about just staying in bed with his wife instead of going into the office!

Ziva raised an eyebrow. "Never?"

He shrugged. "Well, if I thought it wouldn't endanger our jobs, absolutely. But that's not likely to happen."

"Yes I know," she retorted, not certain if she believed him. "Gibbs would probably shoot you if you went AWOL."

Pretty sure he didn't feel like testing that theory, Tony knocked on the door. When it opened at a touch they drew their guns and went in, finding Agent Archer dead, and their investigation took a whole new turn.

When they finally got the author of the mysterious _Birdsong_, a manuscript that visited murder upon all those unlucky enough to have gotten an advance copy, to talk to them his admission of the original copy safely hidden away in a storage locker sent Tony, Ziva, and McGee to the storage facility. On their way in McGee was trying to remember which number of wife Diane was after Tony shared that he'd overheard Gibbs and Fornell talking about the invitations they both received to her wedding.

The probie finally shook his head. "This is exactly the reason why I'm getting married only once."

Tony couldn't resist following his natural urge even though he didn't at all believe what he was saying. "I don't know. I say McHefner here goes at least two rounds."

Ziva elbowed him. "I am sure McGee will find the right woman." She glanced sideways at him. "Unlike some people."

McGee smiled. "Thank you Ziva." He appreciated her confidence, though right now that possibility did not seem as likely as it once had.

Tony gave his partner a dirty look and she smirked. "Although I'm sure you too could have a lasting relationship Tony. You would, of course, have to settle for just one woman though."

He leered instead of sticking his tongue out at her insinuation as he would've preferred. "There's nothing wrong with playing the field David."

She chuckled. "That all depends on which game you're playing."

Before he could come up with another retort, McGee interrupted with actual case related information. "Lieutenant Keeler said he rented locker thirty-seven. It's gotta be just down here."

Tony looked ahead of them and frowned upon seeing three men in uniform unlocking a unit. "Hey, isn't that the admiral?"

Ziva followed his gaze. "Must be the DIA."

"Hey, excuse me guys," the senior field agent called, turning Admiral Hindley's face towards them as one of the soldiers pulled the door up. But anything else he was going to say was cut off by the explosion that burst outwards from the storage unit. The force of the blast threw the admiral back against the wall before he fell to the floor and lifted the two soldiers off their feet, propelling them backwards into the hallway. Tony was pushed back, though he somehow managed the presence of mind to fall in such a way as to shield his wife from the fiery attack, while McGee simply dropped to the ground in a protective crouch.

Though the ringing alarm competed with the ringing in their ears from such close proximity to the explosion, the team were still focused enough when the smoke cleared to realize that no way, no how had anything survived that. And as soon as Gibbs got ahold of the perpetrator, someone was in a huge amount of trouble.

**NCIS**

**Thursday March 17**

In a rare turn of events all four of them were in the lab working on evidence - Abby and McGee trying to revive the remnants of Keeler's computer that had been inside the exploding locker (which meant they had to set aside their current disunity and focus on the case), and Tony and Ziva attempting to reassemble burnt scraps of paper from _Birdsong_ on the table, as usual arguing like children on a playground and providing the entertainment.

"Tony," Ziva stated in an exasperated tone, "you are hogging all the end pieces."

He looked up from his side. "That's because I start with the end pieces. Haven't you ever done a puzzle before? You go out to in."

Her expression and tone reflected disbelief. "Have you ever done a puzzle before? Because you work in to out."

Abby turned around, exerting great control not to burst out laughing at them. "Will you guys stop? I'm trying to read here."

Out of nowhere Tony started muttering. "Why would she invite two ex-husbands?"

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Oh, here we go. Tony, you have already learned who sent out the invitation. Can you not just leave it at that? I mean, how would you like it if we pried into all your secrets?"

He snorted. "I don't have any secrets, I'm an open book."

Crossing her arms, she stared at him. "Really?" No more could be said because Gibbs walked in but Tony grinned at her knowing look. He had so much fun when they were just acting like themselves.

Much later on their way back up to the bullpen Tony nudged her. "Ziva David, I challenge you to a puzzle match. Winner gets to claim that their method is the best. What do you say?"

She smirked. "You're on."

A quick stop at Wal-Mart after work found them with _Beauty and the Beast_ puzzles that came in convenient small boxes and they met at their kitchen table, putting an extra leaf in it to give them room to spread out their pieces. Tony sat at one end, Ziva at the other, and they began. Since it was his wife's choice, he eventually couldn't help a clarifying question. "Are you trying to tell me something here Zi? I mean, you're Belle of course, mia bella, but I'm not really the Beast, am I?"

Ziva stood and slowly walked around the table. She stopped at his chair, feathering her fingers through his hair before sliding them down to rub the sandpaper shadow of a beard. "No yet. Perhaps in a couple of months you could claim that title."

He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I don't know babe, maybe I should try out the beard look, just to see what I think."

"I would love you in any state of appearance yakiri," she confided. "But I do favour the fresh from a shave feeling of your skin on mine."

If that wasn't incentive Tony didn't know what was. He jumped up. "Why don't I go do that right now?"

Ziva caught his hand and began to walk backwards, leading him to the bathroom. "Do you trust me Tony?"

"1000%." Which was a Hebrew way of saying he was absolutely certain.

Her smile grew. "Then will you let me do your shave tonight?"

Tony's eyebrows rose. "You?" Though she had sometimes lounged beside the counter and observed, never once in four and a half years of marriage had she participated in the chore.

Ziva tilted her head. "I think it would be very...intimate."

He grinned broadly. "Works for me."

So in a whole new experience Tony stood between his wife's legs where she sat on the counter, a razor in hand, drawing careful strokes through his shaving cream covered cheeks, jaw and neck. She was meticulous, thorough, and did it all very slowly, teasing him wordlessly whenever their eyes met and she bit her lip or smirked slightly. When she was done and had wiped his face clean, her hands cradled his smooth face and brought their lips together. Tony gathered her into him, fingers slipping underneath her top. That was the way it began, from innocent contact to risque until finally they had to move somewhere more comfortable before going any further. What a satisfying end to an evening that began with a challenge, even if they never did get around to discovering whose puzzle method was the best. Maybe some other time.

**NCIS**

**Friday March 18**

She'd monitored the elevator for almost an entire morning before circumstances were exactly as she wanted them. Before the doors slid completely closed she stuck her hand between them and slipped inside, mercifully alone with the object of her affections for the first time in days. The members of Team Gibbs rarely left the building not in pairs so it had taken a lot of patience to get to this moment. Because of the waiting she'd already endured, EJ bypassed pleasantries. "So, am I too late to steal a spot on your dance card for tonight? I was thinking dinner...drinks and after that, who knows?" Well, she knew what she wanted to happen after that, but leaving a little guesswork for the guy never hurt. One of the fun parts of planning a date was the anticipation of exactly how the evening would end.

Tony stared at the floor, the too small distance separating himself and EJ, and wished there was a polite way to add at least a few more inches of space there. He forced a grin and met her expectant gaze. "Shoot the luck. Wouldn't you know it? I already have plans. Sorry about that." Plans being that the garbages needed to be changed so all trash could be put out for Monday's pick up before they left for work. Of course, he and Ziva could probably find something else to do after that.

EJ's shoulders sagged. "Seriously? The lines are getting a little old Tony. What's the matter? It's not like I'm asking for anything here, just a little uncomplicated...fun." She crossed her arms and cocked her hip to one side. "You do know how to have fun, right?"

Thankful that the floor he'd selected had just been arrived at, he strode out of the car. "I have a feeling you and I might hold different definitions of that word."

He left without saying anything else and EJ stared confusedly after him. What was it with this man?

**NCIS**

"Got a wedding invitation this week," Gibbs began.

Celeste paused in washing dishes, trying to decipher his tone. "Your dad?" she asked quietly.

He barked a laugh, the sound harsh. "Nope." He took a minute to switch gears. Though their relationship was better now than it had been in decades, Gibbs still had to work hard not to be angry at his father for too many wrongs and misunderstandings. "Diane."

"Oh." She set another plate in the drying rack. "That's an interesting choice."

"Fornell too."

Celeste laughed. "I hope she isn't that hard pressed for guests." A moment later she sobered. "Neither of you parted ways on good terms. Why on earth?"

Gibbs shrugged. "I dunno. 'M not going." His chisel gouged a shaving from the wood. "I've got no love lost for Diane, that woman gives me a headache. But no one should be alone."

And yet they both were. "That's generous." Considering she'd put him in the hospital for observation with the golf club stunt.

He sighed. "I owe all of you for the mess I made of things." Regret for how he'd hurt Stephanie rose up, but at least she'd found a good man to spend her life with finally.

"It takes two." Celeste used great care wiping the china teacup from her grandmother. "Are you lonely Jethro?"

His lips curved up. "Not so much these days."

The door he opened made her hesitate, but nothing was certain yet so she walked past without daring to look back. "What have you learned from us, the exes?"

Gibbs thought the question might be her way of finding out what chance they had and took it seriously, because he wanted that chance. And they'd been getting closer and closer lately to actually taking it. "That I've got a lot of work to do and changes to make before I could be a good husband to anyone," he said at last. "Gonna take someone pretty special to reform an old grouch like me."

Again she refused the opening. "You're not so old. And there's a good heart under all those layers of hurt and anger. The right woman will be patient enough to find it."

Instead of asking if she'd consider herself for the job of right woman since she'd all but answered the question already, Gibbs simply swallowed. "Thanks Les."

Her smile was a bit forced so she was glad he couldn't see. "What are friends for?" But it was harder to mean the words this time.

He shook his head. "We've never been just friends, not really."

No, they hadn't. Did he know, could he see now, that all the other times she'd been around she'd carefully boxed away the love she held for him so it wouldn't show in her eyes or her voice? But it lived on in her actions strongly enough that she suspected it had never been quite as hidden as she hoped. "I guess I'm not quite used to the fact that we've decided this is going to be something, instead of staying in our familiar state of limbo."

"For what it's worth," Gibbs offered, knowing what he was giving away, "the job of right woman is already filled. If I'm honest with myself, that position's been filled for a long time."

Celeste's expression softened. "Compliment accepted." That thing she'd been thinking about doing but held off on because she felt they needed more time? Now seemed like the perfect opportunity to test out the theory that perhaps the time they needed was getting much nearer to its end. She just hoped when she told him that her ex-husband felt the same way.

**NCIS**

Instead of going to Ops, Ziva called Duke and begged off, citing an important errand to run for her husband and promising to make up for the lost time on Monday. Going to the photo shop she and Tony often frequented to print off picture for their scrapbooks, she entered and appropriated a kiosk. From her backpack came her sketchbook, which had been carefully placed inside that morning, and she flipped slowly through the drawings, looking for one in particular that had been done during her first couples months back after Somalia. It still hurt her heart to see that sketch and the ones preceding it, but this was for Tony and she knew she needed to be brave.

Laying the book facedown on the glass, Ziva scanned a copy of it into the machine and reduced the size from 10x12 to 5x7. Because it was coming from a plain white piece of paper she softened the edges, making them look out of focus so the eye was drawn right to the center of the image. When she was happy with the outcome the copy was printed and she wandered along the row of frames until she came to a simple wooden one that fit nicely. She arrived home before Tony and left her gift on his desk in the office, then hopped in the shower as she wanted him to discover it without her around.

Tony could hear the shower running when he came home from his own workout and grabbed the opportunity to change the garbages so he'd have an excuse to purloin Eli's letter. He saved the office garbage can for last, relieved that the correspondence remained unscathed, and quickly stored it in his bottom desk drawer with the others. He still wasn't convinced that Nettie's idea of interfering was a good one, but neither did he want his wife to have anything more to regret. If the day came when she needed to see those letters, he had her back just as in all other things. That was one of the most important parts of his job as her husband.

The addition to his desk went unnoticed until he stood after having completed the task, then that was the only thing he could see. He let out a slow breath and reached for the frame, immediately recognizing the picture. In the fall after her return when she was struggling with their inability to have children and before she had been willing to hear other options, there was a week when she drew sketches of everything they were missing out on, but this stood out as the most poignant.

A family shown from the back, walking down a familiar street as the sun slowly set in the sky, mother and father each holding a small hand as a toddler took uncertain steps between them. The detail was amazing, it was unquestionably them even if features were shaded out, and just as he had been at first Tony was astounded at her skill. This time, however, he didn't feel the initial despair and heartbreak that leapt out of the picture on his first viewing. Instead there was an undeniable sense of hope shining through. The gift she was giving him wasn't the photo itself, but to hope with him that one day the family in the picture would be them.

**NCIS**

**Sunday March 20**

When they brought her to him, tears were already streaking down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry ahava."

Tony shook his head, cupping her face gently. "No Ziva, this wasn't your fault." He surrounded her in a comforting embrace, absorbing the sobs that shook her body. "Shh, it's okay. I've got you." From his pocket came their rings and he slipped two slender gold circles over her knuckle before pushing his own band on. Staring into his wife's eyes, Tony captured her lips slowly, carefully. "I love you," he whispered.

Tucking Ziva against his side, he walked towards Gibbs, glaring hard at the man. "You knew how we felt about each other and you did nothing. So guess what?" Tony dropped their badges at his feet and held Ziva tighter. "We quit." Without another word they headed for their car while the team stared after them in shock.

**NCIS**

Tony wasn't sure what disturbed him, but all of a sudden he was awake, blinking into the darkness and trying to find a reason. A drop of water landed on the arm laying across Ziva's chest and he understood. She hadn't suffered through a nightmare in months but the tear tracks on her face were a pretty good indicator of another one, and long after both had hoped they were gone for good. Sighing, Tony kissed her shoulder and propped himself up, brushing her hair back. "Ziva." She stirred but not enough. Tugging the sheet free, he ran his hand up and down her back, having nearly forgotten they were naked under it. "Ziva, wake up." Shifting slightly, she opened her eyes and looked at him. Tony wiped at a few tears. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Ziva rolled to face him, pulling the blanket over her shoulders as a shiver ran through her. "I don't know what happened, but something bad. When they brought me back to you it seemed we no longer cared about our secret. You held me, put on my rings, kissed me. And Gibbs...he did not approve. So you quit for both of us." She splayed her fingers on his chest. "Is that how things are going to be? Will spilling the truth mark the end of everything we've worked for?"

Relieved beyond words that it had nothing to do with Somalia, Tony played with a lock of hair and thought hard. "Maybe," he said finally. "Which, I suppose, is why we keep playing this game. Because we don't want to find out."

She closed her eyes and leaned into him. "I love you."

He dropped a kiss on her hair. "I love you too sweetheart." Tipping her chin up, he stared seriously into her captivating dark eyes. "If anything bad ever happens again, if you were threatened...I wouldn't care about the secret anymore. I'd move heaven and earth and fight anyone who got in my way, even the team, to get you back. We're a package deal Zi, please don't forget."

Ziva nodded. "I know. But I hope it does not happen that way."

"You and me both." It was a long time before they fell back to sleep, the secret hanging over their heads like a black cloud.

**NCIS**

The clock read almost noon before Ziva showed any signs of waking and Tony's concern was only slightly eased. He rubbed his thumb over her eyebrow. "Feeling okay?"

She checked the time and shrugged. "I have been up more than once before now, but sleep keeps calling me."

He touched his lips to hers. "It usually doesn't call this loudly." Tony studied her eyes and saw a trace of shadows. "That dream bothering you?"

Ziva nodded slowly. "My stomach is in knots. I do not want it to be real. But if it was..." she cast her gaze towards the window where sunlight streamed in "...then that means something bad is going to happen again and I cannot..." Her fingers gripped his tightly. "Tony, I cannot go through another trial. I would be broken forever. The strength is not in me to be tested again and make it out alive." Phantom pain gripped her body as tortures were vividly recalled.

Tony dragged her into a fierce embrace. "Don't you dare think that Ziva. Don't you dare think about leaving me again."

She pressed herself tightly against his body, hiding her face in his chest. "You are the last person I want to leave."

He buried his nose in her hair. "I barely slept after you told me, imagining all the ways someone could take you from me again." Tony claimed her mouth once, twice, three times. "But I refuse to live under a cloud of fear sweetheart. We can't let this one dream steal the joy we've fought so hard to find."

Ziva closed her eyes, fighting tears. "Make love to me Tony, please. Ani tzricha otcha." _I need you._

Needing her just as badly, Tony engulfed her in his arms and took things slow, reassuring her the best way he knew how. When he finished thoroughly convincing his wife of their love and caught his breath, Ziva kissed him over and over, tears dampening her cheeks when she couldn't find words to thank him for being such a good man. Heartbeats had long since returned to normal when Tony focused on the glowing blue alarm clock numbers, pressing his lips to her shoulder.

"We're going to be late for the game," he murmured.

She closed her eyes. "I don't want to go today."

Tony tightened his grip. "Probably a reason to go babe. It's not always good to be stuck in our own heads. Plus, there's the kids."

Yes, the children, who expected each aunt and uncle to show up, proving all was right in their little world. Ziva didn't have the heart to ruin their illusion. "Alright."

They walked into the community center gym several minutes tardy and Mark was getting ready to send out a search party. Everyone looked up at the doors opening, relief displayed on all expressions. "You're supposed to call man," the group leader grumbled.

Alec, McKenna, and Ryan flew at Ziva for their hugs, then to Tony next and Adrian jogged over to join the fun. When he reached for Ziva she quickly stepped back and he stopped, concerned. "What's wrong?"

She swallowed and shook her head, forcing a small smile. "Nothing. I'm sorry Adrian, you startled me."

So formal. Adrian frowned and looked at Tony while Ziva hesitated between the doors and the bleachers. She finally moved close and perched on the edge, offering only a brief hello to the other women. Now they were all concerned. "What's going on?"

Tony rubbed the back of his neck. "Nightmare."

His eyes widened. "She's still dealing with them?" It had been over a year and a half, that wasn't right.

"Not since December," Tony sighed. "But it's been on her mind from early this morning." He watched the ladies exchange glances, glad when Cassie was chosen to talk to Ziva. After a few quiet words the Israeli nodded and they left together. He watched them go and started when Mark's hand descended on his shoulder.

"Work it off buddy. Cassie's got this."

Knowing he was right, Tony joined his friends on the court. It was the last indoor basketball practice so they'd better make it a good one. Skills needed to be top notch for when they moved back out to the park permanently and started showing off once more.

**NCIS**

Cassie and Ziva braved the slight chill still in the air to take a walk on the path that wove through the wooded area surrounding the center. The older woman was content to wait her friend out and Ziva eventually broke. "I dreamt that it all came out, our secret, but the events that lead up to that were very hard on Tony and I and we quit because Gibbs did not understand." She clutched her Star of David, which she'd put on this morning because it was one of those times she just wanted the symbol close. "I cannot stop thinking about it Cassie. Are we still doing the right thing keeping our marriage from the team? Was it ever the right thing in the first place?"

Linking their arms, Cassie leaned into her. "You'll have to tell me the answer to those questions Ziva."

She lifted her eyes to the blue sky. "In the beginning, yes. My father would have brought me back to Israel against my will if he thought I had been compromised. Only since July when I became a citizen was that threat removed."

"And the reason your secret still stands?"

Ziva's dark gaze met Cassie's honest, open blue one. "Because we are still afraid of being separated and placed on separate teams. Gibbs is so firm about the rules. It may not be against NCIS policy for there to be married agents, but we do not think he would stand for such a violation."

"It sounds like the choice is made for you," Cassie commented. "Want to tell me why you wouldn't let Adrian hug you? Why you avoided the rest of us to keep from having to refuse what has become a normal greeting?"

She sighed. "The dream...in it there seemed to have been a bad situation and I was taken from Tony again, for what I do not know. But I am terrified of facing what I did in the desert Cassie, I am not strong enough to do it over. And so the ghosts are a little closer today."

Concern was written all over her friend's face. "Does that happen often?"

Ziva gave the question careful thought before answering. "Most of the time it is just in the background and does not interfere with my ability to interact with others or love my husband. But when I have a nightmare and I am right back in that room, experiencing those horrors over again..." She sighed and rubbed her wrists, the marks detailing her constant struggle against retrains still present after close to two years.

"Some things I know I will carry with me forever. My body may always bear evidence of the marks they left. But remembering is going away. The nightmares have not struck in almost three months and I am hopeful they are at an end, something I did not think would ever happen in the beginning." Ziva felt the reassuring weight of her rings, needing them more today than usual. "Tony and I still struggle occasionally when it comes to intimacy, because I am not always able to separate making love from the weapon it became during those awful months, and sometimes we have to take a break so I can find myself again. But he is patient and loving and understanding and so much more than I could ever deserve Cassie."

The blonde stopped, squeezing Ziva's hand. "I think you underestimate yourself. You make him happy Ziva, you love him so generously and gently and beautifully. It's a love story I have delighted in watching unfold." She smiled, eyes shining. "That is what I always wanted for my brother. So thank you for giving him what he has been denied for too many years."

Ziva's tears had been close to the surface since the dream and they found their way down her cheeks now as she wrapped her arms around Cassie, unable to come up with words to say what the declaration meant to her. It touched her almost as much as the note she found under her pillow before Tony came to bed that night. _I don't care what the consequences are for us Ziva, when this secret is no longer. No matter what happens, I am so glad to have married you. Our future is going to be bright as long as you, light of my life, spend it by my side. Don't ever forget. Love, Tony._

**NCIS**

When Tony caught Ziva staring out the sliding door to the backyard, leaning one shoulder on the wall and slowly rubbing her wrists, he knew she was thinking about the camp. Entering the room with Tylenol and water for her headache, she tended to get them often now related to stress, he made sure she took it and set the glass aside, enclosing her in his arms from behind. His thumb brushed tenderly over the scarred skin on her wrists. "I wish I could make this better for you," he sighed inter her hair.

Ziva laced her fingers with his. "I am glad not to be alone ahava. To have you there when I wake up terrified, to tell me it is not real and hold me until I can believe you - that makes so much difference."

"Is there anything else I can do?" he was desperate to help, to get her mind on happier topics.

She spent a long time sifting through ideas. "Do you have any movies where there are no bad people?"

Since antagonists were part of what made for a good stories, the request caused him to seriously analyze the contents of his collection. Even Disney and Pixar movies had enemies and he wanted to avoid any kind of darkness in case she was feeling really sensitive to it today. The options left were fewer - _Little Women_ (though themes of war and loss left him uncertain about that one), _Dolphin Tale_ (a little depression, but otherwise fairly safe). Also on the list was _Overboard_, _Mrs. Doubtfire_, _The Odd Couple ll_, _Princess Diaries_, _Winnie the Pooh_, _Parent Trap_, and an old musical _Seven Brides For Seven Brothers._ A handful of others came to mind along with, of course, the relatively harmless Hallmark Hall of Fame movies.

Eventually Tony smiled, figuring he had enough titles to give some variety. "Come with me and I'll show you the choices."

He lay a decent selection out on the coffee table and waited to see what she'd pick. It took some time for Ziva to narrow them down, but finally she handed him _The Odd Couple ll_ and _Seven Brides_. "One for each of us," she commented, kissing his cheek.

Figuring he'd wait until later to get them a snack, Tony did as he guessed she wanted - lay with her held against him and a blanket tucked around them for good measure. Ziva turned her head to kiss his jaw and whispered, "Thank you," then let the innocuous storyline sweep her away from the trouble of the day. Sometimes this was the only thing she needed.

**NCIS**

Emma found her husband sitting on the back porch steps looking out at their lovely yard, which would begin showing evidence of its professional landscaping from last summer as the temperature continued to rise. She handed him a mug of decaf coffee, taking the advice of the guys to keep his caffeine intake as low as possible. "If you think he's got a cricket-like attention span normally, you do not want to see him after a cup of coffee or a Red Bull." The way Jordan phrased the sentence made her think there was a college story in there somewhere, but she hadn't asked for more information at the time.

"Hey," she said softly, joining him. Adrian glanced at her and attempted a smile but it quickly fell flat. She worked her fingers through the hair at the back of his head. "You've been kinda pensive since the game. Want to tell me what's running through your mind right now?"

He clasped his hands around the mug. "It's not fair," he murmured, staring into the brown liquid.

Emma titled her head. "What's not?"

"That Ziva still has nightmares from the summer she was..." his brow furrowed. "We don't even know what went on that summer. Sometimes it really gets to me, but times like these I wonder if I really want to know what happened to her." He sighed heavily. "You didn't see her right after the summer Em. Mark said someone hurt her and the healing was hard on both she and Tony, but he wouldn't share any more. He's the only one who knows the whole story, though maybe Cassie is privy to more than the rest of us." Adrian reached for his wife's hand, intertwining their fingers. "And I get it, you know, that if it was something as bad as I imagine she wouldn't want to share it with very many people. But I love her Em, I love both of them, and I just wish..." He trailed off again. "I don't even know what I wish anymore."

"Do you feel left out because Tony and Ziva have confided in Mark and Cassie?"

Adrian let his gaze linger on the small waterfall at the far end of the yard as he tried to think of how to explain the dynamics of the group to someone who hadn't grown into it. "Tony and I were roommates, you know that, and we got along great. But I've always been closer to Darien because we can both be kinda goofy sometimes, and Mark and Tony were tight right from the beginning. Brent and Jordan got along well as roommates because they have similar worth ethics and personalities, though Swish is much more of a loner than Jay."

He remembered the first instance they tagged him with the nickname Zippy. At the time it had been about as close to insults as the six of them got, but it stuck and after a very short period of time being called that made him feel special. And it was even better when each of them finally had their own unique moniker. That was when they really started becoming more than just surface level friends and began working their way towards family. "No matter who was closer though, one thing that could be counted on was for all of us to pull together to deal with crises - when Brent's parents died and I lost mine two and a half years later, Tony's career ending knee injury, the pressure Red felt being drafted right out of college, Jordan's mom being absent and much later his dad remarrying, Mark and Cassie getting married in a hurry and dealing with her mom being sick." Adrian shrugged. "We're always there for each other. It doesn't matter who gets the main role, as long as all of us have supporting ones. Mark and Tony seem to take the most turns though."

Emma tucked her hand around his arm. "Who took care of you after your loss?"

They'd never really gotten into a ton of detail about that period of his life, it was one he wasn't proud of whatsoever, but she probably needed to hear it just the same. "I was in a state of shock after the phone call, I lived in a fog until Cam arrived a couple days later from NZ. The guys handled immediate needs and Cam and I supported each other through the funeral arrangements and service. He stayed for two weeks and everyone thought I was pulling through okay. But it was just a front."

He dug his fingers into his hair. "The depression hit as soon as Cam left, hard and heavy. All I knew was darkness everywhere I turned, and pain. I just wanted to numb it, I wanted it to all go away. The guys tried to help but most of them didn't see how deep I was getting in. I'd heard some things, asked the right questions, and learned who could get me the kind of 'help' I wanted." His glance at her was fleeting, he wished he didn't have to give details. "Alcohol, some lighter drugs, some prescription ones...it became a really dangerous spiral. One day Tony got home from class and found me passed out in my room in a pretty telling state. From what I hear, since I don't remember any of it, I scared the crap out of him. He tore the place apart to find where I'd stashed stuff and got rid of everything. Then he stayed holed up with me in that room while the withdrawal symptoms ran their course."

Adrian held his breath for a moment, remembering. "D saved my life. He was my shadow for the next weeks and months, made sure I was never alone. If no one else could be at The Pad because of their schedules he dragged me to his classes with him, often skipped them altogether to keep me company." He groaned. "He forced me to watch all of his stupid movies and filled me with more trivia than I ever cared to know. He made me eat and shower and put on clean clothes and when I finally started to cry he put his arm around my shoulders and just held on. Said later that's what he wished someone had been around to do for him when his mom died."

Finally pausing, he managed a hint of a smile for her. "And that, in a nutshell, is our relationship. It's also why the whole gang treats me like the youngest kid who always need some sort of supervision." Adrian chuckled. "I'm actually really surprised they let me live on my own for so long in San Francisco without one of them nearby. Though I can't say a week ever went by before someone called to check in, almost like they were on a rotating schedule or something." He rolled his eyes. "Then again, knowing Cassie they probably were under those kind of orders."

"That explains a lot," Emma commented. She'd noticed the group was very protective of Adrian, now she understood why a little better.

He shifted to face her. "I'm not proud of the choices I made in those dark days Em and I know I'm incredibly fortunate not to have suffered any long term effects from what I did. But I really learned what brotherly love was when Tony pulled me back into reality and the gang rallied around to make sure I stayed there. I can't regret our bond even though I regret a lot of the circumstances that cemented it."

She leaned in and kissed him slowly. "I don't hold anything against you Adrian. I'm really proud of the life you've made for yourself despite the loss that tried to steal it from you. And I'm honoured that you shared such a painful part of your history with me." Emma shook her head. "There's no judgement here love. You're safe with me, you're safe in our marriage. I don't ever want you to think otherwise."

His lips captured hers in a deep caress, pouring out his thankfulness for those truths. A safe place, that was what he'd always wanted. Adrian was so thankful to have found it in this wonderful woman who was also the love of his life.

**NCIS**

**Monday March 21**

After a blissful weekend during which the subject of the new girl's relentless pursuit of her husband wasn't spared even a moment's thought Monday required them to return to the office, something Tony did with great trepidation, almost as if EJ might jump out and attack him at any moment. It would've been amusing to watch him acting paranoid and looking over his shoulder if the fear wasn't actually warranted.

As it was, EJ's target today was not the handsome Agent DiNozzo, but rather his partner for whom she had no love lost. But partners knew things the rest of the world wasn't privy to and EJ was desperate enough to know that she would swallow her pride and ask. It just so happened that, while Tony was out grabbing lunch orders and McGee had volunteered to make a coffee run, Ziva was alone in the team space. Seeing as her desk was conveniently opposite across the wall, that made it easy for EJ to lean over the partition and clear her throat to get the other woman's attention. She had no way of knowing that Ziva's spidey senses, as Tony would call them, had started tingling the moment she heard the chair swivel.

"So what's the deal with your partner?" EJ asked, earning an immediate frown from Ziva.

"Deal?"

"Yeah." EJ cleared her throat. "He's not...y'know...right?"

Ziva's only response was a furrowed brow. "I do not understand what you are asking."

EJ's gaze flitted around the room. "Is he um...batting for the other team?" That seemed about the most polite way to come right out and say it.

Bewilderment continued to dominate Ziva's expression. "Bat? Like baseball? It is not really his sport. And what does that have to do with anything?"

The other woman laughed nervously. "Wow, you're really not from here, are you?" A dangerous glint appeared in Ziva's eyes and EJ swallowed. "I didn't mean it as an insult. Just that we're both speaking English but I'm not making any sense to you."

"English is only one of ten languages that I speak. You'll forgive me if I get confused once in awhile." Her stiff tone let EJ know she was way over the line.

"Look, I'm just wondering if your partner is gay, okay?" She laughed nervously when Ziva simply stared at her in shock. "I just didn't think it would be this hard to get to know him. So I figured, maybe I'm not his type."

The subtle change from stare to glare was not lost on EJ. "McGee would say if someone is female and breathing, she is Tony's type. But that is none of your business either," she practically hissed, getting up and stalking towards the stairs.

EJ dropped back into her chair. Great, as if they weren't already on fragile enough terms she had to go and make it worse. _Here's hoping our case doesn't merge with any of the MCRT's anytime soon. Right now I think Ziva would rather make me another victim than work together on solving multiple murders._

Ziva was still absent from her desk by the time Tony returned with the food and his eyebrows drew together. She hadn't said anything about leaving. Then again, it wasn't like she had to give him advance notice if she was using the head. But when five minutes passed and she hadn't returned he was getting a bit antsy. One of the guys from Carter's team on the second floor happened by at that point on his way to deliver completed reports to Vance. He gave Tony a wary look and slowed down. "Are you the one?"

Tony's face reflected the obvious question. "Am I the one what?"

"The one who ticked off your partner so badly? She's been in the range obliterating targets for the last fifteen minutes. I went down to get in some practice and got a glare so cold I had to check for frostbite. Everyone on that level is giving her a fairly wide berth. The last time Ziva was this ticked and someone got in her way I think medics were called in."

Thoroughly on edge for what could've upset his wife, he dialed it down to an appropriate level of partner concern and sighed. "Wasn't me. I haven't even been here over the past half hour." Tony made sure to wear an expression of impending martyrdom, preparing to take one for the team in general. "Guess I better go see what's got her all riled up."

The other man chuckled. "I'd wait awhile if I was you. You know the phrase if looks could kill? It's a good thing she doesn't have superpowers or there'd be a lot of bodies laying around right now."

"Warning noted," Tony replied grimly, taking the elevator to Basement Level 3.

Noticing the almost ghost town atmosphere of the hall, he drew a deep breath and quietly opened the door to the shooting range. At the slight click, even with ear protectors on and a loaded weapon she'd been firing, Ziva swiftly turned towards him, prepared to intimidate yet another innocent employee out of the space she needed all to herself right now. Seeing in her expression and body language that she was about ready to murder someone, he took pains to keep his stance relaxed and his expression open, willing her to do the same.

"Should I be staging an intervention right now?" he inquired, doing his best to feel out the clearly volatile situation.

Ziva faced her target again and rapid-fired the remaining three bullets from the magazine, clearing and locking her weapon before setting it on the counter. She removed the ear muffs and leaned on her palms, staring down. "I have done nothing wrong."

"No," Tony agreed softly, "but you look like you want to." She didn't even glance his direction and he edged a bit closer. "Care to tell me about it?" Ziva eyed the weapon wistfully, as if it was her anchor, and he flashed a half-grin. "I'd prefer if you explained it unarmed though, just in case."

She placed the gun at square edges to the stall and finally looked at him. "Of all the people who might possibly end up on an imaginary hitlist ahava, you are not one of them."

"Glad to hear it." He inched forward again, putting himself within touching distance of his wife. "So...who do I have to send Aunt Nettie after?" She stared at him, aghast that he would use her aunt, and Tony shrugged. "What? You've heard the threats she's made about people who hurt her family. She's way scarier than I could ever be. And the woman's never even held a gun!"

Ziva managed a slight smile for her husband's creativity. He had a point. "Unfortunately I do not believing that stoning, drawing and quartering, pushing people into shark tanks, or throwing crystal vases at their heads would be seen as acceptable means of handling this particular issue. But thank you for trying."

The fact that she could list several of her aunt's most vehement threats off the top of her head made him wonder how many times over the years she'd heard them. And more importantly, how many people they'd been carried out on. "Assuming I'm ever told what the issue is, what would be an acceptable means of handling someone who's made you this irate? I haven't seen a level of rage like this since..." Tony trailed off and frowned. "I'm not sure if I've ever seen this level of rage actually."

Being reminded of why she was downstairs in the first place, Ziva crossed her arms and began to pace along the wall. "This is what I look like when the woman who is pursuing my husband has the gall to ask stupid questions trying to find out why he isn't attracted to her." She slapped her hand against the metal door. "I am sick of her interfering! Why can she not keep her own nosy...nose on her side of the wall?" She dropped her face into her hands. "Tony, I am seriously afraid that one of these days I am going to put her down just to shut her up. But I cannot afford to have an excessive force charge on my record."

Rubbing his temples, Tony forced his own irritation with EJ to the background and risked rubbing Ziva's shoulders. "I'm sorry honey. That was low."

"I have faced terrorists that have not pushed my buttons as badly as this woman."

He gave a little laugh. "Yeah, but I'm willing to bet the terrorist weren't hitting on your husband."

Her lips curved up slightly. "There is that."

Tony shifted her to face him. "I don't know what to tell you babe. I've done everything I can not to encourage her."

Ziva's hand lifted to rest on his chest. "I know." She raised her gaze to the ceiling briefly. "If this is how you feel every time circumstances have necessitated Rob being mentioned, then I have been too hard on you about jealousy."

Their foreheads met as they leaned in. "While I appreciate the confession, I'm more concerned about how we're going to get through the length of her assignment here without blood being shed."

In a show of great faith his wife promptly deposited the knife sheath from her waist, the backup in her boot, her small necklace dagger, and the pen/knockout dart in his hands. With a small sigh, she even surrendered her trusty paper clip from the waistband of her pants. "There. Now you do not have to worry as much."

Thinking of the number of things Ziva could do to EJ unarmed with just her bare hands still gave him a pause, but this was a good place to start. Tony set the miniature arsenal on a table and held her face gently, looking deep into her eyes before placing a tender kiss on her lips. "Thank you sweetheart. Your trust means a lot. I'll keep them-"

She placed a finger across his mouth. "Do not tell me where or I may be tempted to renege on this agreement."

"-safe," he finished. "I'll keep them safe until the threat is gone."

Ziva nestled herself against his chest, glad for the foresight which earlier had her closing the blinds on the shooting range windows so she could have some much needed privacy. It was coming in handy now. "I know I am acting childish. I promise to do better."

He brushed his lips over her hair. "I think you've held it in pretty well up until now. That's almost a month. I'm proud of you."

She shook her head. "We must be serious and mature about this. I will do my best to avoid any interactions with Agent Barrett. I encourage you to do the same."

"Believe me," Tony concurred, "avoiding EJ is about to become my second job." Somehow he had to get it across to the woman that her attentions were far from wanted. The tension she was causing was not worth the ways EJ's persistence was helping sell their cover of not being involved. He'd rather go back to having the whole building suspicious of he and Ziva than to watch his wife suffer under the strain of not reacting to any advances the new girl made at him. Enough was finally enough.

**NCIS**

Perhaps it was because she was already a bit morose over the day's events, or maybe Sunday morning's crack of dawn dream was still digging its claws in. Whatever the reason, it came as a shock to Tony when he called his wife's name that night and got a very unexpected reaction. "Ziva, have you seen the-" he began, coming out of the office and stopping short when she didn't seem to register his presence. "Ziva?"

She turned listless eyes towards him. "They never used my name in the camp." The mere mention of Somalia chilled Tony's blood and his muscles tensed. "They called me... Well, things I won't repeat to you, but not my name." Ziva set down the knife she was using to slice vegetables and leaned back against the counter. "I am grateful for one thing they did not steal."

He didn't know what the right response was to that, so he repeated her name quieter. "Ziva."

A small smile touched her lips as the sound of her name on his tongue made her think about all the different ways he said her name - loud and urgent when he called for her, teasing when he dragged the syllables out to bug her, in a normal tone during regular conversation, covered in concern when he woke her from a nightmare, low and breathy when he whispered it against her lips as a precursor to their intimacy, something special just between them when he used her nickname. The myriad of ways and the thousands or perhaps tens of thousands of times he'd said it in their six years of partnership and four and a half years of marriage were more than enough to cover over the harsh voices of the men who called her everything but her name. For that she pressed her mouth to his and let his touch and his familiar words of love heal another scar from the desert trial she'd completely triumphed over.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday March 22**

Tony had chosen dark grey jeans and a black dress shirt to wear to work and it was jogging Ziva's memory back to a case during their first year of marriage that coincided with Valentine's Day. Something about the way the tailored shirt showed off his hard-worked for physique and how his jeans fit perfectly, drawing her eyes to his cute backside, made her want to be close to him, to really look at her husband, appreciating and admiring his sense of style.

Ziva's almost constant attention, the subtle ways she managed to stay in close proximity to him for the majority of their work hours, and of course how her gaze followed his every movement was very off-putting and Tony felt distracted all day. Finally in exasperation he pulled her into the bathroom and locked the door. "What gives Zi?" She arched an eyebrow and he continued, looking down at his clothes. "Did I spill food? Pop a button? Sit in something wet? Why are you staring at me today?"

She fluttered her eyelashes, smiling coyly. "Is a wife not allowed to stare at her husband?"

Her remark caught him off guard and he had no ready retort. Not like he didn't spend a decent amount of time with his eyes fixed on her, but the level of observation in reverse was unusual. "Okay. Fair point. But is there something in particular that's getting your attention?"

Ziva's smile only grew. "Just you." She gestured with a finger. "And what you are wearing." She winked. "It emphasizes all the right places."

As if that statement didn't go and make him feel all kinds of self-conscious. "Um...thank you? I think?"

"Thank you is appropriate. That was a compliment."

Tony frowned. "Okay, but could you try to notice a little bit less until we get out of here? I can't even concentrate with you staring, and it'll be worse now that I know what you're staring at."

Ziva chuckled. "I will see what I can do."

He grinned. "Good. And I'll look forward to showing off my...attributes to you at home tonight." The next instant he groaned. "Shoot! I forgot I'm meeting the guys at the batting cages after work. Rain check for later?"

"Definitely."

"Good." He caught her lips in a rather passionate kiss, brushing his knuckles down her cheek. "Thanks honey, it's really nice to be appreciated. I love you."

She returned the gesture, a quick peck of her lips on his. "I love you too." Then she slipped away and Tony couldn't help but wish guy's night out has been booked for any night except this one.

**NCIS**

A few hours later sitting around in chairs with his frat brothers, sipping cold drinks and talking, Tony no longer regretted their plans. Batting practice had been fun, trying to outdo each other with speed and intensity, the competitive nature of teammates easily taking over. But now they just got to chill out in the fading sunlight and enjoy each other's company. Funny, twenty years ago he'd been content surfing bars and hitting on women, now his definition of a good time was completely opposite to what he would've said back then. Thinking of those days made him chuckle and Jordan looked over. "What?"

Tony leaned back in his chair. "I was just thinking about some of those truly awful pickup lines we used on girls in college, convinced we were all that."

Adrian shook his head. "You can bet our girls wouldn't fall for any of those cheesy attempts."

At that Tony perked up, leaning forward. "What did you say?"

"I said our girls-"

He held up a hand before his friend could finish and glanced around the group. "Anybody else thinking what I'm thinking?"

Mark crossed his arms. "I'm not sure if it's safe for anyone else to be thinking what you or Adrian might currently be thinking." But clearly Adrian had picked up on Tony's brainwave and Mark had a feeling he knew where this was going.

"Pick Up Line Challenge?" Brent offered.

"Who's got a piece of paper?" Tony demanded. "Let's see which ones we can remember."

"What are we competing for?" Jordan asked, already running some of the old lines through his mind.

"Which line gets the best reaction of course," Tony answered, scrawling them down as fast as he could think or someone could share them. "We'll bet one which we think will do that, and whoever wins gets...dinner bought by the rest of the married men?"

Others around the circle started nodding and Tony knew they were in. After half an hour they'd compiled an extensive list, which then had to be narrowed down to the top ten. All five guys voted on which one they thought would get the most memorable response from their wives and Mark added a criteria. "We need a time limit on this challenge. Like we have to use all ten lines on our girls within the next month, so by the end of April we'll have our winner."

Leaning back with a satisfied grin on his face, Tony spread his hands. "I'm thinking steak. Something nice and juicy and expensive. Ooh, or maybe lobster. Where is it you guys will be taking me?"

Between Jordan and Brent they flipped Tony's chair up so he landed flat on his back on the grass, four other faces looking down at him. "Who says you'll be the winner?"

Tony righted his chair. "Come on guys, who was the pick up king in college? I've already got a head start."

Mark snorted. "You're competing against newlyweds and a man married for a decade and a half, I think we've got a bit of a lead over you Big D."

"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say," Tony scoffed. "And the next thing they know they're buying me dinner."

Having had enough of his bragging, Adrian retrieved the waterguns that usually had a home in the back of Mark's vehicle, threw one to Mark, and they proceeded to thoroughly douse their helpless friend. They fistbumped when Tony was just a soggy, gaping mess and Brent chuckled. "Okay, so how are you going to explain that to your wife?"

Tony wiped the water out of his face and shook his head so drops of it flew off his hair. "Maybe I'll just use a pick up line instead, distract her from the questioning."

"It's Ziva, so I doubt that'll work, but good luck," Mark grinned.

Not too long after that they started packing things up and saying goodbye. Tony wait until all the others left before ducking into a public washroom and changing into different clothes. There was no way he wanted to tell Ziva the challenge they'd just agreed to. The next month and ten pick up lines to go through were going to be way too much fun to spoil it so soon.

**NCIS**

**Thursday March 24**

Since they never knew when EJ was going to be in the office, she was always showing up on different days and kept to no discernable schedule that the partners could see, Tony denied his natural impulse to run and hide whenever he saw her desk occupied and instead began taking the long way across the building and coming up in the back elevator, or traversing back and forth across floors and using different stairwells so he never had to come out of the one that would take him by her workspace.

It took a lot more thought and planning in the mornings, but avoiding more uncomfortable confrontations would be worth the effort. Sometimes Ziva took pity on him and simply went up first, texting him if the coast was clear. After only a couple days he lost the option of starting in the evidence garage and working his way up because Abby caught him both times and got way too curious when he didn't have a ready answer to her question of why he wasn't simply taking the main elevator up to their floor like normal. He'd have to be more cautious about people noticing from now on.

This day in particular was one on which the new girl had shown up, so Tony slunk quietly to his desk and tried not to draw any attention to himself. Before McGee could comment on the senior field agent's suspicious behaviour, Gibbs came in with the break they needed for the case that had opened yesterday. A new lead sent the entire team to question a friend who'd just popped up on their radar. Somehow he'd been alerted to their arrival and took off out the back door where he had to misfortune of running into Ziva, of all people, first. She leveled her weapon and spoke calmly, "NCIS. Stop where you are."

The guy snorted. "Not a chance lady," and took a swing at her head.

Other members of the team were slowly repositioning themselves around the yard to cut off escape routes, and even though their suspect was a trained soldier Gibbs made no move to intervene on her behalf. Nodding slightly, appreciating his confidence and the chance to put some of her new skills into action, Ziva attacked. Using some tricks that she'd picked up from Duke and a couple of moves Derek introduced recently, she had the man writhing on the ground in about five seconds flat.

Tony glanced surreptitiously at his other teammates, pleased to see that McGee and even Gibbs looked impressed. And because he couldn't claim her out loud, he caught his wife's eyes and grinned, silently gloating - _That's my ninja_.

He'd had similar thoughts that morning when she again surprised him with wake up sex, keeping up her end of the bribery deal since he'd taken her horseback riding last Saturday. The best part of the whole plan was that neither of them knew when the other would do something that qualified, and they also had no idea when payback would come. So far both halves of the couple were having a lot of fun with it.

With Ziva's gun now pointing a few inches south of the out-of-commission suspect's belt, he'd figured out it was a better idea to cooperate rather than fight. As she smiled victoriously and turned her head to look at them, her ponytail fell to the side revealing the new henna tattoo she'd gotten last night to replace the first that had worn off. A different symbol for strength had been chosen this time and though he was always proud of how strong his wife was, somehow seeing it there staining her skin made that pride stand out so much more. Ziva David-DiNozzo was an incredible woman and he was so lucky to be able to claim her as his.

_Replies:_

_Guest (MIT1) - Thank you :) That's very nice to hear. I'm so glad you're enjoying their story. It's so nice to know people are still reading from the beginning. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Guest - thank you :) I'm glad you think so. I've tried to give them a good relationship here. Beautiful is a great word, glad you see it that way. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Melissa - I'm glad to hear that. Yes, Tony is a very good man. Well...I don't really do fights. I grew up with a lot of fighting between my parents and as an adult I just can't see any good reason to fight with the person you're supposed to love. I always have a very hard time adding conflicts into the marriages I write because I can't come up with reasons for loving spouses to fight with each other. So you probably won't get one of those, sorry. Wow, re-reading all of MIT? That's quite the undertaking. But I'm glad you liked it that much :) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - I'm sure I'd be nervous if it was me. lol...I totally relate to your daughter, that's where I end up a lot of the time while I'm waiting to hear what people think. I wish her all the luck in the world with her writing, I know that dream :) What's her penname? I'm glad it felt real. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_


	48. MIT 48 - Part 1

_A/N: I love your questions guys but I've answered this one ad nauseam since the series started so this will be the very last time. Tony and Ziva's marriage will be revealed to the team in Part 7, which takes place after the explosion at the end of Season 9. No matter what hints you think are being given or what is going on in the story, that remains the same. That's how it has been planned since before the series was even written and will not be changing. Thank you ~Aliyah_

**Friday March 25**

A warehouse. Why did it have to be a warehouse? Tony had a bad feeling about it from the moment they opened the door, led in part by Ziva's reaction to the last one they'd searched - though that incident was a year ago now. Guns drawn and sighted the partners moved in tandem, covering each other's backs as they scanned separate sides of the building. There were huge crates stacked all over the vast concrete floor and they were looking for the one filled with explosives instead of legitimate goods. Only a quarter of the way in Tony and Ziva were forced to split up and she tapped his left shoulder to indicate her direction. Having so much ground to cover necessitated two teams, with Gibbs and McGee coming in from the rear.

A prickle on the back of her neck was Ziva's first indication that something wasn't right and she whirled around, firing before the movement stopped and sending a shoulder shot into the man aiming at her head. When he didn't have the good sense to stay down, she put a bullet in his thigh, knocked him out cold, and tucked his gun in the back of her pants. Even more vigilant now she slipped swiftly through the crates, her heart leaping into her throat when she heard the sound of grunts and fists connecting with flesh. Finding it difficult to determine where exactly the commotion was coming from because of the echo Ziva continued moving forward, her attention now divided on two fronts.

The fight grew louder but it was taking too long to find the source and all sorts of chilling scenarios flew through her mind. Finally she rounded one stack just in time to see Tony knocked to the ground by a staggering blow from the quick Asian man crouched in fighting stance. "Federal agent," Ziva spit out in a commanding tone. "Don't move." The assailant delivered a brutal kick to Tony's midsection, causing an exclamation of pain as he hunched over and wheezed, and turned on her. A gun appeared in his right hand, safety off. Ziva's finger tightened on the trigger of her weapon for the space of a breath, then she flicked her knife at him, watching in smug satisfaction as it buried up to the hilt in the man's throat and he crumpled to the ground.

Scooting the gun away, she fell to her knees beside her husband, ghosting her hands gently over his body to determine level of injury. Tony coughed, then groaned, keeping his eyes shut. "Guess the ninja moves haven't quite rubbed off on me as much as I thought," he rasped and Ziva cupped his bleeding cheek ever so gently.

"I am so sorry I was not here ahava," she whispered.

His hand came up to curl around hers. "You got here when I needed you."

The moment was broken when Gibbs and McGee appeared on the other side of the clearing. Gibbs took in the situation and glared. "Subdue does not mean kill Agent David."

She returned the stare with a dark look of her own. "He kicked my partner while he was down. It was better than he deserved." Ordinarily she preferred to avoid causing death, in this case she was more than willing to make an exception. Ziva gestured towards the front of the building. "I left one alive back there. He is unconscious."

Gibbs studied his senior field agent. "DiNozzo."

Tony finally opened his eyes and squinted. "There's two of you Boss."

The team leader adjusted his cap. "McGee, get an ambulance here."

Trying to sit up and failing on the first attempt, Tony shook his head. "M'fine." A cough tore through his chest and he spit blood on the floor.

"No, you're not."

Tony struggled to get upright and only managed because Ziva braced him from one side. "No hospital. Ducky'll be fine."

"Didn't ask for your opinion DiNozzo," Gibbs growled.

With a desperate look at his wife, Tony got her to plead his case. She knew better than anyone how he felt about hospitals. A check up was one thing, being admitted and having to spend time in one of those awful beds that would remind him of almost dying was something else entirely. Ziva's concerned gaze argued with his, wanting the kind of care doctors were trained for, but finally she sighed and gave in. "It could not hurt for Ducky to examine him Gibbs. If he thinks it is serious then we can go to Bethesda." She squeezed Tony's hand, promising to be with him if that option became necessary.

Gibbs was learning that his intimidation tactics had no effect on Ziva when it came to her partner. She played the mother bear very well, eyes flashing as she dared him to oppose her on this. "Fine," he ground out, motioning with his chin to McGee, "get him up."

With as much care as possible, Ziva and McGee hauled Tony to his feet, his winces and grunts of pain stabbing at her heart. She remained pressed into his side, one arm around his waist and his resting over her shoulder, her hand laying lightly on his stomach. McGee stayed close but didn't interfere with Ziva's determination to be what he needed, and against his desire Tony had to lean heavily on her for support as they shuffled slowly to the door. On scene to see to the body, Ducky offered to look at his injuries then but Tony waved him off, saying he could wait.

Her displeasure clear in crossed arms, Ziva almost refused Gibbs' order to sweep the warehouse one more time and confirm that there had only been two guards while they continued looking for the explosives. He stared her down and she stalked away with a curt, "Come on McGee."

Gibbs watched her go, then turned to Tony who was slumped in the backseat of one car. "Wanna tell me about that?" It had been several months since Tony's declaration of love for the Israeli-American and the older man had naively assumed that ignoring the issue would make it go away.

Tony didn't even bother opening his eyes. "I'd be the same if it was her." He'd seen Ziva beat up enough to last a lifetime. In spite of the pain, he was glad it had been him this time.

Well aware of the dynamics of this particular partnership after five years, Gibbs nonetheless couldn't help being suspicious. Celeste would probably tell him some things were inevitable and to mind his own business, but the way Ziva touched Tony had been so familiar and her protectiveness towards him...it was either nothing or something and he couldn't decide which. The situation would bear careful watching.

It was a couple hours later before they made it back to NCIS and Ziva's priority immediately became getting Tony to Ducky. Drained from the fight and loss of adrenaline Tony allowed the escort, but once inside when Ducky asked him to remove his shirt he cut his eyes to Ziva and the doctor nodded discretely, facing her with a smile. "Perhaps you could do me a favour my dear and find Mr. Palmer. I do hope he hasn't locked himself in the truck again. And if you wouldn't mind informing Abigail that samples will be delayed awhile as I have two patients to see to, I'd appreciate it."

Ziva did not like being dismissed, especially now, but refusing the older gentleman was next to impossible. Disguising her sigh, she smiled slightly. "Of course Doctor." With a last look at her partner Ziva disappeared through the doors and Ducky's curious expression warned Tony to tread carefully.

"I didn't take you for being shy Anthony."

Very slowly he undid the buttons on his shirt, but removing it was almost impossible with the stiffness and discomfort taking over his body. "I'm not usually Ducky." His undershirt came next with Ducky's assistance and he glanced down, seeing what he'd expected. "Zi-Ziva," he corrected quickly, "didn't need to know what this looks like."

The slip didn't go unnoticed by Ducky and the medical examiner began pressing gently on his torso to check for broken ribs and internal bleeding. Tony moaned at the force and Ducky met his eyes. "How bad?"

"Hurts," he managed. "Been awhile since I was in a fight like that." Michael came to mind and was quickly dismissed. He hadn't come close to dying this time even if it felt that way.

The exam continued until Ducky was confident Tony had suffered no lasting damage. "You'll have to take it easy for a few days. I'm afraid movement will come at a high price until your body heals."

"My couch is looking better all the time." Tony tried to smile but his face didn't appreciate the effort and he stopped.

Armed with antiseptic wipes, Ducky began cleaning the cuts on his patient's face. He was quiet for awhile, but then he couldn't keep it in any longer. "Forgive me for still being inquisitive my boy, however, I've asked you both before and I cannot help but wonder after some of what I've seen - are you and Ziva involved?" The younger man tensed and Ducky continued. "I promise nothing you say will go further than this room. And I've no cause to report to Jethro anything I hear."

For a moment Tony almost considered it, wondering again what it would be like to have one person at work who knew, with whom they could talk and didn't have to hide, but just as quickly he dismissed the temptation. All it would take was for Ducky to make a slip around Gibbs and their partnership, everything they'd worked so hard for, would be in jeopardy. Forcing a casual attitude Tony pushed off the table, nearly stumbling, and caught himself.

"Thanks for the help Ducky. I better go re-join the investigation. You know how Gibbs is." He decided against the undershirt and slipped his dress shirt over one arm. Since he couldn't get the other arm back far enough, the ME helped and he began to button it up. Once he looked as presentable as he was going to get he headed for the door.

"Just a moment," the older man requested. He went to his cabinet of supplies and came back with a small bottle of pills. "I want you to take these for a few days. You're going to be quite sore I'm afraid. But they're strong, so only one at a time."

Tony was already planning to pretend he hadn't heard those instructions. No way, no how was anyone going to get him to take heavy duty painkillers at work where he might start blabbing about loving Ziva to anyone who would listen. He was extremely lucky it hadn't happened last time. Tylenol wouldn't even take the edge off, but that's what he'd have to stick to until they went home. "Sure. See you around Doc."

Eyeing the man's exit with interest, Ducky shook his head. "I believe in your quest to say nothing you have already answered my question Anthony."

If Tony had any energy left, he would've jumped when the elevator doors slid open and Ziva was leaning in the corner, arms folded across her chest. He sighed and stepped inside, pressing the button for the squadroom. The next instant Ziva flipped the emergency stop switch. "Why did you have Ducky send me out?" she demanded.

He slumped against the wall. "I'm too tired to fight with you Zi."

Her irritated stance softened and she drew close, running a hand lightly down his back. "I am not trying to fight," she said quietly. "But Tony, you knew how concerned I was. Why did you not let me stay?"

Tony took her hand and pressed it to his cheek regardless of how tender the skin was. "Gibbs is already smelling something fishy because of how you acted at the warehouse." He flexed his shoulders and winced. "Ducky actually asked me if we were involved. Your reactions alone are going to give everything away."

Ziva bristled at the accusation. "If things were reversed-"

"I'd be the exact same way, maybe even worse," he interrupted. "But unless you're ready now to end the charade, you need to dial back the concern."

She was afraid that anywhere she touched him would hurt, so Ziva settled for tracing his ring finger gently. "Not yet," she admitted. "Perhaps when it has been a year since I became a citizen. I know you are right, but it is not as easy to pretend in this case."

Tony rested his forehead on hers but winced at the discomfort and pulled back. "I know babe. Just hold it together a few more hours, okay? It's a really good thing today is Friday."

Ziva blinked back tears and her lips settled gently on his, barely a whisper of a touch. "Yes."

Gibbs was in a rare compassionate mood when they got back to the bullpen and ordered Tony to desk duty but gave him no tasks, freeing him to take is easy for the last part of the day. Less than twenty minutes later the agent felt his head getting fuzzy, and as the last of his lucidity disappeared he had the strong sense that he'd been tricked. That 'antibiotic' shot Ducky gave him earlier... He pounded his fist on the desk. "The fiend! That wasn't a precaution, that was painkillers!"

Since the man appeared to be talking to himself, McGee looked over. "What was that Tony?"

His eyes getting slightly glazed, Tony swivelled to stare at his co-worker. "Mind your own beeswax Probie Nosy. You don't see me eavesdropping on your conversations."

McGee rolled his eyes. At least this Tony was normal, not like the one they'd found on the floor in the warehouse. He'd been pretty concerned this time, it had been awhile since anyone on the team was seriously injured. Thank goodness that wasn't a more regular occurrence. "Yeah, because you and yourself were being so discreet over there."

Tony glanced beside him and frowned. "Are you seeing double? No one over here but us chickens." At his friend's blank expression he sighed. "_Nightingales_? 90s British comedy show? Nothing? Fine, but it was brilliant and you're missing out."

Ignoring him seemed to be the best way to avoid continuing the discussion, so Tim focused back on his work. It wasn't long though before Tony propelled himself over in his chair. "Wheee!"

From her desk Ziva snickered but all McGee could think was, _Not again_.

For almost a whole minute the man remained quiet though he stared unnervingly, without blinking, at what his co-worker was doing. Then Tony's attention was drawn across the bullpen and he leaned closer to McGee. "Ziva's beautiful, isn't she?" It was clear he thought he was confiding in Tim, but in reality his whisper was loud enough that everyone could hear.

_Oh brother_. McGee decided to humour him, hoping that would be the end of it. "Yes, she is."

The senior agent leaned his elbow on the desk, propping his chin on one hand. "She has the most gorgeous hair." Gibbs walked by and Tony gazed at his partner like a lovesick teenager. "Doesn't she have beautiful hair Boss?"

McGee snorted, then explained when Gibbs' face demanded an answer. "I think Ducky gave him something for the pain."

Gibbs ignored Tony's observation and Ziva was steadfastly pretending not to hear, but for some reason the non-reactions only encouraged him. "Feels like silk on my fingers," he mumbled, and her eyebrows shot up. "I like it curly the best."

The team leader aimed his glare at her but she shrugged helplessly and shook her head like 'what am I supposed to do about him?'

Tony continued rambling, but interrupted himself mid-monologue when he heard the ding of the elevator. "Ooh, popcorn's ready. Who's hungry?"

McGee smirked and Ziva raised her gaze to the ceiling as if appealing for help. What they needed was a good way to shut him up.

Several minutes later Gibbs went for coffee and Tony announced to the general public that it was time for a bathroom break. "Think you can find it on your own Tony?" McGee teased, though it went over his teammate's loopy head.

Ziva pushed away from her desk. "I will see that he gets there McGee."

The probie knew better than to push his luck with the former assassin, especially when she wore that expression. He actually felt a little sorry for Tony as she guided him away. The man had no idea how much trouble he was about to be in.

After a quick check of the men's room she locked them in and waited for Tony to finish his business, singing all the while. Once he washed his hands at her reminder and provided a commentary about the fascination of soap bubbles, Ziva crowded his space and kissed him. He sighed dreamily, wearing the look of a guy with his first crush, and she smiled indulgently, her fingers playing through the back of his hair. "I love you Anthony, but you have to stop talking or everyone will know our secret."

He placed a finger to his lips. "Secret. Shh."

"Yes," Ziva confirmed. "Shush. Now how about I buy you a chocolate bar and you sit silently at your desk until we go home. Can you do that?"

Tony glanced from side to side to see if any invisible people were listening. "No talking?"

"No talking." She felt like she was negotiating with a three year old. It was an amusing quandary.

He kissed her again, rather enthusiastically for on work time. "You taste like vanilla."

Ziva eyed him sternly. "You most certainly are not allowed to say that!"

"But...but it tastes good!"

"Oy vey iz mir," she muttered. "Just be quiet until we leave, please?"

Tony gave her a half-grin. "You asked nicely!"

"I hope that means yes." They took the long way around, past Interrogation to the breakroom where she paid for two candy bars and also brought a bottle of water back to his desk, hoping to keep his mouth occupied for awhile so they could both stay under the radar.

Unfortunately Tony's personality made it impossible for him to not talk for hours at a time, so they were treated to a lecture on films with injured main characters who still took out the bad guys, and had to listen while he expounded on the health benefits of chocolate, among other things. Thankfully the team was able to call it quits early for a change and Gibbs stopped beside Ziva as she zipped up her coat. "Take him home David." Her eyebrows rose and he huffed. "His home. Ducky says he needs a babysitter overnight. Not like I can stop you anyways." He strode away and the couple exchanged apprehensive glances, as the drugs had worn off enough that Tony realized the ramifications of what had been said. Apparently they were not doing a very good job of hiding how they felt after all.

**NCIS**

At home Ziva helped him inside and Tony eased onto the couch, feeling every bruise and ache. His eyes slid closed and she walked away, leaving him alone for a minute. He was falling asleep when a light weight landed on his chest and peeked an eye open to see Meira looking at him. "Hi girl." Tony coughed and wheezed, petting her head as soon as he could breathe again. "You worried about me too?" Her tongue flicked out and caught his chin and he managed a smile. "Thanks."

Ziva returned with a heating pad, ice packs for his swollen knuckles, one of the heavy duty pain pills from the bottle Ducky had provided earlier, and a warm cloth that she draped over his forehead. Her gaze slid across his battered face while he swallowed the drug without complaint, hurting badly enough not to care that he'd be acting like an idiot again soon if he didn't fall asleep. "Can I get you anything?"

He shook his head slightly, which only served to aggravate the headache. "No thanks."

"I could make tea," she suggested. "What do you want for supper? There is-"

Tony squeezed her knee. "No supper Zi, thanks. I just want to stay right here for awhile."

"You should have a bath," she fretted. "It will help with the soreness."

One eye cracked open. "Will you be joining me?"

She frowned. "You are injured. I do not think that is a good idea."

"There goes my motivation for leaving the couch," Tony joked, but her worry wore him down. "Maybe later."

As anxious as she was to help in some way, to atone for what she saw as her failure to have his back, Ziva recalled how patient he'd been during her long healing process and nodded, resolving to do the same. "Okay. Rest my love." She lifted the cloth just enough to press a tiny kiss to his forehead and retreated to the office, both to give Tony some space and work through her own turmoil, since he should not have to deal with that on top of having been beaten.

A rather therapeutic half hour with her journal had Ziva slightly less tense and she came out to find Tony fast asleep in the same position where she'd left him. Needing to stay busy she went to work in the kitchen, finishing dishes that had been neglected the last couple days, scrubbing the fridge, stove, microwave, coffee pot, and counter, at last settling down to cook. Despite what Tony had said about not wanting supper, Ziva started homemade pitas and whipped together a batch of chocolate chip cookies while her dough was rising. Then, slowly, she began preparations for making shakshuka, knowing he favoured the dish.

Out of everything, the cookies were what pulled Tony back to wakefulness. He sighed heavily and the sound brought her running to his side where a soft hand was placed on his cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Something smells good," he murmured.

Ziva worked her fingers into his hair and he leaned into her touch like a cat. "I made dinner, are you hungry?"

Tony suppressed a chuckle. She clearly hadn't been listening when he said he didn't want a meal. The effort triggered a cough that had him clutching at his abused torso. Her expression grew pained and her hands slid down to cover his. "Oh ahava. What can I do?"

His eyebrows rose slightly. "Dessert?" She opened her mouth to protest but he took her hand and brushed a kiss to the backs of her fingers. "Please?"

"That is not playing fair," Ziva whispered, standing up. It was impossible to say no to her husband in this state. She came back with still warm cookies on a plate and broke one apart, feeding it to him piece by piece and chasing the treat down with a gentle kiss.

"Much better," Tony smiled, wincing when it pulled at his split lip.

Noticing that he didn't keep his eyes open very long, she rubbed her thumb ever so gently across the darkening bruise underneath. "Are you still seeing double?"

He blinked and made a face. "Mmm...enough to know two women in my life is one too many." Both Zivas arched an eyebrow and he quickly blocked them out. "Not as bad as before. More like taking the glasses off at a 3D movie."

"Everything is movies, hm?" Ziva couldn't seem to stop touching him. She hated seeing him this way. "Can I interest you in that bath now? Or would you prefer to try some food first?"

The cookie hadn't settled well and his stomach rolled. "Ixnay on food Zi, but I'll take a bath."

"Good." She went to start the water, setting it hotter than usual because heat would help his muscles relax, and scattered epsom salts liberally into the tub. Laying out towels and a wash cloth, as well as shampoo, conditioner, and body wash, occupied some time but not enough. So Ziva chose loose, comfortable pyjamas for her husband, turned down the lights and lit several candles, placing them around the room. The soothing glow made her smile as she shut the faucet off and came back for her husband.

Tony was already sitting up, but tense and hunched over from the effort, and she clucked her tongue. It took a bit of maneuvering to get him on his feet, but they managed and made their way to the bathroom. Though he was grateful for the dim light, before he could find the words to stop her Ziva began unbuttoning his shirt and when her breath hitched he knew candlelight wasn't faint enough to hide the evidence of his earlier encounter. Her fingers skimmed over his chest and abdomen, cataloguing every bruise, discolouration, and mark. Her eyebrows drew together and Ziva shot him an unimpressed look.

"That is why you would not let me stay while Ducky examined you."

Tony hoped honestly would save him this time and nodded. "I had a pretty good idea of how bad it would look."

Her shoulders sagged. "I should have been there."

He tipped her chin up. "Risk of the job Zi. It happens to all of us at some point." His thumb caressed her cheekbone. "You weren't here last time I was injured either, but you are now."

"Do you blame me?" Ziva had tried very hard not to make this about her, but that was one answer she needed to know.

Tony lowered his head, his mouth hovering a mere breath away from hers. "No," he whispered forcefully, bringing their lips together for a too brief, too light kiss when both wanted more. Half-naked and in an intimate setting his body reacted lazily to her nearness, but no physical activity or stress relief was possible tonight. Stepping away, he did the pants himself but let Ziva pull off his socks. With the way she was looking at him he had to think twice about the next step, and in the end sank into the water still wearing his boxer shorts.

Ziva covered a smile and tried to hide her amusement. "If those needed to be washed so badly we could've done laundry tomorrow."

He glared and caught her hand. "Get in here."

She eyed him skeptically. "I did not know that was part of the bargain."

Tony ground his teeth. "Take off your clothes and get in the tub Zi, that's as close as I can get to you tonight."

Giving in, Ziva undressed and slid down behind him, folding her arms across his collarbone and just holding him. Tony reached up to stroke along her forearm and she pressed her lips to his temple. They stayed like that, saying nothing for a long time as hot water heat soaked into his aching muscles and his wife's presence soothed away some of his discomfort. In the flickering light of half a dozen tiny flames, Tony finally began to relax.

Eventually she tilted her head and began planting tiny, soft kisses down his neck to his shoulder. Though he knew she didn't mean it as a way to start anything, his body couldn't tell the difference. "Hon," he forced out through a tight throat, "can you uh...take a break?" The last thing Tony wanted was to discourage her open displays of affection, but this counted as an extenuating circumstance.

Ziva smiled against his skin and he could easily imagine the gleam in her eyes. "Are you sure about that tesoro?" He groaned and she relented. "Very well. But I will remember this next time."

"Hey," Tony argued weakly, "show a little mercy. I'm the victim here."

Her arms tightened around him. "I know." For a heartbeat she didn't move or breathe, then he was pushed forward gently so a soft, bubble laced cloth could be drawn over his back. It remained relatively unscathed, except for a large red mark where he'd hit the ground, which would still likely feel quite sore tomorrow. Ziva shimmied gracefully out from behind him and knelt between his legs to wash his chest, adjusting the pressure she applied by the pain reflected in his face.

He would be black and blue tomorrow, it was already beginning, and Ziva's bottom lip snuck between her teeth while she ran the cloth down his arms, one of her few worry tells. Tony lifted one hand to ease it free and she smiled slightly. Sensitive to his predicament regarding necessary abstinence, though that didn't stop him from gazing appreciatively at all of her bare skin that was visible, she used the cloth no lower on his stomach than the waistband of his underwear and no higher on his legs than where the shorts clung.

When she finished Ziva inched forward, holding his face between her hands, and brushed her lips over his. Automatically Tony's arms came around her back and he pulled her into him. The next instant he hissed and grunted and Ziva moved away as if burned. Tony sucked in air, bracing his hands on the bottom of the tub, and waited for his body to stop smarting. He blew out a long breath. "Sorry. Habit."

"My fault," Ziva countered. "I do not seem to make a very good nurse after all."

Tony intertwined their fingers. "You are a fantastic nurse. Too bad you didn't have the outfit to go with that title."

She snorted and rolled her eyes. "I am not playing dress up with you."

He wound a curl around his finger. "S'okay. I like the undressing part better anyways."

Her gaze shadowed. "Yes, I am aware." But if he felt as bad as he looked, they would not be expressing their love through that kind of intimacy for a few days at least. Not that she needed to mention that now. Another minute passed and Ziva let her fingers trail ever so lightly over his cheek. "Would you like to get out now?"

Tony leaned his head back, his eyes slipping closed. "Actually, I kinda think the water is helping. I might stay in for a bit." He settled his hand on her hip. "Why don't you go and get something to eat? I'm sure I'll be fine here." He could feel her reluctance before she spoke a word and he pre-empted her concern. "I won't go anywhere, I promise."

She stared at him, chewing on the inside of her cheek. "Well, if you promise."

"Scout's-" he began, but she shushed him with her lips, just a gentle peck.

"Alright." Standing up carefully, Ziva got out and wrapped herself securely in a towel, then drained about a third of the tub, filling it back up with much hotter water. "If you need anything..."

"I'll call," Tony murmured, trying to hold onto the relaxing warmth as the water cradled his battered body.

Even if her preference was remaining with him, Ziva knew she needed to take care of herself so she could do the same for her husband. As much as she would've preferred to rush through her meal to get back to his side, she made herself slowly eat a normal sized portion of shakshuka and crept to the bathroom door to check on him. When Tony still seemed to be absorbing the effects of the bath she detoured to the office for some heart to heart outpouring into her journal. As she was capping the pen Meira wandered into the room with her leash and Ziva sighed, sinking to the floor in front of her.

"I am sorry motek, we have paid very little attention to you tonight. Let us check with Tony, but I am sure he can manage without us for a quick walk around the block." Together they entered the candlelit room, not drawing any notice from the man in the bathtub until Meira whined.

He cracked open one eye. "Spying on me ladies?"

Ziva stepped further inside. "Think of it as friendly surveillance."

Meira nudged him with her nose, a pink tongue flicking out at his cheek. Tony chuckled. "You don't have to worry about me pretty girl. I've been hurt worse than this before." He paused. "Can't think of any right now, but..."

She shook her head. "Did you just quote_ Pocahontas_?"

His eyebrows rose, an action he immediately regretted. "Did you just recognize one of my movie quotes?" Ziva just kept looking at him and he sighed. "Well, it almost made you smile."

A feather-light kiss was pressed to his temple. "We will be right back."

"I'll be right here." _E.T._, he thought, not bothering to mention that one. Once the door closed he sat up, grunting and groaning as he bent forward to top up his hot water. True to her word Ziva was back withing fifteen minutes and she sat on the edge of the tub to pull the stopper out of the drain. "You are going to be all wrinkly."

He lifted and examined his fingertips. "Yup. But it was nice while it lasted."

Trying to figure out how best to get him out without causing more pain, she wrapped her hands around his upper arm, taking his much of his weight as she could in order to support him to an upright position. Tony moved very gingerly, aware what a slip would cost him, and soon he was back on dry ground, a towel tucked low over his hips. A glance at the bathtub had Ziva frowning and at his questioning expression she gestured to the shampoo bottle. "I forgot to do your hair."

He took a moment to imagine the sensation of her fingers massaging his scalp and offered a half-smile. "Maybe tomorrow." She picked up a smaller piece of terrycloth to dry him with, but Tony anticipated the pain it would bring and waved her away. "I think I'll just air dry tonight."

Ziva ran her fingers lightly over his left forearm, introspective for a long moment before she spoke. "I'm sorry I never asked. How badly did Michael hurt you?"

His hand covered hers. "Fractured radius. I wore the sling for four weeks, light duty at six, wasn't allowed back to do full fieldwork until two weeks after that."

Like he had done for so many of hers, she bent her head and pressed her lips carefully to the healed bone. "We bear the same scars ahava," she whispered, touching her own left arm. It had been broken in the camp and still occasionally ached when the weather changed, but she'd forgotten he hurt the same one.

"When two become one," Tony murmured, his lips against her hair.

They stood close together in the dim bathroom until the water evaporated from their bodies and Ziva blew out the candles, collecting them back on the counter. Next stop was their room and a wave of exhaustion swamped Tony. He slumped in the chair and let Ziva dress him in linen pants and a shirt that made him think of old fashioned desert wear or something out of _Lord of the Rings_, but they were picked for comfort rather than style and he appreciated not being constricted. Finding a tolerable position in bed required care and effort, but Tony was still disappointed when Ziva lay down an entire foot away after bringing him another dose of the medication from Ducky and making sure he took it.

He made a face. "Am I diseased or something now?"

"We are like magnets Tony, unable to stay apart while sleeping. I am merely trying to escape the pull, since any contact we might have would be very uncomfortable for you."

Tony practically pouted. "I feel like I'm in time out and I didn't even do anything wrong."

"I could always sleep on the couch," Ziva offered.

"No," he was quick to say, grabbing her hand. "That would be entirely unacceptable." They had an unspoken agreement that no one got exiled to the couch regardless of mood or behaviour and he wasn't about to let her start now.

"Okay," she acquiesced easily. "Go to sleep Tony, I will be here."

That wasn't hard as his body had already begun to shut down and Tony drifted off before he could even say 'I love you'. Ziva read it in his gaze and tried to calm herself, but scenes from the fight crowded her mind and made the task difficult. As if he could sense her struggle, Tony's thumb caressed hers where he still held her hand and peace found her at last.

**NCIS**

"I'm coming to DC," Celeste blurted out the minute he answered the phone.

Gibbs' eyebrows rose. "What's the occasion?" He hadn't expected to hear from her tonight. Though he didn't know it, Celeste had noticed that he sometimes called more often than just his scheduled turn and had decided it was time she do the same and call just because she wanted to talk to him and not because it was part of their twice weekly agreement.

She wrapped the cord around her fingers and flopped on her bed, sighing. "I'm homesick. I want to be there for the cherry blossom festival. I miss everything about DC in the spring. LA is nice, but it's the same season all year long."

He glanced at his calendar. "It starts tomorrow." Not that he'd put it past her to jump on a plane with only hours notice.

"I know. But I checked online already. The peak bloom period isn't until early next week. I think I'll fly in on Tuesday and stay until Saturday. I want to see the fireworks that night and soak in the atmosphere."

Gibbs blew the shavings off the wooden rook taking shape under his carving knife and his heart sped up at the thought of seeing her again after three years apart. "I could be persuaded to follow you around for a couple hours while you look."

"Is that so?" Celeste smiled. "I thought you'd have to be working."

"Nah. They know better than to ask when I leave. Except DiNozzo. But he never gets an answer."

"Don't be mean Jethro."

"Keeps them wondering. If I'm ever not an enigma to my team, it's time to retire."

"Like you'll ever do that," she countered. "You love the job too much."

Gibbs was beginning to think about a couple other things he could love, if he gave himself the chance. "I'll even take you to dinner before the fireworks. You remember that old place where we met?"

"Please, don't tell me that relic is still around. My years of waiting tables to make ends meet, thankfully, are behind me."

"I don't know," he teased. "You looked pretty cute in that uniform."

"Time to change the subject," Celeste warned.

"Can't. You didn't answer my question."

"There was no question mark on the end of the offer."

He rolled his eyes. She just had to be difficult about it. "How about dinner next Saturday?"

"Yes," she replied quietly. "Dinner would be lovely, thank you."

"Maybe you can cash in that rain check I owe you while we wait for the festivities to start." Truthfully, he'd been looking forward to paying that one for a long time.

A neck rub from her ex-husband while he knelt behind her on a blanket in the cool night air of early April? If that didn't send her heart skittering in all the wrong directions, Celeste didn't know what would. "Maybe." Her voice was nearly a whisper and she wasn't sure she had any real intention of taking him up on the suggestion. Not until something was decided between them. A tug of war would only make old wounds bleed and they'd been healed for too long to go through that again. "I'll call you when I get in."

"You could drop by and say hi, give the team something to talk about." Gibbs would pay a lot to see Tony's eyes bug out if Celeste showed up at the office again.

"I am not encouraging this glee you get out of tormenting them," Celeste chided. "However, if you have any good stories since Monday I'd love to hear them."

Gibbs swirled his cooling tea around in the bottom of the mug and thought over the last few days. "Funny you should ask. Today was supposed to be fairly uneventful - search a warehouse and find the one crate of explosives buried in a hundred others. But as always, something came up."

Celeste settled back to listen to the story knowing she didn't really care what it was about, she just wanted to hear the sound of his voice for however long it lasted.

**NCIS**

**Saturday March 26**

Being injured definitely qualified Tony for being able to sleep in. For awhile Ziva just lay on her side studying him, trailing her fingers through his hair and being so thankful his injuries weren't worse, but she eventually got up and put together a casserole that would work for late breakfast or early lunch. While that was cooking Ziva wandered into the office with their red leather address and phone book. She sat in the corner chair for a long time debating her next move, then finally went ahead and dialed. As it rang she stood and wandered to the sliding doors, looking out at a beautiful sunny day.

When the upbeat voice answered she had to smile. "Hello Mr. DiNozzo, this is Ziva." She withheld the last name, too tempted to use her married one.

"Ziva!" Senior sounded surprised and overjoyed all at the same time. "Such a pleasure to hear from you. Does NCIS need me for another case?"

She chuckled. "No actually, this call is more personal than business."

"Going to take me up on my dinner offer?" He'd left the invitation with the flowers he'd sent the day of their undercover assignment, which she'd not mentioned to her husband since he was already upset enough about the situation.

"You know I can't do that."

"Then what?" the charismatic man probed.

Ziva rubbed her forehead. "Tony was injured yesterday." Before he could speak she continued. "He will be alright. He is hurt but not so badly a hospital stay was required."

"Oh." Senior's breath whooshed out. "I'm relieved to hear that. Thank you for letting me know Ziva. I'm certain Tony wouldn't have thought of it." He hesitated. "Does Anthony know you're doing this?"

"No," Ziva admitted, "but I thought you should be aware."

"Thank you," he said sincerely. "I haven't been part of my son's life in too long, but that's going to change now. In fact, I've been trying to change it since Christmas."

Ziva weighed how much to share, aware of the need to tread carefully. "Tony mentioned that you called. Did he ever...return the message?"

Senior sighed. "He tried to, once, but we've only been catching each other's voicemails." He paused before voicing a request. "I probably shouldn't ask Ziva, but do you know of a time he's certain to be alone when I could get ahold of my son?"

Again Ziva wasn't sure where the line was between interfering and helping. Finally she shared slowly, "Sunday evenings are fairly safe I believe. He never speaks of having plans that night." And since they spent most Sunday evenings on their couch or in bed she knew he was available, just not if the call would be welcome despite what his New Year's Resolutions list said.

"I'll try that. I know it's walking a fine line of loyalty to your partner, so I appreciate the information."

"Have a nice day."

"You as well."

Ziva hung up and stared at the phone, hoping that had been the right decision. Checking the timer on the stove, she snapped her fingers for Meira and put on a long spring coat over her pyjamas to take her for a brisk walk around the neighbourhood. It was a lovely temperature out and both DiNozzo ladies quite enjoyed themselves. When they got back the food stayed in the oven to keep warm and Ziva sat propped up by pillows on the bed reading one of her new books.

Not long after that Tony stirred, his arm sliding automatically towards her side, but he'd barely moved when the pain hit him like a freight train and he was quickly made aware of every cut, every bruise, everywhere it ached and smarted. He let out a groan. "Terrible way to wake up."

Ziva went to his side immediately with a pain pill and glass of water. Without opening his eyes he sucked enough up the straw to swallow and grimaced. "Hope that kicks in pretty fast." Tony finally looked at her. "Are you my guardian angel?"

She ghosted a hand over his chest. "I was a little too late to qualify for that position." Her lips brushed lightly over his. "Would you like something to eat?"

The question took more consideration than usual. "That requires moving, right?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

A thought hit him and he frowned, regretting the expression when his face protested. "Dang it. I had something planned for us today."

Her eyebrow jumped up. "Did you?" If so, he'd been good about not giving anything away. She hadn't even suspected.

Tony nodded. "You asked for spectacular, I've been trying to come up with something that fits. Rockclimbing was high up on my list."

"I am quite fond of rockclimbing," she smiled.

"I know," he sulked.

Ziva kissed him lightly. "We can go some other time. I am very pleased you thought of it."

"I'd rather do that than this," Tony grumbled, attempting to push himself into a sitting position but giving up when his body protested strongly. "I feel like I've been run over by a bus."

"I could bring you breakfast in bed," she offered, anxious to help.

He squeezed her hand and laid his head back. "Spending the day in bed when reasons don't include you and me and no clothes holds little appeal. Just give the painkillers a few more minutes to start working and I'll try again."

Because she could think of nothing that would make him feel better, Ziva stayed quietly by his side, her long fingers running gracefully through his hair until he got a goofy smile on his face and sighed happily. "You have magic fingers."

Amused that painkillers had such an altering effect on him, she let her touch drift down the side of his face. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh good. I'm good." His stomach growled and Tony frowned down at it. "Shh tummy, don't be rude."

"Would you like to try getting up again?"

His eyes rose to the ceiling. "Am I laying down?"

Ziva stifled a laugh. "Yes ahava. But breakfast is waiting if we can make it to the kitchen."

"Love!" Tony announced. "Love, love, love. You love me, that's why you call me that."

She patted his chest. "I love you very much. Come on." With her assistance Tony managed a sitting position and after a whole lot of thought consisting of him staring at his feet as if that would compel them to move, the couple made their way to the table. Once she saw him safely settled on a chair, Ziva pulled the pan from the oven and scooped out two portions, warming them a little more in the microwave since the process of getting him out of bed had taken longer than anticipated.

Tony eagerly dug in but after a few bites he inspected the casserole suspiciously, poking at a piece of green with his fork. "Did you put healthy in here?"

She rolled her eyes. "You are not Adrian Tony. Usually a little bit of healthy is not a problem."

"Zippy doesn't eat green."

It suddenly seemed like a long morning stretching out before them if he was going to be like this the whole time. "Eat your food."

Making a face, he followed orders quietly and a little sullenly this time. When his plate was clean he looked up hopefully. "Dessert?"

Ziva blinked. "Dessert does not usually come with lunch."

Tony pouted. "I'm an adult. I can have dessert when I want."

Resisting the urge to tease him about his facial expression contradicting his words, she conceded the point and warmed a few cookies for them to share. "Would you like to watch a movie?"

"_Fight Club_," he decided instantly and Ziva couldn't help but notice the irony. His brow furrowed as he studied his bruised and scabbing over knuckles. "Guess I lost."

"This time," she said softly. "But you gave it your best shot."

Tony talked all the way through the first half of the movie, regaling her with trivia and anecdotes she'd heard many times before. Then one particular scene caught his attention and from that moment until the credits rolled all she heard was silence. The pain medicine was definitely wearing off by the end, Ziva could tell just by how focused his gaze was when he finally looked at her again. "Hate to admit it, but I'm really feeling like crap."

"Oh tesoro." She swept her lips over his lightly, still mindful of the cut on his bottom one, but Tony wouldn't let her pull away. His hand cupped the side of her face and she indulged him in a longer kiss. "It is a shame kissing it better only works for children."

He quirked a half-grin. "I don't know babe, that felt pretty good to me."

Ziva scrutinized his face. He looked exhausted. "Are you ready for a nap?"

"Ugh. What am I, an old man now?"

"Hardly."

Tony rested his head back on the cushion. "I don't want to sleep the whole day away."

"Rest is how you heal," she intoned wisely and he remembered the frightening amount of time she'd slept upon returning home from the desert.

"Maybe I'll just stretch out on the couch for a bit," he compromised. "And I think I need-"

"Another pill? I will get it."

Once he'd swallowed the dose and Ziva helped him adjust his position to be somewhat comfortable, she glanced across the room at Meira. "She has been very patient today and we were out for such a short time this morning. Will you be okay here if we go for a run?"

Tony nodded slowly. "Yup. I promise I won't move from this spot."

She placed a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I will hold you to that."

He spent the time while he was alone in the house drifting in and out of consciousness, completely unaware of the passage of time. Ziva found her husband completely passed out when she returned and indulged in a hot shower before turning her attention to dinner preparations. Tony didn't even stir until she pulled a try out of the oven, then he groaned and sniffed the air. "I smell garlic bread."

Coming around to stand by the end of the couch, Ziva smiled fondly. "We are having Italian tonight."

Tony grinned lazily. "Am I being spoiled?"

"Definitely."

The house phone rang and it was so unusual to receive calls on it that they exchanged questioning glances before she picked it up. "DiNozzo residence." Tony loved when she said that and claimed his name as if they were one person. Ziva listened and then her mouth fell open. "The family dinner was today?" Her eyes flew to the calendar where the date was circled in red. "Oh Cassie, I am so sorry. Something happened at work yesterday and our focus has been on little else. Please pass on our apologies to the others, especially the children." She looked at her husband, mouthing 'basketball?' and he nodded once. "Yes, of course. We will come tomorrow. Again, we are so sorry our minds were slippery. Thank you. Shalom."

Ziva hung up and Tony was trying not to choke on suppressed laughter. "The saying is 'it slipped our minds' not 'our minds are slippery'." He closed his eyes, wiping tears from the corner. "Where do you come up with this stuff?" The humour was almost worth how his ribs protested, but not quite.

She scowled and crossed her arms. "Ata ma'vi li et hajanana." _You are annoying me._

"Yeah?" Tony retorted. "Well...harahefet sheli mele'ah betzlofahim." _My hovercraft is full of eels._

Ziva tried not to smile, then a laugh escaped and finally she dropped onto the arm of the couch, thoroughly amused. "Where did you find that?"

He shrugged. "Aunt Nettie gave it to me, for a time I wanted to make you smile." His gaze traced her lips. "Looks like it worked."

"Extra points for being sweet," she murmured, kissing his cheek. "Can you make it to the table to eat?"

Tony didn't look entirely certain about the answer, the second day was always the worst, but with his wife's support he prevailed. After supper, she'd gone all out with the Italian theme, he leaned back in the chair. "I think I'm done in babe. Sorry I'm such a wet blanket today."

Ziva rolled her eyes as she cleared their plates. "I think you have a very valid excuse." Her gaze flickered to the bathroom. "I think perhaps another hot, epsom salt bath would be a good idea before you go to bed. You will appreciate it for the soreness, and I can wash your hair."

Giving in because of the concern hanging heavy in her eyes, Tony agreed and she ran the bath for him while starting on the dishes from their meal. She let him soak for a good long while, then came in and knelt by the tub to very gently shampoo his hair. The touch of her fingers and gentle massage of his head was sheer bliss and he wished it was possible to fall asleep right there. But the bath wasn't the best place to nap so he forced his eyes to stay open until he was out, dried, dressed, and under the covers (moving very slowly from the pain and stiffness), then he was sorely losing the battle.

Ziva stretched out beside him. "Should I wake you at eleven for more medication?" She wanted to ensure a peaceful rest for her husband as much as possible.

Tony shook his head. "No thanks. If I'm sleeping leave me be. It'll be getting up in the morning that I'll need the pill for."

"There is no rush for tomorrow morning. We do not need to be at the park until two."

He gestured to his bruised and cut face. "Wish the kids didn't have to see this."

Her smile was faint. "You will be their hero for fighting bad guys. Even Batman bore the marks from his battles."

One eyebrow raised. "Ziva David, did you just compare me to Batman?"

She chuckled. "I guess I did."

"That is a high compliment." He yawned. "And on that note, sleep is calling my name."

Ziva pressed a tiny kiss on his brow. "Rest well my love." She closed the door and returned to the kitchen to finish cleaning up. She sincerely hoped tomorrow was better than today, it was extremely hard to see him in this state.


	49. MIT 49 - Part 2

**Sunday March 27**

Tony had begged out of basketball practice due to his injuries and spent a pleasurable couple hours with his head resting in Ziva's lap and her fingers running through his hair while the rest of the guys darted around on the court, kids and dogs barked and laughed and played, and the ladies sat talking on the other side of Ziva. Their conversation ranged from cute kid stories to interesting customer service experiences, through shopping and travel, touching on dreams and serious issues, and finally ending up on 'remember when' incidents, which was far too many topics for Tony to follow even without being drugged up. Despite his wife's protests he'd refused to take any painkillers to cover their time at the park. Making that mistake once in college had been enough to know that he did not plan on providing his fraternity brothers with any more blackmail material than they already had from over fifteen years of friendship.

When at last the guys dried off, changed shirts, and returned to their girls, Mark flopped down in front of Cassie and across from Tony, studying the damage. "Someone get the drop on you D?"

Tony knew the question would come up sooner or later, their reactions hadn't been well hidden when he and Ziva arrived. Especially Adrian's shocked, "Dude, what happened?" Thankfully the kids had taken at face value his explanation about getting hurt while catching bad guys, though McKenna insisted on kissing his forehead to make it better. Not much melted his heart as fast as that little girl. "Pretty even match until I got up close and personal with the floor." He grinned very carefully, hoping the scab on his lip held together. "But you should see the other guy."

Adrian laughed. "Sent him to the hospital, did you Dynamo?"

Listening for little voices and determining they were far enough away not to hear. "The uh, morgue actually." He locked eyes with Ziva. "No one messes with the ninja's partner."

Aware of Ziva's more sensitive conscience since Somalia, Cassie put her hand on her friend's arm in sympathy and Mark redirected the subject. "I still think you looked worse when we went at it."

Ziva's eyebrows shot up and she glanced from one to the other. "You two?"

Tony chuckled. "Our first and only fistfight, thank goodness, happened to be over a girl." He nodded at Cassie. "That girl actually."

Ziva's brow furrowed. "I think I need to hear this story."

Cassie stretched her arm out to hold her husband's hand. "Before you ask Ziva, Tony and I never dated. It was a huge misunderstanding." Her blue gaze pierced each of the guys. "Which none of them bothered to clear up before Tony got caught in the line of fire."

"That was not our fault!" Jordan protested.

"Yeah Cass. Mark didn't even slow down long enough to hear a word we were trying to say, let alone for Darien to catch him," Brent defended.

Mark rolled his eyes. "Why don't we start from the beginning? D?"

Tony adjusted his position a little and thought back, remembering the moment quite clearly. "Mark was out of town visiting his grandparents. The timing was my first mistake. I needed help on an assignment that was due in two days and some girl advice, so I took Cassie out for coffee. Second mistake."

"It was partly my fault too," Cassie added, "because I never thought twice about how it would look. We should've just stayed at The Pad, that would've saved everyone a lot of trouble."

"So Mark gets home early and goes looking for Cassie, because even then he got separation anxiety after hours away from the love of his life. Even if he hadn't admitted out loud yet that was what she'd become. Her roommate tells him she left with a tall, extremely good looking-" Ziva pinched him and he squirmed "-moderately handsome guy with light brown hair and green eyes. Immediately jumping to some pretty formidable and totally fictitious conclusions, Mark stormed back to our house and demanded my location from the guys."

Mark took his turn. "By the time the others realized where my head was at it was too late to stop me. I broke speed limits racing to a café we all frequented and got there just in time to see Cassie and Tony locked in, what I considered, a very intimate embrace."

Cassie waved her hands. "But it wasn't like that at all! I thought of the guys as my brothers. I'd wanted an older brother all my life so it was a treat to suddenly have five. I never thought twice about hugging any of them or being too close until that night." She shook her head. "Imagine my shock and dismay when Mark jumped out of his car and stalked over, punching Tony right in the face with no warning or explanation."

"I hit the pavement and almost saw stars. Thought he broke my jaw," Tony said, rubbing the spot, "but even though he was bigger than me I didn't have the sense to stay down and let Cassie talk some reason into him. I jumped up and fists started flying. He tackled me into some garbage cans and we rolled around on the ground wrestling like two junior high boys with a bone to pick. Someone probably would've called the cops if Cassie hadn't grabbed a jug of water from an empty table and tossed it on us." He choked on a laugh and shivered. "The ice cubes in particular got our attention pretty quick."

Mark kissed the back of his wife's hand. "She dragged us into a nearby alley, crossed her arms, and pinned us with a glare that could melt steel while she dressed us down for the behaviour, though I definitely got a bigger dose of her disappointment than Tony."

"When the whole story came out it was almost funny," Cassie continued, "and though I didn't talk to any of them for almost a week just on principal, it was also the first time I knew Mark really loved me. That was the only explanation for his irrational jealousy." She touched his cheek. "Of course, it took him another four and a half months to tell me..."

Tony finished. "Mark and I shook hands and made up that night, though I ribbed him pretty good for thinking I'd try and steal his girl, and we've rarely had an argument since, even if we disagreed on a lot of stuff back then."

Mark looked at Ziva. "I knew you'd come around."

"Falling in love changes a lot. So does wanting to be good enough to deserve her love. I wouldn't go back to who I was for anything in the world."

Ziva leaned down and kissed her husband carefully, murmuring something in his ear the others didn't catch. But the love reflected on both their faces was the only thing anyone needed to know.

**NCIS**

Ryan had gone home with his cousins for the afternoon and CJ led Brent upstairs to their room, cautioning him that it wasn't for the reason he might think. "Not that there won't be time for that at some point, but first I really want to show you something."

"Is it lingerie?" her husband asked hopefully. "Because I'd be okay if it was lingerie."

"Nothing as exciting as that I'm afraid," CJ laughed. "But I'll try to keep that in mind."

They entered the room and she sat on the bed, leaning back on her hands. "So I was going to do some spring cleaning at the beginning of the month and decided to start with the closet. Imagine my surprise when I found fourteen peanut butter jars stacked at the very back, each one full of change."

Brent looked at the closet. "Yeah, I guess I never thought to mention that's where I keep them." His brow furrowed. "Is that a problem?"

CJ shook her head. "No. But seeing as I've had all this free time on my hands since my husband insists I take a day off every week, I put it to good use by rolling and counting all the change, just for curiosity's sake." She crouched down and pulled a clear box from under the bed, revealing rows and rows of neatly stacked rolls. "It took a really long time."

His eyebrows rose. "Wow. That's...a lot of change."

"My thoughts exactly." She smiled at him. "Care to take a guess at the total? Trust me, I don't think you're going to get it."

Brent remembered once counting a full jar to see how much he'd saved in one year and tried to do the math in his head. "I don't know, maybe...twelve hundred or so?"

CJ was grinning like the Cheshire cat. "Good guess. A little modest perhaps."

He rolled his eyes. "Gonna keep me in suspense?"

"Tempting," she winked, "but I can't hold it in any longer. Are you ready for this?"

"You bet. I was born ready."

"Thirty-five hundred."

Brent's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

CJ nodded. "I counted it three times, I'm sure."

"Wow."

"I second that." She shook her head. "Crazy that you saved so much without even trying."

He shrugged. "Just a habit I picked up from my dad." His brow furrowed. "Any thoughts on what we should do with it?"

CJ stared at him seriously. "That's your money Brent, saved over close to two decades. I think you should use it for whatever you want."

Brent set his hands on her hips. "Last time I checked Mrs. MacKay, once we said our vows there was no mine, no yours, only ours. Being as that hasn't changed, that makes this as much your money as it is mine. So how about I think of a few things and you think of a few things and we'll talk about it again later?"

The 'ours' concept was something that CJ still found to be challenging even after half a year of marriage. But instead of trying to express that to her husband, she kissed him and the topic of coin collecting was soon forgotten in favour of two spouses sharing the love they had for each other in a very tangible way.

**NCIS**

"Got all your obligations taken care of for the week?" Gibbs inquired shortly after hellos had been exchanged.

"All done," Celeste confirmed. "I gave notice to all my clients that I'd be out of town and rescheduled appointments for when I get back. Rosie will hardly even notice me missing. We're passing like ships in the night these days." Her much younger roommate was in a steady relationship and spent time with her boyfriend after work most nights. Celeste's schedule, on the other hand, could be rather erratic so even though they got along they were seldom in the apartment at the same time apart from breakfast.

They usually didn't talk this often in just a couple days, but Gibbs was having a hard time holding back how he felt about seeing her again. The last time they'd been face to face was two and a half years ago when she visited for a short while after the team had been reunited following Jenny's death. That was also when she introduced him to Lexie. Speaking of... "Bringing Lex with you?"

Celeste ran her fingers over her pet's head and sighed. "I can't decide. If I leave her here Rosie will make sure she's fed and watered and I can pay the neighbour girl to take her for walks. But I hate to leave her alone for long periods of time in case she thinks I've abandoned her."

"Bring her," he decided. "If you can't get a hotel room that allows for dogs, she can stay here nights and spend the days with you. I wouldn't mind the company after work."

Celeste couldn't be sure if he was hinting at her coming to the house for the evenings so she left it until he was more specific. "Thank you Jethro, that's the best option yet. And Lexie will be thrilled to see you again." _So will I, but that doesn't need to be said out loud._

"What time are you getting in?"

"Eleven. I figured I'd get to the hotel, grab some lunch, and then spend the afternoon looking at the blossoms. Tuesday's supposed to be the best day to see them."

"Sounds like a plan."

Celeste glanced at the clock and sighed. "I hate to cut this short but I'm squeezing in a couple early meetings tomorrow before I finish packing, so I should be getting to bed. Was there anything you needed before I go?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Have a safe flight. Don't forget your camera."

"Thank you. I won't. I'll call when I get in and let you know about arrangements for Lexie."

"Okay. You know where the key is."

Her brow furrowed. "You don't lock your door."

"Joke."

She chuckled. "I see. Goodnight Jethro."

"Sweet dreams Les." She hung up the phone and he blew out a breath. He was looking forward to seeing her so much, to taking even the tiniest step forward in their relationship, or what would be a relationship soon if he had his way. It left him feeling off-kilter, unused to wanting something so badly. And now if he planned to surprise her, he was going to need some help. At least it would be from one person he could easily intimidate into keeping his mouth shut. Gibbs didn't want anyone else to know what was going on, not yet.

**NCIS**

**Monday March 28**

Ziva entered the bathroom and saw Tony, fresh out of the shower with a towel around his waist, staring into the mirror and examining his bruises. Even three days later they were still dark and tender, not yet fading to the sickly yellow of healing tissue. She ran her hand down his bicep and rested her chin on his shoulder. "Will you be okay for work today?"

Tony pressed one of the spots and grimaced. "I may have to let you and McGee do the heavy lifting if chasing or wrestling suspects is required."

She kissed his bare skin. "I would prefer that you did." Holding onto him carefully, Ziva leaned her forehead on his back. "I do not want to watch you in that state again."

"Ever?"

"Ever would be my first choice, but at least not for a very long time."

He pulled her around to face him. "I'm okay honey. A little banged up, but still standing." One hand cupped her cheek, the other arm went around her waist and he captured her lips in a long kiss. "I'll take it easy today, I promise."

Ziva brought his mouth back to her. "Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too."

**NCIS**

Since she'd used some free moments at the end of last week to begin setting up appointments for scar removal options, Ziva decided it was better to warn her boss ahead of time rather than spring them on him closer to the time. She loitered by the elevator waiting for him to return from a coffee run partway through the morning. When the doors slid open and Gibbs saw her standing there, he asked the obvious question. "Help you with something?"

She opened her mouth to begin but suddenly thought better of doing it so much out in the open. "I need to speak with you for a moment." Understanding that meant wanting privacy, he led the way to the alcove and waited for her to begin. Ziva cleared her throat. "I...have some doctor's appointments coming up in the next few months. I just wanted to let you know that I may need a couple hours or an afternoon or morning off now and then."

Gibbs' throat grew tight while she explained and his pulse skyrocketed as he prepared for one of his worst fears - losing another of his kids. He swallowed hard and forced the words out that he really didn't want an answer to. "You sick Ziver?"

Able to guess where his mind had first gone, she shook her head. "No, nothing like that. You do not have to worry."

With anyone else except his girls he might believe that, but when either of them told him not to worry it usually gave him more cause to do so. "What's going on?"

Ziva turned her body so she faced half away from him. "It is personal Abba, something I need to do. Please do not ask me to explain more than that." For some reason, whether because it felt like weakness to admit or something else she couldn't name, she didn't want to tell him what the appointments were for.

Gibbs aimed his patented, probing stare at her but Ziva refused to budge and he finally accepted her answer. He squeezed her arm gently. "If you need anything kid..."

She smiled slightly. "I know. Thank you."

They both went back to work but his stomach was tight with knots all day, watching her out the corner of his eye and trying to figure out exactly what was wrong.

**NCIS**

Earlier, when he'd been able to catch him alone, Gibbs had asked McGee to remain when the rest of team left. Tony and Ziva got their things and said goodbye and only after the elevator doors closed did Gibbs walk over to his agent's desk. "Need a favour Tim."

The tone, along with use of his first name, made McGee almost cringe. "Am I going to need a get out of jail free card for this?" His last brush with someone a little too interested in his hacking skills had left him wary of another investigation if the wrong person noticed.

Gibbs shook his head. "Nope, fairly harmless."

Not exactly reassuring, but he'd take what he could get. "Okay, what can I do?"

Gibbs pinned him with a look. "Not a word to anyone."

Tim's eyebrows rose. "Sure Boss. My lips are sealed."

"Flight coming into DC from LA tomorrow at 1100. Find the name Celeste Casey on the manifest. I want arrival details."

"Celeste Casey," McGee rolled the name around in his head even as his fingers flew across the keyboard. "Why does that sound familiar?"

Offering no help whatsoever, Gibbs merely stood too close for comfort and waited for his information.

"Who is she?" Tim asked seconds later. When he caught a glimpse of the man's expression he swallowed. "None of my business, right."

It took McGee only moments to find and he scribbled flight number and arrival gate on a scrap piece of paper. "There you go Boss."

Gibbs rested a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks." Then he headed back to his desk. "Go home Tim, it's late."

Extremely tempted to probe for answers but knowing it wouldn't be nearly as much fun without his black-haired former best friend to speculate with, he did as he was told - erasing the trail, shutting his computer down, grabbing his backpack, and heading out.

Once he was alone in the bullpen Gibbs stared at the numbers on the paper, knowing it would be a pretty great surprise when he was there waiting for her tomorrow. After everything that had happened between them, he owed her at least one grand gesture to show Celeste how much she mattered to him.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday March 29**

Because she'd already skipped Ops twice to be with him in the first few days following the beating, Tony insisted last night that she got for a run with Meira this morning. Reluctantly Ziva did, knowing how good it would feel to stretch her legs. Tony used the opportunity to pen a love letter to his wife answering a question she'd asked almost a month before._ I don't know if I can pick just one song for our song Zi, there's so many that fit us and our story_. He went on to make a list that included _At the Beginning, Bless the Broken Rood, This I Promise You, Truly Madly Deeply, L-O-V-E, Amazed, This I Swear_. _I could keep going honey and list every one we've ever danced to, each one sung in the dark of night to keep you with me when the nightmares tried to drag you back, and all of those that will hold a special place in our lives as the years go on. But even if we don't have just one song to be ours, it doesn't make us any less special than the couples who do. After all, the most important part of our love story for me is you. Don't laugh even if you think it's cheesy babe, I mean every word. All my heart ~ Tony._

He thought long and hard about where to hide this newest letter and finally settled on stuffing it in the pocket of one of her jackets. If she didn't find it in a month or so he'd relocate it, but for now it was fun to wait and see. Once Ziva returned he made breakfast while she showered, declining her help with his own routine because he was still way too sore for any kind of fun. Inside the building Tony continued his so far reliable evasive maneuvers, but despite his concerted effort to avoid her, EJ rushed at him the moment he arrived on the floor.

"Tony! I just heard about what happened to you." She got right in his personal space, touching the bruises on his face and looking for any other visible injuries.

He winced and reared back because her touch was not nearly as gentle as Ziva's. "Ouch."

She pulled back. "Oops. Sorry. Still hurts, huh?"

Tony resisted the urge to get sarcastic. "Yeah, hurts." Though granted, today's condition was a whole lot better than he felt on Friday.

"Well I have just the thing for that," EJ smiled broadly, "a glass of wine when we're done here. It'll help you relax and you can tell me all about your daring adventures."

Unlike usual Tony was thankful for Gibbs' intrusion into a conversation because it meant he didn't have to come up with another feeble excuse to avoid spending extra time in her company. "Grab your gear." He glared at EJ as he walked past but didn't say anything to her. Something about the woman rankled him and he especially didn't like her latching onto his senior field agent like a leech. It also didn't help that Ziva looked like she was about to find a different use for paperclips that might include one of those eighteen ways she'd threatened her partner with years ago. EJ was a complication his team didn't need and he hoped she wasn't staying very long.

Tony and Ziva fell to the back of the group as they trailed Gibbs to the elevator and he just barely linked pinkies with her, offering reassurance if that was needed. Ziva smiled slightly and shook her head. She wasn't mad at him but EJ was being a little too solicitous with her husband for her peace of mind. Whatever the other agent was doing in her days out of the office, Ziva hoped she'd get back to them by tomorrow so she didn't accidentally get used as target practice. It would be a shame spill blood on the carpet. Those stains were so hard to get out.

**NCIS**

Celeste was so focused on making sure she didn't get lost on the way to baggage claim that she didn't notice the silver haired man until he stepped into her path. She paused for a moment, uncertain after so much time away, then he smiled and she dropped her bag and threw her arms around his neck. "Jethro. Thank you for coming."

If she was surprised to see him, it didn't show and Gibbs realized she probably did know him that well, to know he wouldn't stay away when they finally had the chance to be, however briefly, back in each other's lives. He held her tight for a long time, remembering what she said about him giving good hugs. "Welcome home Les." Above anything else that was happening with them, she was still his best friend.

She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "I have missed seeing you in person."

Gibbs grabbed her carry on from the floor and set his hand at her lower back. "Same here." They walked together to Carousel 3 and waited. It wasn't long before Celeste's signature coral suitcase with yellow polka dots and lime green accents appeared. He hefted it off and shook his head. "This is still the ugliest luggage I've ever seen."

Celeste rolled her eyes. "Must you say that every time?"

"As long as it's still true."

She jutted out her chin stubbornly. "Well I like it." He gave her a look and she shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe it wouldn't've been my first choice. But the set was on sale and I mean...who else would want it?"

He barked a laugh. "Good point." Her favourite luggage tag, the one that stated in capital letters 'THIS BAG IS NOT YOURS', was another feature unique to her. He was glad to see some things hadn't changed. "Where do we pick up Lex?"

Celeste gestured to the collection of cages off to the side. "I checked her in as baggage so there would only be one stop." Walking among the crates, she quickly located hers and opened the door, offering her hand to Lexie before clipping on her leash. "Come on out honey."

Lexie uncurled herself and stepped out. As soon as she caught sight of Gibbs she yipped excitedly and lunged towards, him, pulling the leash right out of her mistress's hand. Gibbs knelt down, dodging the warm wet tongue while he ran his hands down her sides and obligingly offered a belly rub. "Hey Lex, were you a good girl on the flight?"

Celeste crossed her arms. "What am I, chopped liver?" Lexie deigned to raise her head and at least glance at her owner, but she was in doggy bliss with Gibbs' full attention.

After a minute or so he stood and took her leash. "Okay little lady, let's go."

Giving up the fight, Gibbs was obviously her dog's favourite person, Celeste took her bag back and let Gibbs manage both dog and suitcase on the way out to his car. When everyone was settled and they were driving towards her hotel, Celeste shifted to face him in the passenger seat. "I'm surprised you could get away from work."

He shrugged. "Slow day at the office."

She smiled. "You sure know how to make a girl feel special. Personal escort to the hotel and everything."

"Saves you a phone call about Lexie."

"Yes, I'm sure that's exactly why you came." Celeste's gaze drifted out the window at so many familiar sights. It really had been too long since she'd last frequented DC. "The good news is, they're going to let me keep her in the room. So your offer to dogsit will have to wait for another time. Thank you just the same."

Gibbs felt a little deflated being that the dog was going to be one of his excuses to see her every day that she was here. "Oh. Good. More convenient that way."

She could hear it in his tone but was wise enough not to say that out loud. "But we could be persuaded to come over and see the progress you've made on the boat later, if you're available."

He nodded slowly, relieved for the opening. "That could work."

Used to silence in the car, Celeste rested her head back, content to just share the space with him. At the hotel when Gibbs unloaded her bags and offered to see them inside, she assured him it wasn't necessary. "We've taken too much of your time already. It was really nice to be welcomed back."

Gibbs paused for a brief moment, then leaned in and kissed her cheek the same way he always had every time they said hello or goodbye. "See ya tonight." He crouched to pet Lexie. "You be a good girl. It's crowded at the festival, don't cause any trouble." She delightedly licked his cheek and he stepped back. "Have fun today."

"We will. Bye."

He wasn't a huge fan of saying goodbye to her right now, so he just smiled and got back in the car. Step 1: Complete. Now he just had to figure out a way to insert himself into her schedule every day for the length of her visit. What he wanted was to make it an awful lot harder for her to leave him behind and go back to California alone.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday March 30**

By now and with Gibbs acting so out of character, McGee knew better than to say anything when the boss got him to ping an out of town cell number around lunch. He got a pat on the back for his efforts and then Gibbs took off, leaving Tim wishing he could share this strange turn of events with Abby or even Tony and Ziva, but they'd already left for lunch and he couldn't risk Tony blabbing to Gibbs that he'd shared a secret.

Around noon Celeste was enjoying the 'cherry picks' - free morsels given away by different restaurants during the normal mealtime hours. She was caught off guard, but shouldn't have been, when Gibbs showed up by her side. "Find anything good?"

Celeste started but quickly recovered, flashing him a smile. "Jethro! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

He offered his arm. "Thought I'd take you to lunch. Beautiful day."

She tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow. "A little chilly, but the sun is nice. I'm glad I brought my windbreaker."

"Might need your raincoat later," Gibbs commented. "Heard something about rain on the radio."

"A good excuse for Lexie and I to hunker down somewhere with a hot drink and a dog biscuit."

He slipped her pet one from his pocket and she crunched it gently. "Enjoying yourself so far?"

"Yes. I forgot how much I miss being in DC this time of year."

"Nothing like the cherry blossoms, that's for sure." Gibbs sighed and raised his gaze to the sky. "Kelly never got enough of them. Should've seen the wonder in her eyes the first time we brought her, trees all decked out in pretty pink blossoms. After that a year never passed that she didn't start reminding us at Christmas and counting down days until spring came around again."

Celeste's expression reflected awe. "I...thank you Jethro, for sharing that memory with me." He'd never talked about his girls during their marriage and despite how deep their friendship was, rarely after that either.

He covered her hand with his. "I want you to know the happy ones. Eight years wasn't nearly enough with her, but there were a lot of good times."

She leaned into him briefly. "I'm honoured."

"I know." Gibbs swallowed with difficulty. "That's why you're the one I can tell."

Blinking back the moisture that sprang to her eyes, she let the moment rest before asking, "Where are we eating?"

His slight smile returned. "You'll see." She was only around for four and a half days, he had no intention of wasting any of them.

**NCIS**

"Since we were interrupted yesterday and didn't get to confirm any plans," EJ began, appearing by his desk like Ziva used to and making him jump, "why don't I make you dinner tonight?" At his wary look she smiled. "Just one co-worker being nice to another co-worker, no pressure. We can compare our best injury souvenirs from the job."

As she'd rarely been at the office two days in a row, Tony hadn't been prepared to face her today on top of the day before. "Oh, um...thanks. That's generous of you, really. But Wednesdays are my yoga night." He shrugged. "Sorry."

EJ crossed her arms, eyeing him suspiciously. "Yoga?"

He nodded rapidly. "Yeah. You know...stretching...meditation...it's really calming. Good for the stress of the job. So, maybe next time." Of course now he'd actually have to get Ziva to show him a little bit of yoga tonight so he wasn't actually being false about his plans. This kept getting more complicated all the time.

Although she didn't believe a word he was saying and she wasn't sure he did either, EJ didn't have any arguments left at present so she simply walked away throwing a, "Fine, whatever," back over her shoulder.

Removing herself from temptation, Ziva had gone to the breakroom when EJ got within ten feet of their workspace so Tony now followed after her, stopping near the vending machine. "Hey."

She glanced back. "Hi."

He studied her body language. "On a scale from one to ten, where one is entirely harmless and ten is ripping my arms off and beating me to death with them, how safe is it to approach?"

Ziva considered her current state of mind. "Six. At your own risk."

"I'll take my chances." Tony let his hand drift down her back and she sighed, relaxing into his touch.

"I suppose I should be able to take it as a compliment, that other women find my husband so irresistible." She flexed her fingers carefully. "But that is not what is running through my head right now."

Tony caught her tense hand in his, weaving their fingers together to give it a more constructive purpose. "If it's any consolation, I'd have a hard time being positive about a guy coming onto my wife."

Her brow furrowed and her posture wilted a little. "That has not happened in a long time." Not that she wanted to be fending off admirers, but a woman always felt good when others noticed and appreciated her.

He chuckled, pressing his mouth to her warm neck and speaking in a low voice that tickled her skin. "Babe, you're absolutely wrong. But I consider it a very high compliment that you're so focused on not being available you never even notice how many other men stare and their jaws drop when you walk by." Ziva looked at him for confirmation and Tony nodded. "Seriously. Don't you remember the reactions you got at the club?"

She shrugged dismissively. "That is different. I was in a short tight dress, anyone would look then."

Tony shook his head. "Tomorrow when you come off the elevator, take a really quick look through the room and see how many eyes are immediately averted so you don't notice they've been staring. Trust me, it happens every single time."

Ziva's gaze slid around the space to check for anyone watching, then she turned and met his mouth with hers. "I only have eyes for you."

He returned the caress, not nearly as long or thoroughly as he would've preferred but not bad considering they were on work time. "I love you so much."

She patted his cheek gently and sent him away. Tony didn't even bother to help the self-satisfied smirk that settled on his lips. No one but his wife could make him feel this good.

**NCIS**

**Thursday March 31**

Though not traditionally an early morning person, Celeste had been determined to get out while the crowds were at their lowest and hopefully capture a really nice, uninterrupted-by-people picture of the Tidal Basin brimming with cherry blossoms. Leaving Lexie behind for the time being, she wandered the winding paths and carefully set up each shot, often sighing when the result was not what she desired. Finally she dropped onto a stone bench and just looked out at the scenery, wishing it was possible to capture what her eyes saw.

A young couple nearby caught her attention. The man had a professional looking camera set up on a tripod and he snapped several photos, while the woman with him smiled, distracted him with kisses, and kept her hand on his back while he worked. After a minute or two the man noticed he was being watched and glanced over at her with a question on his face. Celeste approached, her expression apologetic. "I'm sorry to stare, you just look like you really know what you're doing."

The photographer chuckled. "I hope so, it's how I make my living." He held out his hand. "Adrian Platz."

She returned the gesture. "Celeste Casey."

Adrian turned to the woman. "This is my wife-"

The brunette smiled and cut off whatever he was about the say. "Elise Grove." She could see Adrian's surprise out of the corner of her eye. It was supposed to be a secret, so she never introduced herself by her nom de plume.

Celeste gave her a knowing smile. "You recognized my name."

Emma nodded. "The writing community can be a very small world. My name is Emma Myan, well, Platz now."

"I have some of your books," Celeste commented. "I still enjoy children's stories just as much as they do."

"I love them too, but I'm trying to branch out - pre-teen, maybe someday even adult books. My publisher is considering my first attempt at young adult fiction right now." She'd been on pins and needles for days wondering what they'd say.

Celeste fished a card out of her pocket. She carried them at all times from long habit. "When you have an adult manuscript ready, give me a call and I'll look over it for you. "

Emma's mouth fell open in shock. "Really? Are you sure? I mean, you've worked with some really well known authors."

One shoulder shrugged. "And they all started with a first novel." She glanced between them, an idea percolating. "How's this? I'll trade my first round of services for a couple of your husband's cherry blossom pictures. I adore artwork and though I don't live here anymore, this place will always be home."

Emma turned to Adrian for approval and he quickly nodded. "Yeah, of course. But it sounds like we might be getting the better deal."

"Let me be the judge of that." She eyed his camera. "Do you mind if I hang around for awhile? I 'd appreciate a few tips. I can never get the pictures to turn out like I see them."

Adrian grinned. "By all means. I'd be happy to give you some pointers. And if you want, you can join us for breakfast after. Em and I both took part of the morning off work."

Celeste's smile was genuine. "Thank you. I'd be delighted." This was certainly not what she'd expected when she come out this morning, but the things that weren't planned often came out so much better than the ones that were. She was going to enjoy every minute.

Photography pointers only lasted until people began trickling into their space, then Adrian had to pack up his gear and clear out. The three of them spent an enjoyable hour at a nearby café, enjoying the food and each other's company. They parted with handshakes and Adrian passed her his card. "If you're ever in the neighbourhood again feel free to look us up, come by and see the studio, take a peek at Em's writing room, whatever works. We'd love to have you."

Celeste thanked them for their time and hospitality and they watched her go. "Really neat lady. Crazy how you never know the way a day is going to turn out," he mused, putting his arm around his wife's waist.

"I know, never saw that coming." She ran her finger over Celeste's card. "I didn't even get to pray about that one and God dropped the answer in my lap in the form of an editor. I imagine she has connections I can only dream of."

Adrian pressed his lips to her temple. "One day it won't be a dream honey, trust me."

Emma leaned into him. "I love you for your faith in me." They headed down the sidewalk back to their car and then Adrian tripped. He fell to one knee and she looked down, concerned. "Are you okay?"

Adrian sighed. "You got a bandaid?"

Seeing as he was wearing pants, she didn't see how he could possibly need one. "Why?"

He stood up and brushed himself off, grinning. "Because I just scraped my knee falling for you."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Where did you even get that?"

"What, now that we're married I can't use pick up lines?"

"You didn't use any before we were married."

Adrian was still grinning. "Yeah, but it's more fun now. Not like you can turn me down." He reached for her left hand. "You're already wearing my ring."

She shoved his shoulder. "You're ridiculous."

"Yeah, but you love me, right?"

He looked so sincere Emma couldn't help but smile. "Always."

In his head Adrian silently chalked up one point for himself on the pick up lines scoreboard.

**NCIS**

Gibbs had taken to calling later in the afternoon to check on Celeste's plans and see where he might be able to claim some of her time. On this occasion when he asked about what was on the schedule she hedged. "Well, there is a dinner cruise tonight."

He leaned back in his chair. "Sounds nice. Want company?"

"I'd love company, but it's three hours and I wasn't sure you'd find that very exciting."

Gibbs chuckled. "Just because all I do is build boats doesn't mean I don't like being on one once in awhile Sign me up."

Celeste bit her lip. "Are you sure?"

Debating on whether to give her the honest truth or a carefully veiled version, he gave in. "I'm going for the company, not the experience."

She smiled, feeling like a high school girl with a crush all over again. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. What time should I pick you up?"

"Six."

"See you then."

"I'm looking forward to it," she almost whispered as he hung up. The week was already going so much better than she could've hoped. This was all she'd wanted for the last seventeen years.

**NCIS**

On their way out of the building Tony caught his wife's hand. "Hey, want to go riding for a little while tonight?"

Her brow furrowed. "I do not think you are ready for that yet."

He shrugged one shoulder. "I'm sore, but I could probably manage a bit of time in the saddle." He took a deep breath and winced. "Or maybe I'll just spectate while you're in the saddle."

Ziva kissed his cheek. "You are very sweet to offer ahava, but I can wait until you feel more like yourself." Almost a week had passed since he got beat up and the trauma her husband suffered had been slow to heal.

"If you're sure." He felt bad that she'd missed out on a few things lately and he was anxious to make them up to her.

"I am," Ziva confirmed. "Should we get pizza for supper?"

He'd been dreadfully spoiled with favourite things this week. Tony quirked a half-grin. "I guess I should enjoy it while I can, huh?"

"Yes." They'd be back to normal soon but for now she liked pampering him a little.

"Pizza it is." At the car he stopped and shook his head. "No Zi, I really want to do this for you. Look, I've been pretty much useless all week. I just want to take you somewhere I know you like to be, even if we only hung out with the horses for a bit or you took Jules into the training ring - it's kinda cold to be hitting the trail."

She gazed at him with adoration. "You would drive an hour just to be there for a little while?"

"Yes," Tony insisted. "I love you."

Ziva laid her hand on his chest. "You are a hard man to say no to Anthony DiNozzo." She leaned close, their lips barely a breath apart. "It is no wonder EJ is infatuated."

His nose wrinkled. "Can we not talk about her when I'm about to kiss you?"

She closed the space between them and Tony sighed into her mouth. He waited all day for these moments.

Eventually the couple broke apart and headed for their destination. They spent a relaxing forty-five minutes with Jax and Jules after Ziva and Jules took a quick turn in the ring, and stopped at a pizzeria on the way home for a slice and drink. Back at the house Tony and Ziva got comfortable on the couch, her sitting between his legs, while Tony combed his fingers slowly through her hair.

He smiled against the dark waves. "Thanks for trying last night, but I've changed my mind - Wednesdays are no longer yoga nights."

Ziva chuckled. "I thought that might happen. And I'm sure we can find much more fun things to relieve the stress of our jobs."

Tony groaned. "Not fair babe." As much as he wanted to, his body wasn't ready to cooperate with that particular bedroom activity yet.

Shifting in his arms, she looked at her husband. "This would not be the first time we've had to get a little...creative about intimacy because of injuries." Ziva brushed her lips over his jaw. "Why don't we start with a shower and go from there?"

He cupped her cheek. "You're incredible, you know that?"

She winked. "I guess we'll have to wait and see."

The incentive got Tony off the couch in a hurry and the time that followed was just about them.

**NCIS**

**Friday April 1**

In a change of pace from the way he'd been pursuing her all week, Celeste called Gibbs shortly after lunch. "You'll never guess what I learned how to make this morning."

As soon as he saw her name on caller ID Gibbs was out of his chair in a hurry and starting for the stairs, something that didn't go unnoticed by his team. He headed down to the bottom level where he was less likely to be interrupted. "Probably not when you say it like that."

"Origami cherry blossoms. They were running at class at the crime museum." Celeste laughed. "I have a whole new appreciation for the art of paper folding."

"Complicated?" Gibbs asked, using the steps as a seat. It wasn't something that interested him but Celeste had always been the creative type.

She scoffed. "Took me two hours to figure it out. I don't think my patience would extend to that as a hobby, but once was fun. How's your day so far?"

He made a face. "Catching up on paperwork. My agents aren't the only ones who've been shirking that part of the job lately." Granted, he'd also had a more active social life this week than he did usually.

"Maybe I could interject something a little different into the mix?"

Gibbs perked up. "Yeah? Change your mind about dropping by?" He'd pay to see the look on Tony's face if she did.

"Unfortunately no." Maybe someday when something had been decided between them. "But there is a guided stroll of the Tidal Basin by lantern light tonight led by National Park Service Rangers that I was hoping you might join me for."

He nodded slowly. "Works for me." He'd be a fool to turn down the invitation.

"Can I steal you away for dinner before that?"

So far they'd shared the noon or evening meal at a different restaurant three days in a row and he could too easily get used to that routine. "How about a late dinner at my place instead? I'll cook."

She knew right away what that meant for food but agreed anyways. "That sounds lovely."

"Come by around seven?"

"I'll be there."

Gibbs stayed where he was for a few more minutes planning the evening in his head. He was determined to make a good impression.

**NCIS**

Heading into the office for a piece of tape to fix a rip in one of her cookbook pages, Ziva's attention was snagged by the scribbled words on her desk notepad. Going very still as she remembered the information that had been copied, she let out a breath and took the whole pad out to show her husband. He was collecting ingredients out of the fridge and cupboards for the dish they'd chosen and glanced up at her return, brow furrowing when he saw the pad of paper. "That doesn't look like tape."

"No." Ziva leaned her back against the counter. "But it is something I forgot to tell you."

"Oh?"

She rubbed her forehead. "When I showed you the check from Eli, it skipped my mind to share what else was in the letter."

His eyebrows jumped up. "You actually read it?" That would be a first.

"Doda told me some of what it said." Ziva waved the pad. "Eli is not only making up for lost time with the lump sum, but he has also set up an account where my pension money will be deposited on the first of every month." She turned it around to show him the amount. "I feel strange about taking anything from him, and yet..."

"He, they, whatever, owe it to you. Especially after everything that happened," Tony stated firmly.

Ziva shrugged. "We never have this much extra, not with what is being saved for. What do you think we should do with it?"

He kind of loved that she thought of them so much as in everything together that she hadn't even considered keeping it to herself and instead brought him in on the decision. Tony put his hands on his hips as he thought. He knew exactly what he wanted to use it for, but if they added that much extra per month to what they were already putting in the IVF account, they'd have enough for two rounds by the end of summer and he didn't think she'd be ready to handle the physical examination at that point, especially so close to the anniversary of Somalia. But...maybe there was a compromise.

"Well," the way Ziva braced herself told him he was right and Tony didn't drag it out, "how about if we put half of it towards our IVF savings and the other half into a vacation fund? That way we'll have some saved already by the time we want to get away again."

She nodded slowly, feeling a small amount of relief. "That sounds very reasonable." And then they both got what they wanted - Tony's wish to speed time up until they could try IVF would be fulfilled, and she would still get some extra time before having to submit herself to an exam and testing.

Tony tipped her chin up, molding his mouth to hers. "We're going to get through this honey, I promise. And the result will be worth everything up until that point."

Rather than arguing Ziva allowed herself to be drawn into a hug. She just hoped he wasn't completely devastated if the result didn't look anything like the happily ever after he imagined.

**NCIS**

Celeste arrived at seven just as he was pulling steaks out of the fireplace. "Hi." Lexie sniffed the air with tail wagging and she chuckled. "Nice try. I think I'll leave you over here while food is that close to the ground." She looped the leash around the bannister and her pet flopped down in a huff, head resting dejectedly on her paws. Taking off her coat, she draped it over the livingroom chair. "Can I help with anything?"

"Grab a couple plates? Everything else is ready."

And so it was. On top of steak there was also vegetables and mashed potatoes on the stove. Celeste's eyebrows rose as she reached into the same cupboard where dishes had been for decades. "I'm impressed."

Gibbs came over wearing a rare smile. "That's the idea." He lifted one piece of meat onto each plate and brought a bottle of her favourite wine out as well. "Help yourself."

They enjoyed a tasty and pleasant meal before retiring to the couch with their wine glasses. Relaxed and satisfied Celeste sank deeper into the cushions, staring at flickering flames. She'd missed the heat from an actual fire and it was especially nice now with DC being unseasonably cold. "This is perfect."

"I lit it for you." He'd been paying really close attention to everything she said over the last few months.

She rolled her head to look at him. "Are you courting me Jethro?"

That she came right out and said it gave him a pause, then Gibbs shook his head. "Not yet. But I'm practicing for it."

The fond expression Celeste turned on him darn near made his heart flutter, something he hadn't experienced since an eighteen year old Gibbs talked to Shannon at the bus stop a lifetime ago. "For practicing you're doing very well," Celeste said softly. "I've enjoyed all of this very much."

"It's been good to have you back."

Her eyes strayed to the clock, looking for a way to defuse the significance of the moment. "We should probably go."

Gibbs understood her caution and respected it. They knew each other so well it would be easy to get ahead of themselves. "Better bundle up."

Celeste wrinkled her nose. "I've been in California too long. I didn't think to bring a warmer coat."

He thought through the options, "Got an idea." Upstairs he rummaged through the closet and came back with a heavy zippered sweater. "You can wear this, if you want."

She accepted it with a smile. "Thank you." Slipping the sweater on she literally enveloped in his calming scent of sawdust and Old Spice. The familiarity of it caused a lump to rise in her throat. She'd missed him so much and no more so than when he was right in front of her. "Do you-do you have a flashlight?" Her voice wavered and she kicked herself for the lack of control.

"Yup." Gibbs held it up and took Lexie's leash. "Let's go little lady. Don't think they'll wait for us." He held out his hand and she put hers into his reassuring grip. For the rest of the night he never let go once. It was a preview of what life could look like and neither of them were in a hurry for that feeling to end.

_Replies:_

_Sorry to those who reviewed for Ch 47. I completely forgot about posting replies, I was trying to keep my eyes open long enough to get Ch 48 up before midnight. I'll make up for it now :) Thanks!_

_Guest (MIT47) - thank you :) T makes a really good post-nightmare comforter. lol...good question. I don't know much more about Z's dream. What you saw is pretty much all I know about it because that's the only part Z remembered._

_Debbie (MIT47) - definitely. Gibbs has come a long way since they started talking last summer. I've been thinking about that one, Z getting her sketch framed for Tony, for a very long time. It's nice to finally been using the story notes and scenes that have been hanging around so long. Cassie makes a great sounding board for Z and it's nice for me to see how much closer they've gotten since she started coming to group events. lol...well I'm a huge fan of longer reviews so I'm glad you found so much to like. I know I'm likely in a class by myself, but I thought that Avatar movie was well done, I was disappointed they didn't do the other two parts. But that's the only exposure I've ever had to anything Avatar related. I hope it's something she has fun with. You should always have fun when you're writing. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Melissa (MIT47) - thank you, I'm glad to hear that. No worries, it was a long time ago. And I'm not talking fighting as in physical fights, but a lot of yelling and arguing and anger. I'm not offended at all. You could try explaining what you meant, I'm open to listening :) I'm glad you liked Z's gift, I've been awaiting awhile to use that one. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Allie (MIT47) - lol...well thank you, that's a very nice compliment :) You don't mess with Aunt Nettie! :P I hope that's the only interaction they have, if Z gets any angrier bad things might start happening. She is an assassin after all ;) I was rewatching the earlier seasons and saw him wearing those clothes and just thought, wow. lol...so of course Z had to think the same thing. And apparently we all agree :) I hope the challenge is amusing, it's a little hard to figure out where to add the pick up lines in, that part is still a work in progress. I need to be the one remembering she doesn't have extra weapons, so I..I mean Tony doesn't forget to give them back to her :) At least EJ's a little safer for the moment. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

_Guest (MIT48) - Thank you :) Yeah, poor Tony indeed. lol...I can't figure that, why people like to see him hurt. I don't. But it's a good opportunity for Z to return some of the care he's given her over the last couple years. Baltimore is a bit of a hard chapter because Tony's dealing with stuff, but hopefully it lives up to expectations. Thanks so much for reviewing, I really appreciate it! :) ~Aliyah_

_Melissa (MIT48) - Thank you, that's always nice to hear. I feel like this last bit of the season is a good chance for Z to take care of T since he's been doing that for her so much. I love T on painkillers. I always wish I could capture it better and that we'd seen more of it on the show. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	50. MIT 50 - Part 3

_A/N: I'm delighted to report that I as of yesterday I have finished writing MIT Part 5! I could pretty much do a happy dance right now, this has been such a long haul. We top out at 58 chapters and, Lord willing, I'll keep to the regular two chapters/week posting schedule. My goal is to have this wrapped up by the last week of April. Thanks so much for reading, for your comments - really, that you take the time to let me know what you think means the world to me. I'm so thankful for the following MIT has and I hope you continue to enjoy the story as we head into the final stretch. With gratitude ~Aliyah_

**Saturday April 2**

Over breakfast Ziva suddenly announced, "I want to do spring cleaning."

Tony groaned. "Can't we pretend we're in Israel and spring doesn't exist?" She rolled her eyes and he sighed. "Okay, fine."

Her brow furrowed. "It is not meant to be a punishment. But we have lived here more than four years and never done it yet."

He stroked the back of her hand. "You have a point. It's just that moving ranks in some of my least favourite memories, except moving in here with you of course, but moving in general and the amount of work spring cleaning takes reminds me of moving."

Ziva smiled into her tea. "You sounded like Abby just then."

"She rubs off on people." Tony took a fortifying gulp of coffee. "Where should we start?"

"Let's clean first and then begin."

"Clean so we can make a mess, makes perfect sense to me," Tony grumbled.

They spent the morning cleaning their house quite thoroughly, after which they had to break for lunch. Tony's brief mention of Israel for some reason made Ziva crave sabbich, so she went out for ingredients while Tony folded the last load of laundry - his wife's reasoning being that it was easier to go through their clothes if they were all clean and in the room. Following a delicious and satisfying cultural meal, and after some discussion, spring cleaning started by tackling the office. Tony and Ziva separately went to their respective desks to organize and reduce the number of items. Tony made sure to do his bottom drawer when she moved to the bookshelf, hoping it would absorb her attention enough she wouldn't notice he barely touched it so Eli's letters weren't disturbed.

In the second to last drawer he found a rolled up tube of paper and drew a blank. Pulling the string off, he carefully opened it up and smiled at the sketch of a thoughtful Ziva, a gift from Quinn - the homeless, declared dead veteran who got a Christmas miracle a couple years back, with help from Gibbs and Abby as very unlikely angels. "Hey Zi." She looked over her shoulder. "Did I ever show this to you?" Ziva moved to his side, her face instantly softening.

"I didn't know he finished it."

"Gave it to me right before he left with Gibbs." Tony shook his head. "I can't believe I just put it away and forgot about it. I want to frame this!" he declared. "It can be my reminder of Quinn's advice."

She lifted an eyebrow. "Which was?"

Tony kissed her. "Never to take time with you for granted." His lips moved over herself again. "I don't want to look back on our life and regret all the things I should've done or said."

Ziva cupped the back of his head, indulging in the freedom to share that kind of touch. "The way you have loved me yakiri, you have nothing to regret."

That spawned more kissing until Tony smiled. "Can we call spring cleaning on account of making out?"

Her lips brushed his a final time. "Tempting. But we really should keep going." Ziva stared into his eyes, her own full of love. "This kind of distraction is dangerously addictive."

Tony grinned, proud of that fact, and the chore continued. They sorted through their books (though Ziva struggled with actually getting rid of reading material, she did find a handful of novels she was not likely to read again), magazines (Tony reluctantly culled a stack of yellow bordered National Geographics, leaving a good hundred or so still in the collection), desk drawer contents and the piles of things strewn across both their desktops. The end result was a good amount of recycling and a couple bags of discarded stuff.

During her reorganization of the bottom bookshelf where their scrapbooks were collected (three and a half full ones so far) Ziva found a smaller one that got tucked behind something else and dropped to the floor crosslegged. Tony noticed her movement and joined her, watching as her slender fingers trailed across the cover. He recognized the book from before they were technically dating and sighed. "I forgot about that one when Aunt Nettie was here."

Ziva swallowed, feeling tears prick at her eyes. "Tali and I made this."

"I know."

Taking a deep breath, she opened the cover, struck by a wave of memories. "After I returned from IDF we crossed a line from sisters to friends, but it was as sisters that we wanted to chronicle the moments important to us." Ziva turned the pages slowly, revealing many pictures of the two girls from Tali's birth on - Ziva and Tali with Ari, Michael, and Anna; the two of them laughing and drawing and making flower crowns for each other's hair. Ziva and Tali dressed up to go out, cuddled up in their pyjamas with long wavy hair in matching ponytails.

But the ones that really made her want to cry captured the days she and Tali and Ari had snuck away to Paris without Eli's permission for her sixteenth birthday and all the fun they'd packed into that short time. After Tali's death Ziva had tried to still add some memories - days off with Michael and Ari, places she'd traveled to - but without her sister beside her the task fell flat and the book ended with a photo of where Tali was buried. Underneath Hebrew characters were inscribed and Ziva translated before he asked.

"The joy is gone from my life. Nothing is now worth remembering." Tony kissed her temple but stayed silent in the face of faded but never far away grief. After a moment she smiled and met his eyes. "She would be so glad to know you gave me that joy back ahava, thank you."

Her lips were a light pressure against his and he lifted an eyebrow. "Do you really expect me not to kiss you senseless after a comment like that?"

Ziva's eyes twinkled. "Actually, I am counting on it."

Hating to disappoint, Tony followed through and since they'd completed one room it was quickly decided that this time spring cleaning could absolutely be called on account of making out. If that was the reward for de-cluttering their house, he was going to suggest it again tomorrow.

**NCIS**

Gibbs and Celeste walked into the diner where they'd met nineteen years ago hand in hand and Celeste's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh, it hasn't changed a bit!"

He chuckled. "I almost want to find a newspaper and check the date. Feels like we've stepped back in time."

"You're not kidding." They took the back corner booth by the window, which had been Gibbs' regular table starting the day they first locked eyes.

Memories paraded through each of their minds and Celeste smiled. "My heart skipped a beat when you aimed that intense stare at me. I was a goner from that moment on."

"Red hair, bright blue eyes, cute outfit - you caught my attention after a year of being sure no one else ever would." He sighed. "Do you think if we'd taken things slower, gotten to know more -"

"Given you time to heal, would it have made a difference?" Celeste finished. "There's no way of knowing Jethro. That's why we're being careful now."

A pause put the past behind them yet again and Gibbs cleared his throat. "First time all week we're out because we actually planned for it."

Her lips curved up. "I haven't minded all the surprises."

He resisted the urge to lift her hand to his lips and kiss her fingers. Not pushing any further this week than a kiss on the cheek in greeting and holding hands was one of the hardest things he'd ever done. But Gibbs didn't want to rush and risk screwing up what they could be.

Perusing the menu, they pointed out dishes they remembered from years ago and debated the merits of new ones before ordering. Gibbs and Celeste enjoyed food and service just as good as it was then and took a short walk before coming back to share a piece of pie for dessert. The signature pink fireworks for the festival were slated to be set off at Hains Point in the East Potomac Park so Gibbs and Celeste headed there early, hoping to get a decent spot. Gibbs carried the chairs while Celeste held extra blankets since temperatures were supposed to drop as it got later. They found a nice little relatively uncrowded knoll surrounded by trees and overlooking the water to set things up.

After both were settled his fingers slid through hers again. "Want to do breakfast before you head out in the morning?" He was not looking forward to watching her get on a plane and fly away from him again.

Celeste looked over. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. I switched my flight to an evening one so I wouldn't miss the lantern lighting ceremony." The three hundred and sixty year old Japanese Pagoda lantern had been given as a gift nearly sixty years before, symbolizing friendship and peace between Japan and the US. It was only lit once a year during the festival and seemed like something she'd want to experience.

His heart gave a little jump at the thought of having her around a little longer, even if it was just a few more hours. "You, uh, mind if I tag along?"

The smile she turned on him almost hurt because of the genuine delight behind it. "I certainly wouldn't turn an offer like that down."

Since the next day was Sunday he might be able to claim her company for a majority of the day, but that was something he could mention later. "Good." A peaceful half hour passed as they people watched and enjoyed the time together. Suddenly a thought popped into Gibbs' head and he got her attention. "I owe you a raincheck."

For the only time since her arrival Celeste tensed, almost withdrawing her hand from his except that he wasn't willing to let go. Recalling a crippling headache and his offer of a neck rub next time she was in town... She ached for his touch, the intimacy they'd once shared, but a quiet whisper in her heart warned, _Not yet_. She sighed, taking a moment to collect herself and even then not sure she trusted her voice to remain steady.

"I think we need to hold onto that particular raincheck Jethro. It's...safer that way."

Safer maybe and he understood, he really did, but despite the careful pace they'd set Gibbs now chafed at the restrictions that came with their caution. Only the determination to see this friendship into a real fulfilling relationship stopped him from arguing with her. "Okay," he returned quietly. "You let me know when." Leaving the decision to her meant he had to wait until they reached that elusive line where it was okay to be more. But however far away that day, one thing was for certain - he knew it would be worth it.

**NCIS**

**Sunday April 3**

"All Pikes on the court!" Darien ordered after they'd spent a good amount of time chatting and catching up on his down South adventure. His absence had been felt by all of them.

Adrian rolled his eyes. "So bossy and you haven't even been back a whole day. You must've missed us Red."

A month away had gone by so fast but Darien felt more at ease and relaxed than he'd been in years. In his family he was the middle child in a pack of siblings, he never had the luxury of being in charge. "Not like anyone at home lets me order them around."

"Save it all for me, huh?"

"You're a special case Zip."

Adrian stuck out his tongue and Emma felt like she was back in a room with her pre-schoolers, so she tugged him back towards her, offering a kiss as distraction from the playful argument. The other couples followed suit, the girls offering their guys the customary good luck kiss. Tony pecked Ziva's lips quickly and followed the others, but after a couple steps he spun back, slid his arm around her waist, cupped her cheek and captured her lips. One longer kiss and two short, all with feeling this time before he released her and joined the guys on the court.

Jordan tossed the orange sphere at him. "What are you trying to do, show us up?"

Tony bounced the ball a few times and grinned at Ziva, whose cheeks were a becoming shade of pink, proud of himself for making her blush. It was one of his favourite triumphs because they were so rare. "Nah, I just know what not to take for granted."

His words made the girls 'aww' and the guys pause, tucking that truth away to remember. To find love, happiness, and home as they had, both with their significant others and through their place in the group, was a blessing they should never forget to be grateful for. Tony knew what it was like to lose everything important and once in awhile the others needed to be reminded never to disregard the gift of their loved ones.

After a rousing game and the subsequent clean up and clothes change so the husbands were presentable to spend some time hanging out with their wives, Tony approached Ziva with a cocky smile on his face. She eyed him a bit warily. "What?"

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his shorts. "Well, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." One shoulder gave a little shrug. "I just felt like I had to tell you."

Her entire expression softened and she shook her head. "You're a brave man to come up to a woman and say that." She moved a bit closer. "And I've always thought bravery should be rewarded."

Tony's eyes lit up. "Yeah? What did you have in mind?"

"This." She tugged him down to her level and on instinct his arms came around her waist as they melted together, sharing a rather passionate kiss for being in full view of the others.

He let out a breath when they parted. "Wow. That was totally worth the razzing we're about to get." Even from several feet away he could feel his frat brothers staring.

Ziva tipped her head to the side. "You are always worth it Tony."

With his wife looking at him like that, it was impossible for Tony not to feel like the luckiest guy on the planet. Turning to the group he winked at the guys. As far as best reactions to pick up lines go, it would be hard to top that one.

**NCIS**

Next on the list of spring cleaning projects was their bedroom, which Tony warned his wife was dangerous simply because of location. Ziva smirked. "This will be a fully clothed activity."

He sighed as if totally deflated. "Way to ruin all my fun."

She patted his chest. "You will live."

"Maybe. But it won't be quite as much fun."

What followed was a fashion show of epic proportions that included trying on every stitch of clothing they owned and determining what was worth keeping. The discard pile grew much larger than expected and Ziva shook her head in disbelief. "We hardly even buy clothes, how did we end up with so many?"

Tony scratched his chin. "Beats me."

Once dressers and the closet sported significantly more space than before and a couple filled garbage bags sat in the doorway, Tony and Ziva turned their attention to bedside table contents. Tony got a bit distracted by the collection of love letters he stored in an old shoebox, left the empty blue velvet ringbox in its customary corner, and quickly decided that between those and intimacy supplies everything in the drawer was very necessary.

On her side Ziva also looked with fondness on the love letters, though she kept hers in a decorative box that used to be for recipes and separated them by each year of her marriage. She ran her fingers over the cover of their communication book from Honora, thankful that therapy tool hadn't been needed in some time. She passed over the things kept for under the cover activities and then saw a folded paper in the back corner.

Brow furrowing because she couldn't place it, Ziva pulled the sheet out and unfolded it. Seeing words written in Hebrew, she suddenly remembered and decided to share. "Tony."

He glanced towards her. "Hmm?"

"Come here for a moment please."

Instead of walking around the bed he stretched across it. "Whatcha got there?"

She leaned one arm on the mattress and lightly touched the lines. "This is the list I made in those first two weeks after returning home. The one on which I recorded the things I was going to do to fight for our marriage and show you the love I professed." A small smile played on her lips. "Number one was to be deliberate about kissing you good morning every day, to never allow more time than that to go by without connecting with you in some small way."

Tony couldn't read any of the Hebrew script but he could see where each new point began and tapped one partway down the list. "What's this?"

Ziva rested her head on his shoulder. "That I will try never to refuse your touch, even on those times when it made me uneasy."

"Which was a lot, in the beginning," he commented. "I'm so glad we're past all that initial stuff."

"Me too." He didn't ask about the others and her gaze was drawn to the sibling picture he'd done as a substitute for the original. She pressed her lips together, debating whether or not to share, and finally decided. "It did not blow up."

Unable to follow her train of thought, Tony suddenly felt lost. "What?"

Sighing, Ziva pointed. "You gave me that photo to replace the one from my old apartment. But it was not there at the time of explosion."

He frowned. "Yes it was Zi. I remember it crashing to the floor when Michael and I were fighting."

She closed her eyes, fighting the lump in her throat. "Hadar took it...before."

The news came as a complete surprise. "So...you got it back?"

Ziva hated any reminder of when they broke, but they were so much stronger now than on that rooftop. "In Israel," she whispered, "when I was searching for answers. I did not like the ones he gave me."

He chuckled rather than let emotion from that time overwhelm him, which would be all too easy. "Yeah, I saw the choke hold bruise. Remind me not to make you angry."

It was almost exactly what he'd said after her first case with them and she looked chagrined. "I would never-"

Tony interrupted her with his lips. "I know. Teasing Zi."

"Oh."

"What happened to the picture?" he prompted, getting them back on topic.

She twined his chain around her fingers. "It went down with the ship. I took the photo with me to remind me what I was fighting for and what mattered. But in the end nothing did."

He kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry it was still lost in the end." Choosing not to dwell, he pushed himself up. "Last one to the kitchen relinquishes right to Janna's last pastry!"

Tony took off and Ziva scrambled to her feet to follow, list fluttering to the floor as she dashed after her husband. Considering the headstart, he beat her to the counter but faced her and braced for the impact of her body, locking his arms around her. "I win," he murmured into her hair. "But ask nicely and I might give you a bite."

In response Ziva claimed his lips in a heated kiss that threw off any logical thought. He returned it with equal fervor and as soon as she broke away Ziva gleefully snatched the pastry while he was distracted and took a large bite, grinning triumphantly through her full mouth.

Mock outrage flashed on his face and Tony lunged forward, grabbing what was left between his teeth and cramming it into his mouth. "Ha!"

She swallowed and licked her fingers slowly. "Married people are supposed to share."

Dark, hungry eyes drank in her action and he was about to suggest something else married people share when his cellphone went off. Releasing a disappointed breath, Tony grabbed it from the coffee table on the third ring. "Better not be work," he groused. The job too often interrupted things between him and Ziva. He coughed to mask the desire flooding him and answered. "DiNozzo."

"Anthony?" a very familiar and at this moment unwelcome voice said. "I'm glad I finally caught you."

"Dad?" His brow furrowed and he glanced at Ziva. She pointed to the office, silently asking if he wanted privacy. Tony hesitated, unsure if he needed her support for this. Meira came over and nudged her leash and he nodded. Figuring he could handle a few minutes of conversation without being directly supervised.

"Sorry we've been playing phone tag son. I promise I'm not avoiding you."

Tony waved goodbye to Ziva and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I uh...usually I'd think that, but not after you made the effort at Christmas. We're both busy, it happens."

"I don't want to make that an excuse," Senior insisted. "So, how've you been?"

Tony gave an awkward chuckle, this was so much different than what he was used to. "Well...y'know, work takes most of my time. I, uh...got into a fight with a suspect last week." His laugh was self-depreciating. "Being scrappy wasn't enough this time."

"Oh?" Senior hoped his surprise sounded genuine. He'd decided not to share about his conversation with Ziva, he didn't want to get her in trouble with her partner. "I hope it wasn't serious."

"No. Well...yeah. But I'm feeling a lot better." The pause lasted a little too long to be comfortable. "And what about you Dad? You-you good?"

The two DiNozzo men who did not communicate well but desired an improved relationship chatted for a few more minutes about insignificant things before Tony found a reason he had to go. He was sitting on the arm of the couch when Ziva and Meira got back. Ziva put her hand on his shoulder. "How did it go?"

Tony shrugged. "Good, I guess? Not bad for our first attempt. But actually talking is going to take some practice I think."

"You will figure it out," she told him confidently.

He squeezed her fingers. "I'll let you believe for me honey, I'm going to take a little more convincing." He wanted to have a good honest relationship with his dad, but it would be a very long time before he could trust the man again. Senior had broken it far too many times for Tony to get his hopes up just yet.

**NCIS**

That evening Gibbs walked Celeste past the airport check in desks, fingers still linked, prolonging the inevitable as long as possible. "I had a really good time this week," he shared quietly, his mood subdued at the thought of being alone again.

"Me too. It was really good to see you Jethro, to spend time together. I forgot how much I'd missed that."

Gibbs swallowed and wrapped her in a hug. Celeste buried her face in his shoulder. "This one is going to have to last me for a long time," she commented, her words muffled against him.

He turned his face into her hair, allowing himself to breath the familiar scent. Gibbs hoped the fragrance of her perfume would linger in his house far longer than it should after this, so he could pretend she was somewhere nearby.

At last they had to let go. Celeste blinked back tears. "I'm being silly, right? It won't be two more years before we see each other."

His thumb brushed away one that escaped. "Definitely won't be two more years." Gibbs would be lucky if he lasted three months before he couldn't take being away from her anymore. Maybe he'd go out for her birthday in June and surprise her.

She leaned in to kiss his cheek, lingering for a long moment. "I'll talk to you soon."

He pressed her fingers as she stepped away. "Bye Les. Take care."

"You too."

Celeste walked down the hall, not allowing herself to look back and Gibbs heart got heavier and heavier with each foot of space that grew between them. He'd struggled to leave things innocent with just a kiss on the cheek instead of what he really wanted, but that hadn't made the separation any easier. He was a grown man, not a boy with a crush. It wasn't supposed to hurt this bad.

As she waited at the gate for her boarding call, she pulled out her cellphone and dialed Gibbs' house, knowing he wouldn't get a message right away. "Gibbs, talk," his answering machine growled and she waited for the beep. "Jethro, it's me." Celeste blew out a breath. "I'm not even on the plane yet and I already miss you." She paused. "I...need some distance from all the emotion of the last week. Being around you again...it was different than I expected, harder when we're still so undefined. I can't call this week but we'll talk in the next one, okay? Thank you for everything." She narrowly held back the 'I love you' on the tip of her tongue and sat back, thoroughly rung out from another goodbye she hadn't wanted to say.

The minute she was on the plane in the business class seat she'd splurged for, Celeste pulled a familiar sweater from her bag and slipped it on. Wearing his sweater back to the hotel after their lantern guided walk the other night had been accidental, packing it into her carry on entirely on purpose. She hoped he'd forgive her for the indulgence, but she just wanted to curl up with it on and spend the whole flight breathing in his scent while she fought and lost the battle against tears. Suddenly she wasn't sure how they were ever going to make this work.

**NCIS**

**Monday April 4**

Nine days was a very long time when it related to certain things. In this case, when it was nine days of a few innocent touches and kisses, some fooling around, but no actual sex, a week and a half was starting to feel like an eternity to Tony. Ziva clearly felt the lack too because she'd been gazing heatedly at him since they got to work and two hours later the desire she was silently broadcasting had begun driving him crazy.

Something about their good morning kiss before getting out of bed got Ziva thinking about the way he'd kissed her yesterday and it had been in the forefront of her mind since before they got to the office. She didn't, however, realize Tony had noticed until he IM'd her from across the bullpen_. If you keep looking at me with bedroom eyes we're going to miss lunch_.

Her eyebrows rose and she checked for Gibbs before replying. _Oh, and why is that?_

_Because I'm going to have to drag you home and do something about the invitation I've been seeing in your eyes all morning._

A sly smile curved her lips. _I don't know what you're talking about._

He practically growled as he jabbed keys to form the letters of her name. _Ziva!_

She merely shrugged innocently and shut down the conversation. A week and a half after the beating he was almost healed up and she hoped okay for more...strenuous physical activity later. Neither of them were used to abstaining this long anymore.

They ran home at lunch, but not for food. A quickie almost made things worse though because the couple hadn't had nearly enough minutes available to make for a satisfying encounter. Something was definitely better than nothing and after returning to his desk Tony made a point of not looking at his wife. The little smirk she wore was enough to undo him right there. If Gibbs or McGee noticed their uncharacteristic behaviour it went unmentioned and the only thing that threw a slight wrench into his otherwise upbeat mood was the appearance of EJ.

She stopped by the bullpen on her way down from a meeting with the direction and hovered near Tony's desk. "Looks like I'm going to be doing some traveling. I'll be gone for a few days, in case you miss me."

He offered what he hoped looked like a congenial smile, but inside he was wishing she'd give him an opportunity to miss her. So far that hadn't happened yet. But he wasn't about to waste any energy thinking about the troublesome new girl while planning a steamy rendevous with his wife once they were free of the building, which didn't happen until a few hours later. Then the minute they were off the clock Ziva smiled brightly and wished them all a good night (she'd driven her own car back to the office so they didn't arrive at the same time).

Tony, on the other hand, chafed at the necessity of staying in his seat long enough to finish up some important senior field agent paperwork. Then he muttered through a goodbye to Gibbs and pushed the speed limit all the way home. With a little time to prepare Ziva had lit candles scattered around their room and was waiting for him on the bed in lingerie she'd bought during vacation, wearing her special Tijon perfume that got the desired reaction from him every time. He undressed in record time and lay beside her.

"Are you feeling better Tony?" she asked, eyes twinkling.

"Oh, believe me babe," he grinned, sliding his hand into her fabulous wavy hair, "I am in full working order."

"Prove it," Ziva demanded, claiming his mouth.

So Tony took his time and did just that. The end result was two sated and relaxed people. His only regret was that the clock only read half-past seven, which didn't leave him with an excuse to stay in bed with his gorgeous wife for the rest of the night. When her heartrate had returned to normal Ziva kissed his chest and sat up. "Time to get back to spring cleaning." He made a face and she arched one eyebrow. "That was the deal we made - bedroom activities first, cleaning after."

Tony sighed but gave in, she had a point. "Okay," he bargained, "but how about a quick shower first and then more spring cleaning?"

Though she tried to keep a stern face her lips twitched and she drew out the suspense, then nodded. "Yes." She wasn't necessarily ready either to shorten intimate time with her husband.

Warm and fresh from the shower the couple dressed in comfy clothes and headed for the closet facing the kitchen. It was kind of a strange place to put one, on the outside of the office rather than inside, and as a result they rarely paid any attention to its existence. Tony opened the doors and surveyed the boxes stacked within. "Whoa. Babe, I think there's still stuff here from when we moved in."

She nodded, hands on hips. "We just shoved things in here and forgot about them."

"Oughta be some surprises in these boxes then," he commented, lifting the nearest one out.

Upon opening several they found household items that had been extras when they combined their possessions and put them immediately by the door for donation. Then came some clothes that hadn't fit in their room at the time and more books from Ziva's extensive solo collection. "Old friends," she murmured, taking them out one by one. Tony had a feeling the extra space they'd just made on the office shelves would soon be filled again by these.

The clothing boxes contained some of Tony's more expensive suits, and after pulling them all out he chose one to keep and packed the rest away to go. They really weren't his style anymore. A box of DVDs came next and he huffed a frustrated breath. "Dang it! I thought I lost these. I've probably already replaced most of them."

Ziva laid her hand sympathetically on his back. "Well, now you can pass them on for others to enjoy."

"Yeah, I guess," but he lamented the waste of money.

Near the bottom Tony hefted out a small trunk. "I don't recognize this."

Ziva ran her hand over the lid, brushing away a layer of dust, and he could see 'ZMD' stamped into the leather. "It was kind of a secret."

Studying her expression, he tilted his head. "Still keeping secrets from me after all this time David?"

Her head came up, gaze narrowing as she tried to discern whether his tone implied how he felt about past secrets. But she saw nothing in her husband's face to indicate that and relaxed, offering a soft smile. "I thought you preferred to brand me with DiNozzo."

His answering half-grin was quick and he leaned in, covering her mouth with his. "That's how I prefer to brand you Mrs. DiNozzo. But I always know you're mine no matter what name we use."

Ziva took the trunk from him, placing it on the overhanging part of the counter meant for barstools to fit under, though they'd yet to give it that purpose. "I did not show you this in the beginning because I thought telling about Ari was heavy enough for the start of our marriage. I had always meant to show you eventually, but as time went on it was one of those things pushed to the back of my mind and rarely thought about."

She fingered the latch on the front, quickly thumbing through the numbered combination until she hit the right one, and when it clicked open she lifted the lid. "Tony, this is a part of my past you have asked about before but I never wanted to answer. There are many things about my time in Mossad that can never be shared, but I will tell you any of the stories you want to know surrounding these items."

Overcome by curiosity, Tony's eyes scanned the assortment of things inside. His eyebrows drew together. "I don't get it, what is all this stuff?"

"Mementos," Ziva explained, "from my missions. Tali was so persistent in her desire for me not to miss out on life because of my job, so I always tried to find one bright spot, something good no matter what I had been ordered to do, so I could bring it home and tell her about something that did not involve killing and death. There are also souvenirs from rare vacations and time off with my brothers. You are welcome to look through them."

"Wow." Tony couldn't help but feel she'd just handed him a huge, hidden part of her heart and wanted to treat it with the reverence such a revelation deserved. He picked out a hand carved whistle to start and held it up.

"From a young boy to express his thanks when we removed a threat from his village."

A colourful beaded bracelet came next. "A woman I worked with in a street market who sold jewellery made that for me. Her name was Dala."

Underneath a handwoven shawl she'd acquired on her travels he found a heavy coffee table book of European sights and scenery that drew her back in time. "Tali and I used to page through this and mark all the places we wanted to see someday."

Once that was removed, Ziva gasped excitedly drew out the next thing. "My blouse from Veracruz! And the jacket!" She hugged them to her chest, then held each out one at a time for his inspection. Tony didn't think he'd ever seen his practical wife so excited about clothes before. "I was afraid they had been lost when I moved to DC the first time. I am so glad they are found."

He chuckled, fingering the material. "You were right, they're really beautiful." His lips brushed her cheek. "I'll have to take you back to get the matching skirt, then you'll have a whole outfit."

Ziva couldn't contain her delight. "I cannot wait to wear them again. Maybe tomorrow."

Among other things the trunk contained a special chef's knife from her time undercover in a restaurant kitchen, a small collection of handcrafted jewellery - mostly earrings and necklaces, an embroidered coin purse, a wrapped candle, two elephant figurines - matching ones purchased for her and Tali by Ari, a wooden box containing traditional games from her native land, a rainstick, a doll sewed by a grateful mother (though Ziva left out the part where she'd said it was a gift to be passed onto the then-officer's own daughter so she would know how brave her Ima was), a carved bowl and spoon, a puzzle box she'd brought home to amuse her sister, a painted clay vase she watched the potter make and fell in love with, a traditional headscarf, postcards from every place she'd ever been, a Swiss watch, a small Indian silk pillow, two different styles of kaftans - an elaborately decorated knee length jacket and a blue embroidered dress, and a few other things acquired through eight years of missions.

He was a bit overwhelmed at the end, even though every story she told was carefully edited to share only what he needed to know about how she received a gift. Tony stood behind her and slid his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. "Thank you honey. It's like getting to know a whole new side of you."

"You deserved to know as much as I can share with you." Soft lips touched his, then Ziva looked back at the closet. "We are almost done, one last pile of boxes."

It was decided that anything except those very important but forgotten items of sentimental value should be discarded. If they hadn't used or missed the things in four and a half years, they probably weren't that necessary. Then, tucked away in the back corner Tony discovered his guitar and stared at it. "I almost forgot about this." He'd used it during his assignment with Jeanne and must've shoved it in the closet to try and keep from remembering that unpleasant time.

Ziva tilted her head. "I do not think I have ever heard you play."

He lifted the instrument from the case and strummed, wincing at how out of tune it had gotten. "I don't think you want to hear me play now either." Tony put the guitar back but she noticed he set the case carefully off to the side and had a feeling she would get a chance to hear him play someday soon.

**NCIS**

Brent found his wife standing in front of the window in their room after Ryan was in bed and came up behind her quietly. She was holding the necklace he'd given her for Christmas, a diamond chipped infinity sign, and staring out at the stars. A smile crept over his lips and he got in her space, loving that she was no longer startled when he got close because she was so used to having him around. "Your lips look lonely...would they like to meet mine?"

CJ chuckled. "That is a very lame pick up line Mr. Mackay."

His eyebrows rose. "Does that mean it won't work?"

She linked her fingers behind his neck. "I didn't say that."

Leaning in, their lips met and he savoured the connection as if it was the initial one instead of something they did every day. He sighed against her skin when they broke apart for air. "I kissed you for the first time a year ago today."

"I know. That's what I was thinking about." CJ traced his mouth with the tip of one finger. "I was already done, committed to our future before that moment, but looking back I still don't know how I found the courage to get used to this, to us. After Ryan I was so sure I'd be alone forever. Thank you beloved, for taking me away from that lonely future, for giving my son a father who loves him deeply enough that blood doesn't matter. And for being the kind of husband that I could only dream about once upon a time."

Brent captured her lips again, eager to reinforce everything she said and felt. "So far the greatest gifts in my life have come from the most unexpected places. But I think I'll take a page out of Cassie's book and just say 'thank you'." He sighed. "God knew how much I needed you two."

She undid the top button on his shirt, resting her hand inside on his chest, a gesture now as familiar as breathing. "And we would have been utterly lost without you. I love you so much Brent."

In lieu of words he pulled her even closer, letting his mouth and his tender touch share everything that was in his heart. If this was how pick up lines were received he'd be using them often from now on. Surely this had to be the best response any of them had gotten. He was clearly in the lead.

**NCIS**

**Tuesday April 5**

By the time they got to their fourth day of spring cleaning Tony was ready to throw his hands up and admit defeat. "How can we have this much stuff?" They'd already made it through the bathroom and spare room since they got home - which didn't contain all that much to start with - but it was the principle of the matter.

Ziva joined him in the center of their main room and looked slowly around. "Four and a half years in one house is rather significant. I've never been in the same place long enough to accumulate possessions since I was very young."

That switch of perspective changed his tune in a hurry and he slung his arm across her shoulder, smiling. "Maybe it's not such a bad thing then. What's next?"

"The garage," Ziva decided.

Unlike some garages, which couldn't even be used for cars because they were packed so full of other stuff, theirs was relatively well kept. Aside from a small array of Tony's tools for basic home repairs and vehicle maintenance, there was also a shelving unit holding Christmas decorations, sleeping bags, and gardening necessities. Their bikes were parked off to the side, the lawn mower next, the tool area, standing freezer, and garbage can. Ski suits were hung on hooks above the coiled hose and extension cords. Besides organizing and repositioning some things there wasn't much to do out there, though they did make sure everything was needed and not just collected, so they were soon back inside.

Remembering they'd stopped at clothes and hadn't touched shoes and bags, Ziva led the way back to their room. They slid the in-wall closet doors all the way open and Tony took on travel bags while Ziva went through her purses. He finished first, enabling him to get a start on his shoes before Ziva got to hers. She made a point of showing him her Veracruz boots and commented that she'd have to wear them soon because she remembered that pair being extremely comfortable. Then she came across a find that sat her back on her heels. "Oh."

Tony glanced at her, brow furrowed at the sight of a pink something in her hand. "What?" Ziva held it up, shaking out the wrinkles, and he suddenly recognized the size zero dress he'd sent her out to purchase so they could celebrate their third anniversary a couple months late. "How'd that get missed?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "I think it fell off the hanger and landed behind my shoe rack. I did not even notice this missing."

He touched the material. "I don't think that's a bad thing." At Ziva's questioning look he elaborated. "You'll never fit into that dress again if you stay at a healthy weight, which I'm counting on. She remembered the night she'd come home wearing it and Tony picked up that train of thought. "You looked great, but we don't need a reminder of how far things were from normal at that point. Can we get rid of it?"

"Yes," Ziva agreed, smoothing the fabric out. "I like myself better now."

"I like you best this way too, when I don't have to worry or coax you to eat more than would keep a bird alive. In fact," Tony snapped his fingers like he had a great idea, "let's finish this later." He pulled a protesting Ziva to her feet. "I want to take you shopping. It's high time you had a new dress or outfit or something." She tried to argue but he cupped her cheek and kissed her softly. "You hardly ever buy anything for yourself Zi. I want to treat you tonight." As far as he remembered, Paris and then St. Martin were the last times she got something new. His wife was the only woman he knew who had to be talked into clothes shopping.

Ziva couldn't help but reflect his excitement. "Okay. This will all still be here tomorrow."

Tony grinned and stretched his arm towards the door. "Your carriage awaits Lady Ziva. May I have the honour of escorting you this evening?"

She tucked her hand around his elbow and played along. "You may, good sir. And thank you."

"For you Zi," he whispered in her ear, "anything." And she knew he'd already proved in so many ways that fact was one hundred percent true. Ziva had married an incredible man and he would have to be told more often how very much she appreciated him for simply being who he was.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday April 6**

The last places on their spring cleaning list was the kitchen and livingroom. Ziva was surprised to find many things in the cupboards and drawers that they never actually used and quite willing to part with them. Before he got to the point of going through his precious movies, Tony volunteered to go out and grab them something to eat. Ziva realized he was stalling but took pity on her husband and offered her suggestion for food but told him to get whatever. She planned to finish up in the kitchen and start on her movie shelves, but after turning on the TV for company a jumping competition caught her attention and she sank down on the couch, totally enthralled.

When Tony returned half an hour later she was still frozen in time, staring at the screen. As she wasn't that big on TV in general unless they were watching something together, he was very interested in what could be so interesting. Thinking better of interrupting her focus, he put their meal on plates and when it went to commercial he dropped down next to her and set one on her lap. "What're we watching?"

"Hm?" Ziva came out of her stupor and gazed at the food in front of her. "When did you get back?"

Tony snickered. "Wow, you were really zoned out. What's the occasion?"

She gestured at the screen. "Horse jumping. I haven't seen a competition for a very long time and forgot how much I enjoy it." She paused for a bite. "Dod Asher was just starting to teach Dror and I when Ima died. He wanted to distract me from the situation and when we stayed for the summer I had ample opportunity to practice." A faraway expression claimed her face. "I have not tried since, but I will never forget that brief feeling of flying and being one with my mount as we sailed over those jumps." Ziva smiled fondly. "It is a very good memory."

Tony shook his head. "I never know what I'm going to learn about you next." This week had been enlightening to say the least.

She nodded. "Keeps the mystery alive I suppose."

"Ever thought of asking them to set up jumps at the barn? Maybe you and Jules could give it a try sometime."

Just as she had with dancing Ziva pretty much dismissed the idea. "Perhaps," she said non-committally, going back to supper.

After several moments of silence passed, Tony ventured a question. "Zi, what happened to your horse?" If he'd lived Dror would've been nineteen by now, but she never spoke like he was still around somewhere.

A sigh pushed past her lips. "Dod passed from a heart attack eleven years ago. Doda Chana was heartbroken without him and sold everything - the house, farm, and animals, including Dror. She was not the same after that. I was eighteen and away with the IDF so I never got to say goodbye. Doda moved to a small apartment near Aunt Nettie and died within a few months - without Dod she had nothing left to live for." Ziva drew a shaky breath. "They were married for forty-three years."

He ran his fingers through his hair. She really had lost everyone who mattered after her mom. Tony clasped her fingers gently. "I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodbye." To the horse and her family.

"I tried to find him once, when my service was up, he had a lot of years left in his life. But with nowhere to keep him even if I succeeded, I eventually gave up." She stared out the window. "Dror may still be alive. I hope, wherever he is, that he had a good life."

They watched the program to its end and Tony remained deep in though. Whatever happened for the rest of their years together, he determined to do everything in his power to make sure she never had to go through that kind of loss again. After all the terrible experiences she had it was the least he could do. And though he couldn't control much of life, he loved her too much not to try.

_Replies:_

_Melissa - thank you :) lol...well, I can't make any promises. I always have a hard time finding a reason for T&amp;Z to argue or be angry with each other. If you have any suggestions you're welcome to pass them on. I think it'll be good for Z, proactively doing something to banish the past from her body. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Allie - I usually say I can't guarantee anything with updates, but hopefully I can now. It's a huge relief to have this part over, frees me up to work on a couple non-story related projects that also have deadlines. Yeah, the last few weeks have been A LOT of work to get to this point. Thanks, glad you liked it. That's okay, I know the OCs aren't for everyone. Haha...yeah, that was a bit of a surprise to me too, but I thought it was kind of neat to introduce Celeste to one of the frat bros. That will come up again much, much later on in the story ;) Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	51. 8x20 Two-Faced

**Thursday April 7**

Ziva's phone rang as she walked into the building wearing her Veracruz boots (which were as comfortable as she remembered), along with the decorated shirt and jacket, and she showed her ID to the guard before pressing the up button for the elevator. "David."

"Well if it isn't the woman who puts a smile on my face just by existing. How are you darling?"

She placed the voice within a moment and frowned at the caller's identity, stepping into the car when the doors opened. "Rob? How did you get this number?"

He chuckled. "You'd be amazed the details one can find out by knowing the right people."

Yes, that's what she was afraid of. Hearing him after so long was disconcerting and Ziva searched for an appropriate topic. "Did you need something?" Weekly emails were one thing, phone calls another.

"Can't one friend call another just to say hi?"

She exited the elevator. "Of course. I'm just surprised. It has been awhile."

"Too long Ziva, something I hope to remedy soon. I've missed you."

Ziva dropped her bag behind her desk. "We talk every week."

"Emails are never the same as face to face."

She moved outside the bullpen to walk along the window. "I don't see my schedule allowing a trip to Florida anytime soon." _Or ever._

"You never know, I might suddenly find myself in DC and have to look you up."

Wouldn't that be a logistical nightmare? "I'm sorry Rob, I need to start work. We can talk later."

"Oh," he grinned, "I'm counting on it."

Ziva hung up and stared at the phone, brow furrowed. Tony leaned crossed arms on the partition. "Something you want to share with the class Zee-vah?"

She returned to her desk. "Rob might be coming to visit." His confusion fit her own.

"Yeah?" McGee perked up. "That sounds promising."

Ziva shrugged. "I would not say that."

"When do we get to meet him?"

"All in good time McGee."

"What are you afraid of?" Tony pried, his mind racing through the implication of Rob suddenly showing up. The guys was CIA after all and worthy of concern.

Her eyes narrowed. "I am not afraid."

"Then you're hiding something," he countered.

"I'm not hiding anything. Rob has heard many stories about the people I work with, especially a certain partner who is too nosy for his own good."

Tony sat back in his chair, his gaze wandering slowly over her attire, and he was forced to show his appreciation for the newly discovered clothes in a way that didn't include saying anything out loud. "I'm not the one you should be worried about, Gibbs is. I've seen men of steel melt at a mere glance from our fearless leader. That flinty, ice blue stare turns tough guys into sniveling little girls." He started to imitate an example when Gibbs appeared. Tony cleared his throat. "Oh. Good morning Boss."

Gibbs' expression never changed. "Grab your gear. Got a dead naval officer in Virginia."

Tony and Ziva locked gazes on the way out, knowing they needed to come up with a plan or things were about to get really messy.

**NCIS**

Even with the earlier out of the blue phone call Ziva was still so caught off guard to turn around during the briefing and find Rob standing there that she almost dropped the remote. He smiled. "Hi."

Confusion coloured her expression. "I thought you were in Miami."

"I didn't actually say that. I called you from the plane."

"This is...unexpected," she managed.

Tony stepped up beside her. "Care to make introductions Ziva?"

Ziva forced a smile and moved so she faced all three of them. "Um, right, of course. Rob Crewe, this is my boss Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

Rob shook his hand. "A pleasure sir."

Gibbs didn't return the sentiment and she continued. "Special Agent Timothy McGee."

"Hi," he offered.

"How do you do?" Rob nodded.

"And my partner, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo."

Tony's grip was firm. "Mr. Crewe."

"It's good to finally meet the people Ziva talks about so often." At their raised eyebrows he held up his hands in reassurance. "All good things, I promise."

"Can't say the same," Gibbs put in. "Ziva's been keeping the details to herself."

"In my line of work," Rob shared, "I've learned it's a good idea to separate your professional and private lives."

"And what line of work might that be?" Tony asked, folding his arms over his chest.

"In thirteen years at the Agency I've seen my share of things go wrong."

Both Tony and McGee looked at Gibbs to gauge his reaction. "You're CIA."

"Funny, Ziva didn't let us in on that little detail."

Ziva shrugged. "It never came up."

"It's what I do, not who I am," Rob said philosophically.

Tony opened his mouth and Ziva tried to head off the retort. "Well, we are in the middle of a case. I'm afraid catching up will have to wait."

Gibbs studied her. "Give him a tour. Case'll still be here."

That threw them all off and left her with no choice. She couldn't even risk glancing at her partner for help in case someone noticed. "Sure," Ziva said slowly, "we can start downstairs."

As soon as they were out of earshot Tony shoved his hands in his pockets. "I don't like him."

McGee shrugged. "He didn't seem so bad, except for the CIA part."

"Ziva doesn't need a spook in her life, not when she just got away from all that."

"DiNozzo," Gibbs' tone was a warning.

Tony stared at the back elevator for another moment, then sighed. "Back to work, got it." But until he could be alone with his wife again he'd find it difficult to breathe easy.

**NCIS**

Tony gritted his teeth when the man of the hour himself came out of a bathroom stall just as he was washing his hands. "Agent Crewe."

"Special Agent DiNozzo."

"So," he did his best to sound casual, "how long are you in town?"

Rob turned the water on. "As long as Ziva will have me for."

That didn't bode well. Tony frowned. "You're taking a chance on her hospitality with an unexpected visit of no certain length."

"The things one will do for a woman," Rob mused. "It's worth the risk."

"And why's that?"

A small smile claimed Rob's lips as he reached for the paper towel. "Because I'm in love with her." Tony's mouth fell open. _Oh crap_. "That's why I'm here, to tell her."

_Double crap_, Tony thought, wanting to wince. From Rob's expression he could tell the man was sincere and this was going south fast. "I...uh...wow."

Rob chuckled. "I can see that comes as a shock. But some things are too private to share with coworkers, even a partner."

"You-you've never even dated or anything," Tony managed.

"What do you call seven months of exchanging emails? It's not unheard of for people to have entire relationships through correspondence."

_Only in this era_, Tony mused. "So, uh, when are you going to tell her?" _And how is she going to handle it?_ He knew they already had plans to meet for dinner, Ziva had shared that information in a text message so he was warned if she didn't come home right away.

"I don't know," the other man admitted. "Tonight. Tomorrow. Soon." He sighed. "Feels good to finally say it out loud."

"I'll bet," Tony agreed, remembering back to the night he'd blurted out the words, unable to keep those feelings inside any longer.

Rob faced him. "Ziva's told me how close you and she are. Frankly, I'm amazed you didn't make a move on her a long time ago. But some people are destined to be friends, not lovers. You're an important part of her life, I'd like us to be friends as well. I want to get to know your whole team, to spend time with the people who have cared about and shaped the woman I love."

Tony rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, she's been through a lot in the last year, so don't get your hopes up too high. Your news might catch her off guard."

Rob eyed him a bit suspiciously. "Don't say anything to Ziva please. I want her to hear it from me." His phone beeped and he pulled it out, shifting to business mode as he left.

Tony tossed his paper towel into the garbage. "Two points."

Rob stopped at Ziva's desk. "Something came up. I need to leave for a little while."

She nodded slowly. "Okay. Are we still on for tonight?"

He grinned. "Definitely. I'll call you when I'm done, it shouldn't take too long."

"Bye," Ziva called as he rushed to catch the elevator.

Tony wandered through the bullpen towards his chair. "Somebody sure left in a hurry."

"He has work to do."

"Yeah, so do we," Gibbs put in as she rounded the corner. "Tell me what we got."

The conversation Tony was desperate to have with his wife would have to wait. He joined Gibbs in front of the plasma and Ziva answered her phone. While McGee recounted what they'd found so far, Tony tried to keep his mind on the case but Rob's confession was circling over and over like a record on repeat and made the task difficult. Tim revealed that someone had been using their dead man's debit card over the past few days and then Ziva got off her call with some more useful information.

"Seaman Balfour's building manager says someone has been staying in his apartment since last Friday."

"Day after he was murdered," Tony observed.

"You got a description?"

"White male, unknown age." Rather unhelpful.

"Is he there now?" Gibbs demanded.

"The manager saw him go into the unit this morning but he never came out."

The team leader headed to his desk for his gun and badge but Tony locked gazes with Ziva and couldn't seem to look away. Gibbs realized after a few seconds that no one was moving and dolled out the assignment. "DiNozzo come on, let's go."

Ziva noted her partner's reluctance to obey orders and watched him thoughtfully as he followed Gibbs out. Something had happened between Rob's arrival and when he left that had set her husband on edge. It seemed like more than just the usual jealousy and discomfort of being around a man who was attracted to her. She hoped they had an opportunity soon to talk about what was going on and how they should handle it.

**NCIS**

Gibbs and Tony cleared the apartment, which didn't take long because it wasn't all that big. "Tidy," he commented. "Not a thing out of place."

The older man was in the kitchen staring at a kitchen chair leaning upside down against the refrigerator door. "Except for this."

Gibbs moved it out of the way while Tony came over, already sliding his fingers into gloves. The door was opened slowly and they both looked inside warily. "That is one empty fridge."

The freezer came next and Tony pulled out the lone item inside - an ice cube tray filled with frozen water. He dumped it out gently on the table and they examined the contents. Inside one of the cubes was a single blossom. Both he and Gibbs took a closer look and Tony frowned. "What the heck is that?"

Agent Barrett walked into the room without them noticing and surprisingly enough the sound of an unexpected voice didn't make them jump and grab for their guns. "He likes leaving things behind."

To say Tony was taken aback by her appearance would be a huge understatement. After a blissful three weeks without her cloying presence he was not at all impressed to see her showing up now, and at their crime scene. Ziva was not going to be happy about this, especially on the heels of another unwanted arrival this morning.

Gibbs straightened. "What, you just happened to be in the neighbourhood Special Agent Barrett?" He always said her name with a shadow of disdain in his voice.

EJ went straight to the table and picked up the ice cube in question. "A flower, huh? That's a new one." She put it down and moved away. "I'm gonna take a look around and see what else I can find."

"See what you can find?" Tony echoed, wondering just who she thought she was. The MCRT didn't invite or need tagalongs.

Gibbs' expression clearly wanted an explanation and she began giving one before anyone had to ask as she wandered through the room. "I've been tracking this killer for the past nine months - three dead Navy men in three different ports."

"What's your connection?"

She faced both agents. "Case started in Rota. Seaman Balfour's murder fits the pattern, right down to the funny little ice cubes. My killer, my case."

Gibbs was not impressed to have been kept in the dark or with the new girl assuming she could just take over as lead agent. He particularly didn't like the slight reworking of Rule 38 either.

If not for the fact that it was a creepy clue they now knew related to a killer, Tony would've found it a touching, romantic gesture, something he'd like to try for Ziva. As it was, he made a mental note regarding the flower and got back to the task at hand, which was infinitely more complicated now that EJ thought she was in charge. Gibbs was not just going to roll over and take her intrusion. He sensed an epic showdown coming between Director Vance and their formidable team leader.

Back at the office there was a small space of time when Tony was alone on his side of the partition and EJ was alone on hers. Without looking back, she spoke. "You're quiet."

He didn't recall inviting comments from the enemy camp. "I'm pensive," he returned shortly.

She chuckled throatily, though it didn't have near the effect on him coming from her as when Ziva did the same thing. "You don't like it when I play boss lady, huh?"

Tony cleared his throat and glanced around the floor to be sure they were still alone. "I'm not paid to have an opinion about orders from the director's office. But you could've mentioned you were here to take over when you first arrived, and I don't mean just the other side of the wall. You showed up at our crime scene, sifted through our evidence."

EJ shrugged one shoulder. "Technically it was my crime scene, my evidence." She glanced over at him. "Maybe I would've shared if you ever gave me an opening." He was still playing hard to get and she was losing patience with the game.

Tony shifted uneasily. Where was Ziva when he needed a buffer? He was starting to feel very uncomfortable. "It's better if we stay on separate sides."

She snorted. "Don't tell me you're scared of career focused women. I've seen you with your partner." And she'd had minimal if any luck coming between the tight-knit pair.

He clenched his teeth. "My partner is none of your business."

EJ couldn't help notice the possessiveness infused in the word 'my'. "Something there, yeah?"

Counting to ten in his head, Tony threw out their patented line. "Just partners." _In every form of the word_. And perhaps he'd never wanted to admit to being married more than this moment.

"That's good to know," she commented lightly, though the truthfulness of his statement was questionable based on what she'd seen. "I prefer to do things without competition."

_Lady, you've got your work cut out for you._ "I need to get back to work Agent Barrett."

EJ didn't seem in the least bit bothered by his attitude. "Whatever you say DiNozzo. I go after what I want."

"You're wasting your time," he muttered.

But instead of following up on the comment EJ huffed and looked up at the skylight. "That thing is ticking me off." She began moving her computer and shifting anything else that wasn't bolted down. For once he was glad her OCD had kicked in, it saved him from what could've become a very awkward moment. Still, he didn't entirely escape because seconds later his wife sauntered into the bullpen, the look on her face speaking volumes about what she had seen and perhaps heard. If it wasn't for the invader across the wall he would've apologized right then, but for now it had to wait.

Thankfully only minutes after their conversation ended EJ took off without explanation and Tony crossed the room to sit on the edge of Ziva's desk. "How much of that did you hear?"

Ziva kept her attention on her computer screen. "Enough to know that you are saying things she does not want to hear." She knew now how he'd felt during the case with Jerry. Today especially she was very done with the game. "I am so weary of listening to her throw herself at you."

He placed his hand over hers. "You know I do my best not to invite her attention."

"Maybe you should do better!" she snapped, then dropped her head into her hands. "I'm sorry. That was not fair."

Tony rubbed her shoulders. Between Rob and EJ they were being tested quite significantly. "I've spent a lot of time as the jealous one. I think you've earned a turn. Speaking of which-"

He was about to confide in her what Rob had shared about his plans, but just then McGee came back and they lost all semblance of privacy, so their talk would have to take place the next time they could manage a moment alone.

**NCIS**

Frowning as he left the Leon's office, Gibbs thought about the subtle differences in their director over the last several months. Ever since he was in the hospital Vance seemed to be going back to the hard to know man he'd been when he first took over from Jenny. The change was unsettling. And while the introduction to and debrief on the Port-to-Port killer case was useful information, being told to get over himself and let someone else steel what his team was working on left him very unsettled. At least the mystery of why EJ showed up and then hung around with no team and no active cases was solved - the last clue the killer left suggested he was on the way to the States, so she was brought in as a preemptive measure. It also sounded like she wouldn't be a permanent fixture, something that brought relief.

His next stop was an update so Gibbs made his way to lab and saw Abby scratching at her neck. "Got anything Abbs?"

She walked him through what she'd found - that the killer knew plants, had used as the murder weapon, and the cleaner Ducky found on the body was only sold to hospitals. "Maybe he'd in the medical field?"

Abby started rubbing her neck again and he frowned at her. "Abbs, do you need a doctor?"

She acted for a moment like she wasn't going to share what was bugging her, then turned away. "No, it's just change Gibbs." She began pacing. "Change makes me itch. It always has." Her hands started waving around. "And Agent Barrett, I'm not a fan. I mean, of change. Her I don't mind." Abby's brow furrowed. "She's...feisty for someone so small, um and I like that. Not that I like her, because I don't really-"

He got in her path. "Abby."

Her spiel continued without interruption. "-not like I like you, or the team, or-"

Gibbs put his hands on her arms. "Abbs."

She sighed heavily. "I just...like our family exactly the way it is." He pulled her into a hug while she explained and did his best to reassure.

"Nothing's going to change." But the expression on her face suggested his guarantee wouldn't be enough this time. Those orders would have to come from much higher up.

**NCIS**

Shortly after Gibbs went down to see Abby, Tony headed for the breakroom and sent Ziva a text to follow when she got the chance. As soon as she joined him he took her hand and led her into the copyroom, locking the door. "As I was about to tell you earlier - we have a problem."

Her eyebrows rose. "More than EJ and the unexpected one that walked in here this morning?"

"Related, but yeah." Tony let out a breath. "He's in love with you Zi."

His wife's expression morphed from confusion to disbelief. "What?"

"I may not like the guy on principle, but I believe his feelings are genuine."

She paced across the room. "Tony, I have done nothing to give him that impression." Ziva ran agitated fingers through the tangled waves framing her face and worried her bottom lip with her teeth, suddenly looking uncertain. "Did I? You have seen many of the emails." He trusted her enough not to check each one.

Tony came close and trapped her hands in his. "I think you were just being friendly and he got the wrong idea. It can happen." His lips quirked up. "The attention of a beautiful woman does crazy things to a guy."

Her head fell forward to rest on his chest. "It was not supposed to be this complicated. What should I say?"

"You have to wait for him to tell you, he asked me to keep the information to myself. I think that Mossad mask will come in handy tonight."

But the case was getting interesting now and all plans were expected to be canceled. Rob showed up hours after his departure acting kind of secretive and carrying a duffle bag. He disappeared down the hall but returned fifteen minutes later and offered Ziva his hand. "I know you can't leave so I've brought dinner to you. Agent Gibbs was generous enough to let me steal you away for half an hour."

Startled, her gaze flickered to Gibbs and he gave the barest of nods. Carefully avoiding her partner's eyes, she pasted on a smile for Rob. "How thoughtful. You are just full of surprises today."

He led her towards the breakroom. "This isn't the last of them."

Entering the same space, Ziva took in the cloth covered table, candles, and mouth watering food on real plates. "Oh Rob."

Grinning, he held her chair and dragged his too close for comfort. "It's the least I can do."

During the meal Ziva plied him with questions about work and friends, wracking her brain for things he'd mentioned during their time in Miami and in subsequent emails to keep the conversation going and steer it away from anything too serious or personal. Finally he set down his fork. "Enough about me. I want to know how things are with you. How's the case going?"

"Ugh." Ziva made a face. "The new agent is causing trouble. I do not trust her." _Mostly because she's been making advances on my husband and sticking her nose where it does not belong. But that is beside the point_. "And I know Gibbs does not trust her either." She threw up her hands. "Regardless, she will be here running lead until we solve this case." Ziva glanced towards the bullpen. "I do not know what Director Vance was thinking. Throwing in someone new is never a good idea." Rob rested his chin on one hand as he listened and she suddenly caught herself and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. I'm rambling."

He shook his head. "I don't mind. It helps me get to know you better." He slid his arm around the back of her chair and leaned close. "Ziva." Unconsciously she shifted away, realizing this was getting out of hand. Rob read her body language and gave her space, clearing his throat. "There's something I want to tell you."

Her brow furrowed and apprehension pooled in her stomach. "Okay."

"I-" Rob began only to be cut off when her phone chimed. He sighed. "Can you ignore it for a minute, please?"

Thankful for the interruption and wondering if Tony was somehow spying and saw she needed to be rescued. Ziva grabbed the device. "I'm sorry." She checked the text from McGee, relieved to be called away. "I have to get back." She stood. "Thank you for dinner, it was lovely."

Deflated, Rob took her hand and kissed the back. "Don't work too hard."

Ziva smiled softly. "I will do my best." She hurried back to the bullpen, conflicted eyes meeting her husband's, and returned to what she'd been doing before Rob arrived.

Tony let the matter rest until they walked in the front door of their house, then leaned against it. "So?"

She rubbed her forehead. "He tried to kiss me."

"What?"

Ziva held up her hand. "It was unexpected. I moved. Nothing happened. And I was saved from hearing his declaration by McGee."

Tony raked his fingers through his hair, setting it on end. "What exactly did you guys do in Miami?"

She crossed her arms, gaze narrowing. "I do not like your tone."

"This is getting really serious Ziva! Something had to have happened to give him this impression."

"Mistaken impression," she ground out, invading his space. "Do you trust me Tony?" Ziva challenged.

For a heartbeat he stared at her, then the stiffness in his posture dissolved. "I'm sorry. Of course I trust you." He cupped her cheek, the other hand warming her neck. "I don't like this one bit, another guy being in love with my wife. But I guess it's a compliment that I'm not the only one who finds you irresistible." He was finding out now that he was not handling the reverse of EJ very well at all. Tony blew out a breath and bent his head, hesitating because he was unsure if she would accept a kiss after his previous implication. Ziva closed the distance between them, though she kept the caress light and fleeting, moving back a step.

"Miami was two weeks of stakeouts Tony, that left a lot of empty time. We talked - I told Rob about the team, shared stories from living in DC, but nothing too deep. He does not know about Mossad or my time in Africa. When he asked about the scars I said details were classified."

He frowned. "How -"

"He saw the ones on my shoulders when I wore a dress to dinner that last night."

"A dress?"

Ziva gave him a warning look. "I like to dress up once in awhile when work attire is so practical all the time. It was not a suggestive outfit."

Everything on her was suggestive, especially if her hair was down, but Tony bit his tongue. "Hours of talking. Going out to dinner. Lots of forced time alone together. I can see how he might've gotten the wrong idea."

Ziva sat on the arm of the chair. "Now what?"

"Try to avoid being alone with him as much as possible, don't get his hopes up," Tony advised. "The case might give you a legitimate excuse, but he also has no deadline on being back in Miami."

"Oy vey iz mir," she muttered, closing her eyes. The next minute she rose and headed for the office. Ziva stopped at the door. "I know I have given you cause in the past to doubt my commitment, but this last year..." She trailed off. "I hope you will not let it shadow us forever. I love you Tony." She emphasized 'you' and shut the door, leaving him to groan in frustration and curse his big mouth. He hadn't wasted even a second questioning her loyalty to them since the last time forgiveness had been offered and sins absolved. He was a jerk to make her think that.

Tony waited almost twenty minutes before he couldn't take it anymore and tapped on the door. "Zi? Can I come in?" She didn't say no so he eased it open and glimpsed her wiping away tears as she quickly closed her journal. Not that it mattered, her secrets were all safe as long as they remained written in Hebrew. Tony sighed heavily as he took the stool in front of her. Not for the last time did the jagged nature of their love make his heart break. "Honey, I'm sorry. I should never have said that. I believe you, that nothing happened in Miami. I do trust you, completely. I'm jealous and frustrated right now, but that's no excuse. Can you forgive me?"

"I forgive you," Ziva whispered. "But I am still hurt. I think I will sleep on the futon tonight."

To lose her presence by his side for the night was a greater consequence than he expected. Tony swallowed, respecting her desire for space. "Okay sweetheart. If you change your mind...I just want you to feel welcome in our bed."

She nodded and he left to shower, needing to think. By the time Tony emerged forty-five minutes later all the lights were out, the spare room door closed with Meira laying forlornly outside, and Moses missing from Ziva's bedside table. He crouched down to rub the dog's head. "Are you mad at me too?" She licked his hand and Tony stared at the darkness under the door for a long time before making himself climb into the cold, empty bed in their room. He lasted for only short stretch of lonely tossing and turning before giving up and retreating to the couch. After Somalia he'd vowed never to sleep in bed without her again. He only hoped the separation wouldn't last for more than one night.

**NCIS**

**Friday April 8**

The next morning EJ briefed them on the P2P killer from her side of the partition while Team Gibbs listened from theirs. "The Port-to-Port killer is a highly egotistical individual. He's lethal and determined and..." She looked towards them and spread her hands. "You're all welcome to join me. I'm not really into yelling from all the way over here."

Gibbs made his position quite clear, standing at his desk with his back to EJ. "We can hear you fine."

Ziva saw the silent appeal in EJ's expression that was aimed at her husband and even though it had no effect she had to literally force herself not to move closer to him in an open show of possession, despite their current state of not speaking. It did not help that she was still nursing the headache which had begun last night and was therefore even more irritable than usual about the woman.

Tony broke eye contact with the new girl and studied the folder in his hand as an excuse. "Keep going." He waited until he could see in her peripheral vision that she'd turned away before brushing his hand subtly over Ziva's. _Easy tiger, I already know I'm yours_. Tony wished he could verbalize that statement without being instantly transferred to Siberia. He felt her eyes on him as EJ continued, which was unexpected since his wife had barely spoken to him all morning.

It was very easy to tell the female team leader wasn't impressed by his rejection in front of the others. "Suspect is a white male anywhere from twenty-five to fifty-five. Never married, no children, born into money. He is charming, charismatic and very entitled."

McGee chuckled. "Are you sure we're not looking for Tony?"

Ziva shot him a dirty look as EJ proceeded with the debrief. Her husband did not fit the never married and no children was, to him, a temporary situation. The money he and they had, had been worked very hard for. And the real Tony underneath the act felt he was entitled to very little, including someone's loyalty and devotion. She would not argue charming and charismatic however. That he was in spades. Something she couldn't help but admit despite the hurt she still felt from their previous evening's exchange.

"He's killed in Japan, Guam, Spain, and now the US," EJ finished before discussing what little else they knew about him. "I don't think he's leaving anytime soon."

"Is that a hunch, Special Agent Barrett?" Gibbs spat out.

EJ stormed around the wall to confront him and they disagreed on the personality and accomplishments of the killer, just one more thing in a long list. Tony and Ziva observed clash with morbid fascination and not a little bit of admiration for her chutzpah in challenging Gibbs, though Tony wondered if she knew how deep she was digging her hole.

McGee found a suspect who fit their profile so things were off and running again even though Gibbs and EJ continued to act like kids on a schoolyard volleying for turf. It seemed a tad childish and unprofessional to the team, but none of them would dare say that out loud to either party. Director Vance would have to play principal on this one.

**NCIS**

As bad luck would have it he ended up in the elevator with the blonde woman later that afternoon and took the opportunity to warn her against messing with Gibbs.

"I'm not afraid of him."

"You should be," Tony countered.

"The case might take awhile to wrap up, I could get used to be in DC."

Her suggestion was clear and he shifted away. "Don't get too comfortable, I'm sure Rota wants you back asap."

EJ shrugged. "You've made this your home."

"It's more about the people than the place," he shared, remembering anew why he'd stayed.

"Yeah, I'm starting to see that. Especially your partner, huh?" She was goading him, pride still smarting from earlier, and she knew Ziva was a touchy subject with the agent.

Tony looked over at her sharply only to find the female agent much too close for comfort. At that particular moment the doors opened, revealing Ziva and Rob waiting on the other side. EJ just smiled but he wasted no time stepping out and away, noting the way his wife's eyes glittered dangerously as she glared at her rival. It took effort to adopt a casual expression. "Where are you off to?"

"A walk in the park," Ziva said shortly.

EJ moved aside, nodding at Rob. "Agent Crewe."

Ziva paused, glancing between them. "You know each other?"

"Yes. Didn't he tell you?"

Her eyebrows drew together. "Tell me what?"

"Rob's our liaison on the Port-to-Port killer case." Ziva's mouth opened slightly and EJ frowned. "He has been from the start."

The look Ziva turned on Rob spoke of betrayal and whether he felt it or not Tony's angry stare burned into the man. "Ziva, I-"

She held up her hand. "No." Without another word Ziva headed for the stairs and Rob rushed after her. Hearing the thud of the door Tony started counting months and sighed when the truth became apparent. Rob had been working on the case from the beginning - nine months - which was two months longer than he'd known Ziva. She'd suffered enough, she didn't need one more person betraying her trust or using her.

Rob caught up with her across the street. "Hey, Ziva, hold on a second. Let me explain."

Ziva shook her head. "An explanation will change nothing. You lied to me Rob. What does the CIA call it? Misinformation? A cover story?"

"I was protecting you, okay?"

She walked faster. "I do not need protection!"

"It was need to know information!" he defended. "I was not allowed to tell you, period."

"You made me think..." Ziva closed her eyes in the wake of another wound. "I thought we were friends Rob, but this whole time you were just using me to get information. It is all a lie!"

He moved into her path, trying to make her listen. "I didn't come here for the case Ziva, I came to see you."

Ziva was too busy being upset to care if he was actually being honest with her. "Stop it! Just stop. Was any of this real?"

Rob grabbed her hand. "Yes, of course."

She jerked away. "I don't believe you. I am only a backup plan." It stung but she really should've seen this coming.

"Ziva," he implored, "please. You're overreacting." He reached for her and she slapped his hand away.

"Oh my gosh! You want to see me overreact Rob? Why don't you tell me another lie, huh? Why don't you tell me that this is all a bad dream or our time together is something I made up in my head. Tell me that-"

Rob cut her off. "That I love you? Because I do. I love you Ziva."

She closed her eyes, feeling a pang in her heart. "I would never be able to trust that now. Trust is a fragile thing and once broken incredibly hard to mend. You have ruined any chance and I will not give you the time to earn it back." Ziva wiped at a tear. "Lies have consequences Rob. I cannot tolerate dishonesty." She took a deep breath. "This is the end of any friendship we had, real or imagined. I am done. Goodbye."

Hurt flooded his gaze. "Wait Ziva, please." But she walked away as if she had not heard and he crumpled onto a nearby bench. This was not the way things were supposed to turn out. In a fit of desperation Rob grabbed his phone and sent her a text. _You have the wrong suspect. That's all I can say_. But even sharing information would not be enough to grant him a pardon. He'd really screwed up.

**NCIS**

Once Ziva checked her phone, on the slight chance that the message was from her husband or the team, she hurried back to the office and followed Gibbs as he headed towards the stairs. She came up beside him quietly, "Abba, I have to talk to you." She led the way to the alcove and leaned back in the corner. "I need to tell you something."

He saw the way she rubbed her wrist, how her eyes flickered from place to place. She was agitated and upset and if Rob caused the reaction, CIA or no CIA, the man would be answering to him. Gibbs stopped in front of her. "I'm listening."

"I cannot tell you how I know this and you cannot ask."

So it was serious. "Alright. Tell me what?"

Ziva met his eyes. "Leitner is not the Port-to-Port killer."

"How sure are you?" He trusted her, but the source had to be rock solid before he could pass it on to anyone else.

Sadness cloaked her expression. "Very." It was Rob's last ditch effort to gain her favour, only the truth would do.

"Okay." Gibbs took a step closer and curled his fingers around hers. "Wanna tell me the rest?"

Ziva stared at the floor. "Not here."

That wasn't very promising. "Come to the house later?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "We shall see."

He held her gaze a bit longer but couldn't get through and returned to the bullpen, giving her the moment she needed before joining them.

It was gratifying for Ziva to hear Gibbs call her a very reliable source when EJ asked how he knew the main suspect wasn't their killer, even if EJ was determined to argue every step of the way. She seemed offended when Gibbs told McGee to put the crime scene photos up again, saying she'd studied them a hundred times over the past day, but he wanted another look. Sure enough there was something off about the decorations on the victim's uniform and Gibbs called it a message. He was on a roll looking at the locations of the murders, airports, hubs. Then McGee and Ziva were ordered to MTAC with him and EJ tried to come as well only for Gibbs to use one word, "Stay."

Tony couldn't help the reminder that he'd warned her, but EJ crossed her arms and turned it back on him. "Oh yeah? So why weren't you invited?"

Since Gibbs had a hate-on for the new girl and said new girl had been none too discreet about her interest in him, he assumed the bad feelings were spilling over onto him as well. Kind of depressing actually. It would be nice if the boss actually got the truth before dishing out undeserved punishments. But that was an issue for another time.

The discovery of one former Navy pilot who'd been in all four cities at the time of the murder sent the team plus EJ back out to check the man's house. They all hurried up the walk with guns drawn, on alert for danger, and took their places on either side of the door. Gibbs nodded at Ziva, who got to take out some of her feelings about Rob's deception when it was her turn to kick in a door. Knowing more of the story than El Jefe, Tony appreciated his consideration even as he winced at the force she used.

They cleared rooms and closets like a well oiled machine and found nothing amiss until Gibbs saw a small bouquet of the rare orchids like in the ice cube resting on a chest freezer out back. Inside was the only other suspect who fit their information and he'd been dead too long to have killed the latest victim. Director Vance was less than pleased considering SecNav put him in charge of solving the case and he ordered Gibbs and EJ to get it done, alluding that it was their fault P2P was still on the loose. As if they weren't already doing everything they could to track him down. Knowing what put Leon in such a foul mood would've helped Gibbs be a little more sympathetic to his predicament but he had other things to worry about, like a member of his team.

He confronted EJ on the catwalk, blunt as usual. "Are you sleeping with DiNozzo?"

Her eyebrows rose. "Excuse me?" Not yet, but she wouldn't turn it down if offered. Although at this point and after weeks of trying it seemed unlikely to happen.

Gibbs crossed his arms. "Not in the habit of repeating myself."

She mirrored his stance. "How is that any of your business?"

"My team, my rules."

EJ slid her hands in her back pockets. "Well thankfully I'm not on your team and it's not against NCIS rules." Gibbs glared and she stared right back. "Did I miss the part where someone put you in charge?" She turned around and walked down the stairs without waiting for a response, ignoring Gibbs' parting shot.

"I don't trust you Agent Barrett. Except to work the case, leave my team alone."

The blonde agent had the audacity to look back and smile before she disappeared around the corner, which only made Gibbs like her less.

**NCIS**

Considering the circumstances of the last time she'd been to a bar, Tony was concerned to walk in the door of a classier establishment and find her sitting on a high stool, a tell-tale glass loosely held in one hand. Stopping inches away, he cleared his throat and kept the worry from his tone. "It's depressing to drink alone."

She didn't look at him. "I'm not depressed and this is only Sprite."

"You could've at least gotten some orange juice to go with it." Extremely relieved she hadn't turned to alcohol, he took the seat next to her. "I wouldn't blame you if it was something stronger, been a rough day."

Ziva sighed. "I just want to go home."

"That's definitely an option, but let me have a Coke first while you finish your soda." Tony ordered and then waited to see if she'd open up. He didn't have to wait long.

"He lied to me Tony."

Tony risked putting his hand over hers. "I know."

"He was using me."

He squeezed her fingers. "That was a lousy thing to do."

"I thought we were friends," she said quietly. "And it was nice to have someone in my life who does not know my past."

Tony shifted close. "I'm sorry Ziva."

"Me too. But I cannot take any more lies." She finally looked at him. "He told me he loves me and I told him anything we had was over. It felt wrong for someone else to say those words."

His arm came around her shoulders. "I'm so grateful you allow me that privilege."

Ziva rested her head on his shoulder. "I forgave you. I should not have spent today avoiding you. I'm sorry."

Tony's lips brushed her forehead. "I understand. I hate that I hurt you. I'm sorry."

"It will not be the last time. I have inflicted my share of pain on you as well. I'm thankful our love has stood each test."

He shut his eyes, fighting tears. "Me too babe. It always will. I won't give up."

She nodded. "Neither will I." Sitting up, Ziva attempted a smile. "Care to get out of here?"

"Will you let me hold you tonight?"

Her palm came up to his cheek. "Yes. But a movie first? Something very happy?"

Tony mentally scrolled through their choices. "Hallmark maybe? _Front of the Class_, or _A Smile as Big as The Moon?_ Or _Dolphin Tale_. Everyone loves a good animal story."

"That sounds lovely." She started to slide off the stool when the bartender brought over a drink.

"This is for you."

Tony shook his head. "Thanks, but we didn't order. We're actually just heading out."

He ignored them and set the glass down anyways, pointing behind them. "Guy in the booth sent it."

As one person Tony and Ziva swivelled in that direction but saw only an empty table as the exit door swung shut. Ziva frowned. "I wonder who that was."

Suspicious now Tony lifted the glass slowly. When one of the ice cubes stared back he dropped the drink, making his wife jump. "Whoa!"

An ice encased eyeball spilled across the counter, causing Tony and Ziva to exchange startled glances. His hand was on his gun before he even remembered moving and all he could think was that the killer had been sitting right behind them and they never noticed a thing.

Replies:

Yonatan Goldin - my apologies. I took that fact straight from something Ziva had said on the show in response to Tony spring cleaning his desk - "Israel is a desert. We do not have spring." But I'm sorry I got that detail wrong. I usually try to be very careful about having the correct information. ~Aliyah

Debbie - thank you :) Yeah, God kinda dropped the spring cleaning idea into my head awhile back and it was fun to see the things they found. She may jump again but it'll be a long time from now. That's an interesting idea but with Israel being so far away and them having nowhere to keep a horse...I don't know. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah

Melissa - thank you, I'm really glad you liked it :) haha...I've been procrastinating on spring cleaning since LAST spring! T&amp;Z are doing way better than me. I was pleased without how the part about Ziva's trunk came out, glad you enjoyed that too. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah


	52. 8x21 Dead Reflection 1

**Friday April 8 continued**

Their peaceful evening plans ruined, Tony and Ziva were kept at NCIS instead for a couple more hours and left with the energy and motivation to do nothing but fall into bed when they finally made it home. Ziva did, however, do as her husband requested and curled up in his arms to fall asleep. Tony savoured having her so close he could feel every breath and buried his nose in her hair. Even one night without this was too long.

**NCIS**

**Saturday April 9**

"It was floating in the glass?" McGee asked incredulously, having missed some of the excitement by being gone when they came back last night. "That must've really freaked you out."

"Yeah," Tony clarified, glancing at his wife. "Definitely could've used a drink after that discovery."

"Where's the eyeball now?"

"Ducky has it," Ziva answered and they watched as Gibbs and EJ returned from the director's office. He did not look happy.

"Special Agent Barrett and her team are taking over the Port-to-Port killer case," the team leader announced without emotion.

"Her team?" Ziva asked a bit skeptically. After all this time she was beginning to doubt the woman's initial words that she was, in fact, a team leader.

"Agents Cade and Levin are finally en route. I'd appreciate if you gave them a warm welcome. They're top notch agents." She reached for her gun and badge. "Maybe you'll even pick up a few pointers."

Ziva's lips parted and her gaze narrowed. "What did she mean by that?"

Tony didn't think anything was to be gained by continuing a conversation about EJ so her question went unanswered.

When McGee asked what their team was doing Gibbs gave the details about a new case at the Pentagon and they headed out just like it was any other day. A murderer caught on camera seemed to suggest that the case would be an easy open and shut, but Gibbs didn't believe in making assumptions so they still had to collect and consider all evidence. Back at the office Ziva's gaze strayed to EJ's side of the room enough times for her to notice.

Going over to McGee's desk, she planted her hands on the surface and leaned down to talk to him. "I'm not sure how I feel about that woman."

McGee followed her eyes. "I know what you mean."

"She's what my Doda would call a real nidchefet." _Suck up. Someone who walks over others to get to the top._

Tim's brow furrowed. "I can only guess what that means."

Ziva debated trying to explain, then shook her head. "It loses something in translation."

Gibbs and Tony returned from trying to find Donner, the man who committed the murder, with no luck and the briefing began. Though victim and attacker knew each other there appeared to be no motive behind the killing. When McGee revealed that the roommate had arrived Gibbs sent him and Tony to do the interview and took Ziva with him in search of Donner's wife. Disappointed at not having a moment to talk to his wife alone, Tony couldn't tear his eyes from her. Thankfully Ziva noticed first and slapped his stomach lightly with a folder, getting his attention back where it needed to be. They'd get their chance later or at home, right now there was work to be done.

"Expected to see you last night," Gibbs began once they were in the car.

Ziva stared out the window. "After what happened I just wanted to go home and forget the whole day. I'm sorry Abba."

He grasped her fingers. "Nothin' to apologize for Ziver." He paused. "Wanna tell me now about what happened yesterday?"

She rubbed her forehead with her free hand. "He lied to me," she whispered.

His grip tightened. "Rob?"

Ziva nodded. "He has known about the case the whole time, before we even met. I was simply...a source of information." And it hurt, another betrayal by a supposed friend, especially one who wanted to be more than that. "I wonder if there will ever be a person in my life who will not use me or lie to me. I am so tired of it." She let herself dwell in self-pity for a moment while Gibbs tried to think if he'd ever done either of those things, then she sat up straighter. "But that is not fair. I have lied to and used many people myself, some of whom I cared for very deeply. Perhaps it would be best if I first started treating people that way before expecting them to do the same."

Gibbs' chest swelled at her admission. She'd grown and changed so much since that first day. "You make me proud kid."

Ziva smiled slightly. Whether he knew it or not, whether she deserved it or not, those words were worth the world to her. It was something she always wished to hear from Eli but never had and never would. She was thankful to have a father now who meant them.

**NCIS**

Meanwhile Tony noticed one of EJ's team members had arrived and was more than a little surprised to find the man somewhat of a giant. "Wow," he stage whispered to McGee, "you think he's the Hulk in disguise?"

McGee rolled his eyes. "Lay off Tony."

Considering he was trying to keep contact with the enemy camp at a bare minimum, that seemed like wise advice.

When Gibbs and Ziva returned the team compiled what they knew before the partners left for their assignment. Because both Gibbs and Ziva thought the wife knew more than she told them, a stakeout was next on the agenda. On the way out Tony spoke quietly to his wife. "I love the way that shirt looks on you." Charcoal grey, silky and blousy it just made him want to put his hands on her - something he hadn't yet had the opportunity for today. Plus her hair was down and parted on the side, making her even more irresistible, which was not helping his self-control any. She smiled at the compliment as they entered the elevator and he frowned. "Do you chose your outfits in the morning just to test my reactions?"

Ziva bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Sometimes."

He huffed. "It's not nice to tease Agent David."

"Are you sure about that?" she purred. "We have had some very enjoyable encounters brought on by teasing."

His mind drifted hard and fast to one of those moments and she elbowed him in the side to keep him somewhat on track. She reached up to trace the shoulder holster he wore. "An old friend. I have not see this in awhile. Why today?"

Tony snaked his arm around her waist. "Last night really shook me up, that we were so close to the P2P guy. He could've gotten to you and I just...I needed to feel like a cop today. Gives me a little more confidence in my skills. I can protect you this way Zi."

"Hmm." Ziva leaned into him as they left the building. "Your protection skills are never in question my love. I always feel safe with you at my back and by my side."

He sighed into her hair. "I know you're good at your job honey and I respect your abilities, but I really just want to wrap you up and keep you somewhere safe away from all of this until it's over."

She pressed her lips to his cheek. "Our feelings are the same on that subject."

Holding back from saying anything more, Tony held the car door so she could get in and checked the address in his phone. Time to go.

**NCIS**

A couple hours later Tony climbed back into the car, handing Ziva the restaurant bag. "Gotta love stakeout food."

She eyed the selection warily. "I will have to run an extra two miles tomorrow to work this off."

He handed her the philly cheesesteak and pulled out his own hot roast beef sandwich smothered in gravy. "You don't run on Sundays."

"I could if you came with me."

Tony swallowed a big bite, closing his eyes in pleasure. "How about the pool instead? You swim, I spectate?"

Ziva considered the suggestion. "I have not been swimming in awhile. Okay."

"It's pointless to make plans though," he put in, offering her the container of onion rings. "Gibbs doesn't observe weekends."

"That means no basketball practice either. Do not forget to tell Mark."

Tony laughed. "Good point. I'd hate to make Papa Smurf worry."

They finished their meal quietly, keeping an eye on the house, then Ziva chose a new topic. "Has Gibbs talked to you?"

He regarded her uncertainly. "What'd I do this time?"

She crumpled her wrapper. "He thinks there is something going on with you and EJ."

The light went on. "That's why he took you with him earlier. What did you say?"

"Very little. But he is sure he's right."

Tony frowned. "He's Gibbs. Usually he knows everything. Except about us."

Ziva smirked. "He practically ordered her to stay away from you the other day." Office gossip got around fast. "Maybe...you should talk to him?"

He bent his head, scraping fingers through his hair. "You know how much I love confrontation Zi."

She rubbed his back gently. "This is important ahava. Perhaps..." Ziva trailed off as an idea came to her.

Tony glanced over. "What?"

"Gibbs thinks you are dating Agent Barrett."

His brow furrowed. "I thought we just went over that."

"He still considers that to be a disregarding of Rule 12."

"So?"

Ziva let her finger drift across where his ring belonged. "So what if when you talk to him, you were to use what he suspects as a way to find out how he would react to-"

Tony finally caught on. "How he would react to it actually happening. Wow."

She twirled a piece of hair. "At least then we would know, one way or another, what we are facing."

He clasped both her hands, leaning close to kiss her. "You're brilliant."

Ziva chuckled. "I don't know about that."

"I do." Tony cupped her cheek. "I love you. Have I told you that enough lately?"

She rested her head on his shoulder. "It is never too much Tony. Ani ohevet otcha."

Before he could match her declaration with his lips, Ziva noticed a car approaching and put her fingers over his mouth. "Wait."

Tony took several photos with their long range camera, both more than a little surprised to see the welcome their mystery man got from Donner's wife. When the pair went inside he grabbed the laptop. "I'll download these pictures and send them to McAbby. They can run some facial recognition for us."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "I cannot believe you call them that. And I think it is easier if I run his license plate."

He glanced over. "My way is faster."

"No it's not." She started to get out and Tony blurted.

"I'll bet you."

Ziva wondered if he would ever learn. "Okay. Go." They both rushed to try their methods; playing a game always made the work more fun.

In the lab McGee was working his magic on the computer and Abby, with a slight curl to her long pigtails and wearing a dress that made her look sweet and innocent, paced towards the door. "I hope this isn't gonna take too long." She had a dinner date with an old friend who was a pathologist and didn't want to be late.

Because their friendship had been on shaky ground since the Maxine incident pretty much cut off all contact between them that wasn't work related, McGee didn't feel the freedom to ask about her plans. But he wished very fervently that he was the one who would get to sit across a table from her and appreciate the outfit and the woman it belonged to. Instead he affected an air of indifference. "Well, it shouldn't. We're only running the image against Naval officers."

She pulled up his sleeve to check the time and even that brief touch made his skin tingle. The next words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. "You in a hurry?"

Abby hesitated, missing the easy camaraderie they usually shared. "Um, yeah. Sort of."

The computer bleeped, saving them from any more awkward conversation and the identity of the visitor, Commander Nelson Tunney, was relayed to Tony. However, not in enough time to save the senior field agent from losing to his wife, who smiled quite smugly in the passenger seat. Now he owed her one, again. He would stop, but it was just too much fun competing with her.

After McGee shared the background information with his teammate, he turned to give Abby back her phone. "Thanks for staying with me."

Her fond expression only lasted a brief moment before the carefully constructed calm she'd been hiding behind returned. "Anytime." She glanced at the clock. "Except now. I gotta go. Goodnight Tim."

As she walked towards the door McGee's eyes locked on the tattoo decorating her upper back. It had been a long time since he'd been granted permission to run his fingers over her smooth skin and tonight he'd actually lifted his hand when she wasn't looking before catching himself. He had a lot of lost ground to regain before anything but a solid friendship was possible. And even though he was the one who messed up this time, he wasn't enthused about the work it was going to take to get back in Abby's good graces.

**NCIS**

**Sunday April 10**

Ziva slid out of bed before dawn made an appearance and Tony groaned when her warmth left his side. "Already?" They hadn't made it home until single digits on the clock and he felt certain they'd just fallen asleep moments ago.

She paused in French braiding her hair before the mirror. "You could get another hour or so ahava, but I need to go swimming before we spend another full day at the office." They'd talked about it last night but she didn't expect him to remember every topic covered during stakeout conversation.

He threw an arm over his eyes and debated his options. He'd offered to spectate when they talked about it in the car, but exhaustion encouraged him to stay in bed. It was, however, time with his wife and never to be turned down. "I'll come on one condition," he announced moments later.

Ziva wrapped an elastic around the end of her braid. "Yes?"

"We share the shower after and you make it worth my while."

Hearing the grin in his voice, she faced him with crossed arms. "I thought I was supposed to be getting special treatment for winning the bet."

"Uh-huh," Tony nodded. "And we can talk about that. After we shower."

Because she really didn't want to turn down a little bit of extracurricular activity, Ziva agreed to his condition. Not only did Tony escort her to the pool he also joined her in the water, though he lasted for about half as many laps, if that. Once she finished they locked themselves in the empty women's changeroom and spent more time under the delicious hot spray indulging in each other than rinsing off chlorine. It put them in a much better mood than they'd started with and the partners entered NCIS feeling refreshed despite their lack of sleep.

When the team grabbed a quick break for lunch Tony checked his watch and suddenly realized it was Sunday, even though Ziva had reminded him yesterday. Knowing Mark and company would be home from church by now, he went to the alcove and chose his frat brother from the contact list. It ran twice and he answered, "Reece residence."

Tony leaned back against the wall. "Hey Papa Smurf."

Mark frowned. "That doesn't sound like the voice of a man prepared to show off at basketball today."

Dragging a hand down his face, he nodded. "You'd be correct. We're working our fourth day straight on this case and though I really hope it wraps up today, I'm not holding my breath."

"That's rough. You guys been getting home at nights?"

He yawned. "For some of them. I think we're running maybe on four hours today, but I honestly can't remember what time we got to bed."

"I'd tell you to take it easy but your boss doesn't believe in normal workday hours." Mark looked back at Cassie and gave her a thumbs up so she knew it wasn't serious. She'd figured out who was on the phone by listening to his side. "We'll give you a pass this time D, but don't expect special treatment next week. You may just get your butt whupped."

Tony chuckled. "Not a chance. Hopefully by then this whole mess will be taken care of."

The call ended and he let out a breath, trying to fortify himself for the task ahead.

Later that afternoon, in what was becoming a disconcerting habit, Tony ran into EJ in the elevator as she was taking the Commander up for questioning. She stood too close for comfort and sniffed the air, wrinkling her nose. "Is that the same cologne you wear every day? It's terrible."

"That's his," Tony retorted. "And I don't see what my choice in cologne has to do with you."

EJ leaned into him. "It could have a lot to do with me," she said in a low voice, "if you'd just loosen up a little." Then normally, "How late did you and Ziva work last night?"

Still stuck on her previous comment, Tony tuned her out. He didn't care for EJ's opinion in the least. He liked his cologne and so did Ziva. After Somalia she made him promise never to change it, that was one of the things she missed the most from her time away. It was one of her favourite scents, something about it comforted her. And seeing as she was married to him, her opinion mattered most.

When they walked out at the end of another long day, Tony shook his head. "I could never date EJ."

Ziva snorted. "I would hope not seeing as you're a married man."

He continued like his wife hadn't spoken. "She doesn't like my cologne. And she said it, right out loud. Can you believe the nerve?" Tony tsk'd. "Know where I can find a woman who'll say my cologne is one of her favourite scents in the whole world?"

She leaned into him, letting Tony slide his hand in the back pocket of her jeans. "I am sure you will find her, somewhere."

"Somewhere close?" he asked hopefully.

Ziva turned her nose into his neck, breathing in deeply. "Somewhere very close," she assured him.

At the car Tony took her face in his hands and pressed his lips gently against hers. "Tonight's the night."

She fingered buttons on his shirt. "Talking to Gibbs?"

"Yup. One more for luck?"

Ziva claimed his mouth for a kiss much deeper and more thorough than the first. "I wish you all the luck I can give. And whatever the outcome, I will be waiting for you at home."

"Then it's a win either way." Tony gazed into her eyes. "I love you Ziva David-DiNozzo." Then he got in his car and left before his courage failed. This conversation tonight could change everything and even after four and a half years he wasn't sure if he was ready.

**NCIS**

Tony stood on the front porch for a good ten minutes before working up the courage to go inside, a lot was riding on this conversation. Knowing where to find his boss he went straight to the basement. "How's the boat coming?" He emptied the usual jars and brought bourbon over, pulling up a sawhorse to use as his seat.

"Slow." Gibbs fortified himself with a gulp of alcohol. "What brings you over?"

He swirled the liquid around. "I thought we could talk."

"So talk."

Tony sighed. The man wasn't exactly making it easy for him to share. "You know I look up to you Boss. I've learned a lot from you over the last ten years. You've been a great teacher."

"Got a point DiNozzo?"

He cleared his throat, may as well get it over with. "Things haven't been the same between us lately, so I've gotta know - are you ticked at me for some reason?"

"Rule 12," Gibbs grunted, measuring a board.

"Never date a coworker," Tony quoted obediently. "Except I'm not."

"Thinking about it though," the team leader accused.

"Not a crime," Tony shot back. "NCIS doesn't have a policy against it, there are even married agents." _Two of which are on your team, but that's beside the point_.

"My team, my rules," Gibbs stated bluntly and a staring match ensued. A ringing cellphone broke the silence but he shut it up quickly. "Anything with Barrett would be a bad idea."

Tony clenched his jaw. "Last time I checked my personal life was my business."

"It'll affect your work."

"No, it won't," Tony said firmly. Four and a half years and they'd proved it.

"She already has. You're distracted. Can't afford that. I depend on you."

Nice to hear, except it sounded remarkably like an ultimatum. _I'm distracted because I'm trying to keep my wife from killing the new girl if she doesn't stop flirting with me where everyone can see, _he thought_._ EJ's continual flirting was causing tension between him and his wife, which he was not okay with. His cell lit up before Tony had figured out what to say and he wasn't sure if he should be relieved or disappointed. Abby's voice came through the speaker and he sighed. "No rest for the working. We're needed at NCIS."

Gibbs turned off the light and grabbed his coat. Not a single other word was spoken and with great disappointment Tony realized they had their answer.

**NCIS**

It was quite late in DC by the time Celeste called, but she didn't want to go any longer than a week without talking to him again and she knew her ex-husband would still be up. When he answered with a brusque, "Gibbs," she realized he was at work.

"Is this a bad time Jethro?"

"Les," he breathed out, checking quickly to see if the team had noticed his reaction, but they were all busy with their own tasks. He left the bullpen swiftly and headed for an empty conference room.

"I'm sorry for the break last week. Do you understand why I had to do that?"

Gibbs cleared his throat. "Understanding didn't make it any easier not to hear your voice."

"It's already tomorrow there," she observed softly, leaving his comment alone, "why are you at NCIS?"

He sighed. "Tracking a serial killer with no respect for weekends or time of day."

As much as she wanted a real conversation with him, she knew some obligations had to come first. "Maybe I shouldn't keep you."

"Couple minutes wouldn't hurt," Gibbs returned immediately.

"Coming back to LA was really hard Jethro. I feel like all we did was confusing ourselves last week. Everything was so easy and comfortable between us, too much maybe." She rubbed her forehead. "Do we even know what we're doing anymore?"

Gibbs closed his eyes. He hadn't gotten enough sleep for this. "We're building a relationship Les, taking our time. But..." he hesitated, then pressed on, "...I'm ready when you are. I think we've served our time on waiting."

"Oh Jethro." She sounded like she was going to cry and he couldn't handle that, not from so far away. Celeste worried that he just didn't want to be alone anymore. To be really ready for a relationship he had to be willing to open up and let her in all the way, into his sacred years and memories with Shannon and Kelly, to lay all his past bare so they had a chance at a future that only included them, without all the ghosts he'd too long carried around.

She held her hand to her mouth for several moments before trusting her voice. "We need to talk about that more when you're not so tired. I'm not sure you really know what that means." She took a deep breath and let it out, shifting them to a safer subject. "How are you?"

Trying to move past his declaration, which hadn't been received as he expected, Gibbs thought back to meeting with Tony in his basement a couple hours ago. "Before we got called back in Tony came to see me. Danced around it but sounded like he was feeling out permission to break Rule 12."

"With Ziva?" Celeste asked hopefully. She'd been quietly rooting for those two for years.

He sighed. "That's where things get strange. I don't know. A few months ago he admitted to being in love with her, but EJ showing up has messed with the dynamics. She's been all over him since she got here in February. It's throwing my team off their game and I don't like that."

"What would you say if he came right out and asked?" she ventured.

Gibbs got defensive. "Why can't anyone see I'm trying to protect them? Tony and Ziva...they'd be such a volatile combination. Fiery and passionate and extremely personal." _Like me and Jenny_. "And if it didn't work out and someone got burned I'm afraid they'd be broken forever. The fallout would destroy everything that makes their partnership so special."

Celeste wasn't sure she'd noticed before that there was more than just overprotective father stuff going on here. "Someday I'm going to need that story Jethro."

He frowned. "Which one?" There were so few she didn't know.

"What happened in Paris," she said quietly. "It was so very long before you let me close again."

Gibbs made a feeble plea to get out of it. "It's late Les." Maybe she was right and he hadn't really thought about what giving them another chance would mean. "I should get back."

"I know." Celeste wished she could give him a hug. He sounded like he really needed one. "We'll talk later this week?"

He swallowed. "Might be my turn to need some time." Paris still felt like a raw wound if he dwelt on it. "Next week for sure."

"Okay. Stay safe."

"Take care."

Hanging up, he leaned his forehead on one hand. Right now he had to focus on the case, but after it was over he was going to have to sit down and sort some stuff out. It was time to figure out what he really wanted and if he wanted it bad enough to let go of everything else. He knew she would be worth it, but he wasn't sure he could handle feeling that hurt again. It nearly broke him the first time, a repeat would likely get very ugly and Celeste didn't deserve to get caught in the crossfire.

**NCIS**

**Monday April 11**

Pressed for time the next morning, which brought them to the second day following a night in which they hadn't even gotten the bare minimum amount of sleep recommended, the most important meal of the day had been pushed off until after their early briefing. Released for a few minutes while they awaited results, Tony and Ziva went to the breakroom where he put a cheese croissant in the microwave and she poured two cups of coffee. Denied details last night because they'd been called back into the office by Abby's surveillance video discovery and had been so late getting home, Ziva barely waited until they settled before asking, "How did it go with Gibbs?"

He started cutting the pastry and sighed. "Not good."

She leaned forward, holding her mug in both hands. "What did he say?"

"For starters, I got a lecture." Tony put half the croissant on another plate and slid it over, causing Ziva to smile at the familiar routine for anytime they ate at work. "He ignored my argument, the rules are still an unbreakable law." A look of sadness crossed her face and he flashed a grin. "You look very pretty today."

A faint smile reflected the compliment but she was too busy worrying for it to make much of an impression. "How did you leave it with him?" This was an incredibly important issue for them.

"I don't know." Tony picked at the end of his pastry. "The call from Abby interrupted. Gibbs and I seem to have hit a rough patch lately."

She was just about to reach for his hand when EJ came in. She stopped at their table, looking accusingly at Ziva. "I'd like to speak with Agent DiNozzo alone."

Ziva stared cooly back. "In case you haven't noticed, we are in the middle of a conversation. I'm sure whatever you have to say can wait."

Snubbed, EJ drew herself up rigidly and left in a huff, embarrassed anger colouring her cheeks. Tony gazed at his wife with admiration. That had been one of their only actual confrontations and the first one he'd witnessed. "Wow. The claws almost came out on that one." He grinned. "Feeling a bit possessive this morning Mrs. DiNozzo?"

She glared. "The way she looks at you, how she always tries to catch you alone, the flirting - it has been going on too long." Ziva crossed her arms. "I'm fed out."

"Up," Tony corrected, touching her wrist. "Yeah, I noticed." His eyes twinkled. "I love it when you get territorial Zi."

Her posture softened. "She has done nothing but cause trouble since she arrived a month and a half ago. I wish we could just solve this case and send her back where she came from."

He nudged the plate closer, hoping to redirect her thoughts. "Eat. I know they're not Parisian croissants, but we can pretend right?"

Ziva's expression bordered on adoring as she took a bite. Paris was a memory she would always cherish.

**NCIS**

The next time they got a free moment he texted her to meet him in the restroom and as soon as the lock was turned he possessed her lips fiercely. Throwing herself into the kiss, Ziva's hands grasped at his shirt, his hair, backing him against the sinks, trying to get closer while her tongue explored his mouth and his hands found their way under her shirt, caressing the warm expanse of skin.

Tony took control after grabbing a quick breath and pressed her into the wall beside the paper towel dispenser, drawing his mouth down her neck, stopping to taste the pulse beating frantically under her jaw, and worked his way to the hollow of her throat, flicking his tongue over it and smiling in satisfaction when she moaned. His fingers flirted with waistband of her pants and snuck slightly below, running over the embroidered elastic of her plain white panties.

Ziva's whispered words escaped with breathy pauses between. "Tony...I-"

He cut her off by claiming her lips again, the kiss deep and long as he cradled her head with silky curls sliding across his hands. At last he released her, keeping his eyes closed. "Couldn't help myself."

"Mmm." She swallowed and smoothed the wrinkles from his shirt. "It is a shame...we have that rule."

Tony cleared his throat, reluctantly removing his hands from her waist. "If you think the expression I wear after making love to you at home is bad..."

Ziva's mouth covered his gently and she sighed. "I know. And all wanting aside, we both have too much respect for ourselves and our place of work to do something that inappropriate here. But ahava," she regarded him with half-closed eyes, "all of me is yours as soon as we are back in our own space."

He groaned and parted her lips again, drinking in her love. "You're succeeding in making it impossible for me to concentrate on work, you know that right?"

"It is one of my joys as your wife," she murmured, edging away. "I will not easily forget these moments either."

Tony cupped her cheek in lieu of being able to speak and by the time his words returned she had disappeared. He let his head fall forward to rest on the wall. That woman would be the death of him one day, but what a sweet victory it was to reduce the mighty ninja to a quivering mass of desire that could only be sated by him.

**NCIS**

Their prime suspect turning up dead and Ducky confirming he wasn't alive when Lieutenant Ross was killed created a whole new level to their mystery. Some fancy lip reading work by Abby along with careful analysis from Ducky revealed their killer had used a specialized silicone mask. With some helpful information from Cade next door Tony and McGee were on their way to find out if Spec War used masks while Ziva and Gibbs left in search of Commander Tunney, who now seemed much less innocent than he originally appeared.

As they walked into the building McGee semi-complained about their new neighbours over the wall. "I enjoyed it more when it was just us." He glanced at his teammate. "Does it bother you having Barrett's team around?" Tim didn't have to ask about Ziva's opinion. She'd made her feelings about the new girl perfectly clear.

Tony pushed up his sunglasses. "My life was a lot simpler before she got here." _And I had to worry about what my wife might do to her should they ever end up alone together, as well as trying to avoid all the unwelcome advances._

"How so?"

"Gibbs," the older man sighed. "He's got it into his head that there's something between me and EJ. But he's wrong. She's not my type."

McGee's eyebrows shot up. "When was the last time Gibbs was wrong?"

"Happens to us all at least once a lifetime," Tony retorted.

"Try telling him that."

"Helpful, thanks." Tony pulled open the door and the conversation was over.

After they got what they needed from the enthusiastic mask creator, including proof that Commander Tunney was the murderer, Tony and McGee reported to Gibbs, who rushed to meet them at the building. As the guys headed to check out Tunney's office an old man in sunglasses got off the elevator. They didn't think anything of it until Tony recognized his cologne and knew they'd been had.

Gibbs and Ziva didn't stop when they pushed past the same man on their way in, then Tony and McGee came running towards them to share their discovery. Back outside he was nowhere to be found, so Gibbs took McGee one way and pointed Tony and Ziva the other. Though his personal preference was to keep his wife well away from the murdering types, protocol dictated that they split up to cover more ground when they came to a line of parked convoy trucks.

Ziva went around back and began carefully scanning inside, while Tony moved along the front of the row checking sides and underneath. Thinking she saw something, Ziva raised her gun and walked forward but was suddenly surprised from behind as Tunney hit her arm, causing her gun to drop and go sliding backwards. As he forced her chin up Ziva reached around and dislodged the mask, obscuring his vision. Driving an elbow back into his stomach she grunted, catching Tony's attention, and easily fought back because the man could no longer see where he needed to aim his punches.

Gibbs was waiting when Tunney yanked the mask off to find the business end of a gun pointed at his face. "Give me an excuse."

The line was remarkably similar, if not exact wording, to what Ziva had told the lady assassin after she caused Tony to dive off the side of a parking garage level and almost fall to his death. Moral of the story? Don't mess with the ninja's partner and don't dare to touch any of Gibbs' girls. She caught her breath and smiled. It was nice to have one father who would stand up for her.

After Gibbs and Tony piled on enough evidence to bury Commander Tunney in a very deep hole, Tony managed to catch Ziva at the back elevator returning from a visit with Abby. McGee's earlier plea to find out where Abby had gone the other night moved his teammate's heart - she'd always had a soft spot for the two friends who'd so often gotten their timing wrong. It wasn't hard to draw Abby out about her date without making her suspicious about motives, she was a spy after all. And the agent was relieved to learn there was nothing about the goth's plans that would threaten her teammate's peace of mind. On her way back to ease McGee's angst with the situation, Ziva didn't mind stopping for a moment in the alcove with her husband.

He grasped her arm gently. "Are you okay?" Her brow furrowed and he lightly traced her jaw, the bruise beginning to shadow her forearm. He should've been right at her back, then this wouldn't've happened.

She tipped her head, causing luxurious brown locks to spill over her shoulder. "Tony, I am fine."

Tony huffed. "Where have I heard that before?"

"Look at me," Ziva demanded. He did and she raised both hands to cup his face. "You are going to stop feeling guilty about this right now. I am fine. I am bruised but not hurt. I can take care of myself. I do it for both of us." She knew the necessity of coming home to her husband in one piece every night.

He swallowed. "Yeah. Okay. Sure." He blew out a breath, trying to get his heart out of his throat and back where it belonged. "Umm...want to go out for dinner tonight?"

She glanced back to see that no one had missed them yet. "The diner?"

Tony shook his head. "We need something more romantic and intimate than Travis's place." He checked for people that might overhear and tucked some hair behind her ear. "I just want somewhere I can be close to and maybe make out with you a little and not draw too much attention."

Ziva thought for a moment. "What about Harold Black?"

The snug speakeasy with its discreet location and sitting areas designed to feel like the whole place was just for the two of them exactly fit what he was looking for. "Perfect." He gave her a half-grin. "I love you Zi."

Her eyes widened because the sentiment was said in something less than a whisper, but she recovered quickly and patted his chest, then slid away and headed for her desk.

All three Team Gibbs' members were involved in paperwork when Jimmy showed up on their floor, walking with Agent Barrett upstairs. Tony spun slowly in his chair. "What's the Autopsy Gremlin up to?" McGee joined him as they watched, while Ziva paid little attention to anything except finishing her account of being disarmed so she could complete her report and be free to leave with her partner in a few hours.

EJ and Jimmy stopped at MTAC and, after checking with her, he held the eyeball up to the iris scanner. Ziva looked towards the familiar sound, all of them more than a little taken aback when the bolted doors released. Whoever the eye belonged to, that person had clearance.


	53. 8x21 Dead Reflection 2

**Tuesday April 12**

"Don't you ever just want to go see your friends without me or have a few hours by yourself?" Ziva inquired as she dried dishes from their meal. Not only had they been working on the case for five days straight, but he'd also taken her riding again tonight and she couldn't help wondering when the tipping point would come that he'd had enough of her for awhile.

Tony sighed and put down his crossword puzzle. "Between Agent Afloat and Summer 2009 I've had enough time by myself to last forever."

Her brow furrowed. "Normal husbands and wives don't spend every minute together from waking up, through work, to bedtime. They're at least apart during the day."

He did not see how that was an issue. They'd never fit into any normal parameters before. "Why would I want to be apart from you Zi? Give me one good reason."

She bit her lip, unable to think of one. "But we are together so much Tony! Home and work and Sunday afternoon basketball. Do you never need a break from me?"

Rather than act on his frustration he reminded himself again that few people in the last sixteen years of her life had spent time with her and wanted to be with her for her, no ulterior motives included. Tony got up and stood in her way, hands at her hips. "Why do you think I married you Ziva?"

Immediately the first things off his initial 'I love you' list came to mind and she repeated a few of them. "Because you think I am beautiful and intriguing and dangerous. Because I watch movies with you, threaten you just to see the look on your face, and feed you edible food?"

He huffed in exasperation. "I think you edited my comments. I believe the original wording was because you are a stellar cook. And you left out the part about my world rising and setting on your smile, and because I love you." His fingers tucked some hair behind her ear. "I asked you to marry me so we wouldn't have to be apart anymore. No more saying goodbye after movie night or good night after dinner, no more going our own separate ways when work was done and spending weekends apart." Tony cupped her face, making her really hear him. "I want to be with you Ziva, always - in my free time and at work, on Sundays with our friends and at home even if we do nothing at all." He kissed her gently. "Please stop waiting for me to get tired of this and look for a way out of us. It's not going to happen."

Thankfully the lid in her hand was only plastic because it fell to the floor when she threw her arms around his neck and smothered him with kisses. She whispered a soft 'thank you' when he lowered her back to the ground and continued the chore, but Tony couldn't help thinking that this time he'd gotten through and (hopefully) she'd never wonder about that again.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday April 13**

CJ called her husband during his free period, which coincided with the end of her last class. He smiled upon seeing her picture on the screen and answered, leaning back in his chair. "Mrs. MacKay, this is a nice surprise."

She winced, watching the tow truck guy hook her car up to the winch. "You might not think so when you hear the reason behind it."

"Oh?" Brent checked his watch. "Do I need to get permission to leave and send Ryan home with Wes and Breanna?"

"It's not that serious, but thanks." CJ sighed. "My car finally died." Her old white beater had been struggling for months and he wasn't really surprised it had finally given up the fight. "I'm sorry honey." It was the first one she'd bought with her own money so she was a little attached to the sad looking vehicle. "What happened?"

She shrugged. "I started it after class, got as far as the edge of the parking lot, it stalled and never turned back on. I'm getting it towed right now, but the driver has some mechanic training and says he may as well take it to the scrap yard and bypass the garage altogether."

"Make sure you get all your stuff out of it. You know what Shane says." Their mechanic was forever teasing CJ about all the things she kept stuffed under the front seats (kleenex boxes, phone books, kids' books, rags). His line was, 'Last time I checked this car is not a filing cabinet.'

CJ gave a rueful laugh. "Easier said than done beloved. You remember what the trunk looks like, right?"

Technically yes, it was his fault her trunk was so full. He'd insisted she keep emergency supplies in there for the winter and they hadn't quite got around to spring cleaning their vehicles yet. "Fair enough. So how are you and the car contents getting home if I'm not coming?"

"Actually, Cassie's here. I remembered she doesn't take students after lunch on Wednesdays and gave her a call. She's giving me and all the stuff a ride home. But..."

Brent nodded. "You work tomorrow and have no way to get there."

"It wouldn't be the first time I've taken the bus. Just makes life a little less convenient."

"We can do some looking this weekend," he suggested.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice." She sounded a little dejected. "Anyways, I just wanted to let you know. I'll meet you and Ry at home. Cassie and I may go out for a coffee first though, so don't worry if I'm not there when you get in."

"Sounds like fun. You never get a chance to be bored around Cass. Tell her I owe her one."

CJ relayed the message and laughed. "Cassie says you owe her several and one of these days she'll collect."

"Oh brother," he muttered. Sisters on a mission could be very dangerous, a fact he'd already learned the hard way once. "She's lucky I love her."

"Have a good rest of your day."

"See you soon honey. Love you."

"Ditto."

Brent got back to his class prep but half of his mind was already thinking about the right kind of car for CJ and calculating how much they should spend on a used vehicle.

He brought the subject up once Ryan was in bed, also lamenting the loss of their reliable old car. She'd had it for half of his life and he was sad to see it go. CJ came over to the couch with drinks and handed him a steaming mug. "So, wasn't expecting that."

"Life is all about surprises," he commented.

"The good news is I've got more than enough saved to cover the cost of a new one." Her salary was being mostly saved now that Brent had been fully supporting them for the last seven months.

At her comment Brent made a frustrated noise. "Okay, we've got to talk about this."

CJ was taken aback because she didn't know where that had come from. "Talk about what?"

"About what?" he asked. "CJ, can't you see it? You're still talking like there's a separation between us." He been wanting to bring the subject up for awhile but didn't know quite how to phrase it. "Honey, all the money we have should be ours. Not mine, not yours, ours. But you don't think that way. You use your salary to set aside school savings for Ryan. We never switched over to joint accounts after we got married. You still pay for your cell phone and student loan out of your wages."

She frowned. "They're my responsibility Brent. I took out that money for school, I need to pay it back. That shouldn't be on you."

Brent scraped his fingers through his hair before taking hold of her hand. "I really want us to be a true couple, one in every way. Not just physically and living in the same house, but a joint account that all our bills come out of. I want us to decide together how much we should be saving for Ryan's schooling and have it come from our money, not just yours. He's my son too. To choose how much we spend on presents for different occasions and what we buy for the gang." He licked his lips. "This is really down to the nitty gritty of being married, but I want all of it. I always have."

CJ rubbed her forehead. Talk about a big adjustment in thinking! She remembered how her pride had stung when he'd bought her a new laptop battery after the power outage a couple weeks before they were engaged, when she mentioned that hers was all but useless. He was trying to be nice, wanting to help take care of her even before she was willing to allow him to do so completely. She thought about her promise to let him support them once they were married and despite the discomfort she felt at the possibility of making Brent responsible for her school bills, she knew it was something that needed to be done.

Staring into her tea, she knew exactly what Aunt Kate would say about this dilemma and in fact the older woman had already warned her there would be moments when it would be harder to let Brent take the lead in their relationship, times when she would have to give up some of the ways of thinking she'd developed as a single mom and allow him to take on responsibilities as her husband. _"But CJ, I don't have to tell you that it will be so worth it to make those sacrifices. He loves you so much. Let him love you, okay?"_

She eventually lifted her eyes to his. "Being married is different than I thought. Taking two lives and making them into one..." She let out a breath. "I know what I promised Brent and I'm going to do my best. But it's really not easy to...give up the mentality I had when it was just me and Ry."

"I know." He kissed her fingers. "We'll take it one step at a time. First - car. After that we can slowly work on transitioning the banking stuff."

CJ offered him the glimmer of a smile. "First step - car. Check." Her brow furrowed. "Think we should give Shane a call and see if he has any advice? It's been a long time since I've had to look for a vehicle." Last time her dad had come out to California and helped her figure out which was the best option. He'd been trying so hard to make up for last time.

"Good idea. We can do that tomorrow. And since I doubt Ryan wants to spend the day bumming around used car lots with us, want to see if your parents can take him?"

"Okay." CJ kissed her husband softly. "Thanks for being so understanding...about everything. It's my turn now."

Brent put his arm around her shoulders. "Live and learn. We'll figure it out Kris, I promise."

And she knew he was one of the guys who could be counted on to keep his promises.

**NCIS**

Jimmy had thought of little else for the past month. He'd debated, deliberated, run the scenarios through his head. He'd planned, checked, double checked, and confirmed their date. Now he stood outside her apartment building, wiping sweaty palms on his pants for the third time as he waited for the woman he loved to appear. When she did Breena smiled brilliantly and threw her arms around his neck. "This is such a surprise! When you told me about the case I didn't think I'd get to see you until this weekend."

He kissed her softly and offered a half-grin, brushing his fingers over her cheek. "I couldn't wait that long."

She tilted her head. "You're so sweet. How did I get this lucky?"

Jimmy chuckled self-consciously. "I'm the lucky one."

They stared at each other a few minutes more, then Breena raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Where are we going?"

He took her hand, folding his fingers between hers. "I thought we'd start with a walk? Stars are really pretty tonight."

She loved that he noticed the simple things. "Perfect."

The couple began a slow wander down the sidewalk. It was quiet on her street, rather peaceful for the city, and when they reached the bench halfway down Jimmy stopped and they sat. "I-I called you tonight because I-I need to talk to you about something."

Breena laid her palm on his cheek. "Are you okay?"

He let out a breath. "Okay...might be an overstatement." Removing his glasses, he gave her that nervous little smile she found so endearing. Jimmy swallowed and slowly slid off the bench to kneel in front of her. "Bree, sweetie, you know how much I love you, right?" Tears already in her eyes, she nodded once, pressing her lips together as she waited. "I cannot tell you how thrilled I was when you said yes to a first date. Or how honoured I was to know that you'd somehow found me worthy to be the man you loved. But I can tell you how incredible it feels to have you in my life. I love you from the bottom of my heart and there is no way I can imagine my life without you. Will you marry me?"

She put her fingers over her mouth to hold back the emotion but a tear trailed down her cheek anyways. "Jimmy Palmer, you are exactly the kind of man I want to spend my life with."

Jimmy still wasn't convinced. "That's a yes, right?"

Breena grinned and leaned forward to kiss him and he accepted her offering gratefully. "Yes."

She'd never seen him so excited as when he stood and pulled her to her feet. His hands framed her face and he brought their lips together. The fervor of his kisses left her breathless and wanting more. It felt like they were the only two people in the world. Nothing could compare to this night.

**NCIS**

**Thursday April 14**

Tony got a text message when he woke up that made him frown at the urgency. _I need to talk to you right now! Meet me on the bench across from HQ as soon as you can. AP._

He frowned and rolled over to kiss Ziva's shoulder, continuing a slow line across and up her neck, stopping just behind her ear. "Good morning Mrs. DiNozzo."

She shifted to face him with a smile on her lips, one he met with his own. "Good morning."

They shared a long kiss, then he sighed. "I gotta run into work early."

Ziva's brow furrowed. "Is something wrong?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I'll update you later. Think you can snag me something for breakfast? I don't have time to stop."

Now she was anxious as well. "Of course. I will pick something up on my way in."

Tony grinned and claimed her tempting mouth one last time. "Thanks babe. See you there."

He was up and dressed and out the door before she even put her robe on and she chewed on her lip. That was highly unusual.

Worried about how serious the something might be that Jimmy needed to talk to him about, Tony drove as fast as he dared without being in ticket range and jogged across the street the moment the car was safely parked in the employee lot. He saw the Autopsy Gremlin before Jimmy saw him and the way the younger man paced back and forth in front of the bench made him nervous. "Got your 911 Palmer. What's going on?"

Jimmy looked up with a grin which quickly fell once he caught Tony's expression. "Did I say 911? I didn't mean to make you worry." He grabbed his phone to check the text and see what he'd written. "I just...I really needed to see you and I hoped- I'm sorry if-"

Tony cut him off. "Relax Black Lung. Breathe." Jimmy did as ordered, one long breath in and a slow one out. "Now, explain."

Joy lit his face and he grinned widely. "Breena said yes!"

Tony's eyebrows jumped up. "Yes what?" But he'd seen that kind of happiness before on his own face when Ziva gave him the answer he wanted and he just knew. "Took our advice seriously, huh?"

"It's all I've thought about since that morning at the crime scene." Jimmy's thoughts drifted back to the night before when Breena made him the happiest man in the world. "And she said yes!"

Tony pulled him in for a hug and then held him at arm's length. "Congratulations Jimmy. That is fantastic news! Well worth jumping out of bed and coming here for."

Jimmy winced. "Sorry about that. I haven't slept yet and it messes with my logical thought process."

A glance at his watch showed there was still time before work. "You might be able to grab a quick nap on an empty table in Autopsy." Palmer showed an immediate dislike for the suggestion. "Or Abby keeps a bedroll and pillow in the Ballistics Lab."

"Yeah. Right. Good idea."

He started to walk away but Tony stopped him. "When's the big day?"

Jimmy's face fell a little at that. "Well, not soon enough actually. We're talking it through, but right now it looks like next spring."

Tony's eyebrows drew together. "Why so far away?"

He sighed. "Breena's dad doesn't really like me much. Umm...or at all, really. She wants to give him time to get used to the news and hopes we'll develop some sort of actual relationship before we get married. And apparently it takes months to actually plan a wedding. I didn't realize it was so complicated. I'd rather..." Jimmy pushed up his glasses. "That's just so long to wait. But she's been dreaming of this day since she was a little girl and I...can't take that away from her."

Tony squeezed his shoulder. "You're a good man Jimmy Palmer. I guarantee she'll be worth the wait."

"Oh, I'm not arguing that," Jimmy clarified, all the while wondering how Tony could make that kind of guarantee when he'd never been married.

"We'll look forward to invitations." The younger man's expression was a blank and Tony prompted. "The team does get to come, right?"

Palmer blinked. "Of course. Absolutely. I just...hadn't thought that far ahead yet."

Chuckling, Tony pushed him towards the building. "Sleep first, think second. And seriously man, congratulations."

"Somehow I knew you'd be a good one to tell first. Thanks Tony."

The senior field agent watched his friend cross the street, in case he actually walked into traffic, then dropped onto the bench. Who would've thought, out of all of them, that Jimmy Palmer would be the one to have a serious girlfriend and be ready to settle down? A smile spread across his face. He'd enjoy ribbing the Autopsy Gremlin about his upcoming nuptials, but on the inside he would be so happy for him. Not only did Jimmy deserve this, but Tony knew from experience that it would be the best decision his friend had ever made.

**NCIS**

Due to Tony's change in plans Ziva also came into work early, bearing a take out bag of the breakfast he'd requested. Seeing as they weren't officially on the clock yet the couple headed for the breakroom and again appropriated one of the tables. Ziva glanced both ways and smiled at him, looking truly relaxed for the first time in weeks. "There is such freedom in knowing EJ is out of the country. I feel like I can actually breathe without having to wonder what corner she might be lurking around next."

After discovering the eyeball had MTAC clearance, EJ and the other two members of her team left to investigate the person it came from. Since she was heading for Hawaii they estimated she would be gone over a week, maybe more if they were lucky. So far they were just enjoying the uninterrupted peace of the last few days. "I know what you mean." Tony dug into his bacon and egg sandwich. "Mmm...this is really good." He frowned at his wife, then swallowed. "Didn't you get anything for yourself?"

She shrugged. "I had a banana at home.

Tony's nose wrinkled. "Not good enough." He rummaged through the bag and came up with a crispy hashbrown. She always got him extra knowing that was his favourite. "Here, have one."

"Tony, I-" she tried to protest but he shoved it into her hand.

"Eat. Enjoy. Say thank you."

Ziva rolled her eyes at his concern and delicately bit off the end. "Thank you." She waited a few more moments, then, "So, are you going to tell me what the mad rush out the door this morning was all about?"

He dropped his food as if a lightning bolt had hit. "I can't believe I forgot!" Tony grinned bigger than she'd seen in awhile. "Palmer's getting married! He proposed to Breena last night and she said yes!"

Clasping her hands together, she looked at him with shining eyes. "I am so happy for them." Ziva tilted her head. "It is quite an honour to be the first person he told. I am glad to see your friendship is still intact even after so many years removed from the roles you both took on when Gibbs retired."

"Jimmy's a good guy. I have a lot of respect for him. But he's like McGee, too easy to tease sometimes."

"I'm sure he knows you care because you do tease him."

Tony took a long pull on his orange juice straw. "Abby'll be the second one he tells."

Her brow furrowed. "How can you be so sure? I would expect Dr. Mallard to top the list after you."

He chuckled. "Poor guy was so excited he hadn't slept yet. I sent him to the Ballistic's Lab to crash for an hour. When Abby shows up and finds him there, she's going to demand an explanation. If the whole building hasn't heard his news by the end of the day I'll be extremely surprised."

Ziva reached over and drew her fingers lightly over his hand, particularly the empty place where his wedding band belonged. "I wish that for us, sometimes. To see the excitement on our friends' faces, to feel their joy as they share in our announcement." She sighed. "I do not know how and I do not know when, but I am looking forward to the day it is our turn."

Tony lifted her hand, kissing the emerald ring from their first anniversary. "That's gotta be a step up from dreading it." Of course, given Gibbs' reaction to a suggestion of something with EJ it didn't seem likely that they'd get the answer they hoped from him.

She nodded. "At least it is something in the right direction." It was habit to check again for witnesses before she finished. "I love you."

He closed his eyes briefly. He would never be able to hear that enough.

**NCIS**

**Friday April 15**

Tony got back from walking Meira and was in the bathroom waiting when Ziva stepped out of the shower. He grinned. "Hello beautiful."

She paused in squeezing water from her hair and glanced down at her towel clad self. "This is beautiful to you?"

His brow furrowed. "You're beautiful Zi. There's no conditions on that." Tony moved to her and pushed heavy wet waves off her shoulder. "I say that all the time, don't you know I mean it?"

Ziva flapped her hand. "I thought it was just one of your throw phrases."

Tony chuckled and drew his fingers up her arm, leaning in. "Catch phrase. And no, it's not."

Her lips parted willingly under the gentle pressure of his and her fingers slid through the back of his hair. Always one to take advantage of moments like this, Tony tilted his head and deepened the kiss, savouring the taste of his wife. Ziva responded languidly, keeping them from getting over involved, but she was so relaxed and pliable under his hands that he couldn't help running them all over her body. The need for air was the only thing that broke them apart and Tony rested his forehead on hers. "We should start every day like this."

She smirked and pecked his lips once more. "If we did, you would always be late for work."

His eyebrows jumped up. "Me?! Why only me?"

Ziva laughed and brushed past her husband, heading for their room. "Because I believe speed limits are more like guidelines than actual rules."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Thank you Captain Barbossa. Can we agree to come back to this later?" he called after her.

She stuck her head back in the door and winked. "If you're lucky."

He grinned. "Oh babe, I am definitely feeling lucky today." Hopefully that luck extended to tonight, because there was nothing Tony loved more than an opportunity to enjoy his wife.

**NCIS**

Jordan was a little late coming home after work so Allie had already started supper by the time he walked in. She dried her hands on a small towel and went to meet him with a smile and a kiss. "I was starting to worry."

"Sorry, had an important stop to make."

Her eyebrows lifted in question. "Oh?"

"Yeah." He grinned and held up a coral coloured flower. "I just wanted to show this rose how beautiful you are."

The corners of Allie's mouth curved up. "Did you now?" She couldn't keep the smile in and accepted his gift, breathing in the delicate scent. "Well, I guess that is a good enough reason for being late. In that case, I'll still feed you."

Jordan claimed her lips for a long moment. "Good. Because I'm starving." For more than just food however. Later he'd share with his wife that a coral rose symbolized a desire he hoped very much to act on. Right now he wanted to enjoy the delight in her expression for a little longer. Sweet, simple, and to the point - the best pick up lines only had to be a few words with a whole lot of meaning behind them.

**NCIS**

"Date night is never to be taken for granted again," Cassie announced after they'd dropped the kids off with her dad and Claire. This week had been kind of challenging, both normally well-behaved kids were pushing their limits and the bounds of their parents' patience.

"I second that." Mark leaned his head back against the seat. "I know we had other plans, but I feel a need to decompress right now. Can we do something tomorrow and just chill tonight?"

"House to ourselves, we can do anything we want."

He kissed her hand. "You are an amazing gracious wife. Have I told you lately that I love you?"

Cassie smirked. "You can always show me later." She paused. "Or tomorrow, if your energy returns by then."

Mark bit back a grin. "Never too tired for that Mrs. Reece. And I've always preferred showing to telling."

"I know."

They got home and Cassie grabbed two glass bottles from the bottom shelf of the fridge, using an opener to pry the tops off. Handing one to her husband, she clinked their drinks together. "Cheers." Both indulged in swallows of the old fashioned soda pop that was their special indulgence - kids and gang members alike knew never to touch the extras stashed in the refrigerator.

"Ah." Mark leaned back against the counter. "That's more like it." He was quiet for a few minutes, then turned to his wife. "So, what's your pleasure?"

"A day at the spa, a whirlpool tub all to myself, and a massage given by a very good looking man." She sighed like that was an unattainable dream. "But back here in reality I'll settle for a bath with my husband as a precursor to...other activities."

He kissed her slowly. "I could even get you that massage, if it fits the mood."

"We'll see." Cassie made her way upstairs with Mark following close behind. She was in the ensuite getting undressed when he walked in wearing just his underwear. He moved past her and set his back against the wall, arms crossed. "So, do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"

Her lighthearted laughter filled the room and she fixed him with the most adorable look before crooking her finger at him. Mark approached slowly and pulled her close. "Mr. Reece, it has always been love at first sight." She indulged the tender kiss he gave and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her face against his skin so he could feel her breath. "I love that after sixteen years you still want to flirt with me."

He held her tighter. "We'll never be married too long for that Cass, I promise."

For being sweet he got a response passionate enough to consider skipping a bath altogether in favour of the main attraction. As far as reactions went, that had to be pretty high up the list. Tony was dreaming if he thought he was winning this bet. Playing a game had never been so rewarding.

**NCIS**

**Saturday April 16**

Ziva stopped on their walk from the henna tattoo shop after the third symbol for strength had dried over her scar and leaned on the railing. "Bridges are romantic."

Tony slid his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. "Are they?"

"Mmhmm."

"Why?"

She looked down at the water. "Because they remind me of Paris and love. There are always love scenes on bridges in movies."

"Which ones?" He was curious to see how much attention she'd paid.

"Oh, _Anne of Green Gables_. And _The Swan Princess_."

So maybe she'd been around for one too many group dinners where the film had been McKenna's pick. "Anything else?"

Ziva glanced over her shoulder. "Was there a bridge in _Letters to Juliet_?"

Tony shook his head. "Balcony. Good moment, though a little cheesy."

"_A Walk to Remember_?"

He pursed his lips. "Dock. But pretty close. And another balcony, at the end. Starlight proposal - I should've thought of that."

"I like yours better," Ziva assured him.

Tony grinned. "Good to know."

She wasn't done yet. "_Ever After_?"

Now she was just testing him. He could have fun with this. "Gypsy campfire. Similar to _Ella Enchanted_, except they had giants." Now who'd been watching too many little girl movies?

"_Speed_?"

"Airport tarmac." Classic scene, but he wouldn't've classified that one as a romance per se.

"_The Lake House_."

"Mailbox. And backyard." His fingers crept up her side and she squirmed away from the tickling. "Give me something harder."

"_Miss Potter_."

That was one of hers. "Train station." Bittersweet ending. And they'd had too many close calls of their own.

"_While You Were Sleeping_."

He chuckled. "Someone else's wedding. Very bad taste. Then a subway station."

"_The Village_."

He frowned. "Odd choice for a romance Zi."

She smirked. "I like danger."

Tony sighed and rubbed his thumb over her hand. "Front porch at night. Very sweet speech for a guy of few words." He knew the moment was a particular favourite of hers.

Ziva leaned back against his chest. "Tell me the other bridge ones."

"Hmm." Tony put some real thought into the request. "_Tom and Huck_ before he stuck his foot in it with Becky. They were engaged for all of five seconds, so that's got to be a record."

Her eyes narrowed. "They were also twelve."

"Good point." His brow furrowed. Coming up with a list was harder than he thought. "There's a pretty good bridge kiss at the end of the third _Transformers_ movie." From her expression he knew that wasn't quite what she was looking for, however he'd saved the best for last. "But if I had to pick one, I'd say _A Little Romance_. The main characters don't kiss on a bridge, however, the bridge itself plays a fairly significant role." Tony tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Tradition holds that if two people kiss beneath the Bridge of Sighs in Venice at sunset, they will be in love forever. And two kids travel a great distance to reach for that reality."

Ziva had turned in his arms and she smoothed her hand down his shirt. "Perhaps we should go there someday." She wanted to see Italy with him, the place of his heritage.

He leaned his forehead on hers. "Do we need to have a love scene of our own on a bridge Mrs. DiNozzo?" He never got tired of calling her that, claiming her with his name.

She smiled. "Yes, I think we do."

Tony brought his mouth to hers, his hand cradling the back of her head, while Ziva's hands drifted up his neck, fingers sifting into his hair. There was no rush, no worry, no witnesses, and for a long time they just shared sweet kisses and didn't bother thinking of anything except each other. It was, in the end, a very nice bridge scene to add to their own collection of best romantic moments and he couldn't help repeating a quote that just seemed perfect for the time and place. "Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favourite."

Ziva laughed and shook her head. "Where did you get that?"

All he could do was stare at her, soaking in the happiness exuding from his wife. She'd been like this yesterday too - and even Eli's letter number five wasn't allowed to ruin her joy, so she threw it away with barely a pause and then kissed him into a stupor. He'd barely remembered later to change all the garbage while she was in the bathroom and when she asked why he didn't just wait until Sunday to worry about that, he simply said he had to do it when he was thinking about it so he didn't forget. Tony left out the part about hiding the letters in his bottom desk drawer, that was for later.

He finally shrugged and answered. "I saw it in a Hallmark store."

"Very appropriate." She rested her head on his shoulder. "Tony, I think today has been a perfect day." Ziva didn't see how it could get any better.

Holding her face very carefully in his hands, Tony claimed her lips again. "I'm hoping this particular scene is a preview of the rest of their lives." If only every day could look just like this one.

**NCIS**

**Sunday April 17**

She'd never been woken up like this before, that was for sure, but Ziva knew she could definitely get used to it. Rather than her husband's hands and lips coaxing her out of dreams, this time she was drawn awake by the soft sound of a guitar being strummed in the livingroom. For several moments she lay in bed and listened, then she wrapped the sheet around herself and tiptoed to the doorway where she could observe her husband unnoticed. Tony was picking out notes, moving up and down the neck and trying different frets, all the while humming along to a melody in his head.

Not wanting to interrupt, she retreated into the room and began getting dressed, being sure to make enough noise that Tony would notice. He did and very soon set the guitar aside so he could greet his wife and get his good morning kiss. The day just wouldn't be the same without it. Of course, they very rarely stopped with one kiss but before the couple got past make out territory Tony's stomach grumbled and Ziva broke away with a laugh.

"Time to feed the hungry bear, yes?" she asked, patting his abs.

"Beast." He stole one last kiss and slung his arm around her waist. "I guess we better. Big plans today."

"Oh?" One raised eyebrow encouraged him to continue but he shook his head.

"Nope, saving it for after we eat."

His wife's patience and her curiosity were not evenly matched or he would've been in trouble. Instead of prying for information she got down bowls and pulled out two kinds of cereal while Tony stuck bread in the toaster and grabbed a frying pan for bacon. They shared sections of the newspaper during the meal, occasionally commenting on something or reading an article out loud to each other. Then dishes were collected and washed and it was finally time to tell her what was on their agenda for the day.

Now that he was back to full health, Tony had determined it was time to make up for their missed rockclimbing date and informed his wife of that fact. Ziva lit up and he loved being the cause. "We're going now?"

"Yup," he grinned smugly. "Already called Mark and told him this was a very special day for us, so we'd have to pass on basketball."

Her brow furrowed and she glanced at the calendar. "Why is it special?"

Tony shook his head. "And I thought girls were the ones who kept all the important dates in their heads."

Ziva's gaze narrowed and she began ticking them off on her fingers. "Day we met. First kiss. First official date. First 'I love yous'. Engagement. Day we moved into our house. Marriage. What am I missing?"

As much as he wanted to drag out the suspense a bit longer, he gave in. "This, my dear Zee-vah, is halfway between our first 'not a date' and our first official date." Tony pursed his lips. "And technically tomorrow is too, because exactly halfway was twenty-six point five days which doesn't work quite as well."

She slid her arms around his neck. "Who am I to argue with logic like that?"

Their mouths met and melded and he pulled back to share yet another 'I love you reason' from his list. "Nine hundred twenty-six - I love you for your melt in my mouth baking and chef level cooking."

Ziva laughed. "But I did not cook this morning."

He rolled his eyes. "Minor details."

"Anything else?" Lately he'd taken to giving her more than one in a row.

Tony tipped his head to the side as if considering how much to share. "I love you for your loyalty to us and our friends and our team."

She brushed her nose over his. "I love you for the same reason."

He made a face. "No interrupting."

Ziva put a finger over her lips. "Sorry."

His lips stole the apology on her next breath. "And I love you for teaching me your language and letting me inside your heart."

Ziva pressed her hand to his heart. "At the time that was the only thing of mine I had to give. I definitely chose the right man."

"I missed a great opportunity to put a pick up line in my proposal," Tony suddenly lamented.

"Oh?"

He grinned. "I should've led with, 'Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.'"

She chuckled, eyes twinkling. "You are ridiculous."

"Maybe," he shrugged, "but you're smiling so I guess I did something right."

"Ahava," his wife whispered, claiming his mouth once more, "you are always doing something right."

**NCIS**

**Monday April 18**

Flowers were delivered to Ziva's desk mid-morning and she opened the card a bit warily for the team's sake, then sighed and shoved it in her back pocket. Tony glanced sympathetically across the room. "Rob still trying to make up for being a first class jerk?"

She rolled her eyes. "That is none of your business Tony."

In fact, the flowers were from her thoughtful husband and the card made her fight not to smile. _Happy Five Years of Relationship Sweetheart! And many more to come. I love you - TD. _

It was not very covert, but they'd planned her reaction to any gifts he gave at the office to make them appear from someone else. And with the current situation he knew no one would ask to see the card. Ziva sighed. "Gibbs...may I have a few minutes to take these somewhere else? I would rather not look at them all day." As a matter of fact she wished she could look at them all day, but she didn't have enough confidence in her ability to look disappointed each time rather than delighted as she actually was.

He gave a brief nod and she picked up the vase. "I will not be long." Just long enough to leave the vase on the floor of her car where it could safely hide until they headed home tonight.

Ziva made it back upstairs in time to see Tony flex his fingers and groan, rubbing his forearm gingerly. McGee glanced over. "Tough workout Tony?"

"No," he shook his head. "Had a date yesterday and we went rockclimbing. I'm feeling it a little bit."

"Rockclimbing?" McGee commented. "Sounds like fun. Must be the adventurous type of girl."

"Yup. Tough too."

Tim grinned. "She kicked your butt, didn't she?"

He sat up a little straighter. "We were decently matched."

The probie snickered like he didn't believe a word of it and Ziva did her best to remain introspective, but inside she was thinking about their date and how much fun they'd had racing up a rock face. The anniversary of their fifth year together would get even better tonight, because the back of the card said he was taking her out for dessert at one of DC's more upscale restaurants. _Special occasions should always be celebrated with flair_, Tony wrote and she had to admit he was doing a spectacular job. She definitely owed him for this one.

**NCIS**

It took him a whole week, but Gibbs finally picked up the phone Monday night to call Celeste. She answered with relief in her voice. "If this was how you felt then it's been two very long weeks for both of us."

He let out a breath. "You were right. Not a bad idea to take a step back and use the space to figure things out."

She sighed. "Have we figured anything out?"

"I know this - California is too far away."

Celeste chuckled softly. "I'm afraid I can't rearrange geography to make it any closer."

Probably best. He couldn't think clearly with her close all the time. "I also think not rushing where this is going is in both our best interests." Gibbs slumped back into the couch. "Whatever the next step is, I refuse to make a mess of us a second time."

"The responsibility doesn't all lie with you," she reminded him. "But I'm really glad to hear you say that."

He fiddled with the carving knife but didn't bring his project out yet. "The stories you want...need to hear will come Les. But some will have to be face to face."

"I thought maybe telling the hard ones over the phone would make it less intimidating." The last thing she wanted was for him to feel any pressure when he shared about the other women who'd held his heart before her.

Gibbs nodded at her wisdom. "Maybe there'll be some of that too."

"So for now...business as usual?" Celeste queried, not wanting to steer the conversation into deep waters for the time being.

"For now," he agreed.

"Did you solve the case that made you stay late last week?"

"Work in progress." Gibbs hesitated. "The guy Ziva's...oh, but the team isn't on our approved list of topics anymore."

Celeste slid her fingers into Lexie's soft fur. "I didn't mean you can't ever talk about them, they are the people you spend most of your time with. I was just hoping every conversation we have wouldn't revolve around them."

"And this one?" He couldn't afford to guess wrong.

"Catch me up. I feel very out of the loop. What about Ziva?"

"The guy she's been talking to since her Miami trip in September showed up to surprise her at the office yesterday."

"Oh...wow. I bet Tony didn't like that very much."

"Not really," Gibbs concurred. "Not sure I do either."

"I thought you were glad she was interested in someone else."

"I was. But turns out the guy is CIA, so I don't trust him. And he lied to her, so I don't trust him." He paused and felt his anger rising again. "And he really hurt my girl, so I want to show him the consequences of his error in judgement."

"I assume NCIS frowns upon altercations with members of fellow agencies?"

"Yeah." He sighed, because roughing up CIRob was a very attractive option right now. Especially after how she'd acted with the flowers this morning. "Guess I have to leave it for her to handle."

"That would be wise. But if Ziva asks for your help that's a whole different story. You remember I've seen you in Interrogation Jethro. You can be quite intimidating when the situation calls for it."

"I'll keep that in mind." Gibbs figured that was enough about the team and work. "How'd you spend your week?"

_Thinking about you_, was what immediately came to Celeste's mind but she couldn't say that part out loud. She did, however, greatly look forward to the day when being honest with her ex-husband about how she felt was something not only allowed as part of their relationship, but encouraged and also reciprocated.

**NCIS**

Two months. Two very long months of going from seeing Abby as much as he thought he could get away with to as little as he thought he could get away with. Their interactions had been strained, their usually cozy working relationship frigid, and their time together outside of the office non-existent. And Tim was tired of it. That's why tonight he'd bucked up the courage and come over to her place, determined to start making things right - if indeed she'd give him that chance. He stood outside her door for a good ten minutes before he could make himself knock, then he took a deep breath and sent up a prayer. He needed all the help he could get.

Abby opened the door with a smile, it could've been any number of people since she enjoyed having visitors, but the expression feel into something more like confusion when she saw who was on the other side. "McGee? What are you doing here?" After the last several weeks of losing everything that made their relationship special, this was the last thing she expected.

"Hey Abbs," he managed, shoving his hands in his pockets. He swallowed and stared at the ground, momentarily unable to get any further into his mission, then he forced his eyes up to hers. Man, had he missed looking into those expressive green orbs! "Uh...can I...take you to dinner?"

She blinked, almost in a state of shock, but recognized the vulnerability and fear of rejection in his face and posture. She thought about how hurt she'd been when he wanted to take a step back and how she'd called everything they were doing quits to make it less difficult. But that decision and its ramifications had been extremely difficult and not just for her. She remembered the loss she'd felt as the weeks dragged on without her movie night and dinner buddy. She recalled their symbiosis in working together and wanted that again. Most of all Abby took herself back years ago to their first try at something more, when she knew what it was like to be in his shoes, to be the one freaking out because they were getting too close.

With all of that in mind she found the answer easy to give and for once kept it simple. "Yes."

Hope leapt into his troubled gaze and she could see the gratitude shining through clear as day. Abby grabbed her purse, tucked her hand around his arm like always, and they walked out together. Wherever this path was leading them, they'd finally taken the first step and she believed it was finally one in the right direction.


	54. 8x22 Baltimore

**Wednesday April 20**

When Ziva came out of the bathroom Tony was frantically digging through the sofa, pulling cushions off and batting throw pillows to the ground. "No, no, no, no!"

Frowning, she approached him. "Tony, what is the matter?"

His head jerked up. "Ziva, tell me you've seen my phone."

Her mouth fell open slightly, brow furrowing. "Did you not have it last night?" They always left their phones on their nightstands for middle of the night case calls.

"If I had it last night I wouldn't be looking for it now!" he spit out, frustrated by his inability to locate the important little piece of technology.

She wrinkled her nose. "There's no need to snap. I will help."

Together the couple searched their bedroom, the bathroom, the office, and every piece of clothing that had been worn the previous day. At last, running dangerously late on time, Tony sank down on the arm of the couch. "This is a disaster."

Ziva had to agree, but saying that out loud would not make him feel better. "Maybe you left it at work."

His eyes lit up and hope was rekindled. He gave her a quick kiss and dashed out the door with his backpack in tow, jumping in the car and backing out of the drive. Ziva took a moment to survey their home, which appeared to have been hit by a miniature tornado, gave Meira a gentle pat, and headed out. Even with the hurry he was in, she was confident she would still arrive at the office ahead of her husband.

She was right. But less than a minute after Ziva sat down at her desk, Tony strode quickly into the bullpen. "Hey guys, anybody see my phone laying around somewhere?"

Though his wife was aware of the situation, as his partner she had a role to play. "Good morning to you too Tony."

He dropped his things on the floor. "Actually it's the worst morning in the history of mornings." Not entirely true. The worst morning of his life was the one he woke to after being told his wife had drowned off the coast of Africa. An apology flickered in his gaze when he glanced at Ziva before walking towards McGee's space. "My phone. Please tell me you saw it."

McGee winced. "You lost your cell? Ouch."

"You are a capable investigator," Ziva pointed out. "Why don't you just...investigate?"

His eyes narrowed briefly, then he nodded in agreement, "Yes," and proceeded to dump out each drawer in his desk, leaving a pile of miscellaneous collected items strewn across the floor. Ziva and McGee stared, it was hard not to, but even Tony didn't have an answer ready when Gibbs came around the corner.

Trying to help, Ziva began, "Tony lo-"

But Gibbs cut her off. "I don't wanna know."

Tony's expression said that was a wise choice and he went back to his search.

Gibbs sat down and got to work, but after several minutes passed he finally had enough of his senior field agent crawling around on the floor. "DiNozzo, what the heck are you doing?" he demanded.

"I can't find my phone." He got up on his knees. "You haven't seen it by any chance?"

Gibbs unclipped the relic he wore and tossed it over. "Use mine."

Tony weighed it in his hand. "Wow, that's heavy. Uh, I need something with a computer on it so I can program ringtones, otherwise I-" He stopped when he caught Ziva's 'knock it off' gesture and cleared his throat, about to say 'thank you'. Then it rang and he held it out to Gibbs.

The man rolled his eyes. "This isn't rocket science. Answer it."

Whatever the person on the other end said was relayed in Tony's short sentences, "Dead guy. Navy lodge." He pitched it carefully in Gibbs' direction and as he walked by the boss held it out again. Tony looked at a phone model from at least seven years ago and passed. "That's very nice of you, but I'm good."

Gibbs eyed the mess surrounding Tony's desk with a disbelieving look, then continued to the elevator.

**NCIS**

From the look of their plastic wrapped body laying on the lawn, the P2P killer was not back burnered anymore. Tony circled the victim taking pictures while Ducky handed McGee a knife to cut away the plastic, giving observations the whole way from feet to face. As the wrapping was pulled away Tony lowered the camera and slowly crouched down. Ziva could see in every part of him - eyes, face, posture, stillness - that there was a serious problem no one else had discovered yet. "Is there something wrong Tony?"

"Yeah," Tony answered slowly, never moving his gaze from the man's face. "I know him."

That was news. Gibbs looked closer while McGee asked the obvious question. "Who is he?"

Tony sighed. "Danny Price, my old partner."

The announcement floored Ziva and as they continued to work the crime scene she became increasingly anxious to get him alone so she could hold him against the hurt the way he so often did for her.

Tony was not his usual self during Ducky's report of initial findings, doing his best to keep his gaze off Danny's body, and it didn't make him feel better at all when the ME and Gibbs determined that a coincidence of him knowing the victim wasn't even worth considering. When asked about his former partner, the senior field agent was succinct for once. "We worked homicide in Baltimore together. He was asked to retire a few years after I left for NCIS." That was not a time of his life he liked to remember in too much detail. "Came from money, not that he ever saw much of it. His dad wasn't around much and his mom died when he was a kid." Tony wasn't the only one who thought he could've been talking about himself.

"So you and he had quite a lot in common," the ME observed. "I'm surprised I never heard you mention him."

Tony remembered back to when he and Danny were just getting to know each other. They used to joke about being brothers separated in childhood, so similar were their upbringings. "We lost touch, time went by. Too much time."

"And when it's gone, you can never get it back," Ducky intoned.

Tony's tone fell flat. "Thanks for that."

The next stop was Abby's lab after Gibbs sent his senior field agent upstairs, though unfortunately she had nothing new. Everything was the same as the other P2P victims. She worried they'd never catch him but Gibbs remained confident the killer would eventually make a mistake as all criminals did at some point or another. She didn't find much comfort in his statement and was descending into self-pity, but related that the killer might have already made a mistake. The fortune in the cookie their dead guy had been holding was 'Keep your friends close but your enemies closer'. They could trace who made the cookie because of the initials in the dough, which likely came from an embossed cookie sheet. Therefore, it had to be someone with access to the kitchen who put the quote in before the cookie was folded, if it wasn't random. Gibbs was adamant that the saying wasn't incidental.

"But if the quote isn't random," Abby argued, "then what does that mean?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Nothing good."

"What if the killer's trying to tell us he's gonna come after our friends? I mean, Tony knew the victim."

It was that possibility which chilled Gibbs' blood. The killer had no qualms about delivering more bodies. He didn't want to take the chance that one of his people could be next.

**NCIS**

McGee and Ziva walked together down a colourful block of Baltimore on their way to the fortune cookie company. "I think Tony's more upset than he's letting on."

Ziva agreed with her teammate's assessment, but she had to be careful of what she said and how it would sound. "He and his former partner had not spoken in several years."

McGee turned the tables. "Let's say you and I hadn't seen each other in years and I get my throat slit by a serial killer."

She saw his point. "I would hunt him down and make him regret the day he was born."

Tim smiled. "That's why I always want you in my corner Ziva. We're not just partners, we're friends. Same with Tony."

Yes, but what were they to do about it when he was keeping them all at arm's length? That was a question to be pondered later because they arrived at their destination.

They learned from the owner that the colour of the cookie was wrong and the saying wasn't one of his. However, there had been a break in at the bakery five weeks ago where some trays were taken. The police made out a report, collected some evidence, and ate half a case of cookies but had no suspects, so Dao Huang wasn't expecting much progress to be made. McGee offered NCIS to look into the case for him and they soon found themselves back in the bullpen explaining to Gibbs that there was no physical evidence of any kind left at the scene.

Tony mentioned that sounded like P2P's MO and when asked about witnesses shrugged one shoulder. "Sort of. The police report lists a cracked out junkie. Says he saw a car leaving the scene." Gibbs took the folder and went for his glasses, but they seemed to be MIA so Tony continued. "No plates, just a make and model. Police never put out a BOLO, didn't think it was credible."

McGee was tasked to do what the police didn't while Ziva tried to find more information to track down the junkie and Gibbs spared a rare compassionate moment for his senior field agent. "Talk to me."

Tony didn't make eye contact. "About what?"

"Are you okay?"

He answered very quickly in a neutral tone. "I'm fine." Gibbs gave him a look that Tony interpreted correctly. "This has nothing to do with that. Ancient history."

"Yeah, I know, but that doesn't make it any easier."

"I'm fine," Tony repeated, then sighed and did his best not to glance his wife's direction. "I'm more worried about Abby's theory that the Port-to-Port killer is targeting our friends. We can't protect all of them."

"We protect them by catching the killer, same as you did before."

_Easier said that done_, the younger man thought. They hadn't had a lot of luck so far.

At his desk, now put back together from this morning's wild search that no longer seemed important, he picked up his prized Mighty Mouse stapler, recalling how it had been the prize for winning the 2001 station house pool championship, his second in a row. At the time it seemed like a lame choice, but there were a lot of memories packed into the little piece of office equipment. He wished again that he could find his stupid phone so that he had something to distract himself with while waiting for somebody to stumble on a lead. An idea suddenly hit him and when no one else was looking he borrowed his partner's cell from her purse while she was on her desk phone and not paying attention to him, then headed outside for some space from all the pitying glances and the choking layer of memories. He doubted anyone would miss him for a few minutes and he desperately needed to clear his head.

With her partner nowhere to be found once their witness was brought in, Ziva attempted to interrogate the junkie alone but was frustrated with the results, something she vented to Gibbs when she escaped into the hall. "That was just a waste of time. He had nothing to add to his statement about the robbery at the bakery and all he did was stink up the room." She made a face. "It needs to be fumigated before I will go back in."

Gibbs took a whiff and stepped back. "Yeah, twice." He grabbed hold of a memory - him watching from the other side of the glass while Tony and Danny tried to get information from a different junkie, Joey Peanuts. Tony's interrogation style had evolved and improved with time, but even then they had a flow that worked and what he'd seen was two men who were very good at their jobs.

Ducky found them to tell about Abby's email, which alerted to minor error in one of his internal reports five weeks ago. "As you know, the Port-to-Port killer secures his victims' feet with rope. The specific knot is called a double constrictor."

Ziva's brow furrowed. "I thought it was just plain constrictor knot."

The ME sighed in frustration. "Well that is the error. Mr. Palmer managed to leave out the word 'double' when he transcribed my notes."

Gibbs shrugged and started walking away. "No big deal Duck, just a typo."

"Jethro!" Ducky implored, trailing after them. "The knot on our latest victim's feet is a single constrictor. It's almost as if someone is using my notes, typo and all, to duplicate the murders. I know details can change for several reasons, but given the Port-to-Port killer's almost pathological need for consistency, I can only think of one in this case."

"It's not the Port-to-Port killer," Gibbs finished, giving an answer to the riddle.

"We have a copycat Jethro," Ducky concluded. "One who has access to our internal records."

That statement sent McGee to try and figure out how someone got access, a difficult task when they had so little to go on now that the killer wasn't who they thought. "I'll have to rerun everything and see if maybe the copycat didn't cover his tracks as well as the original P2P."

Another twenty minutes passed while they worked with the new information and then Tony returned, interrupting an update. "I've got something else." They all looked at him expectantly and no one demanded where he'd been, a fact for which he was grateful. "Found my cell. Left it at..." he hesitated slightly "...well, where I was last night."

His gaze flickered to Ziva and she closed her eyes briefly. The barn. She should've thought of that. It could've fallen out anywhere on the grounds. But he hadn't been gone the two hours it would take to drive to Maryland and back, so they must've couriered it over for him.

Gibbs immediately assumed things, incorrect things, about where he'd been the night before but Tony ignored the glare in favour of continuing. "I had a few missed calls but only one message worth mentioning." He sighed. "It was left near midnight." Putting the phone on speaker, he held it out so they could all hear.

"Hey Tony, it's Danny. Long time no speak." The voice paused. "Uh, I've been thinking about things lately - old friends, TV dinners, things I messed up, things right in front of my face I shoulda seen. But I'm not the only one who saw what he wanted to. We need to talk. Better late than never, huh? Call me."

McGee's brow furrowed. "Any idea what that was about?"

Tony shook his head, deeply regretting missing his last chance to talk to his friend. "No. But it's definitely connected to the murder."

"It might mean Price knew his killer," Gibbs put in.

"Which means I might too," Tony added gravely.

That did not make Ziva feel any better. He could not be put in danger, she refused to allow it.

**NCIS**

Early evening found Abby and McGee in her lab as they continued to re-run all the evidence. She sighed. "It's really sad how Tony and his old partner drifted so far apart."

McGee shrugged. "That kind of stuff happens." He couldn't begin the list the number of people he'd lost touch with over the years, people he'd once thought would always be around and part of his life.

Abby didn't like the answer. "Does that mean it could happen to my Three Musketeers? Because if you say yes McGee I'm going to start crying right now."

It had only been three days since they had their first make-up dinner and set some ground rules for what and how things would happen next. Tim felt like they were right back to square one, taking things very, very slow. Only hanging out once a week for dinner or a movie instead of twice a week for both like before was the main difference, but even with normal interactions they didn't quite have their comfort level back. Getting there, but not yet.

Because of all that McGee didn't think he'd earned the right to hold her yet, and if she cried he wasn't sure he could resist the need to comfort her. He did make the small concession of resting his hands on her arms. "That's not gonna happen to us Abbs. We'll probably still be here chasing bad guys when everyone else is retired. Besides," Tim gave her a small smile, "if you'd seen the way Tony looked at Ziva today, you'd know there's no reason to be concerned about any of us breaking up."

The observation piqued her interest. "Looked at her how?"

But McGee couldn't answer because Gibbs chose that moment to spill forth from the elevator and ask for an update. They had lots of possible suspects, but one he recognized from a crime scene. "Rule 35."

"Always watch the watchers," Abby and McGee recited together, so maybe they were more back in sync than he'd thought. Answers were needed about this case and at least now they had someone to start with.

**NCIS**

The shadows in the corridor made the building seem safer at night, less exposed, which may have given Ziva the courage to push her husband into a corner on their way back from Autopsy and cover his mouth with hers. Tony's startled exclamation of, "Ziva, what-" was cut off by the soft pressure of her lips and the warmth of her hands that came up to cradle his face. It wasn't a long kiss but he felt it to the depth of his being. When she pulled back his brow furrowed. "Honey, this isn't enough cover. How're you going to explain it if someone catches you inappropriately accosting your partner?"

His protest was stopped by a single finger laid across his lips. "I don't care. You are more important."

"Wow." Tony's eyebrows rose and he gave the area a quick scan before claiming her mouth very sweetly again. He sighed against her skin. "Thank you. I needed that."

She nodded, so close he almost felt the movement. But he'd barely touched her for fear of being discovered in a really compromising position. "I know."

The floor seemed quiet for the time being, enough that he risked continuing the moment. "What changed Zi? I thought we decided being partners..."

Ziva edged back from him, though they remained standing toe to toe. "I still feel the same way, that we are keeping the secret to protect our partnership and places on the team, but ahava..." One hand rose to rest against his chest before she thought better of it and her shoulders sagged. "You are my husband. I have sensed all day how badly this situation is affecting you and we have no hope of going home anytime soon." She sighed, glancing surreptitiously towards the bullpen. "Sometimes I am tired of hiding, as I know you are, when we need to be ourselves together for even a few minutes. I just wanted you to know that I will never let the rules get in the way of my responsibility as your wife and my desire to be here for you, whatever you need."

Tony swallowed, having a hard time stopping himself from spinning her around and pressing her against the wall so he could kiss her breathless. Those words, that commitment, meant more than he might ever be able to tell her. Instead he lifted two fingers and brushed them over her cheek. "I love you so much."

Blinking back the sheen of tears along with her longing to fall into his arms, she gave him the glimmer of a smile. "I love you too." The elevator ding broke through their safety net and she reluctantly backed away. "Wait a moment before you follow."

And just like that the game was back in play. But despite the grief he still carried, Tony's heart felt lighter than it had all day. Her love gave him the strength to keep going, just as it did every time things got rough. He'd really have to tell her that someday. For now he'd just be thankful to call her his.

**NCIS**

Shortly thereafter Tony and Ziva were in the backseat for an extremely fast ride to the suspected copycat's apartment. Holding on for dear life to the handle, he muttered, "Ever notice Gibbs never gets pulled over for his crazy driving?"

Just as quietly she replied, "If you were still a police officer, would you want to give Gibbs a ticket?"

The stare alone would do any normal human in. "Good point."

Once they arrived Tony kicked in the door and they found a guy on the floor, plastic wrapping another body. He swore he didn't do anything when faced with four gun barrels pointing at him, then had the stupidity to exclaim, "This is so exciting!"

Tony's gaze narrowed and he pushed the man against a wall. "You have the right to remain silent or I can shut you up myself."

Gibbs put his hand on Tony's shoulder, knowing how riled up he was in this moment. "Take it easy DiNozzo or Miranda won't appreciate the creativity."

"You also have the right to an attorney so he can tell you how you weren't hugged enough as a child," Tony growled.

McGee interrupted with a phrase they never liked to hear, "Guys, we have a problem."

The guy was practicing on a dummy, not an actual dead body. He had clippings about the killings covering a wall in his apartment. He'd been at their crime scene. But something didn't fit.

After they dragged him back to NCIS and into Interrogation 1, Tony presented Peter Sears with all the evidence. "You put together a real cute little Port-to-Port killer magic kit. And then you killed my partner with it."

Peter argued the point. "I told you I didn't kill anybody." He was starting to freak out. "Man, this is intense."

Gibbs and Tony elaborated on not needing a confession, just an answer for how he hacked into the servers. The big mistake was the knot, which wasn't mentioned in the press. So the only way he could've learned about it was from them.

He admitted to buying that stuff and tying practice knots. "But that's all I've done is practice. Maybe I was going to do something. Maybe I was going to get my name on TV too. But you know what? I haven't done it yet. You've got the wrong guy."

Not what they were looking for. Upon their exit from the room Gibbs faced Tony. "You need a break. Go home DiNozzo."

"But Boss, I-"

"No. Go home. We're done for tonight. Start fresh in the morning."

Back in the squadroom Ziva reported that Sears' alibi checked out and McGee said they had a lead on the bakery robbery, but would have to wait for the Ohio police to get back to them with information from a suspect arrested on grand larceny who wanted to cut a deal. Gibbs' eyes rested on all of them, Tony last, and he repeated his words. "Go home. We're back on this first thing."

Instead of arguing this time Tony grabbed his backpack and stalked out. Ziva followed a bit slower and McGee last. He paused beside Gibbs. "We're gonna get him, right Boss?"

"Oh yeah," the team leader affirmed. "We're gonna get him Tim. Get some rest."

"On it," he murmured, wishing he could go downstairs and spend some time with Abby before hitting the hay. But that was another privilege he was doing his best to earn back. Everything worth having took time, Tim didn't want to rush something this important.

**NCIS**

In their four and a half years of marriage they had not faced a personnel casualty like this from Tony's side and Ziva was at a loss for how to help her husband through the grief and turmoil. It was unfair because he always seemed to know what she needed, but when the tables were flipped she struggled to be the same for him. She thought perhaps physical closeness would bring some measure of comfort, but he turned down her offer of a shared shower. "Thanks babe but I think I'll just...hang around out here. Need to decompress."

She nodded and touched his cheek gently, but couldn't help the feeling that she was failing him when he needed her most. Tony wandered through the house, not able to focus on much, but he grasped his guitar like a lifeline and sat sideways on his desk chair as he played, allowing himself to get lost in the sounds and the familiar movement of his fingers as he tried to drown out the stuff that was in his head.

Finished with her shower in record time, Ziva stepped out of the bathroom and heard the instrument. Thinking to give him space for a bit longer, she set to work tidying up the mess they'd made early in the morning while looking for his phone. Then she watched from the office doorway as he strummed, harder and louder than the ballad style of playing he usually did. When the last notes finally died off he glanced up, a haunted, broken look in his eyes. "I need you to be my safe place tonight Ziva. I need-"

His voice broke and she rushed forward to kneel in front of him, moving the guitar aside so she could hold his face in both hands. "I will be whatever you need tesoro, ani mavti'kha." _I promise._ It was a Wednesday night but she hadn't even considered going to Ops for her normal routine. Her husband was far more important.

Tony nodded and took her hand, letting Ziva lead him to their room. She sat on the bed with pillows cushioning her back, and in the reverse of so many other times Tony lay against her chest, his legs stretching out between hers. She wrapped one arm around his chest and let the fingers of her other hand sift gently through his hair, humming softly as she waited for him to collect his thoughts. She would not push him to share, but she would listen to anything he wanted to say.

After a long time he swallowed and intertwined his fingers with hers. "A decade before he was a happily married man, Detective Anthony DiNozzo was just a beat cop dating his high school music teacher Wendy, still flattered that she'd thought enough of him to ask him out once it was no longer an ethics violation." Tony's mind was drawn easily back to those days, recounting for his wife the man he used to be.

"He chewed gum a lot, a habit his partner complained about incessantly, and carried a lot less of the world's woes on his shoulders where his faithful gun holster lived. I used to be a jeans and t-shirt or turtleneck kind of guy, pairing those with zip up hoodies and converse shoes." Ziva wondered if that was more the real him. "Danny, however, dressed in full suits and ties, just like Senior." He gave a mirthless chuckle. "Who was the last person I wanted to emulate. Plus, casual attire made it easier to chase down suspects. Danny told me my looks wouldn't last forever, but in the right clothes I would be unstoppable. At the time I just scoffed at him."

She kissed his temple. "Why did you change?"

Tony shrugged one shoulder. "I had a lot to leave behind when I started at NCIS. Thought maybe I could reinvent myself, be a new me. Because the old one sure as heck didn't make it from Baltimore to DC."

"Why have I never heard about Danny before?"

He cleared his throat. "We parted on really bad terms Zi. Because he was my partner, I didn't do something I should've done. Because I was his partner, he expected me to give him a break. Left a really bad taste in my mouth. I was too disappointed, too...hurt," he admitted, "to ever speak with him again. Now I wish I had. Danny was the first one to know I proposed to Wendy. I had values back then, you know? I wanted to be married despite the example my dad set, because somewhere inside I just knew it could be better than what I grew up seeing."

"So you were not a one-night stand kind of man until Wendy ruined everything you hoped for." Ziva sounded so indignant on his behalf and ready to give his ex-fiancee a piece of her mind. He loved that she wanted to fight for him.

Tony kissed her fingers. "But you brought me back honey, remember that."

She rested her cheek on his head and felt his heart beat under her hand as he lapsed into silence for several moments.

"Danny...Danny and I were good together. We made great partners. We clicked, and I trusted him." Tears started to well in his eyes and he didn't have the strength to force them back. "We were like brothers and...and..." He swiped at his cheeks and leaned his head back on her shoulder. "I am getting so sick of losing people Zi." He tried to take a deep breath but it sounded more like a sob. "Mom, Pacci, Kate, Jenny." Tony held her hand tighter, pulling her arms around him and she gripped his body with all the strength she possessed. "I don't want you to be next. I can't...I can't do that again."

Their tears mingled as they flowed down the cheeks of two people more intimately acquainted with loss than anyone should have to be. Their grief and hurt poured out and the couple fell asleep in that position, wrapped around each other and holding on so that nothing and no one could get between them. Whoever this killer was, they were not going to let him ruin the joy and home they'd finally found.

**NCIS**

**Thursday April 21**

Bright and early the next morning McGee found out that Sears didn't get his information about the knot from an NCIS file, but rather the update EJ issued on the Port-to-Port killer to all law enforcement agencies in the area before she left for Hawaii. The update included Palmer's typo and their not-quite copycat stole a copy of the report while he was doing IT work at a police station.

"Which means," Ziva said slowly, "that our real copycat is someone who had access to that report."

Tony was on the phone but listening to them talk and when he heard Ziva's words something clicked. He'd just figured out the mystery and Danny was right, it had been in front of their faces the whole time, they just hadn't wanted to look. While the team's backs were turned he headed out and a short time later found himself in Danny's house. It was too quiet, too empty, too dark, which he fixed by turning on a light. The lamp illuminated a framed photo of Tony and Danny with their boss and he couldn't believe his partner had kept it so long, especially considering the unresolved issues between them. "Maybe our partnership meant more to you than I thought," he murmured, startled when his phone rang.

McGee was on the other end wanting to know his location and updating him on what the Ohio police had. Unfortunately the guy they arrested had a speeding ticket elsewhere the day Danny was killed, so he wasn't their copycat either. When McGee asked what Tony was doing he said, "Following a hunch," and then hung up. He listened to the voicemail again and thought back to the night he showed up to confront his partner over something he prayed he was wrong about.

_He walked in without bothering to close the door just as Danny was sitting down with his TV dinner. "You born in a barn? It's freezing out, close the door." Tony's mom had used that saying all the time whenever he or his father neglected to shut a door. It was just another thing they had in common, but now he felt like they weren't even a little bit alike._

_Tony shared that the DA thought they had enough to get a murder conviction against Lieutenant Floyd, the Navy guy running a laundering operation._

_Danny looked up. "You came all this way to tell me that?"_

"_Actually, I came all the way here because of what I saw in Floyd's eyes when you got the drop on him, something that I've spent the last two days trying to pretend I didn't see."_

"_And what's that?"_

"_Betrayal," Tony shared, feeling exactly the same way. "Because he knew you." Danny's eyes dropped and right then he knew he was right. "And I'm wondering to myself, how can that be? It didn't make any sense, so I pulled your phone records." Investigating his own partner felt wrong, but not nearly as wrong as realizing he was just as guilty as the guy they arrested. "The two of you...fifteen calls over the last two months. And I know there's plenty of ways to explain that, right? But there's only one reason you never mentioned it."_

"_What's that?"_

"_Because you're a dirty cop Danny."_

"_Tony, come on. You know me."_

"_I thought I did." He drew a shaky breath and stopped Danny's lame attempts to protest the accusation. "Careful. Be very careful. I'm not feeling the love right now."_

_Danny seemed to accept that he had no choice but to tell the truth and admitted to sending potential clients Floyd's direction. If they laundered money through him he got a kickback._

_Tony was so upset he knew he wasn't thinking straight anymore. "So how much did you get to keep your mouth shut on a homicide?"_

"_No, no." Danny stood up. "Tony, I-I had no idea Floyd was our guy. I mean, did he seem like a killer to you? He didn't seem like one to me."_

_His response seemed genuine but Tony was out of favours. "You saw what you wanted to see."_

_Danny let out a breath. "So what are you gonna do?" Tony didn't answer, he just stared at his partner. The other man looked down, then back up. "I lost my appetite." He went into the kitchen and dumped his food in the trash. "So I'm gonna take a walk. I guess if you're still here when I get back, I'll have my answer."_

_Tony didn't know what to do. He hadn't known when the truth came to light, when he opened the front door, or when his partner copped to it all. What was he supposed to do now?_

Gibbs showed up right as Tony got what Danny was trying to tell him, just as he had a decade ago when a young cop didn't know what the right answer was once he found out his partner had crossed a line. "Danny was dirty. I always wondered why the money launderer didn't rat him out, try to cut a deal. I bet Danny wondered the same thing."

"There's only one reason to be afraid of sending a dirty cop to jail."

Tony picked up on the thought. "There's another one you can't. And in our department, that was a pretty short list." He turned back to the picture. "There was a silent partner Danny didn't know about. But he found out after all these years. Better late than never is right. I think he was looking for redemption."

Gibbs smiled. "Let's go give it to him."

Tony picked up the frame and glanced at his boss with a question in his eyes. The older man nodded. "I think he would've wanted you to have that."

Tony took the photo home and was sitting on the couch holding it when Ziva came back from walking Meira. She sank down beside him and he pointed to his friend. "This is Danny. He's the one who taught me the kind of cop I wanted to be...and the kind I didn't. Lotta contradictions in one man, but he was finally going to do the right thing and someone killed him before he could. I've got to get this guy Zi. I've got to do it for Danny."

She leaned into his side. "I will do whatever I can to help ahava. You have my word."

He kissed her head. "Thank you." It wasn't enough, but right now that was all he had to give.

**NCIS**

**Friday April 22**

Tony and Gibbs strode into the police station just as everything was getting started on the morning shift. One of the guys who often came to pool night announced, "Ladies and gentleman, the legend is back. Anthony DiNozzo Jr." It was kind of nice to know that stuff lived on, even ten years later. Tony felt like he left a legacy in that place and wondered what they remembered most about him, what stories they still told - though he knew some of that already because of what the guys insisted on sharing with Ziva the last time they showed up for drinks and a game. He hoped what they came to do was enough of a shock that no one thought to ask about his gorgeous wife. There was no way he could talk his way out of that one with Gibbs standing right beside him.

Major Raimey held out his hand to Gibbs. "Agent Gibbs, right? The man who took my best detective from me."

Gibbs slapped a file in his hand instead - evidence locker logs, which was how he got the tray to make the cookies. The Major earned his stripes busting serial killers, he knew how to make it smell real. Without blinking Tony faced the man who killed his partner. "Danny was right. Lieutenant Floyd wasn't a killer, it was you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Danny figured it out." He got a step closer. "And he was gonna set the record straight, so you killed him."

"Major," Gibbs got his attention, "you knew DiNozzo wasn't gonna let it go."

"So you threw it in my face. Dropped another body on the Port-to-Port pile. Did you think I would just assume it was a serial killer?" Raimey didn't say a thing and Tony's voice lowered while Gibbs took the Major's gun. "Let me ask you something, what do you see when you look in the mirror?"

The man couldn't even make eye contact. "Am I done?"

"Oh yeah, you're done." And it was almost disappointing really. There were no justifications, no apologies, just...the end. The whole thing was so sad and felt unfinished. But that's because it was. A human being had his life cut short and there was nothing anyone could say or do to bring him back.

McGee and Ziva watched Tony bring his former boss in and McGee blew out a breath. "Can you imagine having to arrest Gibbs?"

She wore a pretty blue shirt for her husband today, knowing he liked her in that colour, even though he wasn't in the frame of mind to appreciate it. "I would rather arrest Eli. Which I still might have to do one day." She did, however, hope to never see him again, so it was unlikely she'd be the one slapping on cuffs if he crossed any more lines.

Ducky and Abby came up to congratulate them on catching the copycat killer. "However, we have another problem."

As it turned out, Abby didn't send Ducky the email about the typo in his report.

"Then who was it from?" Ziva inquired.

"Presumably someone who wanted us to know we were chasing a copycat."

"And there's only one person that could've been," Abby piped up.

"The real one," McGee surmised.

Gibbs wanted proof so they all headed to the back elevator while Tony stood in the hall and thought back to the first time he walked into NCIS two months after the case was over. He'd been in pretty bad shape until the older agent demanded he show up in DC. Starting down that path had given him a new purpose and, though he would never have thought it at the time, led to him finding his soulmate. Best decision ever. The orange walls had really stood out. He admitted to Gibbs that he wasn't going to turn Danny in, but neither could he go back to Baltimore. He'd been out of confidence then, not sure being a cop was for him. Which was when Gibbs delivered his first headslap and quoted the first of many rules that Anthony DiNozzo Jr. would learn in that building. Gibbs walked him right to Human Resources and what he'd told the others so long ago was true. He opened the door, saw the pretty girl sitting at her desk, and flashed the famous, thousand watt DiNozzo grin. The rest, as they say, was history.

**NCIS**

Recalling how her husband had come to her for comfort after other traumatic events, when Ziva sat down beside him on the couch after work her intention was to use intimacy to, not help him forget, but at least take his mind off current events for a little while. She started with a kiss that he returned, then slid her hand down his chest, teasing buttons out of their holes. But instead of wrapping his arms around her and taking the lead, Tony sighed and gently moved her away, laying his head back on the cushion. "Not right now honey." A bit deflated because that was her first thought for how to soothe some of his guilt and anger, Ziva settled against him and waited to hear if he would share what was on his mind.

His thumb rubbed over her hand as he stared at the ceiling. "I just wanted Raimey to be sorry for what he did, you know? But he didn't say anything, not one word. No excuse or justifications. He killed Danny for wanting to tell the truth, and it sucks. Because I never saw corruption in him and...he was my boss Zi. I looked up to the man. I trusted him. I just feel so...betrayed. And I'm angry. And I can't do anything about either of those because he's already going to prison and Danny'll still be dead. There's nothing to make this right."

Ziva wanted to commiserate, so remind him that she knew both of those emotions well since they related to her dealings with her father. But it was not about her tonight. Instead she lay her had on his shoulder and held onto her husband for a long time. His thoughts were clearly mired in the muck of the now solved case and that wouldn't do, so eventually she got up and put on a Bond film, then brought a freshly made bowl of popcorn from the kitchen. Ziva knew he wasn't hungry but he did pick at a piece here and there and when he finally left for a shower she felt slightly better about his state of mind.

By the time they were in bed she'd gathered her courage to try again and see if making love would ease some of the burden on his soul. Rolling closer, she pressed herself into his side and left a trail of tiny kisses up his back and neck. But far from reciprocating, Tony propped himself up on one elbow and glared. "Ziva - stop it. I already told you, I'm not in the mood."

Startled by his reaction, she tried to explain. "Tony, I-"

He cut her off and stared hard at her. "You're the one always deciding we need to take a break from sex. Now it's my turn." Ziva's stricken look almost made him want to take it back. Instead he got out of bed and grabbed his pillow. "I'm going to go sleep on the couch."

Without another word he stalked out, not looking back to see the few tears slipping from her eyes. For a moment she could barely breathe, then she closed her eyes and counted to ten, taking a deep breath at the end. He wasn't wrong and that truth encouraged her to at least try and be understanding of his position. It was a valid point, and something she needed to think about for awhile before they talked.

Half an hour passed and Ziva could hear Tony tossing and turning on the couch, punching his pillow and making frustrated sounds. Finally she pushed back the covers and went out, kneeling beside him. "You are right," she said softly. "It has always been my decision and I am sorry to have had to ask that of you so many times." Ziva smoothed back his hair. "I would like very much for you to come back and sleep beside me." Her eyes twinkled softly in the dim light. "I promise to keep my hands to myself."

Tony sighed and closed his eyes. "That was kind of a juvenile move, wasn't it?"

"No," she refuted. "It was justified. You have always accommodated when I needed space and time, I will do the same for you." She risked lightly kissing his cheek. "I love you Tony. That means all the time just as you do me, even when things are a mess. I was only trying to help in some way, but I should've respected what you said the first time." Ziva could see how it looked to him, that she was coming onto him because it was something she wanted, not knowing she was doing it for him.

He swallowed. "I wasn't thinking that way. And I appreciate the effort Zi, really. But I feel like you did at the hotel in Philadelphia - I'm just too depressed to even think about sex right now."

She pressed a gentle kiss to his temple. "When you are ready ahava." Then Ziva stood and offered her hand. "Please?"

Tony got up and followed her back to their room. She'd thought he might prefer some extra space tonight and got in on her side, but moments later his arms came around her waist and he curled his body around hers, sighing into her hair. "Much better than a teddy bear."

Ziva chuckled. "That is why we have a deal." She glanced over her shoulder and barely brushed her lips against his. "Someone who loves you is always better."

He mumbled a return of the sentiment onto her shoulder and she laced her fingers with his. Whatever she could do to support him through this, she would. He had been her strength so many times, now it was her turn.

**NCIS**

**Saturday April 23**

For the longest time the next morning Ziva lay beside her husband, touching him ever so gently and studying his expression and the lines of his body. At least when resting he looked peaceful, but she knew from experience that as soon as he opened his eyes she would see again the weight he carried from losing Danny. It was likely he would continue to bear that burden for some time. At last she got up and took the house phone from its base on the kitchen counter, dialing her aunt's number and waiting for her to pick up.

"Shalom motek," Nettie's cheerful voice greeted. "Is it a beautiful morning on your side of the world?"

Ziva glanced out the window. "The sun is shining outside Doda, but it is very dark in our room today."

Nettie's brow furrowed as she deciphered the layers of her niece's statement. "Is there trouble between you and Anthony Zivaleh?"

She shook her head. "Not really between us." A sigh pushed out of her lungs. "Tony's partner from his last posting as a police officer was killed this week. We thought he was another victim of the serial killer we have been hunting, but the murderer turned out to be their old boss from the precinct. He was a dirty cop. My husband is...not handling it very well."

"Oy vey," Nettie muttered. "What makes people do such things to each other? Why must hatred always be acted out in taking the life of another? I did not understand it as a child and I can make no sense of it now."

"The loss of a life to violence is always senseless," Ziva agreed in monotone, thinking of her sister and so many others.

"Was Anthony still close to his partner? Did they keep in touch after he came to NCIS?"

"No. The events of their final case together put them at odds. They had not spoken in ten years and he lost his phone for a day, missing the last chance he had to speak with Danny. All that is left now is a voicemail. And a picture of them from when they were partners."

Nettie found a place to sit. "I remember when a voicemail and pictures were all he had left of you," she said quietly. "Perhaps it is more than one loss that is weighing him down."

"Tony is such a good man Doda." Tears cloaked her voice and she swallowed them back. "I wish he did not have another sorrow to bear. And I do not know how to be of use to him during this time."

"Love him little bird. Love him as fiercely as you always have. That will be his solace when there is nothing else."

Ziva hoped her aunt was right. She did not want the shadow to endure so long that her husband would lose all sight of the joys in his life. It was her responsibility to make sure he eventually found the sunlight again.

**NCIS**

The group dinner took place a week earlier this month and Ziva had never been so grateful for the timing. There was nothing like being around his frat brothers, the girls, and the children to get Tony out of the dark place in his head that he'd been dwelling in too often lately. She'd taken the initiative to contact Mark and ask him to pass on to the others what had taken place with Tony's old partner. Mark remembered the fallout with Danny and Wendy leaving and how Tony wallowed in misery and was drinking pretty heavily until Gibbs pulled him out and brought him to NCIS. Jordan and Darien had also been living in DC at that time and they'd tried their best to help, but he pretty much rebuffed all their attempts and after awhile they let him. He still regretted that they'd let go so easily. They'd learned a lot as a group in the intervening decade as more of the frat brothers ended up in the city. None of them would allow something like that to happen now. For that Mark was very grateful.

And though get-togethers had always been held at Mark and Cassie's before this one, today was Adrian and Emma's first turn to host. The kids, of course, were thrilled and immediately dragged their parents and all other aunts and uncles downstairs to show off the basement created just for them. The dogs took off around the room, sniffing and checking out everything since this was their first visit as well. At first sight Mark's eyebrows rose and he whistled. "Wow. It's no wonder the amigos haven't stopped raving about this place in the last month and a half. This is a kid's paradise." He squeezed Adrian's shoulder. "Guess that childlike personality served you well for the endeavor, huh Zip?"

Adrian grinned. "You're just jealous because we are now the kids' favourite people."

Mark started to refute that but then shrugged and gave up. "Point to the Platz's. The novelty's not going to wear off for awhile."

Those adults with kids had already advised them that Uncle Tony needed some cheering up today, so the first thing Alec did was challenge him to an air hockey game, with Adrian claiming the next turn. Cody kept jumping up and putting his paws on the table so he could see what was going on until Brent called him off. Then McKenna showed off the reading nook that Meira had also claimed and asked him to push her on the swing. Ryan wanted to see if Tony could do the monkey bars faster than him and once they'd showed off their space to the whole group, they asked for Uncle Tony's input on a movie and all three of them snuggled with him on the floor and bean bag chairs to at least start one before dinner. Cody and Meira finally approved of the entire place and plopped down beside their favourite small humans so as not to be left out of anything.

Ziva was smiling softly watching the scene when Cassie came up to him. "No better medicine than those three, huh?"

"They are exactly what he needed today." Her expression was wistful and Cassie picked up on it.

"You can tell me if this is not my place Ziva and I won't mention it again, but you seem much more at peace with the kids now than you were last year. Has something changed?"

She appreciated Cassie's tact, the gentle way she approached the subject, and debated about how much to share. "I spoke with my doctor a few months after the last time you and I talked about children. There may be...options for Tony and I." Cassie's eyes filled with hope and Ziva shook her head. "That was his reaction as well. But Cassie please keep this to yourself and please do not get excited yet. I am much more practical than my husband, I am aware how likely any attempts are to fail. He cannot see any of that, only what could be. We are saving right now and it will be a long time yet before we have enough, but though my heart is not in it and I am afraid to hope, I will do this for Tony, because I love him more than what I fear."

"You have come so far," Cassie said quietly. "I'm really proud of you Ziva."

"Thank you."

Emma tore herself away from a conversation with CJ and announced, "I'm going up to put dinner on the table. Volunteers get first dibs at dessert."

There was a mad rush for the stairs as they all clamoured to be on the volunteer list. Darien had baked tonight's treats and they all wanted first dibs. Ziva took charge of the pets, leading them into the livingroom where a special mat held their bowls of a different food than what the people were eating, and gave them both a generous rub before softly commanding them to stay. McKenna grabbed Ziva's arm when she came back and begged her aunt to sit next to her at the table. Similarly Ryan and Alec claimed the chair between them for Tony. It was one of the only times the couple hadn't been placed next to each other at a dinner, but for the delight on their niece and nephews' faces it was worth the sacrifice.

Cassie was unused to having the night off from the responsibility of the meal and had compensated by providing mouth watering gravy and enough mashed potatoes for an army - done in her signature silky smooth and delicious style. The group had banned her from making a casserole since she was supposed to be taking a break and it was harder than she thought not to be the one taking charge. Mark, her ever attentive husband, was aware of her struggle to let Adrian and Emma do their thing without her assistance and did his best to keep her distracted.

The theme of the evening was to take Tony's mind off the past few days and each member of the group worked hard to make that happen. Adrian told a story about the three young brothers he'd attempted a photoshoot with earlier, who had done everything from throwing props at each other to wrestling and almost falling off the three foot high platform where they were sitting. "The only thing they wouldn't do was sit still and smile!" he concluded in exasperation. "As soon as I got one or two of them settled the other one would pull hair or poke them and it would start all over again. I got about fifteen shots but I don't think their parents are going to find one good enough to frame."

Tony chuckled. "I though you were the child whisperer Zip."

"Next time I'm hiring you for backup," Adrian declared.

"What about me?" Darien demanded. "I thought we were a team."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Wasn't sure your laid back, schedule free, retired lifestlye would've kept you in good enough shape to muscle munchkins into line."

Darien's gaze narrowed and he pretended to shove the other man off his chair. "Keep it up Zippy and see if I share any of my desserts with you." Since both raspberry strudel squares and recess treats (mostly for the kids but Adrian always did consider himself one of them) were on the menu, he reluctantly conceded the point.

Mark looked up from his plate. "Do I have to separate you two?" He was finding it a little odd not to be at the head of the table and realized that maybe he and Cassie had gotten too used to their roles as group leaders. Being taken down a peg and doing something different now and again wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Adrian tipped his head to the side. "I'm not sure if you have jurisdiction here Papa Smurf. This is my turf."

"Rhyming Adrian, really?" Jordan groaned. "Okay, who let him watch _The Princess Bride_?" He stared suspiciously at Cassie. "Smurfette, we warned you about that."

She went for innocent. "Why do you always assume it was me? Tony owns the movie too."

Tony held up his hands in protest. "Zi, tell them I didn't do it!"

Ziva smirked. "I have no knowledge of what you do when I am at the gym. Anything could have taken place in my absence."

He shot her a dirty look. "Thanks a lot. What happened to having my back?"

She waved her hand at the group. "You need to be defended from them?"

"Yes!" he insisted, turning to Adrian. "You owe me Zip. Confess this instant."

Adrian shrugged. "I found it on YouTube. It was even better than a Rubix cube."

"Someone please make him stop," Brent begged. "He can go on like this for days."

"You'll all be amazed!" Adrian continued.

"Enough!" Tony balled up his napkin and threw it at his friend, missing him by a foot.

"Tony," Emma said in a tone usually reserved for parents. "We're trying to be a good example to the children. Please don't throw things."

She said it with a straight face but they all burst out laughing and Mark grinned. "D, you just got told."

He had the grace to look a bit sheepish. "Sorry Flicka. Won't happen again."

"This is exactly why I vetoed my husband's idea of a ball pit. You guys would find way too many uses for the balls."

Jordan snorted. "Do you guys remember that time-"

"The one where we-" Brent picked up.

"And then the guard-" Darien continued.

"Oh man, that was so epic!" Adrian finished, though they hadn't really said anything useful to the rest of the group.

"Sounds like quite the story," CJ commented. "Anybody care to share?"

With multiple interruptions from each other the guys attempted to relay the memory that had been brought back and by the end they were laughing so hard they could barely get the words out. McKenna stared at them with a confused expression. "Grownups are so silly sometimes."

That comment set them off again and the guys barely calmed down enough to finish their food and start on dessert. Ziva sat quietly and soaked it all in, so incredibly thankful for how much they all cared for each other and what they were doing to make Tony's day a little bit brighter. It seemed she'd also done that without even being aware, because later when they were walking out to their car at the end of the night he laced his fingers with hers and whispered in her ear, "Reason #929 - I love you for the way you are with Meira and the kids. It's my beautiful glimpse of what will be when our child is the one you hold in your arms and smile at with pride. Thank you so much for hoping with me Ziva. You have no idea what that means."

She stopped and cupped his face in her hands. "I think I do," she responded gently, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. She might not have his optimism about their chance for children, but she so loved his determination. It was just one more reason Ziva was so glad she'd married this wonderful man.


	55. 8x23 Swan Song 1

**Sunday April 24**

"Have your husbands been acting weird lately?" Emma inquired of the other girls as they hung out over conference call while their guys were bonding at a frat brothers only basketball practice. The wives had decided that if they were having girl's nights out their boys needed time alone too. So on the rare occasion they stayed home from basketball all five of them patched into the same call and chatted while folding laundry, doing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, working on craft projects or, in Ziva's case, cleaning her weapons.

Allie laughed lightly. "I thought you'd be used to Adrian's quirks after nine months of marriage."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm used to his regular quirks, but this is odd even for him."

"Care to elaborate?" Cassie asked as she set another plate in the drying rack.

"He's been dropping pick up lines into our conversations. At first I thought it was just a one or two-time thing, but it's been going on for the last month! And, I mean, it's stuff I haven't heard since college. Don't you think that's a little strange?"

"Pick up lines?" Allie echoed. "Cass?" They'd actually had this conversation recently.

"Yeah, Mark too."

"And Tony," Ziva put in, sliding the pieces of her gun back into place.

"Okay, that just sounds dangerous," CJ put in. "And to weigh in on the vote, Brent's been doing it too."

"Oh my gosh." Cassie shook her head. "I can't believe we didn't catch it sooner."

"What?" the other girls asked almost in unison.

"It's a challenge. They used to do this all the time when we were in school. One of them would suggest something, the others would take it up because none of them ever back down from a dare, some frat brother initiation rule or some such nonsense, and then they'd bet on it. Winner got a prize worth fighting for and off they'd go. I can't tell you how many times I watched this play out. And now they're doing it to us."

Ziva chuckled. "Kind of like when they wanted to stage a kissing competition?"

"I remember that," Cassie put in. "Girls, we need to meet this head on."

"Oh?" CJ asked, always a little wary when the group leader's wife had an idea. "How so?"

She smirked. "Turn it back on them, of course. Starting as soon as they get home today. We have to the end of the week to throw them off their game because I guarantee this is going to come to a head at our group date night. I wondered why Mark was so insistent we schedule it for the end of the month and do the dinner a week early. Their deadline is the final day of April."

Already thinking of lines she could use on her husband, Ziva grinned. "They will not know what slapped them."

A few of the girls couldn't hold back their giggles and Emma ventured the correction. "They won't know what hit them Ziva." She laughed. "Slapped just seems a little more violent for some reason."

"It's our turn to have some fun with this ladies," Cassie declared. "Let the games begin."

**NCIS**

**Tuesday April 26**

Dedicated as she was about her contribution to the household finances, it was very rare for Cassie to take a day off from teaching. She had, however, conceded on this the anniversary of her birth. Having taken extra PT sessions prior to visiting Kevin, the money Mark needed for her special birthday gift had been available when he picked it up at the jeweler's yesterday and he'd been itching to give it to her since the moment his fingers closed over the white box.

Wanting more time with her and not willing to wait for their Friday date night to do so, Mark had shuffled regularly scheduled clients and managed to make it home just after noon. He walked in the door and immediately had to smile. The frosted French doors to her music room stood half-open and through them floated the haunting strains of Cassie's violin. Edging closer, he watched as she drew the bow across the strings, her fingers finding the correct places on them from memory, eyes closed as her body swayed in time to the music. Mark never tired of the feeling Cassie put into her music - though it was always apparent when she skated that her heart was truly in that sport while music was merely something she enjoyed rather than had a passion for.

When she set the instrument back in its case he knocked on the door, wincing when she jumped. "Delivery for Mrs. Reece."

Cassie's expression lit up at his unexpected appearance and she crossed the room to join him. "Is it you?"

Mark chuckled, pleased she considered his presence a gift. "Nope." A bouquet of flowers was displayed with a flourish from behind his back. "These however..."

"They're beautiful," Cassie beamed, kissing his cheek. "Thank you."

He slid his arms around her waist. "I love listening to you play."

She tilted her head. "You were spying on me."

"One of my favourite pastimes."

Her gaze strayed to the clock. "Did one of your people cancel? I don't usually get to see you midday on Tuesday."

Mark tucked a curl behind her ear. "I shifted things around. I'm yours for the rest of the day."

"Really?" Cassie's blue eyes sparkled. "That's a pretty good present."

"Oh, I have a better one." He took the flowers from her and they sat down on the piano bench. "When I told you about taking in-home PT to pay for my trip to visit Kevin, I left something out." Her brow furrowed and he smoothed it with his thumb. "The other reason I picked up the extra sessions was to get this made." Mark set the small box in her palm. "I saw something similar awhile back and it seemed perfect for you. I probably should've held onto it until Mother's Day but I can't wait that long."

She cracked it open and her lips parted. "Oh Mark, it's gorgeous." One finger ran delicately over the interwoven ropes of gold that went all the way around the middle of the band creating an unbroken circle of infinity symbols. Inside the ones facing up were four birthstones, one for each member of their family. On the outsides of the ring were two thin borders of diamonds. The effect was absolutely dazzling.

When his wife was done admiring it he pulled the jewellery from the box and took her hand. "I had it made to fit your right ring finger." He slid it on and Cassie couldn't contain the smile that burst forth.

She leaned in to kiss him. "You are the most thoughtful man. Thank you so much." Touching the stones again, she was surprised when the whole middle section moved. Her gaze darted to Mark's and he just grinned.

"It's called a spinner ring. Gives you something to fiddle with that doesn't include taking off your wedding rings and playing with them. Reduces the possibility of losing important items."

Cassie's gaze narrowed. "I've never lost them." Technically. But one might've fallen out of her grasp and landed a few rows down at a play they were watching. There was also that one time on the plane... She cut him off before he could mention those. "Well, I always got them back."

His hand cupped the back of her neck and he claimed her lips again. "I love you."

Her eyes twinkled. "That'll do." After a couple more minutes sitting with him she suddenly remembered the flowers. "I better get these in some water."

Mark trailed her into the kitchen. "Any chance I can entice you into taking a walk with me since it's so nice out?"

Cassie glanced over her shoulder. "Do I get ice cream?"

"You'll get a treat of some form. Maybe we'll try something not ice cream today."

That was usually her go to dessert, so he had a point. "Fair enough."

They wandered out of their neighbourhood and kept going for several blocks until he led her into a smoothie bar she and Allie sometimes came to. After they got home the couple spent some pre-celebration time in the privacy of their bedroom, then Mark sent her to the rink for an hour of skating while he and the kids cooked dinner. Later that night the whole family went over to Matthew and Claire's for dessert - Claire had taken great pains to make her step-daughter's favourite, angel food cake with fresh strawberries. Almost two months after she'd started piano lessons Claire's skills were improving, but even more important was the relationship forming between she and Cassie. That was the biggest gift for both Matthew and Mark. For a decade and a half something had been missing but now their family truly was complete.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday April 27**

Tony was sitting in the livingroom chair playing his guitar when she got home from Ops. With his back to the door he didn't notice her entrance, so she got to just stand there and listen for a long time with a fond smile playing over her lips before making her presences known when he finally stopped. She walked up behind him and sat on the arm of the couch, leaning forward to hug him. "That was beautiful."

He jumped at her touch and glanced over his shoulder. "Oh hi, you're back." Tony chuckled a bit nervously, fiddling with the instrument. "Uh, glad you like it. It's...well, it's actually for you. I just...haven't figured out how to finish it yet."

Ziva pressed a soft kiss behind his ear and one to his neck, then she asked in a whisper, "Will you play it for me again? You have such a good voice and I forget, because I do not often hear you sing for pleasure."

The compliment flustered him. "Yeah, okay, sure."

This time she listened practically melded to his side, one hand on his back as he strummed. Tony played and sang and in every part she heard his heart and how much he loved her. It awing and humbling for their story to be put to music that way and became an incredibly special moment for husband and wife, something Ziva had to share later in her journal to make sure she would never forget.

**NCIS**

**Thursday April 28**

After leaving the house of a family member they were interviewing, Ziva waited until they were by the car to wrap her arms around Tony's neck, glad for the freedom of no one watching. "How about you guess which piece of clothing I didn't wear to work today?"

Tony knew she was teasing him and grinned, pulling back enough to look her up and down. "Sock?" he chose first, going with innocuous rather than jumping right to the fun stuff. She shook her head. "Well, you're wearing pants, so that can't be it. And also eliminates underwear." He tried to put his hands on her to further the investigation but Ziva shook her head.

"You can look, but no touching...yet."

The 'yet' was enough to plaster a lecherous expression on her husband's face. His gaze slowly rose from belt buckle to chin, eyes narrowing at her shoulder. "I see straps under that shirt." Though long sleeved, it was thin and light celebrating the return of spring-like weather following a too cold for her liking winter. "So I'm kinda running out of options here babe."

Ziva smirked and moved away from his reach. "Too bad. I guess you will just have to wait until later to find out." Although it had been six days since the beginning of their break from intimacy, her purpose with this game was more to cheer her husband up rather than goad him into changing his mind. It was, however, fun to try.

He stared after her and shook his head. It was impossible to guess what his wife would come up with next, but not knowing was half the fun.

Later Tony saw her adjusting her shirt and caught a glimpse of the straps underneath again. He immediately realized they were too thin for a bra and therefore must belong to a tank top. The truth hit him like a lightning bolt and he almost had to clap a hand over his mouth to stop himself from blurting out that she was braless, aghast at her boldness even as he appreciated that she did it for him.

Ziva could feel the heat of his stare and chuckled quietly. Like she could read his mind she sent a text,_ I noticed that earlier, but on your phone they're bars_, in reference to their day spent trapped in a shipping container before the night of his surprise party when they became friends.

She signed the text _xxxo_ \- always with more kisses than hugs and Tony began thinking that he'd have to take her somewhere soon and cash in on those kisses. The little bit of making out they did in the shower this morning after they both went for a run with Meira had not been nearly enough to satisfy him. He decided right then and there that they were going out for dinner tonight. He still wasn't sure if he was ready to jump back into their regularly scheduled bedroom activities yet, so the less time they spent alone at home the better.

**NCIS**

Hours after they'd been let out of work for the night, Tony and Ziva were walking home from dinner holding hands. The restaurant chosen was further than the diner, their usual go-to place, but Tony had reasoned that taking more time walking to and from the restaurant wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It left them with less private alone time and gave him a chance to really savour the innocent intimacy of holding his wife's hand.

They headed down the second alley they came to, which was a shortcut to the street before their neighbourhood, and suddenly a guy stepped out of the shadows, grabbed Ziva, and stood in front of Tony with a gun to her head. The whole thing happened so fast he barely had time to react until he heard the demand. "Purse and wallet man, come on!" he shouted, sweating and jumpy and clearly high off something. "Purse and wallet or I hurt the lady."

Tony, moving into agent mode, could see his wife was ready to unleash her inner Mossad assassin on the unsuspecting thief and shook his head subtly. "Easy," he said for her benefit, reaching slowly into his inside coat pocket for his wallet. "You want it, you can have it buddy." He tossed the leather holder to the guy and in the instant he was distracted trying to catch it, Ziva did the SING thing that reminded him of _Miss Congeniality_ and dropped him like a rock.

When the guy was unconscious on ground, Ziva made a face at her husband. "You ruined all my fun."

Tony hugged her tightly. "I was more worried about you not getting dead." He breathed a sigh of relief that she was okay. Together they just stood there looking at their would-be mugger and Tony shook his head. "We can't report this."

She frowned at the out of character declaration. "Why not?"

"Because they'd have to take our statements and it would go on a record somewhere. And someone is going to wonder what we're doing together this late at night in an alley." His eyebrows rose. "Unless you've changed your mind about the secret?"

Ziva chewed on her lip. "Not yet." Especially considering Gibbs' reaction to just a hypothetical situation with Tony and EJ. She crossed her arms and glanced towards the street. "What about an anonymous tip?"

That had promise and he nodded. "Okay."

The couple crouched down and made certain the suspect was contained before phoning in a tip at a nearby payphone, where Ziva used a foreign accent to further confuse identification, then they made their way home. The cops arrived five minutes later to find the bad guy hogtied with his own belt and shoe laces. A note paperclipped to his shirt read -_ It's not nice to take things that don't belong to you_. _Maybe it's time to try a new line of work_. They pushed their hats back a bit and shook their heads.

"Well," one officer commented, "that's a new one."

It gave them a chuckle while they untied the guy and wondered out loud who their Good Samaritans were.

Meanwhile at the DiNozzo household Tony was busy kissing his wife breathless. She pulled back with half-closed eyes and ventured, "What about-"

He stopped her. "Yeah, I think I'm done needing a break and this seems like the perfect time for I'm-glad-we're-alive sex." One eyebrow arched. "Any complaints?"

She placed a searing kiss on his lips. "Not in the least." Mischief sparkled in her eyes. "Why don't you make me the happiest woman on earth tonight?"

Tony's mouth dropped open at the blatant plagiarism of a pick up line that was supposed to come from the guy, and Ziva used his distraction to her advantage. The next thing he knew her lips were on his and only thought, in his head and not at all serious was, _Wow, we should totally have life-threatening moments more often if this is what happens after._ Then he stopped thinking about anything that did not involve taking his wife to bed for an activity much more fun than sleeping.

**NCIS**

**Friday April 29**

McGee was watching the news the next morning when they walked in, for once at the same time, and looked back when he heard the ding of the elevator. "Hey guys, come check this out." He turned up the TV volume where a reporter was talking about a couple Good Samaritans who reported being mugged and then practically gift-wrapped the perpetrator for cops but were gone when they arrived on scene. He shook his head and chuckled. "Can you believe that? It would be so much easier if all our cases got solved like this one."

Tony and Ziva purposefully avoided eye contact with each other and did their best not to smile or comment. Instead Ziva delivered the coffee cups they'd picked up for the others to Gibbs' and McGee's desks and distracted him with a video game question and the day proceeded normally. The end, however, was far from usual. Ziva kissed her husband goodbye in the parking lot and he stared forlornly after her. "You sure about this? It could just be an evening, right? The overnight part isn't mandatory?"

She gave him a look. "Do you know what Cassie will do to you if you crash Girl's Night again?"

He sighed heavily. "Yes, and it isn't worth the punishment. But seriously Zi, a whole night?"

"I believe that is how sleepovers are most often conducted. And there is always tomorrow to look forward to."

That thought brightened him up a bit. Tomorrow and their first ever group date at a fancy restaurant. It had the potential to be pretty awesome, the only drawback was that husbands were banned from girl's night so all the guys were crashing at Brent's and it would be almost a full twenty-four hours before they saw their wives again. Tony shoved his hands in his pockets. "Can't I at least get an extra kiss to tide me over?"

Ziva rolled her eyes at his pathetic plea but returned to her spot in front of him and drew him down so their lips met. It was a rather involved kiss and by the time he recovered she was already in her car, leaving him alone and lonely for the day to come. He drove home and entered listlessly, took Meira for a rather lackluster walk, and wandered aimlessly around the house, completely at loose ends without his other half.

On his second circuit of the room her sketchbook on the end table caught his eye and he began flipping through it. One of the most recent was a drawing of them dancing and he whistled, appreciating her attention to detail. It was nearly as close to real as one of Adrian's photographs and he sincerely hoped to see this moment duplicated tomorrow. They'd purposely chosen a restaurant that had a live band and dancing as part of its charm. Then, because she'd left him unsupervised, Tony finally took a peek of his portrait, the one she'd done the first night he'd given her the book.

His first thought, after acknowledging to himself that his wife the ninja was somehow going to know he'd peeked and possibly get him in trouble, was that it reminded him so much of the way Kate had captured him. After Ziva found Kate's drawings in her desk, Gibbs had held onto them for quite awhile before parceling out to the team those Kate had done of each one. Tony kept his in the back of a Natural Geographic magazine, grateful for the lone keepsake from his friend. But Ziva had a similar way of seeing him as he affected a laid back posture on the couch while watching a movie. She said she got to know him better from drawing him, but Tony had a feeling she'd always known him so well. Regardless, he still counted it an honour that the first thing she'd wanted to draw after years away from art had been him.

At that point he was done brooding and grabbed the stuff he needed to spend the night at Brent's. He loved his frat brothers and it was bound to be a fun night with all of them in the same room, but Tony knew he'd be counting hours until they got their wives back. He never felt quite like himself when she wasn't around.

**NCIS**

**Saturday April 30**

The night before had been fun - romantic movies, facials, and mani/pedis - and late, so the girls took advantage of their husband and kid-less states to sleep in the next morning. Then they got up and went out for brunch. "It's so nice not to have to cook for once," Cassie exclaimed. "Not that Mark never does, but just knowing I don't have to make sure my kids are fed is kind of freeing."

CJ chuckled. "I know what you mean. Brent and Ryan love to do the cooking for supper, but breakfast is mine unless he beats me to it. I forgot what it was like to have a morning of no responsibilities."

"Tony considers it a huge victory when I sleep in past eight in the morning," Ziva confided. "The work I did before NCIS required a 0500 start and he has been years breaking me of that habit."

"Oh, I'm sure he could be quite convincing if he wanted to be," Allie replied, winking at her friend.

"Saturday mornings for Adrian means cereal and cartoons. That part I actually miss," Emma shared.

The others understood. It was a rare thing for all of them to wake up without their husbands in reach. Regardless, they finished their meal and then the name of the game was shopping. They started at second-hand boutiques and moved up from there, trying on scads of outfits to the delight of Cassie's inner fashion show host, and spent hours giggling and admiring, always looking for the one dress that would make their husband's jaw drop. "After all, our goal is to leave them speechless when they pick us up for dinner, right? From newlyweds to the longer married we have to outdo ourselves this time."

Cassie's rules were strictly adhered to and they all traipsed back to her house with something special in tow designed to wow their significant others. They took turns showering and dressing and doing each other's hair and make up and by the time the bell rang at exactly five pm on the dot, they were ready and sincerely hoping the hard work would be worth it. All five of them gathered in front of the door and swung it open to reveal their men, dressed to the nines in their best suits and ties. The women grinned at the formal appearances while the guys worked very hard not to stare like love-struck college kids. They weren't very successful.

Tony found his voice first. "Uh...wow. That was totally worth having to listen to Mark snore last night."

Mark shoved him. "For the last time, I do not snore."

Adrian grinned. "He was your roommate Red, let's have the whole story."

Darien rolled his eyes. "I'm just here to babysit. Where are my charges?"

"Grandparents should be dropping them off in about ten minutes," Cassie answered. "So if you gentlemen are done bickering, we were kind of hoping for escorts."

The guys all crowded close to the door but Mark muscled his way to the front. "Oh, we're definitely done. But for you ladies...the evening has just begun." He flashed his brightest smile and offered Cassie his arm. "M'lady."

"That's my line," Tony grumbled to his wife's amusement.

They followed what seemed like a specific order, with Jordan next, then Tony and Adrian and Brent all proudly walking their wives to the first surprise - a waiting limo. There were gasps and delighted smiles and shining eyes all around so it was already worth what it cost them to rent it for an evening. Emma's eyebrows arched. "Wow. When you guys plan a date, you go all out."

"So do you," her husband murmured into her neck. "I am going to be the envy of every man in the room with you on my arm."

She was too busy feeling special to wonder if he'd snuck another pick up line in before his time was up.

Jordan and Allie waited while Mark and Cassie got settled inside, and he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. "There is not a word in existence for how good you look right now."

Allie blushed but leaned close to whisper, "Statistically speaking, the most effective pick up line of all time is 'I love you'."

His mouth fell open and he was at a loss for words. The only thing registering in his mind was_, Oh crap! They're onto us. _But then it was his turn to get in and he didn't have a way to warn the other guys. Jordan had a feeling they were headed for a very interesting evening indeed.

The five couples walked into the restaurant like royalty and were shown to a large table in the corner and not too far away from the dance floor. They took their time perusing menus and discussing among themselves what the best options were. Cassie, of course, asked for a dessert menu before she'd even look at the dinner one and the girls all decided that was a fantastic way to start the meal. A little reluctantly they shared a few bites of the confections with their husbands while waiting for main courses to arrive.

It was a really fun, laughter-filled time and they got to thinking this was another thing worthy of becoming a group tradition at least once a year. When the eating part was winding down a couple of the girls excused themselves to the restroom and when Cassie returned she stood by her husband and pointed at his lap. "Excuse me, is this seat taken?"

Jaw dropping, Mark looked helplessly between his wife and friends, wearing a chagrined expression. "Oh man, busted."

Cassie settled herself on his lap and put her arms around his neck. "Yes, you most certainly are."

He swallowed. "Does that, uh, mean there will be consequences?" He had no doubt that if all the wives teamed up together he and the guys could be in for a very uncomfortable couple of weeks.

She laughed and shook her head, leaning in to claim his lips briefly. "No. We just wanted to have a little fun with it once we figured out what was going on."

Allie scanned all the guys' faces. "So, who won the bet?"

The husbands felt as if they were treading on dangerous ground and Jordan cleared his throat, shrugging one shoulder. "We were enjoying ourselves too much to keep score. Decided to call it a draw."

"Right answer," CJ murmured and Brent coughed to cover his reaction. Yeah, some of the responses to their pick up lines were things that shouldn't be shared with the group. They were trying to keep it G rated, being out in public and all.

The orchestra struck up a new song and Adrian saw it as a way to work themselves out of what might be a hole if they kept digging. He stood and offered his hand to Emma. "May I have this dance?"

She smiled and accepted and soon the others were all leading their girls out onto the floor. Being held close and swaying gently to the beautiful music made it impossible for the wives not to feel incredibly cherished by the effort their husbands put into this night. It was a fabulous way to conclude their time out, but if the deep looks the couples were giving each other could be interpreted, the night was far from over yet.

Tony, holding his wife's hand over his heart while they moved in slow circles around the space, happened to look over and catch another guy staring at Ziva. His gaze narrowed and he muttered, "Keep your eyes to yourself mister, she's taken."

Ziva smirked. "Are you jealous Tony?"

He spun her away from the prying eyes of the other guy and grinned, totally disarming her with his sincerity. "Me? Never." He put his mouth right by her ear to finish. "Jealousy is for everyone else because they don't have you."

She looked at him with brown eyes full of love and skimmed her lips over his. Tony stopped moving and cradled her face in his hands, deepening the caress and drinking in the affection she poured out. Without a doubt this had to be one of the best nights of his year so far.

**NCIS**

**Sunday May 1**

After basketball Darien plopped down on the grass and leaned back on his hands. "I found a new place the other day." About time when he'd been looking for almost a month, since he got back from visiting his family. "I can move in next Friday."

Mark grinned. "That's great man, I'm glad. Where is it?"

Darien gestured in a vague direction. "Not too far. Close enough for me to get on your cases a whole lot more than before."

"What kind of home is it?" Ziva inquired.

He shrugged. "It's nice. Enough space for me and a few of you clowns now and then."

Cassie drilled him with a stare. "Could you give any less specific answers?"

Darien smirked. "Probably." She sighed and he gave in. "I want it to be a surprise when you see it."

Adrian's brow furrowed. "That means it's either a really cool place you can't wait to show off, or something we should be very concerned about walking into without steel toed boots and hard hats."

"So, when do you want us to come over and help?" Mark asked, then noticed the questioning looks the guys were giving him. "Oh, right, forgot to mention that. I volunteered us to assist with the move."

Tony groaned. "You do this every time man. A little warning would be nice."

"What do you call this?" Mark tapped his watch. "That's five days worth of notice. It was less when I dragged you over to Brent's to muscle furniture into place."

"The Pi Kappa Alpha movers, back in business," Jordan said dryly. "Yay."

"Is a little enthusiasm too much to ask?" Mark demanded.

Darien spread his hands. "I can always hire a company."

"And deprive us of the joy of boxing up and moving everything you've collected in that condo for the last fourteen years? How dare you sir?" Adrian demanded.

"Sarcasm much Zip?" Cassie asked. "I think it's going to be fun."

"I guess we'll see," Tony agreed. Whatever happened, it was impossible to have the whole group in the same place at the same time and not enjoy themselves. And that was always something to look forward to.

**NCIS**

**Thursday May 5**

At the end of the day Abby came up to the squadroom, shared a smile with McGee as she walked by, and stopped at Ziva's desk. She looked up in surprise. "Abby, is there something you need?"

The dark haired girl sighed. "A long time ago we talked about having a sleepover but the timing never seemed to work out. I thought maybe we could go out for a drink tonight instead? Just you and me?"

Since she couldn't confer with her husband without raising suspicions, Ziva nodded. "Of course." She shut down her computer. "I can finished this tomorrow." Now that the weather was nice enough she didn't bother with a coat and only pushed a few bills in her back pocket rather than taking her whole purse. Hopefully Tony would think to bring the rest of her things home with him.

Linking arms, the girls turned back to the remaining team members. "And to all a goodnight," Abby declared, while Tony and Ziva locked gazes briefly. She knew he didn't like to give her up for any length of time, but this was a very worthwhile cause.

From his desk Tony watched them go, glad that his wife was getting a night out - a distraction from her recent melancholy - but a little concerned too. She'd just completed her second laser scar treatment a few days ago and, like the first, it had prompted a couple dark, restless nights and the occasional nightmare that they were still dealing with. The laser wasn't as bad as much of what she'd been through but she still bore the bruise it produced, though the swelling had gone down with his persistent application of ice packs. Ziva wasn't in the best of headspaces at the moment which made the forensic scientist's request fortuitous - no one was better at lifting people's moods than their very own Abby-go-lucky.

Abby grinned as soon as the elevator doors closed on them. "This is going to be fun. We haven't been out together in forever."

Ziva took the clip out of her hair and shook it. "We should...let loose tonight, yes?"

The goth's eyebrows rose at the more carefree look her friend suddenly portrayed. "If that's what you have in mind Ziva, I know just the place."

Abby chose a club where she was known by name at the door and welcomed like a long lost relative. The music had a great beat, a colourful light show was playing across the walls, and there was even a disco ball. As soon as they secured a booth Ziva stripped off the light sweater she'd been wearing all day, leaving only the black, form fitting, spaghetti strap tank top underneath. She dropped onto the bench and flashed her friend a delighted smile. "What do you suggest?"

Still surprised at the difference in Ziva between leaving work and arriving here, Abby gestured to the bar. "Their Mai Tai's and Mudslides are pretty fabulous, if you're looking for dessert in a glass. Ooh, and the Blue Hawaii. Nothing quite as cool as my Uncle Teddy makes, but if you want to have a good time those'll start you on the right path."

Ziva grinned at her. "Two Mudslides it is. I'll be right back."

Abby watched her go with a bit of a frown and pulled out her phone to text Tim. _Did something happen today?_

His response arrived in seconds. _Define something._

She shrugged. _I don't know. Something that hit a nerve for Ziva. She's acting like a person who needs to forget._

Back at the bullpen McGee's brow furrowed._ Not that I can think of. Want me to ask Tony? He'd know better than me._

_NO!_ The capital letters were necessary. _If you tell him she's behaving strangely he'll want to come keep an eye on her. I can do that myself. Plus we don't need him weaseling in on girl's night. I'm sure it'll be fine. Thanks anyways._

_Have fun_, he replied, wishing he had a reason to join them at the bar. But that was something else they'd have to work towards, just another in a long list of things he wouldn't have thought twice about a few months ago. Now that was practically all he thought about.

While she waited for their drinks to be made Ziva leaned against the counter, head tipped to one side so dark curls spilled over her shoulder. A guy started walking past and did a double take. "Wow." He swallowed. "I don't mean to come on too strong, but you're a really beautiful woman."

Her smile, though not meant to be, was enticing. "That is something we all like to hear."

"Do you also like to be asked for a dance?" He held out his hand hopefully. This time regret shadowed Ziva's expression and his shoulders sagged. "You're here with someone, huh?"

"Yes." She pointed towards the booth. "My friend."

"But not a...boyfriend?"

Ziva took pity on him and shared the rest of the story. "You seem nice and it is a sweet offer, but I'm married." She didn't get to say it out loud very often and found she liked the way it sounded to her ears.

"No rings," the guy felt compelled to point out.

She chuckled a little. "I'm not exactly a traditional girl." She glanced at Abby and back at the guy. "But if you can settle for one dance knowing this is going nowhere because I am very much in love with my husband and I will be going home to him tonight, I would be happy to accept."

He appreciated her straightforwardness and the no games approach. "I'm Tyler. And I'll take that deal."

"Lisa," she offered, feeling safer not using her real name. "Wait here. I will deliver our drinks and be right back."

"I won't budge."

Ziva returned to the table and smiled apologetically. "Will you feel terribly ignored if I dance with the tall blond gentleman at the bar?"

Abby's gaze was drawn to the guy staring at her friend. "Not at all." Her eyes sparkled. "Go. Have fun." She nodded a group of people not too far away. "They're regulars here. The guys are always glad for a dance partner."

"Thank you." Ziva went back to Tyler as she'd promised and he led her onto the floor.

"You know," he observed as they began grooving to the music, "a name like Lisa isn't nearly exotic enough for how you look."

She shrugged. "It might be short for something." The possibility hadn't been considered before tonight.

Seeing she was serious about the dance only, Tyler refrained from any more questions. He was kind of mesmerized though, watching the graceful way she moved. Even knowing Lisa was taken didn't stop him for admiring her form. One dance bled into two, then three, and suddenly she looked up. "Oh, I did not mean to stay so long."

Tyler's hand brushed her elbow as she turned to go. "Lisa." There was a bit of pleading in his tone. Something about the woman called to him and he wasn't anxious to lose her company.

She gave him a sad smile. "This was fun and I thank you. But please go find someone who is available. I am not."

He accepted her words with a heavy heart and took her hand, kissing the back. "Thank you for the pleasure of your company Lisa. I hope your husband knows he's a lucky man."

Nodding, Ziva melted through the crowd and returned to the booth. A few minutes later Abby tore herself away from her friends and fell across the table from her. "I hope you're enjoying yourself because I'm having a blast."

She drank a third of the glass in front of her before responding. "I feel bad for ditching you. This is supposed to be a girl's night."

Abby waved her hand like it didn't matter. "I like watching you have fun Ziva. Your life always feels so heavy and serious. It's a treat for me to see you let loose."

Ziva poked her straw into the melting slush in her glass. "I am glad you and McGee have made up." That was obvious simply from the ease of their recent interactions, compared to before. "I would have been sorry to see your friendship lost."

"Me too." She drained her drink and wished for another. "It's nice to have him back. But we're being a whole lot more careful this time and slow is...challenging, even when it's necessary."

"I know." Ziva let her mind drift back to the weeks and months she'd waited for Tony to get his act together initially. "But I am sure that patience will be rewarded."

"What about you and Tony?" Abby got a guarded look in answer to her question and sighed. "I can never forget what you told me in the fall, about how you feel. Is that still true even with this...Miami guy?"

Ziva's nose wrinkled. "It is...complicated Abby." The music changed and she brightened. "Another drink and time to hit the floor?"

Abby knew a distraction technique when she saw one but played along. "Sounds good to me. We've got all night, might as well enjoy it."

The Israeli-American agreed and she planned to. But without the company of handsome men who could never hold a candle to the one who owned her heart.

**NCIS**

**Friday May 6**

Ziva walked in the door after Ops to find her husband sitting on the couch, remote in hand, wearing nothing but a towel. Her gaze raked over his bare skin. "Is this a new look?"

His eyes stayed glued to the TV. "Are you leering David?"

She smirked and countered, "Perhaps. But you like it."

Now Tony met her gaze. "I do. You can google me anytime." Her questioning expression still required an answer and he shrugged. "I had the game on while I was in the shower, got out, heard cheering and didn't want to miss anything."

"Hmm." Ziva moved to sit down beside him and after a moment began slowly running her fingers over his naked torso.

At first it didn't bother him but then her touch became slower and...bolder and suddenly that was all he could think about. "Zi," he managed through a tight throat.

"Yes Tony?" she asked innocently, still watching the game.

"We could, uh, move this somewhere more comfortable."

Ziva looked at him with wide eyes. "Oh, but I would hate to make you miss anything."

While she spoke her fingers wandered around the top of the towel and finally he couldn't take it any longer. "Keep it up minx," he growled, "and you'll leave me with no choice but to have my way with you right here."

She smirked, so far managing to avoid his attempts to join the touching game. "I hope you don't think that's a punishment."

"Hardly," he scoffed, grabbing both her hands in his and pressing her back onto the couch. "In fact," he mumbled against her lips, "it may just be the best idea I've had all day."

Ziva's eyes twinkled with mischief as if she'd planned the whole thing just for this outcome and she sought his mouth in return. "I disagree," she whispered breathily. "The best is definitely yet to come."

_Replies:_

_Guest - Hi :) Sure, I'm happy to get questions. Oh...to my knowledge I've never used a Carrie Underwood song. Z really isn't a country fan, T's the one who likes a few of those songs. I had T introduce her to Brad Paisley's The World a few chapters back (Ch 44). Sorry I'm not very helpful, could you give me more details about the scene you're looking for? Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for taking the time to review! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - Since I've been trying to make this second half of the story more about Ziva being there for Tony, it was good to explore his emotions and reactions to this situation a bit more than the show gave us. So I'm glad you enjoyed that :) Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_


	56. 8x23 Swan Song 2

**Tuesday May 10**

Tony came in carrying an umbrella with his raincoat over one arm. Since Ziva had left first this morning, she was surprised by the items he'd brought and walked over with a furrowed brow. "Are you preparing for a monsoon?"

"The forecast is calling for rain."

"Spring rain?" His partner clarified. She sounded happy about that. It had been awhile since they took a walk in the rain together.

Tony wasn't a huge fan of her favourite spring/summer tradition. "Heavy rain," he corrected.

McGee looked up from a Spiderman comic. "What's your source?"

The senior field agent held out his phone with a grin, showing it off to Ziva as well. "That weather app you told me to download. It's awesome."

She failed to see why he was so excited about it and he frowned, looking down at the screen. "Wait, is this a trick?" The speculation about whether McGee's app was fake or not lasted for several seconds, then Tony shrugged. "I guess we'll see."

Ziva got up from her chair and walked over, turning him around to face the window, her hands on the side of his face and neck. "Are you going to believe what you read, or what's right in front of your eyes?"

Tony was having a hard time concentrating with her pressed against him like that, the heat from her touch on his skin. He gave her a sideways glance conveying that it was kind of a risque position for work but she didn't notice. From behind them McGee wondered if they had any idea how couple-y they looked sometimes. Gibbs rounded the corner and the probie was quick to put away his comic and get his feet off the desk, but though her fingers jerked slightly Ziva didn't seem in a hurry to move away from her partner and did so slowly before returning to her desk.

Clearing his throat in an attempt banish the tension he felt, Tony blurted out, "Gonna rain later."

"Not it's not," the team leader refuted and his confidence faltered.

When Gibbs said nothing else McGee looked around his computer. "No case?"

"No, there's a case," he answered slowly. "Just not ours."

Just then EJ came from the stairs with a familiar call for her team. "Gear up." Tony wished she'd shown up a few minutes sooner to see Ziva in his space. Maybe then she'd realize he was irrevocably spoken for and she was wasting her time, though thankfully she'd had less of it since Cade and Levin arrived a month ago and they spent three weeks investigating in Hawaii. The three of them got back Friday for a long, involved debrief with Vance and were sent home for the weekend. Since there hadn't been much settling in time after they showed up, yesterday was used for setting up house. So far there hadn't been all that much interaction yet and he was grateful for the reprieve.

Team Gibbs seemed rather disbelieving that their boss would just let the newbies take over, especially when the victim was an NCIS agent. A moment later Gibbs couldn't either and opened the drawer for his gun and badge. "What are you waiting for?" he asked, like them going too was a foregone conclusion. They grabbed their things and followed after him, Tony bringing his weather supplies just in case, which only made Ziva smile slightly. Her husband could be very stubborn when he wanted to, today appeared to be one of those days.

At the crime scene EJ didn't even blink when their team showed up and Ziva, feeling more gracious after a few uninterrupted weeks with her husband, made the first move. "How can we help?"

"Canvass," she answered without elaboration.

"Got it," McGee answered for all of them.

EJ looked at Tony like she wanted him to linger so they could talk, but he just nodded at her and followed his teammates, still carrying the ridiculous rain supplies said teammates had teased him about. When her silent entreaty didn't work EJ trailed after them, expounding on her theory that the P2P's MO has been changing.

"Based on what you found in Hawaii?" Tim asked as they walked the perimeter.

"I think that was a miss." Which baffled her. The P2P hadn't had a miss once in ten months, why now?

"You guys came up empty?" Tony ventured.

"No, he did," EJ corrected. "We met the man we suspect was his target at the hospital."

"A survivor? That is better than the morgue," Ziva commented.

The intended victim had recently been transferred from Norfolk to Pearl Harbor so their killer had tracked him down to do the deed, but fate had other ideas. "Someone intervened. Saved his life but lost an eye for the trouble."

Tony's brow furrowed. "How do you lose one eyeball?" He pondered the possibilities momentarily and shook his head. "Never mind. I'm not sure I want to know."

"Failure for P2P," McGee observed. "Is that a first sign this guy is human?"

Ziva was troubled by the entire case. "I do not think it is possible to retain all of your humanity when you are doing this kind of thing to other people. The part that would make this killer regret his actions has already died. There will be no stopping whatever he has planned."

The four of them made their way back to the main crime scene where Gibbs remained in the car to avoid his rival since Vance's exact words had been, "If you can't play nice, stay out of the sandbox."

EJ crouched down near the body and relayed what she saw. "With such distinctive bladework he may as well be signing his victims." She sighed and glanced at the members of both teams. "The Port-to-Port killer is back in town and he's targeting our own."

If that wasn't a morbid statement Tony didn't know what was and he didn't like it one bit. He shared a heavy look with his wife and got back to work. The sooner they got this guy, the better. Nobody else should have to die for this man.

**NCIS**

Ducky estimated the retired Agent Stark had died about twenty days previous, but their records showed he'd accessed the NCIS headquarters several times over the past couple weeks. Usually someone based out of Norfolk wouldn't have access, but Agent Stark was assigned to DC briefly the year before and had held onto his authorization. Even though Barrett's team was running the investigation, Director Vance wanted Team Gibbs to assist any way they could, starting by following up on the incident in Pearl Harbour with the one who got away.

Agent Levin speculated that P2P was trying to get familiar with the NCIS agents, so was himself using Agent Stark's ID and coming into the building. EJ then assigned Cade to go through the security footage. "If that's true I want to know how he got through unnoticed."

On the other side of the bullpen each member of Gibbs' team was busy reading through her report from Hawaii, so he just had to wait until they were finished. Then Tony began the briefing on what had happened, with Tim and Ziva joining him in front of the team leader's desk to add additional details. The one about the wind up teddy bear that lured the potential victim into the alleyway caught his attention. McGee sent himself down to the lab for Abby's help in finding the identity of their Good Samaritan Gavin O'Ryan, Tony headed off to pursue the mystery man using his own techniques, and Ziva got to employ her spy skills - pretending to have a question for Ducky so she could follow EJ and 'accidentally' overhear details of their investigation. Personally Tony thought she looked a little too pleased about the assignment and how she planned to carry it out, something that would have to be discussed later when this mess was a little less messy.

Gibbs went to the evidence garage to look through the case file for victim number five, Seaman Balfour, who was ambushed outside a nightclub in DC. While he was re-reading notes compiled during that investigation the team reassembled with little useful information to report. McGee and Abby had checked every kind of flight and found no record of a Gavin O'Ryan. Tony's remark about him possibly having multiple passports narrowed their potential list to CIA operatives. Given that the description of Gavin came with a British accent, that left them with only one person who really fit the bill - Trent Kort, who just happened to be in town.

The team leader and his faithful senior agent met Kort at the coffee cart outside the main doors and learned that he'd been in Hawaii pursuing the Port-to-Port killer. His eye had access to MTAC because apparently there was nothing off limits to the agency. The CIA was aware NCIS was on the case, they made it their business to collect information on all of their sister agencies - in this case they used Rob Crewe to do that. Kort was able to give them something they didn't know, the actual identity of P2P - Lieutenant Jonas Cobb. He used to be in the Navy but Trent would only share further information if Gibbs answered his question.

"How come Director Vance has a new girl leading the charge instead of you?"

"Question of the hour," Tony muttered.

Kort seemed to think the reason was because she didn't have Gibbs' history of questioning her superiors. He asked about the file on Vance he'd provided years ago but Gibbs was more interested in the information he had on their killer and volunteered Tony as Trent's chauffeur to retrieve the information. As soon as the car drove away Gibbs opened his phone and called the one man he'd always been able to rely on - Mike Franks - and asked him to get to DC as quick as he could, and also to bring something with him.

EJ's team got a video of Agent Stark's murder caught on someone's phone with a partial view of the killer's face, which she showed Gibbs as soon as he got off the elevator. It matched the height and build of the pictures they got from NCIS security cameras. Gibbs gave out one of his rare praises of 'Good work' but neglected to tell them he now knew the killer's name. He walked into his own bullpen and immediately got an update from McGee. "Director's tearing security a new one." He looked worried. "It's creepy. The guy was here."

Ziva's fingers were poised to type on the keyboard, though she wasn't actually working on anything at the moment. "What was he doing?"

Gibbs leaned over his desk, suddenly struck with the memory of not being able to find his glasses awhile back when he was trying to read a file, and put the pieces together. "Studying."

Ziva's eyebrows rose. "Studying us?"

He sat down. "You gotta know your enemy." A brief moment of thought occurred, then without warning he stood up and called EJ's name. "I have information pertaining to your case." His team looked on, stupefied, while he gave details and then both team leaders disappeared up to Vance's office to share the latest revelation.

Tony entered the office a short time later to pass on some unfortunate information. Despite Kort's willingness earlier to provide them with information about Jonas Cobb when Tony was his ride, the agency now refused to release the intel on the basis of it being classified. They were dismissed for the night, leaving Director Vance to haggle with the CIA brass, and the team left feeling rather uneasy about what had been uncovered.

McGee felt the need to go down and check on Abby again and even offered her a ride home. She declined until he told her what Gibbs said about Cobb studying them, then gladly accepted his offer. She decided to be let off at the home of her bowling league nuns, feeling safer in a crowd at this point, and Tim wished they could go back to the days before Maxine when they'd been making solid enough progress that he could've offered his apartment to be her safe place tonight. As it was, they were a long way from that at the moment.

Feeling especially edgy since he heard what Gibbs told Ziva, Tony entered their house with gun drawn, clearing each room and the garage before going out to check the yard as well, getting annoyed because Ziva stuck by him in partner mode when he wanted her safely inside. He locked the front door once they went back in, checked all other windows and doors, threw the curtain across the office sliding doors and shoved the length of wood into place on the track that would make it impossible to force the door open if the lock was compromised, and pulled the blinds in every room until they were completely sequestered. Only then did he relax a bit, though his weapon stayed attached to his belt instead of locked away in the box by the front door.

While he was securing the house, Ziva began collecting, checking, and cleaning all her hidden weapons from under the end table, inside a drawer, taped to the bottom of a sofa cushion, underneath a chair, inside a book, behind movies on the shelf, on the back of the toilet tank, on top of the bathroom curtain rod hidden by the ruffle, behind a picture on the wall and many other places. She retrieved several of the wearable ones and set them out on the coffee table. When he joined her Tony checked to make sure his backup was fully loaded and added a second knife with an ankle holster to compliment the one in his belt. Then he sank down beside her with a serious expression, wrapping his hands around hers.

"I don't want you going anywhere without me until this maniac is caught. We carpool to work. I'm your chauffeur to Ops and your shadow on runs. The girls want to see you or go out, I stay a discreet distance away." He stared into her eyes. "I'm not letting you out of my sight until I'm sure it's safe. I can't lose you Zi, not again."

She touched his cheek. "The same applies to you then. I will be on your six wherever you go."

"Even the bathroom?" he teased, needing to interject some levity into the moment.

Ziva's lips quirked up. "Gibbs will not allow that." She kissed his hand. "We can both take care of ourselves, but I will not rest easy until this threat is resolved."

"Yeah, I know," he said heavily. Tony held her securely against him, kissing her head. "So, was it just me or did you really enjoy playing spy again today?"

She chuckled. "Sometimes it is nice to practice those skills again. I like to be sure I have not lost my touch."

His lips caressed hers, fingers drifting idly over her hand. "Believe me babe, you have most definitely not lost your touch."

Seeing that the subject had strayed very far from work, Ziva took her time kissing him back. "Would that be a hint Mr. DiNozzo?"

Feigning innocence, he shrugged. "Beats me. I was thinking about music."

Her brow furrowed. "Music?" If this pertained to bedroom activities like she thought, she couldn't see how.

The confident grin she loved gave him away as he claimed her mouth. "Mmhmm. Sheet music. You wanna play a duet with me Ziva?"

One of the few groups of American euphemisms she was quite familiar with revolved around intimacy, and only because her husband was extremely invested in her being aware of all possible ways to word the subject. So because she knew he was speaking of making love and not actual instrumental music, Ziva smiled and nodded slightly as she pressed her lips to his. "That is an offer I can hardly turn down." They were both stressed by the case and a little comfort sex never hurt anyone. Neither did 'I love you' sex or any other kind they cared to have. So he led her to their bedroom and closed the door, locking them into their own private haven where, at least for a few hours, the rest of the world couldn't intrude.

**NCIS**

**Wednesday May 11**

Getting up at dawn when they hadn't been asleep until after midnight and the sleep that they did get hadn't been all that peaceful wasn't exactly Tony's idea of a good time. But because things at work would likely be crazy and keep them late Ziva wanted to go to Ops, which made him her designated shadow. In order to keep from being rushed getting ready for the office, the couple brought their go-bags with them so they could head to NCIS straight from the gym. Doors had only been open for five minutes when he and Ziva strolled in and Duke regarded them suspiciously. "Another early morning Ziva?" That was two so far in the last few months when he hadn't seen her on an open since very early in her marriage.

Ziva pressed her lips together. Tony didn't know about the other one, it was a day she snuck out of bed to work out so she could pick up his medal after work when he thought she was at Ops. When his client didn't answer Duke looked at Tony with raised eyebrows. "Since when do you have a tagalong David?"

Her expression grew even more serious. "There is a raised threat level at work, he is just being cautious."

Wrinkling his nose, the owner grumbled. "You're banned from the training rooms, they're not for making out." That incident was quite some time ago now but obviously he hadn't forgotten walking in on them in a compromising position.

"Do not be such a stick in the dirt," Ziva teased, eyes twinkling.

Tony gave a long suffering sigh. "Stick in the mud. And we promise to keep it G rated so as not to scar the kids."

Duke rolled his eyes at both of them. "Get to work."

Following orders as they were well trained to do, the couple split up and entered separate changerooms. Upon returning to the main gym area Ziva appropriated a treadmill and proceeded to run hard for as much time as she could spare, then got off and had a go at the punching bag. Tony worked weights and tried out the stairmaster, but when it kicked his butt after only a few minutes he joined his wife, holding the bag for her before taking his own turn. When they were both finished with their workouts, Tony glanced around the room.

"No other women in this early?"

"Sometimes," Ziva shrugged, "but there is a different crowd every day depending on their schedules and deployments."

He pursed his lips. "So you could sneak me into the women's changeroom and share the shower before work?" They were already going in at an ungodly hour, the least he could do was get a little fun out of it.

Ziva looked appalled. "Do you know what would happen if Duke found out?"

Tony shook his head slowly. "Nope."

"Well I do not want to know either. I am sorry Tony, we cannot compromise here."

He sighed heavily. "Fine. But it takes all the fun out of showering when I'm by myself in there."

She smirked. "We are not the only ones here this morning. You may get some company."

Tony scowled at his wife. "Not what I meant and you know it."

Ziva kissed him slowly. "At the next available opportunity I will share the shower with you ahava, I promise."

He gave in. "I'll take what I can get. See you in fifteen."

"Ten," she challenged and he shook his head. "Always have to show me up babe?"

"Are you saying it is not possible?" He could be ready that fast if he really wanted to be.

"I'm saying I don't have the energy to race. But fifteen minutes is all we have, then we're late."

Ziva nodded. "Very well." She left him with one last kiss and they met back in the foyer a quarter hour later.

They hit the ground running and by the time Gibbs and Mike Franks walked into the office at half-past six, they'd already been hard at it for thirty minutes. McGee and Abby had obviously been in longer considering what they were able to report to their boss and his former boss and Tony began wondering why they even bothered going home last night. Ziva, on the other hand, worried about Mike from the first moment she saw him. He looked and sounded sick and it concerned her. She knew he'd smoked for years and was concerned that abuse of his body was now catching up to him. But that apparently was a story for another time.

When Tony told Gibbs Vance, Barrett, and Kort were in MTAC because the Director managed to get them the clearance they needed, he took Mike with him and joined them. Mike was allowed to stay by Vance because Kort didn't want him there and all four were read into Project Frankenstein, which took US servicemen and conditioned them to be assassins under arduous conditions. Cobb met the qualifications but they hadn't known if he could kill. His first assignment proved he could but when he came back Cobb didn't want to be trained or handled, didn't go back to his cover unit, he just disappeared with a dozen CIA passports and the P2P killings started.

Gibbs left his team with the file about Operation Frankenstein and orders to study it and get Ducky to build a new psyche profile while he and Mike went to do research. As they walked out Ziva looked after the duo with concern. "Is it just me, or does Mike appear-"

"Haggard?" McGee supplied.

"Old?" Tony tried.

She shook her head. "Sick. I think there is something wrong. Why would he come now?"

Tony crossed his arms. "There's a lot of things wrong right now Ziva. Gibbs and Franks know what they're doing, don't read too much into his visit."

Ziva wasn't willing to leave it at that but had no other choice. They had a job to do.

**NCIS**

Hours passed while Gibbs and his mentor sat in the basement poring over the documents Kort had provided about Operation Frankenstein. Eventually Mike needed a smoke break and pulled one of his ever present cigarettes out of a pocket. He put it in his mouth and then thought better of the action. "Probably not a good idea to light up down here, huh? Nothing but sawdust and bourbon." He set the little white stick down and poured himself another finger of the amber liquid, then some for Gibbs too. Mike stared at the pages laying in front of his former probie. "I got sick of reading all this crap about two folders in. Never really pegged you for the kind to dredge through the covert operations history of NCIS."

"I'm not," Gibbs agreed, closing the folder and opening a notepad to check something else.

"You trusted Vance." It was a combination between a question and a statement.

"I still do."

"But it hasn't been right between you."

Gibbs sighed and kept reading. "Well, not lately." Strange enough, just like things between him and Tony had been off over the last several weeks.

"Can't just be something you did," Mike observed. Gibbs had ticked off a lot of powerful people during his tenure and it hadn't gotten him canned yet. The results always outweighed the offense. "Pushing you away, pulling this Barrett close. Even him and Kort seem to have something cooking.

"It's tough to miss." Gibbs tried to seem uninterested but the differences and secrecy had bothered him.

Mike stood up. "Well, I hope these old ghosts tell you what you need to hear." Gibbs dropped the notebook on top of a stack like he was fed up. "You do hear ghosts probie."

"Yeah." Gibbs took off his glasses. "I see them too."

"I believe we make them."

"We've made our share."

Pushing his jacket aside, Mike patted his gun. "Not just with this. With the memories we make. We fill our living spaces with them. That's why I've always tried to make sure that wherever I live, the longer I live there, the space becomes filled with memories that banish or at least overshadow the ghosts." He reached forward and held up his jar of bourbon. "To more good memories."

"Yeah," Gibbs agreed. "And fewer bad ones."

Mike coughed, the hacking sound drawing lines of concern on his friend's face. He drained the rest of his drink, then headed up the stairs without another word and Gibbs just watched him go. All Mike's talk about ghosts and space and memories seemed almost like encouragement, although the older man couldn't know it, for Gibbs to let Celeste in. To let memories with her overshadow the ghosts he lived with. To let her presence help him banish them to further away corners where they couldn't keep a cloud over his life. It was something to think about, later, when this killer was off the streets.

Outside the blue clapboard house Mike was just about to light his cigarette when something, some noise or movement caught his attention over the thunder rolling through. He tossed the little white stick to the ground and walked off the porch, right into the street. Thunder rumbled and rain started pouring down. There was no proof, but all his training, his instincts, his years of experience told him someone was there and like the old Western cowboy he fancied himself, Franks called him out.

"Ain't you smart enough to get out of the rain?" He got a bit closer and spoke before a second flash of lighting confirmed his suspicions. "Me neither, Jonas." He took another step forward. "My name is Mike Franks. I figure I've got one more fight left in me. You want it?"

Jonas approached slowly at first, stopped to reveal the scalpel in his hand, then rushed forward as Mike drew his weapon. He blocked with one arm and fired twice into the air. They wrestled for control and Mike's next two shots were pointed at the ground but he thought one might've hit his opponent before Jonas knocked his gun away, pushing Mike on his back and gaining the upper hand. Mike punched the younger man and Jonas stabbed him in the chest, then got up and limped off. The rich red front door of the house opened and Gibbs ran out, gun in hand. He slowed when he saw Mike laying in the middle of the street and forewent the procedure of scanning for threats as he fell to his knees beside his oldest friend.

Mike opened his eyes one last time as Gibbs held his head, but they slid closed with finality and he sighed. "Oh Mike." He closed his own eyes and wished he still prayed. "I didn't get to say goodbye." Not to his mom, not to Shannon or Kelly, not to Jenny, and now not to Mike. How many more was he supposed to take?

**NCIS**

With no further instruction from their team leader, McGee, Tony, and Ziva sent themselves home around seven with Vance's approval. They hadn't gotten any more leads on Cobb despite reading over what they'd been given on Operation Frankenstein until their eyes wanted to fall out. There just wasn't enough information to predict where Cobb might go or what he would do next. Tony and Ziva were slouched on the couch together for some downtime after a late dinner that came in takeout containers when their phones erupted with a tone reserved for emergencies only. That kind of alert meant they were to call in immediately and both jumped to do so.

Tony, as senior field agent, was patched directly to Vance's office while Ziva was connected to McGee through the switchboard. Her heart was in her throat, the only thing she could think was that it had to be Gibbs or they would not have gotten an emergency notice. But when McGee answered he allayed her fears only to add a heavy layer of grief. "It's Mike. Cobb got him." She closed her eyes and held back the tears. They could be shed later, right now there was work to do. Ziva hung up and turned sorrow filled eyes on her husband.

He hugged her quickly and kissed the side of her head. "We've got to go Zi."

They grabbed their things still by the front door and got in the same car to head for their boss's house, both sure that no one would ask for an explanation about why they were together, not at a time like this. The rain continued to pound steadily down when they arrived. Squad cars with lights flashing, agent vehicles, and the Autopsy van littered the street. Hustle and bustle was happening all around as the scene was contained until it could be processed and in the middle of it all stood Gibbs wearing a grey zip up hoody, blood stains marring the arms and stomach area.

At the first sight of blood that belonged to one of their friends Ziva wanted to be sick, but now was not the time. They both headed for McGee's car and he passed them crime scene kits without a word. Silently and steadily the team did what needed to be done, though Ziva did spare one moment to put her hand on Gibbs' arm as she walked by. He didn't register her presence, nor did he seem to notice anything that was going on. He just stood there, staring, and that scared her most of all.

Later Tony, in his NCIS windbreaker that did not work so well as a raincoat, approached Gibbs to give an update. Thankfully it was a warm night so the rain wasn't cold as much as inconvenient. Ironic that he'd been predicting rain for the past two days and now it had finally come. "Boss, I found some other shell casings." He waited for Gibbs to acknowledge him, which he slowly did. "Looks like the blood trail was washed away by the rain."

Gibbs said nothing and when McGee called his name Tony jogged back to join him. Vance sat in a black SUV and watched the proceedings through the window. Ducky and Palmer, after collecting what evidence was available, were finally ready to load Mike's body into the back of the van. That was what finally got Gibbs attention and he headed that way, eyes locked on the black bag. "I'm lost Mike," he said quietly to himself. "How did this happen?"

He ended up in Autopsy and they left him alone. He stood there long enough that his clothes started to dry as he went over the whole thing in his mind, remembering every moment of the last two days and trying to pin down when it all went wrong. But he couldn't figure it out, none of it made sense, all that was clear was that he hadn't been there when Mike needed him and he didn't know why. The agent part of him knew Ducky and Jimmy needed to get to work, the friend part of him was grateful when Ducky said they could wait until he was ready. When he finally gathered the courage to unzip the bag and take a final look at his friend, Gibbs placed his hand on Mike's head and said his goodbye privately, where no one else would see.

Ducky and Jimmy were finally motioned back into the room to take photos and do measurements. Jimmy tried to suggest Gibbs not be around for the autopsy, Ducky told his protégé to leave the team leader alone. As they were getting started Tony and Ziva, looking a bit worse for the wear, entered the room to give their report. Tony confirmed that Abby matched the prints on the murder weapon to Jonas Cobb and handed over an NCIS sweatshirt to replace Gibbs' hoody since it was now evidence. "We canvassed a twenty block radius around the crime scene, no trace of him."

"Or Mike's firearm," Ziva added, uneasy in the presence of another death. "How many shots did you hear?"

"Five."

Her words were a bit halting. "We recovered...five shell casings." Her gaze was drawn to the metal table where Franks lay but she kept on topic. "McGee is dropping a net on the city. He has red-flagged every one of Cobb's possible identities." She couldn't stop looking at Mike, watching what Ducky and Jimmy were doing, and it made Gibbs turn to check on their progress as well.

"Mike kept eight in the mag, one in the chamber. Assume Cobb's armed."

"We did pull a slug embedded in a parked car," Tony interjected. "Traces of blood on it, through and through. We can assume Cobb got hit at least once."

Ziva tried not to watch as they measured the size and depth of the wound, she didn't want to remember him like this, but she couldn't help herself. It was too much to deal with and even though Gibbs' loss was greater than theirs she was simply overwhelmed by the futility of it all and excused herself from the room. Tony glanced at where she'd stood in his peripheral vision and Gibbs' slight nod was all the permission he needed to go after his partner. She'd disappeared for about twenty minutes immediately after their return to NCIS and he'd really worried when he couldn't find her. She joined him in enough time to pool what they'd collected from the crime scene before they reported to Gibbs and he hadn't gotten the chance to ask where she'd been. He didn't want to lose her again, so following now was his priority. If she needed someone to lean on it was going to be him, they all had to make it through this night in one piece.

**NCIS**

**Thursday May 12 (very early morning)**

While they were at the scene she remained a focused, trained professional and no one could tell the rain was masking many tears. Once everything was wrapped up and they returned to NCIS she escaped to a storage closet upstairs, tucked her body into the corner, and sobbed out the pain of their loss. She grieved for the team because Mike was family, the legend who trained their boss. She grieved for Leyla and Amira who were now alone, without the man who'd protected and loved them so fiercely. And she grieved for Gibbs, a man close to few people and the ones he dared to love kept leaving him not of their own accord.

She was a bit of a mess by the time she and Tony walked into Autopsy shortly after midnight to brief Gibbs, and no matter how hard she tried Ziva could not stop her eyes from drifting to Mike's body as Ducky and Jimmy went through the usual process of pictures and measuring and observations. They should never have to do that to one of their own and yet this was not the first. Tony, attuned to her in a way no one else could be, remained aware of her distraction but it was the brokenness he sensed that concerned him more and he delivered the update matter of factly, needing to get it finished so he could steal a few minutes with his wife.

Gibbs spoke but his words didn't register and Ziva looked at him, swallowing, her gaze drawn back to their dead friend. "Excuse me."

Willing his feet to stay where they were, Tony glanced to the side, holding his breath until Gibbs nodded, permission granted to follow his partner. She was holding the elevator for him, waiting, knowing he would come. There was some comfort in that. Tony gave them exactly three seconds before he flipped the emergency stop switch, plunging them into the safety and solace of near darkness. He put his hand on her shoulder. "Zi."

She fell into his arms like she'd just been waiting for an invitation and Tony hugged her hard, surrounding her with his body and wishing he could protect her from the dark side of life they too often encountered. Amazed to discover she still had tears left, Ziva let her husband's shirt absorb them for a few minutes before pulling back and wiping at her eyes with one sleeve. Tony's thumb contributed to the effort, a gentle sweep across her damp skin.

Ziva sniffed. "There is always another monster." Saleem, Cobb, and hundreds of other faceless villains they'd never be able to stop.

He sighed. Talk about a truth he couldn't even refute. "Yeah."

"And we-we just keep making targets of ourselves."

Tony took her hand, repeating that same thing she told him when Macy died. "Better us than someone who didn't sign up for it."

Tear washed eyes met his. "Did we really know what we were getting into?" She looked at the floor. "I don't think I can take anymore."

That simple statement scared him, knowing she felt so hopeless right now. But Ziva had endured far more than anyone should ever face and Tony understood those words were not said lightly. He tucked frayed tendrils of hair behind her ear, pressing the backs of his fingers to her cheek. Green and brown gazes poured into each other. "Please," he began, clearing his throat, "don't quit on me now." Her shoulders sagged and Tony took a deep breath, throwing on the shadow of a smile. "But if you want to walk away that's okay, I'll come with you." They'd be giving up so much, but maybe it was his turn. She'd become an American for him, he could be something other than NCIS for her. "Maybe we'll run away after all." It was a solution he'd offered after her first post-Somalia psych eval when Ziva couldn't face the thought of any more.

She tilted her face up and their lips met in a kiss so soft and tender and long that it brought tears to his eyes. Ziva pulled away first. "There is too much to stay for, though right now that option is very attractive." She slid her arms around his waist under the zippered sweater he'd changed into when they came back from the crime scene dripping wet. "Can we have a few more minutes before we go upstairs?"

He dropped a kiss on her hair and bend his head to rest on her shoulder. "Sure." The evil would still be there to face when the doors opened again, for now they needed each other to start healing the cracks in their hearts. No one would be safe until that madman was caught.

**NCIS**

About that same time McGee found Abby where he expected, in her office huddled against the wall with Bert, the same place she'd retreated to when worried about Gibbs after the Pin Pin Pula explosion. He stopped a few feet away. "Hey." She glanced up and he sighed. "Mind if I join you?"

Abby shook her head and Tim lowered himself to the floor, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, accepting the offered hand to fold her fingers between his. A few moments of quiet were all that reigned before she began. "Gibbs lost his mentor tonight Timmy. Mike was probably the closest thing he had to a best friend. He taught Gibbs to be an agent. He was...he was family and now-" Her voice cracked and she squeezed her eyes shut. "It's not fair. Pacci, Kate, Jenny and now Mike? What if...what if he shuts us out to stop hurting?"

McGee felt her fear. Gibbs was as good as her dad, years after she'd lost the first one before she could say 'sorry' and 'I love you' instead of the 'I hate you' she'd never be able to take back. He wished he had all the right answers and held her a bit tighter. "I don't know Abs. I'm sorry."

She turned and touched her lips to his. Her grief screamed at him too loudly to ignore and he cupped her cheek, his mouth covering hers. That form of comfort only lasted seconds but he knew he'd cherish them long after this night had passed, along with her quiet words. "You're here Timmy. You never have to apologize."

Tim was still working up the courage to offer his heart again, for them to be something real, though she'd never actually let it go the first time. And in reality three weeks after their tentative reconciliation was probably too soon for this level of intimacy, but the situation was far from normal and tonight they just needed the comfort of someone who loved them. It was a truth that had always been there, but might still go unadmitted and unacknowledged for many months to come.

**NCIS**

After the Autopsy was finished around one in the morning Gibbs got back to business. There would be time to grieve later, right now catching Mike's killer took precedence. "Did you update your psyche profile?"

Ducky dried his hands on the towel he held out. "Cobb spent years within the rigid structure of the military. These kills make a mockery of rank and promotion."

"Changing uniforms after cleansing the bodies as if they were reborn," Gibbs read off the report.

"Yes," Ducky confirmed. "His frequent use of ice might express how he himself felt frozen."

"Bound," Gibbs continued. "Constricting ropes. Tightly wrapped in plastic."

"His first kill as an operative of the CIA liberated him from the rules to which he'd been previously confined. Freedom from right and wrong." The older man leaned forward earnestly. "He became a beast, an animal."

"Yeah," Gibbs nodded. "I saw that in his eyes on the video."

"In a moment name, rank and title meant nothing. It's primal. What dominates is instinct and the will to survive." Ducky took a moment to collect his thoughts. "But I also believe that in face to face confrontation Cobb feels insecure, he doesn't know if he can win. So he becomes a hunter. He picks his targets, lays traps, dresses his kill."

Which all made sense, except Jonas hadn't stayed consistent. "But why the change in his MO now?" Gibbs wanted to know.

"His focus changed," Ducky shared. "He drew the attention of predators further up the food chain in the form of Trent Kort and NCIS agents. Predators he had to study."

"Duck," his voice was hoarse, "he was at my house. How does that fit in? I was deliberately not chasing him."

"There's nothing to suggest he was there to commit violence," the ME noted.

"Mike Franks might disagree with that," Gibbs put in bitterly.

Ducky gave him a knowing look. "Mike might have picked a fight. You and I both know that." Gibbs grudgingly admitted he had a point. "Each time Cobb has killed he baited the trap, that's never changed. Until tonight. So if he wasn't in your neighbourhood hunting, he was-"

The light went on. "He was doing research."

That conversation sent him up to the top office and Gibbs silently joined Leon in front of the window. They talked about how they study each other, trying to understand the why behind what decisions were made. Vance pointed out the difference between them was that he was responsible for Gibbs' actions, not the other way around. For the first time Gibbs told his boss what he thought, that he should've been on the P2P case from the beginning. Leon conveyed his condolences about Mike, then turned it back around by saying Gibbs was the one who brought him in, hoping the former agent's presence would intimidate the director into changing his mind. Gibbs pointed out that Vance always gave into Mike, so he must have one heck of an ace up his sleeve, some sort of information from Leon's past that he didn't want getting out. Vance vehemently refuted the theory, then commented on how close they'd been. But it was the way he worded it that made Gibbs think there was more to all this than met the eye.

"If I backed off on our friendship, maybe I had to step back, take a deep breath, and do my job. There's other people I have to answer to."

"Maybe when bodies were showing up in Europe," Gibbs allowed. "But when it's in my own backyard and you promote that-" he hesitated for a split second, running through the many adjectives he could use for EJ before settling on a less demeaning one "-rookie over me..."

"That wasn't my decision!" Vance spit out.

Gibbs suddenly had a multitude of half-formed thoughts racing through his mind. "Promotions," he said more to himself than that other man, suddenly understanding why Cobb redressed his victims. "He hates them," he informed Leon.

"Who? Cobb or you?"

"No," Gibbs clarified, "he thinks we have that in common. He stole a souvenir from my desk, he was at my house."

"But he uses bait to attract his targets," Vance pointed out. "He's never baited you."

"No, not me. He feels a kinship with me because I got skipped over."

"In favour of Barrett," the director began to see where he was going with this.

"There is no witness," Gibbs realized. "He videod himself. He's using it Leon."

"To bait the trap." And Agent Barrett and her team were about to walk right into it.

Vance immediately put in a call to EJ and demanded her location. They'd been scouring the building the emails from the so called witness had been traced to floor by floor but hadn't found anything yet. The director warned them to be on high alert because Cobb was armed and knew they were coming. On a team of three there was no even split, so as team leader EJ headed one direction while Cade and Levin went another. The first room they checked had a wall plastered with photos of their team. They were the targets.

On her own in a dark hall EJ heard a noise and swivelled to look behind her, moving that direction. As she opened a door to clear the room, Cade and Levin came out of the one they'd entered. A shot fired and Levin was thrown back against the wall. Hearing the cry of pain Leon sent backup with one word. "Gibbs." He rushed downstairs to grab Tony and they raced to the scene.

EJ went in the direction of gunfire and Cade, scanning the hall, stepped out with gun drawn. He took two rounds and Director Vance demanded a status report from EJ. She shot at a shadow running away and helped the tallest team member into the relative safety of another room. "Cade and Levin are down. I'm going after Cobb."

"No," Leon ordered, "wait for backup." When she didn't respond he muttered under his breath. "Looks like she learned something from you after all Gibbs."

EJ edged slowly towards where she'd seen someone, flashlight fixed on that spot, but was suddenly distracted from her mission by a whirring noise. While she frowned at the little moving toy, Cobb burst through a piece of drywall and tackled her to the ground. Both armed with guns, they struggled to point the weapons away from and at each other. Heavier and stronger than her Jonas wore down EJ's resistence and pressed the barrel of his gun under her jaw.

The half of Team Gibbs Vance sent arrived on scene within minutes. Covering each other, they swept the area for threats and made their way down the hall without a sound. Tony ducked into the picture room to find Levin on the floor, in the room across the way Gibbs discovered a wounded Cade who was still conscious enough to try and aim his gun. He put plastic and pressure on the agent's shoulder while Tony checked and confirmed his suspicions that Agent Levin was dead. Tony joined his boss and Gibbs asked the next most pertinent question, "Where's Agent Barrett?"

"Cobb took her," Cade rasped.

Gibbs tasked Tony to stay with Cade and keep pressure on the bullet hole while he went after them. Outside Gibbs scanned the almost empty parking lot and surroundings, slowly approaching the NCIS vehicle Barrett's team must've arrived in. There was no one inside but a piece of plastic hung out of the trunk like the lid had been slammed shut and that part hadn't made it all the way in. The trunk was locked but he used his knife to open it. EJ was lying on her side facing the back of the seats, plastic wrapped around her head. Taking a deep breath, Gibbs rolled her over and instead of a dead body her mouth and eyes were wide open as she fought for air.

Ripping the plastic off her face, he freed her within seconds and helped her sit up, gasping and panting for breath. Two ambulances soon arrived, Tony having the foresight to call an extra one in case Barrett had become one of Cobb's victims. After Cade had been taken away Tony and Gibbs did a cursory processing of the scene and were ready to head back just after 0200 when the paramedics finished assessing EJ. Hearing how Gibbs found the female agent had sent Tony's heart racing. All he could think about was Ziva and imagining her in the same situation. But what if next time they were too late? Even the thought of such a thing made it hard to breathe.

Once they made it back to the office he grabbed a bottle of water for their coworker and spent a few minutes calming himself in the breakroom while he carefully made Ziva tea. He set it on her desk and offered her a protein bar from the stash they kept for these occasions. Their last meal was hours ago but she shook her head, grief hanging heavy in her eyes, and he squeezed her hand gently to say that he understood and wouldn't press her.

The case briefing began as soon as EJ excused herself to the ladies' room and when a photo of the car she'd been locked in came up on the screen, Ziva interrupted the guys' tag team, recognizing the digits keyed across both door panels. "That's Rob's cellphone number."

Tony's gaze snapped to hers and Gibbs turned that direction. "Find him. Warn him. Tell him to watch his back." No one should have to lose another agent to this deranged psycho.

Ziva nodded and hurried to her desk. Ten minutes later she slammed the phone down. "I have tried everything Gibbs, but he is not answering. His boss said Rob is working a classified assignment and refused to contact him." She rubbed her forehead. "Cobb knows Rob is on this case. He blames the Navy and CIA for everything that has happened. I am...concerned."

"I blame Agent Eye Patch for this whole mess," Tony grumbled, then tried to be understanding about 'the other man'. "We'll find him Ziva."

She chewed on her lower lip and didn't respond. For all his faults Rob had been her friend. Despite the lies she did not want any harm coming to him.

**NCIS**

The clock read 0300 when Gibbs gave the order to go home, get some rest, and come back in six hours ready to run every possible lead into the ground. McGee wasted no time taking the elevator downstairs to Abby's lab where she was just getting ready to leave. At his entrance she sighed. "Please tell me Gibbs doesn't need something. I'm tired, I just want this whole night to be a bad dream, and I really want to go home."

He caught her hand. "Gibbs doesn't need anything else tonight. Come on, I'll take you."

Abby frowned. "I can drive myself."

"I'm coming with you either way," McGee insisted.

She closed her eyes. "Tim." It would be so hard to only be his friend tonight and not seek another form of comfort.

He stood his ground. "This guy isn't just a random suspect Abby, he's dangerous." Tim cupped her cheek. "If something ever happened to you I -"

Abby stared into his eyes. "You'd what McGee?"

McGee gave her a look like she should know what but finished the sentence anyways. "I'd never get over it," he told her seriously.

The man knew how to wreak havoc on her heart and disarm all her arguments with a couple sentences and that puppy dog expression she'd fallen in love with the first time. Giving up fighting what was obviously a losing battle, Abby tucked her arm around his. "My place or yours?"

He kissed the side of her head. "Mine," Tim decided. "And I think we'll have to share the bed."

Her eyebrows rose. Last year he'd been dead set against making that a habit. "Oh?"

"Yeah," McGee smiled, "it's the best way for you to protect me."

That drew soft laughter from her and an, "I love you Timmy," whispered under her breath. Abby knew, like the gentleman he was, he'd pretend he hadn't heard until they'd had enough time to process these events and figure out once and for all their feelings for each other and hopes for the future. This would be one night, one time, one brief space of hours to soak in the solace of each other. Maybe someday they'd get their act together, but tonight Abby was glad this wonderful man was her best friend and willing to be whatever she needed. A girl could only dream of more.

**NCIS**

They'd been up longer than this on last year's boat case that kept them working through almost three days straight, but now close to twenty-four hours without sleep along with the emotional drain of Mike's loss combined to make the couple completely and utterly exhausted. As soon as they got in the door Ziva made a beeline for their room and he half-expected to find her curled up on the bed with Moses soaking in her tears, but instead she stood at her dresser and solemnly switched her birthday 'Z' necklace for the Star of David. She held the pendant in her hand and he watched her lips move in silent prayer. When she turned to look at him the anguish in her eyes undid him and he enveloped her in a hug.

"Oh Zi," he whispered hoarsely, "I'm sorry."

She sagged against him. "It is your loss too."

He didn't know what else to do, words were meaningless in the face of death, so he kissed her, fully and deeply. Ziva responded out of a profound need to feel something other than this sorrow. Tonight making love was not for passion or release as much as for the comfort of being surrounded in their love. They both sought the most intense connection they could have with each other and were entirely spent by the time it was over. Despite the heat radiating off her flushed skin Ziva shivered, so Tony got up and led her to the shower, running it hotter than he usually preferred. They washed of sweat and tears and grief and evidence of their intimacy, then stood together until the temperature began to cool.

It was half-past four in the morning when they finally laid down to sleep, guaranteeing that, if they were able to rest, they would only get four hours again before they were expected at work. His prediction came true - both halves of the couple had a hard time dropping off and first one then the other were restless, tossing and turning and keeping their sleeping companion awake. Tony was still stupid tired a few hours later when he wearily wondered if it was possible for this week to get any crappier.

**NCIS**

Gibbs hit her speed dial number and hung up half a dozen times before the phone rang with Celeste on the other end. "How long were you going to wait?" she asked quietly. "Even if you only let it ring once my phone still logs the call."She'd been asleep for a couple hours before his contact attempts woke her. Usually she didn't have the device on at night but because of the toll the P2P case had been taking on her ex-husband she was keeping it close as a precaution.

"Oh." He opened his mouth but couldn't find the words to explain.

"Your team?" Celeste ventured when it became clear answers would be hard to find.

"All in one piece." _Thankfully._

"Director Vance?" she tried.

"Fine."

She thought about who or what else in his life might be causing this distress and a phone call after midnight and her heart skipped a beat. "No. Mike?"

The strangled sound that came over the line could be nothing other than a stifled sob and Celeste sat up in bed. "He's gone Les." There were tears in his voice and Gibbs cleared his throat. "Mike's dead."

"No," she whispered. "Oh no. Jethro I'm so sorry." She knew how close the two men were, their history spanned twenty years, and could well imagine how great this loss was for her ex-husband.

Gibbs clamped a hand over his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut but the tears trickled out anyways and he couldn't make them stop. Celeste stayed quiet while he grieved for his friend and finally Gibbs wiped his face roughly. "He was sick. Mike went down fighting, the way he would've wanted it. He deserved more than the slow end cancer would've brought."

"I wish I could do something," she confessed. "I feel so useless being here. I know how much Mike meant to you."

"Don't have a lot of friends," Gibbs said gruffly. "Mike earned that spot."

"He cared for you, more than he ever said I'm sure. You wouldn't be Amira's godfather otherwise." Celeste smiled. "He trusted you to take care of his family Jethro."

Gibbs couldn't stop another sob. "They're all alone now Les." Mike had loved his family intensely. He never would've left them voluntarily.

"No," she told him with conviction. "They're not."

She had a good point and Gibbs sat up straighter, Mike's familiar drawl running through his mind from the Paloma case. _"Do what you have to for family." "What rule is that?" "The unspoken one."_

"I'll call Leyla in the morning." After their cabin was burned last year Mike consented to move closer to town, though still within walking distance of the water, a small place that had phone service unlike the beach house. "They should be here."

"With you," Celeste agreed. "They're your responsibility now." She sighed. "When is Mike's funeral?"

"Saturday. If we get the case wrapped up."

"You'll find him Jethro. No suspect stands a chance against you and your team. I know you'll get justice for Mike."

"I want him dead," Gibbs growled. No one messed with the ones he loved without consequences.

"He killed a former federal agent and who knows how many other people. Any judge would give him the death penalty. Do this right, please." He didn't need any more regrets.

"No guarantees." It wasn't at all reassuring, but he could only offer so much.

"Is there anything I can do?" Celeste asked after a few moments of silence.

The words 'I wish you were here' halted on the tip of his tongue. "This helps."

She longed for the freedom to say 'I love you', but that day was still a long way off. "Be safe Jethro, please."

"Do my best." He rubbed burning eyes. "Thanks Les." Then he hung up quickly and sat in the dark, playing rainy scenes over and over in his head and wondering if he could've done something different to save his friend.

"Sorry Mike."

"_Never say you're sorry,"_ his mentor's voice echoed in memory. _"Sign of weakness."_

"Yeah, well, maybe I am."

"_Don't you let that dirtbag get away with it Probie. Think. You're smarter than him."_

"I'm trying!" Gibbs spit out. "But I don't know what the end game is. I don't know what he wants."

"_Figure it out. Your time's almost up."_

"I know," he sighed. "I know." Gibbs stared at the chair Mike had occupied only hours earlier and could almost see his old friend sitting there, a bottle in one hand and an easy grin on his face. "Gonna miss you Mike."

The older man chuckled. _"Don't get all sentimental on me now Jethro."_

"I owe you a lot."

"_Take care of my girls and we'll call it even."_

"I will," he promised firmly. "You have my word."

Mike's crooked grin appeared. _"See you around Probie."_

"Bye Mike." Gibbs dropped his head into his hands and tried to figure out how to keep safe the ones that were left.

_Replies:_

_Allie - thank you :) I had quite a bit of fun with the group date and Z&amp;A's night at the club. That's so nice of you to say, thanks. I'm glad you think that. Yeah, this chapter was time for soaking in the lightheartedness while it was possible, the next 3 get a bit heavy. I really love knowing that people are enjoying the story so I'm thrilled to hear what you think of it. I appreciate your support and your reviews, thank you :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - thank you :) Yeah, the gang tends to have a lot of fun together as a group, it's a nice break from the stress of NCIS and keeping their real life under wraps. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest (MIT54) - I hadn't seen the episode in awhile until I sat down to write it, then I was struck by how much Tony was keeping inside and keeping to himself, like he didn't want anyone to know how badly the loss affected him and how much the whole situation hurt. It was nice to be able to see him process Danny's death and his boss's betrayal a little more here than they deloved into on the show. I'm so glad when you guys can really feel the emotions, makes me feel like I'm doing something right. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	57. 8x24 Pyramid 1

**Thursday May 12 continued (11 am, at work since 9 am)**

When her phone buzzed for the fourth time in five minutes she reluctantly looked at the screen. Rob, again. She'd hoped that being ignored for the last month would encourage him to finally give up, but the man personified the definition of persistence. A tap of her finger opened the message - _Ziva, I know you're still angry but I really need to talk to you. Please._

Ziva sighed and Tony looked up. Seeing no one else around he strolled casually over to her desk and sat on the edge and she showed him the text. His eyebrows rose. "This guy doesn't know when to quit."

She worried her bottom lip with her teeth. "It sounds urgent. And we have been trying to reach him." After Mike they weren't taking anyone's safety for granted.

"You better tell him to be careful."

Before she could even start to type, the phone vibrated. _Don't try to reply, I'm not supposed to be contacting anyone. I'll be back in DC today and I'll call you_. There was a pause, then another shorter message. _Please answer the phone_.

She pulled a hand down her ponytail. "We need to find him Tony. I do not want more people to get hurt."

Tony rubbed her shoulder. "I'm waiting to hear back from a couple calls. Maybe one of them will have an answer."

Ziva nodded and got back to work. An hour later Tony was out on a food run when Trent Kort came through with the information they needed, so he called his partner to update her. Their conversation ended with, "This is important Tony. The killer is out there targeting people connected to this investigation. I'm sorry, I cannot wait for you to get back. I will see you soon."

Hanging up on his protest and pushing away the guilt she felt, the agent hurried to the elevator and tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for it to arrive. She almost started towards the stairs when the door slid open, revealing Agent Barrett. Hesitating only a moment, she stepped inside and EJ moved past her. "Where are you headed?"

Wanting to reply that it was none of her business, Ziva gritted her teeth. "Rob is at a hotel in the city. Tony just called with an address."

"I could come," EJ offered.

"That is not a good idea," Ziva bit out.

The other woman's hopes of getting Tony's attention and coming between the close knit partners had been slowly dying over the last few weeks as she had space and time to think through their interactions since her arrival. Nothing she tried had worked and though she wasn't used to failure, there came a point when one did need to throw in the towel and cut their losses. Strangely enough, it wasn't as bitter a truth as she'd expected. But after what happened last night EJ was concerned about letting Ziva leave the building alone. "Well, I could use some fresh air."

She jabbed at the ground floor button. "I am going to get Rob and bring him back to NCIS where he will be safe. Your company is not required. Please tell Agent McGee I will be back soon."

The doors closed and EJ returned to her desk, sitting down heavily, her gaze drawn to Levin's empty chair. Right now she just wanted to go home.

At the hotel Ziva knocked on Room #204 and waited. Several seconds later she repeated the action. "Rob, it's me." She listened and heard nothing. "You said we needed to talk, remember?" At her second entreaty the door was unlatched and she pushed it open further as she stepped inside. "Good. We should get-"

Something hit the side of her head hard and a noise of pained surprise escaped as she dropped to the floor. Only semi-conscious, Ziva rolled slightly and looked up to see a blurry figure standing over her with a gun and she realized she'd been set up. A trickle ran down behind her ear and her last thought before blacking out was for Tony.

**NCIS**

Gibbs spent the morning at his kitchen table with the paper after an early call to Leyla trying to find a place for them to live in DC, preferably somewhere close to him. There were several rental units available and he made a ridiculous number of inquires before settling on three that seemed like decent candidates. Hitting a balance between bullying and sweet talking the brokers he contacted, Gibbs set up viewing appointments and saw all three places before lunch. None of them matched what he had in mind until the last guy remembered an apartment that had just become available.

It was in a large, imposing old house that had been split into separate units. Right inside the front door and up a flight of stairs Gibbs found an older style space. The bathroom was at the entrance, then a nice sized kitchen and three rooms - one beside the kitchen and the other two facing the front of the building - all with tall ceilings and windows. He liked it immediately, made notes of what he'd need to fix, and walked out half an hour later leaving a check for first and last month's rent in the real estate agent's hand and receiving a promise that it would be clean and ready for new tenants by first thing on Saturday. He'd only just gone down to the basement when Tony called sounding panicked because his partner was missing. Gibbs broke every traffic law on record to make it to NCIS ten minutes later and strode purposefully into the bullpen.

"DiNozzo, talk to me."

Without being asked EJ dropped the bomb. "Ziva went to find Rob."

Tony clenched his jaw. "I got a 20 on Crewe from Kort."

"Well, he would know," Gibbs agreed.

"That's what I thought." He shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling responsible because he sent Ziva there and at the same time angry that she went off by herself after they'd promised to stick together.

Gibbs focused on the task at hand. "Location?"

McGee took his turn. "Northrop Hotel, 27th and M."

"She was going to bring Rob here, thought it would be safer," EJ filled in.

"How do you know there's a problem?" Gibbs asked even knowing he wouldn't've been called in for a false alarm.

Rob's voice sounded behind them. "Because I haven't checked in yet. I was on assignment. I just got back to DC an hour ago."

Gibbs glared at the CIA stooge. "Where's Ziva?"

Rob swallowed. "I really don't know Sir."

"We can't find her." Tony hated those words, his face reflecting a deep level of worry. "Tried her home and cell, nothing."

"I knew I shouldn't've let her go alone," EJ lamented.

Gibbs only stared at her. "Ziva is not your responsibility."

McGee tried to smile. "If she wanted to leave, no one here would be able to stop her. Not even Gibbs."

Tony didn't want to think about the skills his wife possessed that made her think she could do everything by herself. "Kort lied," he bit out, ready to strangle someone.

"No he didn't," Rob corrected. "His information was accurate."

The team leader turned to him. "Who else had access to your travel plans?"

Rob kind of shrugged. "My itinerary's classified."

EJ crossed her arms. "Classified never stopped Cobb before."

McGee pointed out a troubling possibility. "What if he got there first?"

"DiNozzo, BOLO out on Ziva. McGee, get me Kort."

Even as he automatically followed orders Tony's mind was churning. He'd never wanted to do that for any team member, but especially his wife. Calling in the particulars only made it worse. He recalled every detail about her, everything that he loved, and felt his sanity starting to fray. They had to find her, they just had to.

Gibbs headed to his desk but McGee's next words sent him upstairs. "Boss, he's already in the building."

He couldn't get access to Kort or the director's office, but he made his point very clear just the same when he pointed and glared at the security camera, meaning every word to the depth of who he was. "If she gets hurt, you answer to me." There was no limit to how far he would go to avenge another daughter.

**NCIS**

The blood on the carpet was chilling and they cleared the suite thoroughly before following crime scene procedure. McGee tried to get into the building's security system only to find out they were experiencing a serious service interruption. He reported this to Tony and the senior field agent's gaze narrowed. "What do you mean the cameras aren't working?" His heart was beating a mile a minute and he could barely get the words out.

McGee sighed. "The entire hotel is down. It has been for days." Which explained why Jonas had chosen this building for his attack.

"Isn't that illegal?" he demanded, clearly bothered. McGee didn't blame him. Cobb's history didn't leave much hope for Ziva.

Gibbs came out of the bathroom. "Same MO. No fingerprints. Place has been wiped clean."

Tony scraped shaking fingers through his hair. "How could she just walk outta here and no one noticed?" He shoved things back in the bag, then stopped, staring at the dark stain. "Maybe she didn't walk out at all."

EJ set her camera aside. "We're all worried about Ziva." She blamed herself for not insisting on accompanying the other agent.

"Yeah, well, it's different for some of us." Her brow furrowed and McGee knew she didn't get it. But he'd been in Somalia too and he did. They couldn't lose her twice.

There was a knock on the door and four guns swivelled towards Cobb, who walked in calmly, blood smeared hands raised in surrender. "I think you people are looking for me." The weapons remained sighted so he linked his fingers behind his head and knelt slowly on the floor.

As soon as Gibbs cuffed him Tony bolted for the bathroom and threw up. His heart squeezed while he coughed and gagged into the toilet bowl, breath coming in strangled gasps. When his stomach finally settled he flushed and rinsed his mouth, staying hunched over the sink.

"DiNozzo." He didn't move, keeping eyes tightly shut against the agony tearing at him. _I thought we had a deal God! Please, not again._ "Hey!" Gibbs snapped and Tony made it upright but didn't look at the team leader.

"I can't do it Boss. She can't die on me again." He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "What if...oh gosh, what if he killed her? I can't-I can't-" The words stopped because he was unable to even breathe let alone think and Gibbs gripped his shoulder hard.

"Look at me. Look at me," he commanded. The gaze that met his bore striking resemblance to the one his senior field agent had after learning Ziva went down with the Damocles and Gibbs sighed. "We are going to find her, alive. You got me?"

Tony swallowed hard and nodded once. "Got it."

"Okay. Back to work. Find me some answers."

Feeling a bit shaky he forced one foot in front of the other and somehow made it down to the car. McGee offered him gum and a bottle of water and Tony spent the drive to NCIS with his eyes closed, leaning back against the headrest, seeing Ziva's dream in vivid detail. This was the something bad that took her from him and he knew he'd do anything necessary to find her regardless of their secret. If he thought it would make them work any harder to find her, he'd spill the whole thing right now. But she was one of their own and everything that could be done would be done as soon as they got back. He could only pray they'd get the same happy ending as the dream where she came back to him in one piece. He wasn't ready to keep the promise he'd made last summer of not giving up if she died for real.

**NCIS**

Tim stood next to Tony in Observation, watching Cobb watch himself in the mirror. "This isn't right, it's too easy."

His teammate's tone was grim. "He knows where Ziva is. There's nothing easy about it."

McGee shook his head. "Cobb's playing us. What does he want?"

Tony never took his eyes off the guy who may have killed his wife. "I don't know, but Gibbs will find out. Rule 16 - if someone thinks they have the upper hand, break it." He felt like doing that to someone right now, but lashing out wouldn't get them any closer to Ziva's location. However, maybe shaking things up a bit wasn't such a bad idea.

When Cobb started telling Gibbs a story about his horse Tony ran out of patience. Frustrated with the man's refusal to give a straight answer, he stormed out of Observation and found Rob in the breakroom. It had been hours since he last saw his wife, he couldn't take much more. He got in the other guy's face and spoke quietly. "Tell me what you know."

Rob looked around and explained quietly that Kort had been overseeing two divisions - a legitimate project approved by the agency and a guns for hire team. He wouldn't tell him who got the money, but he did share a little tidbit. "Kort skimmed enough off the top to retire. Do you think Cobb would've turned himself in the way he did unless he was after something very specific? Something he could only find right here at NCIS?"

He started to walk away, then turned back. "I know you don't think much of me Agent DiNozzo, but I care for her very much." Rob's distress was evident but Tony was so far past caring that it didn't matter. He brushed past the other man, on a mission for anyone who could give him answers. And he'd just been handed a target.

Kort was outside for a smoke when Tony found him. He spun the man around, pushing him back hard against a short pillar. Trent struggled against him. "Have you gone mad?"

"What does Cobb really want?"

Kort pushed him off. "You have no idea how high this goes."

Tony stared him down. "I know all about Operation Frankenstein."

"You don't know anything," Trent countered. "Certain people had a lot to gain from this project."

"I need to find Ziva."

"Stop looking for a straight line DiNozzo," he scoffed. "If this was a chess game think four moves ahead. It's all about the checkmate. He's clever that way."

The news wasn't exactly encouraging. Kort went back in the building and Tony leaned his forehead on the stone. _Where are you Ziva? Please don't do this to me._ But he was afraid it might be too late and that she'd already broken his heart beyond repair.

**NCIS**

Gibbs found Abby in the lab, staring at her computer screen. "Abbs, you okay?"

She blinked, trying not to cry. "The blood on Cobb's hands? It's Ziva's."

He shook his head. "That does not mean she's gone." The forensic scientist didn't seem convinced, so Gibbs redirected her to get a report on Cobb's clothes. Trace elements on his pants connected to the story Cobb told and McGee found them a location on the family farm. A team was pulled together, with the exception of EJ who wanted to come but had been benched by the men upstairs, and minutes later two cars were on the road to Maryland - a familiar destination to Tony and yet another thing he didn't want to think about if they were looking for Ziva's body.

Tony's despair was palpable when they didn't find anyone in the house but Gibbs pointed them towards the dilapidated barn and all four went in with guns raised. A weird noise broke the stillness and several birds flew out in front of them, adding to the eeriness of the whole scene. Then he heard a sound that could only be human. "Oh please God," he whispered. If she could make a fuss she was alive.

They rounded a stack of rectangular hay bales to see Ziva laying on her side, bound and gagged with duct tape. Sheer relief rushed through Tony's veins as Gibbs stowed his gun and bent down. Rob moved to her and Tony shoved him out of the way, carefully peeling the tape off her mouth while Gibbs freed her hands. She hadn't opened her eyes yet and dried blood coated her neck and had dripped down onto her jacket.

Rob, hovering only a foot in front of her, did a visual once over. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Ziva managed as Gibbs brought her into a sitting position. She immediately lowered her head to her hands, fighting a wave of nausea that accompanied the sudden dizziness. She spoke slowly with pauses between words and kept her eyes closed. "Hiding me was...a decoy Gibbs." She swallowed, feeling pretty awful. "He wanted to...distract you." The dizziness passed and she chanced opening one eye.

"Get her up," Gibbs ordered his senior field agent.

Again Rob tried to assist but Tony wasn't having any of it. "Stay away from my partner," he growled. He felt frozen for a moment, just drinking in the sight of Ziva alive, then knelt to help her carefully to her feet and let her rest back against one of the bales.

"Cobb...wanted to keep you occupied," Ziva continued while Gibbs checked out her head.

"Why?"

She sucked in her breath when he touched the wound and struggled to get past the discomfort. "He surrendered because...he needed to get...inside NCIS. It is the only way...he can get close to the man...he holds responsible." He continued probing the cut and she hissed in pain, wanting to slap his hand away but not feeling steady enough to do so.

McGee finally spoke up. "Who's he blame, Vance?"

"SecNav," Rob corrected.

Tony tried not to glare at the man. "Davenport's got twenty-four hour security."

"His niece, Special Agent Barrett, doesn't," Gibbs stated bluntly, the news coming as a surprise to his team only.

Rob grabbed his phone. "I need to warn her."

He stepped away to make the call and when Gibbs finished his examination Tony secured Ziva to his side with an arm firmly around her waist. Gibbs didn't even bother commenting. They'd be stuck like glue until this latest scare wore off and there was no fighting the impossible, though their closeness got more dangerous now that she was technically available again. Rule 12 might not have much effect when she could've died. Tony would be able to taste that fear for weeks if not months.

Rob returned, frowning. "I couldn't get through." His gaze fixed on the dark haired woman flanked by the two most important men in her life. He'd hoped to become part of that circle, once upon a time. He took a step forward. "Ziva." The glare Tony turned on him made Gibbs proud but he wasn't put off. "What is your problem? I told you what I know, I wanted to help."

"I'm still blaming you," Tony shot back, moving them towards the door. Ziva leaned heavily on him for support, experiencing difficulty in keeping her eyes open and focused.

"Hospital," Gibbs decided, as if that was even a question. "Back as soon as you can." Tony nodded and he looked at Rob. "You, with me."

Tuning out the others, though Ziva did squeeze Tim's hand when he offered her a relieved smile, the partners kept up a slow pace to the car. Tucking her gently inside, Tony grabbed a bottle of water from his bag and offered it to her. Ziva lacked the strength needed to crack the seal, so he unscrewed the cap and watched her take a grateful swallow. Almost immediately she closed her eyes and shoved it back at him, swallowing hard, her churning stomach rebelling at the precious liquid she was so desperate for.

She sagged against the seat and Tony kissed her forehead, then shut the door and jogged around to his side. Since she wasn't moving he reached across and buckled her seatbelt. Ziva bent over, head in her hands, and whispered, "Can you take my hair out?"

As carefully as he could Tony worked the elastic from her ponytail, watching the curtain of dark curls cascade around her face. He let his hand warm her back, in that moment unable to speak. _Thank You God that she's alive_. He wouldn't've survived a different outcome. Putting the car in gear, he set off for DC.

Minutes later Ziva grasped his hand. "Do they...know?"

Tony drew a deep breath. It didn't make him feel better to know she'd been thinking of the dream too. "Tell me Cobb didn't touch you Ziva," he ground out, changing the subject abruptly.

She blinked slowly and he wondered if he'd have to repeat the question. But she was just remembering what Cobb had said. _"I wouldn't hurt you Agent David. You know what this is like. I just need a diversion." _"No...more than necessary," Ziva answered finally.

The information eased the iron grip fear had on his heart. "I was worried this might remind you of..."

He didn't say it but she knew. "I could...only think about water. There was...never enough before. My mind made that fear...worse than the situation was." And that stupid monkey who aggravated the pounding headache she'd been aware of the moment she regained consciousness. She rested her head against the cool window glass. "Tony, did you tell?" Ignoring her question the first time didn't bring reassurance.

"No. But you have no idea how close I came to losing it Ziva. When Cobb walked into that hotel room with your blood on his hands-"

Ziva whipped her head around and looked at him sharply, then winced and held her forehead, the movement not doing her any favours. "I'm sorry."

Tony gripped the steering wheel hard. He wanted to yell but had to do it in a subdued, yet vehement tone instead. "What were you thinking going off by yourself Ziva? Did you hear none of what I said on Tuesday? You promised we'd stay together until he was caught."

"I do not remember...going to the hotel." She tried to open her eyes but sunlight sent a stabbing pain through her brain and she gave up. Seeing this, Tony fished a pair of shades from the storage compartment between the seats and handed them to her. Two or three pensive minutes later Ziva turned slightly. "I should have been with you to get food."

His fingers slid between hers, the familiar gesture a comfort. "I guess both of us forgot." He signaled at a corner bearing the hospital symbol on a pole. "Any idea how long you were out?"

"What time is it?"

Tony checked his watch. "Almost five. You were missing about five hours and I was freaking out for most of that."

Her brow furrowed. "I woke up as he was putting me in the trunk and taping my hands together, but I knew nothing after that. I don't know when I came to in the barn."

Losing consciousness more than once meant her injury could be more serious than it appeared. Tony parked near the emergency room and helped Ziva from the car. Pausing for a moment, he cradled her face, pressing his lips fervently to hers. "I'm so glad you're okay," he choked out. "I thought I'd lost you for good this time. I don't think I could live through that twice."

Ziva clung to him. "Thank you for finding me."

He wrapped her in his arms. "Failure was not an option. I'd turn the world inside out searching if I had to."

Since he'd fought his way through death and desert with no hope to bring her back last time, she knew those words were truth. ER was moderately busy for a Thursday but Tony showed his badge and briefly explained the situation, securing them an exam room less than twenty minutes after arriving. Completely drained, Ziva laid down on the table and was asleep in seconds. Tony stood there, chest constricting, and stared at his wife. Even pale and weary and smudged with barn dust she was beautiful. He longed to fold her in a tight embrace and never let go, but reality prevented the desire from being feasible.

Blinking back tears, he put one hand on her hip and leaned down to kiss her cheek. "I love you Ziva," Tony whispered.

The door opened only a handful of minutes later and a man with a clipboard walked in. "Ms. David?"

"Agent Dah-veed," Tony corrected, flipping open his badge.

"DiNozzo and David," he said slowly. "That sounds familiar."

Tony studied him. "I've seen you before too." But he couldn't remember where.

The doctor snapped his fingers. "I've got it. A few years ago, right? Broken nose, hit to the head?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah." Only one more in the long list of times Ziva had been injured. He didn't really want to be reminded about that right now.

"Dr. Brennan." They shook hands and he frowned at the sleeping woman. "Bad guys winning this week?"

Tony sighed heavily. "You have no idea."

He shook Ziva's shoulder gently. "Hey partner, open your eyes." She moaned but didn't move. Biting back an endearment, Tony rubbed her arm. "Wake up Zi, doc's here."

She stirred and sat up slowly, grimacing at the headache that had yet to abate. Dr. Brennan smiled. "Hello Agent David. How are you feeling?"

"At beseder," Ziva replied automatically.

"English Zi," Tony reminded her. "And no, you're not fine." He looked at the doctor. "She's not fine."

Dr. Brennan observed the man's concern with interest. "I'm going to ask you a few questions Ziva, let's see if you know the answers." He checked her pupils, testing vision and hearing while running through his list of inquiries to determine the extent of her confusion and memory loss.

After a couple minutes Tony interrupted. "She got clipped pretty good. Can you do something about that?"

"A cut isn't as serious as some other damage she could've sustained," Dr. Brennan explained, probing her scalp gently to check for skull fractures and palpitating her neck. "We'll worry about that part afterwards."

He went back to his patient. "Can you tell me how long you were unconscious Ziva, and what hit you?" She looked at Tony but the doctor shook his head. "I know your partner could answer, but I want to know if you know."

"A gun." One shoulder lifted and dropped. "I do not know the rest."

Dr. Brennan consulted Tony and he slid his hands in his pockets so he wouldn't reach out for her. "We can only guess how long Doc. She was kidnapped. We found her just over an hour ago. She'd been out twice after the initial blow."

"Are you currently taking any medication?"

Tony disguised a chuckle as a cough, knowing Ziva would've scoffed too if she felt up to it. "My partner doesn't really believe in medication, even on those rare occasions when she actually needs it."

"How about allergies to medications?" The doctor asked. Ziva shook her head carefully once. "Prior head injuries? I already know of one."

This one he let Tony get. "She was in an explosion two years ago, got hit with some debris. And before that, grazed by a bullet." He didn't know how to mention Somalia, even after having been told more than once he couldn't keep track of all the injuries she'd accumulated in that awful place. "Uh...she went through a pretty rough summer the year before last. To my understanding they knocked her around a lot. Hard to say exactly how much of it was head trauma. Special Ops is also in her background."

Dr. Brennan noticed he was being cagey with the details and let it slide. "Not a very good track record Agent David."

Ziva swallowed. "I do not...do it on purpose."

He laughed. "I would hope not. I'm going to do some simple tests now to see how badly the injury is affecting you."

The last thing Ziva wanted to do was be in this room one minute longer than necessary, but between Gibbs, the doctor, and her husband there was no escape and so cooperation was the only other avenue. She knew her location and the date but was fuzzy on repeating months backwards and some of them ended up in Hebrew. And though Cobb might've scrambled her brains a little, his ninja's reflexes never wavered and she passed the finger to nose test.

Finally Dr. Brennan stepped back. "I'll take a look at that wound now."

Since Ziva preferred to move as little as possible at the moment, Tony lifted her hair aside so the doctor could see. He nodded. "Local anaesthetic, a few stitches and you'll be almost as good as new." He was quick, efficient, and only minutes later they were ready to go. "Try to keep them dry for at least a day or two. It'll be tender for awhile but I don't expect any lasting damage. You're one tough lady, I'll give you that."

After Dr. Brennan left Tony searched out and tenderly kissed the other almost non-existent marks on her head, pressing his lips to them tenderly and sighing into her hair. Number three was already three too many. "No more Zi. You're not allowed to leave me, remember?"

"I was not trying to," she murmured, leaning into him.

Taking her home so she could change clothes because the ones she wore were stained with blood, Tony gave her a couple minutes of space and flopped down on the couch to rest and let the adrenaline fade. How many more times was he going to have to lose her? They truly were each one half of a whole, and nothing was better than being together. Tony was so thankful to get one more chance, but in the back of his mind he wondered if they were finally running out after eight close calls between the two of them in four and a half years.

Ziva came out and wordlessly handed him the butterfly clip that had been her Hanukkah gift. Standing her in front of the mirror, Tony gauged his movements to her expression and managed to catch the front part of her hair very loosely back with the clip. He always liked when she wore a gift he'd chosen. Seeing something else that needed to be remedied, he grabbed a cloth from the bathroom and ran it under the tap. With the warm terrycloth he gently dabbed blood and wiped dirt and dust off her face and neck. His wife leaned into him for another hug when he finished and Tony gladly indulged, loathe to remember their responsibility moments later as he kissed her forehead.

"I wish we could just stay here Zi," he whispered, fighting past every protective urge as her husband to focus on his responsibilities as an agent.

"We have...a job to do," she replied just as quietly.

They walked into NCIS two hours after leaving the farm. Gibbs stopped in the middle of a sentence, took one look at Ziva, and ordered Tony to escort her down to Abby's lab.

"I am...fine Gibbs," she tried to protest, but the concussion was throwing her balance off and she wobbled a bit, grabbing the desk to steady herself.

"Very convincing," Tony muttered, ignoring her attempt at a glare.

Gibbs walked over to stand in front of her, his hands on her shoulders. "Not a suggestion Ziver. Marines take care of their own."

Ziva sighed heavily but allowed herself to be led away. Tony did no more than hold her hand on the way down and by the time the elevator doors opened Abby had been briefed on her duties. "Gibbs wants you to sleep on my futon and I'll wake you every hour to make sure you respond normally."

Tony couldn't seem to stop staring at his partner and Abby waved, trying to get his attention. "Tony?" When that didn't work the forensic scientist actually pushed him out into the hall, so reluctant was the man to take his eyes off Ziva. "Go, she'll be fine," Abby insisted.

"Lock the door," Tony instructed, then hurried back upstairs to find out if they'd gotten anywhere with locating EJ and Jimmy. They'd received a phone call in the car on their way back to work about Cobb getting the jump on Barrett and Jimmy and the guy escorting him. He'd taken the Autopsy van, Palmer and EJ's cell phones had been disabled, they had no way to track them by GPS. BOLOs were out, the CIA was on it, SecNav was on his way back to HQ. All that was left to do now was wait.

Once he was gone Abby wrapped Ziva in a gentle hug. "I was so afraid we'd lost you."

"Mmm," Ziva moaned, closing her eyes. "Head...hurts."

Abby clucked her tongue sympathetically. "Yeah, a concussion'll do that every time." She guided the other woman to the designated resting area and covered her with a blanket, making sure Ziva was settled before returning to work. They needed to get their people back.

**NCIS**

A note from Cobb left in Autopsy told them where to find him, back at the building where it all began, the training that made him what he was. SecNav went in wearing a vest and found Jonas spraying EJ and Jimmy and an unknown third person's covered heads with water while their hands were restrained behind their backs. The unknown person turned out to be Kort, who apparently tried to stop him. Cobb whacked him in the back of the head with his gun and he crumpled to the floor. The second bag to come off revealed a shell-shocked looking Jimmy without glasses, for whom the experience was probably more frightening because he couldn't see well and didn't have even a little agent training. Last was EJ and with her Jonas shared that he started in Rota because she was his niece, that way he could be sure he and SecNav ended up together.

Cobb called out Davenport's backup, Vance and Gibbs, and the affair was over with little fanfare. He shoved EJ forward and Jimmy ducked as Jonas pointed his gun at the secretary. Gibbs and Vance didn't hesitate to shoot him multiple times, then the P2P killer fell backwards out the shattered window and ten stories down onto a parked car. They all stood there for a moment, absorbing the meaning of the blaring car alarm, then Gibbs straightened. "It's over."

Vance holstered his weapon. "Yeah. But at what cost?"

Davenport and EJ didn't seems to have an extremely close relationship, but under the circumstances a hug from uncle to niece was definitely warranted. Gibbs checked Kort to make sure he wasn't too badly hurt, then he and Vance tended to Jimmy, trying to talk him through the whole ordeal while waiting for ambulances to arrive. As soon as Carter's team arrived to process the scene and everything was secure, Gibbs gave Tony the good, if somber news and Vance added his permission for them all to head home and come in a bit later than usual tomorrow. Reports still had to be finished but they deserved a break tonight.

Two and a half hours after he'd been kidnapped at gunpoint Jimmy stepped off the elevator feeling more than a little shaky. The last thing he expected to see was Breena, whom Ducky called when Gibbs let him know everyone was fine, Cobb was dead, and they were heading back soon. He knew his protégé would be grateful for the comfort of his fiancee and probably needed her more than he'd ever say. Taking in his mussed hair and the pallor of his skin she wanted nothing more than to run into his arms, but Ducky had cautioned her to act slowly and gently with Jimmy when he explained what the younger man had just gone through.

As hard as it was, Breena didn't move until he locked gazes with her and the agony in his eyes made it impossible to stay away. She walked cautiously towards him and put her hands on his cheeks. "Jimmy," she said softly, breathing a sigh of relief at the confirmation that he was okay. Maybe not okay, but alive and breathing and with her, which was the most important thing. Breena slid her arms around his waist and for the longest time Jimmy didn't respond, like he was frozen, then he grabbed her tightly and crumpled into the corner, sobbing.

Moving with him, she lowered herself to the floor and wrapped one arm around his shoulder, using her other hand to sift her fingers gently through his hair, whispering, "Shh," and "It's okay," and "I love you," over and over and over, as many times as he needed to hear it. The others made themselves scarce, save Ducky's gentle squeeze of her shoulder, but she was too busy focusing on the man she loved to even acknowledge the doctor.

He cried until there were no tears left, finally opening his eyes to look at her only to close them again. "I lost my glasses." Such a little thing, but it put him on the verge of breaking down again.

"I have your spare pair at my place. Will you stay with me tonight?"

"I'm so tired Bree," Jimmy whispered. "I'm not...good company right now."

She kissed the side of his head. "It'll be a learning experience. Practice for when we're married and both of us have times when we won't be good company."

He plucked at his damp scrub top. "I don't know where my clothes are."

Ducky, as it turned out, hadn't gone very far. Upon hearing Jimmy's words, he returned to Autopsy and emerged a couple minutes later with a duffle bag, handing it to Breena. "The contents of Mr. Palmer's locker my dear."

Breena smiled slightly. "Thank you Ducky. Can you help me get him up?"

Jimmy was really out of it and barely responded to their promptings, but once on his feet with Breena tucked in next to him for support, his glazed eyes stared to the side of his boss. "I won't be coming in tomorrow Doctor."

"A good decision dear boy. Rest, relax, renew. Let this wonderful young girl love you. I believe she will be your best medicine." He knew Jordan had been for him when he had to face certain demons. Speaking of his lady friend, he really should see if she was available for tea tonight. He could use a good dose of her company before trying to sleep. This day, among many others, was filled with things that were much better forgotten. If only it could be so easy.

_Replies:_

_Guest - that's a nice thing to take away from the story, anticipation for what is to come. Reactions are a bit of a challenge to determine and I waffle back and forth about what they're going to look like. lol...I can say with a fair amount of certainty that Team Gibbs and the frat gang won't necessarily become intermingled, though because of their love for the same people they'll occasionally have reasons to cross paths once the secret is revealed. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Sue Dooley - thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. When I hear that, the emotions coming across as real, I feel like I've done something right. You're welcome. Thank you for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Debbie - I didn't like the A&amp;M glimpse we got on the show in Swan Song. The hug and tears seems contrived and posed, I wanted a more natural interaction between them. And I just love A&amp;M so I don't turn down opportunities for them to connect. The show may leave a lot out but that's where fanfiction thrives! Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

_Guest (MIT Ch 1) - hi :) I'm posting this here and hoping you'll see it, I can't reply to any questions otherwise unless you're signed into an account. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story, that makes me happy. Z sees T's frat brothers for the first time in Aftermath Chapter 14. I haven't yet published the scene where she meets them for the very first time. Thanks for reviewing :) ~Aliyah_


	58. 8x24 Pyramid 2

**Thursday May 12 continued...again (8:30 pm)**

When it was all over Tony headed down to the Lab with McGee on his heels. Upon Gibbs' return he volunteered to be on Ziva duty for the next forty-eight hours to keep an eye on her, something that had never really been in question to begin with. Gibbs had expected and accepted that both younger men on the team would put themselves on self-appointed protection detail while there was a threat and even though it was permanently neutralized now, he didn't blame them for continuing. He needed to know the girls were safe too, especially after the day they'd had.

The senior field agent tapped a pattern of knocks on the door so Abby would know it was him and she buzzed it open, rushing over first to hug him and then throw herself into McGee's arms. It occurred to him at that moment that he'd missed something crucial, because after two months of avoiding and ignoring each other over an unknown hurt, the two best friends were clearly back on the same page. He watched how Tim held Abby and his chest ached to do the same with his wife. Waiting impatiently until they parted, Tony cleared his throat, glancing through the glass doors at the sleeping figure.

"How's she doing?"

Abby sighed and shrugged. "Fine, I guess. Disgruntled the only time I had to wake her up, but she knew who I was and what happened, after that I left her alone. I think she's in a lot of pain though, maybe Ducky can give her something?" She didn't like that her friend was hurting.

He nodded. "I'll see that she takes some painkillers." Abby hesitated and he jerked his chin towards the door. "You guys go, I got this."

The forensic scientist came back for one more hug and left with McGee. Tony waited until the elevator doors closed behind them, then he slowly approached the inner office. Because no one else was there to catch him watching, he stood and stared at her long enough for all the sounds around him to quiet until there was only his breaths and hers. Tony observed the slow and steady rise and fall of her chest, relief building in him at such a simple thing. Finally, knowing it was getting later and wanting his wife home safe and sound, he went over to kneel by her pallet on the floor.

Smoothing the hair back from her forehead, he pressed a soft kiss there and whispered, "Ziva." She stirred a little but didn't open her eyes. He worked his way down, lips brushing her nose, cheek, and jaw before finally making it to her mouth. When his lips touched hers she suddenly jerked awake, alarm in her expression until she realized it was him. Then she relaxed and let her eyes slide closed again. Tony shook his head. "Come on honey, you can't go back to sleep right now. It's time to head out."

Ziva brought a hand to her head and winced when her fingers encountered the wound. "I'm so tired," she whispered. "Everything hurts."

"I'll get you one of the pills Ducky gave me after the beating as soon as we get back," he promised, supporting her into a sitting position. Tony wanted so badly to carry Ziva out of the lab, to demonstrate in some way that she was still safe in his arms. But the possibility of witnesses prevented such an act, so he instead kept her close to his side once she was standing, snagged her butterfly clip off a nearby table, and together they went upstairs for their things. The partners paused in the bullpen for Gibbs to wrap Ziva in the hug he'd wanted to give her hours ago and made slow progress out to the car.

At home he ran her a bath, hovering beside the tub after she sank into the steaming water and closed her eyes. Tony touched her curls lightly and spoke softly. "Is it okay for me to join you?"

Ziva rolled her head towards him and cracked open one eye. "Yes." The word was so quiet he read it on her lips rather than actually hearing and started to unbutton his shirt. She made a faint sound of protest when he shifted her away from the wall to slide in behind her and Tony hesitated, but Ziva said nothing else so he continued. Finally as close as he'd longed to be since finding her, he breathed a contented sigh. "Can I hold you honey, please?"

She lay back against his chest, feeling about as lively as a wrung out dishrag, and pulled his arms around her. Tony straightened his legs to bracket her body and surrounded her in a careful embrace. Ziva's fingers came up to grasp his wrist and he dropped his head to her shoulder. "I was so scared today Zi," he whispered. "It made me think of the time you were framed, how you disappeared for two days and I didn't know where you were or if you were okay. Until summer two years ago those were the longest hours of my life."

"I'm sorry...I went without you." Ziva moved gingerly, afraid to make the stabbing pain in her head worse, and curled up against him, her head on his chest and one hand creeping up to rest on his cheek. Tony immediately covered her hand with his, turning to press his lips to her palm. "I did not mean to put you through that again."

With her face so close temptation overrode good sense and he closed the space between them, capturing her lips and holding on, unable to break the kiss, needing proof of her here and alive and with him. Ziva, however, pulled back after only a few seconds. "Ani mitzta'eret ahava, but I feel so sick." She'd been nauseous from the moment she regained consciousness in the barn and it hadn't gotten any better with time.

Tony frowned. "When was the last time you ate?" She'd been gone before he returned with their lunch.

"I can't eat. Not being able to keep it down would only make everything worse."

"It's not fair that you got hurt again." There was no response to give and he ran a hand down her back. "I know you can't get the stitches wet, but I could help with everything else."

"This is not the time to use naked to your advantage," she grumbled.

Tony blew on her ear. "I will be a complete gentleman yafa, I promise."

"Alright."

He wet the cloth and smothered it in body wash, beginning with first one arm then the other. There was no lingering as the bubble saturated terrycloth was drawn across her chest and abdomen, and he did her legs next. To keep from testing his resolve Ziva took care of private areas herself, letting her head fall forward while the cloth traveled the length of her back. Seeing the effect it had Tony repeated the motion a few times before lifting her hair and rubbing her neck too, being careful not to go over the spot where her tattoo was.

With incredible tenderness he wiped her face, barely skimming his lips over hers. "I love you Ziva."

"Mmm." She nudged his nose with hers. "I love you."

When the water grew lukewarm Tony helped his wife out and swallowed her in a large towel, leaving her to dry herself while he grabbed long sleeved pyjamas from the dresser and assisted her into them. Ziva sat on the edge of the tub with her eyes closed, resting after what felt like a great exertion, and Tony knelt beside her. "I'd like to carry you to bed."

If her head didn't hurt so bad she would've rolled her eyes. "It is ten steps away."

"Please?"

She didn't answer so he stood and bent his knees slightly, wrapping one arm around her back and sliding the other under her knees. Ziva looped her arms over his shoulders and turned her face into his neck, each breath infused with his fading cologne. For a full minute he didn't move, just cradled his wife in his arms and savoured the warmth of her body against his. Finally he walked into their room and lowered her to the bed. Ziva collapsed onto the pillows, sapped of all strength and energy.

Tony pulled the blanket up to tuck her in, kissed her forehead, and went out to grab a quick bite to eat before returning to sit with his back against the headboard. To keep pressure off the injury she was sleeping on her right side facing him and he curled his fingers around her hand, desperately needing the connection with her, the confirmation that she was alive and breathing and mercifully home safe tonight when it could've been a whole different story. Far from ready to rest Tony couldn't shut off his thoughts and pulled stationery from his bedside table drawer, looking at his wife before beginning the letter.

_I'm so grateful for your life tonight Ziva, that you're okay and I didn't lose the most precious part of my world today. Seeing you like this scares me because you will always be my invincible ninja, but I love taking care of you, care in action when you're not able to return it. I want you to soak these moments up sweetheart. I would do anything for you and I'm glad for the chance to show it. I love you with all my heart._

The letter went on for a couple pages, including more 'I love you' reasons and trying feebly to express his heart in mere words. Finally he turned the lamp off stretched out inches away, setting his watch for two hours. She was his responsibility and Tony would make sure Ziva got whatever she needed.

**NCIS**

When Gibbs walked in the front door he thought he was only imagining the scent of his ex-wife's perfume still lingering in the air. Then the unmistakable smell of home cooking reached him and he strode towards the kitchen. "Celeste?" No one was in the room but it was spic and span, the table set for two and oven on. Turning on his heel he headed downstairs, knowing the only other place she could be was the basement. As soon as he stepped off the bottom stair she left the boat and wrapped her arms around him. Stunned, he could barely respond to the hug, then it sank in that this was real and his grip tightened.

"What are you doing here?" Gibbs managed.

Celeste moved back only enough to look at him. "I couldn't stay away when I knew you needed me. And I couldn't do this over the phone." She hugged him again and he could barely swallow past the emotion of it all. "I'm so sorry about Mike Jethro."

He heaved a sigh. "Me too."

For a long time they held each other, then she let go and took his hand. "I made dinner. Just a macaroni and beef casserole, but it qualifies as comfort food."

Gibbs frowned. "When did you get in?"

She led him upstairs. "I couldn't sleep after you called this morning, so I was on a plane by the time I should've been at work. I arrived shortly after five, went grocery shopping, and started the meal." Celeste scooped food into bowls and handed him one. "I waited awhile to put it in because I wasn't sure what time you'd be back."

They sat down and he sampled the dish. "It's good."

Celeste leaned her chin on one hand. "I like having people in my life who appreciate my cooking."

"Always have," Gibbs responded. Even when things were falling apart she always cooked for him and he'd never been properly grateful. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

After the dishes were done in quiet companionship with an occasional question or comment from Celeste, she followed Gibbs to the couch and settled in to watch one of his old Western movies. Aside from her pulse speeding up, she managed to subdue any reaction when he put his arm around her shoulders, knowing he needed the comfort he'd never ask for. A peaceful couple of hours passed as they sat together with the familiarity of two people who had known each other a very long time. Celeste's hand eventually moved to Gibbs' knee and he considered it a victory when her head found a resting place on his chest. He was loathe to let her go when the credits rolled and debated about making a request for what he really wanted.

The TV clicked off and Celeste stretched, then turned to smile at him. "Thank you for a lovely evening Jethro." Her hesitation was brief before she leaned in and kissed his cheek. "It's late. I better get to my hotel."

"Stay," he blurted and her brow furrowed. Gibbs sighed and kept hold of her hand. "I'd really like to have you close tonight."

The admission cost him, this she knew, and Celeste bit her lip, her eyes flickering unconsciously to the stairs.

She'd probably do it if he asked, lay in bed and hold him through the dark night, but the idea was crossing some major lines she held. Gibbs shook his head, patting the cushion beside him. "Just here."

Celeste visibly relaxed, though her uncertainty was clear. He watched the internal debate play out and then her decision was made. "Very well. I'll call and cancel my reservation." In doing so she committed to staying in the house with him until she returned to California.

While she was on the phone Gibbs grabbed the blanket and pillow stacked neatly together on the floor and set them out. This wasn't the first time they'd shared a couch, so after retrieving her overnight bag and completing their bedtime routines together she lay down close to the back, knowing he preferred the outside where he could be the protector. When Gibbs joined her Celeste paused a moment before making his chest her pillow and he anchored her there with an arm around her waist.

The awkwardness lasted mere seconds and then history took over, allowing them to get comfortable with each other. After a minute Celeste started tracing the letters on his t-shirt. "How long have you been sleeping on the couch Jethro?"

"How do you know I am?"

"The supplies."

"Could just be prepared."

"Not that much," she retorted. "How long?"

He shifted and sighed. "2001. Since the last divorce."

"That's ten years," she pointed out.

Gibbs shrugged. "Less memories here." Which wasn't strictly true, because there were movie nights with Shannon and Kelly, nights when he and Shannon sat on the couch together with their drinks after Kelly was in bed and talked, afternoons he'd fallen asleep laying there holding his baby girl on his chest. Pictures and rememberings started to haunt him and an agonizing ache clogged his throat.

As if she could sense the struggle, Celeste placed her hand over his heart. "Maybe you need a new couch."

He sighed and closed his eyes. Even if they tortured him the thought of not seeing his wife and daughter in every inch of the house was a bitter pill to swallow and a change he wasn't ready for, not yet. The woman in his arms shifted slightly and he rubbed her back. Then again, if he and Celeste were ever going to have a future he'd have to figure out how to handle that change before he lost his last chance.

**NCIS**

**Friday May 13**

The second time Ziva was brought out of sleep was not for her husband's check-in to make sure her concussion hadn't gotten worse, but by his panicked cry of her name. "Ziva!" He flailed beside her as if fighting an invisible enemy. "Ziva!"

Feeling sick and head still pounding, she rolled from her back to her side and reached over to place her hand on his chest. "Tony." Her voice came out sounding hoarse and weak, so she moved closer and tried again. "Tony." But she couldn't be loud enough to drown out what was in his head and she refused to leave him fighting alone.

"Meira," she commanded, "da'ber." _Bark._ The dog, already awake because of Tony, stood up on her bed and let out a sharp bark. When he didn't become coherent enough, she gave the order again. A second bark, louder than the first, finally broke through Tony's consciousness and he startled into reality. "Kelev tov," Ziva murmured to Meira, then turned to her husband. _Good dog._

Rubbing his chest slowly, she felt the pounding of his heart and hummed his name. "Tony."

His head snapped to the left to see her, anguish clear in his green eyes. "Oh Zi." He dragged a hand over his face. It had been too real, what he'd seen, that Cobb kidnapped Ziva not as a diversion but as another victim of his twisted sense of justice. They found her body wrapped in plastic, throat slit by a knife like all the others. And those pictures were holding on hard despite her presence, alive and in bed with him.

Concentrating was so difficult, all she wanted to do was sleep, but how many times had it been her needing comfort, needing to know that what she saw in a nightmare was not real? For her husband she could do this and Ziva forced away all thoughts of her own condition to focus on him. She laid her palm on his cheek. "Tony, I am here."

He put his hand over hers, trapping it against his skin. "You're here," he echoed.

She slid over until it was impossible to get closer to his side. "I am alright."

"Alright," he repeated, staring at her like she was the only thing keeping his sanity intact.

Ziva leaned in and joined their lips, overwhelmed by his eager response. She was not in any state to go further than just a few kisses and Tony seemed to recognize that, pulling back and shifting so they were face to face, his arm curling over her waist. "I love you."

"I love you too," he breathed and those words seemed to be what broke the dream's hold on him. "I love you." She closed her eyes, thankful that the worst was over. Tony swallowed and very carefully lifted her hair away from the stitched area. "How're you feeling?"

She shrugged. "About the same." Brown eyes dark with pain searched his. "What was your dream?"

He shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it. But you can probably guess."

Yes, Ziva could well imagine the images that would plague him after yesterday. "Can I help?"

Tony held her tightly. "This. Just let me hold you and remember we got the best ending we could out of that."

"Okay." She adjusted their position so she could lay her head on him without bumping her injury. "I love you."

He smiled faintly. "You can keep telling me that too."

"I promise I will never stop."

Right now that was about the best thing he could hope to hear.

**NCIS**

They woke up in the morning face to face and Celeste read the desire in his eyes before he had a chance to act on it. Her fingers came up to cover his mouth. "Please don't."

He swallowed past the unfamiliar emotion. "Just one Les? I won't ask again, I promise."

When he cupped her cheek she didn't stop him and Gibbs brought his lips to hers. Oh how he'd missed her mouth! The way she softened under his touch and moved into him, pouring her heart out in the kiss like she always had. She was so warm and comfortable in his arms that Gibbs didn't want to stop, but he was determined not to break his word to her again and finally pulled away.

Celeste held her breath for a moment, then sat up, drawing one knee to her chest and resting her head in her hands. They were too mature for her to run away from him, but her heart felt close to breaking. A taste of what she wanted so badly was almost worse than not knowing if she could ever have it for good. Gibbs, not totally aware of how much of a sacrifice one kiss was, still realized it couldn't be easy for his ex-wife when they weren't anything defined yet and he appreciated what she gave all the more.

Not wanting her to withdraw, he got up and rubbed her back, dropping a kiss on her mussed hair. "Thank you," he whispered.

She caught his hand and squeezed briefly, becoming her smiling self again following a shower and change of clothes. "Can I make you something for breakfast?"

Gibbs checked the time. "I should be getting in."

Her brow furrowed. "You don't even have a day off after what happened?"

He rubbed his chin. "Just want to get the report over with, get it down on paper so it's not trapped up here." He tapped his temple. "I'll be back before the girls arrive." Gibbs scrutinized her. "You good by yourself?"

Celeste gave him a slight smile. "You know me. I always come prepared to entertain myself."

His fingers pressed hers briefly, then he turned towards the door. "See you soon."

"See you," she echoed, staring at his retreating form for a moment. When he'd disappeared from her field of vision Celeste selected her briefcase bag from among her belongings and settled at the kitchen table. Work was the best thing to distract her from all the things swirling around in her mind. Hopefully she'd have them sorted out before he returned. Being so close to the man she loved was interfering with her ability to think rationally and after what they'd shared this morning she needed all the logical thought she possessed to keep her from jumping headfirst into something that could very easily break both their hearts all over again.

**NCIS**

Tony arrived shortly after Gibbs and nodded at his boss but didn't bother saying anything. Leaving Ziva alone in bed had been extremely difficult. He didn't want to let her out of his sight let alone be a twenty minute drive away. But responsibility dictated that everything from the case get wrapped up now so the director could sign off on reports and they could lay the whole mess to rest before Mike Franks' funeral. Except for Ziva's part of the story. The concussion precluded her coming into the office today and he wasn't sure if she'd even be well enough by the time Monday arrived. Then again, she was always so well prepared...

On a hunch he went to the other side of the bullpen and looked. Sure enough, there on the top of the paperwork pile was a new folder. Flipping it open he found her recounting of events right up until they'd gone home the night before she was kidnapped by Cobb. Seeing as that was a different form entirely he could at least hand in her report on Mike's case when he turned in his. Tony smiled slightly. "Good job Zi," he said under his breath.

Gibbs's growl made him jump. "Stay out of her desk DiNozzo."

"I'm not snooping Boss, honest." The expression he got was disbelieving. Tony held up the folder. "Ziva's report. She got it done enough to hand in. Shoulda figured she'd be miles ahead of the rest of us."

He grunted. "How's she doing?"

Tony shrugged. "She didn't get any worse overnight." That was something to be thankful for. "But she feels like crap. And for Ziva to admit to that..."

"Must be bad," Gibbs finished, dragging a hand over his face. He did not like knowing she was suffering.

Leon chose that moment to appear in their team space. "I'm surprised you made it in so early," he commented. "DiNozzo, how's your partner?"

"As well as can be expected sir."

He nodded shortly. "Reports on my desk asap. I want to get this whole matter cleared up as soon as possible. Then you two and Agent McGee are to take the rest of the day off. I don't need to see any member of this team until 0900 on Monday morning."

Relief didn't even begin to describe Tony's reaction, though he kept it to himself. An hour, maybe two, and he could be back in their house doing whatever it took to make Ziva comfortable. If that wasn't enough to light a fire under him, nothing was.

The director focused on Gibbs. "I understand Mike Franks' family is arriving today." The team leader neither confirmed or denied the information. "You let me know if they need anything."

"Thanks," he said grudgingly.

Tony followed up on the comment once Vance left. "What are Leyla and Amira going to do without Mike?" In the chaos of recent events he hadn't even begun to think about what would happen to Mike's girls after his death.

"Move here," Gibbs answered after a moment.

"Here?" Tony echoed.

"Do what you have to for family."

He smiled slightly. "The unspoken rule. Nice."

"Be good to have them close."

Tony knew he was lucky to get that admission from his boss. "Add me to the list." Gibbs frowned. "I'm with Vance, for once we agree on something. If Leyla and Amira need anything, if any of us can help..."

Gratitude was a rare quality to see in the man's steel blue gaze, but it was suddenly there in abundance. "Proud of you Tony," he said, then immediately got up and left.

Sitting back in his chair, Tony allowed himself a small smile. Not a bad start to the day.

He kept his eyes on his keyboard, doing his best to project an air of inaccessibility when EJ and Cade arrived to collect their things shortly after Gibbs' departure from the room. Thankfully they were dealing with a heavy enough load that they didn't even try to interact with him. Both members of the other team spent a few minutes in Vance's office getting their new marching orders and tying up any loose ends from their short time at HQ.

EJ was packing up her desk when McGee got off the elevator and he paused nearby. "Heading back to Rota?"

The blonde agent shook her head. "I'm giving up my post. After everything that happened I need some time to decide what's next."

He nodded. "Take care Barrett."

"You too McGee." EJ glanced towards Tony and it was apparent that he'd been eavesdropping but he didn't look up or make eye contact with her. Perhaps that was best. A clean break, away from everyone and everything that would remind her of her team for awhile. She picked up her bag and box and got on the elevator without even looking back. This part of her life was officially over.

When the doors slid closed Tony breathed a sigh of relief and dropped his head. She was gone. No more sneaking to his desk to avoid her or coming up with excuses for why they couldn't have plans together. No more worrying about his wife's reaction or what might happen if she and EJ were ever left alone. Despite Ziva's current state, he felt a weight lift off of him just knowing that something causing tension between them was now removed.

The thought of her reactions reminded him of the weapons she'd entrusted to him, so Tony checked to make sure McGee was busy with his computer and slid open the metal door of the cabinet behind his desk. Reaching into the back, he retrieved a zippered pouch and opened it to confirm that all of Ziva's extra weapons were as he'd left them. Tony scribbled a quick note and pinned it to the outside, then left the bag in the bottom drawer of his partner's desk where she always kept her purse, knowing she'd find it as soon as she returned to work.

A peek at the clock showed that he'd been at his desk a little less than an hour and hadn't even finished the first page of the report. That wouldn't do. He wanted to get it out of the way so he could go be with his wife. Coffee would help, he decided a moment later, heading for the breakroom. Tony was just adding the last couple spoons of sugar to his drink when Rob walked in. He waited to be acknowledged but the senior field agent wasn't in a cooperating mood, so his rival moved closer.

"I know you were with her last night."

"What's it to you?" Tony ground out bitterly.

Rob crossed his arms. "I saw how you acted when she was missing. I know I screwed up, but I still want to stake a claim."

That crossed a line. Tony's temper boiled over and he shoved the other man into the wall. "What part of 'over' don't you understand, huh?" He tried to say something but was cut off. "Stay away from her Rob. I won't tell you again."

Rob's shoulders sagged under the grip Tony had on his suit. "I lost my chance."

"You're darn right," he spat back.

A knowing look coupled with resignation came into the CIA agent's eyes. "So are you taking it then?"

Tony glared darkly. "That's none of your business." He grabbed his cup and stalked away, not caring for the drips that spilled because of his jerky movements. He sat at his desk with jaw and fists clenched until Rob gave his last debrief to the director and left, checking a text message on his phone while waiting for the elevator. When the doors slid open he entered and like EJ didn't bother looking back. With that out of the way Tony released a slow breath, took a sip of lukewarm coffee, and went back to his report. His only goal now was getting home.

**NCIS**

The minute his report was printed and in a folder, Tony left it on McGee's desk with the others to be turned in to the director as soon as the computer expert finished his. For once Tony had greater motivation than his teammate to be done. He grabbed his backpack, gun, badge, and keys but stopped at the edge of the bullpen. "You and Abby get things figured out?" It certainly looked that way last night but assumptions in the area of people's hearts were dangerous.

Tim glanced up briefly. "We're working on it." Having her in his apartment this weekend made their new guidelines much harder to follow, but hopefully after things settled down they'd be able to get back to a routine that worked for them.

Tony nodded. "I'm glad to hear that." He rolled his eyes in the direction of his partner's desk. "Ziva was worried."

Interesting comment considering who they were talking about, but McGee let it slide and added his own inquiry. "How's she doing?"

His eyebrows rose. "You had a concussion before?"

"Once."

"Then she feels like that, only worse because this isn't her first and the symptoms don't get less intense the more you've had."

Tim winced. "Right. Hey, don't forget ice for where Cobb hit her. It'll at least help the swelling go down."

In all the other things he'd been doing to try and make her feel better, that was one he'd missed. "Thanks. See you Monday."

"Bye."

Deciding to take the stairs down because that was the most exercise he'd be getting for a few days, Tony hurried down the hall and through the door. He was in the middle of the second flight when his cell phone rang. Seriously considering ignoring it because he had a place to be, duty won out over desire and he stopped where he was to answer. "DiNozzo."

"Agent DiNozzo, this is Clay Jarvis. I'm the new Secretary of the Navy."

Whoa. That got his attention. "Sir."

"Secretary Davenport left a few loose ends that have to be tied up and I've selected you for a long-term undercover assignment."

Tony felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. "Long-term Sir?"

"A few months at least, perhaps longer. Is that something you can handle?"

"I've done it before," he said tightly, not wanting his skills to be in question.

"I know, which makes you perfect for this one. Agent DiNozzo, you're going on a mole hunt."

Tony licked his lips. "I appreciate your confidence Mr. Secretary, but I'm not interested. I'm sorry Sir, you'll have to find someone else. Good day." He hung up without waiting for a response and immediately shut his phone off so the man couldn't contact him again. Tony had no doubt this wouldn't be their last conversation on the subject, but no matter what was offered there was no way he was leaving his wife again, not for another assignment. He'd tender his resignation and hand in an application at Starbucks before that ever happened. They were not taking him away from Ziva, he refused to lose another minute of their life together. Too many had been wasted already and he never knew how many more they were going to get.

**NCIS**

Two hours later Celeste's attention was straying more than it was staying on topic. She tried valiantly to focus on her editing, but the words would get lost in her mind amidst the memory of Gibbs' lips on hers when they woke. She'd waited nearly two decades to kiss him again, but this wasn't how she wanted it to happen. Celeste wanted nothing more than to share that kind of closeness with him all the time - sleeping in his arms with her ear against his heartbeat, the freedom to kiss and touch with no reason to hold back. But then she remembered there was a very good reason to hold back, several in fact, and those alone were enough to bring her back to reality. They were building towards a future, racing ahead now would only end in misery and she wasn't willing to go that route again.

By the time Gibbs came back through the door Celeste had the emotional distance she needed again, her heart carefully protected behind a practiced smile. "All finished?" she asked brightly.

He dragged his feet into the room. "Yeah."

Her expression fell. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

Gibbs stopped her with a shake of his head. "I know what you meant."

"What time do the girls get in?"

"1400."

Celeste looked at the clock. "You skipped breakfast. Are you hungry?"

Grief had a way of making him feel nothing except tired. He opened his mouth to say 'no' but she was already heading to the cupboard for a bowl, which she almost immediately switched in favour of a mug, ladling soup into it from the pot on the stove. She passed it into his hands. "Just have a little, please?"

Gibbs could neither turn down her request or her cooking - even if the soup was just from a box or a can - so he accepted with a nod. Celeste went back to her editing project and he sat across from her, finding comfort in the familiarity of her work. After a couple minutes the corners of her lips curved up, making him think about this morning when those lips were pressed against his in a way that reminded him of coming home. He wanted that again, so bad, but he'd rushed into things with her last time because of grief and he had no intention of repeating past mistakes.

"I can't concentrate with you staring at me Jethro."

"I like watching you."

She glanced up. "That's a nice compliment. But I'm serious. Can't you find a book or something to occupy yourself?"

One shoulder shrugged. "Don't know as I can focus on much of anything right now."

Celeste rested her hand on his. "I know. Why don't we leave for the airport now? We'll be a little early but I'll let you buy me a cup of coffee and we can wander around and see if there's anything interesting to look at."

"Works for me." He couldn't handle being idle right now.

"Do we need to take anything?"

"Nope. Leyla was going to pack as much as she could in suitcases, the rest'll be shipped and here next week."

Celeste sighed. "I wish she did not have to start over, alone, again. But I am so glad she'll be nearby. It will be good for both of you I think." Her brow furrowed. "I'm not sure I asked, did you find a place that was close?"

He cracked a small smile. "Five minutes. She and Amira can walk here if they want. Not too far from the library either. There's a park down the street. Hit most of the bases."

"I love the way you take care of the people important to you," she said quietly, patting his chest.

_They're not the only ones I want to take care of_, Gibbs thought, but felt it best to leave that part unsaid for now.

He packed up a few tools in an old duffle bag to take with him, in case any of the things on his repair list were ones Leyla wanted taken care of right away, and they were out the door and on their way in a matter of minutes. Time passed rather quickly between the drive and enjoying their hot drinks and before he knew it people were streaming out of the gate. Gibbs kept his eyes peeled for the Iraqi woman and her daughter and suddenly there they were. Leyla stopped and smiled, pointing him out to her daughter. With eyes too sad for such a small being Amira let go of her mother's hand and ran into his arms.

"Papa Gibbs!"

He scooped the little girl up easily. "Amira." He held her close for several moments, then settled her against him. "How ya doin' sweetheart?"

She tipped her head to the side. "Do you know where my Jaddi is? Mama said he is not coming home." _Grandpa._

Gibbs stared into her serious brown eyes and Leyla, having heard the question, came alongside them. "I'm sorry Gibbs. She does not understand."

The words were a murmur meant only for his ears. He rubbed Amira's back. "I know where he is honey. But he can't come home. He loved you and your mama so much. Don't ever forget that, okay?"

Her face fell and she laid her head on his shoulder. "I want him back."

Gibbs swallowed hard. "Me too sweetie." With his free arm he hugged Leyla. "I'm so sorry."

She held the grief in now just as she had when Liam died. "Does that not break one of your rules Gibbs?"

He gave a mirthless chuckle. "I'd break them all for Mike. He knew it too."

"I am sorry for your loss as well." Leyla turned to Celeste and offered her hand. "My manners, I apologize. My name is Leyla Shakarji."

"Celeste Casey. I'm a very old friend of Jethro's. It's a pleasure to meet you, but I'm sorry it's under these circumstances."

"As am I." She straightened and looked at Gibbs. "We should go collect our luggage."

They headed for baggage claim with Gibbs continuing to carry Amira. She didn't seem to want to be put down and he didn't mind a bit. Long years had passed since he'd had occasion to hold a little girl, he'd savour it as long as possible. Gibbs did pass Amira back to her mother when Leyla pointed out two large, beat up looking suitcases. Her smile was rueful. "Mike did not have very much in the way of luggage."

"Neither do you," he commented as he hefted them off the carousel. "This all you brought?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "We led a simple life Gibbs, you know what that is like. We did not have a lot of belongings. Anything that would not fit and that we wanted to keep from the house is being shipped. Amira and I will start fresh here in DC."

Celeste, who'd collected their carry on bags, followed the small group out to the car and Leyla buckled her daughter into the booster seat he'd found in the basement. It probably wasn't up to code but would do until they could go shopping and purchase some necessities. The return trip was quiet and Celeste noticed Gibbs kept one eye on the road and one on the backseat where Leyla sat with her arm around Amira, softly stroking her hair. He pulled into the parking lot of the stately old house that held their apartment and Leyla studied it, smiling faintly.

"This building looks like it has a story to tell. We will enjoy learning it as we settle in."

Gibbs and Celeste each took one of the suitcases, while Leyla handled the carry bags and Amira. As soon as he turned the key and pushed the door open, the young mother gave her first real smile since arriving. "Oh Gibbs...it is lovely." She saw past the age of the space and instead took in the character of it. She placed a kiss on his cheek. "You made a good choice."

He rubbed her back. "This is your home now. I wanted you to be comfortable here."

Leyla took Amira's hand and they walked through every room. "You can have your own room habibi, or share with Mama for awhile." _Sweetheart_.

The large rooms and high ceilings were intimidating to the little girl and she buried her face in Leyla's skirt. "Stay with Mama."

Leyla bent and kissed her head. "I thought as much."

Celeste waited until they'd made a full circuit of the place. "Can we help you unpack?"

"Please," Leyla agreed, then her brow furrowed. "Oh...we have nowhere to sleep or put our clothes."

"Got an air mattress in the car," Gibbs put in. "That'll do for tonight. Tomorrow afternoon we'll hit the second hand shops, see if we can find you some furniture."

"That is very kind, thank you."

Celeste followed the young woman's lead and opened a suitcase, conferring with Leyla about where things should go.

Amira, usually a smiley, happy little girl was so sad and quiet and Gibbs couldn't take it anymore. "C'mere sweetie." She lifted up her arms to him, then stopped and ran to the first suitcase, frantically rummaging through it. "Mish! Mish! Mama...where's Mish?"

"Shh, shh darling, everything is alright." Leyla bent and unzipped Amira's backpack, tugging out the stuffed cat Mike gave her when she was just a baby. "Here he is."

She cuddled him against her chest, sighing in relief. "Mish."

They hadn't even thought far enough ahead to have a chair for someone to sit in, a fact Gibbs registered with no small amount of frustration. "Leyla, mind if Amira and I go sit out in the sunshine for a bit?" The front of the house had a wide stone staircase with a high side that would do for a temporary seat.

Leyla smiled at the sight of her baby in his arms. It reminded her of how Mike had always held Amira with such tenderness and care, something no one would've thought of the rough and tough former agent. The memory brought a lump to her throat and she did her best to keep the tears back. That picture of her father in law with her daughter was lost forever, she could never see it again except in the photos they brought. "Yes," she said at last, "it would be good for her to be outside."

Gibbs looked at his friend? girlfriend? the woman who held his heart? with a question on his face. "Les?"

"We'll be fine Jethro. Go enjoy it while you can."

So they did. Older man and young girl got comfortable together on the porch with Mish tucked in between them. She was content to be held, uttered hardly a word, and every now and then a tear leaked from her eyes, effectively breaking Gibbs' heart. He tightened his grip and pressed his lips to her forehead. "I gotcha honey. Papa Gibbs won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

Amira glanced up at him after awhile. "Papa gonna stay?" The couple times he'd visited Mike in Mexico she'd always been so disappointed to realize he wasn't there for good.

"Yeah sweetie, Papa's gonna stay. You and your mom and me, we're as close to family as it gets." Celeste might not even tease him about adding to the brood - first the team, then Mike's girls - didn't seem like he could stay alone no matter how hard he tried. Then again, it had been a long time now since he'd tried.

Try as they might to get things feeling settled, there wasn't all that much Leyla and Celeste could do until there was a bit of furniture and storage in the place. Besides second hand stores, they'd also need to pick up kitchen equipment at the dollar store and go grocery shopping. At least the place was clean, it had clearly been scrubbed top to bottom as per Gibbs' instructions when he paid extra for the privilege.

Leyla lifted a soft towel out of the bottom of the suitcase, gently unrolling it to reveal a vase and a small figurine. "The vase was from Mike, because I was always bringing flowers into the house. And this," she held up the knick-knack, "was the only other thing I managed to bring with me when I was smuggled into the country." Her hand came to rest on her midsection. "Except Amira of course. Her father, Liam, gave me that. It is all I have from him."

"I'm sorry you didn't get a spend a lifetime with him." She'd clearly loved her husband very much, Celeste knew a little bit about what that was like. "But I do hope you'll leave room for someone in your life Leyla. You're too young to be alone for the rest of your days."

"When we had Mike and we were a family I was never lonely, not really. Now..." she shrugged. "That cannot be part of my thinking. I must make a life here and be a mother to my daughter. She is all that matters in the world." Leyla shook out the towel. "At least I can give her a bath tonight, to make one thing normal for her."

"But before bath and bed, we need to get something to eat. I know Jethro will insist on taking you and Amira out for dinner. Are you feeling like something Middle Eastern as comfort food, regular American fare, or a different option altogether?"

Leyla's expression softened. "Mike would have liked very much to meet you." She chuckled. "There would be no end to his teasing if he saw the way Gibbs acts around you."

Celeste shook her head. "Acts how?"

The younger woman gave her a knowing look. "Like a man in love."

Ignoring the rest of it, Celeste touched on part of what she'd said. "I know from Jethro that Mike has at least heard of me. It's scary to think the stories those two might've swapped over the years. We've has some really good times and really bad times. I'm not sure which ones he shared."

Before Leyla could say anything else, Gibbs reappeared with Amira. "Ready to take a break for supper?"

Celeste's smile to Leyla silently conveyed, 'I told you', and she nodded. "Ready."

As she walked past Leyla touched Gibbs' arm. "You are very lucky to have someone in your life who knows you so well. Please do not leave it too long, whatever you are doing."

He cleared his throat. "I'll do my best." It was something he thought about all during the meal, as they went to pick up a few food supplies to cover breakfast in the morning, and took Leyla and Amira back to their new home, and as he and Celeste walked down his street holding hands to look at the stars before they turned in as well. He didn't want to lose any more time.

**NCIS**

Since she was still a day away from being able to get her stitches wet, Ziva had to settle for another bath that evening. This time Tony let her take it alone after turning down the lights and setting out a few candles to create the most relaxing atmosphere possible. He hadn't told her about the phone call and thought he probably should, but she didn't need anything else on her plate right now. Sunday afternoon, before they prepared to return to work, would be soon enough to mention it. Then again, with the state Ziva was in Gibbs could insist she take a few extra days off to rest up. And based on how crummy she felt, this time she might actually listen.

When she was out the bathtub and wearing a different pair of clean pyjamas, Tony led her to the couch and tentatively held up her brush. "We need to get the tangles out of your hair before it gets any worse Zi."

She nodded, clenching her jaw briefly. "Carefully please."

He kissed her cheek. "Of course." One of her romance movies was on as a distraction and Tony wished for a mirror to see her expression in so he knew when it hurt. As it was, her shoulders kept creeping up, tensing when he got too close to the healing wound. He was as gentle as he could be but a few snags here and there were unavoidable.

"It hurts," Ziva mumbled halfway through.

"I know honey, I'm sorry."

The process took much longer than usual considering it had been almost two days since the last time her hair was in any semblance of order. She hadn't gotten it wet yet, though the ends were from her bath, and when he finally finished Tony chewed on his lip. "Would it be uncomfortable if I did a loose braid? That would at least keep your hair from getting too messy while you sleep."

She conceded the point and allowed him to follow the now familiar motions of weaving her hair into a plait. Then she slumped back against him. "I don't want to go back to bed yet."

Tony maneuvered them into a lying down position and curled his arm comfortably around her. "You won't get any complaints from me. My favourite place to be is wherever you are."

Her eyes were already closed as she snuggled into his chest. "I thought the pick up lines were over."

He chuckled in her ear. "That's not a line. It's the truth."

Ziva reached back and caressed his cheek. "Mine too. Thank you ahava."

His head nestled into the crook of her neck. "I love you babe. No thanks necessary." His wife fell asleep and he blew out a breath. He might need a few more days of sticking to her like glue before his heart got out of his throat, but this was a really good start. He could stay right here in this moment forever.

**NCIS**

**Saturday May 14**

A nightmare tore Ziva out of the relatively peaceful sleep she'd finally managed and she cried out at the viciousness with which the headache that had been hanging on for two days suddenly morphed into a full-fledged migraine. Tony had only just woken up when she shoved back the covers and went running for the bathroom. The sound of her being sick reached his ears and he shuffled slowly after her, retrieving a fresh cloth from the linen closet and running it under warm water. He pressed it into her hand and kissed the top of her head, gently gathering loose strands of hair back and away from her face. When her stomach finished heaving and she slumped back against the cupboards, drained of any strength that remained, Tony filled the glass on the counter so she could rinse her mouth.

She did, wiping her face with the cloth before handing both back to him and carefully lowering her forehead into her hands. "Thank you," she whispered.

He sank down beside her. "Sweetheart, what was that?"

"Nightmare," Ziva mumbled. "Migraine. Feel awful."

"Oh babe." Tony wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. "Is there anything I can do?"

She started crying. "Hurts," she managed. "Funeral. Can't go like this."

The hurt he could do something about. He fished a couple of the few remaining pills from the bottle and gave them to her with a refill of water. "Gibbs will understand honey."

"Should be there," Ziva rasped. "Support."

"I know." He sighed, holding her tighter. "I know."

It wasn't long before they were back in bed, a garbage pail handy in case she threw up again. When the clock finally reached a normal time of day Tony reluctantly got up headed for the shower, knowing he'd have to leave for the funeral service without her. He hoped not being able to attend wouldn't interfere with her getting closure from Mike's death.

While he was getting ready to go, Ziva reached for the phone and dialed a familiar number, dreading what she had to say. Gibbs picked up, concern in his tone. "You okay Ziver?"

"No," she replied, half-sobbing. "I'm so sorry Abba. I cannot come today."

By the second day he expected her to be doing a bit better, but she had more head trauma in her medical history than most people. "Maybe DiNozzo should take you back to the doctor."

Ziva brought her knees to her chest. "I have a migraine," she all but whispered. "Stress." She didn't want to elaborate, but there was also a feeling of heaviness in her heart. She didn't think she had it in her to handle one more thing related to death. There had been too much of that in her life and she simply had no more left to give.

Gibbs read between the lines. Stress had affected her much more tangibly since Somalia. Headaches were just one symptom and a concussion certainly wouldn't help matters. "It's okay kid."

"Wanted to be there," she forced out. "For you...and Mike."

"I've got someone in my corner," he shared. "You take care of you."

A hint of a smile touched Ziva's lips. "Girlfriend?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes. Even sick she wasn't giving up. "Not yet. Maybe soon," he revealed.

"I'm glad."

"Get some sleep Ziver, that's an order."

"Yes Sir."

"Don't call me Sir."

Ziva swallowed. "I love you Abba. I am so sorry about Mike."

He sighed. "Me too kid. Love you back."

They hung up and Celeste came slowly downstairs in a dark skirt with a blue blouse that matched her eyes. "Is this acceptable?"

Gibbs knew she hated black but was trying to be respectful of funeral traditions. "Yup." He held out his arms and she stepped into them.

"I wish I could stand up with you today."

So did he, but having her at his side would raise too many questions. "I'll know you're there."

Celeste stepped back, holding his hands in hers. "Whatever you need Jethro, please remember that."

_What I need is you to stay forever_. The thought got away before he could reign it in. He kissed her forehead. "I'll let you be that tonight, when it's over Les. Thank you."

It took all her willpower not to blurt out 'I love you' right there. This man had held her heart for going on eighteen years. There was no stopping it now.

**NCIS**

The funeral was well attended. It seemed Mike Franks was well loved regardless of his rough edges. For Leyla and Amira's sakes Gibbs was glad. It was important for them to see how many people Mike mattered to, even if it wouldn't make them feel any better about their loss. Everyone from the team was there except Ziva and Tony looked out of place without his partner by his side. "I didn't want to leave her alone," he shared quietly, "but I needed to be here. She doesn't like people hovering when she's not one hundred percent."

Gibbs knew when he didn't ask about Ziva's absence that Tony was aware of her current state. "She kick you out?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "Something like that." He looked away. "I wish I could do something to help her feel better."

"Neck rubs can have a positive effect on migraines," the older man shared without thinking. When Tony gaped at him Gibbs clammed up and headed up the aisle to take a seat next to Ducky. So as not to attract attention from his team and take focus off the reason they were all gathered today, Celeste sat at the back of the room. But he could feel her eyes on him the entire time and was grateful for her support, especially when he stood at the front to say a few words for his friend.

She hung back again when they arrived at the cemetery and stayed behind the crowd, out of view of anyone who might notice and recognize her. Now was not the time for a reunion. The formal military ceremony helped keep eyes mostly dry, but that all changed when Gibbs knelt to offer the tightly folded flag to his little goddaughter. He straightened and clasped Leyla's hand whispering, "I'll take care of you both, I promise." She almost smiled but the grief was too heavy today to say how much she appreciated what he was doing and how he'd taken them in.

They and the members of Team Gibbs stood as a tight group while many came forward to offer their condolences and when the crowd had at last drifted away a round of hugs was shared before Vance, Ducky, Jimmy, Breena, Abby, McGee, and Tony all went their separate ways. It was then that Celeste felt able to join them and she put her hand on Leyla's arm. "I'm sure this is very difficult. Is there anything we can do?"

Gibbs was startled but found he liked very much how 'we' sounded, like they were already a package deal, their relationship-to-be a foregone conclusion.

Leyla shook her head. "You have been so kind, thank you. Amira and I will stay here with Mike for awhile." She ran her hand over her daughter's curls. "Then perhaps we will go visit your Baba as well, yes?" Liam was buried not too far away and it had been so long since they'd been to his grave to pay respects. She wished Amira remembered him, but that was impossible when they had never met. The only thing she knew of him was photos and the stories her mother and grandfather had told.

Amira sighed. "Jaddi and Baba both gone." She looked up at Leyla. "I miss them Mama."

Leyla sat down on a nearby bench and lifted the little girl onto her lap, wrapping her arms around her. "I know darling, so do I."

Gibbs and Celeste almost felt they were intruding on the moment of grief between mother and daughter, so with one final look they turned and made their way to the car. He stopped by the driver's door, fiddling with his keys. "Don't feel right leaving them Les."

"Then we can stay," she offered. Looking around at the vast burial ground dotted with pristine white headstones, she turned back to him with a smile. "Will you show me around Jethro? Introduce me to the people that have played a part in your life?"

He was incredibly touched by her suggestion and wasted no time holding out his hand. They walked for a long time that day as he acquainted her with the people he'd served alongside, friends from bootcamp that never made it past their first assignment, buddies who fell in the wars they fought, superiors who not only commanded troops but gave their own lives to defend the cause. By the time they got back to where they started Celeste felt she had a whole new appreciation of how being a Marine had shaped her ex-husband's life.

When they returned from their trip down memory lane Leyla was also ready to join them. "Amira needs something to eat." Her solemn little girl hadn't said anything, but breakfast was a long time ago.

Gibbs chose a child-friendly restaurant with casual fare for their late lunch, then they all drove back to the apartment. Leyla and Amira were left to rest for a bit and change before they spent the afternoon running errands. Back at Gibbs' house they did the same - different outfits and brief naps to prepare for what would likely be a very full few hours. Instead of the car this time Gibbs headed for his truck - the bed space would be needed to hold all the furniture he was determined to procure for Mike's girls.

"Ready for an adventure Amira?" Gibbs asked when they met him and Celeste out front.

Amira examined the vehicle with critical eyes. "That looks like my Jaddi's truck."

He crouched in front of her and chuckled. "Difference is, mine actually works."

"Mike was always working on that old thing. He said one of these days he would get it back on the road."

Gibbs shook his head. "He knew the truck was a lost cause, just liked having something to tinker with."

"Kind of like a certain man I know who builds boats in the basement in his spare time," Celeste murmured, earning herself a mild glare from Gibbs.

They got in the back, Leyla insisted on sharing the bench seat with her daughter though Celeste offered the passenger seat to her, and Amira was securely strapped in. The first order of business was getting a proper carseat for the little girl and when they walked in the store Gibbs spoke to the department manager, who conferred with Celeste and Leyla and explained the options. Once that was taken care of he pulled out a crumpled list with the addresses of every second hand store in the district on it and they started with the closest one.

For the remainder of the afternoon they were in and out of the truck about ten times and slowly the bed began filling up with things Leyla and Amira needed for their new start. At every store while Gibbs and Leyla looked at the selection and either approved or discarded items, Celeste would take charge of Amira and the two of them would spend time in the book and toy section. As someone who had grown up surrounded by every kind of literature, the redhead had made it her personal goal to at least start Gibbs' goddaughter's collection today.

Whenever they found a few things and went up to the cash register Gibbs pulled out his wallet, ignoring Leyla's protests. Finally, after the fourth time, she put her hand on his arm. "Thank you for wanting to be so generous Gibbs, but we do have money." The details she shared with a heavy heart, gaze drifting out the window. "Mike increased his life insurance after Amira was born and we moved in with him. He made sure we would be taken care of. Because of that I can stay home with her this year until she is old enough to start school. Then perhaps I will find a job, something to make me feel useful."

He stared seriously into her eyes. "This is what Mike would've done. You repay me by taking good care of that little girl and bringing her to see me as often as you can, okay?"

Tears wet her eyes but didn't fall and Gibbs realized she hadn't grieved at all in front of them yet. With Amira sharing her bed last night he wondered when she had given herself the chance to cry for Mike, if she had at all. "Very well. And thank you. Mike was right to suggest you for her godfather. There is no better man."

Gibbs knew he didn't deserve what she thought of him, but today he'd take it.

After their final stop at the last stop on the list they did a dollar store run to get some things for the kitchen, then made their way to Wal-Mart where they could hit groceries and household goods with one shot. Celeste again took Amira with her and together they picked out some books, stickers, colouring books and crayons, and a couple toys so she would have something to do at the apartment. These purchases, just like the used books, came out of Celeste's pocket along with a cute purple tote bag for the little girl to carry her new things in. The smile on her face was a reward well worth the money spent and the older woman finally felt like she'd done something to help when they met Gibbs and Leyla back at the front to leave.

Many trips were needed in from the truck - which Gibbs and Celeste took care of while Leyla directed where items should go and started organizing her new home. They'd ended up with a rocking chair, dresser, a small kitchen table and chairs, two stuffed chairs for the livingroom with a matching loveseat that was on hold until he could go back and pick it up with an empty truck. A bedframe and mattress for Leyla that he willingly put together, and a crib mattress Amira could use to sleep on for now since she was such a little thing.

All blankets, sheets, pillowcases, towels, and cloths that had been purchased where taken to the laundromat two blocks away and done in one load in the industrial sized machines so they'd be clean for use tonight. Rugs were laid out, dishes, cups, mugs and utensils washed and dried and put in their correct places, and the brand new kettle and microwave positioned on the kitchen counter. Cleaning supplies were stored in a narrow closet, beds made up once everything was brought back from being washed, and everything else folded and neatly placed in the linen closet.

Groceries were unpacked, a simple meal started, and the cupboards and fridge began to not look so bare. One framed picture Leyla hadn't been able to walk away from was hung above the table courtesy of Gibbs' screwdriver, a small stereo so it wouldn't be so quiet in the apartment, and a small rack to hold Amira's newly acquired books and toys that would do until they were more settled. Finally Leyla took a step back and looked around, a genuine smile on her lips. "Thank you both so much. I do not know what we would have done without you."

Gibbs put his arm around her and kissed her temple. "Anything you need, ask."

The hour was growing late and the little one struggled to keep her eyes open. Before they could leave Amira tugged on Leyla's skirt and the woman bent down to her level. Amira whispered something in her ear and Leyla smiled. "She would like Papa to tuck her in tonight."

Celeste had never seen Gibbs so close to tears as when his goddaughter voiced that request. Swallowing hard, he lifted her into his arms. "Wanna sleep in your new bed honey or with Mama?"

She dipped her chin. "With Mama."

He rubbed her back. "Sounds good to me. Let's go find you some pjs and Mish, can't go to bed without him."

Amira's lips curved up and he was thankful to see more of her personality shining through. "Mish is already in bed. He needed a nap and then he wouldn't get up."

Gibbs chuckled. "Cats are like that I guess."

In the room they were sharing he opened the bottom drawer and let Amira choose a pink nightgown covered in purple hearts. The clothes she'd worn went carefully in a basket that served as their laundry hamper right now and then she pulled the nightgown on herself but needed a little help from Gibbs to make sure it was the right way around. He folded down the covers, scooped her up and lay her gently down, tucking her and Mish up tight the way Kelly always asked him to do. He kissed her forehead and started to stand but she worked her arms loose and looped them around his neck.

"I love you Papa Gibbs."

Those words in a child's voice took him back to so many bedtimes with his little girl, but not enough by far, and this time he had to wipe away a tear and struggle to get his emotions under control as he dropped a kiss on her forehead and repeated the sentiment with great feeling. Closing the door halfway as he left, Gibbs took a moment before rejoining the woman. He and Celeste said goodbye to Leyla and welcome home and it was a quiet drive back to his house.

Celeste offered a hug without him asking and Gibbs fell apart in her arms, completely overcome by the events of the past few days. She guided him to the couch and held on tight while he cried, telling him that it was okay, that she would never think less of him for grieving. He ended up slipping into an exhausted sleep with his head in her lap, fingers carding gently through his hair over and over. She was so thankful to have come. No one should ever face a loss alone.

**NCIS**

Tony got home from the funeral and let Meira out to do her business in the yard, then quickly shed his formal clothes and crawled into bed with his wife. He kissed behind her ear and spoke very softly because she already had her hands up to protect against unwelcome sounds. "The saddest part was when Gibbs handed the flag to Amira." He sighed. "That little girl isn't even five yet and she's already lost two of the most important people in her world."

Ziva removed one hand cautiously and realized that the noise bothering her earlier had stopped. "They have Gibbs, just as we do. At least they are not alone."

Meira came through the door and flopped unhappily down on her cushion, since she wasn't allowed on their bed. But it was obvious she knew her human was hurting and didn't like being so far away.

He trailed his fingers down her cheek. "What do you need?"

She wrinkled her nose. "A pill." It was a hated concession but a necessary one if she hoped to be even mediocre company for her husband today.

Once she took that Tony propped himself up on one elbow beside her. "You gotta be getting hungry honey, how about something simple like toast?"

Shaking her head would not be wise, so Ziva just gave a quiet, "No thank you." In this state she hardly wanted to move, making herself care about food enough to eat wasn't going to happen.

He considered the options. "I could do you one better - we've got smoothie ingredients."

One shoulder shrugged. "Maybe later." Which only made him worry more. She hadn't eaten much at all for the last two days and he didn't like the reminder of Somalia.

They lay together in the dark solace of their room for awhile longer but eventually Ziva needed a change of scenery. It was after noon now and the time finally registered. "Can you help me shower and wash my hair?"

Tony grinned. "Like I ever say no to sharing the shower."

She sighed. "It is not for fun Tony."

He claimed her lips for a quick kiss. "Yeah, but you're still naked and that works for me. I can handle lending assistance to my lady."

Rolling her eyes wouldn't do her head any favours either, so she snorted instead and made her way to the bathroom. Half an hour later in yet another pair of pyjamas but with clean hair finally she felt marginally better, however she only lasted upright for about five minutes before the dizziness got the best of her. Tony saw her cradle her head and grabbed one of the throw pillows to cover his lap, bringing her down to rest on it.

She whispered 'thank you' and he cued up the DVR with some of his stuff, since she wasn't supposed to do anything that required concentration - including watching TV. Ziva drifted off again and he kept his touch very gentle as his hand ran down her arm and up her back in a continuous circle. When he was absolutely positive she was deeply asleep, he grabbed his phone from the end table and turned it back on. Four missed calls from a blocked number assured him that the new SecNav hadn't given up easily but he deleted the messages without even listening. He still wasn't interested.

Instead Tony scrolled through his contacts and chose Mark and Cassie's home number. His best friend answered as he always did, "Reece residence."

Tony sighed and rested his head back on the cushions. "It's been a rough few days Papa Smurf."

Mark paused the movie he and Cassie were watching and nodded. "Armchair shrink is in buddy, what's going on?"

"Where do I start?" He thought about the events of the past two days but it felt so much longer than that. "We finally wrapped up the serial killer case."

"That's usually a good thing."

"After he took Ziva hostage as a diversion."

"Oh." Mark exchanged a startled glance with his wife, who was sitting close enough to hear. "Wow, didn't see that coming. Is she okay?"

"Yeah, us either." Tony's gaze fixed on his wife. "He clipped her pretty good with his gun, gave her a concussion. She's feeling kinda crappy right now."

"I don't blame her." Mark hesitated. "Did she...was it..." He was at a loss for how to phrase the question. "Is it worse because of what she went through that summer?"

He gave a weak chuckle. "Funnily enough it's me that's flashing back to the desert, not her. The similarities aren't there for her, just me."

"How bad?"

"Pretty intense nightmare a couple days ago, took awhile to shake. At least she's here when I wake up now." Mark had heard about what things were like for him after Ziva was declared dead and he had to wake up without her every time.

"Is there anything we can do D?"

Tony shook his head. "I don't think so, just wanted to let you know. Obviously we won't be at basketball tomorrow."

"You're getting better at advance notice," Mark joked, then got serious. "I'm really glad it turned out okay."

"Yeah," he breathed, "so am I. You'll never know how much."

At that point Cassie took the phone from her husband. "Hi Dante."

"Cass," Tony smiled. He knew if she was nearby she wouldn't let Mark get away with hogging the whole conversation.

"I wanted to tell you something Ziva shared with me the first time she had a bad month after she got home."

"Okay. Shoot."

"This won't be exact wording, I'd have to go look it up. I wrote what she said in my journal because it sounded so sweet. 'I like when he holds me. Tony runs his fingers through my hair and massages my head until I forget how much it aches. Sometimes he kisses my eyelids when he thinks I'm asleep.' I just thought you should know what she thinks when you take care of her."

Tony bent over and pressed his lips to his wife's hair. "Thanks sis. That was really nice. I'll definitely keep it in mind seeing as she's using my lap as a pillow right now."

"Give her a hug for me. Tell her we'll be praying. For you too."

"I will. And thanks, from both of us."

"Take it easy D," Mark instructed, getting his phone back. "We'll check in with you in the next couple days."

They hung up and Tony not only did everything Cassie had told him, but ever so gently he began rubbing Ziva's neck and focusing on the muscles there. He was one hundred percent certain Gibbs hadn't meant to let that piece of information slip, but if he'd said it obviously he knew from experience that it helped. And right now he wasn't about to turn down anything that would bring a small measure of comfort to his wife. She was, after all, his greatest treasure and he intended to spend the rest of his life treating her that way every time he had the chance.

*END OF PART 5*

_A/N: Well, we finally made it. There were some days and weeks it felt like we'd never get here, but this is officially the end of MIT Part 5. I'm taking two months off starting now so I can work on the part that comes next - __**What Lies Between **__\- which will cover the summer while Tony's away on assignment. I hope to be back with the first chapter by the first week of July. Thank you all so much for your support and for continuing to follow MIT even when my posting was rather inconsistent at times. It's been a long two years but you guys stuck by me and I really appreciate the loyalty. There's lots more story to tell so hang in there and hopefully I'll se you all back this summer! Lots of love ~Aliyah_


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